#i shall shut up now. thoughts are being thought and they're dumb

[doccywhomst]

Withnail and I (1987)

Because Paul McGann (Eighth Doctor) and Richard E. Grant (Shalka Doctor) are the leads (Marwood/"I" and Withnail, respectively), I thought it would be fun to watch this film for the first time and share my notes/thoughts with you, going in chronological order. Withnail and Marwood ("I") are struggling actors and alcoholics who share a flat. They decide to go on vacation to Withnail's uncle Monty's house in the country, which is a huge mistake.

Feel free to watch it and read along if you want the full experience:

• off to a great start with the passionate saxophone (?) music

• oh my lord, those are the oiliest, greasiest eggs I've seen in my life

• marwood is a drugged-up neurotic prey animal, I love him

• marwood??? please stop using a spoon to drink black coffee from a bowl. we're barely five minutes in. you're such a dumb twink

• screaming because their kitchen sink literally looks like this and they think wearing a single latex glove and using pliers to move objects will make a difference

• "drifting into the arena of the unwell" is the understatement of the century, marwood

• "I demand to have some booze!" yeah me too withnail

• his boots reek of flowery perfume, I'm loving this very very much

• some guy calls marwood a "ponce" and it literally puts the fear of god into him, he's like "im in danger. im going to die," like... this man is mortally terrified of any and all social interaction. incredible

• are they crying?? both of their eyes are watering? this is such an accurate portrayal of being crossfaded as fuck, how are the actors both sober right now

• the Voodoo Drug Doll Challenge™️ is so fucking funny - "these drugs are haunted" is such a hilarious premise for a dare

• marwood's terrorized silence and awkward grin at Monty's place... this is SO RELATABLE, this is me in most conversations with new people

• "firm young carrot" monty?? monty. also marwood and withnail grow geraniums, i hope that isn't a lie because it's adorable

• "throw yourself into the road, darling" got me, imagine that you're just chilling and a plastered guy in a car drives by and screams that at you

• CHILD PISS??? 💀 WITHNAIL PLEASE

• "if I don't get aspirin I shall die here on this fucking mountainside" you're such a drama queen withnail!!!!

• marwood approaching the problem "scientifically" is such a Doctor thing to do, I'm proud

• marwood walking through the countryside is Very Aesthetic

• "there's a man on the mountain. why he's up there, fuck knows" made me laugh, marwood is amazing

• withnail's desperate "are you the farmer" followed by marwood's "of course he's the fucking farmer" - they're married, your honor

• THE BAGS ON HIS FEET

• "how can we make it die" is so funny to me, they're both so timid when it comes to confrontation

• "never point guns at people, extremely dangerous" okay Doctor

• a BULL? a horny bull trying to kill marwood?? more likely than you think

• this man literally has dead eels in his pants. showstopping.

• both marwood AND withnail are neurotic, withnail is like "that man had eels. therefore, he's going to come to our house and kill us in the night, and I need a shotgun for protection"

• "one bed" trope really carrying some weight, I love this

• "MONTY YOU TERRIBLE CUNT"

• marwood's terrified grin makes me sad actually because I've been """flirted with""" like this and it's so scary, both me and marwood are very non-confrontational - I think this is a good movie for talking about consent and "soft no's"

• "we want the finest wines available to humanity" I love them, this reminds me of Black Books 💕

• monty, shut up challenge - marwood doesn't deserve this, I feel so bad, it's actual harassment, you can see how angry and uncomfortable he is

• this assault scene is... Distressing - I feel pity for everyone in this movie but simultaneously feel like I shouldn't, im so conflicted

• WITHNAIL NO

• withnail....... my disappointment is boundless, please stop being such a moron ❤

• one last mental breakdown for marwood, as a treat

• mmmmm, that ending line...

Okay - I really really liked this movie. It's so pretty at times, and funny, and cozy. I feel bad that Marwood is getting harassed though ;-; that really sucks. At least he got the happy ending...

extra photos I liked:

[qtheronie]

Dazais ill-fortune

Warnings; fluff to angst, mention of death, some cuss words.

Yuh girl back at it again with some angst!

And I’m sorry if this is super crappy and if you find grammar errors, the thing I use to help with my writing has disowned me!

My goal in life was to get enough money to buy a cure for my mother's sickness. So that's why I started working at the armed detective agency. I became friends with a man named Osamu Dazai then soon became lovers. I’ve made so many friends and memories apon working here. My first memory was when I first met Osamu

{February 14th, past.}

I pulled the doors open to mine and my boyfriend's favorite cafe. As I walked in, I was greeted by one of my ideal workers, Amani Takahashi. She immediately grabbed two menus and walked me towards my usual booth.

She had sat me down and grinned, she pulled out her little notebook and grabbed the pencil from her ear and asked me what to drink.

“The usual?” she asked, and I nodded in return. “And for the special boy?”

“The usual for him as well, a black coffee.”

Amani smiled and scribbled down the request and ran off to the kitchen. I had pulled out my phone and looked at the time. (7:30) It flashed. I sighed and turned off my phone, waiting for him to come.

Amani came back with our drinks and set them onto the table. She pulled out her little notebook again and asked if I was ready to order. But I told her no and to wait for (Boyfriend's name) to show up. The waitress nodded and put her notebook back into her pants and walked off to more customers.

Thirty minutes had now passed, and they're still was no sign of him showing up. I let out a soft groan and rested my hand on my cheek and looked out the window. ‘He’s going to show up! I know he will, I just need to wait.’

I sighed and looked at my phone, an hour had passed and still no trace of him. Not even a text. The bell on the door to the cafe had rung, making my head peep up. I was hoping that it was him, but it was a boy with shaggy brown hair with bandages wrapped around his arms and face making it look like he was heavily injured. I cringed at the scene and wished that he was doing okay.

He looked over at my way and made eye contact with me; he showed a soft smile as I did in return. I felt a notification go off on my phone, which caused me to break eye contact with the boy and look down at my phone.

I had received a text message from (boyfriend's name). I smiled a bit. I opened my phone and went into his contact and called him, which he picked up seconds later.

“Hey!” I heard his voice from the other line, “I'm sorry that I didn't show up today. I was uh, a little busy.”

The small smile on my face had dropped. Of course, he was busy. He always is.

“It's okay. I should’ve known that you were busy.” I was going to ask him if we could replan, but I heard the faint voice of a woman. “Are you at work?”

“No, I’m at home. Why?”

Now, I didn’t want to be one of those girlfriends who assumes that your partner is cheating on you, but why was there a voice of a woman on the other line? I shake my head at my thoughts and respond to him.

“No reason, just making sure you’re safe.”

There was that voice again, but this time it was louder and was calling out to (Boyfriend’s name).

“(boyfriend’s name), is anyone with you?”

