#i should kms so he can find a better wife

[dwellordream]

“…Many parents of all classes sent their children away from home to work as servants or apprentices - only a small minority went into the church or to university. They were not quite so young as the Venetian author suggests, though. According to Barbara Hanawalt at Ohio State University, the aristocracy did occasionally dispatch their offspring at the age of seven, but most parents waved goodbye to them at about 14. Model letters and diaries in medieval schoolbooks indicate that leaving home was traumatic. "For all that was to me a pleasure when I was a child, from three years old to 10… while I was under my father and mother's keeping, be turned now to torments and pain," complains one boy in a letter given to pupils to translate into Latin. Illiterate servants had no means of communicating with their parents, and the difficulties of travel meant that even if children were only sent 20 miles (32 km) away they could feel completely isolated.

So why did this seemingly cruel system evolve? For the poor, there was an obvious financial incentive to rid the household of a mouth to feed. But parents did believe they were helping their children by sending them away, and the better off would save up to buy an apprenticeship. These typically lasted seven years, but they could go on for a decade. The longer the term, the cheaper it was - a sign that the Venetian visitor was correct to conclude that adolescents were a useful source of cheap labour for their masters. In 1350, the Black Death had reduced Europe's population by roughly half, so hired labour was expensive. The drop in the population, on the other hand, meant that food was cheap - so live-in labour made sense.

"There was a sense that your parents can teach you certain things, but you can learn other things and different things and more things if you get experience of being trained by someone else," says Jeremy Goldberg from the University of York. Perhaps it was also a way for parents to get rid of unruly teenagers. According to social historian Shulamith Shahar, it was thought easier for strangers to raise children - a belief that had some currency even in parts of Italy. The 14th Century Florentine merchant Paolo of Certaldo advised: "If you have a son who does nothing good… deliver him at once into the hands of a merchant who will send him to another country. Or send him yourself to one of your close friends... Nothing else can be done. While he remains with you, he will not mend his ways."

Many adolescents were contractually obliged to behave. In 1396, a contract between a young apprentice named Thomas and a Northampton brazier called John Hyndlee was witnessed by the mayor. Hyndlee took on the formal role of guardian and promised to give Thomas food, teach him his craft and not punish him too severely for mistakes. For his part, Thomas promised not to leave without permission, steal, gamble, visit prostitutes or marry. If he broke the contract, the term of his apprenticeship would be doubled to 14 years. A decade of celibacy was too much for many young men, and apprentices got a reputation for frequenting taverns and indulging in licentious behaviour. Perkyn, the protagonist of Chaucer's Cook's Tale, is an apprentice who is cast out after stealing from his master - he moves in with his friend and a prostitute. In 1517, the Mercers' guild complained that many of their apprentices "have greatly mysordered theymself", spending their masters' money on "harlotes… dyce, cardes and other unthrifty games".

In parts of Germany, Switzerland and Scandinavia, a level of sexual contact between men and women in their late teens and early twenties was sanctioned. Although these traditions - known as "bundling" and "night courting" - were only described in the 19th Century, historians believe they date back to the Middle Ages. "The girl stays at home and a male of her age comes and meets her," says Colin Heywood from the University of Nottingham. "He's allowed to stay the night with her. He can even get into bed with her. But neither of them are allowed to take their clothes off - they're not allowed to do much beyond a bit of petting." Variants on the tradition required men to sleep on top of the bed coverings or the other side of a wooden board that was placed down the centre of the bed to separate the youngsters. It was not expected that this would necessarily lead to betrothal or marriage.

To some extent, young people policed their own sexuality. "If a girl gets a reputation of being rather too easy, then she will find something unpleasant left outside her house so that the whole village knows that she has a bad reputation," says Heywood. Young people also expressed their opinion of the moral conduct of elders, in traditions known as charivari or "rough music". If they disapproved of a marriage - perhaps because the husband beat his wife or was hen-pecked, or there was a big disparity in ages - the couple would be publicly shamed. A gang would parade around carrying effigies of their victims, banging pots and pans, blowing trumpets and possibly pulling the fur of cats to make them shriek (the German word is Katzenmusik). In France, Germany and Switzerland young people banded together in abbayes de jeunesse - "abbeys of misrule" - electing a "King of Youth" each year. "They came to the fore at a time like carnival, when the whole world was turned upside down," says Heywood. Unsurprisingly, things sometimes got out of hand. Philippe Aries describes how in Avignon the young people literally held the town to ransom on carnival day, since they "had the privilege of thrashing Jews and whores unless a ransom was paid".

In London, the different guilds divided into tribes and engaged in violent disputes. In 1339, fishmongers were involved in a series of major street battles with goldsmiths. But ironically, the apprentices with the worst reputation for violence belonged to the legal profession. These boys of the Bench had independent means and did not live under the watch of their masters. In the 15th and 16th Centuries, apprentice riots in London became more common, with the mob targeting foreigners including the Flemish and Lombards. On May Day in 1517, the call to riot was shouted out - "Prentices and clubs!" - and a night of looting and violence followed that shocked Tudor England. By this time, the city was swelling with apprentices, and the adult population was finding them more difficult to control, says Barbara Hanawalt. As early death from infectious disease became rarer the apprentices faced a long wait to take over from their masters. "You've got quite a number of young men who are in apprenticeships who have got no hope of getting a workshop and a business of their own," says Jeremy Goldberg. "You've got numbers of somewhat disillusioned and disenfranchised young men, who may be predisposed to challenging authority, because they have nothing invested in it."

How different were the young men and women of the Middle Ages from today's adolescents? It's hard to judge from the available information, says Goldberg. But many parents of 21st Century teenagers will nod their heads in recognition at St Bede's Eighth Century youths, who were "lean (even though they eat heartily), swift-footed, bold, irritable and active". They might also shed a tear over a rare collection of letters from the 16th Century, written by members of the Behaim family of Nuremberg and documented by Stephen Ozment. Michael Behaim was apprenticed to a merchant in Milan at the age of 12. In the 1520s, he wrote to his mother complaining that he wasn't being taught anything about trade or markets but was being made to sweep the floor. Perhaps more troubling for his parents, he also wrote about his fears of catching the plague. Another Behaim boy towards the end of the 16th Century wrote to his parents from school. Fourteen-year-old Friedrich moaned about the food, asked for goods to be sent to keep up appearances with his peers, and wondered who would do his laundry. His mother sent three shirts in a sack, with the warning that "they may still be a bit damp so you should hang them over a window for a while". Full of good advice, like mothers today, she added: "Use the sack for your dirty washing."

- William Kremer, “What medieval Europe did with its teenagers.”

[sweetlittlevampire]

I feel so bad.

Like, I wanna say something to my uncle's wife and my cousin, but my uncle passed today, and I kinda wanna wait until tomorrow before I reach out just so everything can settle for a bit.

But also - I don't have my cousin's number anymore, and I really don't wanna talk to her mother if it can be avoided, so I'll have to do it via socmed/text, which is...the height of impersonality. I know that.

The last time someone in our family passed and they were involved, it was my grandmother, ten years ago. I couldn't attend the funeral because I was abroad - I arrived a day after the funeral, having to rely on other people to bring me home because I have no driver's license. My uncle's wife had nothing better to do than to call me a "stone-cold bitch" for it and witch hunt my mother so much that she had an MS flare-up out of stress, so violent that it put her in hospital for six weeks. My dear cousin, who visited my grandma once while she was in the care home, despite her workplace being 15 minutes away - while I visited multiple times every time I was in the country because I lived 700 km away from home at that time - told me that she was "hurt and disappointed by my actions, but would forgive me because I showed goodwill."

So. That's why I never visited because it was impossible to visit my uncle without crossing paths with his wife. That's why I don't know what to say to her, because there IS a valid chance that we will be met with reproaches and blame again, and I don't know if my mother and I can handle that.

(My mum never visited because it's impossible for her to take the steps to their flat. They never visited us, either.)

My uncle was my father's older brother. My grandma's middle child. The quietest of the three. He had severe asthma as a kid and was bullied a lot because of it. He never spoke in school, which brought up concerns with his teachers at home he would only talk with his mama.

As an adult, he was someone who didn't fare well with people who were too loud. He was very funny, and a very gentle soul. He always loved to take care of me and play with me when I was still very little; he often picked me up and drove me home to my parents when I had been at my grandparents' house in the afternoon.

I know that he loved his wife and daughter, but they didn't get on too well, because both his wife and daughter are very loud people who argue in screaming matches, while he always preferred to discuss things in a civil manner. We always used to joke that, temper- and personality-wise, he would have been a better father for me than I was, and my cousin would have worked out better with my father...and it's kind of true.

Now he's gone. I haven't seen him in a decade. He was the last person I ever danced with, at my other cousin's wedding. A tango, which I knew how to dance, while his wife laughed at him for even suggesting they dance and then sulked when he asked me and I agreed to dance with him.

I didn't cry immediately when my grandmother died. I knew she wouldn't be there for much longer, but I still needed time to process it.

I didn't cry when my father died. Didn't cry to this day. Given what he did to my mother and me, I believe that to be understandable, even when the whole family judged us for it.

Now, I find myself on the verge of tears at the loss of my uncle, who was the gentlest creature in the whole family. To be frank, it feels a bit like betrayal towards my grandma, and even towards my father, which is the most absurd thing to come from this.

Maybe I should have visited. Pretty sure I should have. My uncle was always gracious and kind and gentle and funny to me; the fact that his wife, this vitriolic person, would have been there too, shouldn't have kept me from doing so. Maybe they would be right in putting blame on me.

I just really don't know how to react. I keep on overthinking stuff, even worrying about whether I still have anything black to wear - as if that was of any importance now. It's not even sure we'd be able to attend a funeral, with Covid cases rising again. We'll have to wait and see.

I just feel lost. I really don't know what to do.

[twiggyrps]

There's nothing wrong with Johnny depp

He did Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and The lone Ranger so there’s definitely something wrong with him.

But I'm going to indulge you and after that, anyone defending him will be ignored. Because even only allegations should be enough for someone to question why they idolize someone. And guess what, two people can be abusive toward each others, making them both abusive person separately.

TW: DRUGS, ALCOHOL, ADDICTION, ABUSE, VIOLENCE, FIGHTING, RACE FAKING, RACISM

First, let's get to the core of it, the years of accusations made both by Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. You all say that someone is innocent until proven guilty ( a concept most fail to understand ) but turn a blind eye when court actually rules in the victim's favor. When Depp libelled case against NGN, who called him a wife beater was ruled against him, none of you seemed to understand what it meant. If it wasn't libel, it meant the court made a ruling saying that it was true. The judge ruled that he put her in legitimate fear for her life, and that there were overwhelming evidences he did assault his ex-wife. The court also concluded that 12 of the 14 charges made by Heard against Depp were proven to the civil standard, which is the standard for a civil lawsuit, opposed to guilty beyond a reasonable doubt in criminal cases. And guess what? I can read all that, find him guilty, and still think Amber Heard isn't that much of a better person for other reasons. Depp himself admitted to substances addictions, many of which make people paranoid and violent.

Now, on the other issues that deem him problematic. What, there's more? Yes, there is!

Claims of being potentially native without any proof. Let me tell you something, a man who can spend more than 23k a month for wine has the resources to do a full professional genealogy, which could prove his claims. But he did nothing of the sort.

Punching, and then trying to bribe, a crew member on set. He was drunk and was often seen taking drugs on set. If only there was a pattern here...

Being sued for unpaid wages and creating a toxic work environment.

Compared doing a photoshoot to being raped.

Said in an interview that Bin Laden could have been found sooner if the US dosed the area with LSD. A very tasteless joke, again. There's a lot more in it too, like how he finds racist jokes funny.

In 1989, he was arrested for assault when under the influence.

In 1991, Police in LA chased him for 3 miles ( almost 4 km ) because he was driving recklessly. He was arrested for the incident.

In 1993, he was arrested after jaywalking. Reports on why varies and he blamed the cops. It's still another arrest on his record, that is getting long for someone who has done nothing wrong.

In 1994, he was arrested after a fight with then girlfriend, Kate Moss. But I guess the armadillo did it. He was 31 while Kate Moss was 20.

It might all be gossip but apparently a longtime friend of Depp’s said: “Instead of hitting women, he just gets angry and lets off steam in other ways.”

In 1999, he was arrested for physically threatening a paparazzi.

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Liam

aleeunayzhun: anyone else think the ‘monster’ addition was totally unnecessary and has taken away from what was a mildly intriguing ARG concept beforehand?

aleeunayzhun: 🙄 back on the trail for a new rabbithole to fall down

level26: Yeah, axed it for me

aleeunayzhun: the paranormal route can be alright if it’s done right but usually it ain’t and then it’s a cop-out, PM definitely didn’t think where they were going with this

aleeunayzhun: the ones that rely on the real world but twist it are always scarier to me, no one ever has the balls to stick with it, to not throw in some bullshit ghost jumpscares to get the idiots with

level26: creepypasta is where it ends up with barely no exceptions

aleeunayzhun: mhmm

aleeunayzhun: and no one has shanked their mate over anything on there in time

level26: got a few I’ll volunteer if the next 🐇 is more of this or promo again

aleeunayzhun: If one more shitty band thinks throwing out some binary or morse code makes them any less shit, I’ll join you

level26: dednah tfel neve t'nia ylbaborp yeht

aleeunayzhun: imij erew yeht hsiw yeht

level26: 👅💔🍆💔🎸💔

aleeunayzhun: 💔 they reckon hot groupies hang about on reddit

level26: trolls are their groupies, they can only be fuelled by edgy r/hate 🤘

aleeunayzhun: awh, r/hate is only a degree away from r/love after-all

level26: just like that, a plotline that’d be less crap than [whatever this ARG we’re slagging off is called]

aleeunayzhun: not gonna start my annoying beg promo in here quite yet but how hard was that, really

level26: us both being spam bots is still a better twist than the monster did it

aleeunayzhun: Привет, дорогая, хочешь увидеть мои сексуальные фотки? Hажмите ссылку СЕЙЧАС! [‘Hello dear, do you want to see my sexy pictures? Click the link NOW!’ And a link to god knows what lmao]

level26: NO soundcloud rapper link?! 💀 what an r/cockblock

aleeunayzhun: how’d you guess 😏

level26: my paranormal powers kicked in, clicking that link must’ve leveled me up

aleeunayzhun: advert for communism? 🤔🤫

level26: find me and my sick beats on r/motherrussia

aleeunayzhun: MK Ultra is definitely taken by about 1000 other shit DJs

aleeunayzhun: and is the poorly executed plot of several other ARGs I’ve also given up on

level26: KM Extra is my personal fave shit DJ, really doing something

aleeunayzhun: the fact I genuinely know who that is 😷😷

level26: I noclipped into his set at [somewhere she would have heard of even if she’s not been] talk about an eldritch location

aleeunayzhun: you must’ve felt like the only player in a crowd of NPCs 🧟‍♀️🧠💀🧟‍♂

level26: close enough to the review I would’ve left

aleeunayzhun: I’ll leave it

aleeunayzhun: I know the coordinates

level26: I’ll 👀 out for it

level26: you on moscow standard time or one of the other 10?

aleeunayzhun: I’m the Russian spy, I hack you, comrade

level26: ❤️ tôi cũng cam kết với chính nghĩa cộng sản ❤️ [with some link to the Communist Party of Vietnam because we’re saying we’re as committed to communism]

aleeunayzhun: [links to the Communist Party of Ireland to be like obvs we have both worked out we’re actually from here

level26: cracked the code, like, full props to KM Extra

aleeunayzhun: Only in Dubo would that shit fly

level26: they’d eat his head off outside the pale, yeah, galway’d be having none of it

aleeunayzhun: what they got but a bunch of rocks though

level26: easy pick for the murder weapon

aleeunayzhun: you’d never get far enough in the guinness factory to drown someone in a vat 💔

level26: could do if you got a job as manager and closed for essential maintenance

aleeunayzhun: 💡

aleeunayzhun: won’t do no harm to the taste

level26: iron boost if he’s bleeding heavily when he goes in

aleeunayzhun: delicious and nutritious

level26: ARG coming soon from guinness

aleeunayzhun: bastards better give credit

level26: they can have it, we’re not short of ideas

aleeunayzhun: and you ain’t heard nothing yet

aleeunayzhun: not making it that easy for the wannabe PMs with none of their own

aleeunayzhun: 🔐the real ones

level26: fair play, given enough freebies out in this thread

aleeunayzhun: 🤐

aleeunayzhun: [later on though definitely some way to contact her privately but in a way that you’ve got to work it out of course]

level26: [at least then we can switch to y’all’s names ‘cause I can’t think of a username for the life of me lol]

