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lightsandlostbells · 7 years ago

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Skam Austin episode 4 reaction

part of me is laughing at the number of people in the Facebook comments asking, “Is this on Netflix?”

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Sad couch crew

I felt Tyler and Shay were being friendly to Megan here, not snide, at least on a superficial level. Though I guess you can take their excitement about the concert as passive-aggressiveness.

Tyler mentioning the Illuminati - how very Isak. TBH I really hope Julie is making both Shay and Tyler gay, since they’re dividing up the Isak moments between the two. I’m fine if Tyler doesn’t get the big season-long arc and it goes to Shay instead, I’d love to see her get it. But it’s just going to leave such a bad taste if they’ve made Isak into a wlw with no equivalent to the gay male representation that already existed, when there are many supposedly straight female characters who could be have been made into wlw. Especially the Vilde equivalent, who you could easily give a story about discovering and accepting her sexuality, or the Chris character, who didn’t have her own season and really didn’t have any substantial character issues suggested on the level of Vilde’s home life, and would benefit from a meaty arc.

I love Shay, she’s definitely one of the highlights of the show, I’m just tired of all the fighting over whether it’s better for S3 to focus on a gay boy or a lesbian and seeing a lot of gross shit in the discussions that’s either minimizing the importance of an f/f storyline because homophobia is worse for men in Texas/lesbians don’t have it that bad/lesbians are already represented on TV because they’re accepted by straight men who find them sexy/someone doesn’t care about lesbians and will only accept Evak 2.0, or minimizing the importance of Evak/another m/m storyline because Skam and the other remakes already have gay ships so don’t get greedy/gay men are already accepted because look at all the m/m on Tumblr and AO3/people only want another Evak because they’re disgusting fetishizers. It’s fucked up how most of these talk relies on the assumption that there can be only one LGBT story on Skam at a time and not pushing back on why it goes without question that S1 and a hypothetical S2 about Grace/Daniel can both be about heterosexual relationships.

Not to be one of those obnoxious people referencing YA novels in response to real life situations, but it makes me think of Katniss at the climax of Catching Fire when her group of Tributes is fighting the Career Tributes and she fires at the force field instead. Remember who the real enemy is.

That’s a joke, don’t take that too seriously.

Anyway I’m tired.

Considering how shitty he’s been acting previously, Tyler not laughing at Marlon’s comments and just deliberately eating a potato chip is a step up for him.

Speaking of the chips, they disappear in between shots and I guess Tyler could be putting the bag on the floor between takes or something but it looks like a regular old continuity error.

Marlon is a mega dick and I dislike him but I kinda can’t believe that I agreed with him about the team’s social standings vs. their practice time. But it was Marlon who said it so it sounded like a dick move.

See, he’s been such a dick that it’s hard to feel sorry for him! But also he’s in the right to feel hurt about the concert.

I don't have much to say except he is the least convincing person to be talking about how he’s not upset and he doesn’t care. He’s so obviously pissed.

There’s just not a shred of chemistry between these two. I don’t get why they’re together, I don’t get what they like about each other, they barely seem to have much fun together. There isn’t much of a rapport.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: When this clip came out, I watched it on my phone at a graduation party, and I'm not kidding, in the few minutes while I was watching some middle-aged parents started talking about wanting to move to Texas when they retire, and they named cities and singled out Austin as a bad choice because “it’s been overtaken by liberals,” lmao. There was no way they could have realized I was watching a show set in Austin. The stars just aligned.

Clip 2 - Kelsey, no

Grace is really concerned about Kelsey sleeping with Daniel so soon, probably because what happened in her own past messed her up.

“Ever since I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl, I knew I was going to lose my virginity to a football player.” .... when I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl I only cared about seeing the commercials with the pretty horses.

“It was like he was going down on me, but in my mouth” … oh my God … someone SAVE this child.

Kelsey, you don’t even know what anyone going down on you in the “correct” place feels like, and this just makes you sound like inexperienced and Not Ready . And I’m glad Meg and Grace are suitably horrified.

