#i still have a prompt sitting in my askbox from two years ago now :')

[mane--attraction]

Yes I reread the Murdock stuff

Yes I'm fighting you in a Dennys parking lot

Yes you know who this is

Hfmgnfgm i need more lore about this idiot I need to eat him

Heh 😏😏

Oh you wanna eat him alright...eat his— falls down the stairs

[flatoutin-eaurouge]

Don't leave me alone in this cruel world. Part 1/2

Pairing: Mika Häkkinen x Michael Schumacher

A week ago a lovely anon 🫶 entered my askbox with a heart-breaking and very angsty prompt. Thank heavens, I was allowed to write a happy ending! I wanted to do this prompt justice so I decided to write it in two parts...

Amid the revelry at the afterparty of the FIA ​​Price Giving Gala of 2001, two rivals sat down for a chat in a quiet corner of the huge ballroom. Michael had perched himself on one of the lounge chairs, his shiny trophy proudly sitting next to him on a side table. This evening he was at the center of attention, but he gladly made time for his favourite rival.

Mika stared at the World Champion of 2001 sitting opposite to him and smiled. Michael was well on his way to become the greatest legend of the sport, if he wasn't already. Four championships and counting. He slapped the German on the thigh. "You're making it very difficult for me to catch up!"

Michael laughed, his lips quirking up in a warm, genuine smile. He grabbed Mika's hand and gave it a little squeeze. "I miss our battles, Mika! I miss fighting tooth and nail for championship points and I miss deciding a championship on the last race day."

Mika threw Michael a rueful smile and tilted his tumbler of Scotch, staring at the amber liquid inside the glass. "I've lost my spark, Michael. I don't know what it is, but DC seems to have surpassed me in terms of speed."

"That's nonsense, Mika!" Michael placed his own tumbler of Scotch on the salon table and spread his hands in front of the Finn, as if he was trying to make a point. "Your car is incredibly unreliable! It creates a distorted picture of the championship table. Remember Spain?"

"Of course I remember Spain. You were very sympathetic to me. I remember that!"

Michael nodded. "You know, I just feel a certain way towards you. Our battles were always fair and I appreciate you as a rival. Villeneuve and Hill wouldn't have deserved that kind of sympathy from me."

Mika chuckled. He studied the face of Der Kaiser and noticed the glimmer in his eyes. "Always fair? From your side as well?" he teased.

The German took Mika's comment in good humor, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Okay, Macau 1990 is debatable... but other than that?"

Mika winked at his rival. "All good."

Michael threw Mika a beaming smile and realized that their connection was really special. He would have never expected to feel genuine admiration for a fellow driver. But Mika and him had a long history. He could still remember the day they met. It was on a rainy day in Kerpen, Manheim. They were both lanky teenagers with questionable haircuts in cheap racing attire. They were always a bit distrustful towards each other, which was logical because they both still had a long way to go to get to F1. Over the course of years, they had grown into handsome adults and their interactions had grown more mature.

"Hey Michael." Mika snapped his fingers to pull Michael from his daydream. "I want to know your opinion on something."

"Oh sorry. I was fading a bit. I don't think you need my advice, but please go ahead."

Mika looked around nervously, making sure no one was in hearing distance and leaned a bit forward in his chair. "I am thinking about quitting," he whispered.

What?! Michael froze in position and blinked with his eyes. The ease and the swiftness in which Mika spoke these words startled him. It caught him by surprise completely. If he was drinking his whiskey right now, he would've probably spit it all out on the neatly ironed slacks of the Finn. "You say what?!"

"Sshhh." Mika pressed a finger to his lips. "Not so loud. Only Ron knows about it."

"Mika, you can't quit!"

"Michael, lower your voice, goddamnit!" Mika hissed. "There is too much press here!"

"Sorry!" Michael now whispered. "What did Ron say? I don't think he is happy?"

"Ron, told me to think about it very thoroughly. He is willing to give me a year off, like some sort of sabbatical for next season. So my decision won't be too definitive."

"Why would you want to quit though?"

Mika sighed as he downed his glass of Scotch. "I don't want to risk my life anymore with that unreliable car. I've had my shunt in 1995 at a time my journey wasn't complete, so I decided to return to racing as soon as my condition allowed it. But now... I have two world championships and Erja is at home taking care of my first born. I don't want Hugo to grow up without a father."

Michael swallowed as he stared at Mika intently. How could he forget? His rival had almost died that year. He rembered how upset he was. Even during his championship celebrations he spared a thought for his unfortunate childhood rival. "Your 1995 crash..."

Mika nodded. "Yeah, I don't want to relive that all over again! Especially not now I have a little family."

There fell a silence between them.

Michael stared at the floor and tried to smooth out the creases in his slacks. It was six years ago. So many things had changed. The FIA had obliged drivers to wear a HANS-device.

"Mika... would you consider driving for one more season? Just to see if Newey can make your car more reliable? To wipe the floor with David and battle against me?"

Mika bit his lip and thought for a moment. The images of his near-fatal crash flooded his mind "I don't know, Michael. At least two of my big crashes were because of a failing tyre suspension."

"You know how much the safety has improved since your crash in 1995!" Michael was shocked by his own words. Why did he make it seem like Mika's crash back then was no big deal?! Was he too selfish asking Mika to stay?

Mika quirked up an eyebrow. "What difference does one more season make, though? Do you really think this year will be different?"

"Mika, you're talented and fast! You deserve another world championship! Maybe you win 2002 and we will be sitting at the FIA Gala like we are now, staring at your shiny trophy."

Mika nodded. He didn't seem convinced but the twinkle in his eyes told a different story. "I will think about it."

Melbourne March 3 2002, Albert Park

There he was! Like nothing had changed. Michael let his eyes roam over the silver-white McLaren race suit. The garment hugging Mika's slender waist and making his shoulders look extra broad. It was the outfit he loved most on him, despite the garment wearing the badge of the arch rival.

Mika had grown his hair out again as if his renewed race spirit had begged him to go back to the good old times, where Michael and him had to fight for every championship point.

Michael watched as Mika's hand carded through that mop of thick blonde hair, making its golden layers cascade in the sunlight. It was really just like the old times!

The Finn walked past Michael and winked at him, as if he wanted to say: See! I listened to you! Here I am! Now make it memorable!

Michael felt a source of warmth send sparks through his body. The corners of his lips curled up in a genuine smile. He craved for the good old times! He craved for a season like 2000.

Yesterday, Mika had managed to qualify his McLaren MP4/17 on the first row next to Michael, proving that he had lost none of his spark.

"Now we will have to see if the car doesn't fall apart during the race. I have some bad memories from last season," Mika had said during the press conference.

Michael remembered that he had told Mika at the FIA Gala that he was convinced Adrian Newey would make it work. That man was genius! A genius that Ferrari would love to fit into their team.

But Newey was a McLaren guy just like his favourite rival, who was getting into his car right now. Michael watched as Mika put his blue and white helmet on and felt the heat from the core of his body travel to his cheeks when he noticed that Mika was smiling at him. He reveled in the Finn's cheeky twinkle. Gosh. Michael wanted to thank the heavens Mika qualified first row with him.

He sat down in his own car as all mechanics were ushered to leave the grid for the starting procedure. Michael flipped his visor down. He had an inkling he would be going to enjoy this race, driving wheel to wheel with his Mika.

With the formation lap done, Michael focused on the red lights flashing on one by one and engaged his throttle. Lights off...

The joy of a perfect start... Mika knew he was an excellent starter, but bringing the wheelspin to a minimum and flooring his pedal at just the right time sent a wave of serotin through his body. Could he miss this feeling? Was it the right decision to continue after all?

Michael saw him disappear into the horizon and he could feel the broad grin that tugged at the corners of his lips almost instantly.Yes! Let's go!

Mika's leap to the front lasted for a full fourteen laps before Michael saw the Finn's car gradually growing more prominent into his vision. That black, white and silver... not the black, white and silver of David Coulthard, but the right black, white and silver.

He grabbed the steering in a white-knuckled grip and almost jammed the throttle into the floor of his car. His engine roared. The chase had started...

He followed Mika, copied his racing line and tried to optimize it Schumi-style. It worked. He was swiftly approaching his rival.

Until a radio call stopped him from engaging in a battle with the Finn.

"Box, Box Michael. We're going for an undercut."

"Give me one more lap, please!"

"Negative."

Michael shook his head in annoyance. He craved for a wild, primal battle with that blonde stud. Maybe if he drove a little more on the limit he could get Mika before the pit entry!

He bit his lip and pressed down. The RPM reaching the limiter.

"Michael, what are you doing? Cool the engine!"

Michael could see the large back wing reading Mika's name on it only 1,5 second in front of him. A feeling of sudden happiness spread through his body. He was close...so close...

Until...

The entire tyre suspension on the front of Mika's car tore off, leaving debris all across the track. It sent the car into a wild spin. A spin at a speed of 300 km/h. Michael gasped as his eyes tracked the sudden movement. What the hell?! This can't be real!

The tyres of the black car scraped on the tarmac. Sparks jumped off of the broken metal of the tyre suspension. A large sausage curb sent Mika's car flying into the gravel trap with a heart-stopping speed.

Michael began to slow down in an instant and watched the silver McLaren crash into the barrier surrounding the track with a loud bang. His heart rate went up. It all went quiet for a moment as the agressive roars of Michael's engine starten to lessen. He steered his car onto the grass without hesitation.

Michael stopped his car and jumped out of it. My God, Mika! He beelined through the gravel trap all the way to the steaming wreckage. The race would probably be redflagged anyway... and even if it didn't... who cares! Mika was inside that wreckage. The man who didn't want to risk his life anymore. The man who wanted to see his firstborn grow up. The man he asked... no begged... to continue racing regardless!

Michael rushed to the cockpit of the car, his rapidly beating heart banging against his rib cage, afraid for what he would encounter.

He gasped in horror when he saw Mika's seemingly lifeless body hanging over the steering wheel. Michael didn't hesitate. He took Mika's helmet off to make sure he could breath freely, then gently pushed his body to lean back against the headrest. Oh Christ!

The Finn's balaclava was damp and dark red and his eyes were closed. No, Mika! Michael tugged at the drenched cotton, wincing at the warm and moist feel of it, then gently pulled the thing off.

Mein Gott! Like his balaclava, half of Mika's face was coated in blood. It streamed in waves of red from his nose and mouth, pooling in the collar of his race suit until it seeped down from underneath the velcro of his collar. It contrasted brutally with the silver-white of the McLaren overalls.

It was only five minutes that Michael was alone with Mika, but it felt like hours...

The tears streamed uncontrollably down Michael's cheeks. To watch the life literally pour out off his beloved rival broke his already aching heart beyond repair. This was his fault! He did this!

He gently caressed Mika's face and wiped the blonde hairs sticking to the blood on his face to the side. I'm sorry I did this to you! Michael's hands were shaking as he unclasped the Finn's safety belts and clutched his limp body to his chest. This should not have happened.

Even if this crash was like Adelaide '95 – meaning that Mika would recover... – it also meant he would have to go through all of that again! The pain, the anxiety, the loneliness and the boredom.

Michael held him as he cried bitter tears of emotion. He tried to cuddle the Finn's body to his chest and murmered encouraging words into Mika's ear. Stay with me, please! Please, Mika!

In the remaing minutes, Michael zipped the Finn's race suit open, looking for wounds that needed to be staunched. Where does all that blood come from!? Michael's hand ghosted over Mika's fireproofs, feeling for red, damp spots... until his fingers touched something cold and hard. He gasped loudly and tugged the sturdy textile of the race suit further open to see for himself how a long piece of debris from the car had impaled Mika's side. The steel rot stuck out from between his ribs. A dark red spot betrayed the severity of the wound.

Michael retrieved his hand and stared at his red, treacly fingers in terror. He shuddered all over. Bitte, helf mir mal! Jemand! His hands went down again, inside Mika's unzipped race suit. He grabbed the textile of the fireproofs surrounding the wound and pressed down to staunch the bleeding. Stop fucking bleeding!

He cried in frustration. His breathing hitched in his throat. Hot tears made his vision blur. Michael was in a shock. The guilt taking over his mind made him shiver in pure agony. This was his fault!

Closing his eyes and fearing for the worst he felt for Mika's pulse. Contrary to what he expected, the Finn's heart was racing, which meant he was still alive, but Michael knew the organ was fighting against the enormous loss of blood. Trying to dry the ocean with a thimble! Where were the goddamn medics?! Five minutes already!!!

And although those five minutes alone with Mika meant the world to him, he cursed those five minutes as well, because it all took too long. The life was literally pouring out of his rival.

Michael started to fear that this crash was nothing like Adelaide '95.

He held Mika's face in his hands, gently pressing a kiss to the Finn's temple. You are the most respected rival I've ever had! Don't go! Please don't go! He stared at the Finn's pale face, his colourless lips and his closed eyes. His expression was calm and serene like that of an angel, but his face was hellish red. Will you ever forgive me?

Michael watched apathetically as the medics pushed him aside to take over from him. He barely listened to the medic scolding him for removing Mika's helmet without stabilizing his neck first. All he could think of was his Mika, suffocating in waves of blood.

Michael was gently but firmly lead away from the scene of the crash, while he barely registered what was going on. They pushed him into a safety car and drove him back to the paddock.

He stared with tears in his eyes at the red flags that were being waved along the track. He sighed and closed his eyes. Why the hell did this happen? How could he ever live with himself?!

When he arrived at the paddock, Michael wiped his forehead and immediately realised that the blood he was smearing all over his skin with the action, was the blood of Mika.

Michael let out a heart wrenching sob and sagged down against a wall. He covered his face in his hands and didn't look up when people put a hand on his shoulder and spoke to him. He didn't dare to look at the tv screens inside the Ferrari garage that broadcasted the actions of the medics. He was in a world of his own. Praying he could reverse time...

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions

First Monday of the month, trying to get back into the habit of doing these...

As always, I’m hanging around for Open Question Night--my askbox is always open, but tonight I’ll be keeping an active eye on it. Anything related to any of the fandoms I’ve posted here or on AO3 is fair game, or my original stuff if you’re familiar, etc. I do take prompts, but given how slow I’ve been at putting out content lately, I don’t guarantee filling any in anything approaching a timely manner, lol.

Probably a short update this month, but I still like doing these so here goes.

Star Wars:

Trying to get back into writing Protectors and/or Preludes, both of which are Way overdue for an update. Also starting to poke at possibilities for next year’s BB, because I do enjoy participating a lot. The Obi-Wan series didn’t spark as much inspiration as I’d hoped (although I did love it a lot!) so we’ll see how that goes.

Castlevania:

I ran into a roadblock with Incinctus faster than I expected. I forgot that Chapter 4 was only half-done, and I keep forgetting to actually finish it, lol. I know more or less what I’m doing, I just need to sit down and get the actual words on paper, so to speak. And then I should be able to get back to regular updates for a while.

Battlestar Galactica:

Having now watched all the stuff I actively Need for The Other Battlestar, I’m starting to put actual text together (beyond a couple of snippets I’ve already written here and there, a couple of which I’ve posted here, including the one that I wrote 10+ years ago). I’m going back and forth on whether or not I want to ignore a particular timeline detail from Razor, and toying with how I want to structure it (there’s a fair amount I need to cover in the miniseries, but a good chunk of it is establishing the relevant OCs for this AU and I know that’s not always the best place to start; but on the other hand, if I just jump into 33 and/or Pegasus encountering its civilian fleet, that...I feel like that wouldn’t really Work.)

Also need to work out an Official Title for this story, lol, but that can come when I actually get around to posting it.

I am enjoying fleshing out the I need--also going back and forth on whether or not to include a Four who will remain incognito until the end of the fic; there are some plot points that would be easier to get around if he’s there, plus I feel like there’s a lot to explore with Fours that we don’t get as much of as we could and I’d like the excuse to work with one extensively. That being said, I’m leaning towards no, I think he would cause more problems than he solved for me, but the idea refuses to die.) As a tangent to that, the senior medical officer on Pegasus is going to be fairly prominent, and figuring out how many subordinates/etc. I need to build for her is. Like. ...I googled what the medical department on an aircraft carrier is supposed to be and. It’s A Lot. (Cottle having...basically just him and Ishay and maybe a couple of corpsmen/I feel like there’s more than just the two of them in a couple of the surgery scenes...anyway, that’s justified in that Galactica was stripped down to a skeleton crew. Given that Pegasus had just docked for extended rehaul/shore leave/etc., I’m not sure that holds true there? But, then again, we don’t know the full makeup of the 700some people who died then...I’m overthinking this, lol. Anyway, I did decide that Daphne gets at least one additional doctor from the stripped civilian fleet, which is where the Four would come in if I do involve one, but that’s a separate conversation.)

Other Fanfic Projects:

Working on pod-together, this year’s project is a Leverage/Nikita crossover which is proving a lot of fun to work on! And my reader/partner likes what I’ve put together thus far so hopefully this’ll appeal to a general/broader audience as well.

Original Fic:

Thanks to a rainbowfic challenge, I’ll hopefully/probably/fingers crossed actually do some this month? We shall see...

I think that about covers it! Like I said, a fairly short one this month. What about you guys, what are you working on?

((Also, do y’all want to see me post more WIP snippets on here? And/or on my Discord, if you’re there? Obviously not for challenges like pod-together/big bang/etc., which have Rules about reveals, but for the other stuff. I don’t mind sharing (clearly; I’ve put things out before, lol), but.))