Edie: [You can add it later and change it, it’s fine lol]

Liam: 🔓

Edie: 1 🔑 for 1 💎

Edie: Suitably impressed

Liam: if I knew anywhere that loaded a 💎 into the gun I’d be off but what’s impressive about a swollen and green ear

Edie: Impressive, no; but good footage for the game? Absolutely

Liam: I’d do it here to have time to mess about with all the lighting and angles

Edie: you’re 🎥

Edie: not enough have actual artistic merit so fair play

Liam: but thinking about it, recording the conveyor belt of a trainee stabbing holes in screaming babies ears all day could have some merit to it, maybe I should get myself up

Edie: you can buy anything and everything from bezos

Edie: live your dreams

Liam: putting my dreams on tape would be worse than the monster reveal

Liam: cheapest jumpscares and effects

Edie: not to mention outing yourself to the whole thread, not just me

Liam: how many teachers would crawl out the woodwork if there was a mass reveal

Edie: to offer you the school’s stellar mental health services

Edie: the one nurse phoning it in

Liam: find my dad lurking on the thread too, that’d be a trip

Edie: unexpectedly wholesome

Edie: I’ll start hiding caches where my dad hides his stashes

Edie: unintentional rhyme

Liam: bars 🎼

Edie: @ KM Extra

Liam: Fachtna to his ma who thinks he’s a saint

Edie: Oof

Edie: ARG concept no. ? the horror of the Irish language

Liam: my ma would be 😱 if I went and hugged her for not doing me that wrong

Edie: not the audience we aim to 😱 really

Liam: too easy

Edie: almost as easy as your name to spell and say

Edie: you even from here 👽

Liam: wouldn’t take enough working out to set you as a test, records are basically lying about

Edie: nothing relating to school is a challenge

Liam: just getting that nurse to give a shit

Edie: if she reckons she’s 👀 it all…

Liam: front row of our intended audience

Edie: splash zone

Liam: she’s never off her phone, spy like you won’t have no problem hacking it

Edie: her nudes = actual monstrosity

Liam: dunno what Mr Doyle sees in her

Edie: yeah, he’s such a looker himself, like

Liam: his wife used to be pretty fit

Edie: don’t matter when she explains how and why people cheat

Edie: psychobabble gets ‘em off every time

Liam: if they taught psychology nobody’d be off each other or learning anything then

Edie: sounds like any other standard schoolday

Liam: that's what they’re getting up to in your class, is it

Edie: as cliche as the monster, yeah

Liam: 🔥🏫

Edie: hear hear

Edie: got to make the endless fire drills worth it one day

Liam: can’t miss me standing in line or not

Edie: then I won’t

Liam: next false alarm I pull

Edie: + 💎

Liam: + 👀

Liam: dont have to hate every cliche

Edie: not the good ones

Edie: all about how you use or misuse them

Liam: can you overuse eye contact

Edie: I can

Liam: I can make a kubrick stare work however many takes you wanna do

Edie: you don’t think I’m a one-take 🌟

Liam: I’ve not shot you

Edie: 🤯🔫

Liam: I’m not a one-take 📷📹

Edie: is that a brag for not suffering from premature ejaculation?

Liam: do you need that reassurance

Edie: I don’t know

Liam: I’ll think about other unsexy shit if your eyes start getting to me too much

Edie: Ha, yeah right

Edie: just don’t think about the 🔥

Liam: 🚒 buzzkill

Edie: 🚓 cockblock

Liam: 🚑 scene stealers

Edie: 🛸 out of here

Liam: before you can get stuck there as a 👻

Edie: Purgatory is preferable to that place forever

Liam: stay alive and it’s simple to get out of 🏫

Edie: I’ll leave my bag behind

Edie: 1st rule and only, really

Liam: don’t really need a pile of textbooks

Edie: I doubt that’s what you carry

Edie: I know I don’t

Liam: I can get more of what I do and I bet you could too

Edie: Bars

Liam: 😏

Edie: You’ve promo’d him a lot if you ain’t him

Edie: KM, like

Edie: bit sus

Liam: you said you know who he is, you know I ain’t

Liam: maybe I love him or some gay shit

Edie: none of his tracks sound like love songs

Liam: guess he don’t love me back

Edie: Oh honey

Edie: lock him in when you set the fire

Liam: he can keep spitting out those fuck yous til the end

Edie: dedication ✊

Liam: and +++ for morale

Edie: what a lad

Liam: love triangle is a cliche too far, take a deep breath or something

Edie: bit possessive

Liam: directors are dicks

Edie: and the heartbroken

Liam: yeah, couldn’t be kind to you if I wanted

Edie: I’ll survive

Edie: you’ve given me the heads up, I’ll give you the 👀

Liam: respect killing me with your 👀 and taking him for yourself

Edie: who could blame me

Liam: my ma as I’m dead, like

Edie: true

Edie: i’ll avoid her at the tescos

Liam: 🛒 dash

Edie: got a selection of my own

Edie: [picture because the random crap you would have in the barns lmao]

Liam: [a picture of one he stole at some point that’s on fire or been blown up or whatever]

Edie: 👏

Edie: what else can we 💥

Liam: got any barns you don’t use

Liam: or 🚜 stuff

Edie: loads

Edie: if you’re lucky, I’ll leave another 🔑

Liam: got another ear to put a 💎 in, luck’s gonna run out beyond it

Edie: sounds like some gay shit, you should

Liam: 👌

Liam: [pics when we’ve done this because of course we have, casually raiding either your mother or sister’s jewellery stashes here like]

Edie: Oh

Edie: actually looks kinda sick

Edie: you’re welcome then

Liam: I’ll send the footage when I’ve edited it

Edie: I look forward to it

Edie: I can’t give you any clues

Liam: what makes you think I need em

Edie: [idk how to differentiate but clearly the clue to where you live needs to be much harder to find and then decode lmao]

Liam: [awkward when he blatantly already knows where you live]

Edie: [do not even need to do the work, whoops]

Liam: [convincingly pretend you are though please]

Edie: [thank god he’s not a murderer even if he is a stalker, just giving out this info willynilly]

Liam: [not your stalker, it’s FINE]

Edie: [oh dear oh dear]

Edie: I’ll know when you work it out

Liam: yeah, I’ll show up 📷📹🌾

Liam: or send a 📦💣 if you wanna take things slow

Edie: you decide

Edie: I’ll shake all the packages extra hard

Liam: cancel the real 🐇 I thought about

Edie: animal cruelty is lamer than bed wetting

Liam: never even tipped a 🐄

Edie: they’ll appreciate it

Edie: anyway, if you did, punishment is letting them kick you in the face so you lose in the end

Liam: head injury’s a win if I get caught for the 🔥🏫 or being seen staring in your window

Edie: 😍🤤 just serial killer things

Liam: pretend I didn’t say KM’s gonna be my 1st victim

Edie: I’ll never feel special otherwise

Liam: you don’t feel special knowing I cracked your code

Edie: if anything, it makes you look smart and me not smart enough

Liam: you’re smart enough that I wanted to

Edie: I’m not going to ruin it with a cliche jumpscare now

Liam: me either, you’re smart enough too to see me coming

Edie: and you’re tall, so I hear

Liam: dunno where from, my dad’s not

Edie: he’s definitely your dad?

Edie: I may as well accuse your ma because I’m already avoiding her for the whole killing you thing

Liam: don't act like it which probably means he is

Edie: ha, real talk

Edie: I think you might be taller than mine

Edie: he’s 6’2

Liam: ha, I am

Edie: you’re the tallest person in school, possibly town

Edie: definite 👽

Liam: taking their time parking the ufo and picking me up, typical dad

Edie: did they forget ET or leave him here on purpose

Edie: he was fucking annoying

Liam: if I looked that much like a ballsack I’d understand

Edie: 😂

Edie: least you’d get to get fucked up with baby Drew Barrymore

Liam: baileys on cereal does taste sick, always down for that

Edie: yum

Edie: what do your fingers look like

Liam: [a video of his hands from lots of angles like hello]

Edie: hot

Edie: you can call me Elliot

Liam: or just call you instead of home

Edie: 😎 so smooth

Liam: what’s my ma gonna say, get back, talking to you is smarter

Edie: I’ve got time to set up the voice distorter so you’re not disappointed by the lack of crEEEEeeeEPpPPpyyyyYy vibes

Liam: and I’ll have loads of time to hear how you sound without it when I stake your house out

Edie: I’ll be sure to be loud

Edie: and not chat total inane shit with my family

Liam: you got your own room

Edie: technically not

Edie: but there are other rooms and places to crash in, when I wanna be alone

Liam: there’s my excuse to zoom in creeEEPpILY close 👀 when you’re not

Edie: very awkward and even ruder if you confused me for my sister

Edie: no one’s done that for ages

Liam: how were they ever doing it

Edie: we’re both the white ones, they just didn’t know which was which

Liam: can’t be a hard code to crack, not gonna be confusing you for anyone

Edie: good

Edie: it was pretty annoying

Edie: and I’m already your second victim as it is

Liam: partner in crime, or groupie to mine if you’re not getting actively involved, but still standing at the end

Edie: hope you’re writing some of these down

Edie: ‘cos I’m not gonna be your groupie

Edie: got my own scores to settle, own havoc to wreak

Liam: don’t need to write down I don’t want you to die, I’ll remember

Edie: it rhymed though

Edie: I’ll steal your lines then

Liam: write as many songs about me as you want, be your groupie til I get 🛸✌️

Edie: [send your music links because you ain’t]

Edie: give me a sec to do yours but pretend any of these are about you

Liam: this is you

Liam: serious

Edie: yeah

Edie: if I was gonna lie I’d have done that a few steps ago

Liam: I’m gonna lie they’re all about me

Edie: that’s what serious meant

Liam: it meant I’m impressed and you’re downplaying how smart you are

Edie: you can be my hypeman and overplay it

Liam: [does by uploading this edited ear piercing escapade with whatever song of hers we like and fits the vibe playing in it, giving her credit because we’re not a heathen and also putting on his stories that he’s listening to these tracks and hyping them how you can]

Edie: [so 😍 over this but trying to be chill somehow and somewhat even though we’re extra af anyway]

Edie: maybe I do wanna be your groupie

Edie: what do you want from me

Edie: like, I owe you and I want to give you something too, ‘cos

Edie: talking to you IS interesting

Edie: and not just because I could be talking to my ma or someone else really boring instead just ‘cos you are

Liam: [for real though her views would definitely go up cos the vibe is he knows loads of people through his sister but also through his weird vids and the raves and stuff he goes to now too so]

Liam: all I want’s to keep talking to you, for as long as you’re into it

Liam: people don’t unless we’re off our faces, like

Edie: my notifications are popping off rn

Edie: I know what you mean though, everyone’s too scared to say or do anything when they don’t have something to blame it on, like being stupid or weird or whatever the fuck actually matters

Edie: more than being bored and alone

Liam: dunno what they’re more scared of, what they wanna ask or how I’m gonna answer, least I know what the topic’ll be

Liam: every convo I have is a loop

Edie: all anyone ever cares about and knows is the headlines

Edie: as if there aren’t countless hours minutes seconds before and after the big events they all 👀 and 👂

Liam: work out sweet for you as a headliner

Edie: Getting them to talk about what I’m doing instead of whatever my parents and the rest of the fucking fam did or do is the goal

Liam: with me hyping you up, no bother, keep knocking out hits and I’ll promo em with no trace of binary or morse code

Edie: and you make films

Edie: I wasn’t sure if you were pissing about at first

Edie: every other person in that thread is an aspiring filmmaker so

Liam: did put me off for a while

Edie: Yours aren’t going to be bad Blair Witch ripoffs though

Edie: I can say that much without seeing

Edie: even the stuff you’ve sent today is dope

Liam: do you wanna see

Edie: yes

Liam: [link her cos I doubt all the weird shit is just there chilling on your insta or whatever]

Edie: [just casually watching all of this nbd]

Liam: siht ekil kool annog weiver ruoy

Liam: или, может быть, это

Edie: hoặc tôi có thể làm như thế này [‘or I could do it like this’]

Edie: si ffuts ruoy kniht i looc woh edih annaw tnod i tub

Liam: ba mhó an spraoi é a cheilt agus a lorg go pearsanta [hide and seek would be more fun in person]

Edie: If you’ve worked out where I live like you say

Edie: be fair and count to 100

Liam: you reckon you made it that easy do you

Liam: be cool if you added some 00s to that and gave me a fair chance

Edie: no, you could still be anyone

Liam: someone to be scared of, yeah I probably am

Edie: Do you want me to be scared of you

Liam: nah

Edie: Good because I’m not and I never promised I was a 🌟 so

Liam: 🤩 with or without promises

Edie: How have I never spoke to you before

Edie: so weird

Liam: I wouldn’t have known what to say to a girl like you

Edie: You seem like you’re coping fine to me

Liam: from behind a keyboard I can cope with anything

Edie: You’re not afraid of me either

Liam: not yet

Edie: What do you think I’m like?

Liam: smart, creative, nice to talk to and look at

Edie: then you’ve got nothing to be afraid of

Liam: I’ve got nothing, that’s bang on

Edie: I’m not trying to take anything from you

Edie: but I could throw those compliments back to you x 10000

Liam: you don’t like possessive, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do

Edie: I didn’t say that

Edie: you could claim better than a soundcloud DJ though

Liam: been waiting to hear that compliment specifically

Edie: 😏

Edie: You look like you’d be a fuckboy

Edie: that’s what I thought

Edie: you’re that good-looking

Liam: if I was the game’d be making you think I wasn’t, which is kinda where we are

Edie: True

Edie: so I’m that dumb or you’re that good, what are we going for?

Liam: you’re smart enough to play dumb, I don’t think I can aim for god tier puppet mastery of anyone’s emotions

Edie: I can see the appeal of that

Edie: closing you eyes to thing you don’t wanna see, to see the things you do

Edie: but mine are wide open

Liam: I ain’t mad, there’d be no appeal to yours being closed, unless you drop bars in your sleep too

Edie: you’re gonna find which window is mine and find out, yeah

Liam: wake you up before you name drop KM as it’s MY thing

Edie: that’s your man, I can respect it

Liam: exclusivity is a + for you then, I’m taking notes

Edie: I don’t really know

Edie: everyone’s lame

Liam: I’ve been there, yeah

Edie: I can’t fake enthusiasm for the sake of it

Liam: it’s a shite idea, doable or not

Edie: I don’t intend to

Edie: 🤞

Liam: can’t think why you’d have to

Edie: I won’t make you promise

Liam: what’ll you make me do

Edie: I want you to show

Edie: and be real and not just go ghost after this

Edie: but I don’t know if you will and I know you might

Liam: be a short afterlife, we don’t get american summers

Edie: we both got the capabilities, but I can promise not to stalk you if you like

Edie: if you want to stick to usernames and anonymity

Liam: not working out where you are to prove I can and a face in the window haunting wouldn’t even impress any dads lurking on the thread

Edie: Alright but I’d be more inclined to keep a secret if you asked opposed to all the dads

Liam: I wouldn’t wanna keep anything we do secret

Edie: Yeah?

Liam: if this is a scam I’m falling for everyone’ll see why and if it’s not I’m gonna document everything

Edie: I won’t ask for your credit card details even once

Edie: This is… different

Edie: isn’t it

Liam: you can have my ma’s, you’re avoiding her and the big tescos

Liam: I don’t know what this is, I wasn’t expecting you at the end of any of those links

Edie: It IS the least she could do

Edie: If I had a guess, you weren’t it

Edie: Even though you mentioned Dubo, it isn’t that small of a town

Liam: ha, how livid you’d be if I was another american coming here for the culture

Edie: not close enough to st patrick’s that I was worried

Liam: how did you feel

Edie: I thought no way it was you at first

Edie: and then I couldn’t believe it was you

Edie: and then that I should’ve known you sooner

Edie: what about you?

