#i spent a lot of time crying in public tbh. lowes parking lot was the best for it

[patron-saint-of-emesis]

everyones like “are you okay!!!” and im like “im fine!” and they give me the wettest puppy dog eyes in the world bc they dont believe me. but like, i am mostly fine. im fucking spectacular as far as breakups go. babygirl you didn’t know me in 2019. in 2017. BreakUps Past. cause like yeah i’m a little bummed but also i’m not doing MDMA about it so comparatively im amazing.

[fairycosmos]

(I’m sending it again just once in case u didn’t see it before. I won’t send anymore just in case you don’t want to answer 💘)

Do you have any tips for having fun alone out of the house? I’ve been going on walks but because I’ve struggled with agoraphobia in the past I p much always go to the same park instead of trying to find new places close by. I kind of need to know where I’m going so I feel at ease, which maybe kills them whimsy of a walk lol I’ve been thinking of going to watch a movie on my own, which I’ve never done, and maybe visiting public libraries and bookshops I haven’t been to yet. Anyway, only thing I probably wouldn’t do is go out to eat cause I hate eating in public (unless it’s a lil snack, that would be fine), but other than that I’m very open! Thank u angel 💫💗🪸

hi sorry i didn't see this the first time! very proud of ya for getting out there and taking these steps, it's not easy but it's always sooooooo worth it. i cant remember taking a walk/trip i've ever regretted, especially when i'm just hanging on my own. i think the movies, library and bookshops are all wonderful ideas!! you know what i do sometimes, i just look on google maps for things to do in my vicinity and then i plan a short excursion around it, like i super low pressure and low key, i just dip in to check it out. coffee shops, parks, local classes and community centers, museums are a good one, nature trails, shopping centers, you could go and get your hair done, maybe see some local live music. hell even a gym, just to get used to being around people again, and to get out there. i felt so silly when i started doing this at first, like some sort of robot trying to participate in regular human activities, often i still do. and it takes a lot of energy out of me, i can't manage it often tbh. but getting out of my head is so fucking important for my mental health it's insane. moving through the world and seeing that it's much much much muchhh bigger than me and my worries and just being a person and not a pair of eyes sleeping or crying or looking at a screen. it can feel like a lot of pressure, but once you've done it a few times it kinda becomes something to look forward to. and if i'm not in the mood i just tell myself i will stay for 10 minutes and then head home, like i'm always aiming to be super flexible and gentle with myself so i don't get discouraged from trying at all. something else that helps me get out of the house is taking headphones for the walk, and also taking my phone/camera to take pretty pics on my way along. just makes it feel a little easier and more fun because sometimes just leaving the house at all exhausts me. but honestly i have no hang ups on doing things alone and you shouldn't either - time spent with yourself is still time spent with the world etc etc. any effort you make is absolutely going to pay off, sometimes just in a short term way, sometimes in a long term way, and sometimes both! much love, i hope you're able to find a routine that works for you. <3

[lil-papaya-tifosi]

henlo¡ i've recently found your works and they are amazing, i hope you guys can write more in the future and become bigger since everyone deserves to read your stuff. i'd like to request a ANGST one shot (it can be with either jk or jm, or with... whoever you want tbh) with chubby! reader, i feel like that minority is left out in the ff world and even if im not chubby myself i want to read different stuff and understand different feelings. hope you guys can take me into account! love you lots💜

A/N: Hey Sweetie! Dezzy here. Thank you so much for making this request. We loved working on it and love talking to you! I hope you like it!

Planning: Sunnie, Bunny, Dezzy

Writer: Dezzy

Word Count: 1837

Spring had always been your favorite time of year. The flowers blossoming, the beautiful weather, it was all so wonderful to you. For the first time in a while, your idol boyfriend, Park Jimin, was on a break, which meant he spent every second with you. You loved how caring and clingy he was, always being a cuddly person yourself. He loved showing you off and telling people about your relationship, which made you uncomfortable sometimes, but he was just proud to be yours. You were a little on the chubbier side, so you were very self conscious and insecure and mainly wore clothes that covered your body, making sure not to embarrass him by your appearance.

Today, however, you felt great. You wore a flowy sundress with a light cardigan. The weather was gorgeous so you decided to get out of the house and do a little shopping at the outdoor mall. Hand in hand, you and Jimin had scoured the racks to find summer clothes for the both of you, finding a bunch of things that looked amazing. You decided to take a little shopping break and get some ice cream in a little shop. You sit by the window, enjoying the view as you eat, making small talk as you people watch. “Aw, look at that couple. They’re so cute.” You say, pointing at a couple wearing matching light blue sweaters. “Yeah, well, we’re cuter.” He smiles at you, making you blush.