[fangirl-ramblings]

Soft asks number 3 for john and Abigail

Pairing: John Marston x Abigail Marston

Words: 1040

Summary: John thinks back on what a terrible husband and father he's been over the years… only to realise something very important 

Prompt Requested: "You're comfier than my pillow"

Notes: Fluff, Post Epilogue, Possible Spoilers for key points in the game [CW: mentions of pregnancy]

I'm so sorry this request has been sitting in my askbox for over a year 👀🙈 But your constant support and inspiration motivated me to finally finish this. So much so, what was originally planned to be around 100 word drabble turned into over 1k words. (This is also a giant thank you for putting up with my radio silences these last few weeks 😘)

Requested tags for: @redeadepression a.k.a. John and Abigail's biggest fan and defender.

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

Finally Found What I've Been Looking For

1908, Beecher's Hope

A thudding sound filled the air of the master bedroom in Beecher's Hope as Abigail punched her pillow in frustration. It was the third time this week that sleep had eluded her.

     "What's the matter, darlin'?" John asked, half asleep, moving his arm out towards her in an open invitation for her to come closer to him.

     "What's the matter? What's… the… matter?" She growled, emphasising every word he had just said to her back to him through gritted teeth. "I can't sleep because I'm so damn uncomfortable. And there's your damn snoring, John Marston… all of this is your fault, you know." Throwing his arm back towards him, she flopped back down in the empty space next to him.

   "So you keep tellin' me," he chuckled lightly, ignoring her earlier protests, and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her towards him. "And while I may have played a small part in makin' you feel this way, I think you'll find that it's this one here who is causin' all the trouble," he grinned, placing a protective hand on Abigail's ever-growing baby bump.

Not being able to resist a chance to swipe at her husband she muttered, "Small part indeed," under her breath, causing John to shoot her a pretend hurt look. Taking a second to steady her thoughts, Abigail apologised, placing a hand on John's chest. "I'm sorry. I'm just fed up of bein' pregnant now. I just wanna meet our daughter."

   "Daughter?" John raised a quizzical eyebrow towards her. "How can you be certain it's a girl?"

   "I'm not, but this time feels completely different to when I was carryin' Jack… so I've just got it into my head it's a girl this time."

John kissed the top of his wife's head, feeling her instantly relax into his body. "Well, I can't wait to meet them either, no matter if they're a boy or a girl, but you need to get some rest before they get here. You're cranky enough as it is without sleep; throw in a newborn awake all hours of the night, and I reckon you'll kill us all," he teased, rubbing her back.

Abigail nodded with heavy eyes, "I know… I know. But I think I might be able to sleep now - you're far comfier than my pillow is… even if you are still quite boney." 

John playfully rolled his eyes at her insistence to always get a dig in at him. He knew that while her barbed comments may seem uncaring to an outsider; he used to think the same thing himself when she'd make comments whilst living in camp together, he came to realise that her callous words were just a way of hiding how scared she was of saying how she really felt about him out loud. While John might have appreciated Abigail telling him that she loved him out loud, he already knew that she did and would smile to himself when she tried to hide the fact once more under an insult to his face.

Brushing a loose hair from her angelic like features, trying not to laugh as she swatted his hand away, John grinned, watching her finally fall asleep. He couldn't help but internally kick himself that he never wanted to do any of this all that time ago when she was carrying Jack and was never really around for them both in the years following his birth. 

He'd always held a soft spot for Abigail, ever since she first walked into camp all those years ago, the sting of her sharp witted tongue dulled by her outstanding beauty. But within a few months of meeting her, she'd fallen pregnant and told him he was the father and it suddenly felt it was like someone had placed a giant millstone around his neck. Back then John just wanted to drink and be merry with his campmates and had thought his life was to have a greater meaning than being a sole provider to two of his campmates. He even ran away from his responsibilities for a whole year to try and find out what it was he really wanted from life, but that hadn't helped him find what it was that he was looking for. No, it had just left him with a feeling of guilt and regret he'd left his chance of having a proper family behind. He'd come back with his tail between his legs, but still couldn’t summon the courage to be a proper father to little Jack, let alone be a good partner to Abigail.

He had tried though, in the years that followed, especially after they finally got Jack back from the clutches of Angelo Bronte, and later on in the aftermath of the gang's demise, John had tried to give Abigail and Jack what they needed from him; but it never seemed enough. They'd rent a room somewhere while they both looked for good, honest work… and within a few weeks, or months if they were lucky, they'd be moving on again. Abigail nagging once more at him that it was because John couldn’t help but get himself in trouble for trying to protect them.

But watching his wife sleep soundly carrying their second child and knowing their eldest was safe in a bed of his own, with a roof over his head, it suddenly dawned on John that this right here was what he'd been looking for for all that time; stability and safety for his family. He'd spent years looking over his shoulder making sure no-one could hurt the two things he loved most in this life, and only now with Arthur's death avenged and Micah laying dead up on that mountain, the unbearable weight had been lifted from John's shoulders. For the first time in a long time, it felt like they could live the life Arthur had sacrificed himself for and John could  finally breathe again.

Closing his own eyes he started to dream of all the good things that could be waiting for his ever growing family in this new chapter of their lives… only to be rudely awoken by Abigail sleeply hitting his chest.

   "Damnit John, quit with the snorin' will ya?"

[lightsonparkave]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIGHTS ON PARK AVE! WE’RE OFFICIALLY A ONE-YEAR-OLD BABY (our birthday was on the 22nd). Join the celebrations by submitting a work! There’s one week left until Round 12 closes on August 31, and you have 80 prompts to choose from. There are no minimum work requirements or limit to how many works you can submit.

Not sure you can finish your work in time? Little messages are great presents too. What has the past year of Lights on Park Ave been like for you? Do you have a favorite prompt or round? A favorite LoPA work? Want to make a rec list of your favorites or wax poetic and show some love for a specific work and/or creator? Go for it. Let the Steve/Tony community know! The LoPA askbox is open or if you want to make your own Tumblr post or tweet, you can mention @lightsonparkave or tag #lightsonparkave. Whatever method you choose, I’ll make sure to share your message/post on here and Twitter.

Or maybe you’re not up to making anything this time. In that case, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Here are all 46 Lights on Park Ave works for previous rounds.

ART

3490 & 616

A comparison between 616 Civil War and universe 3490 where the war was averted by the marriage of Steve Rogers and Natasha Stark - @jarvisuanddumetoo​

ANY UNIVERSE

A framed portrait of a smiling Tony, drawn and signed by Steve - @hundredthousands

Steve steals his husband’s helmet and gives his king a springtime crown - @starksnack

AU

Tin soldier Steve and ballerina Tony dancing - @jarvisuanddumetoo

BATTLEWORLD

Steve watching Tony flying in on the battlefield - @thingexplainer

MCU

Old Steve holding flowers and seeing a blue butterfly after Tony’s death - @hundredthousands

So much of life feels like drowning... but when I’m with you my troubles recede like waves on the shore - @jarvisuanddumetoo

Stranger Things AU where Steve is the one who was experimented on in a lab and doesn’t understand pop culture and Tony is the guy with no powers who is still doing his best to fight these weird new aliens - @jarvisuanddumetoo

Steve and a dandelion that represents him weathering all his hardships over the years - @jarvisuanddumetoo

Tony on fire and Steve’s reaction - @jarvisuanddumetoo

Steve crying while holding Tony’s helmet after Tony’s funeral - @noririna

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You’re a hero. - @starksnack

ULTIMATES

Steve and Tony leaving marks on each other’s bodies that are only visible in the dark - @sirsapling Ults Steve and Tony are tragically bound to one another. They can always feel the trace of each others hands, it leaves an invisible mark they will cary with them till there is nothing left. Only a ghost of something lost in the chaos of the past.

FIC

1872

Say My Name - @citsiurtlanu Steve reminds Tony that there's more to him than the war his weapons were used in.

616

Snow Day - @captainneverever The Avengers think that Steve and Tony got engaged at the annual holiday party. It’s news to Steve and Tony.

Kiss me rough before you go - erde Tony is dying. His life is slipping away and Steve wants to be better than this, but he can't quite manage the feat. Tony's war has made a bitter man out of him, a lesser man.

Boys, boys, boys - Missy_dee811 (@viudanegraaa) (AU) Steve keeps putting off his oil change. Finally deciding to see the mechanic in town.

Without the rusty music of my machine - Missy_dee811 (@viudanegraaa)  Tony was lying on the hood of his car. He had taken off his leather jacket, gently folded it in half, and draped it across the windshield so he could rest his arms on the supple leather.

Muddy Waters - RossKL (@but-damn-is-he-lovable) (also on Tumblr) Tony bleeds. It's not real.

ANY

(A Dream is) A Wish Your Heart Makes - @helovedyou Cool evenings together and laughing free and all the nice things Tony never thought he’d get

Afternoon Off - Neverever (@captainneverever) Freedom is just another word for getting with your boyfriend on the downlow during a mission.

BULLET POINTS

Those We Were (For A While) - sadisticsparkle The blueprints hadn’t prepared Tony for the light bouncing off the battered metal, for the empty stare of its empty eye sockets or the dim circle in the middle of the chest. He traced its lines with his gaze, remembering every day he had spent hunched over the schematics picking its inner workings and every night he had spent sprawled under its pilot letting him take Tony apart.

MCU

border state - @areiton (also on Tumblr) They exist in the in between.

star crossed - @areiton (also on Tumblr) "The gods made the stars,” you whisper, a lifetime ago, a heartbeat ago, now, “and they were so bright, so beautiful and strong, that they ripped them in two. And half of ‘em fell to earth, and woke from the dust and walked as men.”

this is how - @areiton (also on Tumblr) This is how the world ends: Gaps in the code.

kiss me hard before you go - duckmoles​ & starxreactor (AU) “I love you, you know that?” Tony says just after popping another grape into Steve’s mouth. He watches as Steve’s jaw works, chewing and then swallowing. Steve smiles up at Tony with a bright, toothy grin. “I love you, too.” “I’m going to miss you,” Tony continues. “I’m going to call you everyday, okay? And—and, during the holidays I’ll show up at your house and we can—we can—sit together on the balcony, and—” The last day of summer, and it's time to hold on to what you might lose.

No Winter Lasts Forever - Fluffypanda (@ayapandagirl) Steve stopped, white breath clouding the air around him, to look at the little shoots of green and purple peeking out from the scant layer of snow left on the ground.

snippet of a post-apocalyptic A/B/O AU WIP - Fluffypanda (@ayapandagirl) Steve’s fingers traced the bite, a half-moon of red marks, from in front of the largest mirror he’d ever seen.

the first blush of morning - Fluffypanda (@ayapandagirl) (AU) The sun rises on the Atlantic ocean and Steve isn't alone - or is he?

Santa Paws - @heartsandmuses [I]f there were two things the public couldn’t get enough of, it was cute puppies and shirtless Captain America — and Tony, ever the philanthropist, decided to give the people exactly what they wanted, right on Christmas morning.

Philautia - @helovedyou Tony dies and Steve keeps on living. Well. He doesn’t die. Living might be a bit of a generous term

To the Victor - @helovedyou There are rainbows flying and people hugging and others ranting and raving, spittle flying, he thinks this. We have won this, this tiny victory.

Snippet of a WIP set post-IW - @ishipallthings The numbers keep climbing, for hours, in the aftermath.

Shuffle Off This Mortal Coil - jellybeanforest (@jellybeanforest-a-go-go) (also a Cap-IM Bingo 2020 round 1 fic) Tony hadn’t been a cruel man, but he had been a practical one. Or: In his twilight years, concerned about how his slow-aging possibly-immortal husband will adjust to his death, Tony builds an AI version of himself that he updates nightly, intending for it to keep Steve company after he’s gone. When the inevitable comes to pass, Steve doesn’t know what to make of the AI or whether its presence lessens his grief or makes it significantly worse. He’s leaning towards the latter.

Five Bells - @lazywriter7 (also on Tumblr) After returning the Stones, Steve takes a detour through time.

if we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious - @littlemissstark forgiveness. The salty air was intense enough to wake Steve up completely, snapping any left over drowsiness away. He was alert despite the sky still being a shade of navy that tapered into a purple at the sea’s horizon. The world was still dormant, but Steve couldn’t stay asleep – not when he woke to coldness on the right side of the bed and empty arms.

In My Hands and Gone Again - @nostalgicatsea (also on Tumblr) Memories were like fish, Tony had explained, or the tease of one. A flash of silver, and his hands would plunge down. Sometimes he would catch one; other times, it would dart out of reach. He wouldn’t be sure whether it had been real or just a trick of the light, after.

Leaving You Forward - @nostalgicatsea (AU) It would be easy, staying here like this with Tony. But Steve knew he couldn't—because he had never taken the easy way out and because he loved Tony.

i choose: me, you, us - @onlymorelove (also a Cap-IM Remix Madness 2020 fic) “We, uh. We’ve been together five years, and you’ve never— I’ve never let you see it. I told you I’d let you see it on our wedding night.” In which Tony and Steve marry, but Tony hasn't let Steve see the arc reactor—and the scars around it. Yet.

best of summers gone - rosycheeked (@lovelyisthedawn) Tony's favorite month has always been August.

when we all fall asleep - rosycheeked (@lovelyisthedawn) Tony wakes up and questions why Steve loves him. It's a surprisingly complex question for such a simple answer.

you anchor me (back down) - rosycheeked (@lovelyisthedawn) Steve still loves Tony, no matter what mask he’s wearing. He’ll never tell Tony that, though. He’s read enough books and watched enough movies to know that it only ends well when it’s just a story. Or, everyone needs an anchor sometimes, and Steve and Tony just happen to be each others’.

take me to the feeling - smalltonystark (@theotherwasdeath​) Steve looks gorgeous in the lights. He always looks stunning, but here, late at night, in the faint glow from the streetlamps underneath them and underneath the stars, he looks magnificent.

POETRY

A Toast to Cold, Hard Facts - @onlymorelove (also on Tumblr) The world is brutal and coarse, but...

Love was fading stars - @onlymorelove (also on AO3) Blackout poetry based on “Failing and Flying” by Jack Gilbert on top of an original print.

not married - @onlymorelove (also on Tumblr) Grief works in mysterious ways.

[moriavis]

My first prompt to you! Um um okay -thinks- OH, uh, if you'd like, Coldflash, biker gang!au? 50s, modern, or futuristic! Up to you ^-^ Maybe they're in opposing gangs and form an alliance? Maybe Barry's their science guy who Len takes an interest in? Maybe Barry's a new meta that the Rogues gang take an interest in recruiting? -flails- I dunnoooo >.

Ha. Ha. OMG, so this has apparently been sitting in my askbox for two years I’M SO SORRY.

Do I have more prompts that are two years or older? Yes. Yes, I do. I’m trying, guys.

For now, I hope you all enjoy this one! Welcome to a No Powers AU where motorcycles are only mentioned sparingly, and everything is PG. ^^; (Also on AO3)

~*~

Everyone in Central City knew to leave the Rogues out of the races. They were intense, unpredictable, and you were more likely to crash your bike trying to avoid their stunts than lose the pink slip fair and square. They brought too much attention to the scene. 

Even Cisco agreed, and he was so into Lisa that aliens could see it from space.

Despite the unanimous exclusion, Barry wasn't entirely surprised when the Rogues showed up at the Friday races anyway. "Told you they wouldn't stick to the ban," Oliver murmured.

Barry shrugged. "The Lian Yu team didn't like it either, but they learned." 

He folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side as he counted them. Lisa, of course, with an uncustomary sulk on her narrow, gorgeous face; Mardon, easily recognizable with his visor popped up; Rosa Dillon, popping gum loudly as she inspected her nails.

Sara swaggered up to Barry and stood at Oliver's side. "You want me to take care of them?"

Barry shook his head. "No. They're a Central group. They'd be offended if outsiders read them the rulesheet."

Sara snorted and rolled her eyes. "Territorial bastards, all of you."

Barry laughed and ran his hand through his hair. "We're not all that bad. Square up. We're doing this the right way." 

The three of them gathered together in a triangle, and Sara said, "On three. One. Two. Three."

Oliver beat Barry's paper with scissors, and Barry scowled good-naturedly as he turned to Sara for the second round and lost again, rock to paper.

"Cheer up, kiddo," Sara said, reaching up on tiptoes to ruffle Barry's hair. "They wouldn't have wanted us to be the ones to send them away."

Barry sighed and turned to the Rogues, who—bizarrely—had stayed back patiently, as if they were waiting for someone.

Barry straightened his shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked toward Lisa. "We don't want any trouble with you."

"If it were up to me, we wouldn't be here." Lisa folded her arms over her chest, her glare intensifying.

Barry folded his arms over his chest. "It's not up to you?"

The sound of an engine cut through the air, and he turned to meet the newcomer—his bike was a gorgeous and sleek Ducati, painted in blues and silvers. Barry was impressed despite himself. Whoever the newcomer was sure had a sense of style.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lisa's scowl morph into an amused grin, and then the new rider kicked the stand down and pulled off their helmet. 

Barry's breath caught in his throat. He was frozen, catapulted instantly back to the past, where he was fifteen and everything he wanted was encapsulated in the man next door who always had motorcycle grease on his hands.

His palms were sweaty. He wasn't even wearing his good jeans, and he was going to kill Lisa.

