#i shouldn't seek external validation for my identity but

[nekoning]

being such a strong believer of you can do whatever you want forever and yet still being paranoid that my identity or how my attraction works is "wrong"

[rayday-mayday]

Just going to post this real quick to my blog to ward off a specific type of person rq: I don't support transid.

Never have and never will. Argue with a wall if you want to change my mind cuz you won't atp. I've tried to understand where yall are coming from, but can still find faults in your logic + ways you're genuinely harmful.

[ Rant under the cut about why I don't support transid. Fair warning: It's kind of really long ]

I don't care what justifications you have. If you genuinely feel dysphoria over not being abused, traumatized, disabled, a terrible person, or whatever else, then that's something you take up with a professional.

I am strictly anti-harm, anti-abuse, anti-violence, and just anything that causes harm to anyone at all. Even people I hate.

Transid inherently has a percentage of people in their community that want to transition, and considering that it has identities such as transnazi, transabuser, transgroomed, transPTSD, etc, I just can't support it.

You don't plan to "transition" yourself? Why aren't you calling out people who do? Just idly standing by when your community has a really harmful problem is also contributing to the problem. Your silence is a statement, especially if you're extremely active in a specific community.

Even if you don't support "transition" when it comes to harmful identities, where do you draw the line on what's harmful? I'd like to argue that transautistic is harmful. You cannot transition into being autistic. Full stop. Same with being ADHD, actually, but I won't get into that since I don't know much about ADHD personally.

But even if I don't know much about ADHD, what I can say is that both conditions are abnormalities in the way your brain functions and develops. And with that I mean the way it physically functions. You cannot wish your brain into developing at a different rate than an allistic, nor can you wish it into genuinely reacting differently to certain stimuli, or whatever other differences there are.

You also can't take any type of hormones/meds to change how your brain fundamentally develops, processes external stimuli, and/or processes the chemicals your brain is subjected to.

And just to prove that autistic brains in specific are different from allistic's: Here's a study just to prove my point.

That means that you cannot transition into being autistic no matter what, and attempting to do so will be nothing but pretend. And no, you can't liken this to transphobia. Gender is a social construct, unlike autism + your physical sex is malleable due to your physical sex being determines by what hormones your body produces and/or whatever genes you have (mutated or not.)

Then there's identities such as transnazi and transabuser or whatever. I don't care what dysphoria you have, you shouldn't have the want to harm people, and if you do then fucking seek support and professional help so you don't harm others.

Same goes for any type of transabused, transeatingdissorder, transPTSD or whatever else. Wanting to go through worse trauma is a normal reaction to having been through "mild" or ignored trauma, but actively identifying as having gone through "worse," or worse: actively trying to "transition" ( become more traumatized ) isn't okay, and only causes harm to yourself and others.

And no, bringing up BIID isn't valid either. Them having their limbs removed to cope with their dysphoria is a controversial stance/action even in professional spaces. Usually people with BIID get cognitive behavioral therapy, other types of therapy in general, or similar treatment. At most they'll suggest VR to live without having a limb, or suggest using things like crutches, but that's it.

Professional usually want to avoid a healthy limb being amputated, and similarly you shouldn't jump to "transitioning" if you struggle with any type of actual transid-related dysphoria.

There's also transrace, which I won't speak on too much since I'm very much white, but I can say that, in my humble opinion, it borders a little too close to blackface, yellowface, or whatever else. When it comes to POC wanting to transition into being white, maybe talk to a professional cuz there's most likely some trauma causing that urge.

And no, just because race is a social construct does not mean it falls under the same category as gender. Race is usually based off of physical characteristics that labels you as fx. black, asian, white, whatever.

While gender, on the other hand, is also based off of physical characteristics sometimes, but that isn't everything. Gender is more based on aesthetics you attribute to your identity, and includes abstract concepts such as certain colors (pink/blue fx.) being for girls/boys, glitter being seen as more feminine, while mud and that type of stuff is seen as more masculine etc. It also changes more drastically over time fx. men used to wear skirts/makeup/wigs a while back, but now those things are more so seen as feminine.