“Excuse me, miss.” You turn your head to see an adorable little boy looking brightly at you. “Hi, sweetie. Can I help you with anything?” You ask softly. “Can I feel the baby in your tummy?” He asks, and your heart sinks. Your face visually drops, but you put on a small smile, still trying to be sweet to the kid. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but there’s no baby in there.” You reply softly. “Kwongwoo! I’m so sorry, ma'am. He doesn’t have any manners.” The mother rushes over, grabbing the little boy by his arm. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” You smile, hiding your hurt. She pulls him away, and Jimin gives you a sad look, but you brush it off, not wanting to ruin the day with your insecurity. You can see the woman kneel to talk to the boy, trying to keep her voice down, but it doesn’t work.

“Darling, you can’t ask women if they’re pregnant. Some women are just a little more…” She trails off, hoping he gets the message. Apparently, he does. “Fat!” He says, proud that he finished her sentence, but sending a dagger through your heart. Your fake smile fades, and you set your bowl of ice cream down on the table. “I think I’m done.” You say, looking out the window. “Baby, you only eat half of it though.” Jimin whines, but you shake your head in protest. “I’m not hungry anymore.” You say, pulling your cardigan tighter around your body. He nods in understanding, leaving it at that.

“Ooh, let’s go in here. It looks cute.” He says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and guiding you towards a small boutique. “Jimin, I kinda just wanna go home.” You admit, not wanting to be in public anymore. “Just a few more stops. Please? I’d really love to spend my day out with my love.” He begs, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Alright.” You sigh in defeat, remembering that you can’t let your low self esteem ruin his day. He guides you into the shop, you standing back as he searches through the racks. “This would look so cute on you!” He says, grabbing a flowy flower print tank top. It is cute, but you know your arms wouldn’t look good in it. “I don’t know.” You say, looking away from it. He holds onto it, intent on purchasing it. He looks through the pants too, finding some cute high waisted shorts. “These are perfect! And they’d go great with the tank top.” He says, holding them up. All you can think about is the way your legs and all your cellulite would ruin the look. You say nothing, and he pouts a bit.

“Excuse me, ma'am?” He says, and you watch as he calls over one of the employees. “Can I get your opinion on something?” He asks her. “Jimin, please don’t.” You beg, not wanting to draw attention. “Yes, how can I help you?” She asks, and you just hide behind Jimin. “Don’t you think these would look amazing on my beautiful girlfriend?” He asks. “Oh definitely. She’s gorgeous, she could pull off anything. That dress you’re wearing is super cute, miss.” She says, and you peak out from behind his shoulder, seeing the genuine smile on her face. “T-Thank you.” You say softly. She helps Jimin check out the clothes and you’re on your way to one more store he’s been dying to take you to, full of beautiful gowns.

“Jimin, don’t you think these are all a bit too flashy for me?” You ask, looking around at all the dresses. “No way. Just like that lady said, you look amazing in anything.” He smiles, taking your hand in his as he looks around. He gasps and turns to you, smiling. “Baby, close your eyes. I want this to be a surprise.” He says with the biggest grin on his face. You shake your head softly, but do as he says, closing your eyes until he tells you to open them, the dress he chose already paid for and in a bag. “Alright. We can go home now.” He says, still smiling.

Once you get home, he brings all the shopping bags to the bedroom, calling you in there. “Now, can you please try this on? I think it’s gonna look gorgeous.” He says, holding the bag from the dress shop. You nod, and he leaves the room, leaving you alone. You pull the dress out, and it’s incredible. It was a light pink color with a ruffle top, spaghetti straps, a long skirt, with soft lace on the torso. It’s beautiful, but you’re afraid to try it on. No, you have to. He wants you to. You nod in determination as you strip your clothes off.

The dress is beautiful. You absolutely adore it. There’s one main thing you don’t love though, the way you look in it. It shows too much skin for your liking, the waistband squeezing at your love handles. You make it look lumpy, and you can’t help but tear up. It’s such a gorgeous dress you’re ashamed that you make it look terrible. It was probably expensive too. You hate wasting Jimin’s money. Maybe you can return it. The little tear drops turn into you fully sobbing as you sit down on the edge of the bed. “Baby, is everything alr- Sweetheart.” Jimin pushes the door open, rushing over you. “What’s wrong?” He asks, kneeling before you and wiping your tears. “It-its the dress.” You sob, completely breaking down.