Liam: I still can’t believe it’s you, I would’ve tried to chat to you sooner if I knew this is how it’d go

Edie: I’m glad we are now

Edie: and I’ve not fucked it up

Liam: if the small world’s not fucked it up, you won’t

Edie: like you said, be shit if you were in America

Liam: be crap if you were anyone else from school, like you said

Edie: If it was anyone else from school

Edie: this convo would be well over by now

Liam: it’s the longest I’ve had for years

Edie: It’s all so surface level, right

Edie: fuck that

Edie: I wanna know more about you, I don’t care if I shouldn’t just say that

Liam: what do you wanna know

Edie: Hmm

Edie: Do I only get the one question?

Edie: Because I’ll think more carefully if so

Liam: nah, there’s no limit on it

Edie: Cool

Edie: so how was your day, and what were you doing just before you went on the forum?

Liam: [send her a video of some rave or whatever you were at because it’s summer bitches]

Liam: + 3-4 hours sleeping

Edie: Lucky

Edie: where’d you sleep and where’s the weirdest place you’ve got + 3-4 hours sleep before?

Liam: [send her some of the blooper-esque stuff you cut out to make it look more fun than it is, cos we know you’re usually bored]

Liam: home, I can’t 💤 in random xD places but I could call your dad short and maybe have him in a fight

Edie: that’s hot

Edie: he could’ve been there and you coulda tested that theory

Edie: but I wanna be there when you do

Liam: you’d have a shite view from the stage with lights blinding you, can’t let on how talented you are while we’re there

Edie: 😶

Edie: he’s not old so it’s not on a par with animal abuse lameness

Liam: and if I get carried away you can stop me

Edie: can I

Edie: + skill points

Liam: 🎶 works on monsters

Edie: have to find a way to get you home before the 💤 hits

Edie: so cute ��

Liam: mine or yours

Edie: 😳

Edie: I’ll protect you while you sleep, see if you can at mine

Liam: I can’t if you’re 👀

Edie: that might be a problem

Liam: how long can you not blink for

Edie: [send a vid of an attempt]

Liam: can I keep this

Edie: ‘course

Edie: use it if you can

Liam: when you write a song about me it’ll need a vid

Edie: I’ve started

Edie: I think by the time you find me, it’ll be done

Liam: people who don’t know you are gonna think I edited your eyes that colour

Edie: hashtag they’re real 😏

Liam: the girl who said she had an operation as a kid’s the real you

Edie: 😂

Edie: they were going rouge and I’ve repressed those memories

Liam: what were you doing before you logged on

Edie: not at a rave, sadly

Edie: I was masterminding a sabotage though, trying to anyway

Liam: don’t leave it there giving me no details

Edie: it isn’t even bad ARG plot worthy

Edie: but my sister has her gross boyfriend over and I need to ruin their fun, obviously, because they are unbearable

Edie: easiest way to do that is make them babysit the twins because there’s nothing fun about 9 year olds

Edie: so I convinced ma to go out on a date, but I still need to get my brother out the way and he’s a massive nerd who never goes anywhere so I’m stumped

Liam: we could have fun with it, gotta be a route to go down that’s not just ripping off the shining again

Liam: a nerd how, he’s on mastermind and his subject is _

Edie: 🪓 is just a prop, honest

Edie: bones, not in a cool way

Edie: History, all that old shit

Liam: [obviously find some kind of obscure af exhibit or book signing or something that he’d potentially be interested in and send her the deets because sleuthing is what you do boy]

Edie: OMG but genuinely

Edie: you are too good at this, I’ll have to keep you around

Liam: stashed with the 🪓

Edie: if you fit

Edie: He’ll actually go to this, for sure

Edie: 🐓🚫

Liam: keep what you figure’s useful and chop off the rest 🧩🧟

Edie: 😋

Edie: what an offer

Edie: and I do need to keep busy so I can’t be asked to step in

Edie: not that I’d say yes

Liam: busy like with a 🧭

Edie: go on

Liam: [god knows what scavenger hunt he’s sending you on gal that he apparently just has ready at the drop of a hat but here we are]

Edie: [live your best nerd lives]

Liam: [really hope these clues aren’t something he was gonna torment your sister with, because no thank you]

Edie: [lmao i hope it wouldn’t translate so easy ‘cos imagine]

Liam: [it definitely wouldn’t but a hardcore blag happening here regardless, I like to think you were actually coming up with this for her while you were pretending to work out her address that you already know]

Edie: [that’s a solid shout ‘cos yeah that is a thing lol]

Edie: [definitely sending you the demo of this song at the end as a prize because we’re beyond 😍 now]

Liam: [likewise even though he’s trying to downplay how 😍 he is to himself rn because it’s so weird that she’s Rio’s sister and that he actually also likes her in her own right so we’re fully !?]

Liam: [nevertheless trying to think of something creepy but cool he could send to her house so she knows he knows where it is and that we think this demo is amazing obviously, maybe it’s lots of other people’s shit musical endeavours like KM that we’ve set on fire and otherwise destroyed in creative ways like you’ve slayed the competition gal since cds and tapes are back baby idk]

Edie: [I wonder if I can find something like that to post hmm to pinterest I go]

Liam: [love the visual of you just sneakily dropping off a massive box of melted plastic without anyone seeing you]

Edie: [you’re clearly good lmao, I was thinking we could do a convo with Billie between this and the next one though]

Liam: [good idea boo, I’m up for that]

[tvehyungs-gf]

BTS Reaction to their child telling them that they love them for the first time | HYUNGLINE

i think someone requested this a while ago but i just cant seem to find the asks nvm it was in my inbox im going to kms. link to request: here sjdhsdjssdasw im so soft for bts with a wife/husband and kids,,, also i know that ive been inactive for like weeks agAIN ;-;, i’m super sorry about that! | bts masterlist 

JIN:

The first time Jin heard his baby girl tell him that she loves him was when she 6 years old. Your poor baby had gotten a fever and had felt like she was on literally on fire. Her skin was hot and her cheeks were stained a cherry red color.

With a sigh, you sat down next to your worried husband. “I finally got her to fall asleep.” You told him as you leaned into his open arms. Jin smiled slightly. He felt grateful that you took over to put her to sleep tonight since Jin felt exhausted from a long day at work.

“I’m getting very worried. If she doesn’t get better soon, we definitely need to get her to the E.R.” Jin told you. You agreed with a slight nod.

“Mommy? Daddy?” Your little girl cried out as she walked into the living with her hand rubbing her eyes. The two of you sat up straight very quickly before rushing to the little one. “I can’t sleep.”

Jin frowned and placed a hand on her tiny shoulders. “Daddy will help you fall asleep, okay?” The little one nodded before Jin turned to you.

“You go relax, I got it this time babe.” You smiled gratefully as the two headed off to Y/D/N’s room.

As Y/D/N laid in bed, Jin laid down besides her with her head resting on his arm. “Daddy?”

“Hmm? Is something wrong love?”

Y/D/N shook her head. “No.. but daddy I want to tell you something.” Jin looked down at her confused. “I love you daddy, thank you for taking care of me.”

Jin smiled warmly. “Hey, it’s okay sweets. I’m your world wide handsome father, of course.” Y/D/N let out a small giggle before coughing. “And I love you too sweets. Mommy and daddy loves you so much.” Closing his eyes, the two fell into a very peaceful and much needed sleep.

SUGA:

The two of you had two kids, one being a 16 year old growing boy and one being a 3 year old baby girl. Your eldest was just like Yoongi, a boy who didn’t know how to show his feelings well but did it through actions. To put it in a more simple form, your son was basically a tsundere just like his father. He was very subtle when he shows that he cares and loves someone so it took you both by surprised when your son told you both that he loved you guys so openly.

It was on the night of his 16th birthday and the two of you decided to buy him a whole set of Attack on Titan seasons 1 and 2 DVDs along with the ongoing manga. Not only that, but you both took him out for dinner with his friends and family and ended it with smearing frosting on his face from the fruit cake you bought him.

Y/S/N was so overwhelmed with all the gifts and activities that took part on this day that by the time all of you guys got home, he cried. And that made you and Yoongi very worried.

“Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?” You asked him as he sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Yoongi sat on the other side of him as your little girl sat on the floor playing with her toys. “You know you can tell your father and I anything but if you’re not comfortable to tell us, we won’t push it on it on you to tell us.”

“N-no...” Y/S/N spoke out softly. He looked up at you both as his hands fell to his lap. “I-...” He took a deep breath. “I’m so happy. I don’t know how to say this but I’m just really grateful that I have the best parents in the world along with a cool baby sister.”

You looked at Yoongi with shock as your son continued. Yoongi smiled slightly before placing a hand on his shoulder. “I just love you guys so much. Thank you for everything.” You and Yoongi smiled and pulled him into a hug.

“We love you so much too.” Yoongi told him truthfully. Yoongi understood where your son was coming from. When Yoongi looked at his eyes, Yoongi would see himself through him, his own past self looking right back. But Yoongi was happy. His son was able to express himself far better than Yoongi ever could and he was proud of that. Yoongi thought that maybe, he did a good job at raising his son and that thought made his gummy smile show (gif).

J-HOPE:

It’s no surprise that your daughter is usually happy. From having a picturesque perfect family to amazing friends, she had it all. But the thing that she didn’t have was a loving boyfriend who knew how to treat her well. Of course, the reason being that they’re quite young. Only being 17, relationships are trial and error and it’s just an experience.

So when Y/D/N came home crying from a date she had supposedly went on with her boyfriend, Hoseok was mortified. He was confused, worried, and honestly a little bit scared. You were on a business trip so you weren’t able to help if it was for girl problems.

Quickly, Hoseok rushed to his crying daughters side and engulfed her into a hug. “Honey, is everything okay? What’s wrong?”

Y/D/N cried into his chest as her arms voluntarily wrapped themselves around her fathers body. “He- He broke up with me.”

Hobi frowned. “Oh darling...” In a slow pace, Hobi walked Y/D/N to the living room so they could sit down on the couch. “Boys are trash anyways and besides, you’re not old enough for a relationship love. I know how much you’re hurting right now and I understand exactly how you feel. You know,” He began with a smile on his face. “Your mother was the first person to break my heart.”

“Really?” Y/D/N looked up at him. 

He nodded, “Mhmm. And she’s going to be the last one at that. But the reason why she broke my heart the first time was because we just didn’t have the time.”

“Time?”

“Mmm.  We were young, just like you. And we were too busy focusing on our studies and getting ready for entrance exams that we just didn’t have time for a relationship. We were getting ready to be adults and to start our lives with a career. After we broke up, I eventually became apart of BTS and I met such amazing people.”

“My uncles...” She spoke with a soft smile. “They are amazing uncles.”

Hobi nodded. “Eventually, I met your mom again after a long time and we hit it off again. Look, honey, what I’m trying to say is that sometimes breaking up and being independent is a good thing. You should focus on yourself now, especially since you’re at the age where you should start focusing heavily on college and possible careers. Because once you have a start on your ultimate goals, then the one for you will eventually come into your life and make it an awesome journey for you.” Hobi slid his arm around your daughter’s shoulder, pulling her into a side hug.

Y/D/N sniffles had stopped and she was now understanding the reason why her boyfriend had decided to take a break. She felt a lot better now and that was all thanks to her dad. “Dad?”

“Yes, love?”

“I love you. Thank you for helping me understand.”

Hobi smiled warmly, “Of course. I’m your hope and you’re my hope. I’m always going to be there for you no matter what.” 

RM:

Namjoon was known world wide for his parenting. Of course, Namjoon himself is a smart intellectual and he knew things from right and wrong. He had his way of words, and the way he thinks is absolutely beautiful. So it’s not surprising if his kids turned out the same way as Namjoon.

His two kids are always at the top of class: they had amazing grades, and they were so down to earth that it’s almost ridiculous. They were sweet and they had such a good relationship with their parents. But as of late, Namjoon’s eldest was quieter than usual and that made Namjoon worried.

“Y/S/N, can I have a word with you?” Namjoon pulled the oldest aside as a small frown etched on his face. “Is everything okay?”

Y/S/N nodded, “Yeah.” He said quickly as he scratched the back of his head. “Why wouldn’t it be?” He laughed out a small laugh and that made Namjoon raise a brow up in concern.

“You know,” Namjoon started, his stern and parental tone coming out. “You can always tell your mother and I anything right? We’re always going to be here for you, no matter what.” Namjoon placed a hand on his son’s shoulder to assure him that he meant it. 

“Actually,” Y/S/N sighed. “I just... I feel like I could do better in school dad. I’m kind of stressed out with finals coming out and everything. And I feel like I’m not doing as well as you did in school. I feel like I’m disappointing you and mom.”

Namjoon frowned. “Y/S/ you have nothing to worry about and you are completely wrong. You have made mom and I so proud of you and we’re so happy that you’re doing great. Even if you didn’t do so well or as well as you hoped to, you’re still great in our eyes. And you are doing completely fine.” Namjoon pulled his son into a hug. “You’re doing so well Y/S/N, don’t let the pressure get to you, okay? If anything, you can always ask mom and I if you need help.”

Y/S/N sniffled into Namjoon’s shoulder. “Thank you dad. I love you.”

Namjoon smiled upon hearing those words. “I love you too, son.”

[paintednightlock]

alright here’s my opinion that no one asked for but i just..............................really want and need to express my sadness!  the entire show the starks are separated.  all the bad things that happen to them happen to them WHEN they are separated.  the ENTIRE SHOW they fight to get back home, to get back to winterfell, to be with their family, bc they are each other’s whole world and they love each other and they are good for each other and they deserve the comfort and warmth of family.  and then they just -- don’t!  they don’t end up together!  all of the living starks (yes jon is included in this bc he was raised a stark he is a member of the stark family i won’t fight about this) are in different locations.

like!!!!!!!!! i’m so overwhelmingly and indescribably happy that sansa is queen in the north!!!!!!!!! it is what she deserved, she is intelligent, kind, and talented and literally deserves only good things bc her life has been absolute hell.  one of the few things i’m happy about is the fact that she’s queen in the north, that she got what she deserved, she gets to be in winterfell and rule winterfell and be the queen they deserve.  but she’s all alone!  her family isn’t there.  who there cares about her the way her family does?  of course the lords are loyal to her and i’m pretty sure all the northern people love her but!!!!!!!!!  who does she have to talk to when she’s emotional or confused!!!!!!!!!!  i know that she can make friends or whatever but that’s hARD WHEN YOU’RE QUEEN and she already HAD friends, she had a family, she had arya and bran and jon, and now she has none of them!  just like all the rest of the seasons!  she is alone AGAIN!

and arya..........................i’m gonna have a breakdown if i think about what they did to her for too long but she is absolutely alone.  she doesn’t even have a people that love her, she is on a ship alone and they set it up as if she’s never coming back.  she will NEVER see her family again.  what sense does that make?  do we not remember ‘a girl’s name is arya stark of winterfell and i’m going home’?  home!!!!!!!!!!!!  her family!!!!!!!!!!!! they have ALWAYS been what’s most important to her!!!!!!!! the reason she HAD a mf list is bc those people hurt her and her family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  she is arya STARK of WINTERFELL!  and then she just leaves and is alone again, just like the rest of the seasons.  why even GIVE us gendry and arya?  why do that to us?  i’m so unbelievably and devastatingly angry about that bc i love them, and he loves her, and goddamn it she loves him, and they allowed them to find each other and to love each other only to take it away from us.  what was the point?  to absolutely break my heart?  to break gendry’s heart?  arya stark spent the entire show alone and now she is alone again, by choice.  it doesn’t make any sense, and i’m so upset about it i’m tearing up again.