"Hey, Lenny." Barry's voice was weak and thready, but he didn't even care, butterflies coming to life in his stomach with a surge of nerves. The narrow blue hazel eyes. The smirk. Oh, god, he'd started going silver.

Leonard gave Barry a slow once over, and Barry gravitated a step or two closer. "It's been a minute, kid."

Barry licked his lips, his heart pounding like a drum. "Yeah, it's… I didn't even know you were back."

"Trainwreck's been blowing up my phone over this racing gig you've got going on. Thought I'd come see what the excitement was all about." He got off his bike and dangled his helmet off one of the handlebars before he turned his attention back to Barry. He stepped closer, and his voice was low in a way that sent shivers down Barry's spine when he spoke again. "Maybe you and I can come to an arrangement."

Barry jerked his head to point out Oliver and Sara. "The arrangement has to make sense to them, too."

Leonard shot them a dismissive glance and fastened his attention back on Barry. "Let 'em race. I'll keep them under control, and anyone who gets too frisky is out. Cross my heart." He drew an X over his heart and smiled, the slow curl of his lips leaving Barry reeling.

Without a word, Barry turned on his heel and walked back over to Oliver and Sara. 

"Rawr." Sara arched her eyebrow. "You okay there, Barry? You look like you've been hit by a truck."

"Whatever he said to you, the answer's no." Oliver said, crossing his arms over his chest and glowering past Barry.

Barry gathered himself together with a small shake of his head. "He said that if we let them race, he'll keep them following the rules. He'll take care of anyone who doesn't."

"And you believe him?" Sara asked.

Barry nodded. "Lisa and Len were my neighbors growing up. Lisa's a bit out there, but Len kind of keeps her under control. Mostly."

"Mostly." Oliver frowned. "Yeah, that's exactly what I like to hear about the group that almost got us all arrested."

"I trust him, Ollie," Barry said firmly, narrowing his eyes. "I mean, yeah, chances are Lisa dragged him back to Central because I'm more likely to listen to him, but it'll backfire. She hates being under his thumb."

"That'll be interesting," Sara said, shooting another look toward the Rogues.

"Fine," Oliver spat. "Fine. But only because I trust you." Barry beamed at Oliver, who scowled for good measure and turned back to his bike. 

Now that they all agreed, Barry went back to Len. "Okay. They can rejoin. Keep your promise, or they'll be ejected permanently this time."

Axel whooped, punching Mark's shoulder in excitement, and Lisa shook her head, sauntering up to Len's side. "Guess I should've pulled out the big guns months ago."

Barry pursed his lips as he looked at Lisa, but he couldn't find anything else to say, so he just shook his head. "No funny business this time, okay?"

Lisa smiled another one of her enigmatic smiles, and then turned back to the other Rogues. "We're free to mingle, ladies and gentlemen. Have fun, and remember to behave."

It was going to be a disaster.

Barry sighed softly to himself and headed back to his own bike. It took a second for him to realize that Len was walking along with him. Barry turned just enough to see Len without stopping. "Are you racing?"

"Depends," Len said easily, giving Barry that crooked smile that he loved way too much. "Is the Scarlet Speedster going to be on the track?"

"Ugh, you've heard that one, too?"

Len shrugged. "I like the alliteration."

"Well, the answer is no," Barry said firmly. "Not tonight, at least." He steered them away from the noise of the crowd as the races began in earnest, and stole another look. "How long are you staying?"

"Haven't decided yet. 'M staying long enough to make Lisa regret asking me to come back." They laughed together at that, and then fell quiet, watching as Shawna won her race against Zari. Len cleared his throat, and Barry startled, embarrassed that he was so hyper aware of Len, even after all these years. "Lisa told me you went to college in Keystone."

"Uh. Yeah. Aced my classes, too."

"Should I be hurt that you didn't visit me?"

Barry rubbed his hand over his face. Fifteen minutes, and Len was already pulling out all the embarrassing feelings he'd had when he was sixteen. His flustered, agitated longing. He stole another look at Len and promptly flushed when he realized Len was looking at him. 

"You know why," he whispered. "You know why I didn't visit."

Len stared at Barry for another long minute, and then nodded once, short and sharp. "Okay."

"Okay," Barry echoed, although he didn't really know what okay was in this context. "Great. It's been nice seeing you again."

"Are you still living with the Wests?"

Barry startled again and fought the urge to just throw up his hands and walk away. This was stupid. He was stupid. He was supposed to be done with this a decade ago, and it was freaking impossible, how Leonard Snart just breezed into his life and made him a skittish teenager all over again. "No, I've… I've got my own place."

Len nodded again, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "Do you remember the stink eye Joe used to give Lisa when I brought her over to play with you and Iris?"

"No," Barry said honestly. "Joe was never the one I was looking at."

Len swallowed and looked down at his feet. "Barry, I—"

"Can we just—not do this now?" Barry interrupted, running his hand through his hair as he looked away, toward the next race that was setting up. "I'm embarrassed and we're in public, and I don't want to talk about anything tonight."

"Okay," Len agreed, and Barry was grateful that he could at least follow the flow of his thoughts this time. "Give me your address, and I'll come around. Wednesday, maybe?"

Something blue-screened in Barry's head, and he heard himself say, "Sure. Bring dinner. Pizza or something."

Leonard shot him a cautious—almost grateful?—look and nodded. "I can do that. Wednesday, then."

There was a low droning in Barry's ears as he held out his hand for Len's cell and accessed his contacts. It grew into static when Barry realized Len still had his old number programmed, and he wondered with a brief flash of alarm if he was just going to have a panic attack right here.

Somehow, shockingly, he managed to give Len his phone back and then walked away, toward the other side of the long stretch of road they currently occupied, all like he was a perfectly normal person who knew where his body was. Someone handed him a beer, and he twisted the top off, staring at Len from a distance. His focus was intent on the current race, and Barry struggled to take a calm breath.

"He could pick me up without breaking a sweat," he breathed.

"You better believe it," Lisa said with a laugh, and Barry jolted back to himself in surprise. "You're still a beanpole, honey."

"I can't believe you told him to come back, Lise. He should've had nothing to do with this."

Lisa pouted, twirling her long, dark hair around her finger. "Can't a girl feel bad? It's an apology."

Barry turned to face her, a frown pulling at his mouth. "It's a fucking mind game, and I don't appreciate it."

Lisa dropped the pout. "Maybe I want you guys to be happy together. Ever think of that?"

Barry raked his hand through his hair. "If you brought him back just for me, I'd say you're crueler than I thought you were."

Lisa raised her hand to his shoulder, pausing when he shrugged her off before she even touched him. "Barr, listen—"

"I'm fresh out of ears tonight," Barry admitted. "I'm going to head home. Just… please. Stop trying to help me, okay?"

Lisa's mouth twisted into another small pout, but she nodded and stepped away.

Barry caught Oliver''s eye and silently let him know he was going, and then he went to his bike, unclipping his helmet and straddling the seat with a surge of relief. There was nothing like being on his Triumph—maybe some time out on the road would help clear his head.

He revved the engine once and spun around to face the road. Another second, and it was just him and his bike and the asphalt beneath his wheels.

No Leonard Snart needed. 

~*~

Come Wednesday, of course, he was a wreck.

Barry woke up too early, a headache pounding in his temples and a message from STAR Labs about one of the laboratory samples he'd processed the day before. Running into work at least shifted his anxiety from Len into a more tolerable work anxiety, and he was able to focus on the lab's backlog of testing samples.

Around six, he got his first text from Len, a simple: Name the time and your pizza toppings.

He needed time to get home and take a shower, and he was about to ask for pepperoni when it occurred to him that it was pork. 8pm and a veggie lovers?

You remembered. :)

Barry took a deep breath and pressed the phone to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. That little smiley face was going to end him. 

Of course. See u later.

Concentration thoroughly shot, Barry turned to some paperwork that needed to be filed and used the rest of his shift to get caught up. He skipped out a little early so he could take a shower before Len came over, and then burned some of his restless energy by picking up around his apartment.

At 8pm exactly, there was a knock on the door. Barry counted to five so he didn't seem so eager, and then answered it. Len was dressed down, in dark jeans and one of those moisture-wick long-sleeved shirts, and a chill of sheer want raced down Barry's spine. Just as Len promised, he was balancing a pizza box and a six pack of beer in his hands.

"Hey," Barry said, like he wasn't falling apart at the seams just from seeing Len again.

"Hey." The corner of Len's mouth curled, and Barry stepped aside to let him in.

"I'll get plates," he said unnecessarily, and he stole a minute to get himself under control as he got plates and napkins. "Get it together, Barry. You can spend one night catching up with him."

Hardly satisfied, Barry grabbed everything and headed back into the living room.

The first few minutes were quiet as they got their food and drinks and started in. Barry was trying to avoid looking at Len without looking like he was trying to avoid looking at Len, and he wasn't entirely sure how successful he was.

After two slices of pizza were eaten in the awkward silence, Len cleared his throat. "What is it that the Central City Citizens do?"

Barry grinned, relaxing against the couch as Len brought up a safe topic. "We do coast to coast drives, some charity. I really want to become a local chapter of BACA, but we have to ride with them for a year before they'll consider us."

Something in Len's face lightened as Barry talked, and he looked down at his plate, fiddling with a bit of leftover crust. "So you don't participate in turf wars."

Barry rolled his eyes. "Len. Of course I don't. We have a zero tolerance policy on drug running and murder. The Rogues even mostly agreed. The races we have aren't exactly legal, although it's a good way to blow off steam and kind of have fun together."

Len nodded, setting his plate on the coffee table and turning his full attention back on Barry. "What got them pushed to the sidelines?"

Barry set his plate down and mirrored Len's position, resting his arm on the armrest of the couch as he curled his foot beneath him. "They're thieves and sometimes they make bad decisions that reflect on the rest of us. Mark and Axel decided to rob a bank and go on a high speed joy ride. Got the attention of the CCPD, and then led them almost directly to the rest of us."

Len frowned. "Looks like they aren't serving any time."

Barry shook his head. "Lise has contacts with some lawyers around town. She got it thrown out of court on a technicality. Which, fine, I don't have any hard feelings. But I will stop their behavior from jeopardizing the rest of us."

Len smiled again and nodded in agreement. "I'm proud of you, kid."

"I'm not a kid," Barry said fiercely, meeting Len's eyes. "And I didn't do it for you."

"Touche." Len cocked his head, turning on the laser-focus that Barry had sometimes envied when it wasn't directly pointed at him. "How are you, Barry?"

"I'm fine." Barry met Len's gaze straight on—he wasn't a child anymore, and he wasn't afraid of looking at someone just because he was attracted to them. "Iris is a reporter now. Lisa still comes over for Sunday dinner at the West house. You're the one who left."

"I didn't leave because of you—"

"It sure felt like it!" And there it was, the hurt and embarrassment bubbling to the surface like a lanced wound, the way it always did when he thought of Leonard. "I told you how I felt, and you were practically gone in a week."

Len sighed. "It was bad timing, but I can't say I was sorry about the way things worked out. You were sixteen. What was I supposed to do?"

Barry bolted to his feet. "I love you!" The words dropped like stones between them, leaving ripples of shock in their wake. "Loved." Barry's voice cracked, and he desperately hoped that lightning would just strike him dead where he stood. "I loved you. You could have at least said goodbye. I'd earned that, at least."

Len looked away from Barry, staring at the carpet with a distant, thoughtful look in his eye. "You're right. You did. I'm not perfect, Barry. Sometimes people just screw up."

Barry sighed and turned away from Len, crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought I was over it. That I was over you. And you just waltz back in and turn me inside out like it's nothing."

"It's not nothing." The couch creaked as Len stood, and he took hold of Barry's elbow, turning him around with a gentle touch. His eyes were so dark. 

Barry swallowed and struggled to find his courage. "Don't look at me like that. Not unless you're going to do something about it."

Len stared at Barry and raised his hand, brushing his fingertips against Barry's cheek. It sent shivers racing down his neck, goosebumps rising against his skin. "You're always so impatient."

"I know," Barry admitted. "It's something I've been trying to work on." His fingers twitched at his side. "And maybe there's nothing between us. Maybe it's all been built up in my head for so long that real life can't possibly match up—"

Len pressed his fingers to Barry's mouth, halting the flow of words. "I'm going to kiss you now, if that's okay."

Barry responded by stepping into Len's space, curling his fingers around Len's shoulders and pulling him in. It shouldn't have been good—their lips met a little off center, and Len tasted like pizza and beer, but then Len's hand settled into a solid weight against the small of Barry's back, drawing him in, and the heat of Len's body soaked into Barry in a way that made him want to melt.

Len pulled away first, and Barry licked his lips, dropping his head to Len's shoulder in defeat. "Shit," he said wretchedly.

"What?" Len asked, cupping his hand over Barry's nape and stroking the sensitive skin with his thumb.

"I'm so into you," Barry confessed, and he startled when Len began to laugh.

"Really?" Len's voice was rich with warmth and surprise. "When were you going to tell me? I had no idea."

"I can't believe you're mocking me!" Barry protested, raising his head to glare at Len, who pulled him in and pressed a gentle kiss to Barry's jaw that made him melt again. "You're not fair." He turned his face to try to steal another kiss, and paused. "We can't tell Lisa about this."

"We'll play it cool," Len agreed. "It'll drive her crazy."

Barry stepped away and looked earnestly at Len. "I'll slow down. I'll wait until you're comfortable."

Len averted his eyes, his gaze skittering over the coffee table. "I ain't Grandma Esther's china, Barry."

Barry laughed, soft and embarrassed. "Okay. I take your point. Let me put it this way instead. The Diamonds are playing against the Starlings tonight. Do you want to stay and watch?"

Len smiled, so fast Barry would've missed it if he hadn't been watching like a hawk, and nodded. "Sounds good."

"Just so you know," Barry said as they settled back against the sofa and he turned the TV on, "they're going to get absolutely dusted."

Len shot him a glower. "Those are fighting words. You wanna go?"

Barry smiled until Len turned his attention toward the game. A warm, fizzy sort of hope bubbled in his chest. Maybe this time, he'd be lucky.

~*~

[deitiesofduat]

BASTET: “As it turns out, the project has been due for this type of update for some time -- which the artist @tenicola​ (aka @teninini, colacanvas, and "Teni") finally got around to, after having enough headspace to approach it. 

“And just to avoid worrying anyone seeing this -- nope, Teni is not dropping DEITIES project anytime soon. She's not going anywhere, and neither am I! Or the rest of my pantheon! 

“But Teni mentioned she was worried about projecting that outcome, due to how inactive she's been online, and how quiet she's been about progress. She's hoping this update can add some clarity on what's actually going on, and what to expect going forward.”

“The rest of this update is below the cut, as text mixed with panels. It's on the long-ish side, and while it's best to skim through everything for context, you can also skip to the section "SHIFT IN [PUBLIC] SCOPE" if you just want to get to the point.

“Without further ago, let's start with some history that Teni wanted to share for full context -- again, under the cut!”

--------------------------------------------------

[ HISTORY OF DEITIES PROJECT ]

BASTET: “DEITIES Project -- and the main story for said project (Deities of Duat: The Chaos Seal), which is intended as a long form webcomic -- has been in development, privately and offline, since late 2014. Teni meant to keep it private for as long as possible, until she felt “ready” to share it.

“However, she was motivated to take the plunge and reveal the project's existence with these color tests and with this comic, as part of her coursework for her visual storytelling class. You know the one…”

“The surge of encouragement from both her classmates and her followers motivated Teni to create this blog -- the one you're visiting right now! It was Teni's full intention to use this blog to share progress on the main story, as a full-length webcomic, while building and engaging her audience.”

“However, along the way were a few... unforeseen obstacles that reared their head. Some obstacles were mitigated by making steady updates to the story and blog, but some were much more challenging, and she thinks it only fair to disclose some of them for context...”

--------------------------------------------------

[ OBSTACLES OF LIFE ]

BASTET: “The first obstacle was the sudden onset of chronic lower back pain -- just before the launch of the DEITIES blog in 2016. She still has it to this day, and says this ache makes it unbearable to sit or stand in the same position for too long. Among several inconveniences this causes, it also means she can only draw in short bursts before her stamina taps out, or before needing pain relief -- like heat, ice, and pressure.”

“As you might imagine, it's not the most fun condition to have when you enjoy drawing! And it's taken a while for Teni to cope with this daily frustration. She's still planning to find answers and a treatment to help reduce it, but has also accepted that she's been dealt this hand -- not unlike other creatives that deal with some form of chronic pain.”

“The back pain was one obstacle, but having to deal with different interpersonal struggles and friction was another. Some spiked her usual feelings of anxiety, and in one relationship's case, made her question whether or not the project was worth continuing. (On that note -- Teni does not want to call out anyone or guilt them, she just wanted to bring it up as a factor for the larger point she's making — just bear with us!)

“The third big obstacle a few years back, was having a day job that had an... ‘unfriendly’ work environment, and was paying a lot less income than she fairly deserved. And near the beginning of 2018, she was laid off from said job, putting a halt to any income she was earning only a week after signing the lease to her first apartment!”

“Teni didn't go into detail about those months of job hunting and taking tech classes, though she explains bits of it in previous updates. But the lack of financial stability at the time hung over her head constantly. The way she put it was: ‘It was hard to motivate myself to indulge in something I loved, but that didn't provide income, while I was in the middle of an extended job hunt.’"