“What about the dress, my love? What’s wrong with it? It looks amazing.” He cooes, trying his best to calm you down. “It is amazing, but I make it look horrible.” You sob, holding your face in your hands. “No you don’t. If anything, you make it look even better.” He assures you, his voice calming you down just a bit. “No I don’t. My fat arms are just on display now, you can clearly see my muffin top, my thighs are stretching out the top of the skirt. It just, doesn’t look right on me.” You tell him, not crying as much anymore but still upset. He cups your cheek, rubbing the tears away while giving you a sad smile. “Come here. I wanna show you something.”

He grabs you by your hands and gently pulls you up off the bed, guiding you to stand in front of the mirror, his toned chest pressed against your back. You see your reflection, but turn your head to avoid seeing it. “Baby, please look.” He begs, hugging you around your waist. You cave, looking in the mirror and tearing up again at the sight of you. “No no, sweetheart. Please don’t cry.” He says, reaching up and wiping your tears again before placing small kisses on your bare shoulders. “You wanna know what I see when I look in this mirror?” He asks. You nod, his chin resting on your shoulder, his hands slowly and gently running over your body.

“When I look in this mirror, I see the love of my life, the most beautiful woman in the world. Maybe not the definition of beauty to everyone else, but absolutely perfect in every single way to me. I see my girl, that looks amazing in any outfit, has the cutest smile, the sexiest curves. You give the best hugs too, you know? It’s like, with you, I can hug you as tight as I want, and I’m not afraid to break you like those toothpick hostesses on TV. I can squeeze you and kiss you and cuddle you as much as I want and I’m not afraid.” He tells you the last part while squeezing you tight, peppering kisses all over your cheek, making you giggle. “And that laugh, God that laugh is music to my ears. Y/N, do you remember when I was struggling with image issues and an eating disorder?” He asks, the memory of it breaking your heart. “Do you remember what you told me back then?”

“That you were much more than your appearance and your health is more important that your looks.” You recall. “And that you loved my cheeks being chubby because you could poke them a lot.” He chuckles. “Yeah, I remember.” You giggle, relaxing a bit. He turns you around to face him, still holding you around your waist as he brings his hand up, wiping away the rest of your tears. “Y/N, you are so much more than what’s on the outside. You’re beautiful inside and out, and I couldn’t think of a better woman for me. I just want you to see the perfect woman I see.” He says, placing a small kiss on your forehead.

Now, your tears aren’t sad, but happy. “Someday, hopefully. It’s gonna take time though.” You smirk, but he just smiles back. “Well then, I’m gonna do whatever I can to move the process along. That dress really does look amazing on you.” He tells you, looking over your body. You look back in the mirror, your newfound confidence from his sweet words making you realize you do look incredible in it. “Now, how about you take it off and get into some comfy clothes so we can have a little movie night.” He suggests. This man really does know you so well. You nod in agreement, grabbing some comfy PJ’s and changing into them before joining him on the couch for a comfy night in with the man of your dreams.

[cursedbethechoice]

Vampyr Headcanon List

I ordered this according to districts and then put major characters like McCullum at the end. I don’t have every character on here, but I’ll update this list as I think of more. Enjoy!

I also have a lot of HCs for the Priwen bosses (like Jimmy “the Spark” Barlow) that you fight in the game but I didn’t post any here. 

Pembroke Hospital

Pippa is quite chatty at home. Milton keeps mostly to himself, but he likes to listen to her chatter.

Pippa loves flowers so every so often Milton will go to Whitechapel to buy some from Camellia. He’ll leave the flower pots in Pippa’s work locker so that she finds them after her shift ends. It’s one of the only things that can make her smile.

Pippa’s hair is quite short. It used to be down to her waist, but she cut it off and sold it to buy Milton a pocketwatch for his birthday.

Even if Milton is kept alive, Pippa eventually joins The Guard of Priwen.

Mortimer is secretly stockpiling his medication for another suicide attempt.

If Beatrice Goswick dies, then Mortimer becomes involved in educational reforms in England. It gives him a sense of purpose and he tells himself that his mother would have been proud of his efforts.

Before Pembroke got overrun with patients, Gwyneth Branagan and Dr. Tippets would have afternoon tea together almost every day.

If Dr. Tippets doesn’t take any steps to deal with his drug addiction after the events of the game, Gwyneth Branagan will absolutely follow him to Cypress and stage an intervention.

Dr. Tippets thinks that if he and Gwyneth Branagan were thirty years younger he’d ask her to marry him. But then he convinces himself that there is no way that someone as wonderful as her would accept him.