“No.” He responded, “God, you’re getting nosy.”

“Oh- uh sorry, I was just wondering.”

“No, you think I have a girl over don’t I?”

Well yea kinda, I’m not dumb I heard a voice. I thought.

“No! Of course not.”

“I know you’re thinking that I do, you think I'm cheating on you?”

“(boyfriend’s name)-” But I was too late, he hung up.

I set my phone down on the table roughly and curled my hands. Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes as time passed. I folded my arms on the table and let my head fall. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to prevent tears from falling.

“Whats a beautiful lady like you sitting here all by yourself and crying due to boyfriend issues” I heard a voice ask. I lifted up my head to see that same man who I saw earlier. I quickly wipe away my tears and straighten my back.

“How did you-” I started but was quickly cut off.

“Waitress” the strange man called, “Can I get a cup of wine, and this beautiful young lady a?”

“You don’t need to get me anything, i'm good.”

“Please, I hate to see such a pretty face cry. So Please, what would you like?”

I looked at the man shyly and then told him what I wanted, “A strawberry milkshake, please” The waiter smiled and took note and left to the kitchen.

“Why are you doing this? We don’t even know each other.”

“Well, we can solve that problem! I am Osamu Dazai”

Osamu Dazai, I thought. He looks like one. I look at Dazai once again. Now I can see more detail of what he looks like. He had gorgeous brown eyes that somewhat matched the pale color of his skin. He has bandages wrapped around his arms and face. He had also had a little gauze patch on his cheek and was even wearing a black trench coat.

“Well, m’lady, you have a name right?” Dazai asked, breaking me out of my train of thought.

“Oh yea, sorry. My name is (Your name), (Last name).”

{Present}

That was the day that I had met Osamu Dazai, valentines day. Where my boyfriend couldn’t join me because he was busy with some girl or something. I’m almost glad that (boyfriend’s name) didn’t come. Dazai made me realize that I didn’t need such a person that I didn’t need someone who didn’t love me. Cause one day, he's going to wake up and notice that he should’ve tried. And that I was worth the fight.

The only person I needed was Osamu.

That brings us up to the next important memory I had of Osamu.

{ May 30th, past }

“Osamu, how much longer am I going to have to wait?” (Your name) asked, trying to adjust her seat in the car while being blindfolded. “My butt hurts.”

(Your name) heard the man beside her chuckling before the car came to a stop. “You don’t need to wait any longer! I shall come and save you, my belladonna.” Dazai unbuckled his seat belt and got out of his car. He then opened the door on (Your names) side and carefully helped her out.

He grabbed onto her hand and led her through what felt like sand. “Osamu Dazai, I swear if you’re going to try to make me commit double suicide with you, then I am not interested.”

Dazai once chuckled again, “Don’t worry. It’s not going to be a double suicide this time. Though I wish you would just let me die in your arms, then I would be at peace.” he slightly pouted.

“You know, if I wasn’t blindfolded I might’ve just happened to take that offer”

“My sweet belladonna, would you really!?” Dazai’s eyes had lightened up in excitement.

“Just kidding.” Dazai groaned and mumbled a few words under his breath.

After a few minutes of walking they were finally there. Dazai had (Your name) stay in place as he stood behind her and untied her blindfold. The girl felt Dazais fingers slowly untie the knot. Soon light quickly invaded her face making her squint as she slowly started to adjust her eyes to the new light her and mouth dropped.

He had taken her to the beach. He knew that she loved midnight walks on beaches so when he finally got some free time from the agency he would take her to the beach at midnight. And then confess what he longed to do. His love.

“You might wanna close your mouth before bugs get in.”

(Your name) chuckled and slapped his chest playfully, she then felt dazais back press onto her chest. He wrapped his arms around her figure and rested his face between her neck and shoulders. (Your name) rested one hand on top of dazais, and the other went up into his hair. “My, my, someone's affectionate tonight.” Dazai left an “mhm” for a response. His grip onto her waist had grown tighter as if someone were to take her away from him. He buried his head deeper between her neck and shoulders and let out a soft I love you. He wasn’t thinking that he was going to get a response, but when (Your name) said that she loved him too, his world stopped.

Dazai took a deep breath and pulled away from (your name) and made her turn around. Dazai closed his eyes and let out a sigh before starting. “Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes or your smile. It could’ve been your hair, or your voice, or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall. Pretty damn hard.”

“Osamu-”

“I love you. I don’t ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.” Dazai had finished, he had a small spark of hope that the girl who he felt so desperately in love with would return the feelings, but her silence was beginning to make him doubt the little faith he had.

“(your name),” He started, “I'm sorry-” But he was quickly cut off as he felt her lips on his.

(Your name) had placed her hands on both sides of his cheeks and pulled away but close enough that she felt his breath on her lips. “I love you,” she said before placing another kiss on his lips before pulling back. “Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.” and she kissed him again but this time it was longer.

Dazai had put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him, then he pulled back from the kiss.

“Then would you do me the favor of becoming the one who I can commit a double suicide with?”

“Depends.” (Your name) giggled, “will you become my boyfriend?”

Dazai smirked and kissed her again, “I think you already know the answer to that, belladonna”

{Present}

Now, we’ve come along this far, and you’re probably thinking that I fulfilled the goal I had for my mother and married Osamu.

No.

Everybody has their share of life before they have to leave.

So this is the last important memory I had of Osamu, the day I died.

{June 19th, past}

We were walking down the road hand in hand when it happened. If it wasn’t for (your names) special ability, it wouldn’t have been dazai instead of her.

A white-looking car had sped down the road with the windows down with two men in it, the driver and the passenger with the gun. As the car drove past the two couple (Your names) ability had activated, making the world slow down. She had looked to the left where dazai had been at, which was next to the car. The person in the passenger seat had fired the gun rapidly. The girl let go of dazais hand and latched on to his arm, making him stumble back, making him nearly missing the bullets.

This wasn’t (your names) plan, her plan was to take him home and grant him his wish and start a family with him. It also wasn’t her plan to get shot at either.

(Your names) ability has disactivated making the car sped off and dazai falling to the ground with (your name) on him.

“(Your name)!” She heard dazai scream her name. He quickly got off the ground and pick (your name) up and into his arms.

She had felt dazais chest rise up and down quickly, and his grip on her tighten as he runs. The girl looked up at her boyfriend, gazing at his face that had the sheer look of panic.

“Osamu.” (Your name) whispered, she lifted her hand and caressed his cheek. “I’m not going to make it.”

This caused dazai to look down at the girl, tears running down his face. “No! Don’t say that, we’re so close to the agency! Yasono will help you! She’ll heal you!”

(Your name) smiled and coughed out a little blood, “Osamu, you know I love you. I love you so much, so very much.”