“She didn't expect all these obstacles in succession when she launched the project. And she admits that she felt a combination of frustration, impatience, and disappointment for not updating the project at the same pace she started.”

“This was not because of any pressure from followers -- she told me you all have been incredibly understanding and patient! It was because of the fact that the project had been publicly promoted for so long, and she set her own expectations and goals so high -- without factoring the likelihood of life getting in the way. There was also the lingering fear of disappointing a lot of people, if one day she had no choice but to stop the project for her own livelihood and health.”

“Ah, why am I adding to this creative angst -- Teni didn't want this to be a sob story! I'll move on haha.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ IN A BETTER PLACE ]

BASTET: “Thankfully, in spite of all those obstacles, things are turning around for Teni in this new decade. A year ago she found a job with a feasible income to support herself, and an overall healthy work environment within her team. She's also fostered healthier relationships with her family and friends, and even made closer connections with the best friends she's had for ages!”

“And while her back pain is… still there, it's a manageable part of life that she's still determined to find answers for and improve.

“Not to mention that in the past year, she's been able to work on other projects, more quietly, and indulge in drawing other characters and fanart for fun. She's consumed more of her favorite media in the interim as well to support others, and to sate her own curiosity and interests.”

“Moving on to how this relates to this update, now that we have some backdrop for what's been happening...”

--------------------------------------------------

[ AREAS OF INTEREST ]

BASTET: “Again, Teni is not dropping DEITIES Project -- she admits the fear of having to make that call had crossed her mind, but it's not something she thinks she'll need to reconsider right now. Her bigger concern has been how to approach this project publicly, moving forward. And after giving it some thought, she's made some observations that may shed light on this answer.

“Teni wanted me to emphasize the idea of her doing a ‘reset’ for the public presentation and development of DEITIES Project -- not to change or hide the development thus far, but to reframe the project's scope -- what it's focus and goals are, more or less.

“...Oh-- looks like she made some visuals to help with this -- you two mind lending me a hand?”

“You all might have figured it out by now, but Teni absolutely loves drawing character art and designs. She also likes panel-style comics, as well as the dialogue, expressions, and SFX that comes with it. She can work on them offline without prompting, but she also loves sharing what she comes up with!

“What she's less fond of sharing is some of the other... *ahem* unmentionables and time-consuming work that comes with traditional comics. Things that take hours to set up and hours to practice, let alone execute for the final product -- an unfortunate hurdle when you're a one-person production team, and you can only draw in small bursts at a time.”

“She initially tried to put off the more indulgent art that she liked, in order to focus the less-favored obligations... but she realized that this just made her feel demotivated to work on anything, and less got completed as a result.”

“Overall, Teni's coming to terms with both her own limitations and her personal drive, and wants to shift her priorities accordingly for the project -- even if it goes against the grain of what's considered ‘good’  or well-meaning advice for a personal project.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ SHIFT IN [PUBLIC] SCOPE ]

BASTET: “Instead of treating the DEITIES main story/comic as the ‘end game’ goal of this project -- and pouring all her available energy in preparing for it and hyping it up -- Teni wants to shift the main story as a future, and more private ambition, until she's in a better place to execute it and share it publicly.

“No, she does not have any estimate or TBD date for when this will be, or when she'll make public updates on it’s progress or launch. It may even remain private indefinitely. And for now, she's okay with this.

“Because (1) The main story "The Chaos Seal" is not the only story that's worth telling from this project. Smaller side- and backstories, and even small character interactions, have their merit as well -- something Teni learned from drawing askbox responses, completing memes with the cast, and character exploration with friends. And with the main story not sucking up all the oxygen, she thinks it'll leave room to tackle the others more easily -- whether they're planned ahead of time or are spur-of-the-moment, and as comics or different formats.

“(2) Removing the DEITIES main story from its public pedestal will also allow her to work on other non-DEITIES things as they crop up -- and with less irrational guilt to indulge in things that aren't ‘priority’ for completing the comic. Meaning more art of her original characters, fanart, giftart, collabs, memes and bandwagons, and other smaller projects. Heck, she might even give herself permission to relax.

“And (3), perhaps most importantly -- Teni realized that DEITIES Project shouldn’t have to start and end with the so-called main story, and placing the story aside wouldn’t mean the project suddenly becomes a waste of time -- as she originally worried about projecting when her life took a twist.

“DEITIES Project just… is. It already exists, and the characters and world already exist -- with or without a completed webcomic to validate that existence.”

“But anyway, I side-tracked. The point is, Teni's planning to shift DEITIES project to just that -- a project, with room to continually grow, explore, and experiment with, and to engage with others as she feels comfortable, without the pressure of having a giant epic to tell.

“So while the main story and comic is going to shift to something more gradual and private -- the way it was originally meant to be -- this shift in scope will help adjust the project’s longevity, and also set the stage for some changes to be made around the blog, and for the public presentation for DEITIES.” 

“However, that content will be less scheduled and remain sporadic -- things will ‘happen when they happen,’ but what Teni has in mind will hopefully be enjoyable for those following the project.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ WHAT'S NEXT-- ]

BASTET: “Here’s the thing: we actually had more to share, but Teni made the call to save it all for another day -- to avoid making this update longer than needed, and to also avoid announcing any plans prematurely. No need to risk building pressure all over again or burning out, right?

“She asks for everyone’s patience and to give her another few weeks to re-calibrate things, address pressing questions, and work on some overdue housekeeping on the blog -- and to just draw whatever pops to her mind, cuz hey, why not? After that, she'll wait until any project items are already in the works and on the road to completion, before she announces that they're coming -- an ‘under-promise but over-deliver’ approach.

“But one thing you can look forward to are more featured deities from the main cast and the supporting cast -- including those colors tests she's been working on since last year, and then some! There's no shortage of inspiration or fodder, so to speak.”

--------------------------------------------------

[ IN CONCLUSION ]

BASTET: “So to recap! DEITIES Project will be shifting its scope and priorities, so that the main story and comic is developed more privately, and more characters and lore will be explored online at a more manageable pace. On the surface, that may not look like much is changing, but hopefully this update can make expectations more clear.

“Teni knows that there may be some in the audience who may feel down about this decision, or who were looking forward to the webcomic to be completed above all else. She says that's totally fair, and encourages anyone looking for stories to check out her recommendations. But she also hopes you'll understand, and be willing to stick around for other content in the meantime.”

"That brings Teni -- and me -- to one final point. Which is to sincerely thank you for all of your support, encouragement, and patience these past few years. In addition to things that are still in the works, there's a lot of content on this blog that had been inspired by everyone's engagement, which we can't thank you enough for!

“Teni and I, and everyone else from the pantheon, are excited about what’s next for Deities of Duat and DEITIES Project. And we’re looking forward to sharing more content, more freely, in the upcoming year for you all to enjoy.”

[bowsie22]

Geralt/Jaskier Collection

Summary: Geralt did not expect Amortentia potion to help him get a date. Well, Amortentia and Yennefer.

“So, you excited?”

“For potions? With Professor De Vries?”

Yennefer laughed at Geralt’s deadpan delivery.

“She’s the best potions master of her generation and you complain?”

“She hates me. Has ever since we broke up.”

“Well, she is my adopted mother. Of course she’s going to be protective.”

“Mm. Any idea what we’re doing?”

“Amortentia. I can’t wait. I have no idea who I’ll smell.”

“With your record? It could be anyone.”

Yennefer slapped Geralt’s arm, faking annoyance.

“I am not apologising for falling in love.”

“Love, sure. We should go now if we don’t want to be late.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five minutes they walked into the potions classroom, Yennefer laughing, Geralt growling at her to shut up.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But whenever you see that Hufflepuff, you always become so, so stupid. I can’t believe you walked into a wall and fell down the stairs. But hey, at least you got his attention, huh?”

Glaring at her, Geralt stormed off to sit with the other Gryffindors. Still laughing, Yennefer sat with the Ravenclaws. That poor boy. Still so sure that all he felt was a stupid little crush that would go away in a few months. His crush had lasted for three years. Thankfully, Yennefer managed to talk her mother into a lesson Amortentia. Let’s see Geralt call it a crush after this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the class cleaned up, Yennefer sidled up to Geralt, peering into his cauldron.

“So, what did yours smell like? Mine smelt of roses, herbs and the greenhouses.”

“Triss?”

“I think so. She does spend a lot of time there. What about you?”

Geralt glared into his potion, eyebrows twitching.

“Parchment, wood, polish.”

“You mean like someone who likes to write, spends a lot of time around something wooden, like an instrument and polishes something, like a horn?”

“Mm.”

“I knew it was more than a crush! I knew it. So, when are you going to tell Jaskier he’s the love of your life?”

Geralt left the room, ignoring his friend.

“Ok, don’t worry. Leave it to me! I’ll sort everything, like always.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geralt hated when Yennefer wanted an adventure. That normally meant a jaunt around the castle after curfew and Geralt having to plan something to save them from detention. But the library was odd, Yennefer never wanted to meet here. The hallway was too open. She was planning something, but what?

“Hello? Yen?”

Oh no. She hadn’t! Taking a deep breath, Geralt tried to calm himself. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Jaskier off. The younger boy was like a rabbit. Played brave but ran when things got too dangerous. Which was pretty easy to do.

“Hello? Oh, Geralt. Um, oh. Hi?”

He was adorable. Red cheeked, unable to meet the taller boy’s eyes.

“Jaskier. Yennefer ask to meet you here?”

“We meet up a few times a week for a midnight snack. Were you two supposed to meet?”

“Mm.”

Jaskier hummed, swaying from side to side.

“So, Yennefer mentioned something about Potions class to me at lunchtime?”

Geralt swore, cursing his decision to eat lunch with Ciri.

“Yeah, we made Amortentia. Her one smelt like Triss.”

Jaskier laughed, already knowing how Yennefer felt about the other Hufflepuff. He cleared his throat, looking through his eyelashes at the taller boy.

“And you? What did yours smell like?”

Geralt avoided his eyes, looking at the portraits giggling around them.

“Well, it smelt like. Like you.”

Jaskier squeaked, which Geralt really should not find so adorable. He had a reputation to uphold.

“Me? Really? Like, really really like me?”

“Mm.”

Geralt finally looked at Jaskier. The Hufflepuff was giggling to himself, cheeks redder than Geralt had ever seen.

“You’re happy about this?”

“Of course I am! Sweet Merlin Geralt, I’ve had a crush on you since second year. For three years I thought I never stood a chance. All you ever seemed to do was growl at me and talk to me in monosyllables. If not for Yennefer, I probably would have stopped hanging out with you years ago.”

“I get nervous.”

“Well, you’d better have those nerves in check for our first date tomorrow. We’re going to Hogsmeade together and we’re going to have a drink at the Three Broomsticks. So, so be ready Geralt. And I will see you then.”

Jaskier ran, heading for the Hufflepuff common room. Geralt could hear him laugh as he ran down the corridor. Laughing softly to himself, the Gryffindor headed back to the tower. He had a date to prepare for.

A/N I am basing these characters off the Netflix show. And I think Yennefer and Jaskier could be great friends given the chance! Drop a prompt into the comments or askbox on Tumblr.

[imsvg]

sea breeze

Fandom: Love Live! Sunshine!! Pairing: KanaRiko (Kanan/Riko) Words: 1280 Summary: In which Riko and Kanan relax together for the first time in a long while. Links: FF is here! AO3 is here!

hi it's been a while. i recommend listening to seabreeze by nozomu takahashi to set the scene (the title itself is in japanese).

please enjoy.

"Hello, sorry to intru—K-Kanan?"

Kanan raises her head from the small coffee table she had been resting her chin on. Riko sees beads of sweat collecting on her brow, blue baby hairs sticking to her forehead despite the small fan blowing into her face. Her cheeks are red due to the heat, but despite her unflattering and sweaty appearance, Kanan still wears a smile when she sees Riko standing in the doorway.

"Oh, you're here!" Kanan rises from her spot on the floor. She pads along to where Riko is, her bare feet making little noise against the warm floorboards. "I'm surprised that you rode the ferry by yourself," Kanan says with a laugh.

Riko feels her flushed cheeks rising in heat. "Wh-what's that supposed to mean?!"

Kanan laughs again and shakes her head. "Nothing, nothing. C'mon, sit!"

She wraps her hand around Riko's wrist and pulls her toward the coffee table. Riko awkwardly sits down, and folds her legs underneath her. Kanan takes her place next to her, propping her elbow on the table, and places her cheek on her open palm. Her smile is still playing on her lips, and her ponytail blows in the gentle breeze the fan creates. Riko always found Kanan incredibly charming (and she's sure that the young woman's fanbase could attest to that as well), but there was something about this particular moment, sitting next to her, hair swaying freely, that draws Riko into her charm even more.

"It's been awhile since we spoke, just the two of us," Kanan says. "What's been new with you?"

"Mm, nothing much, I suppose. I mean, it's summer break now, and the school year just started for us."

Kanan nods and hums in understanding. "You're graduating this year, right? Or hopefully, at least?"

Riko's face flushes indignantly. "Wh-what's that supposed to mean?"

Kanan's laughter fills the room as she shakes her head. "Nothing, I'm just playing around with you. I know you're smart." She reaches over and pets Riko on the head. There is a certain gentleness behind the gesture, one that makes Riko melt. She hears Kanan exhale in amusement, and Kanan's fingers begin to run themselves through Riko's bangs. Riko's blush rushes from her cheeks to her ears, sizzling them with heat.

"Have you decided what you wanted to do?" Kanan asks, taking her hand back. Riko finds that she misses the physical attention, but quickly pushes the thought aside.

"I'm going to be studying musical performance, specializing in piano."

Kanan nods understandingly. "Makes sense." She pauses before breaking out into a grin. "I can see you performing onstage quite easily."

"It's not like I've done it before," Riko says with a chuckle. "And right beside you, nonetheless."

"Oh, I knew that." Kanan waves her hand, as if dismissing the entire conversation, but Riko manages to catch the pink tint of embarrassment coloring her cheeks.

"By the way," Kanan begins, "where's Chika and You?"

"They mentioned something about looking up courses for college? Chika texted me while I was on the boat that they'll be here in about an hour so that we can all go diving."

"Yeah?" Kanan chuckles, nostalgia lighting her face. "That'll be fun."

"Oh, and You said she wanted some salted fish."

"Now she wants some? I thought she hated it." Kanan laughs as she stands. She throws a "Be back in a sec," over her shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen.

Riko waits patiently. The drone of the fan is loud, but Riko still picks up on the faint cry of seagulls and the crashing of the waves against the dock. A breeze slips in through the open door, carrying with it the scent of sea salt. Wisps of clouds drift past, the sun shining in a sky that is undoubtful of its blue. It reminds Riko of the countless days she spent at the beach with Aqours. The warm feeling of nostalgia fills her chest and she smiles.

Today is a beautiful day.

"Here you go."

Riko looks up and sees Kanan holding out something wrapped in aluminum foil. Riko wrinkles her nose at the fishy odor, but takes it anyways.

"Oh, I got a little something for you."

Riko watches as a plate of palm-sized mochi is placed in front of her. She says her thanks, and reaches out for one. She's confused when a chill kisses her fingertips when she picks one up, but quickly finds her answer when she bites down. The familiar taste of matcha ice cream makes her eyes widen with delight.

"I'm guessing you like it?" Kanan asks with a laugh, taking a piece of her own.

Riko finishes the rest of her dessert before speaking. "Where'd you get these?"

"Dia brought them from America. She's been obsessed with them, and gave Mari and I so many packages that it would last each of us more than a year."

"I never knew Dia had a sweet tooth."

"You have no idea."

The both of them finish the desserts in silence. Just by having Kanan by her side, Riko notices, is enough to fill the silence between the both of them. Even after they finished their food some minutes ago, Riko is content with basking in this moment with Kanan. She rests her chin on the small table, allowing the small fan in front of her to blow air in her face and muss up her bangs. She allows herself to close her eyes and take a deep breath, catching the scent of the sea mixing in with Kanan's.

Riko honestly can't remember the last time she was this relaxed.

"Tired?"

Riko opens her eyes and turns her head to the side. Kanan is looking at her, smooshing her cheek against the table as she rests her head. Even though her face is still flushed from the heat and her bangs still cling to her forehead, Kanan's eyes sparkle like the ocean. Riko finds herself drowning in them, her breath hitching in her throat, and when she notices the tiniest of smiles playing on her lips, Riko forgets how to function.

I wonder if her lips taste like matcha.

Riko's cheeks sizzle at the thought and she shoves it aside. She quickly turns to face the other way, shocked at herself.

"J-just a little," she forces out, trying to ignore the crack in her voice. "I-I haven't been sleeping well."

Kanan hums, falling for the lame lie. "Must be the heat."

"Y-yeah…."

"Let's take a nap, then, hm?" Kanan tries to fight back a yawn. "You and Chika will wake us up when they get here."

Riko sits up and turns her head. "Wait, right now—"

But her words die on her tongue when she sees that Kanan's eyes are already closed. Her back falls and rises in an easy rhythm, akin to the ebb and flow of the waves. Riko stares, baffled, but ultimately decides to rest her head again on the table. She observes Kanan's features again, wondering how such sharp eyes can simultaneously be so soft, how such strong arms can be so gentle, and how such grace can turn into princely charm in an instant.

Riko finally decides to close her eyes. A part of her knows that she will wake up with a sore neck, but if it meant to spend more time with Kanan, then so be it.