Harvey Fiddick’s children visit him every day. Harvey both hates and loves these visits because he wants to see his children but he can’t stand it when they cry and ask when he’ll come home. He has no answers and that makes his children cry harder.

If they survive Vampyr, Newton Blight and Oswald Thatcher run away to Scotland and find a cottage by the sea that suits them both. The wide, open space brings Oswald a modicum of peace and there are no rats to keep Newton up at night.

 Whitechapel

Richard Nithercott secretly writes the 1918 version of fanfics about himself and Camellia.

Clayton Darby unconsciously always looks around to see if he can spot Cristina Popa walking by.

Clayton thinks about how Cristina cried when she spoke of her homeland and has a million questions he wants to ask her just so he can watch her face and her expressions. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life.

Harry Peterson mentioned that he went out without his father once. Joe came home to an empty house and nearly had a heart attack. Ran around all of Whitechapel in a frenzy until he found Harry lost in the graveyard.

When Harry was younger, Joe Peterson would carry him as much as possible. He loved being able to hold his small son in his big arms; it made him feel like a good father.

Harry spends a lot of time reading books. In a touching but misguided attempt to connect with his son, Joe has tried to pick out books for Harry but always gets genres/authors that Harry doesn’t like.

When he visited Dorothy Crane’s medical dispensary, Harry had to take off his shirt for his medical exam. He nearly passed out from embarrassment. The only woman he’d been unclothed in front of or even really spoken to was his mother, so having to unclothe in front of Nruse Crane, WHO DIDN’T LOOK AWAY, was unsettling for the poor boy.

The only reason Harry got a pass for Dorothy’s medical facility was because Camellia saw him looking out of his bedroom window, felt sorry for him, and left a bouquet of flowers on his doorstep with a voucher hidden in it.

Harry still has all the books that Barrett Lewis bought him for his birthday. He would re-read them every so often but stopped after Barrett scolded him for asking why he never came by the Peterson’s house any more.

Before his mother died, Harry’s favorite thing to do was go on walks with her. Since he is so frail he couldn’t go play with the other children, so his mother would take him to a park and keep up a comfortable walking pace. Sometimes Joe would go with them and if Harry ever got tired Joe would carry him on his shoulders.

Joe has an old, crumpled picture of Harry when he was younger that he always keeps in his pocket. He looks at it at least once a day.

Harry started carrying his dad’s pistol after that one disastrous outing he went on by himself.

Harry believes in the supernatural, just not any of the positive aspects. He found one of Clarence’s pamphlets on vampires, read it, and convinced himself that there are monsters waiting in the streets outside his house waiting to eat him.

Nothing made Barrett angrier than seeing Joe, Jane, and Harry together and happy. He’s forever bitter that Jane stayed with Joe after Harry was born and that the marriage didn’t suffer from the affair.  

Sometimes Barrett makes himself feel better by criticizing every decision Joe made as a husband/father and telling himself that he would have been better to Jane and Harry than Joe ever was.

Cadogan Bates once tried to make a pass at Camellia, but Darius Petrescue chased him off by screaming threats in Romanian.

 The Docks

Ichabod Throgmorton takes in stray animals.

Lottie Paxton has a slight crush on Sean Hampton. It makes her happy whenever he thanks her for her help around the Asylum.

Seymour Fishburn saw Lottie Paxton once and thought her pretty, although he never tries to talk to her. Lottie only knows about his terrible reputation. If he ever asked her out and she rejected him, he’d kill her.

Rufus Kingsbury always saves the best scraps of food he manages to find for Jack and Stella Fishburn. If he has to eat rotted food or go hungry so that they can eat, he will.

Dyson Delaney tried to confront Rufus about the car factory bombing. He saw the boy digging through the trash and was overwhelmed with guilt at being the reason why the boy was reduced to such circumstances. He went back to the Turtle and got so drunk that he vomited three times and passed out on top of the bar.

The only way that Tom and Sabrina end up together is if Sabrina makes the first move. Tom has too many doubts to do anything himself.

Archer Woodbead finds a Priwen patrol one night and tries to start a fight. The Brawler simply picks him up and moves him out of the way. Archer is so embarrassed that he leaves, thinking about the days when he was leader of the Wet Boot Boys and no one dared look at him the wrong way.

Ironically, Andrew Woodbead becomes a Priwen Chaplain.

Martin Nightingale walks with a slight limp because his father beat him so badly one time that he was crippled.