“Please just a little longer! I can see the agency from here!” Dazai cried. He was never like this, but he couldn’t care less that people could see him scream and cry. The love of his life, his girlfriend, his soon to be wife, and his baby (pet name), was dying in his arms.

“Osamu, you’re..so..strong..” (your name) whispered, letting her hand slowly fall from his face.

Dazai got to the building where the agency was, and kicked the door open, “yosano!” Dazai yelled, which to his luck, the doctor rushed out of her office.

She looked at the boy with the girl in his arms and ushered him into her office. Dazai had set the girl onto the bed and backed up, letting the female doctor take over.

It had only been an hour or two, but to dazai, it felt like the entirety. Yosano had opened the door and looked at dazai with pain in her eyes. Dazai stood up from his seat and ran into the room, and there she was. On a bed, she was barely breathing. He knew that it was only going to be a bit until she had to go.

He walked to her bed and sat on the chair beside her. Dazai reached over to (your names) hand and held it. He then placed his other hand on the side that he was holding and brought it up to his head, “Of course I’m strong. I’m your..your Osamu.” He finally spoke, answering (your names) response from before.

He had heard (your name) slightly and quietly giggled. She turned her head and lifted her unoccupied hand and placed it on dazais cheek. “That’s right. You’re my Osamu. Don’t ever doubt your strength even though you don’t feel it.”

“I love you (your name)! You can’t leave me, please. I don’t know what I would do without you!”

“Osamu..”

“If you’re going to leave me, then at least let me come with you!”

“No Osmau..it isn’t your time yet.”

“Please..” he cried out

(Your name) grabbed his hand and pressed his palm agasint her lips, “I love you so much.”

Dazai had let go of her hand and placed his on her cheek, rubbing his thumb on her cheekbone. “I love you too”

“I’m glad that I get to die by your side. I do.” (Your name) smiled, and used the last of her strength to kiss the man she loved so much, dazai quickly pressed a hand on her back and head.

Dazai pulled back to look at the girl “(your name)?” Dazai asked, but got no response. He slowly laid her down. “You promised (your name).” He mumbled, “you promised that you would commit double suicide with me.” Dazai looked down at the women he loved and grabbed her cold hand. “But you forget that you can’t do a double suicide alone.”

{present}

This is the end of my story, the story that took so long to start and finish too fast.

We learn that some stories just don’t have happy endings, and sometimes that’s okay, cause one day you’ll meet again.

END

Haha, thank you for reading this long angst and sucky book. This took me about a week to complete, and this is the longest story I have ever written.

Quotes I used: “you’re..so..strong..” “Of course I’m strong. I’m your..your..” -Mikhail and yuliy, Sirius the jaeger.

“Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes or your smile. It could’ve been your hair, or your voice or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall. Pretty damn hard.” -unknown

“I love you. I don’t ask you to reciprocate the feeling. All I ask you is to respect what I feel. Because falling for you was never something I planned.” -unknown

“Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason.” -unknown

(I got all of my quotes on Pinterest)

Big thanks to @xxxlilacskiesxxx skiesxxx for letting me use your Oc, Amani Takahashi.

And a big thanks to @tea-memes for helping me correct this and giving me ideas for this. Big help :)

[awkward-child-of-satan]

Criminally in Love

An analogical fic by yours truly

Logan and Virgil are roommates and dumb idiots (I know what I said) who are obviously in love but too oblivious to realize the feeling is mutual. Now let's rob them of their earthly possessions shall we?

Virgil is non binary with two different eye colors bc why not

Potential triggers : suffocation and attempted murder. (if I missed anything don't hesitate to lmk )

Enjoy!

It had been a quiet night at first. Two friends sat on opposite ends of the couch trying not to seem contemplative. The one on the right was a tall, calculating man with black squared glasses and hair that was tinted blue as a result of lost bet.The one on the right hair that was tinted blue as result of lost bet.If one were to look close, they would see purple hair and dark eyeshadow framing mismatched eyes.Eyes the person in question hated, but the man opposite of them could get lost in if given the chance.

 

Of course, he'd never admit it out loud. If he did, the whole place would go into chaos and comfortable nights like this would be lost. This was his only neutral. The only way to maintain his relationship with his best friend. He had to keep these thoughts to himself. He had to keep himself at arms length and watch what he said. It was overall exhausting, but ultimately worth it.

 

" Hey Lo?" His thoughts were interrupted by the figure to his right. He looked up at them and found both blue and green eyes staring up at him smiling softly.

 

"Yes Virgil?"

 

"I'm gonna head on up to bed, ok?"

 

"Of course, don't let me stop you. I'll see you in the morning then?"

 

"Yea, you will."

 

And just like that, Virgil stood up, stretched, and walked upstairs to their room down the hall from Logan's.

 

Seeing that there was nothing keeping him downstairs alone he decided that the best course of action would be to go to sleep himself. Standing up, he went and shut off the lights, making his way towards the stairs. As he walked up, step by step he couldn't help but feel as though something were off in his small, shared house. Mentally checking through everything he locked and shut off, he concluded that he was just tired and paranoid. All the more reason to get to bed, he thought, making his way up the stairs again.

 

Finally arriving at the top of the stairs, he was faced with a door brandishing a purple storm cloud and lightning. Logan smiled, thinking back on the day he helped Virgil paint the door. It may have taken 3 weeks of accidental peeks of bare skin, but Virgil found the door completely worth it, and that's all that Logan cared about.

 

Finally returning to the present, he gave a small knock on the door and entered upon hearing a small voice saying 'come in'. The room was painted all black with different Halloween decorations scattered around the room. (But it's the middle of March, why do you need so many bags of spider web? Because, Logan, it's my aesthetic.) He looked over at the Nightmare Before Christmas comforter and smiled, repeating a phrase he said every night.

 

"I'm going to head to bed myself, feel free to wake me up in case of anything."

 

To which Virgil giggled and said their reply:

 

"Why, would I do that when you clearly need your beauty sleep?"

 

Both friends laughed lightly and waved goodnight, not daring to break the tension. It was always like this. Every night. Everyday. All the time. It was as though they were trapped in a time vertex and every time they came close to confessing, it would start over. They were prisoners to their own feelings and insecurities. Forever in the friend zone, never to make a move. It was almost pathetic the way they let their fears control them. But it was all they had. And it's all they needed.

 

___________________

 

It was a loud crash that awoke Logan a few hours later. He sat straight up and looked around, finding his room incredibly still. He closed his eyes and listened for anything unordinary. There was a muffled shuffling of feet coming from down the hall but Logan was unsure if it was actually Virgil or not. I'm sure there's no harm in finding out, he reasoned.