Oh, they actually mentioned the issue of insurance, that’s good. But she looked a little uncomfortable with the topic of insurance, so if she has a similar financial situation to Vilde, insurance might be an issue? Or, as was hinted later via texts, she might have a super religious or conservative mom who would not take her to the doctor. She might be able to go to Planned Parenthood for birth control except I’m not sure if minors can get prescriptions for the pill without parental consent because well, Texas.

I checked out of curiosity and it looks like the only type of birth control you can get at PP without parental consent are condoms and lol, Grace already had that covered.

“You know you should use a condom, right?” “What if he doesn’t want to use a condom?” “Then you know you shouldn’t have sex with him.” YES. JESUS. Thank you Grace.

“I talked to Jo this weekend and I prayed about it last night” Oh come on, they’re going to have her mention praying about Zoya’s participation on the team and then not even address the sex-religion topic? Okay. Kelsey doesn’t even have to be abstinent or opposed to premarital sex, not all Christians are, I feel like it just makes sense for someone to be like, “Isn’t having sex before marriage against your religion?” And if Kelsey objected to the question on the grounds that they’re making assumptions about her religion, they could always come back at her with “Well, you assumed Muslims couldn’t dance.”

Kudos to Grace for talking sense about the Zoya situation and being very calm and careful about the Daniel thing.

Clip 3 - Backseat

The editing at the start of the clip made me think the mom might be talking to Megan at first but no, the mom is on her phone. Mom’s communication skills weren’t so great in this clip.

The dialogue is pretty on the nose and super specific to the theeeeeeme, with the mom putting all this implied pressure on Megan, but the passive aggressiveness about Megan’s dad is sadly accurate to how certain married-with-kids dynamics are, with the parents always at each other’s throats and dismissive of each other and not caring about how the kids react to these constant fighting.

I saw some people wondering why Megan was sitting in the backseat and honestly, that didn’t seem too weird to me. It’s not typical but I’ve ridden in the backseat even when I was the only passenger before (usually because sometimes riding in the front seat makes me sick) but I could see like, a moody teenager wanting to text her boyfriend and not wanting her mom to glance over at her phone. Although the simplest explanation is that Julie wants to hide the parents’ faces.

I didn’t even notice the giant concert posters at first, I was focused on the homeless man. I am assuming he was there to remind us of the stakes to succeed in this world if you’re much of a “dreamer” as Meg’s mom puts it, where if you don’t get a good job that can be you living on the streets, and to get a good job you need to get a degree from a good school, and to get a degree from a good school you need to perform well in high school, and if you make one mistake you are ruined, RUINED forever.

Meg trying to ask her mom for relationship advice and instead getting reminded that her parents have a shit relationship, lovely.

The difference in the tone between the coworker call and the dad call is very telling. Right off the bat, when the dad calls, the mom has a pissed-off attitude. They’re at the stage where they fight just to fight.

Also, note the guilt trip caused by the mom yelling at the dad for not remembering she was going to her friend’s (and like, who cares, I mean this might be part of a larger problem but this sounds like the pettiest shit to argue about) and saying people show they appreciate and support each other by listening and taking interest in their loves, when that’s exactly what Megan didn’t do (skipping Marlon’s show that he was so hyped for) and that’s how she feels she can make it up to him (by buying tickets to the concert he had mentioned).

And the mom says people show they care by listening when she doesn’t even listen to her own daughter and interrupts her when she’s trying to ask a question, and she’s definitely not paying attention to Megan’s life. Like, how is it that they can miss that she’s not on the dance team? Surely the team has some performances or competitions that they’d attend? Fundraisers? I can see them not attending all of Megan’s dance performances, but any of them?

Megan’s mom is a piece of work, though I’m sure the dad plays his part in the dysfunction too, I don’t want to put it all on the mother.

Clip 4 - Straw

Franz Ferdinand???

Not that this is the point but I’m intrigued by this locker setup. But I am from a place with cold cold winters so the idea of having one of these lockers in January seems terrible.

I was curious if Kendrick Lamar was actually supposed to perform in Austin on Friday, so I checked it out, and lo and behold, it was a real concert. Good job, Skam Austin.

It kinda just makes me sad that THIS is how Meg gets Marlon’s attention again, by buying (probably) expensive concert tickets.