jon..............jon snow..................what do i say.  his character is problematic and they ABSOLUTELY painted him as the level-headed and kind man who had to save the the world from the crazy woman’s tyranny which is just so sexist and gross but like ! his ending!  are you fucking kidding me?  alone again, in the north?  why?  i’m so happy that he got to see ghost, and i’m not the biggest jon stan so i’m not as obsessed with his story arc, but still!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that’s so fucking cheap.  i’m not saying what i’m trying to say right so i’m just gonna try to be honest straight from my brain.  i’m sad that he’s alone.  i’m sad that he’s not with his family.  i’m sad that he killed daenerys and they shipped him off to the north, and that’s it.  he’ll never see his family again.  he should be able to find peace, and i truly hope he does, but i’m sad about it.  i really just feel like he deserved better, like he deserved more, like he deserved to be with his family.  but they took that from him. goddamn it.

and bran!!!!!!!!!!!  my boy!!!!!!!!!!!  first of all i have ALWAYS loved him and honestly i know he’ll be a level-headed and kind king and i truly think he’ll make westeros a better place.  but just like, he’s alone, and that’s just sad.  i just really fucking hate that they’re all separated.

the only other character i truly care about is brienne of tarth, the absolute love of my life, who i’m honestly so happy for bc she is in a position of power and authority and she now has the ability and prerogative to make westeros a better place!!!!!!!!!! that’s aWESOME and her son podrick is there with her i just!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m not happy about a lot but i am really happy for brienne.  the ja*me scene was cheap and used her as the sad lonely love interest so i’m ignoring it entirely but besides that bRIENNE OF TARTH IS A KNIGHT AND ADVISER TO THE KING!  THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  all i really wanted was for her to be ok and she is.  i really hope that she finds happiness, too, bc she deserves it, and i think she’s in a place that she will.

daenerys............................deserved better.  i went on so many rants in the tags of so many posts last week that i’m just tired but i will never in my entire life forgive d&d for what they did to her.  she was strong, and intelligent, and kind, and passionate, and they made her crazy and proved that ‘the men were right.’  everything that she did, everything that she stood for, the most interesting character in the entire show, they fucked.  and then they murdered her and flew her away and that was it.  her entire story ended in two stupid episodes.  god every time i think about it i get so angry i literally fucking hate this show and daenerys deserved so much better it’s literally insane and i will never forgive them.

so essentially i’m going to literally kms every time i think about arya stark and every time i think about sansa stark alone in that castle and every time i think about how they threw jon’s character in the trash and i hate this fucking show.  they gave some characters good things that they deserved and i’m eternally grateful but they said fuck you to the starks.  their entire problem, all the shit that happened when and bc they were separated, is a non issue.  they’re all apart again.  they are all fucking lonely and the starks are not together.  i hate this fucking show and i’m so tired

[lunavadash-creates]

Honey, where I should start.. Maybe your Pandora Box would be the best choice, because it made me really excited and I have something to say about it. As usual.

First of all, I feel pretty unsure of fantasy au’s in non-fantasy genres. And I am saying this as a fantasy lover. However, some of your ideas seem interesting to me. And names!! I love them all! I always have problems with female names because there are only a few I like and they almost always are not adequate to the fandom. So usually my OCs exist without any.

Funny thing the most fantastic trope of your ideas is my totally favorite.! I love mermaids with all my heart! I love them to the point my co-workers bought me a mermaid-tail-blanket. You know, I'm ALWAYS cold and I am the youngest in the team, so they still treat me like a child – in a positive way ofc. The motive of the mermaid in Black Flag? I love it.! It’s quite heartbreaking, but I am a masochist and I would love to read about the moment she finds out about Edward’s death. Such a pity you don’t have an OC dedicated to him. I love this man. Maybe because I got into AC thanks to my friends and they all said that Black Flag is the best game made from all AC franchises. I didn’t have a chance to play them all so I have no idea if it’s true.

The second one of my total faves is OC for Connor. All OCs I have ever created are herbalists/healers/medics/veterinarians so here we are, you totally bought me with this one. And I find Slavic mythology really interesting. Do you have a name for her? I am not too excited about her being an assassin, but it’s only because AC games are too brutal for me. (Yes, I am really sensitive and sometimes killing a bug is too much for me, please don’t laugh at me) I definitely prefer books. And maybe that’s why I like to think about OC/reader as a person not involved in Assassin’s Brotherhood as a member.

Could you tell me something more about Ian? He sounds quite interesting. Ok, I lied. He sounds VERY interesting and I want to know everything about him lol.

I don’t like children, but Bayek and Aya are legendary and everyone on this sick planet loves them so I am kinda interested in the background story? And Bayek has the most beautiful smile amongst all male assassins in the whole franchise. You can’t change my mind.

Buuuut, speaking of such things.. who do you find most attractive out of all AC characters and why? I know Altair is your favorite, but I am not sure if also in a matter of physical appearance.

🔪

Hi Knifey!

I'm really happy you like my little Pandora Box! I have drabbles for some of those ideas, some of them are in this phase of 'im still not sure if I'll write it but it is/was fun to think about. Also allow me to put rest of the answer under the cut!

Mermaids and sirens are one of my fave supernatural beings so I'm so happy you like that idea! Maybe one day I will have oc for Edward but to be honest the game makes me sad. I don't like how Edward behaves - how he treats his wife, the sugar seller and generally people around.

I won't laugh at you for not like killing because it's 100% valid! And this oc for Connor is like that. She used to be an assassin but left because killing is terrible for her and it's completely against her doctors' vows to never hurt. Honestly the moment when Edward buys his swords and Bonnet goes with 'i didn't have money for swords so I have this tiny knife' broke my heart. I was so angry at Edward I had to turn off the game.

As for other games - I started with Syndicate, then Unity, Odyssey, Origins, AC 1 and then I followed the order. I just played Valhalla after Rogue but before black flag. So as you see Edward is my last assassin so maybe that's why I have troubles with liking him got now. But I hope it will get better!

About Ian. Do you know anime called Durarara? I honesty base Ian on Izaya a bit. If not then it's fine! Ian is an informant who just loves to create chaos and observe people. He is curious by them. He is especially dangerous because this feeling of awe towards humanity is genuine. Because of it he can be bought with money or threatened by death. He does as he please, not caring for consequences as long as he can watch people and their choices.

Bayek. Aya. I love them so so much and I'm always so sad about their story. I wished they could be together happily ever after. This child oc is one of those 'idk if I'll write it but it's fun to think about it from time to time' kind of thing. (Same goes for witch for Malik, tbh Im going more and more to the side that I won't write it because it just doesn't feel right 😂)

And yes! Bayek has beautiful smile!

Who's attractive? Tbh I find them all attractive in different ways. I want to way Altair is the most handsome but he has like 13 pixels on his whole face 😂 if they made him with th same quality as Alexios, Bayek or Eivor it would be much easier to decide!

I think Arno (my type - dark eyes, dark hair) Shay and Alexios are the moet handsome for me. Secondly comes Jacob! Then Bayek, Eivor, Connor, Altair, Ezio, Malik, Edward (he is the last, sorry ;; )

Who is the most handsome for you? And which AC games/books did you read? I read only brotherhood do km looking for recommendations (also I'm still reading ac1 book but the feelings)

[yourboatholiday]

Superyachts and helicopters? A perfect duo!

What is a superyacht without its helicopter landing pad? Why should you ask for one on your brand new or just chartered yacht? What kind of yacht can carry a helicopter? What helicopters are suitable for landing on yacht’s pads? 

These are just a few questions we’ll try to discuss in this article. Let’s follow us to get your answers!

CONTACT US TO VIEW THE YACHTS WITH HELICOPTER

No matter what the reason is, if you are about to buy a mega-yacht or better about to rent one for a vacation and you want a complete 360-degree experience do not miss the opportunity to have a helicopter on board, certainly a choice you won’t regret. Let’s see why:

Aboard a superyacht with a helicopter free to go wherever you want

If the feeling, while you are onboard a yacht, is to be the sea master, free to sail far and wide-reaching the most distant destinations without having to respect boundaries, a helicopter on board will allow you to conquer even the sky, also extending your motion range upwards.

In addition, to being a very electrifying experience in itself, letting you enjoy an exclusive and breathtaking view of the coast at which you are anchored, a helicopter available 24 hours a day means being able to move quickly and with little notice from the boat to the inland or on a private island or, better yet, in a busy city center without ending up in the middle of traffic even for a second.

For example, try to imagine being anchored off the Bahamas and suddenly wanting to reach Miami to watch the last Miami Heat home match. Through your helicopter, piloted by qualified personnel, you will enter the stadium just in time for the kick-off!

The ideal solution for VIPs and businessmen

However, it is in the world of business that carrying a helicopter on your superyacht can make the difference between a relaxing holiday with a short work break or a whole day (or worse) ruined by an unexpected and urgent commitment.

Having ultra-fast transport to and from your office, a conference center, or any other destination that would otherwise require hours of navigation and car driving means having a considerable advantage in terms of comfort.

Just think of, for example, a manager who is enjoying a well-deserved vacation with his family in the beautiful waters of the Maddalena archipelago, in Italy, recalled for an important meeting in the city of Milan which he cannot give up. Without a helicopter onboard it would be impossible for him to attend it without missing much of the holiday with his wife and children.

The superyachts with helicopters list are really long 

What are the best helicopter yachts to rent today? The list is very long and well-stocked. Below we point out just some of the best mega-yachts that offer this service, indicating for each the area in which they operate and are available for rental:

Datcha: launched in 2020 by the builder Damen Yachting, this boat reaches 77 meters in length. In addition to having a practical helipad, she also offers a fantastic 3-person submarine on board to explore the depths of the sea! Datcha is available for charter in the Indian Ocean, in particular in the Maldives and Seychelles islands.

Bold: built by Silver Yachts in 2019, Bold is an 85 meters boat complete with every comfort for its passengers, including a practical helicopter landing pad. She can accommodate up to 16 guests divided into 8 cabins and up to 20 crew members. Bold can be rented for cruises in the South Pacific Ocean, French Polynesia, Fiji, New Zealand.

Ragnar: built-in 2012, it is born from the ashes of a former icebreaker. This 68-meter Royal Niestern Sander Superyacht was launched in 2020 and can accommodate up to 12 guests and 17 crew members. Her origins allow her to brave the cold temperatures of the Nordic countries during the summer while in the winter she can be hired for charters in the Caribbean Sea.

Cloudbreak: she is a mega expedition yacht of over 70 meters capable of sailing anywhere in the world. She was built by Abeking & Rasmussen in 2016 and can accommodate 12 people divided into 6 cabins. The crew consists of 22 members. During the summer season, Cloudbreak can be rented in the Mediterranean Sea, between the Greek islands and Turkey.

Luna: Although she is currently not available for hire, Luna deserves to be mentioned among those capable of transporting a helicopter as she owns not one but two helipads! At 155 meters in length, she is one of the largest mega-yachts in the world and carries, among other things, a submarine and a garage complete with luxury cars.

What if you want to choose your helicopter yourself?

For those who want to have everything under control, it is also possible to choose from a vast helicopter assortment dedicated to the world of yachts.

So what are the best brands when it comes to helicopters for mega-yachts? We would like to point out just a few, indicating for each the top speed, the range and the maximum number of passengers that can be transported:

Robinson R44: This helicopter is one of the best-sellers among the small models. She can carry up to 4 passengers at a top speed of 135 mph for around 350 miles.

Bell 505 Jet Ranger X: among the entry levels there is also this American house small model. It carries up to 4 passengers with a maximum range of about 620 kilometers. It reaches a top speed of 230 km / h.

Leonardo AW109 Trekker: this model of the Leonardo group is positioned in the intermediate range. There are 6 seats on this helicopter which guarantees a range of about 450 miles and a cruising speed of 175 mph.

Airbus H160: here is a true giant of the air. This Airbus helicopter can in fact carry up to 12 passengers and is suitable for very large mega-yachts. She can travel an impressive 500 miles at a speed of 185 mph.

Finally, we leave you with a piece of advice: if you are thinking of renting one of these splendid boats, perhaps combining them with a practical helicopter, do not waste any more time and contact Your Boat Holiday, one of the most serious and reliable rental companies on the market today.

Contact  now YBH Charter Brokers:

You can contact us by sending an email at ask@yourboatholiday.com or by phone, calling +39 33436 00997, available also on WhatsApp for both calls and texting.

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[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/enoch-adeboye-sexism-row-why-the-nigerian-pastor-is-popular/

Enoch Adeboye sexism row: Why the Nigerian pastor is popular

Image copyright PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE

Enoch Adeboye, better known as “Daddy Go” (Daddy General Overseer), is a Nigerian pastor loved by his millions of followers, but who has once again riled critics on social media with what they say is his sexist attitude.

The 78-year-old ranks low on the flamboyance roll-call of the West African nation’s mega televangelists, but he is arguably the most popular.

He has headed the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) for nearly 40 years – and under his stewardship it has grown phenomenally.

It is rare to find in Nigeria’s mainly Christian south a street without an RCCG church, some streets have two – and its dove logo has become part of the landscape.

But the pastor’s views on marriage and gender roles has some eyes rolling in the age of #metoo – even in this conservative country.

‘Marry a woman who can cook’

He has been active on social media over the last decade – and when he posted some “lessons” for women on his wife’s birthday in July – it snowballed into a Twitter storm that sparked a big conversation about feminism.

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Pentecostal churches are popular in southern Nigeria

“No matter how educated or successful you are, your husband is your head and you must regard him as such at all times,” he tweeted to his 1.3 million followers.

On Instagram he added about his wife: “It does not matter what is on her itinerary, if I say I would like you to go with me to so and so place… she would cancel whatever she was to do and come along with me.”

In a post in January, he advised his married son to sack a secretary “he was looking forward to seeing at work”, which did not go down well.

And in 2016 he had this advice to bachelors: “Don’t marry a girl who is lazy. Don’t marry a girl who cannot cook. She needs to know how to do chores and cook because you cannot afford to be eating out all the time.”

The televised address to his congregants riled women activists but his reception was not all negative – a fact borne out by the success of his church, which he runs like a business.

‘Donations to get to heaven’

Every Sunday, before a ban on large gatherings because of the coronavirus, hundreds of thousand of people passed through the doors of RCCG worldwide, seeking miracles, redemption, eternal life or a financial breakthrough.

RCCG

The Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG)

2,000 churches in Nigeria

40,000of them altogether in 186 countries

500,000people a month attend the Holy Ghost Service in Ogun state

9,000sq km (347 sq miles) size of open-air prayer ground in Ogun

Source: RCCG

“I want to be on the side of God under tutelage of a true Christian doctrine, I found this in RCCG. Personally, I want to make it to heaven,” one church member told me in the capital, Abuja, where there is a huge prayer ground on the outskirts of the city.

Others said they were attracted by Pastor Adeboye’s “holiness”, “humility” and “adherence to that which he preaches”.

Those flocking to church are happy to offer donations or purchase church souvenirs.

Most of them agree to give 10% of their income to the church, a practice known as tithing.

“Anyone who is not paying his tithe is not going to heaven, full stop,” he told his clerics two years ago.

It is hard to know the true extent of Pastor Adeboye’s wealth, the lines are blurred between what belongs to the church and what is his – estimates of his fortune vary from $60m (£46m) to $130m.

Image copyright RCCG

Image caption World leaders have even been pictured with the influential pastor

This puts the former University of Lagos maths professor, who refuses to speak to the media, in the same league as the country’s music stars, and richer than most of Nigeria’s foreign-based professional footballers.

But beside an array of bow ties that accompany his trademark safari suits and striped shirts, he looks austere compared to the flashy standards of his Pentecostal peers.

No shiny shoes, no oiled hair, his English does not rise and fall with an American accent.

Born to poor parents, he cuts a relatively humble figure and those close to him describe him as much.

Yet, he – or the church – owns a university, a Gulfstream jet and some fancy cars.

Neutral in politics

Pastor Adeboye is also politically powerful – and well respected by middle class urbanised Nigerians.

Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye

1942: Born in Ifewara, Osun state, south-west Nigeria

1967: Obtained bachelors degree in mathematics

1967: Married Foluke Adeyokunnu

1977: Ordained a pastor in RCCG

1981: Becomes general overseer of RCCG

In presidential election campaigns, some candidates have made it their duty to visit his prayer sessions and to be seen praying and shaking hands with him – and his website has photos of him greeting world leaders.