 

Crawling out of bed he noticed the bathroom window was opened and his anxiety had spiked. Virgil never opened windows in the middle of the night as it was too cold. Realization finally dawning on him, he ran to the next room, accidentally hitting something behind the door that let out a loud 'oomph'.

 

Quickly, he ran to the light switch and turned the light on, revealing two masked figures, one on the floor and the other on top of Virgil, holding a pillow over his face. Upon seeing the attempted murder, Logan ran over to the bed and pushed the black clad intruder off of Virgil and punched them square in the jaw. Attempting to keep them further away from Virgil as possible, he went over to the figure on the floor and attempted to restrain him. On the bed, Virgil let out a deep gasp, attempting to get as much air as possible. Finally catching their breath, they addressed their roommate on the floor

 

"Logan wha-"

 

"Virgil call the police, now!"

 

Scrabbling to get to the phone as soon as possible, they nearly tripped over the other intruder on the floor, hitting him on the head harder than intended. It was as though they were in a movie scene and everything around them was life or death, causing a spike in anxiety and urgency.

 

It was about another 20 minutes until the police arrived and took both intruders into custody. The two roommates on the other hand stood leaning on a police car, both giving their statements of the incident. Afterwards, both of them looked at each other, trying to figure out what to say next, the tension once again surfacing in their eyes. Surprisingly enough, it was Virgil who broke the silence.

 

"Uhm, thank you, for the uh-, well the-, um, for saving my life."

 

Logan nodded, "Are you alright?"

 

"Yeah I'm ok, although my throat does hurt. I'll be fine in the morning."

 

A new silence fell upon them. Logan, more frustrated now than before decided to be the first to speak this time.

 

"Are you going to be okay in your own room? I know you kind of had an unpleasant experience right now-"

 

"I'll be fine. I might just feel a bit uneasy after tonight, one never knows when they're about to be attacked." They said, their voice dropping low along with their head, attempting to avoid eye contact. Logan lifted their head to meet his, and looked at them in their beautiful eyes. Virgil held their breath, trying not to break the tension or the bubble,they should say, that both friends tried to maintain.

"I will always watch over you, this I swear Virgil. "

They let out a laugh that came out more like a huff, and looked down again before looking back at Logan's deep brown eyes.

"You really think I'm worth so much fuss?"

"Every bit of it, and more," he paused, hesitating before deciding to continue, "Virgil, you mean the moon to me, and I don't ever want to lose you. Every atom and molecule in my body screams out to you unlike anyone else I've ever known. At first I couldn't place the feeling since it hurt as much as it felt good, but I figured it out and," he paused again, trying to think rationally about it. But he couldn't continue to just stay friends with the smaller figure before him, so he had to say it.

"Virgil Storm, I believe that I've fallen head over heels in love with you, and I must certainly do not intend to get back up."

Both friends were silent, not knowing what to say. The bubble was finally broken and feelings were out in the open. Virgil looked down at their feet, tears forming in their eyes as they tried to figure out what was supposed to come next. Confusion and uncertainty filled their mind as they went through everything that could possibly go wrong. Yet for some reason, a voice in the back of their head told him to stop. That nothing will go wrong because they loved Logan too. The voice that said that just loving each other was enough for now, and that they could worry about everything else later because now they knew, Logan loved them too.

They looked up at Logan and saw the absolute great in his eyes after their long pause. Virgil couldn't help but feel bad but they knew that Logan understood that they needed the time to work through their feelings and come to the conclusion that they did. Thats why they work so well together, because Logan understood and Virgil took the precautions needed to understand everything that was going on. They smiled as they looked back into the dark chocolate swirls that were Logan's eyes and finally gave him the answer he was waiting for.

"Logan Crofters, I'm in love with you too, and I don't plan on doing anything to change that."

And with that, they cupped Logan's face, bringing it closer to them and put their foreheads together. The two of them stayed there for a while, closing their eyes and basking in the bliss of newfound love and cherishing the moment of just being there, and never being alone again.

 Tag List:

@periwinklepost-its

@myhorriblepropeladdiction @thefluffyotter33

[43th3rz30n]

A fluffy curse, chapter 2

--Let's travel a bit--

"Harmony," Raika says, holding Harmonys hands "Is it true that true loves kiss will get rid of this..." He began to wag his tail slightly. "Yeah but you're kinda cute as a Neko..." Harmony giggled, caressing Raikas cheek. Raika purred slightly "Stop.... you're making me purr..." He smiled slightly. "Well.... How about it? Shall we try?" Harmony asked, her eyes sparkling in the light. "Try what?" He blinked. "Kiss, silly" She giggled again, bringing her face closer to his. "Ah, I should've guessed..." Raika then brought his face closer to Harmonys, allowing them to kiss. Once they kissed, Harmony watched as Raikas ears and tail disappeared, meaning he was finally normal. "Thank you" He gave her a warm smile "Now then.... what's say we-"

But.... all that was just a simple dream.

"GAH! IM AWAKE!" Harmony shot up, her breathing heavy. "Harmony, are you okay?" Raika asked, hopping onto her bed. "I-im fine.... it's just... I had a dream and..." Harmony tried to explain what had happened, but she couldn't. "Anyways, the other two have been whining and meowing for food. I told them to wait, but they refused" Raika pounced down from the bed and left the room. "Oh no.... that could only mean one thing..." Harmony sighed, getting out of bed and leaving her room to enter the kitchen. There, she found Lan and Chaud snacking on some cat biscuits they had knocked onto the floor. "You guys.... seriously?" Harmony nudged them away with a dustpan and brush and began to clean up their mess. "We where hungry..." Lan whined as he began to try and shove as many biscuits into his mouth as he could. "Why not just wait next time?" Harmony sighed again "I really don't wanna be doing this kind of stuff..... guess I'll have to manage..." she placed the floor biscuits into the bin "Now then.... Lets get you lot fed then...." She then opened the cupboard again to both put away the biscuit box and get out a fresh tin of cat food. "Don't worry, I'll get you all some water in a minute..." She said, putting the cat food in their bowls. I forgot to mention this, but they where both appropriately coloured and had their names on them so they could tell who's is who's. Once done, she picked up their water bowls and, of course, filled them with water. "Now then..... I gotta make myself some food...." Harmony placed their water bowls back down.

"You guys wanna go out and explore a bit today?" Lan asks, still munching on his food. Chaud shook his head "After yesterday, let's not.... that dog could still be out there..." Both Chaud and Lan then shivered from just the sheer memory of the dogs barking. Raika, on the other hand, didn't, as he didn't go with them and was asleep most of the time. "Hm? So, you guys encountered.... him...." Harmony growled at the word 'him'. "Do you know that dog?" Lan began to almost shove his entire head in his water bowl. Harmony nods "Yes. His name is Inferno and he recently ran away from some thing where people force animals to fight. It's a tv show, but I only watch it so I can take notes in hope I can someday shut it down and save those poor animals..." she explained "And please don't drown yourself, Lan...". Lan pulled his head from the water bowl and began to gasp for air. "What're you trying to do, exactly?" Chaud asks "I'm sure that's not how to drink water....". "I do what I want, Chaud. It's my life" Lan huffed in response, shoving his head back in his water bowl for another 5 seconds before pulling back up and properly drinking the water.