As fatigue slowly pulls Riko into its embrace, she notices a faint warmth curling itself around her little finger. Riko returns the gesture. She can feel Kanan's heartbeat through their contact, and it's enough for her to crack the smallest of smiles.

Today is certainly a beautiful day.

writing this was honestly a struggle, but im glad that i managed to finish this piece at least, aha. i apologize for the lack of activity, but the last stretch of high school got in the way, and now i'm making my way through my first year of college this fall. im really nervous, lmao, but i thought that writing something casual would be nice. i've been wanting on making a graduation fic or the like with a pairing, but i've been struggling with that too. if you have any ideas or prompts, leave a comment or drop by my askbox on my tumblr.

thanks for the support and the reads throughout the years. love you guys.

[hamilficsfordays]

A Significant Change in Dynamic (Part Two) (Lin/Reader)

Prompt: A part two to my fic for @hamwriters Write-A-Thon Day 4!

Author’s Note: Arguably more vulnerable than part one. Saying how you feel is fucking hard.

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader

Summary: You’ve been given feedback on your writing by your best friend Lin: he thinks your more provocative scenes could use some work. He’s willing to help, but taking up his offer changes things.

Rating: T for references to Part one, which was rated M. 

Warnings: Vomiting, feelings, mentions of cheating

Words: 1923

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write / Part One

It was the end of December. You and Lin had been in regular contact, but you still hadn’t seen each other since that fateful day two months ago.

You were always one to frequent his twitter, which is why when he tweeted a picture of him at the Public Theatre with Jonathan Groff on the twenty-third, you knew he was home.

Still, you didn’t hear from him. A day passed, then two, then three.

Sure, he had plans to be with family no doubt, but you assumed he’d at least want to see you once.

Your anxiety began to kick in around the twenty-seventh.

Was he intentionally ignoring you? Did he regret doing it? Was he trying to let you down easy by not talking to you?

Did he even want to be friends anymore?

Two more days passed and you were beginning to give up hope. It was when your phone finally rang that day and you saw that it was him calling that you perked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, Lin,” you tried to keep your voice casual as if you hadn’t spent days waiting for his call.

“So how’s London?”

“Actually I’m back in town for the holiday. All of us are.”

“Oh, so you’ve been here for a few days then?” you tried to push the subject.

“No I… I just got here.”

It was a lie and you knew it.

He’d never lied to you before.

You weren’t sure where this conversation was headed, but if he was lying about being there, it wasn’t likely to end well.

“Oh.” was all you could manage.

“Anyway, since I’m only in town for a few days, I wanted to invite you to my family’s New Year’s Eve party.”

That definitely wasn’t what you expected.

“New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah, we get together every year. This year it’s at my sister’s place. You should come. We can catch up.”

“I’d like that.” you smiled. He clearly wanted to talk things out and you found comfort in that fact.

“When I said we, I meant you, me, and Vanessa.” he clarified.

“Right, me too.” you lied.

“So I’ll see you on Saturday at eight. I’ll text you the address.”

You hung up, feeling rather positive considering how well the conversation went. You were a little nervous about seeing both him and Vanessa again, but it seemed like after some time Lin was looking forward to seeing you.

When you arrived at the address given and were greeted by his sister whom you’d met once before, you were quick to discover that Lin had not appeared to inform Vanessa that he invited you.

“Y/N?” There was no attempt to mask her confusion when she saw you come in. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Lin invited me.”

She nodded slowly. “He never mentioned it.”

You could feel your face fall. “He-He didn’t?”

She shook her head. “Not even once. But it’s good to see you.”

You tried not to cringe as she pulled you into an awkward hug, kissing you on the cheek.

When it was over, you spotted Lin on the far side of the room talking to his brother-in-law. He had Sebastian in his arms, and immediately excused himself from the conversation when he saw you.

“Hey, Y/N.” he approached you with a smile. “I haven’t seen you since the day that we—”

“Please don’t—” you interrupted him. “Please don’t finish that sentence.”

An awkward pause followed. Lin hugged you, a physical gesture that you forced yourself to reciprocate.

Another relative called him over.

“I’ll talk to you later.” he smiled as he walked away, headed toward the relative who was calling him.

You took a deep breath. Tonight would be harder than you thought. You made a commitment to yourself to not get roaring drunk no matter how tempted you were.

After a few minutes, you were making small talk with his relatives. An occasional glance from your peripheral vision revealed him constantly looking over at you, regardless of who he was talking to. You tried to ignore him, though it wasn’t easy.

Eventually, you made your way to the couch in front of the TV, sitting by yourself and nursing the cocktail in your hand.

You could see Lin coming your way, Sebastian still in his arms. Your heart started beating faster as he sat on the couch beside you.

“So, Y/N, I feel like I’ve barely seen you all night.”

“Yeah, I um…” you glanced down at your half empty glass. “I’ve been busy bonding with your family I guess.”

You both chuckled. In his lap, Sebastian started to whine, shifting uncomfortably. Lin pulled him closer, kissing the top of his head.

“So what are your plans for the new year?” he asked, moving in closer. “Anything exciting?”

“Well, I have this project I’ve been going crazy over at work that’s supposed to be wrapping up soon that I’m really excited about.”

“Oh really? What is it?”

As you start explaining your work project, Sebastian continued to shift uncomfortably in Lin’s lap. The older man tried to settle him to no avail.

“That sounds incredible. That quickly?” he seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be finished in two weeks.”

He grabbed your hand, surprising you.

“I’m really proud of you.” he said, softly caressing your hand.

Behind him at the far end of the room, Vanessa was glancing at you and Lin. With your hand in his, you suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious.

Just as you were about to pull your hand away, a stream of liquid flew across your dress. It was from Sebastian, who had suddenly gotten very ill and vomited all over you, your dress, and the couch.

Suddenly the whole room was fixated on you. You were stunned silent.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry—” Lin started.

You stood up, still in shock, setting your drink (that now had traces of vomit in it) down on the coffee table.

Vanessa rushed over, taking Sebastian from Lin and following his sister to the nearest bathroom.

Lin was familiar with your emetophobia and knew you were likely struggling to hold it together. He pulled you down the hallway and into the other free bathroom that was attached to the master bedroom.

Your anxiety was becoming overwhelming, still covered in vomit. Lin could sense this and tried to offer help.

“Here, let’s get your dress off.”

“Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you.” You rolled your eyes, trying and failing to reach the zipper on your back.

Lin was taken aback at your words. “Y/N, I am trying to help you. I don’t understand why you’re so upset with me.”

You didn’t respond, still physically overwhelmed. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, which he seemed to notice.

“Here, don’t move.” he unzipped your dress, pulling it off carefully. You removed your bra and underwear on your own, stepping into the shower with him nearby. He turned on the water for you and headed off to put your clothes in the washing machine.

After a few minutes, he returned, sitting on the floor near the shower to wait for you.

There were so many thoughts going through your mind that finally began to process once you had washed the vomit off of yourself.

You took a deep breath and forced yourself to speak.

“What happened before you left was a mistake.”

He looked up at you. “Why?”

“It changed things. It changed a lot of things that shouldn’t have changed. I’m not even sure we’re friends anymore.”

“What are you talking about? Of course, we’re still friends.”

You looked at him for the first time in a while. “Lin, you flew into town on the twenty-third and didn’t even tell me you were here until the twenty-ninth. Then you lied and said you had just gotten here.”

Lin paused. You were right and he couldn’t defend his actions.

For a while he was silent. Finally, he spoke.

“I’m sorry, okay? The thought of seeing you again kind of scared me.”

“Oh sure, that’s comforting.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” he insisted. “I haven’t been able to get that day out of my head since it happened. I didn’t know how much it was going to change things. I would’ve never gone through with it if I knew. I really enjoy having you as a friend, but even I can admit things haven’t been the same since then.”

“They never will be.”

You stepped out of the shower then, Lin wrapping a towel around you.

“I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s killing me because I’m so afraid of hurting anyone.”

“I think it’s a little late for that.” you confessed.

He left to check on your laundry and relocate it from the washer to the dryer. When he returned, you had left the bathroom and were sitting on the bed in the bedroom waiting for him. He sat beside you.

“You need to know that I really care about you. I also really care about V—”

“I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of you leaving her.” you reminded him.

“You’re still my friends. Even though I can’t deny that I have feelings for you, I would never try to step between your marriage. I couldn’t do that to you.”

He nodded slowly.

“So what happens now?” he asked.

“You go back to London until June. Maybe when you do move back here, we can start over.”

“You really think you could forget everything that happened just like that?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think I could forget anything that happened just like I don’t think you could either. But if we want to stay friends, we’re going to have to try.”

To your surprise, he kissed you suddenly. He lingers on your lips for a few moments before you pull back.

“We haven’t started over yet.” he explained.

After a while, Lin and his sister retrieved your clothes from the dryer and got them back to you. You got dressed and headed back out into the living room right before midnight.

As the new year rang in, you were surrounded by people all excited to welcome each other into the new year. Still, you were a stranger to almost everyone there. Across the room, you managed to catch a glimpse of Lin kissing Vanessa. He glanced over at you, smiling and nodding before turning back to another family member.

You weren’t sure what the new year would bring between you and him. The fact that you’d talked things out, however, felt promising.

Still, it was hard to pretend that you had admitted your feelings for him only to have them not be reciprocated.

They left town again on the second, leaving you in New York to your own devices. When he’d texted you confirming that they’d landed safely, you hesitated for a moment before forming a response.

[Only five more months until June.]

[yourlocalyorozuya]

Update plan for Fic Dump 3!(Warning: Looooong im sorry lol)

heyyyy y’all! 

so! i posted a thing yesterday regarding the way im going to post fics now: you can read it here but basically long story short: life sucks, writing sucks harder so ive started planning to write a lot of fics at a time and update all of them, instead of just going for months and then like updating. one thing.

Now the first two fic dumps are here and here! But the third fic dump may take a while, so i kinda wanted to outline what ive got planned for it right here cause its a doozy oh boi

so here we go! all the fics, plus their names(which are honestly so uncreative im probs gonna change them later...if i give a fuck) and summaries(also subject to change cause all of em are in really early draft stages cause i suck)!

((this is also if you want to drop me a line and go bitch update that one fic up right now DONT MAKE US WAIT YOU TEASE. or smth. via my askbox. you can also always make requests there too! anything goes, nsfw or not, any pairing, like anything goes as you can clearly see in this lineup lol))

Anyway the fics are under cut but here’s a summary: 

AKESHU: 3 planned

PROMPTIS: 2 planned

ARDYNOCT(ish): 1 planned

HIJIGIN: 1 planned

YAMAHIBI: 2 planned

ABESHIYA: 2 planned, 1 complete

CHROBIN: 2 planned

Summaries under cut!:

AKESHU(Persona 5):

Bedroom Warfare(Rating M+)

‘When did they meet? 

Akechi didn't know. Because he didn't remember.

Had it been a bad day? A good one? A normal one where he'd just wanted to relax and unwind for once?

So much for that.  He thinks to himself as he wakes up the next morning with little to no memory of last night. Little to no memory but enough of an inkling as to what happened.’ 

Aka the drunken one-night stand fic where they keep meeting for more one-night stands and try not to think about why. 

With perverted sentimentality:(Rating M)

The tension settles uncomfortably in the back of his neck, his shoulders. Like those taunting eyes, just out of reach.

Unidentifiable, ethereal, his fingers tearing through laughing shadows.

There, again, that fleeting expression in those dark eyes. Staring back at him.

Aka the social link analysis fic plus more kissing+what goes beyond kissing added because im (predictable) trash

With claws, teeth and crooked tongue [Chapter 2]:(Rating M+)

"Tell me."

The monster demanded. What else could I call it?

It was a creature, a monster, from the depths of the darkness under my feet.

The claws around my hand were sharp.

Heavy, red drops of blood fell from my wrist.

Words swirling in my ears, I barely feel that itching burn.

"What do you see?"

Aka the continuation of the demon!akira fic where Sae is tired, Akechi is confused and doesn’t want to admit it and Akira is a little shit. like yknow. in-game.

PROMPTIS(Final Fantasy XV) 

Hey there, Sunshine baby!:(Rating: T+)

By the time his alarm tries(and fails) to wake him up with its lovely opera of wailing rings and by the time his trusty Ignis alarm fills in, with his daily phonecall to rouse a reaction out of him, Noct wakes up to the bleary glare of the electric lights in his still-lit apartment, the mess of sheets and bottles on his bed-

and the extremely attractive and extremely naked man cuddled up next to him, with a leg over Noct’s aching hips and hugging him close. 

“...?!”

So much for that New Year’s resolution.

Aka that time that Noct thought that he had a drunken one-night stand with a very attractive boy(Prompto), but its actually just that same boy being a shapeshifting weredog that Noct rescued from the shelter and its kind of awkward to bring up the fact that he’s a shapeshifting weredog, so he’s now living a secret double life of flirting via human form and cuddles via dog form.

...Where was the problem with that again?

Barefoot on the coals:(Rating T)

Softly, they flit in its imposing shadow. Like gods of death in this ice-encrusted hell, not a sound, not a word, leaving death, leaving destruction in their wake. 

Softly, Prompto sees him approach. Knife in hand and glowing red eyes.

The face of Insomnia’s God. Pressing him against the wall. 

And that’s how he knew that he was going to die.

Aka the fic where Prompt was taken by Ardyn as a child, away from the Magitek factory and raised him as his ‘child’. And the one where a grieving, bereaved Noctis takes the helm of the remaining Kingsglaive, along with his brothers-in-arms, to wreak havoc on the kingdom that took everything away.

ARDYNOCT(Final Fantasy XV): 

Where Gods cannot see you or me. (Rating E+ for Explicit)

Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think. 

A desperate mantra in his mind, with cruel hands tugging at his clothes, baring him all to the violent, bright, pulsing lights. 

He couldn’t even if he tried, honestly. It’s all he can do to breathe. 

With those eyes watching him, all fake, fake pity for the rat that walked willingly into his trap. 

For just a second, Noct stares back. 

And then, he closes his eyes and stops thinking.

Aka that fic with the AU of Noct as the prince of Insomnia who possesses magic by making pacts with the demon!Chocobros, back in the time where he was 16, where he’d accidentally lost his virginity by letting some weird guy take him to a masked orgy party thing, full of demons. Oops. 

HIJIGIN(Gintama):

You try to make a ghost commit seppuku, your JUMP will be soggy for a thousand years!(Rating T)

It’s around the point of Kagura having her fifth bowl of chazuke and Gin returning to his seat after feeding the live mountain of fluff that they called their dog(and somehow now returning with his head split open) that Shinpachi finally snaps and ask, “What is this?!” 

“Chazuke.” 

“Not that, what is that?!” 

“Sukonbu.” 

“Since when does sukonbu go on chazuke?! But seriously, what is that?!”

“Chris Rock.” 

“How did we go from sukonbu to Chris Rock?! In fact, why Chris Rock?! In what way does he look like Chris Rock???” 

“Kazuya Nakai?” 

“The character name!! Say the character’s name not the voice actor!!! Enough, I’ll just say it! Why is the demonic Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi casually sitting here eating breakfast with us?!”

Aka the fic in which Hijikata for some reason keeps hanging out around the Yorozuya office, Gin is (mildly) annoyed, Shinpachi is confused and Kagura keeps watching too many nighttime dramas. Set after the events of the Shinsengumi Rebellion Arc.

YAMAHIBI(Devil Survivor 2)

Like Day and Night:(Rating T)

He sits back on the couch, the cat curled up on his lap. Quiet enough on its own, but still providing a sufficient enough distraction for Hibiki, considering that he has to reach down and pet it every odd second or so and risk being shot at in-game. His books abandoned to the side, buried in the cushions, with a discarded popsicle wrapper next to it. An early breakfast, probably.

Hibiki notices him then, and pauses the game completely(where was that during those intermittent cat petting sessions?) and smiles at him like he usually does. 

Marred slightly by the dark circles under his eyes, that quiet whisper that his voice had been reduced to.

“Welcome back, Yamato.” 

Aka the continuation of the day and night AU where Hibiki is afraid of the darkness, Yamato has a ‘persistent sensitivity’ to light, they share a dorm together and shenanigans ensue.

One secret for you to keep, more for me to speak:(Rating T)

As per usual, he stands in the shadows, away from the light. Quietly, away from the eyes of the public, among the crowd of sheep. Blending in, immaculately, despite his neat, well-maintained appearance; blue, white, gold among the sea of brown rags.

Perhaps it was his expression. It certainly matched those around him, all too well.

Surprise. Fear. Admiration, of the purest kind, almost like a child’s. Towards where his brethren assembled. 

The wolves, in the center, mindless at the sight of demons so much stronger than they could ever be. With gnashing teeth, with their own demons assembled in a ‘protective circle’ around them, the citizens. 

The wolf in the crowd of sheep, he knows better. He looks to where Yamato stood, matching his gaze. The fake surprise drops in an instant. 

And he smiles. 

Aka the expansion of the victorian demon lords AU, with Yamato investigating the murder of prominent demon tamers and Hibiki being the commoner half-brother of the Shijima family, who seems to know a lot more than he should.

ABESHIYA(Fukigen na Mononokean):

For every flower, I say to you(Rating K+)(COMPLETE)

Oh, how he missed the days he could sleep.