His views on women – in which he often references the bible – are seen by some as unsurprising, even if some say the verses themselves can be interpreted in other ways.

“Christianity and religions are the enforcers of patriarchy, so it’s not far-fetched that a religious leader would be holding on such a view,” Martha Edem, a Christian Nigerian writer, told me.

She described his “birthday tweets” as a missed opportunity to teach couples mutual respect and love.

You may also be interested in:

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionCoronavirus in Africa: Church leaders urge faithful to pray from home

But even some gender activists in the deeply religious country do not want to take him on.

“For me it is down to the individual interpretation… I can’t judge a man of God, Christianity is a religion of conviction,” gender activist and academic Abigail Ogwezzy-Ndisika said.

The wealth of Nigeria’s mega pastors often make them a soft target for those who perceive them as exploitative.

Some suggest Pastor Adeboye should use his influence more with politicians – after all even the current Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo is an RCCG pastor.

To be fair, he led a peaceful march in February to highlight the insecurity in the country.

He has shown he is measured about his involvement in politics – not siding with one party or another.

But those expecting him to be more neutral about his views on marriage and a woman’s role in the home, will have to wait a long time.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 18.07.17 lb

what a day. what a fucking day, yougaiz. i drove over 300 kms for a work meeting. and tomorrow, it’s over 100 kms. 😥😥😥

where’s my rude, rich teen naam waala asshole who’ll save me from having to hustle like this? coz i gotta say man, destiny’s child DID NOT sing about this part of being an #independentWoman. 😒😒😒

plain text version here. 

i am loving the healthy amount of fear omkara has developed for his wife after just one yelling. 😊😊😊

lmao how thick does he think his arms are, to cover up the entire room???? 🙄🙄🙄

heeee heee, the way he picked her up by the chin. such cute. 😚😚😚

bhavya’s inner police afsarni shall not be denied. 😐😐😐

omki’s tadi will work against these two, but what will happen when head bhaabi makes an appearance? 😋😋😋

lmaooooo, even he knows he can’t handle anika’s interrogation. 😆😆😆

project the video of om’s annoyed eye rolls on my gravestone, because that is my eternal #mood. 😕😕😕

okie, omki/gauri are just toooo fucking adorable with the casual face touching today. sho damn cute. 😍😍😍

yuuuuuuuuuup. here she issssssss. POPPPING UP LIKE A FUCKING JACK IN THE BOX. 😆😆😆

LMFAO OM’S HEART CLUTCHING SHOCK. (and gauri’s coordinated expression in the bg!) 😂😂😂😂

*sing song voice* bhaaaaabi, meri pyaari bhaaaaabi! 😊😊😊

i am dying. i am dyyyyyyyyying at the cute. 😭😭😭😭

shivaay’s turn to face the music. let’s see how well he fares. 😐😐😐

soooooo.... we’re not sticking to the “mujhe koi faraq nahi padta” plan, since we’re yelling about how worried we are about our ex husband? 🤔🤔🤔

“haanmainbilkultheekhoonmujhekaadhanahipeenahai.” lmao. in one breath. 😂😂😂

waah. i thought shivaay would be the worst of the three, but he was actually the best! i’m impressed! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

... hey you guys? is omki’s hair reminding anyone else of... 🤔🤔🤔

lol rudra has already taken on “chachu” duties. 😊😊😊

infighting among the ranks. oy vey. 😬😬😬

holy shit, canon confirmation that omki and riddhima were sexting/skype sexing when she was away. daaaamn, this show is very progressive. 😯😯😯

baby’s aankhein aren’t even remotely kanji though? 😟😟😟

um what are these faces shivaay is making? gross, yet mesmerizing. 😟😟😟 

wait. what even is this nonsense story about shivaay and some random girl in some random hotel????? fairly sure shivaay and tia were engaged 18 months ago? are we supposed to believe shivaay was hooking up with rando girls he met in a jungle then???? 😧😧😧 

that too, without checking their naam khoon and khaandan? super unlikely. 🙄🙄🙄

dna test. yup. because that’s worked out soooooooooo well every other time you people have gotten one in this show. 😑😑😑

pfffffft, one week for dna test? didn’t take that long for anika’s fake mom. 😕😕😕

aw, rudra’s up for taking care of baby. and they call him “the irresponsible one”. 😌😌😌

aaaaaaaaaaaand he’s jinxed it. 😣😣😣

shivaay’s reaction = me, whenever i hear a baby crying. i just can’t take that noise. i can’t. 🙉🙉🙉

meanwhile pinky is anticipating ~draaaaaaama and is ready with popcorn. 🙃🙃🙃

oh god i already know this is gonna blow up in her face and don’t wanna watch. 😑😑😑

tej’s evil smile though. 😈😈😈

god, do you think shivaay got his sheer foolish naivety from jhanvi? coz i don’t see anyone else in this house who could have taught him that. 😕😕😕

bored with this scene, so fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

but like... i think by this point human beings really should have evolved to have a “silent mode” button. it would be soooooo useful. 🤔🤔🤔

um that’s not jhoola jhulaana. 😗😗😗

*shivaay and om jhooling in sync* FLOW MEIN. RHYTHM MEIN.

i think i’m really super tired, coz i’m really finding this lameass crap funny. 😆😆😆

SUPPORT THE BABY’S HEAD, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. MY GOD. THIS IS A DISASTER. 

snort, nakuul’s getting to use his latin ballroom dance skillz. to rock a baby. 😂😂😂😂

rudra chachu is the best. 😘😘😘

omkara chachu tho......... 😗😗😗

ok seriously, i do not want kids, and shivaay is mostly meh on most days, but shivaay + baby is doing things to me. 😥😥😥

even if you don’t watch the whole episode, please watch the weird robotic vibrating shivaay is doing at the 17:10 minute mark. 😂😂😂

“rudra naach raha hai... woh bhi, mujre waali ki taraah!” 

um please. not to insult mujra, which is based on kathak, like this. 😒😒😒

i love how gauri shut anika’s bhaujai’s eyes to shield her from this unholy sight. 😊😊😊

pfffffffft. what nonsense. let them dance however they want. you girls are annoying. 😒😒😒

“tsk tsk tsk, koiiii toh rok loooooo! omkara ji ruk jaiyeeee, nahi dekha jaaa rahaaaaaaaa!😫😫😫” 

so then maybe stop watching? 😐😐😐

but she also has a fair point, that kunal/om is a terrible dancer. and truly, nahi dekha jaa raha. 😫😫😫

om to rudra: teri waali bohut interrogation karti hai yaaaar. 

and the other two don’t? 😑😑😑

lmaoooooo gauri/anika’s faces at rudra’s fake smile. 😆😆😆

rudra: kitniiiiii sawaal karti hai yeh ladkiyaan. omkara: especially teri waali. *poking rudra in the chest* shivaay: aur meri waali. i mean... meri.... ex. 

sure bro. sure. 🙄🙄🙄

FALSE ALARM! DANCE, MONKEYS, DANCE! 🐒🐒🐒

all you need to know about this track is in the following two pics: 

(yes, that is shivaay, frantically dancing ghaati-style to placate a crying baby.)

wow. khanna doing his duty for once. 😐😐😐

gauri’s MAA!!!!!! 😯😯😯

oh hey samar. ‘sup. long time no see. 😊😊😊

a ha! we have a photo of the chick who provokes samar to have day drinking sessions in the chawl. and his chehre ka grief makes me think she’s.... dead? 🤔🤔🤔

yup. she’s defiiiiiinitely connected to the chawl. and he’s not happy with the way shivaay is demanding the chawl that’s connected to lady love. 😐😐😐

here’s naagini. on her standard diet of Angry Cucumbers. 😕😕😕

daaaaaamn. she a selfish brat. let a boy cry in peace over his lost love, bitch. 😒😒😒

god, samar. you’re too nice. tell her to gtfo. 😒😒😒

“ragini, insaan ka APNE dil pe zor nahi chalta, toh kisi aur ke dil pe kya chalega? shivaay tumse pyaar nahi karta, ismein koi aur kya kar sakta hai?”

samar is too sane for this show. and to be related to ragini. 😔😔😔

also, that was NOT the reply ragini was looking for. 😬😬😬

samar is trying to plead ragini to see sense, but... a naagini’s gotta do her naagino waali harkatein. 🐍🐍🐍

man, i am really feeling for poor sweet samar. why is he so sad? come here, child. *adopts him into my never-ending menagerie of broken and sad adults who need a hug* 😚😚😚🤗🤗🤗

oh shit, what is she gonna make this bechaara bhaiyya of hers do? 😟😟😟

i love how omkara just starts screaming NAACH! NAAACH! like gabbar the moment the baby starts crying. 😂😂😂

... om’s idea is going to be to use gauri’s god idol clothes for the baby, isn’t it? 😐😐😐

oh god, gauri’s mom is here to meet daamadji. what amazing timing. i’m sure he’ll make a splendid first impression on saasuma. 😗😗😗

... why is mom talking about death more than average desi mom? 🤔🤔🤔

YAAAAAAAAAAS TIME FOR “PRETENDING LIKE WE ARE IN A LOVING AND TOTALLY OK RELATIONSHIP” TROPE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAS BITCH YAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

omkara can instantly read wife and her ghabraahat/pareshaani now. niiiiiiiiiice. 😏😏😏

gauri is on a no-holds-barred feminist rant about how she will wear what she likes, no matter what om thinks of them. you go girl! naaari ssssakti jindabaad! ✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽

desi men’s reaction to a girl asserting herself:  

“sssshhhh. that’s enough now. you’re here to be pretty and be a baby making machine. not have opinions.”

ok the EXTREME closeups are not only creepy af, but they’re highlighting every imperfection of shrenu’s skin and makeup. please stop. 😬😬😬

kunal seems to have relatively nice skin though. 😌😌😌

he seems to enjoy doing this a lot lately, doesn’t he? this is his “move”, like shivaay’s is the “twist arm behind and draw her up against him”. 😏😏😏

ok the editing and everything of this scene is very weird and i don’t like it. it could have been a really nice, kinda romantic scene, but it just looks creepy af. 😕😕😕

omg, omki got his own version of the 2005 P&P hand flex. *swoooons* 

god, he’s so gentle and nice and kind with her now. 😭😭😭😭😭

lol, he got the door of his OWN room slammed in his OWN face. 😂😂😂

oh omki. my precious little button. i love you. 😘😘😘😘

ok samar is freaking out at ragini’s plan. meaning it’s a level of unprecedented crazy, even for her. 😐😐😐

gotta love ragini’s beatific smile at her own evil genius. 😈😈😈

oh god, it involves shivaay “having hamdardi” for her. what does she want him to do? beat her up? 😟😟😟

oh boyyyyyyyy. she DOES. 😯😯😯

man, samar is such a good brother. he deserves a way better sister. 😕😕😕

hey samar, disown this one and adopt anika. she could use a big, powerful brother like you, and you could use a less crazy sister. 😌😌😌

“agar aap nahi karenge, toh mujhe kisi random insaan se karwaana hoga.” 

oh yikes. why are you doing this to poor samar, naaginiiiiiii? 😥😥😥

my exact face, when someone baby talks around me: 

.... is he just putting the new clothes on top of the old, wet ones? 😕😕😕

lolllllll om’s unabashed glee and shivaay’s nonplussed look at rudra getting kicked, besttttttt. 😂😂😂

OMFG SHIVAAY SNARKY BABY TALKING. 🤣🤣🤣

omki’s turn. 

aaaaaaaaaaand fail. 👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

shivaay’s turn. 

why the fuck is he putting the clothes ON TOP of the existing clothes? is that their plan? to just keep adding layers? what about the diaper? does this plan apply there too? 😒😒😒

girl gang’s vocabulary is all one grand jumble of each others’ catch phrases. nice. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh boy. they’re gonna do team work. 😟😟😟

neither shivaay nor rudra know who dhritarashtra is. amazing. 🙄🙄🙄

THEY’RE GOING TO DO THIS WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED. BECAUSE OF COURSE, WHY NOT. 😑😑😑

who the fuck cares about a human baby’s wellbeing so little that they’d leave it at the mercy of these three fucking idiots? honestly. 😒😒😒

why are they making the lijjat paapad bunny noises at the baby? 😟😟😟

haha awwww, baby kaanhaa. 😊😊😊

THEIR WONDERSTRUCK “I’VE SEEN GOD” FACES. 😂😂😂

hahahaha awwww, rudra utaarofying nazar of baby. toooo cute. 😊😊😊

shivaay is adamant prescriber of “dancing makes the baby happy” philosophy and is going allllllllllllll out. 😊😊😊

ugh nakuul’s hamming though. cannot tolerate. will be fwding. 😒😒😒

please tell me the girls find the baby at least tomorrow. cannot tolerate a one whole other hour of this. 😑😑😑

[fromqueenstoqueensland]

“Clouds and eclipses, stain the moon, stain the sun. / And history reeks, of the wrongs we have done.” - Sting

I can remember my last day in the Navy, I found myself singing this song by Sting. I enjoyed my time in the Navy. In many ways it was a better education than my university. The nuclear Navy is a better engineering teacher than the College of Engineering where I got my Bachelor degree, and the sailors I worked with in the Navy were more diverse with a broader set of ideas than my graduating class. And yet it was time to move on.

Whenever you are about to make a major life change, you should ask yourself, ‘Am I running towards something or am I running away from something?” My wife taught me that one. I formulated the question slightly differently. You should only make a major life change when you are completely happy, because moving only changes the scenery not who you are as a person. As Robert Pirsig states in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, “The only Zen you find on tops of mountains is the Zen you bring there...To live for some future goal is shallow. It is the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.”

We are about to make our third move together since getting married, and when we move, we mean it. Each one has been over 3,000 miles (5,000 km). To this day, I’m not entirely sure if I was running towards something or running away from something. I was pretty happy everywhere we lived, and Hood River is the most perfect place I have ever lived so far. Cue the final verse of Sting’s song:

“I've spent too many years at war with myself. / The doctor has told me it's no good for my health. / To search for perfection is all very well, / But to look for heaven is to live here in hell.”

I remember when our bartender/barista who was a local here all his life left to go on his adventure. “I spent the entire 36 years of my life looking for a place like this, how can you leave it?” 

He never knew anything else, and thus he didn’t know. So maybe this is a gift to our children, so that they can know another way of living and make an informed decision. Or maybe it is a gift to ourselves, such that we never become too comfortable and take things for granted. We like to play a thought experiment called ‘The Hurricane Game’, but I will save that explanation for another time.

At least this time we had an eclipse to send us off on our next adventure. Cue the chorus:

“After today, after today...consider me gone.”

[newsfromnewdelhi]

Adventures in Rajasthan

My trip to Alwar, the oldest city in Rajasthan.....

The train journey was pleasant as I’d booked an ‘executive seat’ in the first class carriage which included a meal.

Alwar is not on the tourist map, being a very poor city. Apart from the museum and fort there’s really not much else to see. On arrival at Alwar station about 8pm, it was dark, and the tuk tuk driver who was supposed to take me to my Hotel, as well as overcharging me, dropped me off at the wrong place so that the hotel manager ended up having to come and collect me on his motor bike! The hotel, although very modern looking was up dirt track quite a way from the city centre and my room was very small and smelt awful, although at least they did upgrade me to a much better (but still freezing cold) room.

The following day I caught a tuk tuk to the museum then the fort which from which there were incredible views over the city. The tuk tuk driver waited faithfully for me at each of the venues including Dominoes Pizza, so I shared my pizza with him and tipped him generously!

I should have just stayed one night at the hotel as the following day, I had 7 hours to kill just wandering between the main park (where a sari clad woman tried to weedle money out of me and two teenage boys asked me and for a ‘selfie’) and Dominoes Pizza. It made me feel very uncomfortable being stared at the whole time - a relief to get back to Delhi.

Alwar Museum

19th Century artwork, Bundi School. Krishna making an offering to an elephant, Gouache on paper.

Alwar fort. Good to be up above the smog.

