#i should really get around to doing art
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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i got lazy in the second panel
#i love having art skill manifest out of literally nowhere#i guess i was just charging up for this shitpost or something#still no idea how to stylize n's textboxes so i've been bouncing around a bit#my favorite gag ever is when a character has an emoticon or curse bleep or whatever and other characters are just like “how did you do that#funniest thing ever to me#gonna go vanish for another 3 months while i fuel my old bird obsession and get yelled at by my coworker#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#me my boyfriend and his pile of a bunch of suspiciously familiar plushies he found in an abandoned building#suprisingly soft. you should try smothering yourself with plushies sometime#apparently i was REALLY lazy with the second panel because i forgot to two tone uzis top dialogue#btw first time two toning the dialogue if thats difficult to read then ill quit it
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a bit of my postcanon vision
i heart people arguing
#hfjone#bryce hansen#amelia euler#my art#i have beef with post-canon one stuff that just insta-fixes everything without really hashing out how some of these people could#get horrifically angry at each other... not that i think their relationships can or should be ruined forever i would just like to explore#how badly the boys treated amelia IF YOU THINK ABOUUUTT ITTTTTT#sure stone was the one to intentionally exclude her from the team but bryce+liam dont really do much to actually bring her in the loop#even when liam had months and months to tell her. he simply didnt tell her at any point what stone said about the votes being fake#and i dont knowwww i want to see amelia's tendency to lose herself in really maladaptive acceptance butt up against bryce and his like...#eagerness to leave everything behind. You understand me. you get it. anyway i have a few thousand words kicking around that will probably#never be finished or published but trust me I THINK ABOUT IT. A LOT
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little comic i made of Knuckles with Cal's family and them talking about ghosts (hmmm who could that ghost be we'll never know...)
#sonic au#knuckles gets around in my au ok he's out there he's exploring he's meeting people hahahhahahahaaaa#knuckles the echidna#sonic oc#art#fanart#digital art#comic#calliper the pangolin#im feeling shy posting my ocs and au auauugh#i should explain myself but i always wanted to do it with a fic or a comic#i don't really want to just reveal everything with a text post hmmmm
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I Depend On You
#🐟 my art#theyre so normal and healthy and good for eacjother (lying)#obsessed with their fucked up complicated relationship idk .#putting them in a jar n shaking it around#two really messed up affection starved people using the other to fill their personal voids#but theres an unwilling attachment there that neither will unpack or do anything with#like. they need eachother bc screwing around w/ eachother temporarily fills that void but they wont allow themselves#to be emotionally intimate or vulnerable with eachother really (most especially ted wont)#they wont allow to be anything more than eachothers tools so they wont really unpack just how dependent they are on eachother#but they are. so dependent#im explaining this badly but i hope u get it#hatchetfield#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#charlotte sweetly#ted spankoffski#tedchar#not sure if i should ship tag this bc its specifically an unhealthy portrayal#ill remove it if anyone asks i guess#eyestrain#neon colors
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Random hcs that have been on my mind for the past couple days: now in doodle format!
Text for each drawing written out under the cut in case it's not clear or anyone wants to translate it!
(1) <- Somehow soft?? <-Sometimes makes a comforting hum/rumble <-Holding for support
(2) <-Walks so quietly everywhere he goes <-Is about to meet god
(3) <-Can't see well in the dark (no eyelights) <-Can't help himself
(4) <-Thinks Color will turn Killer against him and convince him to run away
(5) <-Thinks Nightmare is using them all for the negativity and has brainwashed Killer into liking it
(6) <-Thinks if he runs and jumps at Cross as fast as he can Cross will lift him and it'll look so cool
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Horror Sans#Nightmare Sans#Color Sans#Killer Sans#These are all kinda random but at least I got something drawn today!!#I do really love the hc of Horror having that slasher movement about him#Because I have it too and I wanna share it with him#I can't stop scaring the people around me by entering rooms or walking up to them and I think he should have that too#It's almost always unintentional and scares him too when they suddenly yell#But sometimes... sometimes it's for funsies#Killer refuses to use a light of any kind even when he can't see so he's kind of asking for it#Also this is the short version of how I think Color and Nightmare are in a dadmare situation#They still have beef but it's like. they're both paranoid#They both think the other is gonna convince Killer to never see them again but it never happens#Maybe it gets resolved in some way but that's for another post#Also HorrorDust cuddles#Because that's the kind of nap I wanted to have earlier so I'm living vicariously through Dust#Also my first time trying to draw XChara! I hope I did okay!!#Trying to incorporate them into things slowly for Wick#Anyway I need to consider sleep goodnight gang!! :D
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something that’s been bugging me all day: how would you teach perspective drawing in a society that existed entirely within, say, a varied-gravity spaceship? so much of how we understand perspective is based on the existence of the horizon and our relationship to it. what if there’s no horizon? vanishing points as a concept depend on having a ground to be parallel or perpendicular to.