How easy it had been to just...close his eyes and dream. What a novel concept. How do  other people even do that?

His eyes were closed right now, but dreams wouldn't come so easily to him. Even fatigued as he was, weighing at his eyes, his bones, his very being.

Mostly because it was hard to do that with someone yelling in his ear.

"Abeno-san!"

...Dammit. He heaves a sigh and finally relents, opening his eyes.

And sees a curious face, mere inches away from him.

Aka the angel!Ashiya fic that someone asked me ages ago and i just started writing now cause im. trash. with him bugging abeno with flowers in his hair and they totally dont have any specific meaning what are you talking about abeno ahahahahahaha...ha

The Tale of the Morose Manbeast Chapter 9:(Rating T)

(currently being written)

Close your eyes and think that you’re mine. (Rating M+)

Even through the blindfold, he knew. He could ‘see’ through the sensations on his skin. 

The cold marble table on his back, from the gazebo in the back garden. 

The binding on his arms from the obi that he was wearing. 

The wind that picked up through his hair, quietly, so quietly. As if he was alone in the world. 

But he wasn’t. 

“Abeno-san?” 

He asks, of the hands under his throat, the lips on his cheek, the shuddering breath on his skin. The alpha’s scent, their heated breath, Ashiya’s heart pounding so fast that it scared him, all of it did. 

And yet, even with all of that, their kiss through cruel teeth, bruised lips, even then, it causes a hitch in his shuddering heartbeat, even then Ashiya’s weak to the scent of him, the person that he wanted.

And could never have.

Aka the omegaverse AU with Alpha!Abeno, Omega!Ashiya, classy rich house parties, a friendly Ashiya and an extremely possessive Abeno. There is probabl less plot in this than there should be.

CHROBIN(Fire Emblem: Awakening)

Stopping at the green:(Rating M+)

(currently being written) (yes its the threesome!chrobin request anon i gotchu)

Dollhouse:(Rating M+):

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

He remembered his own emotions just as clearly. The confusion. Had he heard him correctly? He remembers...he looked over at him then.

Robin's face. What...did it look like then?

And the look on his friend's face. He remembers that. The way Robin looked like he was about to cry.

"I can't ever come back."

Aka the fic with Rockstar!Robin, confused bi Chrom and little whispers in their little hometown through rumors, answering machines and kisses in the dark. 

....and that’s. it. wow this was surprisingly exhausting to write lol. so thats why the next update will take a while im sorry lol

i cant believe you even read through all this honestly im

well. thanks for reading! and i hope you have a lovely day!

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

I usually do these on the first Monday of the month, but that would be the seventh and that feels Weird to me XD So here I am, a few days early.

As always, come check out my writing discord if you’re so inclined--it’s pretty quiet, but theoretically a more interactive extension of this blog.

Also, open question night! For anyone who’s new, while my askbox is always open, tonight I’ll be actually keeping an eye on it to respond to stuff, which I don’t always do. Anything I talk about here on this blog or have posted to AO3 is fair game. Right now, I’m actively writing in Castlevania (which I haven’t posted yet); Star Wars; and BSG (which I’ve recently fallen back into hard XD). I do take prompts, but make no promises for how quickly I will fill them.

Okay! Housekeeping done, on to the actual updates!

Star Wars:

Precipice!Verse:

I swear I am not giving up or formally hiatus’ing this project ^^;; It’s just been slow going lately. I’m not sure I’ll get anything out this month? I think if I haven’t gotten anything by the time SWBB is over (which should time out nicely with the end of the Super Busy Season at work), I’ll do a full reread of everything I have, and hopefully that’ll get things flowing.

But even more hopefully that won’t be necessary and I’ll have the next chapter or the next Prelude out soonish, haha...

SWBB

I am behind where I want to be at this point but lol what else is new XD Artist claims are happening soon, though, so I have some Motive to get shit done. I also need to sit down and rewatch ROTS before I can write the first chunk (everything I have comes later in the story).

It doesn’t help that my brain is already feeding me ideas for next year, and it’s like, no, we’re not going to work on that yet even if it would be pretty cool, we can do that Later. (it might be a crossover if i can actually ride this thread to a storyline, we’ll see how it goes...but yeah that is a problem for Future Me; Present Me needs to work on this year’s fic which I am Committed to XD)

Castlevania:

See, the annoying thing here is, I have the second, third, and most of the fifth chapters/scenes of Incinctus largely finished (along with a bunch of later stuff). But not the first! So I can’t start posting it XD

My actual writing on this project has slowed down lately, but I think once I get that first chapter finished and start posting I’ll get some momentum and it’ll go through smoothly.

And then I do still have at least one other idea noodling around in my head, but Incinctus is my focus right now.

BSG:

I posted the other day about actually putting some work into making The Other Battlestar AU happen. XD This is a concept I came up with like ten years ago and now that I’m falling back into the fandom I wanna make it happen.

Essentially, this is What Happens If Professional Human Disaster Gaius Baltar Is On Pegasus Instead Of Galactica: Discuss. With appropriate TWs because this is a Pegasus storyline.

Right now, I’m prooooobably planning on ending it with the Resurrection Ship two-parter? I do have some vague idea of what would come after that, but some of it depends on how the holes in the Galactica storyline get patched. That side of things is an In Spite Of A Nail AU up until the two ships reconnect, with Baltar’s canon role being split across at least two OCs, one of whom I still need to design, lol.

Apart from that (and rewatching the parts of the show I need to before I can make this happen), I have a couple of logistical issues, lol.

First, how much of the pre-Fall stuff I want to cover. I do need to establish the relevant OCs (one of whom is Baltar’s teenage daughter; she fills his Science role (and changes nothing about his gloriously terrible decision-making because that does have to happen and...I am not going to go on a tangent about how Atia both does and does not change him lol that is a topic for another day); the other is going to do the politics stuff and I still need to figure out exactly how I want to approach that); plus how/why Helo stays behind in this context; some of the details on how exactly Baltar gets off Caprica and in position to be picked up by Cain instead of Roslin. But how much of that do I want to do right off the bat, do I want to do some of it with flashbacks, how much time should be devoted to introducing Atia and This Other Dude and how they relate to the people around them before we actually get going with the stuff we came here for...

also the more of that I write the more likely it is I have to make up an alias for Caprica-Six because Natasi was dumb even before Natalie existed to make it confusing lol

Second, figuring out enough Stuff to happen on Pegasus so the two storylines will have about the same weight/etc. leading up to the point of connection. Some of that will probably be fixed when I rewatch Razor, but right now I basically have...One Very Intense Storyline and a scattering of things relating to Head!Six and a couple OCs I already have built to flesh things out and fill a couple plotty roles in said Very Intense Storyline. Meanwhile, Galactica has...uh...a season and a half + the miniseries of Plot, quite a bit of which has to be reworked around the two+ new players, plus some sidestory stuff with Felix essentially adopting Atia as the little sister he never knew he needed, and the two of them and Billy and Dee hanging out on the fringes of all the Really Important Shit Going Down.

[Billy/his eventual fate is another Question I potentially need to resolve, especially if my scope does grow beyond the Pegasus arc but that’s not as serious a plotting question. Because I love him.]

Third, there are three key character/plot points that are a little Complicated to rework. Exposing Doral; whatever the fuck I’m gonna do with Shelly; killing Crashdown/the rest of what happens with the first Kobol landing party. Still working on those. XD Shelly is the hardest, I think--I can handwave Atia (because it probably has to be Atia to establish her in the role she’ll fill later) pinging Doral some way; having Chief pull the trigger probably works; but Shelly...is Complicated, lol.

Fourth, because [spoiler] is not in play at the time, someone else has to [spoiler] [spoiler] (like I said, I have One Very Intense Storyline already mostly plotted lol take a guess). I have a couple of options and am just figuring out which would be best.

I do have some other stories I’d like to work out At Some Point (rewriting For Sorrow Sung; a few other closer-to-canon AUs; getting back to Serenissima...) but right now I think this one has the most Potential.

...also totally unrelated but yeah BSG is the crossover I’m toying with for next year’s BB; there are some Interesting Things that can be done here; at least six or seven BSG characters I would pinpoint as Force-sensitive; plus the messengers/Head!People, not to mention the hilarity that will ensue when introducing Starbuck and ::gestures at all the hotshot pilots I can choose from depending on era/setting::...

So I think that about covers it! I do in theory want to get some original stuff down, too, but that’s more in the background and I don’t have anything specific to say. Plus other semi-hiatused SW projects, etc., lol. Anyway, let me know if y’all have any thoughts, or what you’re working on, and again open question night!

[hamilficsfordays]

A Significant Change in Dynamic (Lin/Reader)

Prompt: @hamwriters Write-A-Thon Day 4!  Write a fic that happens where you live or somewhere close. Celebrate your culture and where you are!

Author’s Note: So I live in NYC. As you can imagine, today’s prompt wasn’t much of a challenge. To combat that, I wrote a piece in which the reader was really vulnerable which made me feel really vulnerable. Posting this is scary, I won’t lie.

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader

Summary: You’ve been given feedback on your writing by your best friend Lin: he thinks your more provocative scenes could use some work. He’s willing to help, but taking up his offer changes things.

Rating: M, for swearing and… well honestly this is just smut with a long setup. so smut.

Warnings: Making out, blowjobs, swearing, p in v intercourse, sexual tension. And yes, this is an AU where Lin is married to Vanessa and has Sebastian as a son.

Words: 3180 (save me)

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write / This Week’s Works

It was 1:07 in the afternoon when you got off the train at 181st. It was a short walk to Lin’s place that you’d come to know very well over the last year.

When you arrived at this building, you greeted the doorman’s familiar face and took the elevator upstairs to his floor.

As soon as you knocked on the apartment door, you heard him shout “It’s open!” from the inside, prompting you to let yourself in.

“Hey Y/N,” he greeted you from the living room. “Did you meet your deadline? This our last one before I move to London.”

“Check your email.” you confirmed.

You’d sent him the document on the train ride there, a piece of writing you had been hard at work on for a week for him to give advice on. Lin had insisted you set deadlines for yourself, which he was happy to keep track of.

“What about you?” you prompted, sitting on the couch beside him in the living room. The TV was on across the room, at a low volume. Lin was in a t-shirt and jeans, sat on the couch as he pulled up your email on his MacBook.

“I sent it to you an hour ago,” he prompted, teasing. “Keep up.”

Sure enough, you checked your own email, seeing something from him that had arrived nearly an hour beforehand. You opened the document, starting to read his as he did the same to yours.

“Are you not with child?” you glanced around, looking for Sebastian.

“I just put him down for a nap,” he confirmed. “V is at work, so it’s just you and me.”

It had been this way since you first met, exchanging writing ideas or works in progress to receive feedback. You had to admit, knowing another writer like Lin was extremely helpful. If anything, you were more productive now than you had ever been.

He was due to move to London next week to start work on Mary Poppins 2, which meant this would be the last in-person writing session that you had until he returned home for the holidays in late December.

It took a while to get through all of his, which made you slightly self-conscious of your own. You were short on words this week, on account of work being especially overwhelming.

“Are you done?” he finally asked when you put your phone down.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I thought it was great. Your execution was strong. Your antagonist has solid characterization, as per usual. It was lit.”

“Thanks.” he nodded. “I’m only about a quarter of the way through, but it’s progressing.”

“What about mine?” you asked, gesturing toward the computer in his lap.

“Uh…” he paused.

“Wow, that bad, huh?”

“Not bad.” he insisted. “I just think you could do better. I’ve seen you write stuff way better than this. Your ability is far beyond this work,” he closed the document. “And your makeout scene was weak.”

You frowned, pretending to be more offended than you actually were. “I’m sorry, I haven’t made out with someone since college, and I wasn’t exactly taking notes then.”

“It’s not just that,” he pointed out. “Every romantic scene you write has been moderately unsatisfying lately. I showed V your blowjob scene from last week, and even she was disappointed.”

You sighed, groaning as you pulled the hood of your jacket down over your eyes. “Not all of us are married and can make out and give blowjobs for reference whenever they want, you know.”

“You don’t have to be married to make out with someone or give a blowjob.” he reminded you. “You’re choosing not to get out there and get that experience to make your writing better.”

“I doubt I could hook up with a stranger and asked them to stop midway through to take notes. Who else am I going to make out with, you?” you prompted, joking. “Or maybe Vanessa, since you’re the only two friends I have right now that I don’t work with… and I would never hook up with any of the assholes at my job.”

“It would help, at least.” He shrugged.

“What would?” You hoped you didn’t understand what he was actually suggesting.

“Us making out.” he ran a hand through his short hair, glancing at the TV for a moment before looking back at you. “Who else in this city could you make out with while taking reference notes?”

“Maybe someone who isn’t married?” you suggested, shifting uncomfortably. “I mean she and I are friends, but I’m pretty sure if Vanessa ever found out that she’d hang me by my ankles, slit my throat and watch me bleed out slowly.” you shuddered at the thought.

“Are we talking about the same Vanessa who casually suggested we have a threesome that one time?”

You shook your head. “That doesn’t count. She was drunk.”

“No, she wasn’t. It was like noon.” he chuckled at your defensiveness. “Are you scared?”

“Of your wife? Absolutely.”

“What if I called her and asked?” he offered, pulling out his phone.

“I’d be willing to bet a Hamilton that she reaches through the phone and slaps you.”

He pulled out his wallet then, taking out a ten dollar bill and placing it on the couch between you. “I bet she says it’s okay.”

You shook your head as he started to call her. “You’re gonna regret this so much.”

He put her on speaker so both of you could hear.

“Hey boo,” she started.

“Hey V, are you at the office?”

“I’m in a cab heading back from a meeting with a client. Why what’s up?”

Lin glanced at you briefly. You shook your head, reminding him one last time that it was a poor decision.

“Do you remember Y/N’s blowjob piece from last week?”

“The really bad unsatisfying one?” she recalled almost immediately. “Of course.”

You frowned.

“I got another piece of work from her that had a make out scene that was just as bad.”

“Really? That’s a shame. She used to be such a good writer.”

You tossed a pillow from your side of the couch at him. “This isn’t even constructive criticism anymore. This is just mean.”

“Anyway,” he continued. “I suggested she go out and do some field research to improve her work, but I think she’s right in assuming that not many people would be okay with her stopping to take notes.”

“You would,” Vanessa pointed out. “Why don’t you do it?”

Your eyes went wide suddenly, hearing her words.

“I didn’t even have to ask,” Lin whispered to you before focusing his attention back to Vanessa.

“Would you be okay with that?” he prompted.

“I’m sick of unsatisfactory fellatio scenes. If this will help, then do it. I trust you two not to run off with each other.”

“This…” your voice trailed off, still in shock. “This has to be a joke, right? Is this a joke?”

“Am I on speaker?” Vanessa asked, hearing your skepticism. “Y/N, do it. Seriously, you need the experience if you want your work to get any better. I don’t care what you have to do, cover all bases. Just make sure you get everything that you need now; I’m not giving out any more free passes.”

“Thanks, V,” Lin hung up, looking back at you. “I believe someone owes me ten dollars.”

You pulled out your wallet, handing him two fives. “Are you guys okay? Is your marriage really in such bad shape that she needs to give you permission to sleep with other women to keep you satisfied?”

“You’re not “other women”, you’re our friend.” he pointed out. “On the contrary, our marriage is great because we communicate about everything. If you needed more experience with same sex stuff, she would ask me and I’d say yes.” he paused. “I’d also probably ask to watch.”

You rolled your eyes, standing up. “Whatever works for you guys, I guess.”

“Where are you going?”

“To your office to get a pen and paper. You know, to take notes.” you reminded him. “The reason we’re doing this in the first place.”

He smirked as you headed down the hallway, into his office to retrieve a notepad and a pen.

When you returned, he’d turned the TV off, patiently waiting for you.

“Are you all set?” he asked.

“I’m a little skeptical about making out with my best friend,” you weren’t afraid of expressing your hesitation. “But I guess it’s better than making out with a stranger.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Jasmine and I are friends and we had to do a lot on stage every night in Hamilton. It was weird at first, but you kind of just have to get over that awkward hump.”

You fought back a sigh. “You really had to pick right now to say the word hump?”

He laughed.

There was a pause, as neither of you was sure how to proceed.

You bit your lip ever so slightly, meeting eyes with him before taking a breath and pressing your lips against his. You melted at the sensation, feeling him kiss back.

“You taste like coffee,” you paused for a moment to tell him, though he was quick to pull you back into another kiss.

Things got heated fast. You were on top of him on the couch, his hands on the small of your back as you kept at it. It became easier with time, and you pressed on.

He attempted to turn you over, only partially aware of the fact that there was no room left on the couch. You fell off the couch, onto the rug with him landing on top of you.

His lips move to your jawline, kissing along the edge down to your neck. Your breathing was much heavier.

“Wait, stop,” you managed, though the last thing you wanted was for him to pull away.

You sat up, now level with the table, to start writing.

“Coffee…” you mumbled, speaking aloud. “Kissing the jaw line…”

As you continued to write, Lin pushed your hair aside, his lips moving back to your neck.

You could feel a bruise no doubt forming as he pressed on, but you enjoyed it too much to move away. You gasped for a moment, rushing through the end of the note before turning back to kiss him again.

Things seemed to be going well, you figured, until you felt his hand sliding up your thigh. When he reached the hem of your skirt, you stopped him and pulled away.

“What are you doing?” you asked, slightly out of breath. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be giving you head, remember?”