Mud huts just the other side of the wall from the Hotel - view from my window.

Alwar station

Golden Triangle Tour

Pros:

You get taken everywhere and don’t have to worry about finding your way from A to B. We had a great driver who was very friendly and drove carefully so we felt safe with him the whole time.

You get a tour guide to show you around each of the sites. We had a different one for each of the cities we were in and all were extremely good. They knew their history and brought it to life through their great story telling skills.

The hotels were warm, clean and comfortable and I was lucky enough to share with someone who didn’t snore! Breakfast was included in all the hotels and dinner was also included in the third hotel in Jaipur.

There were just four of us on the tour so it was a nice sized group. We all got on really well together, two were from Ethiopia and one was from the US although originally from India.

It was good to travel by road to realise that it’s only the cities that are really crowded. Going in winter is the best time to see these sites as the heat is bearable enabling one to spend much longer out in the open looking around.

Cons:

The drivers recieve commission for taking tourists to certain restaurants for lunch. As these cater solely for toursists they are naturally more expensive.

The tour guides also receive commission for taking toursists to certain shops and cafes. For example, we were taken to a carpet shop in Delhi where they import beautiful hand-made carpets from Kashmir. We were shown how they were made and offered tea, but then came the hard-sell which left us feeling awkward. Because of this visit which wasn’t in the tour brochure, we missed seeing Humayan’s tomb.

Everyone needs tipping which gets quite expensive: The driver, tour guides, hotel porters, waiters etc. The venues where there is no entrance fee levy certain charges (e.g. the Jasma Masjid Mosque charges 300 ruppees to take your mobile phone inside, a fee for the robe you borrow and you’re expected to pay a tip to the man who looks after your shoes and another tip to the man who shows you Mohammed’s beard hair, and so it goes on...).

It wasn’t made clear in the tour guide brochure that the entrance fees to the sites were not included in the overall price, so there was a lot of extra expense for which we’d not budgeted.

All the sites have many, many people trying to sell you souvenirs. It can get quite exhausting constanlty having to say ‘nahin’; the sellers are extremely persistent!

It’s hard to process the fact that places like the Taj Mahal are making huge amounts profits whilst there is such abject and widespread poverty within a stone’s throw of these sites. Why aren’t the profits going towards developing the cities’ infrastuctures?

So here’s a brief run down:

Day 1 New Delhi:

The present New Delhi was designed by Edwin Lutyens, and its main architect was Herbert Baker. In 1911 the capital of the British Raj was shifted from Kolkata to Delhi. Today it is the seat of power of the country and a major Gateway to the country for the tourists.

Ghandi’s memorial

Raj Ghat is located on the banks of the river Yamuna. Mahatma Gandhi’s Memorial is situated here, where he was cremated following his assassination in January 1948. The memorial lies in the midst of landscaped gardens and made of a simple square platform of black marble inscribed with his last words “Hey Ram”

Jama Masjid (Friday Mosque)

Made of red sandstone and white marble, completed in 1656. It is India’s largest mosque where more than 20,000 people can kneel in prayer at one time.

Mohammed’s footprint (supposedly).

The Qutab Minar

The landmark of Delhi, a huge tower of victory started in 1199 and completed in 1368. The Minar is 72.5m high with a diameter at the base 14.4m and 2.7m at the top.

The India Gate (42m)

Commemorates the 70,000 Indian soldiers who died in the 1st world war. 13,516 names of British and Indian soldiers killed in the Afghan War of 1919 are engraved on the arch and foundations. Under the arch, glows the Amar Jawan Jyoti flame commemorating Indian armed forces’ losses in the Indo-Pakistan war of 1971. 

Day 2 Agra A medieval city on the banks of the Yamuna River. It was founded by Sultan Sikandar Lodi in the year 1506. Agra achieved fame as the capital of the Mughal emperors from 1526 to 1658 and remains a major tourist destination because of its many splendid Mughal-era buildings. Most notably the Taj Mahal, Agra Fort and Fatehpur Sikri, all three of which are UNESCO World Heritage Sites.

World famous monument The Taj Mahal overlooking the River Yamuna, is a classic example of Mughul architecture, with the Taj itself built as a mausoleum at the northern end of an extensive formal walled garden designed in the charbagh style and structured on the Islamic theme of ‘paradise’. The whole site was built by Shah Jahan between ad 1632 and 1653 as the final resting place of his favourite wife Arjumand Bano Begum (also known as Mumtaz Mahal) who died in ad 1631 shortly after giving birth to their fourteenth child. Upon his death in ad 1666, Shah Jahan was buried alongside his wife in the Taj.

The Taj Mahal... true love or megolamania?

Agra Fort was originally a brick fort and the Chauhan Rajputs held it. It was mentioned for the first time in 1080 AD when a Ghaznavide force captured it. Sikandar Lodi (1487-1517) was the first Sultan of Delhi who shifted to Agra and lived in the fort. During the time Shah Jahan and his wife Mumtaz lived there, he he had beautiful marble rooms built for his wife and two daughters. His second eldest son, who wanted to be king, killed his brothers and put his father under house arrest, so Shah Jahan lived out his remaining years in a section of Agra fort from which he had a view of the Taj.

Beautiful marble rooms commissioned by Shah Jahan

The room overlooking the Taj, where Shah Jahan lived out his remaining years under house arrest.

Day 3 Fatehpur Sikri

A beautiful and deserted medieval city, built by Mughal Emperor Akbar the Great in the 16th century to serve as the capital of his vast empire. It was mysteriously abandoned after 15 years due to scarcity of water. Today, it is perfectly preserved as a ghost city built at the height of the empire’s splendour.

Day 4 Jaipur Founded in 1727 by Maharaja Sawai Jai Singh - II, the ruler of Amber, Jaipur was the first planned city in India.This town is also referred as Pink city for the colour of buildings in its wonderful old city. The city was painted pink to honour the visit of Prince Albert of England in 1882.

Amber City Fort is situated 130m high with the Aravalli hills around 11 km north of Jaipur. It was the ancient capital of the Kachhawaha Rajputs till 1037. Massive gateways, courts, stairways, pillared pavilions and palaces recall the glory and wealth of Amber’s association with the Mughals.

The City Palace still houses the erstwhile Royal familyJantar Mantar.

Hawa Mahal (Palace of Winds, with 1043 windows) built for the royal ladies to watch the activities on the market street below without being observed themselves.

[briansemall-blog]

Blog 16 In All Corners Of the World, 2011 live film (not anime).

1. Considering iitoko-dori, the textbook mentions that “the process of iitoko-dori, which has given rise to relative rather than absolute ethical value system, has also result in serious negative consequences” (p.130). Did you find a scene that explains it well? Describe the scene and write the reasons why you think so. The Japanese adopted a more equal work ethic when it came to war having everyone come together and contribute to stopping the enemy from taking over their country. This was shown in some of the last scenes of the movie when everyone was listening to the treaty over the radio. Suzu and the father in law agreed they wanted to fight until there was nobody left and they would have rather lost their lives trying than to surrender. This was an older style of thinking and they had to adapt to their new lifestyle and rebuild. Before this the females took military training classes in order to stop any homeland invasions.

2. Considering Ikuji, how do you see Keiko (Suzu’s sister in law) child bearing? Use the citation of textbook and explain the DIFFERNCES between textbook and Keiko. Explain why you think so. Ikuji is the type of parenting that is considered the method of “seep down” (p. 136) allowing the child to grow based on bein a role model instead of a drill instructor. Keiko was more of a drill instructor telling Suzi everything whats wrong with her and being very direct with her oppinions.  Both can be effective ways in raising children but they are approached in different ways.

3. Considering Ryosaikenbo, in the movie, there are much the Ryosaikenbo concepts, for example “In Japan, it is still believed that boys and girls should be brought up in different ways” (p.181). Did you find a scene that explains it well? Comparing with American culture nowadays, do you feel it is fair or not? Explain the reasons why you think so. The scenes where Suzu and Tetsu are children ou can see that the boys were trained to think in somewhat of a military mindset. Tetsus brother died in the war and imedietly Tetsu wanted to take his place and die for his country. Whereas Suzu seemed to be raised more as a caretaker, drawing Tetsu pictures and providing comfort to him. American culture nowadays it has been slowly becoming more equal but the division in how children get brought up based on gender is still clearly seen. Curfew is a good example of how girls sometimes get mistreated. I know most of my guy friends growing up would come home generally whenever they pleased and girls would have a timed  they had to be home or they would be grounded.

4. Considering Danjyo Kankei, unlike the tradition of Danjyo Kankei, did you see in the movie that men (husband, father in law, or good male friend) are subservient to females (wife, mother in law, sister in law, prostitute friend)? Explain the scenes and why you think so. The bath scene when Suzu was keeping the bath warm for Tetsu and that was completely normal to the family. They expected her to instead of being like lets provide comfort as a group or sying hey man you want a hot bath warm it up yourself.

5. MOVIE- Why did Suzu lose her right arm? She had tried to save Keiko’s child from a bomb she saw chillen in the property immediately next to the child picking flowers.

6. MOVIE- What was the relationship between Syusaku and Rin? Rin was I believe a geisha and Syusaku was falling in love with her. He taught her how to read and write somewhat, I think they were in love at one point in their lives the same way Tetsu and Suzu were but fell into an arranged marriage, then never wanted to look back because they ended up losing their spouse very much.

7. What do you think the meaning of her right arm? Rin explained how lost things don’t have memories they go to a better place. I think the right hand was symbolism for the potential the child that died had. She had flashback of all the skillsets she obtained over the years and love she had (holding hand with Syusaku). The child had so much potential and seemed to be better than Suzu could have ever been. She was loved and the child is much missed throughout the family. She feels the pain directly for the lost life though it wasn’t her child.

8. My grandfather who just passed away was 100 years old. He was 1 km away from the ground zero. My grandmother was in Kure and she saw the mushroom cloud like Suzu saw. Do you have similar story in your family? If you do (would have), can you see the historical facts differently or not? Explain the reasons why you think so. I do not know of, (or none come to mind) any family stories that would be relevant to or as severe as surviving an atomic bomb at ground zero.

9. What Japanese key concepts that you have learned before (other than current 4 concepts) did you see in this movie? Explain why you think so. The ie system is the concept of seniority in the household rules. In the scene when Testu was asked to leave, Syusaku claimed leader of the household because his father was gone for the night. Syusaku didn’t like how Suzu was looking at Tetsu and also didn’t like the manner Tetsu had. He suggested to Suzu to go to him an not return. He was taking charge and doing what he thought was best for the household.

[ievenranthisfar]

My Aconcagua Adventure: Day Ten, Things Change Fast

Note: I’m publishing my entire Aconcagua journal serially. If you want to read from the beginning, start here.

2/7/17 – Day Ten

Fortunes change in an instant.

After a somewhat rough night of sleep up here at 5,400 meters [17,716 ft] above sea level—my head was racing and I thought to myself, “Is this what cocaine is like??”—we set off midday to cache the last of our food and fuel up at Camp Colera [Camp 3, 19,357 ft]. The schedule was to be as follows: cache today, more camp to Colera and sleep there tomorrow and then the following day, attack the summit.

The hike up was exceedingly pleasant. We moved at a slow cadence up the wall of rock towards our high camp. Along the way, the trail crisscrosses great fields of yellow, sulfurous rock. The smell is rather subtle, and I find it oddly pleasing.

The hike it was about 500 vertical meters [1,640 ft] and just a little over 2 km [0.6 miles] and offered up breath-taking views of the surrounding Andes. It was really the first day I started to get the sense on being on top of the world. As you look out over the vast landscape, you realize that you’re the tallest thing around. A pretty incredible feeling. 

We passed through the mostly abandoned Camp Berlin and continue on a little farther, using huge metal cables to finally reach to Camp Colera, perched high atop a little lip. Time: 1 hour, 45 minutes up, better than the guidebook’s predicted time of 2-4 hours.

After stashing our cache under some rocks, we took off down the mountain feeling great about our chances of a summit bid in two days. We felt strong, we felt confident, and we could even see all the way up to the peak from camp.

The summit in view

However, just as we were re-entering Nido, we were stopped by a couple of Slovaks(?) who asked where we had come from and what our schedule was. We told them, to which they responded in broken English, “Oh. Our plan was same too. Summit Thursday. But forecast say 50 centimeters of snow Thursday.” W. T. F.

So we ran down to the lower end of camp to find Avo and Joyce still huddled in their tent. We asked if they had the full forecast, which they produced. Not good. Heavy snow Thursday and Friday. So much that their guide Chavi refused to take them up until Sunday.

Winds listed in kilometers per hour for morning, afternoon and evening

Suddenly our plans were—yet again—torn asunder. Our options were either wait till Sunday (five days!) for the storm to blow through or call a very quick audible and go for the summit tomorrow, starting from here at Camp 2. The thing is, waiting till Sunday is of course a huge gamble. We don’t have enough food to last that long, and we’d just barely catch our flight home. Also, there’s no guarantee the conditions would oblige then either.

A summit attempt from Nido isn’t totally unheard of. Some teams do it to avoid having to sleep so high at Camp 3 before summit day. Basically, leaving from here tomorrow would give us one less day of acclimatization and tack on 500 meters [1,640 ft] and 3 hours to our already long summit day. It’d also necessitate that we leave around 4 am.

Neither option was ideal. Or even good. Or decent. But after slowly turning everything over in our heads, we knew our only shot at the summit would be going a day early—tomorrow.

So now here we are, packing. We’re obviously fairly more anxious now. The idea of an early start is thoroughly unappealing. And the move puts us at greater risk for altitude sickness—gaining more than 5,000 feet in one day. But it’s our only shot.

So, we’re going to do it. We’re going to do it smartly, methodically and judiciously. No mountain is worth getting hurt over. So tomorrow, the big adventure begins and ends. 

Current pulse ox: 74% / 64 bmp.

Time to climb this thing once and for all.

And just like that, things change again. After texting back and forth with Michael’s wife via our GPS beacon, we got her to check MountainForecast.com for us. It seems like Thursday may be clear after all. The guardaparques who came around and checked on us also said snow on Thursday afternoon. So, if we can make it up and down off the summit in time, we’d be good. Also, a rest day might do us good.

We’ve been talking to an Oregonian dude in the tent next to us who summited today, starting here in Nido. Sounds like it’s his second time here on the mountain. We got some good tips and perspective from him.

So, after getting the Mountain Forecast and chatting with our new friend Brock, it sounds like we’re going to rest here tomorrow and then assault the mountain on Thursday, turning around if things get bad. The winds should be better Thursday than Wednesday, and that’s our biggest concern. It’s already cold up there no matter what. But if we can hit kinder winds (relatively speaking), it’ll be safer. Brock said he hit some really bad winds today on the large traverse just below the summit that made him really concerned about getting frostbite on his face. Nonetheless, he made it up from here in 6 hours, 36 minutes, which is crazy fast. (He took a more direct route and also knows the mountain pretty well.) But that gives us hope for about 9-10 hours up and 2-3 down.

So once again, we’re playing with a new hand.

Maybe that will give me time to finally wash my balls tomorrow. They need it.

[everyonethinksmynameiskayla]

Villages 8-10: In which we “do it live”

Our eighth village was Sinthiou Saliou, which was about an hour by moto from Dianké Makhan, and it was the most terrifying hour of my life. This really young guy was driving my moto and he was going way to fast and we were just flying through the air over the bumps and curves and I struggling to stay on the moto and I kept yelling at him to slow down because he spoke French but he was determined to go as fast as the moto would go. When we arrived I just about rolled off the moto and Oumoul looked at me and burst out laughing because i was so covered in red dust that she said I looked like a human brick. I don’t think I’ve ever been so filthy in my whole life. I washed off and we got settled in our hut with our awesome hosts Yéro and his wife Sirah. 