#genuinely i think it’s difficult to fully get your head around how much photography has affected the way we think about art#like. perspective drawing is WEIRD.#putting an image of a 3 dimensional environment onto a flat surface is EXPONENTIALLY more convoluted than flattening a globe into a map#and yet there’s intense debate over the ‘best’ of dozens of world map projections#but we think of photographs as objective fact#and even THEN perspective drawing is usually *still insufficient to simulate photography*#but perspective and distance are still clearly real#things that are further away look smaller#there’s even mathematical consistency to it#but how do you explain how to flatten it#to someone who’s got no idea what ‘down’ means#…i should really be getting work done#mumbling
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THE SHIT THAT YOU HATE / DON'T MAKE YOU SPECIAL
oh gucci
#gucci garantine#palisade#palisade spoilers#friends at the table#fatt#rosa art#i had fun. it's just nice to get an idea and immediately get to it!#i've been banging my head against coloring lineart so this was. really good#right back to that later i'm feelin like drawing still. i'm onto something i think conceptually.just gotta do it#maybe i should just figure out a limited palette like i did here....#it's so much busier (you know.my lineart) so that may be harder but this was fun! i should try.#also be bolder with brighter colors.#i linked the timestamp for this bit but do listen to the whole song. i love it#edit: i keep messing around with the text. sorry. final version
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Hey when your art friends share their work with you, please take note to not turn that into a vent session about how your own stuff sucks... It's just gonna make your friend feel like their art is hurting you, and they're not gonna share anymore.
#talking about this with someone#and realizing how little i share my work#cause of how often it's immediately met with some insecurities#and then after a conversation of me comforting someone and complimenting them#we get to the other side. and they never even said anything nice about my art#its happened. more often than i feel should be happening#but i know a lot of artists are insecure#and feeling jealous is normal#but like. feelings and actions...#making your friends feel bad cause youre jealous of them is not normal. dont do that#i dont even share all my work on social media lmfao#cause ive posted and then 5 minutes later seen someone post the same insecurities they did in dms#so genuinely i only share when its like. funny?#or if i just. am really proud of something#and just want to hear something nice about it#hurts to be met with silence but it happens#no one is obligated to give me compliments#its my job to create and when i do a good job i will be rewarded for that#but if im not doing a good job then. i wont! and thats on me!#but people ARE obligated to not be treating me as an object of their jealousy#and putting their emotional pain on me just cause i (looks at smudged writing on hand) drew something they liked#whatever#just thinking about it#my thoughts are not complete and i dont want this going around LOL#delete later
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rough concept for the cutscene before the last phase of the final fight; in a desperate attempt to avoid being imprisoned again (despite zelda not wanting that) he snatches the enigma stone and transforms, wrecking havoc on the ground before going for link and zelda (i like to think that a sudden transformation like that, especially when wounded, doesnt make you immediately all in control so hes kinda .. writhing in pain on the ground for a few seconds at least)
the stone is located inside of him instead of on his head again somehow and at the end of the fight link will have to fall straight into his maw to reach it and use the remedy to remove it and reverse the transformation (not gonna go into full detail again but im trying really to make it work in the most sensical way)
(totk rewritten project)
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#ganondoodles rewrites totk#ganondorf#technically#i know sketches like these with the lines still there wont gather as much attention#but they are easier to do for me#they are still just concepts after all#and i know zelda games are really afraid to show any kind of blood or actual open wound#but this is my territory now so i get to decide that#anyway i found the image of him writhing around on the ground uncontrolled for a little bit really impactful#like to show hey that transformation thing isnt anything you should do actually
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Tell me about a song you like right now, maybe an animation you just watched that made you think thoughts and feel things
Only Acting by Kero Kero Bonito!! I want to make an animatic for Macaque using this song and some parts of Shadow Play and the s4 special.. although im still mapping it and deciding whether I want to use the radio edit or not lol
#its like really really rough and mostly in my head rn bc i havent drawn lmk in a while so im a little rusty. probably need to rewatch some#eps if i want to get a good idea of what i wanna include. im also debating if i should wait until we get more context on his and wukongs#past before i do anything bc the last thing i wanna do is butcher it @_@... i was thinking of paralleling the song with the pilgrims#but because i dont actually know what HAPPENED or why mac even thinks wukong killed him thats probably gonna be important to know#but its like really cool in my head.. if u listen to the song sarahs voice uses an audio filter and there are some random glitch effects#which could be good visually for macs smoke monster and him fucking with MK in general.. spooky stuff!!!#the lyrics also speak from the pov of a performer which is what reminded me of mac in the first place so it would be fun to animate to#its in my shower playlist so when i listen to it i get really intense visualizing for what scenes i wanna do. hitting 2 birds with 1 stone#actually thats smth i do when i wanna storyboard smth.. i add it to my shower playlist bc thats where i come up with my ideas lol#but yea!!! if i ever get around to doing it id be really excited to share what i have.. i have another in mind with pigsy and MK#which is way shorter and i could probably get it done during my break... ;o)#my art#myart#ask#answered#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#liu er mihou#doodles#yapping
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Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.