"What. The. Fuck." Chaud would facepalm, but he's a cat, so he obviously can't. He just decides to walk off, but finds himself inside a small room under the stairs(*distant harry potter theme*). Lan had finally finished his and left no trace.... apart from some minor splashes of water and a few pieces of cat food. Raika had actually finished before the both of them, but was just sitting near his two bowls. "Hm? You haven't left yet?" Harmony said, crouching down and gently petting Raika. Raika growled as she did so, causing her to pull away. "So, you don't exactly like being pet, do you..." Harmony sighed. Raika mumbled something under his breath, getting up and walking off, putting his tail up as if to say 'hecc off'. "Wait did a 12 year old just swear a few seconds ago?" Harmony stood back up "I think so....". "I'm so bored..." Lan began to roll around on the sofa, before accidentally turning on the tv via rolling on the remote. The other two cats stop what they're doing and come over to inspect what was going on. Lan pounces off of the sofa and joins Chaud and Raika in watching the tv, sitting in the middle of the two. What was on tv appeared to be some horror movie. The movie was titled 'The beast in the portrait'. When one of the beasts formed from a portrait that was hung up on the wall and began running towards the screen, Lan began to loudly meow. "Lan, shut it!" Chaud gently bonked Lan on the head. Lan growls "Alright, Alright....". "I heard this movie is rated 18. We shouldn't be watching this." Raika spoke. "We'll be fine, Raika." Lan replied, eyes fixed on the tv screen. Then, a spooky thing happend, causing the three to hide in all different places, scattering god knows what all over the place. Harmony heard the spooked cat noises and entered the front room "Really? You're watching THIS of all movies?" She growled, turning off the tv. Chaud came out of hiding, with Raika following, who was dragging Lan along.

"Look, I'm going out today to get you three some toys and a cat flap. Can you stay out of trouble, please?" Harmony sighed, facepalming. Raika and Chaud nodded. "Oh come on, aren't we too old for toys?" Lan walked up to her and sat down. "It's just to keep you entertained." She then walked to the back door and opened it, watching as the three ran out "And stay safe!" She called out as she closed the door. "Alright. Now let's go!" Lan jumped up on the wall and ran off. Raika and Chaud looked at eachother before following the Havana Brown towards the town. "It feels so good to be back!" Lan stretched. "But Lan, this place is pretty dangerous..." Chaud lands next to Lan after jumping off a trash bin. Raika began to sniff the area, curiously. Lan signalled for the two to follow him. Okay now I know this is a bad time to cut but

-Meanwhile, in the cyberworld-

"I'm still wondering why that cat was meowing at me" Megaman said to both Protoman and Searchman. "Normally, cats meow quite alot" Protoman replied. "Yeah, Well.... I feel like this one was trying to talk to me..." Megaman done that hmm emoji thing idk how to describe it. "Did you see the collars?" Searchman spoke up "They had our Navi marks on them. Perhaps they where actually our NetOps". "But they're cats..... how can they?" Protoman is SERIOUSLY that dumb in this fanfic? I mean... he thinks he's god.... AAAANYWAYS, it eventually clicked. "THE MYSTICTINY!" They all said in unison. "I mean, it was pretty obvious" Searchman sighed. Megaman just laughed, but Protoman.... he just zoned out

'Why did Harmony have to exist'

Back with the main trio now. Yeah, the cyberworld talk was short, I know. I'm sorry. Will have longer parts for them

Anyways, Lan was leading the group through town, as he had more knowledge from previous trips to Aurora. "What should we do today...." Lan looked up at the sky, not watching where he was going. "There's not much to do as a cat other than walk around.... and watch where you're going!" Raika began to chase Lan as he began to wander off in a different direction. Chaud sighed and followed. Lan ended up bumping into a wall..... so it seemed. It was the same dog from yesterday. "H-hi.... uhh..." Lan took a few steps back as the dog growled "Don't worry, w-we're leaving..." he then ran off, leaving Chaud and Raika behind. "What's say we follow him?" Chaud suggested as the dog walked closer. Raika nods "Yeah...." and the two where off like a rocket. They soon found Lan in the same bakery as yesterday. He had a piece of pastry in his mouth. This time it was larger than the last one. It was actually a full one... whatever that means. Anyways, Lan brought the pastry over to the two and placed it down infront of them. "It's a little buuut..... we'll manage" Lan took a bite of the pastry, only to yowl out in pain "GAH! I WAS WRONG! WE WONT MANAGE" He whimpered. Chaud chuckled "Just let it cool down, then we'll manage, just like you said".

After a long while of waiting, Chaud and Lan began to eat the pastry, but Raika didn't. "Raika, what're you waiting for? Dig in?" Lan said to the Russian Blue, mouth full of food. Raika was silent. "Okay, fine, I stole it... but it was worth it" Lan just openly admitted to stealing. Ok. Cool. Don't steal, kids(Oh god without the comma that could turn unusually dark quick). "That's exactly why I'm not even taking a bite out of it...." Raika huffed. "Oh come on! Just because it's stolen doesn't mean - oh I dunno - that it's poisoned or something" Lan then procceeded to take some meat that was inside of it out and handed it to Raika. Raika looked and sniffed it before eating it. "See, it's nothing bad..." Lan then began to eat the pastry again. 'I mean.... it'll be fine, won't it?' Raika thought to himself as he took a small bite of the pastry. He deemed the pastry okay and began to eat it with the other two and in a matter of minutes, the pastry was gone. "Alright, what next?" Lan said, shaking as if he was drying himself. The other two practically shrugged, but they can't because they're cats. "Let's just have a look around, since there's nothing really to do as cats" Chaud suggested "And maybe it might help us get around here the next time we come". "If we ever get turned back into humans, that is" Raika added. "I'm sure we will, Raika! Now come on! Let's go!" Lan then ran off to explore, Raika and Chaud following. "At this point we're just going back to places we've already been...." Chaud sighs. "Hey, I don't exactly wanna get lost" Lan growled slightly "..... oh, hey... it's the fountain again" He then ran towards the fountain, allowing himself to sit on the wall thing idk what it's called. The other two did the same thing, but Chaud felt a little evil and had the urge to shove Lan in. He slowly raised a paw, but noticed Raikas expression as the eldest cat shook his head. Chaud sighed in defeat but decided to then get behind Raika and shove HIM in. "Chaud? Why'd ya do that?" Lan asked, giggling. "I don't know. I just felt like it" Chaud grinned in response. Raika growled and, with his mouth, grabbed Chauds front right leg and pulled him in. "Raika!" He yelled "What was that for!?". "Hey, you did it to me. It only seems fair that I do it to you, too" Raika gave Chaud the same grin he was wearing a few seconds ago.