Martin tells himself that his extortion of Enid Gillingham is justified because he checks in on her every so often to make sure she has food. Cheating her out of her money is how he is paid for his services.

 West End

Russell Calhoun keeps snacks hidden in his pockets

Clarence Crossley often has nightmares about the vampire he saw in France and wakes up in a panic. When he first came home, Venus would always comfort him, but after he started embarrassing them in public with his talk of vampires she just pretended to be asleep whenever he would cry out.

The two biggest expenses in the Crossley household are Clarence’s pamphlets and Venus’ beauty products.

If Clarence dies without Venus having seen all the vampire lore documents, Venus relocates to North America just in time for the Roaring 20’s and parties herself into massive debt. She remarries an oil tycoon for his money.

Louise Teasdale eventually finds Ichabod Throgmorton and asks to be his apprentice. He agrees and she ends up being the one who always saves him from mishaps with the locals that he accidentally causes. (I low-key ship these two, tbh).

Although she says no man would be interested in marrying her, Carol Price dreams of her prince charming coming to rescue her one day.

Whenever he passes by the Price’s shop, Richard Nithercott always makes an exaggerated bow to Carol to make her smile.

Carolyn Price reads romantic novels and inserts herself as the heroine and Jonathan Reid as the hero.

Pericles and Agamemnon Baker are still waiting for Godot long after the events of Vampyr end.

Carina Billow has tried to take her own life multiple times. Every time, Jacob Blackwood lets her nearly succeed before forcing her to stop. And then she’s forced to eat more rats.

  Major Characters

Mary named her son after Jonathan.

McCullum is never at ease unless he has something to do. Whether it’s a goal to reach or having something to keep his hands busy, he feels antsy if he’s just standing around.

McCullum was a soldier during WWI. It’s how he learned about modern war tactics and weaponry and was able to bring this knowledge to the Guard.

McCullum actually has a pretty good singing voice and loves Irish drinking songs, but he only sings when he’s in a pub and has had a few drinks. Since he rarely has the time for such things, it’s quite the event to hear him break out into song.

The only thing that McCullum hates more than leeches is writing reports. He prefers to be out in the field, so typing away at a typewriter for hours seems like a colossal waste of time to him.

McCullum knew a lot about the supernatural before Carl Eldritch recruited him to the Guard. As the baby of the family, McCullum spent a lot of time with his mother who would tell him old Irish folk and fairy tales.

Over the years, McCullum has forgotten what his mother looked like. But he does remember the exact sound of her voice as she sang him and his brother lullabies when they were little.

McCullum knows a smattering of Gaelic. He unconsciously uses it when he’s frustrated.

Carl Eldritch, the previous leader of Guard of Priwen, never had his own family and so considered McCullum to be the closest thing he ever had to a son.

Geoffrey will never forgive himself for losing Barker, Carl Eldritch’s gun, right before the man’s funeral. He kept vigil by the grave the whole night after the funeral to make sure no vampire tried to dig his mentor up, since this was Eldritch’s greatest fear. He’s been trying to find the Barker ever since. He was not amused when Jonathan pulled it out during their fight. It enraged him even more. Pacifist!Jonathan ends up mailing it to him after he and Ashbury run off together. Yet another favor that McCullum owes him.

The Guard’s attack on the Ascalon Club wasn’t actually planned. A bunch of rookies decided to take matters into their own hands and were slaughtered. Geoffrey was furious, but he blamed himself for not being a good enough leader.

Edgar Swansea sneaks into Jonathan’s room while he’s out and about and reads all his stuff (thank God Jonathan doesn’t have an actual journal). He’s not trying to steal his research; he sees it more as an avid fan trying to get a sneak peak at his favorite author’s new work.

Edgar Swansea sweats a lot.

Usher Talltree strongly distrusts Edgar. Part of the reason why the Primate is in London is to investigate the doctor’s actions.

When she was a human, Old Bridget’s greatest desire was to have a child with her husband. Becoming a Skal tore this dream away from her, but she’s managed to cope by seeing the Skals she protects as her children.

Old Bridget and Lord Redgrave’s marriage was based on love, a rarity for their time period. They both genuinely cared for each other, but in the end it wasn’t enough for Redgrave to accept his wife after he turned her into a Skal.

Lord Redgrave justifies abandoning his wife after her transformation by telling himself that there must have been something corrupt in her, in all women, that caused her turning to go wrong. She never really loved me, he tells himself, she just wanted immortality.

There are times when Bridget remembers how happy she was with Redgrave, even though she knows his true character. In her worst moments, she aches for those days.