The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.
#not even gonna tag this cause I don’t want to start discourse in the tags but you can absolutely still explore the concepts of patriarchy#toxic masculinity misogyny and rape culture if the genders where swapped#like those concepts don’t disappear just because Anya is a boy now cause you have to think of all the ways it applies to male victims and#I just don’t understand why people keep getting angry when people facilitate different discussion the game opens you up to#like yes I get the frustration with not seeing the conversations you want but start them go find them why complain on other posts when#people are bringing attention to similar issues and the ways they are overlooked dismissed or blame the victim#I for one think we should have more basic clarifying conversations of SA rape cultures and how toxic masculinity and sexism create scenarios#like the Tulpar and enable men like Jimmy but I also can understand and enjoy the topic being expanded upon to include other cases on a#flipped scale like yes how male centered the fandom is is annoying considering the topic but seeing comments saying that SA isn’t as harmful#to men cause they can’t get pregnant is a whole can of worms you really need to unpack cause holy shit#like in this scenario if Jimmy is pregnant and can’t get rid of the baby Anya is the father yes Jimmy is pregnant but that’s because in this#swap she assaulted a man lied to either say it was consensual he forced himself on her or like canon panicked and semi admitted to forcing#him either way he is afraid to do anything because men do get blamed for defending themselves against women in these situations not to#mention the shaming that occurs because he is a man and should step up for the kids sake and likely be told he should be proud a girl wanted#him that much like yes you have to explain it more but bodily autonomy in this scenario is just as nuanced and I can’t believe I have to#defend something being male centered in a game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst just because people are saying SA for men#is not as damaging or degrading or harmful to autonomy as it is to a woman like how can you want conversations on rape culture and shut down#people bringing up other nuances in the conversation#like people are gonna jump around with it I know but if you only want to talk about one thing stay in that sphere like I just don’t get#going to another space especially one that isn’t even being weird or toxic and starting shit cause you don’t like it like the amount of#unnecessary and mean comments on normal art of think pieces I’ve seen on Twitter is crazy like it’s stupid callout shit for the sake of just#not liking something like I’m seeing so much screen shotting and vague posting like just at the bitch and fight about it like it’s still a#relatively small fandom ur just asking for in fighting on like the few things we shouldn’t have to worry about#as a victim my self and who has been in other situations and being afab I just can’t understand the vitriol toward this sort of discussion#mouthwashing#actually I will tag this cause you can explore the themes in mouthwashing still stop being freaks and just block bitches ong
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WHAATT ??? SPOOKY MAKING ACTUAL ART AGAIN ??? thiz iz insane
★ version without text + image based on under cut :
★ song : "Goodbye to This Meaningless Everyday" – Dobu no Awa
#wowza thiz one waz kinda really super mega hard#the background waz a huge pain to make but im actually so proud of how it came out#i felt like i needed to unwind after today . especially cuz tomorrow will be a million timez more stressful . but instead i made thiz ://#ive had thiz song stuck in my head for a few dayz and wowza i needed to make smth based on it – just had to get it out of my system#also i finally drew colin again !!!! featuring some kind of important lore related stuff !!!!#young colin !!!! wow !!!! feast your eyez upon him !!!!#.....#oh who am i even kidding#nobody will care about thiz#nobody botherz with what i make anymore#why should i#itz clear that i have to give up on making mediocre art and instead focuz on getting a good job – i have no worth az a living being anyway#so might az well make myself useful ...#i have no redeeming qualities – everyone i know doezn't care for me and thatz ok#itz fine#i don't mind#some of us need to be the primary pick for natural selection anywayz#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#bro itz literally midnight i should be sleeping#what am i doing with my life bro – a time such az thiz should be dedicated to studying . not for mucking around#im such a failure child#sigh