Even transage is problematic. Not because of predators or anything. While, yes, that is a problem, I have a different reasoning as to why I think it's problematic. And that's cuz it includes kids truly wanting to be treated as adults, and adults wanting to be treated truly as kids. Sure, adults can be treated as kids to some extent, but kids cannot be treated as adults, or as equals in general by adults, due to the fact that actually being 10, and feeling like you're 10 years old while being idfk 20, are two very different things.

Kids being treated as actual adults can lead to harm on their psyche, which they often cannot fully comprehend due to being younger. You know, since kids don't have enough life experience or impulse control to truly know what they're consenting to, what they're doing, etc.

This doesn't only apply to sexual activities and being in sexual communities, but also in regards to viewing violence, having adult responsibilities, etc.

Either way, If the plurality community, the agere community, and autistic community can understand this, then you should too. I'm mentioning autistic people due to the fact some autistic people are often seen, if not outright are, mentally less mature in some cases. But even then, we still shouldn't be outright treated as kids since we're still adults, and if we interact inappropriately with kids, then we shouldn't be excused either due to being "mentally younger."

Sorry if I was incoherent during this rant. I just wanted to shout into the void about my stance on this while also warding off transid people. Cuz honestly? Seeing people support transid frustrates me due to all the harmful things mentioned above.

[transqueerquestions]

A lot of people online have said that headcanoning gender non-conforming characters as trans is bad and shouldn't be done. And it makes me upset because I headcanon some gender non-conforming characters as trans and they're my emotional support headcanons. And gender non-conforming characters aren't the only kind I headcanon as trans anyway. Do you think it's okay to headcanon gender non-conforming characters as trans?

Sincerely,

A demigirl.

Tobi: Hey nonnie! I want to address a couple things in here so bear with me, but the long and short answer is you can headcanon pretty much anything you want, it’s your headcanon.

To add on, I want to address the concept of “people online have said that ____ is bad” first. Anyone can say anything online, and anyone can say anything in person. Just because some stranger on the internet says something is bad doesn’t automatically make it true, and this goes for pretty much everything. It’s always-always-important to at least take a look into who is saying something, why they might be saying it, and if it’s something you can reasonably believe yourself before taking another person’s opinion of something to heart. And this includes mine!

Secondly, I just want to quickly address the concept of gender nonconforming or GNC as it is not a gender identity but a form of expression. Being a form of expression doesn’t automatically indicate any gender identity, and both trans and cis individuals can and are gender non conforming in their expressions, so I don’t see any reason a character being GNC would prevent them from being perfectly fine to HC as trans. Gender nonconformity belongs to every gender.

Thirdly, while I can only assume the intention behind headcanoning a GNC character as trans, it seems to be rooted in an attempt to prevent people from seeing GNC expression meaning someone is automatically trans-which is true. Unfortunately, applying this thought process is actually perpetuating transphobia by enforcing the ideology that trans individuals have to express themselves a certain way. Claiming headcanoning GNC individuals as trans is “bad” is in the same breath both denying trans GNC individuals representation and encouraging the harsher gender roles and expression expectations on trans individuals in real life and in media representation.

Lastly, I wanted to add on to the first point by touching on the concept of seeking validation from others for something you want to continue doing but have heard is “bad”. While I can understand the desire-as I struggle personally with distrusting my own opinions without external validation-it’s not good for you in the long run. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the ask and I’m quite grateful to have an opportunity to talk on this subject and the specific one you’re mentioning too. However, I also want you to know it is entirely unnecessary to need “approval” for doing something that actively harms no one and benefits your own well-being.

With that being said-headcanons are for you, do with them what you will! No one can stop you!

Happy Pride Month! Please take a moment to tip your favorite queer creators - like me! ♥️