^ My clothes, my body was dirtier because my clothes were mostly covered by the driver, who was so dusty I couldn’t look at him because I knew I would laugh

^ Our hut and the little kitchen area behind it

Everything was going really smoothly and they even said they could guide us to a village that hadn’t done the Tostan program, which was super exciting because I had been trying and failing to make that happen for the past three villages and I wanted to speak with women who hadn’t done the program too. So the next day after lunch we climbed onto two motos and headed off. The village was only about 4 km away and we were about halfway there when there was a flash of white in front of the moto and before I knew what was happening the moto was sliding sideways and then I was flying through the air and then I was on the ground about 10 feet away. It all happened so fast but over the past couple of days I’ve put together that a cow stepped out in front of the moto and Hassan, the driver, had to brake and swerve to avoid it and in doing so the moto started drifting through the dust and I pulled my leg up to avoid it being crushed and then when Hassan stabilized the moto by slamming his foot into the ground, I went flying off. I must have instinctively covered my head with my hands because I knew right away that I had landed on my head and right shoulder but I had no cuts on my head, only my hand and arm. I sat up and did a quick damage assessment: probably concussed, missing most of the skin on the underside of my right arm, shoulder, and the top of my right hand, which must have taken the majority of the blow instead of my head, which was good, no deep cuts but I can’t move my right arm at all. 

Still in the post-accident adrenaline state and not wanting to give up after trying so hard to arrange the visit, I climbed back on the moto and we continued to the village. By the time we arrived I was bleeding everywhere and the fact that I couldn’t move my arm at all was starting to alarm me. Oumoul helped me rinse the wounds and someone called the Imam who showed up and I explained that I couldn’t move my arm and he poked my shoulder a bit and then did something (I don’t know what because I wasn’t looking because I was trying to play it cool, hyper aware of the fact that I was in a cultural context in which women who make faces of discomfort during childbirth bring shame on their families) and there was a loud popping sound and a blinding pain in my arm for a minute and then all of a sudden I could move my arm.  So we started doing the interviews and I was getting increasingly frustrated because my head was spinning a bit and my hand was starting to swell up and I was getting blood all over my notebook. By the second interview I couldn’t hold my pen anymore and by the time we were greeting the chief my hand looked like someone had blown into a rubber glove.

The rest of the evening is kind of a blur, we got back and as we pulled into Sinthiou Hassan (who wasn’t injured except a cut on his toe) was yelling things and they must have been alarming because by the time I was in my hut there were at least 50 people gathered in and outside and I was in a lot of pain and filthy and there’s nothing quite as comforting as 50 strangers staring at you and trying to touch your wounds. I was finally able to explain that I needed to wash myself and so I got into the latrine area and realized that taking off my clothes was going to be extremely difficult and I got my pants off and then Yéro’s mom shows up out of nowhere and starts asking if she can take my pants to wash and I was trying to explain that she should wait and take my shirt too but my Pulaar isn’t that advanced and I’m not even convinced that I could have explained that in English at that point so she’s just standing there staring at me and then she realizes I’m trying to take my shirt off so she helps me and then takes it and leaves and I stood in the latrine covered in blood and dirt and cried because I was so overwhelmed and washing myself was so hard. Eventually I put on new clothes with great difficulty (and I wore those same clothes without changing at all for the next three days because I literally couldn’t change). When I got back to my hut and everyone was still there and they were killing a goat for dinner to make me feel better I almost just threw myself on the ground and started screaming bloody murder. I had to stay up until like 11 waiting for the goat to be ready and then eat a bunch of nasty meat and oil with my left hand in a separate little bowl which meant I had to actually eat a lot because they could tell how much I was eating and my hand was huge and my shoulder and head hurt and then I was up all night with diarrhea from the goat and I was about at the end of my rope. 

So I’ve made a couple of lists. Here’s a list of things you can only do with your right hand in Senegal for cultural/religious reasons:

1. Shake hands (and, you know, greetings are only the single most important part of Senegalese culture)

2. Hand people things

3. Take things that people are handing to you

4. Eat

I’ve also made a list of things I can no longer do with my right hand:

1. Shake hands

2. Hand people things

3. Take things that people are handing to me 

4. Eat

You may have noticed some crossover. The list could also continue to include things such as holding a pen, zipping things shut and opening them again, plugging things in, etc. Turns out only having one hand is SO HARD. People are being really understanding and I get to eat on my own little plate on the side so I can use my left hand but I’m not very good at that, it turns out, so I mostly just end up covered in rice. Plus, we have no electricity so my laptop is dead so to take notes I’ve been using voice memos because this took me like twenty minutes lefty:

^ That’s blood in the corner 

So it’s a challenge. But we had interviews to do, so the next day I bucked up and we put my arm in a makeshift sling and walked a kilometer to Boutoucoufara, which would have been village 9 but we had decided that since it was so close we were going to spend the just the day there instead of trying to move all the stuff, etc. 

As we walked there we reached a river of sorts and we couldn’t find the log they apparently usually use to cross so we just hiked up our pants and skirts, respectively, and waded across. We stopped at the clinic they had and the doctor was having lunch so I sat on a log and waited for a half an hour while he ate his rice and chatted with some other guy and then he came over and looked at my hand and said “that doesn’t look so good” and I was like yeah I know it hurts and he goes “okay well you should cover it” and gave me a gauze wrap to put on it and I asked if it was broken and he disappears and comes back with a tube of something and hands it to me and goes here hold this with your right hand and I tried but since I can’t move my fingers except the very tips I couldn’t and he just shook his head and said “yeah probably, try not to use it”. 

^ Next to one of the smaller termite mounds with Oumoul and my sling and protective head equipment

So then we went and spent the rest of day doing interviews and waiting around for lunch (they killed a chicken, but not before it drooled all over my foot, apparently chickens drool when you hold them upside down). I was dead on my feet by the time we got back to Sinthiou, so the next day Oumoul and Yéro took motos to the final village, Béli Waamé Daka, about 20 minutes away and Oumoul did the interviews without me while I rested in the hut and had lots of attaya with Hassan and the team of like 6 guys that had been left in charge of taking care of me while Sirah actually did take care of me. With great difficultly, several breaks and one tantrum in which I threw things at a goat I managed to pack my bag without my right hand and when Oumoul got back we went with Yéro and couple of other guys to wait in this field near the village for the cotton pickers to drive by so we could try to hitch a ride with them to Dianké Makhan. 

After a couple of hours they showed up and let us sit in the back of the truck which was awful because it was so bumpy I thought my brain was going to come out my ear. We slept at Khadijah's (the woman who took care of us when our hosts forgot about us) and she is incredible let me just say we showed up with no notice at all and she didn't even bat an eye. Then at 6 am we got a bush taxi to Goudiry, which was way easier and quicker than I thought it would be, we were in Goudiry by 9. 

Now we're hanging out here finishing up some things and then on Wednesday we'll head back to Dakar and I'll go to the hospital on Thursday to have my hand properly checked. 

I keep saying this to anyone who will listen but I can't believe how quickly this went. I thought that it would be weird for me to come into a village and have Oumoul start interviewing people the next day and just leave once we had spoken to enough people, but right from the moment we arrived in Goudiry Harouna thought that was hilarious and was like no no it's the opposite it would be weird for you to show up and just hang out and do nothing for a while before interviewing, the people will start wondering why you're there and didn't bring them anything. I think I almost didn't believe him at first but it's certainly true that it would be weird if we had stayed in each village for a week or more like I thought we would have to. We arrive and everyone is pretty excited and the women we came to speak to are always very eager to talk to us and everyone else wants to be interviewed too. I was most concerned about taking time away from the women's busy days but Harouna thought that was also hilarious. He compared it to if someone from Singapore traveled by plane, bus, motorcycle and charrette to come all the way to my home in the US specially to speak to me because he wanted to learn from me - wouldn't I be excited? I suppose he's right. 

I partially am pleased that it's taking a third of the time I blocked out, I'll have more time for reading, writing, analyzing and coding etc and I got even more interviews than I thought I could but at the same time I'm kind of sad because I like being in the village. Traveling from village to village every three days or so is absolutely exhausting in every way but we're so warmly welcomed and I love the feeling of the village, especially at dusk when the sky is bright yellow and you can see the outline of all the huts and trees against the sunset. I'm sure I wouldn't feel the same way if it was 120 degrees (it gets so hot here that outside each house/hut there are a couple of beds made from logs across a frame also made of logs so once it gets too hot to safely be indoors (the huts are like ovens apparently) they can put their mats on there and sleep outside). But if I could stay in just one village and actually get settled and learn the language a bit better I could totally see myself loving it. I’m going to miss the chickens and goats everywhere, I kind of want to get some for my apartment in Dakar, you know, for atmosphere. 

[raisbiramosa]

City ‘Princess’ backpacking and Experiencing Pesantren living.

This is probably going to be an extremely poor written post as what i want to do is to capture the exact feelings i had while on the trip, without having to filter and restructure my words. I’m a Singaporean, we have a good command of English but being a unique multi-culural, multi-racial and multi-religious society how we experience things slightly differently. Essentially, we experience base on a mix of english chinese malay indian optics. 

Okay, enough..

Idk how to say nice nice with proper grammar all. Well, actually i can, just that i won’t be able to capture the exact feelings, but i also OCD with not writing properly. Delete this don’t know how many times already. haha

Essentially, I’m 23, i don’t have the basic skill set that is mandated as a muslim. I can’t read the quran and i don’t know much about the deen, the sunah and what not. So i feel like 23, very late to start learning, so i wanted a more expedited learning.. And having been living in Singapore where amongst the muslim families here, learning the religion is practically secondary, optional in fact. Basically we go secular school 5 days a week, and possibly if the parents enrol them, they go religious class once a week. So if now i go do that, once a week, bile nak game.

So i was compelled to check out the pesantren. and so i did. Alhamdullilah with Allah’s grace and permission, i got in contact with people who were able to share and shed some light into this world that is so mysterious to me. To really understand what I’m ranting about here is a bit difficult uh. Cause you have to take into account the singaporean muslims view of religion, some more how the secular kids view madrasah kids. and then got how the media portray the religion..

So yeah, i wanna learn but i have reservations.

Aiyah the story is already all over the place. Essentially i took a 3 days trip, the first day was just to sight see my ancestral seat in Penyengat Island, close to or considered part of Tg Pinang I’m not sure. That’s the place my family used to be kings at, so just went to see see look look.

So i went early in the morning via Tanah Merah ferry terminal to Tg Pinang and on to Penyegat. The moment i stepped off the jetty at Tg Pinang a bazillion prospecting taxis and bikes tourist guide came upon me, reasonably got away from most of them but two were extremely degil, i kept saying no, but still they follow me. They say nvm, we friend friend talk talk first.

Then i was like, okay lor, you want follow, follow lor, i tell you already i no money to pay you. And i really didn’t bring much. So from there, first thing i thought, okay buy sim card for internet. Go buy already then go to another jetty for sampan to Penyengat. Then the guys still following, say need charter the sampan for 250,000 rupiah about 25sgd, then i was inside my head like “What?! i only change 50sgd eh.” Lucky i got read online it should cost no more than 20,000… So i told him that, and he was like “Ohhh.. that one follow the timing schedules, wait for sampan to full then go. that one only the locals use. the 250k is the whole sampan is yours.” Then i was like… again in my head… “Oh.. WTH! assuming this is a regular thing, they’re making tourist pay for entire boat rather than just queue. i mean if you’re told its the premium service is one thing, but this one don’t even give you option one eh. ” And thats not the end, when i decide to take the shared boat, he asked the guy for two tickets.. myself and him. I was taken aback, i thought i’d finally be rid of him.. nope he followed me to the island. But while seating down waiting for the boat, i took the opportunity to explain to him again, the nature of my trip and why i couldn’t afford to pay for his services. 

That I was there to look for a pesantren, i literally just woke up in the morning bought a ticket from Singapore to Tg Pinang, changed what little money i had (50$) and went on my way. I even made it a point to tell him that i didn’t even book a hotel cause i couldn’t afford it, i was planning to stay at the cheapest hostel i could find or at worse seek shelter at the mosque.. And of course he was sceptical, “masa orang singafour nggak bisa ke hotel,” most indonesian has this misconception that Singaporeans are loaded beyond belief. Its not entirely unfounded seeing as the exchange rate is 1$ is to around 10,000 rupiah.. so when Singaporeans head to neighbouring countries they spend lavishly. His tone changed, he even offered to have me stay with him, though he still looked sceptical. I was also sceptical on the offer, so i initially at this point said no.

The boat ride and the entire tour of Penyengat Island was bitter sweet for me. i had always held my royal and noble ancestry in high regard but visiting there, whats left of its legacy. An island no larger than 2km squared with most of its royal palaces in ruins and unmaintained surroundings… I was done with the place in under 3 hours.

We head back to Tg Pinang, the bigger island, main island i suppose. We went for lunch, i was extremely famished, but i didn’t want to eat since i had a tag-along and needed to pay for two when i can barely afford it. Well i could afford it if i eat at one of the warongs or street vendor. But.. i was also scared, cause if i travel with my family, we usually macam paham only want to try the street food, but we’d usually end up at a restaurant. but this time round i can’t afford it. So to a warong we went. i figured okay fine, get a bottled drink and get something that is cooked in a reasonable setting. After we’re done he offered again if i want to stay at his place the night, if so i can drop off my bag at his place and freshen up before we go to the pesantrens… in my head i was like “as if! crazy uh. i barely know you. later i do that, i lose everything or while I’m out someone will ransack my bag looking for valuables.” So i said no, but yeah we went to the pesantren and talk with Ustaz and Uztazah there.. due to age they couldn’t accept me, but recommended another place that might. but that place in 27 km away from the city.. i was like again in my head “oh shit. No thanks” 

Then he ask again, now that we’re done where i want go, I’ve got no where to be, it was around 3pm. i decided to see if his offer to stay at his place was legit, we were on the bike, so i asked him to stop by the side so i could show him my wallet and how much money i really had. He looked and said its fine, lets get back to his place first. Introduced to his family and all. Just stayed there chatting about random things. They were poor. As we chatted the wife was saying she told her husband “Anak singafour, mau kemari, rumah burok ini, bisa nggak dia.” And i told her, better than if i had no shelter at all, right. 

We just continued chatting for hours, and she was telling me of her kids and what not and one particular story got to me.. One of her son’s, the elder was accused of stealing one of his classmate’s new camera. solely, or mostly on the account that he was poor. “Oh you’re poor so it must be you that have stolen it to sell.” Of course he said no, they didn’t believe him even the teachers and all, to the point of having the parents come down so the teachers could interrogate him in their presence but later it was found out it was another student and he was more well to do but wanted to spend more money that his parents didn’t want to give. What got to me was the viciousness, people were willing to accuse and torment. It was eye opening, how the poor or poorer are treated. It disgust me.

Closer to the evening was join by her younger son, a well mannered and well meaning young man of 15 but is bigger than most 18 year olds of Asia. Conversing with him, every choice he makes seems only for one cause, the betterment of himself and his family. Stopped lepaking entirely to concentrate fully on exams, he loves loves loves volleyball and basketball could see it in his eyes when he’s talking about it, stopped that too for exams. Doesn’t smoke to stay as healthy and fit as possible to have the best chance of enlisting in the army. Other times play tournaments to help support himself. 

After chatting for an hour he said he had arranged to play football with some of the other school and kampong kids, its been over a month since he played due to exams. All he had were torn shoes and at that point the mom was with us. She was lamenting how expensive good shoes were, about 600,000 rupiah, and how she was sorry that she couldn’t get her son a new pair and how thankful she was that unlike many other kids, her son always tries his best to make do and not claim beg and insist for new ones. There was a moment between the two of them, the son was embarrass but from his expression was probably trying to relay to his  mom that it was okay and that she didn’t need to say this things. 

Later we went out to a food place nearby he insist that i ate and he wasn’t hungry. Think he was just embarrassed to get anything, when i insisted he got something, all he wanted was juice, and even that he was soooo happy and thankful. It might have been just 15,000 rupiah to me, but apparently its what he gets for a full day of school when his parents can afford it, sometimes none.

We really don’t realise how lucky we have it.