They then noticed that Lan was gone. "Hey wait- where's Lan?" Raika asked. Soon, they heard footsteps - or should I say 'pawsteps' - coming closer. "Oh no..." The Angora and Russian Blue said in sync as they noticed what was about to happen. "CANNON BALL!" They hear Lan shout as the Havana Brown dives in, unfortunately landing ontop of the two. "Lan!" They shout as Lan gets off of them. "Sorry." He laughed. Chaud then charged at Lan and knocked him over. "Alright, fair.... " Lan got up and shook off, getting water all over Chaud, dispite the fact he was already soaking. "We should get going now.... plus, cats can't shake off as easily as dogs" Raika says, hopping out from the fountain and shaking off, the younger two joining him. Lan soon walked off, leaving the other two behind. He eventually found himself sneaking inside of some shop. As he entered, he saw all sorts of candy, ranging from bubblegum to rock candy. I mean.... He had wandered into a candy shop and boy was it large! Lan knew he would have to come here when he's human again. "Wow.... look at all this candy!" He gasped "This all looks so good!" Lans mouth began to water, but then he shook his head and snapped himself out of it "No. I'm a cat.... cats can't eat candy". Even though he was a cat, Lan decided to take a small look around until he reached a section that had a sign that read 'Pet candy'. " 'Pet candy'?" He tilted his head as he walked over to it. There, he found all sorts of pet friendly candy for all sorts of animals. Ranging from cats to birds, there was a candy type for everyone. "Woah... they do this stuff?" Lan made his way over to a basket with a picture of a cat on "This must be the cat section...." He then took one of the candies from the basket. It was in a wrapper, so Lan figured out how to open it with his mouth. Underneath the wrapper revealed a brightly coloured stick of what appeared to be candy especially designed for cats. Lan took a small bite of the candy and meowed happily at its strawberry taste. He eventually ate the whole thing. "Wait.... do I have to pay for all of this when I'm a human..." Lan gulped and fled the scene, leaving an empty wrapper behind. He eventually bumped into Raika and Chaud, who appeared to be covered in dirt. "We where looking for you!" Raika hissed. "I even got my fur dirty!" Chaud, too, hissed. "Oh come on! I mean, I recently discovered that Aurora has invented pet friendly candy!" Lan smiled, pushing past the other two "We have the rest of the day ahead of us, so let's go explore!" He ran off again. "Will he ever stop running off?" Chaud sighed, angrily, as he and Raika chase Lan. It soon got crowded, and the three had to stick together.

"We should head back.... it's getting a bit too crowded..." Lan says, almost stepping on Raikas paw as they where literally sticking together. "Yeah, but which way is back?" Chaud asks, turning his head to look around. "We had better not be lost..." Lan, without thinking, runs on ahead. "Lan! Wait! We're supposed to stick together!" Chaud calls out to his friend as he and Raika chase him..... again. The area started to get less crowded as they soon found Lan, walking around in circles. Chaud then tackles Lan for no actual reason. "Quit running off, would you!?" He yelled at the smaller cat. "I can't help it!" Lan yelled back, kicking Chaud off of him and getting up. Chaud began to growl and hiss at Lan before turning around and walking away "Let's just go home before someone gets hurt...." he says, taking another path back home. Raika and Lan are quick to follow him.

Once they arrived back at home, They quickly rushed to get through the door, but little did they know..... it wasn't open and they all..... went through it? It appears that Harmony had installed a cat flap and in a single file, they fell through it, Raika being the last one to come through. "Welcome back, you three" Harmony greeted the fluffy trio as they walked over to their bowls, which had food and water already in them. Lan was quick to dig in to his food, but Raika and Chaud just went off to sleep. "Hey wait...." Harmony stopped the two before they could go to sleep. "Hm? What is it?" Raika asked. "I got you these" She held out two collars that looked like the ones they had on already. This time, they had their names on them and, while it wasn't visible, it had a crystal inside that could allow them to communicate to humans and NetNavis, but also talk to animals, which they already could, as they where animals. She took of their current collars and placed the new ones on. Lan came over to see what was going on, as he was eating and wouldn't let Harmony touch him while he was doing so. "What's going on?" He jumped onto the sofas arm. "I just gave Chaud and Raika new collars..." She replied, getting out a third. This one was the same. Identical to Lans current collar but with his name on it and a crystal that allowed him to communicate to humans and NetNavis. Lan was hesitant at first to get a new collar, but soon he allowed Harmony to take off his current and put on his new. "Hey, you guys wanna explore some more tomorrow?" Lan pounced on both Raika and Chaud, sitting inbetween the two. "Let's have a day in tomorrow...." Raika moved away slightly to curl up and go to sleep. Chaud sighs, also moving away to do what Raika did. Lan didn't. Lan wanted to go back outside to explore but.... he couldn't. He decided to curl up on Harmonys bed and go to sleep.

[yeet-me-into-oblivion-please]

Well, Supernatural is actually ending and I don't know what I'll do

[ Brevity is not a strong suit of mine since I've included personal details but there's stuff I feel everyone in the SPN family needs to read]

You might be expecting another post about how Supernatural saved someone's life and how devastated they will be when it ends because they've watched it for so long as well as how the actors have impacted their lives. This is probably one of those but please hear me out.

Supernatural premiered in 2005 and I was in preparatory class (aged 5 years and was before I began 1st grade). I heard of it because my aunt would watch it time to time so I'd also tried to get some peeks myself but I wasn't allowed to because it was "too scary".

Then our local cable began to show seasons 1-5 and that was when everyone in class started watching and quoting it. This was in 6th grade and I was frustrated because I knew about it before most of them yet they acted like it was a new show. I had a fair idea about the story but once I began watching it, I fell in love with it and loved it like a part of my soul.

Yes, Jensen Ackles was my first crush but I still thought (and do think) that both he and Jared are super hot. So I was sucked into this vortex, this Neverland which I never thought I would end.

I joined Tumblr for this show in 2013 because I saw the jokes about there being a Supernatural gif everywhere and wanted to be a part of the fandom/community. This was also the year I actually became interested what other fans felt though I never used this site properly until 2016 I would read the IMDb discussion boards because I hated scurrying through Destiel-infested posts.