He shrugged. “Vanessa said to cover all bases.”

“I’d much rather we didn’t.” you insisted. “I’m fine with giving you head but that’s…” you looked down, searching for a good word to use. “Personal.”

“If you say so.”

There was another pause.

“So I guess… take your pants off.” you finally said.

Lin turned a shade of red.

“Oh come on, don’t act like I didn’t totally see it that one time I walked in on you pleasuring yourself.”

Though you were right, he still hesitated.

You finally rolled your eyes, reaching over to unzip his jeans for him.

“I have to do everything myself.”

When you freed him from his briefs, he was already semi-erect. Something you’d felt pressing against you when you were making out just a few moments ago.

You leaned your head down, moving closer to him before stopping just shy of the tip.

“Can you just… warn me before it happens? I don’t want to be surprised.”

He nodded slowly, watching you carefully as you took him in your hands, your tongue grazing his tip a few times.

You heard him gasp, but didn’t look up. Instead, you took him in one inch at a time, moving tantalizingly slowly until you reached the base.

“Fuck,” he moaned, breathless. You kept the tortuous slow pace if only to taunt him further.

His hands intertwined in your hair. “Y/N, you are killing me. Please go faster.”

You sat up then, turning back to the table. “Hold on, I just need to write something down.”

He groaned, clearly frustrated, leaning back against the couch.

You wrote slowly this time, taking down every specific detail of what was happening, forcing him to wait for you.

Your eyes met as you sunk down again, watching his reactions as you carefully moved the tip of your tongue up and down his length.

Your actions were clearly progressive as he tensed up, telling you he was close. You pulled away, writing more down.

“How do you want to finish?” you asked.

“Honestly?” he hesitated for a moment but pressed on anyway. “I think we should do it together.”

The look on your face must’ve been one of shock because he continued to explain himself.

“We already made it this far.” he pointed out. “You could always do it with a stranger, but I’m not sure that you want to. Besides, you can’t just write about pleasuring other people. At one point or another, you’re going to have to talk about what it’s like to be pleasured.”

You didn’t respond.

“I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m just saying, if you’re up for it, it might be really helpful to you.”

You couldn’t exactly argue. It made a lot of sense. To be honest, you weren’t opposed to doing it with Lin. If anything, he was arguably the most attractive person you’d gotten this far with. With Vanessa giving her permission, it made sense to take advantage.

You finally stood up, reaching under your skirt to pull your underwear off. The small black panties landed around your ankles without a sound. Still on the floor, Lin smirked up at you.

You offered a hand to pull him up before lying across the couch.

“I should go get a condom—” he started.

You shook your head. “I’m on birth control.”

There were a few minutes of foreplay necessary to make sure you were ready. When the time came, Lin seemed incredibly nervous. You felt the same.

You helped lead him to the right place, gasping as you adjusted to the feeling of fullness.

Like you, he was slow to start. You tried to encourage him to move faster; moaning in his ear, meeting his thrusts, scratching his back with your nails. He seemed to get more comfortable over time, quickening his pace and kissing every part of your body that his mouth could reach.

“Time out,” you insisted, causing him to stop. He pulled back, letting you sit up and lean over the coffee table to write down more observations.

“We should switch positions.” you offered once you’d finished.

“To what?”

“Let me be on top.”

You watched as Lin carefully lied back on the couch just as you had before. You climbed over him, straddling his lap as you slowly slid down onto his length. He cursed at the sensation, grabbing your hips as you started to ride him slowly.

Your hands fell to his chest. You started at a normal pace with your eyes locked on his.

Leaning forward felt good against your clit, so it wasn’t long before you were close. Feeling you tense up, Lin quickly reached up and covered your mouth as you came. You moaned as you finally came, though it was dulled by his hand so as not to disturb his son in the other room. Feeling him tighten around you, it wasn’t long before he came as well. His back arched off of the couch as he stifled a groan.

For a while, you were silent. You pulled your underwear back on as he did the same to his own. You couldn’t think of anything to say once you’d finished writing, only sitting beside him in silence on the couch.

It was so quiet that you could hear Sebastian from the other room, awake from his nap.

Lin left to take him out of his crib, change his diaper, and bring him back into the living room.

Your demeanor changed when Sebastian was in the room. You greeted him with a huge smile, taking him into your arms for a moment to say hello.

“I should probably go.” you finally said, handing Sebastian back to him.

“What? No, stay for dinner.” he insisted. “Vanessa will be back around six—”

“You know what, I need to compile all of these notes into something useable.” You picked up the pages from the table, stuffing them into your purse. “I think I should just go home and get started now.”

He started to protest but ultimately refused, seeing you clearly wanted to leave.

“We can hang out before you leave, though,” you offered. “I’m sure we’ll find some time.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Sure. I’ll text you.”

When you were out of the building and headed down the road, you could feel your heart pounding. You were finally forced to accept the fact that you had feelings for Lin.

You’d been able to repress them in the past, but after today they were hard to ignore. You knew you could never attempt anything—you had way too much respect for him or Vanessa to fuck with their marriage—but you couldn’t deny that the dynamics of you friendship had changed significantly.

Now there were risks.

Now it was scary.

All of this as he was about to leave the country for several months.

You pulled the papers and the pen out again, scribbling ‘A SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN DYNAMIC’ at the bottom of the last page.

Lin had attempted to make plans to hang out with you several times before he left that you made excuses not to do. You thought it best not to be around him alone for fear of what might happen.

They moved to London six days later. For a while, the lack of pressure from not having him in the city felt good. That didn’t last long, as you started to miss him too much. You were still friends, after all.

You decided to stay in touch with him regularly as you always would; texting, emailing work, pretending as if that day hadn’t happened for the sake of your friendship. It was all you could do to force your feelings to remain repressed.

No matter how hard you tried, though, nothing would ever be the same.

[hamilficsfordays]

It’s a Risk (Pippa/Reader) Part Two

Prompt: @hamwriters Write-A-Thon Day 2! Femslash day! Our girls need more love, so let’s write for them! Platonic or not, day two is the day to show appreciation for our ladies.

Prompt:  aLRIGHT fluff pippa x reader please?? 

Prompt: hey so if you’re already doing a pippa x reader fic, smut is cool,,P

Author’s Note: Part two of two! I meant to finish this ages ago and femslash day seemed like a great opportunity to do so!

Pairing: Phillipa Soo/Reader

Summary: It’s prom night and you’re planning to go with the girl of your dreams. Unfortunately, in the backwards small town you live in, it’s a risk.

Rating: M for low-key smut and swearing!

Warnings: Cursing, bigotry, gay slurs, discrimination, low-key smut

Words: 2390

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write / Part One / This Week’s Works

It was the day of prom, a Saturday. You’d been up since early that morning, prepping for the night’s events.

It was finally time to put your dress on. It was a stunning design, red and form-fitting.

You recalled the day a few months ago when Pippa had convinced you to buy it.

Staring at yourself in the mirror, you had to admit you loved the dress. It was perfect, sure, but perfect dresses weren’t made for people with your body type.

“Maybe I should try another one.” you insisted.

“What?” Pippa was in the dressing room with you, admiring how incredible you looked.

“Are you kidding? You look amazing! You have to buy that dress.”

“I don’t know… I just don’t think it fits right.”

“Y/N… it fits perfectly. I know you like it, I can see it in your eyes every time you look in the mirror.”

You glanced at yourself in the mirror again. This time you couldn’t help but smile.

“I can already see it now. You and I walking into prom… you wearing this fabulous dress… it’s going to be amazing.”

When you had pulled it on and zipped it up on the side, you admired yourself in the mirror again.

Fuck it. I look amazing you thought.

You made a promise to not let your self-doubt get in the way of a good time, regardless of what happened. You were going to prom with the cutest girl in school, and that was all that mattered.

Your mother had arranged to have your hair and makeup professionally done for the occasion. She thought it would make up for the fact that no boy had asked you to prom.

You parents weren’t exactly upset with you for being gay—they didn’t kick you out or disown you—but they sometimes liked to pretend that it wasn’t true. You usually put up with it, as discussing a fake boyfriend at Thanksgiving dinner to please your relatives was better than being homeless.

When you descended down the staircase, your mother had already started getting emotional and pulling out the camera. You rolled your eyes but forced a smile as you took pictures with each of your parents.

There was a knock on the door shortly thereafter, and you father opened it to see Pippa standing there, her car in the driveway.

She was stunning in a light blue dress, her hair in a fancy up-do and her make-up flawless as usual.

You gasped when you saw her.

“Oh Pippa, you look beautiful.�� your mom teared up again. “Let me get a photo of you two together.”

Pippa stood beside you, smiling as you posed for a photo.

“Two lifelong best friends!” your mother insisted, taking another photo.

“Just gals being pals,” Pippa noted. You gave her a knowing look.

“So Pippa, you didn’t get asked to the prom either?” your dad asked.

“Oh no, I think all of the boys at our school are too intimidated by me.” she joked. “Anyway, we should get going.”

“Drive safe!” your mother called from the house as you headed out to Pippa’s car in the driveway. “If you get drunk, call me! I’ll take you home!”

“That was painful.” you finally admitted as you were pulling out of the driveway. “I can’t believe they actually thought that we were going as friends.”

“At least they were nice enough to ignore it.” she reminded you as she headed down the road. When you were far enough away that your parents couldn’t see you, she pulled over.

“Is something wrong?”

“I bought you a corsage.”

You were pleasantly surprised as you watched her pull a corsage out, still in its container, from the backseat. You let her put it on you, carefully tying it around your wrist.

“It matches my dress.”

“Of course.” she smiled. “Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean that we’re not significantly more attractive and fashionable than any other hick at that school.”

“We so are.” you agreed.

She took your hand in hers then, moving back to the road.

You were holding hands the entire drive there. You had to stop yourself from blushing so hard.

When you arrived at the school, you could feel confidence practically pouring out of you. Pippa seemed to be feeling the same way, eager to walk inside with you.

You entered through the front, presenting your tickets to the teacher sitting at the table. She gave you a strange look as if something was off about you, but let you proceed back to the gymnasium where prom was being held anyway.

The look from the teacher caused you to falter for a moment, but only one as Pippa locked elbows with you before stepping into the large room.

The usual state of the gym was gone, now covered in decorations, balloons, confetti, and a disco ball at the center. There were tables on the far end of the room where some students were eating dinner and a dance floor at the center where a makeshift stage was set up. There was a band on it playing a slow song.

Pippa bowed, offering her hand to you.

“May I have this dance?” she asked, causing you to blush yet again,

“The pleasure is all mine.” You took her hand, headed to the dance floor.

With her hand on your waist and yours on her shoulder, you slowly began to dance to the song.

For a few moments, it was bliss. Slow dancing with Pippa at prom was something you’d been dreaming of since freshman year.

After a short time, however, the staring began. There was a collection of dirty looks pointed your way by other students. The whispering followed, forcing you to feel uncomfortable.

You met eyes with your date, who seemed completely unphased by the looks and the whispers. You tried to focus on her, but it was hard to ignore.

Eventually, a female chaperone approached you.

“I’m sorry, but you two need to leave.” she started.

“Why?” Pippa stood up to her. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Well, I think you just might be. We don’t allow that kind of sickly behavior at school events.”

“What exactly are you referring to?” you stood up to the teacher this time, surprising even yourself at the sudden rush of adrenaline.

“Two women together is just unnatural.”

As Pippa started to protest again, a few other chaperones approached and asked you to leave as well. At this point, several other students had caught on, encouraging you to leave.

“Who let the queers in?” one of them shouted.

“No dykes allowed!” someone else said.

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you stood behind Pippa instinctively.

“That’s fine, we don’t need to be here with a bunch of bigots.” she insisted. “Come on, Y/N, let’s go.” she grabbed your hand and headed toward the door.

You kept your head down as you headed out, an avalanche of slurs following you both to the door.

When you finally made it out of the building and into Pippa’s car, you could feel the rage building up inside you.

“Fuck them,” you whispered, breaking the silence. Saying it felt good. You wanted to say it again.

“Fuck them!” you said louder this time. “How dare they kick us out like that. Who do they think they are? We had just as much of a right to be there together as anyone else!”

Your anger was turning into tears as you continued.

“That was humiliating. They don’t even know what they’re talking about. FUCK THEM!”

You did your best to fight your tears, not an easy feat.

“Are you crying, Y/N?” she finally asked.

“No!” you insisted, glaring out the window at the school. Finally, the tears fell and a sob erupted from your chest. “Yes.”

Pippa took your hand again, squeezing it supportively.

“I just… I’ve been dreaming of slow dancing with you at prom since freshman year.” you managed between sobs. “Now it’s all ruined because we live in this southern hellhole of a town.”

There was a brief silence as you started to compose yourself. Pippa never stopped squeezing your hand.

“Are you hungry?” she finally said.

“What?”

“I asked if you were hungry.” she tried again.

“We are not going back in there.”

“I didn’t say that.” she started the car, pulling out of the parking space. “We’re not going back there, but this night isn’t over.”

Thirty minutes had come and gone, and you found yourself in a McDonald’s parking lot eating in the car alongside your date.

“You know, people knock on fast food,” you took a bite of the burger in your hand. “But I think it tastes best at 11 pm after you’ve been kicked out of prom with the cutest girl in school.”

“I completely agree.” she nodded, pulling a french fry from the bag sitting between the two of you.

When you’d finished eating, a glance in the overhead mirror made you realize for the first time that your cheeks were mascara stained from crying earlier.

“Oh my god,” you tried wiping it away with your bare hands to no avail. “I look horrible.”

Pippa reached in front of you into her glove compartment, pulling out a container of wet wipes and offering you one. You started clearing your makeup off.

“I guess if we’re not at prom it doesn’t make a difference.” you concluded.

“Speaking of,” she offered you another one which you politely declined. “Are you up for another try at that slow dance?”

“What do you mean?” you finished wiping off your makeup and Pippa started the car again, backing out of the parking space.

You recognized the familiar path to her house. When she parked in the driveway, you hesitated in the car for a moment.

“Come on in,” she insisted, getting out. “My parents are out of town.”

“Your parents went out of town on prom night? It’s like they’re telling you to have sex.”

You followed her up to the front door which she promptly unlocked and stepped into a dark living room

“I would never do anything you wouldn’t consent to.” she turned to face you. “There is one thing you did consent to, though.”

“What’s that?”

Pippa turned on the light, revealing her living room covered in streamers, decorations and even a makeshift disco ball hanging from the ceiling. It was your own personal prom.

“A slow dance.” she reminded you.

There was a dock with an iPod plugged in that she pressed play on, a slow song starting.

“You did all this?” You asked, taken aback. “How did you know—”

“I had a suspicion that prom might be a bust and I didn’t want to lose out on my chance with you,” she confessed.

You smiled, blushing for what felt like the hundredth time that night

She bowed, offering her hand to you. “It would be an honor to dance with the most beautiful girl in school.”

“The honor is all mine.” you insisted, taking her hand.

You slow danced in her living room, your head rested on her shoulder.

You kept at it through a few songs, as you couldn’t bring yourself to let go of her.

You finally pulled your head up, meeting eyes with your best friend before you slowly leaned in to kiss her for the first time.

Her lips tasted like vanilla, a surprising fact considering you’d both just eaten fast food. It was her lipgloss you figured, which made it hard not to go back for more.

“Let’s go up to your room.” you finally said once she’d pulled back. She agreed without another word and headed up with you.

You’d seen her room many times before in the past. Sleepovers, study sessions and countless other times came to mind. This time, however, was far different as you fell back onto her bed, watching her slowly unzip her dress before climbing on top of you.

You kissed again, passionate, hungry for her.

“Why don’t we get you out of that dress?” she suggested, reaching for the zipper along the side of your gown. It was strapless, so you managed to maneuver out of it without sitting up.

With both of your undergarments tossed aside, she pulled your hips to the edge of the bed and slowly put her face between your legs.

The feeling of her tongue was overwhelming, causing you to squirm almost immediately.

“Shit, did I do something wrong?” she asked, pulling back. “Did it hurt?”

“What?” you sat up. “No, it was fine. It was good.”

“Are you sure?” she asked again.

“I trust you.” you assured her, falling back onto the bed and letting her continue.

It took a while for her to get the hang of things, but once she managed to find a spot you particularly enjoyed, she kept at it.

You grabbed onto her bed sheets as you climaxed a few minutes, moaning her name as she sent you over the edge.

She stood up, carefully wiping her mouth as she leaned in to kiss you again.

“I don’t know if I’m going to be as good as you.” you insisted. “I’ve never really done this kind of thing before.”

“Don’t worry about it.” she crawled into bed beside you. “Pleasuring you like that was more than enough to satisfy me. It was invigorating.”

“But you—” you tried to protest, but she only stopped you with another kiss.

“Can I just have this moment beside you?” she asked. “I just want to exist right now, lying beside the girl of my dreams.”

You decided not to argue, instead cuddling up to her.

The discrimination you’d faced only a few hours beforehand was far from your mind.

In that moment, it felt like you and Pippa were unstoppable together.

With high school ending and the real world fast approaching, it was a good feeling to have.

[hamilficsfordays]

No Love Lost (Lin/Reader and Lin/Vanessa) (Part Two)

Prompt: This wasn’t actually requested, I just got the idea for this on the walk home last night and I couldn’t resist.