Shower time. haha. the entire family was so concern. they didn’t have a shower head. not even a shower. its a bucket on a pulley, water from a well. yeah, you’ve guessed it, the shower room was built above a well. it was quite an experience, they were also concerned that i use heater at home, and that well water is extremely cold. It wasn’t. it wasn’t as cold as i thought.

i couldn’t really sleep that night, they were extremely kind people, the son vacated his room to me. I protested but they made it seem like they sleep together in the parent’s room all the time. So of i course i had to tease him, a 15 year old still sleeping in the middle of his parents. haha.. but who knows, it must have just been a courtesy to me. Which i am extremely thankful for. The room only had wardrobe, table and a mattress. Well it was a rather thin mattress I’m not used to, and my body was aching from all the walking earlier and not to mentioned the rats sound (eewwwww!!!! rats i cannot. no way hoe sei. ill take on a lion anyway over a rat.)

Morning came. I didn’t want to get anything cause i mentioned my reservation with warong food. But of course the dad insisted, he said he’d get me Nasi Lemak, but he came back with Lontong as Nasi Lemak was sold out. Of course i had to eat it. 

By this point i was feeling really bad about the condition of their place and all. And how even when they have little they wanted to share it out of the goodness of their hearts. i told you i showed the dad my wallet, so seeing i only have so little, he only asked for 100,000, he said he wouldn’t have even taken that if he could but he really needed it to buy certain essentials. But throughout my stay at their place, the food they bought me, the snack and the drinks, by warong standard he must have spent at least 40,000 rupiah on me. I was feeling bad and i wanted to help slightly, with what i could, i only had 40sgd in my wallet, i wanted to give it to the son the get a new pair of shoes but thought better of it, so i gave the dad. Of course, he was like “are you sure,” and also cause i had told him that the 40sgd was for my ferry ticket. which it was… but i could buy the ticket online and charge it to my singapore debit card. And i wanted to do something nice for the kid, so i hid 50,000 rupiah in his school pass, if he finds it soon, he’s on school holiday, can go enjoy, whatever that small amount could get him la. if not, later can use as pocket money lor.

i wanted to leave at around 10am to head over to Batam to check out another pesantren. But while chatting the father insisted i should fist the 27km away pesantren, he said at least i’d have something to compare to. so we went.

i just about broke when i saw the place. i couldn’t do it. It is 27 km away from the city, the road there was horrible, it was 15 km away to the nearest shops, 15km of farmlands and forest greens and only greens . On top of that you still have to go off the beaten path on red soil road. The entire compound was huge but largely due to the fact that they also had some farming. Woah. Just on the path and i was almost certain i couldn’t do it. The school, the dorm, the canteen, the mosque was so far apart. Walking distance but far. There were so many flying bugs and since its farmland i was concern of the rats. The dorm if you could call it that was just a huge hall, when you enrol you’re suppose to bring your own mattress if you wanted to use one or you could just sleep on the floor and bring a cabinet for your things. The only upside here was that, they follow the secular school’s schedule, so while the kids are at school, i was offered one of the hafiz’s service to tutor me one on one. Nope i can’t do it, I’m too city for that. Wah sure die sia.

So i was like “okay nvm, go see the batam one.” Cause the one at Batam is more modern and formal. Its backed by a Qatari Sheikh and came recommended by Singaporeans and other Indonesians i spoke to. As in its renowned that random people i spoke to has heard of it.

Was expecting to pay 200,000 rupiah for the ferry ride, but it end up costing only 52,000 i think, my A&W cost more. But i was expecting to disembark at Batam Centre, nope, it was at a more local terminal Telaga Punggur Ferry Terminal. Distance from terminal to the pesantren is the same as distance from Batam Centre to pesantren. 

i wasn’t really expecting much. I thought i’d just come in walk around, ask for tuition and lodging fees then leave. But thank God i decided to make contact in SG. Faris > GF > GF cousin > friend. Thank God. Such nice accomadating people. GF Cousin, Uqasyah, the night i texted him i wasn’t really expecting a reply. Cos most people wouldn’t really entertain a random number.. Got a nice surprise when just after midnight, right when i just doze off my phone went off like crazeeeee. 25 messages at once, sape tak terbangun sey gitu, He gave an entire groundwork of what i should expect and made a point over and over again to reiterate the obstacles and challenges i’d face if i so decide to enrol. Thank God for that as well. With all this considerations, i decided i should check out these spaces first before committing. So i did just that on this trip.

oh wells enough flashback. Here i am in a cab, in a foreign land, trying to find the meeting spot I’ve never been to, trying to find some guy i have never laid eyes on. Acquinted thru another guy I’ve never met. Umair. (See, don’t their names just SCREEAAM MADRASAH.) Well done Raja. Of course, my culture what I’m used to, all the pretension and first impression bullshit. Dalam taxi da busy pomade hair all.. then when i almost reach the meeting point he told me he was wearing green long sleeves. I saw him first being in the car and i was on the opposite road. First thoughts, “Woah. Singaporean? He’s adapted. Looks Arab-ish/Indian-ish/Indo-ish. Didn’t know what to think. (sorry hor belum pape da judge)” I knew i like the kid already from the text when he told me he was riding without license. So refreshing. Singaporean madrasah kid that breaks rules. Nice. Cause my idea of budak madrasah macam goody two shoes gitu kan. At least that was the idea in my head. Oh and did i mentioned i was rupiah broke, so he offered to pay first for the cab. In  my head I’m already like “Woah busy gile. belum jumpe belum kenal da nak bagi pinjam duit. ni die da bayar aku chao ke ape ke macam mane die nak claim.” Nasib lepas tu terus go beli makan and tukar duit. bayar balik on the spot. Oh and mase tu die guna english macam aku guna bahase indonesia, teragak agak. Tapi lepas 15 minutes gitu agak da switch on balik switch english die, da okay.  

Got food, bought some drinks and head for the pesantren or Ma’had. Masuk kampong okay not so bad, then there it is again, muddy uneven pebbled road.. i was like “Seriously! Again?! Ape sey, sekola pesantren ni semua road gini pe.” I was shock cause i was expecting a lot for this school as it came highly recommended, and was backed by Qatar (point to note was that, before i reach the place i had thought it was backed by the Qatari government or Qatari royal family, it isn’t its backed by a private businessmen Sheikh.), pictures online looks different (it was angled nicely. hmm..), people spoke of the school as though its the best most modern most up to date facility in all the pesantrens and ma’hads of indonesia. I should realised that these people’s perception and what they’re used to is way different, they lived in Tg Pinang slightly urban but still sort of kampong, i came from metropolis Singapore. Even among Singaporeans I’ve always been ups in the things i like. Not rich or anything like that, but i know quality and i work for it. I get lesser things but better. To put it in perspective, i’d get one more pricey good shirt then two bad ones, but not like extreme extreme one uh. i still lived within my means, and that wasn’t really all that much. 

First stop, the dorms. Here i was extremely crestfallen, the entrance was marked by a makeshift hut. To say i was taken aback is a downplay. I was thinking “Serious uh. the rest area is self made? Made with random wood findings? Ape sey ni. What have i gotten myself into.” Turns out it was nothing of that sort, it was an arts & craft project of sort, the ma’had has international students from all over asia; so as a contribution they make up something in the pesantren with recycle items. Maybe if i enrol, Singapore can contribute an even smooth-ish road? haha. The dorm’s outside is a platform area, sort of like ambin like that, can seat together to mingle. The room was made for six, three double storey beds and three wardrobes shared two each with a single toilet to be shared. it didn’t look too bad, especially considering my reference to a pesantren dorm was one of empty open room that sleeps twenty. The toilet was quite an experience, the water system needed to be switched on at two points outside of the dormitory itself before filtration would start and water would be pumped into the dorm toilet piping. Have to wait for like 40 minutes to fill a five gallon bucket. So they had to collect water, in form of four buckets of five gallons to be shared. Around this time, was asar, so had to take wudhu, thats where i learnt that there were still different opinions whether or not one can wudhu-fy with water that has been collected (having aways had access to water thru piping, i didn’t realise it might be an issue to wudhu-fy when you lack access in other parts of the world).

Also when we’re about to pray, i was wearing ¾ pants and singlet, yes it covers my aurat, but apparently its in poor taste to face Allah without minimally cover to below the knee closer to but above the ankle and to minimally put on a tshirt but preferably a long sleeve top. Of course kena marah sikit. Sorry la, tk tahu.. (Hmm… *thinking* but nvm, wanna learn right. If you’re reading thanks btw).

Wanted to go to the school portion, but wasn’t able to as the pm timeframe is reserved for the muslimahs. Oh wells waited for the next day.

So that day itself, got to talk to quite a few persons from all over asia. Thais, Malaysians, Indonesians, Pinoys, Cambodians. Bebual macam ayam and itik, cause not all can speak english or indonesian, the intermediary language there being arabic, and i obviously don’t speak. Everyone was like “masmuk masmuk. or was it masmuka masmuka” and i was like “ape sia nyamuk nyamuk,” at least sahlan way sahlan tu ku paham la. haha 

towards the later part of the afternoon went to the futsal court with Umair, went by the mosque. had to go thru hutan sey to get there. and the masjid, seriously eh, belum siap (but that seems to be the case for most of it all over Tg Pinang and Batam, entah lah tak plan budget properly ke ape..)

Malam lepak at coffeeshop, mak ai punye pedas nasi goreng die. Dua teh botol tak cukup. Balik gi ma’had lepak ngan Umair and Abg Dzul sampai very late. I would’ve been fine with not sleeping, was suppose to sit in the classes to observe but if i didn’t want to it wouldn't be an issue, but the two of them absolutely have to go to lesson both on last and second last term. I came to get a feel, to hear what they have to say, but in the end aku pulak yg banyak membebel. But okay, speaking to all of them was very nice, no pretension nothing, everyone seem to be interested and genuinely curious. God haven’t had one of those in a while.

Sleeping arrangements. God i still feel bad about that, Umair vacated his bed and opt for the floor. Absolutely grateful that he did, but he shouldn’t have. Wanted to argue, but didn’t know how. Though by morning i was absolutely certain that second night i was gonna grab the floor first. Its not nice you know, you came over to someone’s place practically unannounced and then take over their space. I wouldn’t have liked that, so i was uncomfortable doing that. oh and i would have been more comfortable on the sleeping bag anyways, at least the floor is even, don’t know how y’all do it, i could feel the bed frame’s panels that supported the mattress.

Subuh. Solat timing here i felt was interesting, in SG it’s accurate to the minute, but here seems like they’re slightly more lax, theres a good 15 min gap at least after the prayer timing (according to online) before i’d hear the azan. Maybe cause they don’t have the system or facility in place to be as accurate? i don’t know. oh wells.

Day 2. i only had two sets of proper clothing, and since i hadn’t planned on staying over at the ma’had, i didn’t have extra clothes for account of this extra day, all i had left was 3 quarter and singlet (my sleeping kit). So was planning on skipping the classes and possibly do it the next day, thank God i didn’t, plans changed, the next day became a holiday and i left for home. Umair insisted that i went, going so far as to forced me into his largest thob, seeing as i am huge and he’s not. Oh wells, i did also cause in the moment my head was telling me that all this nonsense of no clothes and whatever other excuses i was coming up with was cause i was afraid and setan was playing on that.

So i went. Well a little background was that i was questioning the short school hours of 8 am to 1200 pm, well needless to say around the second hour i stopped questioning it entirely. God was i drained. Everythng was in arabic, and as one of the Ustaz put it when the entire class was hammering him about my not being able to speak arabic “He needs to learn doesn’t he. What better way then to use the language.” So he insisted on speaking arabic to me and making me guess whatever he was saying or asking and EXPECT an answer, obviously i sat there dumbfounded, then he’ll feed me the answer and expect me to repeat phrase by phrase. God was it an experience. Pening pe kepala.

I don’t know where to put this in this post, but i feel this place is a good place as any. I grew accustomed to speaking english first, so when i need to speak malay in my head it’d be in english and i need to translate before saying it. Soooo… Indonesian has to go thru english to malay to indnesian. First day on the trip my head want to burst already have to speak Indo all the way. Then here i am needing to convert one second english another second Indo then malay then arabic then Indo then english. God was the entire thing overwhelming. by the time the break came at 10.30 i didn’t wanna sit in class anymore, i left for the dorms. IN FACT, when the moment i met Umair by that roadside, i was so so so extremely relieved to be able to speak full paced complete sentences english.

Conclusion:

1) It’s a really beautiful place to pick up arabic, it being the intermediary. You have no choice but to learn and use to be able to communicate.

2) People were awesome, most would give salam and attempt to get to know you, you feel welcomed. Others were recluses, but that might have been cause of the language barrier.

3) No TV, internet rabak, really good place to just study and study. Quite a few all they do is read the scriptures when the have free time, really nothing else to do. Especially for me, bola pun tak main.

Things to be grateful for/Have too long taken for granted:

1) Access to water. Omg, i had to use a well, imagine my appreciation for piping now. Even at a place with piping, have to open tap and filter the water and collect water in bucket. I was was to wash mouth with the water la sia. Eh over here kau step geli nak minum air paip, kat sane tak bole pun sia, kau minum, besok masok hospital.

2) Even and smooth roads. As in without portholes and pebbles and what not. Omg seriously, off road travelling takes on a new meaning. “Ape nak motocross? motocross fun? uh kau try uh hari hari nak kena motocross.” Tak complain lagi lena bayar road tax mahal mahal. go jer.

3) Financial means. At least i know what i can afford. At least i know i’d get a job if i weren’t so choosy. Omg the family i stayed with, allowed me a taste of what it means to really be pushed around. Sigh. I was going crazy in my head and in my heart, especially since i was so powerless to do anything, imagine how they felt. Seriously, thank you Allah that i have always been given the strength to choose, and never in my life was i powerless to choose. 

4) The air, the dust. Omg rashes all over. So itchy!!

5) Cool and cold refrigerated water. Hais sekola takde fridge.

6) My room. haha. My comfy mattress, my power fan, my total darkness when trying to sleep, my alone space. The pesantren in pinang literally an empty room, sleep on the floor. the ma’had’s mattress thinner than my comforter duvet.

Totally don’t know where to put;

1) Omg penat pe cakap dalam bahasa yang tak biasa. Now i have an understanding, kesian pulak all this foreigners yang datang SG, so much things to adapt to.

2) Omg air as in water, seriously leceh pe access dorang.

3) Kena solat atas batu. Adoi. Sini carpet tak cukup tebal je. Ni Masjid taqua baru tukar lagi, so thick. Sedap giler. Haha

4) First day balik, so many thing to be grateful for. Ingat rase sakit semua, ingat ape yang kita dapat lebih dan harus mensyukuri. Ni da hari kedua makin lupa. Hari ketiga.. sigh.. nak tulis ni pon da barely ingat. Anyways it took me three days to type all this down. Kalau bole perasan dari penulisan, yang atas atas lebih in depth. oh wells. what Allah wills will happen, will happen, otherwise no power but his.

Postscript

Sorry if i offended anyone while i was there or thru this post, this is just my honest account. One man’s view. One extremely lucky and pampered view. 

Thank you all that helped me along on this trip one way or another. Faris and GF for helping me make contact to Uqasyah. Uqasyah for getting me in contact with Umair. Umair for the hospitality, inviting me to stay and everything. And for forcing me to go for lessons. Cik Syamsir and family for having me stay in their home while i was in Tg Pinang. Other hospitable and friendly people of the ma’had, sorry i told ya i wasn’t gonna be able to remember names, some that i could Ustaz Fajar, Saifullah, Abg Dzul, Shafiq. Sorry Thai’s, i couldn’t even make up your names when you masmuk me and told me, much less to remember.

Trip blessing.. I've always been told "kalau niat kita baik, insyaAllah, Allah will help you along," never have I felt that more strongly than while i was on this trip.. I had a bad perception of the tour guides due to their reputation, but Allah wills that I found a genuine one that was sincere to help, a protector to not be cheated while I was there and through him allowed me shelter for a night and the experience to be able to really reflect and be grateful to Allah. A kid that managed to show me true heart. A cabby in Batam that was also sincere in his service, wasn't trying to con me of more money on account that I'm a dumb tourist. Genuine in making sure I reach my intended destination, and not just the abstract address I was only able to provide. Genuine niceties from people. People who really want to help. People who go out of their way to ensure your comfort. True experience of how this place is before I commit.