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Remember when I drew everyone as horses lolol??? I should bring that back tbh that was fun. I can't believe these are 3 years old (yeah i can sheesh) I kinda want to bring this AU back though, it was fun and evoked happiness for me ;; my silly horsies
#Legend of Korra#Korra#Bolin#Kuvira#Baatar Jr.#LoK#LoK AU#centaurs#[ repost because I posted this at ass o'clock last night lolol#anyways you get the senior discount if you remember these!#sorry I didn't repost Asami with the rest her art is just so Not Good I'm ashamed to look at it alkjsdfsdf#but I made up for it with a complimentary Bolin!!!!#Look there he is he's here now!!!#I had drawn him along with all the others but never posted him because I wanted to post him with Mako since everyone got posted with a budd#but sadly never got around to drawing Mako c':#I should do that sometime tbh I miss this AU A good centaur AU always warms the heart and sooths the soul#I'd originally posted them with their breeds and coat colors but some folks might get changed *cough* Baatar#these were from back when I really didn't know how to draw anyone because I'd JUST gotten into drawing LoK fanart lol#Baatar doesn't even have his black uniform in this wow#I still like these designs tho buckskin roan Kuvira my pride and joy look at her ;;;;#and blue appy Korra sobs I really loved how she came out tbh one of my favorites I'd actually never drawn Korra before that#idk if I'll ever be able to recreate that shine on Baatar tho i don't even remember what I did ]#Neon Ocean Art
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miskellaneous
#tumblr is still my doodle archive#my art#venitas#ffxiv#kh#sprawl au#ooooo veni you are so creature#first of all. Bunny. Bnnuy. I would like to consider the bunny. Sorry for trapping him he’s doing plot in my brain#I drew vani a while ago but I should have made him a catboy. I will next time I draw him#second of all back in pic order#ari is trying to be kind but violence is extremely fun for him. He loves it. He loves to gloat and he loves to cackle#if he’s allowed at a target for his pent up rage and aggression he gets weird#second of all I’ve been thinking about gender as one does. And what it would look like 5000 years in the future#so like in sprawl. there’s an entire timeline of gender studies and anthropology that leads from our time#through where the entire notion COMPLETELY fell apart; through where there was a resurgence of ancient gender roles#back and forth and in circles and where new things sprung up and fell and debates about the validity of self went nuts#Xion knows a lot about it bc she will claim trans as a label vanitas also knows a lot of things because he Doesn’t consider himself#trans. vens confused he was literally never taught about any of this. unity(divine) has its own… kinda messed up way of doing it#he got lost somewhere around the advent of gene augmentation and nonhuman drag (she didn’t have to go into that detail she just thinks it’s#really cool)#(Also that was really early —)#Anyways. vanitas is also getting his sense of touch back up there. xions a miracle worker#transgender is even a slightly archaic term. it completely died for about a thousand years and then came back with a retro wave
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Day 16, final day before the Pristine Cut, my attempt at Ms. Chain Princess (possibly Prison3r but I've seen ppl speculate she's sp3ctre) from the trailer. See you all post pristine-cut 🫡
#slay the princess#stp#pristine cut spoilers#<- for anyone who wants to go in COMPLETELY blind#art#im of the opinion she's prison3r bc of all the chains + face in shadows#(prison3r seems to come from post head-abandonment so it would make sense if she's got some head weirdness going on)#i unfortunately don't really see the argument for sp3ctre#however I do agree with some of the reasoning i saw#i saw someone point out that since there are already assets in-game for a sp3ctre ending where you stab yourself while possessed#it doesn't really make sense for it to get replaced by something new#and i kind of agree tbh. like im prepared to eat my words but i think the possession-stab gambit is going to remain the same#what if we're both wrong and this is somehow dams3l tho. what then#anyway i feel a bit bittersweet about pris cut coming out#ive had so much fun in this community & knowing there's no new content after this (aside from some merch)#is a lil sad#like im sure i'll be revisiting the game plenty & probably continue creating fanart#but i am going to miss there being such active ongoing discussion around it#but I will be picking up scarlet hollow sometime and YOU SHOULD TOO!!!
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