(Fun fact:I wasn't using any social media of my own but on my mother's Facebook I liked a Supernatural fan page asking people's opinions on Destiel. This is was around the time season 8 was just finishing or had already finished so I read the comments--- people talked about Dean and Castiel being gay and didn't approve of it as there was this one girl who was conservative and didn't believe in homosexuality while others went on how Dean was always a ladies man which I agreed with. Not that I commented but I thought there was something I missed and I thought Castiel used Dean as a vessel, thus Destiel.)

But I digress. I was in deep by the time season 9 premiered and majority of the people I knew stopped watching the show except for this girl who bullied me throughout preschool who put up this update that Dean had become a demon. I doubt she watches the show now but it was hard seeing her put pictures of "I heart Dean Winchester" and pictures of Jensen when my mom asked me why I don't do the same.

Supernatural, I feel, has become that embarrassing thing you are into in middle school but suddenly drop when you're older, looking back and thinking, "Yeesh, I can't believe I used to watch this show."

I'll be a grown woman at 30 or 40 and probably eventually in my 70s and 80s but I will still look back fondly, the good, the bad and the ugly because I have like many teenagers have undergone many changes (friends, family, emotions, hobbies etc) but Supernatural has always been this constant in my life.

Because let me tell you, I'm seeing these posts saying stuff like how people are glad that it's finally over with its "bullshit" and that's it's dying. That is extremely disrespectful and insensitive to those people who literally live for it, who have invested time and money into it: gif makers, artists, meta writers (I may not agree with you guys but even you count). They don't know what to do once the show ends because it has helped them in ways others will never ever be able to fathom.

I saw the video put up by the guys. I saw and I could tell that Jared, Jensen and Misha had probably cried their guts out before the announcement because their eyes were red and puffy. Jared was controlling himself by talking less as Jensen was clearly on the verge as well but yes they said that they should save the angst for next year.

I love the guys; I love Jared being a goofball and Jensen being equally goofy as well and I'll say this too, I used to enjoy some of Misha's crass jokes (not the highlight ) as well which was why I looked forward to the gag reel every summer (because of J2) because it was cathartic after a traumatic season finale. I love the witty banter and the pranks the cast would do and I will miss it tremendously.

I have some issues with my aunt but everything would be okay when we would fawn over the guys and bingewatch the entire season the summer after it finished airing. We'd quote quotes back and forth and even spiritually killed ourselves watching short clips of "Sammy, close your eyes", "I'm proud of us" etc. Hell, she even promised me that when we go visit my uncle in the States we'd attend a con together.

If, and whenever we do go, it'll be different because the show won't be on air anymore and I know for a fact that I won't feel the anticipation of an episode.

So don't say disrespectful and callous things like "fucking finally". You can dislike the cast/plotline/show but don't ridicule and mock those who invested in the show,some of you are most probably speculating and have barely seen it.

I'm not some dumb, blind fan. I can see some stupid mistakes and don't always eat up what the writers show. For example, everyone must have figured that I dislike Destiel because it's based on groundless assumptions. I thought the Bloodlines was a crap idea that had nothing to do with the main plot and knew it was destined to fail.

As for Wayward Daughters/Sisters or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be called, I was not looking forward to it at all because it was one of those "forced diversity" shows, y'know gender bent stuff.

I felt that they were bastardising everything that Supernatural has and will (always) stand for because some people had a hair up their backsides. Yeah, I loathed Claire and that Kaia mourning thing was bullshit. Thank goodness I was sick that day and couldn't keep my eyes open for that episode.

If we were told that there would be a Men of Letters(with Henry Winchester) or even a Bobby-Rufus spinoff I would be okay with that but for now since the show will finish next year let's the wounds heal first, shall we?

I hope that Jared and Jensen get some offers once the show is done and I will pay good money to see movies, TV shows of them etc but for now I will keep quiet since I hope we get an ending we (and the boys) deserve.

Yes, the writer situation scares me and I think they should call Eric Kripke for a last hurrah. I mean, it is his baby and he should get to have a say in the series finale as well as J2.

Will one of the brothers die and the other will live (I'm worried we'll get a reverse Swan Song)? Will they both die leaving Cas behind and Jack as some sort legacy who trains future hunters? That would be a possibility since the sheriff in 14.16 asked the Winchesters why they don't tell people about monsters. What happens to Baby?

I seriously doubt the ending will be happy(maybe not 100%) but the best thing would be if they go driving with Baby into the sunset...

Dean at the steering wheel with Sam riding shotgun, where they should be ---- where they will always be, home. Dean plays his "mullet rock" as Sam would playfully mock his brother's musical choices. No chick flick moments. Just the Winchesters.

The boys need to lay their weary heads to rest, so they can cry no more. Because they are the legendary Winchesters, the hunters who saved the world countless times unbeknownst to many. I don't think their work will ever be done but there will be peace when they are done and how they will reach that point we'll never know till 2020.

Everyone will hear "Carry on wayward son" for the last time ever in Supernatural over a painful montage of "Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and "Saving people, hunting things, the family business". Now who in this fandom wouldn't be wracked with pain?

This is the show we all joked about that made a deal with the devil to never go off air but I did expect this a long time ago. Only thing was that I didn't know how I'd treat the news. I was that person who would go, "pfft, of course Supernatural would get renewed". Then again, this was the show that an ending was imminent and the whole season 4 debacle about Misha and the angel storyline saving the show blah blah blah.

So next year, everyone will flock to see the finale and epic conclusion to the Winchester saga whether they stopped at season 5,6,7 or 10,12. Diss it all you want for the shit show it may have become but wherever you left off, you may still want to know what happens to Sam and Dean Winchester in the end.

Once Supernatural ends, I'll turn 20 next summer and I would like to think of it being poetic that I end my adolescence with a show I have loved when I brave the cold, ruthless world of adulthood. I'm a picky person and can't say what's my favorite xyz is but you know what I'll say about my favorite TV show.

We will have completed 327 episodes which is the highest for a scifi TV show so I do hope the boys get some sort of recognition. It was us crazy bitches and jerks that gave the show the mileage and it was us that gave Jared and Jensen faith that they could carry on so for the remainder of season 14 and for 15,support these guys. Support these annoyingly sexy and ridiculously hilarious dudes for this show. I'm sure Jared and Jensen love the show like it's their kid practically but I wish everyone would just shut up, tinhatters, bronlies, stans, destihellers because we are all fans of the one show so let's ease the time we have left.

But seriously imagine Sam and Dean on a desert highway, the orange and yellow rays of the setting sun make Baby shine in all her splendor which makes Dean swell with pride. He starts the engine with a low rumble and they're off. They might to California to feel the sand beneath their feet or to Disneyland. They're living the "apple pie life" and this is their personal heaven : with each other.

I wouldn't mind this playing in the background if the ending is the inevitable and unspeakable you know what :

It's wishful thinking, since I wish they'd actually play some Zeppelin instead of song titles being used as episode titles but I wish they could use some Queen or Guns n Roses and stuff before 1979 because everything sucked ass afterwards according to Dean.

