#i should rly have been tagging these posts with fear soup for a while i'm sorry

[equalseleventhirds]

as always, fear soup, episode 169 (standard warnings for quoting from the entire episode as i often do)

desolation: i mean CLEARLY

corruption! ‘when your home is compromised, invaded, corrupted’, ‘the stench begins to infect your soul’, ‘an infestation of moths or ants or bedbugs stretches itself throughout the very structure of your home until it feels like your skin is squirming’, ‘living with a hostile, toxic presence’, ‘to cherish every rusted appliance, every crumbling piece of plaster board’, ‘the widening cracks and spreading mold,’ ‘the mildewed room where her parents lie sleeping’, etc etc. lots of corruption, actually, which both gives the victims something to lose, and keeps them trapped in their rotting, flammable homes. arthur nolan talked about the corruptions as the desolation’s enemy, but in this case they work very closely together...

(sidenote whom else was shocked to learn arthur nolan was in there somewhere. i thought that fucker died AGES ago. mag 32 says he died and mag 55 tells us why and how so? what other avatars died a long time ago and are now hanging out in a domain, jonny? who else is out there, jonny???)

buried too, ‘a box in which you pack yourself away’, ‘the cramped and well-trod floors’, ‘these cramped, dingy rooms’, ‘the gain that can be squeezed from them’ (vibes w/ the buried of ‘worms’ too, who were trapped by capitalism)

and web (of course there’s web): ‘how many truly control their home?’, ‘a home you cannot control’, ‘chaining you to the front of a truck whose motion you cannot control’, ‘she is locked there by the sure knowledge that anything she touches could result in the complete loss of what small stability she has’, maybe even ‘she knows exactly what is coming because it’s all happened before’, ‘whatever strange compulsion holds her in place snaps like a wire cable’

a bit of lonely, ‘(a toxic person in your home) turning blessed relief and rest from the tribulations of the world into a choking fog of anxiety and fear’, ‘the whim of those that would let them die in the street’ (v much the idea of being lonely & feeling ostracized even in the company of other ppl, which is not a common theme in tma but is defos the domain of the lonely)

not sure if spiral or stranger (bcos those two are v close) in the line ‘exist only at the behest of faceless names that lace themselves through labyrinthine paperwork’, but it’s defos one of those things. ‘sabina cannot picture their faces’ too i think?

spiral in ‘shrieks and screams that might just be her imagination’ maybe, and i think in ‘memories that she can’t quite place but knows are precious to her’

some hunt, ‘a stalking creature of unmaintained electricals’, ‘do you see it creeping under the door to your bedroom’, ‘not indifferent, but hungry’, ‘the distant roaring, like the soft growl of a lion who never stops approaching’

vast! just a bit on the fire escape itself, ‘the impossible distance below’, ‘surely it can’t be this high’

the ‘slow trickle of a thick, dark, oozing substance’ coming from the tap is reminiscent of the dark’s fuckery with tap water, but also it might just be oil? hm.

aaaaaaaand end as sabina’s parents beg to be saved, as sabina fails to save them, as she fears her own death, as everyone knows landlords would let them die in the street. always end, below every statement.