“you two are smashing in that bathroom by the nurse’s office” at least you’re nearby if you need offbeat advice and some condoms? Oh wait, this is Texas. Never mind the last one.

This is my chance to talk about how gross I find the word “smash” in any sexual context. It just sounds uncomfortable and makes me think of potatoes.

Shoutout to Tyler’s Prince shirt, certainly a unique wardrobe choice.

Man, Kelsey is just such an easy target. Especially with the way she talks, like-like-like … blood in the water. Tyler and Shay are not here for Kelsey and Jo right off the bat and once Kelsey opens her mouth, it’s doom.

At least Kelsey had the sense to keep Zoya on the team list even if it was for self-serving reasons.

I applaud these actresses for effort, but every version of the iconic spoon scene has felt forced compared to the original. Josefina, my darling, if you’re going to be seductive with your straw, you might wanna purse your lips instead of letting it roll around in and out of your mouth.

I think it’s great that Jo and Tyler spoke Spanish to each other, and that they didn’t have subtitles, but lol at the brazenness of asking that question right in front of Shay when Shay could possibly speak Spanish herself. Or lmao, anyone who has taken Spanish I could understand what she was saying. (Like what if Shay was his girlfriend? Kinda think Jo isn’t concerned with technicalities.)

Calling him jefe, lmao, wow.

Tyler referring to Kelsey as Drew Barrymore made me laugh. Do kids these days have a firm grasp on Drew Barrymore’s legacy? What has she been in recently other than Santa Clarita Diet?

Maybe instead of references to Romeo + Juliet, we can get allusions to Ever After, The Wedding Singer, or Never Been Kissed. (Maybe not that last one.)

Also, I’m glad Meg spoke up for Kelsey so they weren’t just bashing her new friends.

Clip 5 - Internet quizzes should not be used to make major life decisions

Zoya is just looking through a book while Kelsey is talking.

Some of Kelsey’s rules:

“Always act classy”

“No cursing, fighting, messy hair or appearance” while wearing the uniform

“Positive vibes ONLY”

But yeah, here’s another example of why the dance team wasn’t the best way to adapt russ because like … of course Kelsey is being rude and ridiculous, and I can’t say I’m on her side against Zoya, but … if the team founder calls a meeting to discuss rules, it’s expected that you will be there to discuss the rules and not blow it off?

With Vilde’s bus, first of all, russ was several years away and they had time to pull it all together. A dance team is going to require some results in the near future, especially if the team is school-approved and getting them out of P.E. Someone is probably going to be checking up on the girls and making sure they’re not getting P.E. credit for sitting around and doing nothing. Second, pretty sure a bus group is not going to require as much day to day practice, training, and energy as a dance team.

I don’t know, however silly Kelsey’s motivations might be, if you sign up for someone’s dance team … you should expect to dance, dude. That goes for all the girls.

When prompted to give her opinion of Zoya, Jo cleverly deflects with the quiz, as her opinion of Zoya is clearly ❤️❤️❤️

I do love and appreciate Grace trying to persuade Kelsey to rethink the whole sleeping with Daniel thing. Not being too harsh, but being firm and not hesitating to point out all the ways it’s not a good choice.

Also being like “keep in mind he’s not your boyfriend” thank youuuu.

Kelsey sure doesn’t like that part about people judging her for having premarital sex. At least they might bring it up in the aftermath of hooking up with Daniel?

“That definitely didn’t happen.” “It did happen and she can’t eat Sweet Tarts anymore.” Jo continues to be the shining star of this show, I laughed out loud at her delivery of that line.

Whenever one of the Chrises is like “I was totally wasted” about their first time, I’m just like 😧

Kelsey saying option A on the quiz, for her “boyfriend” and her being closer once they sleep together, is the most depressing thing. Stop this train before it goes off the rails.

Oh God. Kelsey does not need to be anywhere near a penis at this juncture. The way she starts giggling and laughing when Grace suggests to think about what turns her on about Daniel … you are not ready to have sex. You are barely ready to talk about sex. None of the Vildes has seemed so young and not ready to go through with this.

Kelsey did not talk about not wanting to be involved in lesbianism, hmmmMMMM. Foreshadowing? Or maybe Julie just realized that people didn’t like the casual lesbophobia if you don’t have a lesbian character?