I want the classic rock resurgence in the show as well but I know they'll end up using the cash elsewhere. I wouldn't mind a body swap episode but if wishes were horses, right?

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

This had to be explained to me this morning...

Okay why I don't fucking know and they won't bother because it's fucking dumb and lazy I'm quite sure.

But.

Apparently I won't be home for Christmas, Annabelle and I will be stuck out at the Uncle, Clone, Socrates Christmas Horror with probably my cousin Chris.. Maybe my brother...

And so I said "what are people supposed to think? They're supposed to be happy and experiencing new things, this is old shit and for me?! That's gonna make them feel even worse knowing I can't be with my Kidd over some stupid invalid shit that I don't even understand except it's just plain laziness, idiotic and definitely developed by a male!! A male that's lazy about his family!!"

William: let me defend myself

Me: shut up

So I was told by someone, someone i stole a gun from shortly before my faux 16th birthday in an attempt to help save the planet (Not William but an undercover CIA agent), that in his heart he was told that this Christmas when people look around think 'Sabrina is missing out on this kind of happiness with her family' that they should remember and realize that the sadness they feel for me was felt for millions of human trafficked victims world wide, every Christmas and every holiday.

Some of us didn't know about it. Or had forgotten. So let this be the last Christmas any one is sad. It will always be a serious issue in our hearts and minds and souls. But not forever should we carry the burden of sadness and fear.

This year is the eradication of the solitude of the sadness of each Holiday being sad. Now we all know why gramma would sit in the chair alone hugging herself quietly at,the end of the day or sit the camcorder in the corner and refuse to participate like a granddaughter thought she should and try to get her to interact more because she didn't seem happy enough.

This Christmas: the sadness shall be replaced with cheer. The fear with triumph and joy.

And yes you will remember I'll not be happy and my kids without their parents.

But they have my real mom and dad. My real twin brother. Their not real Uncle that loves them as much as a dad. And many more people, nearly 100 in their neat home giving them best wishes and having Christmas dinner.

No way in Hell nor God's green Earth would i allow them to miss Christmas.

So today they will open presents from Uncle Garth and tomorrow Trisha's stockings, the next day from the Dildo King who has been making new things with his family (faux Uncle Garth and real Uncle Matt) that i asked Uncle to purchase 3 years ago in preparation of taking care of my children. And on down. And hopefully I'll be able to get there while Christmas is still happening.

I'm there in spirit as i always have been and that is my Christmas Lesson to know I cared about Children i didn't know i had. And for Declan and Annabelle, too. To know they also assumed one day they would feel Christmas joy as they once had when they were little and alone, listening to little voices explain how things were different where they lived yet no matter how close they felt they knew things were too far to really feel the Christmas joy as they should. This year they will know why.

As Declan explains. Its beautiful because they never expressed unhappiness or even jealousy or loneliness, just an eagerness to understand what they were missing out on because their belief was one day they would experience it out of slavery and here with us.

And it's true. Since my divorce... The ability to do Christmas All big and strong has dwindled... Because i have too much pain, mostly physical and can't gather the strength to make it perfect in every way. And as getting older goes Declan couldn't also hide his worries from his soulmate. Although we worked together to make it best for Annabelle. For us it was more about "Thank God it's Done and everything went perfect"

So this year... Apparently William's laziness wants us to feel that before Christmas. -.- or at Christmas. -.- like i really care. We still have so much work to do! We have mental health and we have bunkers to redo so they're not bunkers and factories to move and figure out what to do with. And employ people at a rate that doesn't cause insane inflation. Like work is never over. So Idk whst the fuck hes thinking. Im All about letting those miserable souls we can't get the missle at think they can enjoy Christmas. Pay a lot of someone's an insane amount of money to miss Christmas and sit outside their house and shadow shot them when they attempt to leave. Drop down the fucking chimney at night... Now that it's raining because the world cries for us...maybe that's not the best idea but still you get the picture. See, my husband is lazy and has no defenses. But i still love him anyways although his life woild be easier if he just listened and didn't pretend he didn't ever hear whole discussions we had where he was all "oh that's so smart!!" And make new plans when he sure as Hell knew i wasn't listening and my face looked like this:

And he tells me i should take a picture of myself because hes too afraid to tell me i look mad and wants to soften things up.

Uh Yeah when you abandon me in Hell when i fully expressed that i wanted him to come back full body in our old truck and drive me to Macy's in Oklahoma So we can get the kids Christmas presents in the form of bedding and some holiday clothing like nice dresses and suits. That they can wear while playing in mud puddles because that's what life is about as stains are like scars but stains remember less pain usually, and more laughter than tears and fears. Then he could leave me at Uncle Garths while he goes back to work. So we could spend the whole drive together and shopping time and then Declan could caravan with us.

But no. Hes all about abandonment because its easy. -.-

And now he's like way way beyond scared. Well that's what a mad face is about. Its the door to truth. And truth isn't always happy or pretty.

Its scary. And it's real. And it doesn't go away. Its Not just a point of view, it is total truth. Its at least 2 points of view and a validation.

When i told him what i wanted he promised he could do it and wss very happy.

So then later he's rambling about me stsying here while im busy making gingerbread houses and I'm quite sure he inhaled too much Stevia powder we used for snow.

William: hey now I don't wanna be in control anymore i want my wife to tell me what to do!

Uncle Donald: are you trying to hide behind Uncle Donald?

William: I'm heading that way!

Uncle Donald: well you get back to body life for yourself and we will make sure you get there safe. If not we will Chinook her express. How does that sound?

William: well uhhh how does that sound to you? Im asking Uncle Donald.

Uncle Donald: well you have a period of 2 hours to decide then we are taking her and the kids and Uncle Dan, as she calls him, with respect because hes always been kind to her.

Me: sounds good to me

William: what about those other guys that have been fighting for her?

Me: Christmas comes the same time every fucking year. Like you they ain't spent it with me so they obviously don't care.

William: well uh they care, now.

Me: because they have an opportunity to and they're all taking too long. What? We put the calender on pause because they didn't make their own opportunities? No they hurry the fuck up. Maybe they will make it but not fair to my children to wait on them to finish and any husband od kine will understand that.

William: not if they always lived in a bunker

Me: well that is why we already placed human trafficking victims with their families as best and as fast as we can So that they can learn to understand. Because it's not something that can be taught, its something that's felt only when together in happiness and love in a group. Its like having a whole meal and not just a bag of chips.

William: that's all you gotta say.

Uncle Donald: Sabrina...

Me: we already have a standing plan from August. It will be easy.

Uncle Donald: that's all

Me: thank you. And Merry Christmas.