Author’s Note: This is probably the longest of the three chapters just because I really needed to develop a relationship but also not develop a relationship to kind of show that it works either way.

Soulmates in this universe are kind of meant to be together by nature, as in they’re kind of genetically created for one another. That being said, you can be happy with someone else, it just won’t be as fulfilling as with your soulmate.

Friendly reminder about my other story which proves I have nothing against Lin and Vanessa’s relationship.

Playlist: Can be found here

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader and Lin-Manuel Miranda/Vanessa Nadal

Summary: You just want to get to know each other, that’s all. Unfortunately, being soulmates is a hard thing to deny.

Rating: M for some low-level (nothing too graphic) sinning.

Warnings: Just the smut

Words: 2776

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write / Part One / Part Three

You were up early that Thursday morning, trying to ease your nerves before your plans with Lin at noon. When you glanced at your phone, a couple of text from a strange number were at the top of your notifications.

[Hey, Jasmine gave me your number. It’s Lin.]

[I can’t make coffee this afternoon. I was hoping we could do lunch around 2 instead. We can meet at the same place.]

Your schedule called for you to be at work at that time. You sighed, slightly disappointed as you texted him back.

[That time is no good for me. I have work.]

You went about your usual morning routine, jumping into the shower brushing your teeth. When you returned from the bathroom, there was another text.

[How about dinner at eight? I know this great place on the UWS]

Just like that, a casual afternoon coffee uptown to get to know one another had become a dinner in a nicer part of Manhattan. The stakes had been raised, and you weren’t a hundred percent sure that you were ready for that. That didn’t stop you from sending a response, confirming you’d meet him at the restaurant at eight.

The restaurant was busy when you arrived straight from work. Lin was waiting outside for you dressed in a suit, visibly excited as he saw you approach.

“Hey, you look amazing.” he kissed you on the cheek.

“And you’re… wearing a suit. Am I underdressed?” You had a dress on under your jacket, though it was a bit more casual than formal.

“Oh, no.” he waved it off. “I just came from a press thing. I’m probably overdressed.”

You were sat at a table in the middle of the busy restaurant by the hostess. Lin couldn’t seem to stop smiling at you the whole time.

“So,” you started. “This definitely isn’t coffee.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. My schedule got kind of tied up.”

He blushed, looking away from you. You could tell he wasn’t being honest.

“That’s not true.” you finally said.

“Yeah I…” he hesitated for a moment. “Well, Vanessa wasn’t exactly happy about us meeting up. I had to take care of my son during the day until my parents got home from work so they could look after him.”

“She wasn’t upset with you, was she? I didn’t come here to ruin a marriage.”

Lin was in the kitchen, feeding their son who was sat in his high chair when Vanessa came in.

“Why are you meeting that girl this afternoon?” she demanded. “Why didn’t you ask my permission?”

“What are you talking about?” he tried to play it off.

“I saw the google calendar alert on your phone.” she reminded him. “You never asked me if you could meet her.”

“Since when do I have to ask you to meet anyone, V? Since when has that ever been how we do things?”

“Obviously this is different!” she insisted. “You can’t just hang out with the woman who’s supposed to be your soulmate. You’re married to me.”

“We’re just meeting up for coffee.” He fed Sebastian another spoonful of baby food. “I have a right to get to know her.”

“Actually, I’d argue that you don’t.”

Lin sighed. “You’re being really unreasonable. She’s not a problem. She’s just a girl.”

“If she’s just a girl then why didn’t you tell me you were going to see her? Is that why you asked me to take off today?”

He sighed.

“You wanted me to sit at home and watch our son while you went out with her?”

“Well, I—” he tried.

“I’m going to work today. You’re going to have to cancel on your girlfriend.”

“Vanessa—” before he could complete a response, she was out the door.

“Oh no, it’s fine. It wasn’t a big deal at all. She’s just sort of getting used to this situation. I think we all are.”

“Right.” you nodded once, glancing around the restaurant uncomfortably.

“So… You’re the guy who wrote that musical Jasmine and Anthony were in, right?”

“Oh yeah, Hamilton.”

“It’s supposed to be really popular. I’ve heard a lot of good things. It’s not like I could afford to go see it, though.”

“I could always get you a ticket.” he offered. “I mean if you want.”

You smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that. My favorite course that I took undergrad at Columbia was Music Theory and Literature of the late 1700’s. I feel like I’d be right at home.”

Lin’s eyes widened as if he was pleasantly surprised at your words. “They offer a course in that?”

“Oh sure. It even predated your musical if you can believe it.”

“So if you went to Columbia, I assume you’re not from New York.”

You went back and forth for a while about your lives growing up, at home, with your families and then some. The conversation flowed effortlessly.

By the time your dinner and drinks had arrived at the table, Lin had removed his jacket and rolled the sleeves on his dress shirt up as he listened to you tell the story of how you’d met Jasmine.

“A rose for your soulmate?” A young woman approached the table, a basket of roses in her hand.

“Oh, I’m not—” you tried.

“She is my soulmate.” he corrected you, pulling his wallet out. “We’ll take one.”

You blushed as he handed the rose to you.

You could feel it. He was falling for you. Rather quickly, which wasn’t surprising considering you were basically genetically perfect for one another.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you may have been feeling the same way.

“This feels like it’s blurring the lines a little.” you confessed.

“Between what?”

“Between friendship and something more serious.”

He shrugged. “We’re soulmates. That might happen sometimes. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be friends.”

You didn’t really want to argue.

An hour flew by. You were having a great time and he seemed to be as well. You almost didn’t want the night to end.

He glanced at the watch on his wrist, cursing under his breath.

“Is everything okay?” you asked.

“No I… I promised my parents I’d pick Sebastian up by ten and it’s already nine-thirty.”

“Then let’s go. We can split the check.” you reached for the checkbook on the edge of the table.

“Oh no I couldn’t—” he tried to pull it from you but you took his hand in yours instead. Your eyes met, causing a spark that both of you could feel.

“We can split the check.” you said again, smirking at him.

He smiled back and seceded, waiting for you to put your card in the checkbook before doing the same with his own.

“Come with me.” he suggested as you were heading out from the restaurant.

“Are you sure?”

“I mean I had a great time and would rather not say goodnight right at this moment,” he confessed. “Any chance you feel the same way?”

You paused for a moment. You knew going with him would be blurring the lines (again), but you also didn’t care. You wanted to. Your impulse told you to go. At that moment, your impulses were getting harder and harder to ignore.

“Lead the way.” you said, following him as you both headed to the down the block to catch a cab going uptown.

Lin’s parents lived near the upper tip of Manhattan. He still had a key to their home, opening the door for the two of you. You opted to wait outside for a moment until he waved you in.

“Come on, it’s just my parents.” he insisted.

It was a small, comfortable home. His parents were both in the living room.

“Sorry, I’m late.” Lin half whispered. “I assume he’s asleep.”

“We put him down in your old room a few hours ago.” his father glanced up from the book in his hands and noticed you standing behind Lin. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Y/N.” he introduced you with a smile. “She’s my…” he paused, looking at you for a proper response. You shook your head, deciding that the truth probably wasn’t a good idea.

“Soulmate.” he blurted out. “She’s my soulmate.”

His parents were both speechless.

“Oh, who is not actually dead as was previously thought.” he clarified. “I was at a party a few weeks ago and her timer went off when we met.”

His mother stood up, walking toward you. “You’re Y/N?” she asked.

“Y-yes?”

“You didn’t die in a car accident thirteen years ago?”

“No. Well yes, but no.”

“Her heart stopped and the doctors brought her back,” Lin explained.

Now both of his parents were stood in front of you, eyeing you up and down as if they were skeptical.

“Where did you go to college?” his father asked.

“Columbia.”

“How old are you?” his mother pressed.

“Thirty.”

His mother turned back to Lin. “Did you see her timer go off when you met?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

Finally resigned to the truth, they both hugged you at the same time. Lin chuckled, seeing how obviously surprised you were.

“Y/N, you’re alive! By the grace of God!” his father exclaimed.

“We thought you were gone! We thought you’d died!”

“Yeah, so did everyone apparently.” you looked at Lin, who was still highly amused by his parents nearly tackling you to the ground.

“Please help.” you begged.

“Okay, guys, enough. Let her breathe.” he managed to pull them away from you. “I’m gonna get Sebastian and we’re going to head out.”

It almost seemed like his parents were sad to see you go even though you’d just met.

“They are not going to stop texting me about you,” he whispered, so as not to wake the sleeping baby in his arms. “I can guarantee it.”

You giggled.

He had used his phone to get another cab that was promptly waiting in the street as you headed out. You both got into the back, headed to the next destination—his apartment building.

When you got there, it felt as though the night had essentially come to an end.

“I guess I’ll head home—” you started.

“What? No. Wait here.” he opened the cab and stepped out with Sebastian in one hand, asleep on his shoulder. “Vanessa should be home so I can just drop him off. I’ll be right back.”

You glanced at the clock on your phone seeing that it was almost eleven. With any other person, you’d be on your way home. With Lin, it felt different. It was an impulse that kept you around.

He returned to the car after a few minutes.

“Where to?” the cab driver asked.

“Is that cafe still open?” Lin suggested. “Maybe we can have coffee after all.”

“I’m pretty sure they close at ten.” you confirmed.

Your impulses took over at that point, encouraging you to say something that you’d never say otherwise.

You couldn’t help but listen.

“We can go to my place.” you offered. “I’ll make us some coffee.”

“Sure, yeah.” Lin didn’t hesitate for even a second.

You gave your address to the driver, who took you back downtown.

Your apartment was in Greenwich Village near NYU. As you hopped out of the cab (which you insisted on paying for) and led him into your building, you could feel your heart racing. You were nervous at this point, though you weren’t sure what for. It felt as if your body knew what would happen next before your mind figured it out.

You stepped into the elevator and hit the button for your floor, standing beside him. Your hands grazed one another for a moment, sending a spark through you. You could feel it then, that harsh, desperate feeling of needing him. You suddenly didn’t care that he was married or had a kid, nor did you care that it was wrong or frowned upon to do what you were about to do.

He was your soulmate.

“Is your roommate home?” he asked quietly, staring straight ahead at the door.

“I live alone.” you told him.

Your eyes met.

You were carried out of the elevator, legs wrapped around his waist and hands running through his hair. He pushed you against the wall as your lips met for the first time.

It felt so right.

For the first time since you’d met, there was no holding back.

“Where’s your apartment?” he managed, pulling back only to ask.

“Mmm… over there.” You pointed at a door further down the hall which he carried you to without hesitation. You had to unwrap yourself from around him to take your keys out of your purse and unlock the door.

Your apartment was small, a one bedroom. You pushed him toward your room, crawling on top of him once he’d fallen back onto the bed.

“Are you sure?” he asked, meeting your gaze once again.

“I know it’s wrong,” you started. “But it doesn’t feel wrong.”

You kissed again.

Sex wasn’t a foreign concept to you—you’d certainly been with other people—but you were almost surprised how effortless everything was with Lin.

Clothes came off seamlessly with no need stop because of a stuck zipper. His hands were never cold and neither were yours. He seemed to know exactly what to do to turn you on and you to him.

Everything was so perfect; as if it was meant to be this way.

The days of having to show your partner what felt good or what didn’t feel good were long behind you as Lin knew exactly what to do.

With his head between your legs, he managed to pleasure every single one of your nerves. His tongue caressed you with ease. You were gripping the duvet within minutes, screaming his name in ecstasy.

He moved up, kissing you again. You could feel him pulsing between your legs in anticipation.

You had both moaned at the sensation as he slid inside of you.

What had started as sex slowly began to turn something you’d never physically experienced—art.

The moment was beautiful; almost as if you were dreaming.

Your nails had dug into his back as you fell over the edge. He buried his face in your neck, cursing during his own climax until he eventually turned over, lying beside you.

You draped an arm over him, each of you attempting to catch your breath.

There were tears welling up in your eyes.

“That was so…” you paused, feeling your voice break.

“Perfect.” he finished. His voice cracked in the process, though he made no effort to hide it. “I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life.”

“Neither have I.” you added.

“I… I’m in love with you.” he finally said.

You sat up, knowingly looking down at him.

“I’m serious. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. That was before…” he gestured to the bed. “All of this. Although the sex was amazing enough to drive that narrative home if I’m completely honest.”

The part of you that would protest his words was shrinking by the second.

At that moment, love felt like a good word to use.

It certainly felt like love as you curled up beside him, both of you sweaty, nude, and satisfied.

“I’m in love with you too.” you finally said.

It was silent for a moment.

“We should go somewhere.” he insisted.

“Like… to that coffee shop on 110th?”

“No… like we should go out of town together.” he sat up this time. “This city is full of pressure and responsibility to the lives we had before you and I met. Let’s just go somewhere for a long weekend. You and me. We can really take a few days to figure out if all of this is worth it.”

“I think we kind of knew it was already.” you smiled.

“Are you saying no?”

You sat up again, kissing him softly.

“Where will we go?”

“Wherever. If this night has been any indication, as long as I’m with you, it’ll be paradise.”

[hamilficsfordays]

Delayed Response (Lin/Reader)

Prompt:  lin/reader “You asked me to marry you under a mistletoe on Christmas morning, but I’m still a little sleepy so I didn’t really hear what you said AU.”

Author’s Note: Shortest fic I’ve ever written so… there’s that.

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader

Summary: It’s early Christmas morning and Lin, your long-time boyfriend, is dying to get you out of bed to open a really important gift. Though sleep is tempting, Lin isn’t taking no for answer.

Rating: T because of like one instance of swearing.

Warnings: Nah we cool fam

Words: 864

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write

You could feel something tapping you, pulling you out of your otherwise restful state. You tried to ignore it, but it became more persistent over time.

“Stooooop.” you groaned, pulling the duvet over your head.

“Y/N, it’s Christmas morning! We have to get up!”

“Let’s aim for Christmas afternoon.” you suggested, eyes still closed.

“This is our first Christmas living in the same apartment and you want to skip half the day?” Lin attempted to softly shake you, only causing you to roll over to his side of the bed where he couldn’t reach.

“We have to see the gifts that Santa brought us last night.” he tried.

You giggled this time. “Santa? Are you six? Is that why you’re pulling me out of bed at…” your eyes opened briefly to glance at the digital clock on the bedside table. “Seven-fifteen?”

“I just really want to see your reaction to what I got you, Y/N.”

“My reaction will be a lot more genuine after another two hours of sleep.” you reminded him, rolling back to your side.

“Just come with me, please? I promise you that it’s worth it.”

Finally, you seceded, slowly getting out of bed and following him out of the bedroom. You yawned, still clearly tired but pressed on anyway.

He stopped you in the spot between the hallway and living room where a small mistletoe hung above you.

“Wait right here.” Lin headed to the Christmas tree in the living room and pulled something out from underneath.

You leaned against the wall waiting for him, eyes drifting over to the couch. You’d bought it for the apartment because it was comfortable enough to sleep on. Suddenly it seemed so tempting.

“Y/N,” he started, returning to you. “We’ve been together for almost five years now and I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” He got down on one knee in front of you, opening a ring box to reveal a stunning diamond ring. “You make me so happy every single day. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Your eyes were still fixated on the living room when you caught the end of his speech.

“Sure, one day.” you left him, headed over to the couch to lie down.

“Uh… Y/N…” he followed you, sitting beside you.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not sure you heard what I said. I asked you to marry me.”

“Eventually.” you pulled a couch pillow under your head for support, closing your eyes again. “Let me know when you buy a ring and I’ll be there to say yes.”

Confused, he waved the ring in front of you. Eyes closed, you saw nothing.

“Y/N, I’m serious…”

“So am I.” you yawned again. “Now what was the gift you wanted me to see so badly?”

Lin rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help but smile. “Open your eyes and I’ll show you.”

Your eyes slowly opened again, Lin holding the ring directly in front of your face so that you couldn’t possibly miss it.

“Nice ring.” you mumbled.

“I’m glad you think so.” he smiled, taking your left hand in his. “I was gonna give it to this girl and ask her to marry me but I think she’s still asleep.”

“Mmm…” you nodded slowly. The words replayed in your head and you slowly came to.

You sat up, staring at Lin, at the ring, and at Lin again.

“Oh. Oh! You’re… oh my god!”

He laughed. “That took way longer than I expected.”

“You’re proposing! I—oh my god!”

“Y/N, I asked you to marry me like three times and you ignored me every time, yet somehow I’m more in love with you than I was ten minutes ago.”

Your hands covered your face, tears welling as he continued.

“Whether you’re awake or not, I can’t tell you how lucky I feel to be with you every day. So will you marry me?”

He slowly slid the ring onto your finger. You stared at it, glimmering in the sunlight that was pouring through the windows, speechless.

“I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but you still didn’t answer—”

“YES. Oh my god, I will absolutely marry you.”

You kissed then, briefly before you pulled back, eyes still fixated on the ring.

“Oh my god… Oh my god… I totally ignored you! Multiple times!”

“You did totally ignore me, but you know me, I’m not easily deterred.”

“I’m such an asshole!”

“You’re not.” He kissed your forehead. “You just had a delayed response.”

“Oh my god…” you whispered. “There’s so much to do. I have to call my parents… I have to call your parents… I have to post pictures on facebook and brag to all of my friends…”

“I mean, don’t let me stop you from going back to sleep now.”

“Yeah, like I could sleep at a time like this!”

He laughed. “Sure, now you choose to be awake.”