I haven’t been all that complimentary to the actors on this show, but I do want to give Kelsey’s actress some props for reciting that whole monologue, which is just a detailed Teen Vogue photoshoot.

It’s amusing that Kelsey integrated the Kittens uniform into her erotic fantasy but sad that Kelsey still wants to be a Kitten so much. She’s not wearing a uniform for her own group, whatever she might want it to be, she’s wearing a Kitten uniform in her ideal scenario.

You know Jo is listening to this fantasy and getting inspiration for her next Kelsey makeup experiment.Also, it makes me laugh that they’re having this discussion in a library.

Overheard in Bouldin - TMI Girl in Library: “People get turned on my different things all the time. My cousin’s thing is dirty socks. She keeps a pair of her ex-boyfriend’s in a Ziploc bag under her bed.”

May we one day meet this intriguing cousin of yours, Jo.

But don’t encourage this Daniel nonsense.

It’s too bad we didn’t get the classic doctor visit but lol, a school doctor in Texas might not be able to be so blatant with the sex ed tips, so I get it. And ultimately I would prefer if Julie tried out new scenes instead of trying to recreate old ones.

At first I thought Kelsey maybe didn’t know who Kendrick Lamar was. Which is perfectly plausible, let’s be real.

“When I have ever asked you for anything?” In the short time Meg has known you, Kelsey ... find Jo, join the dance team, get closer to Penetrator Jo, give you her birth control pills.

Clip 6 - Bowling

Kelsey’s outfit is almost exactly what she described in her fantasy! No access to a Kittens dance uniform, but otherwise very close. Follow your dreams, kids.

“Martin had a dream … Martin had a dream …” look, I like that Skam uses a variety of music and not just white indie rock, but can we like … quit syncing music by black artists talking about black cultural topics to scenes of this white dude being a big deal.

Look at that dipshit taking up two parking spaces. Fuck offffffffffffff

Kelsey looks so happy and Daniel looks like he’s already 75% checked out.

How long is this Kendrick bowling montage going to go on?

Ha, Kelsey easily had the worst bowling score of the four of them.

“Daniel just touched my ass.” The way Kelsey was thrilled about this was kind of cute and alarming.

Kelsey wanting Meg to stay with them as long as she can makes me think she really just doesn’t want to go through with the impending loss of virginity.

“Then how’d you know my name at Talent Night?” I mean ... you do go to school together, and Jo is on the football team with a high social profile. I could name a lot of my high school classmates by name even if I’ve never spoken to them.

Is Julie going to go full Chris/Eva with this version to give the shippers their day in the sun? I love original Eva/Jonas but Meg/Marlon is an unpleasant trainwreck so I can’t say I’m disappointed. I mean I can’t say I love Meg/Penetrator Jo either,, but I’m not sad about this version of Eva/Jonas not being endgame.

Penetrator Jo is still sleazy in at least a few respects (don’t be a cocktease) and we have still have to meet his girlfriend but his memory of her seems legit so maybe he does really like her. Unless, I don’t know, he stalked her IG and remembered some relevant details and embellished this whole story?

Lmao, I can get why people might think the “No Signal” scenario would be a contrivance but that exact thing has happened to me, so I buy it.

I will give Julie this credit, she’s good at setting up Fredag/Friday scenarios where we think one thing will happen, and instead something else occurs that’s completely different from the fan theories. I figured it would be as simple as Meg or Marlon missing the concert, not that we’d spot Marlon (or “Marlon”) with Abby

I don’t think it’s Marlon, though. That seems a lot like Tyler’s walk, and the person doesn’t seem to be wearing Marlon’s ugly shoes.

General Comments:

It’s kind of depressing to see people in the FB group and in the comments be like, “I haven’t seen the original show but could Grace be a lesbian? 😃” and the replies be like “No, Noorhelm is coming 😃”

Another “fun” aspect of having this show on Facebook: the MAGA edgelord assholes who leave comments on the episodes about “cucks” and “libtards.”

My opinion of Grace rose so much in this episode just by how doggedly she is trying to bring Kelsey back to earth. and telling her she can back out of this choice.

In the texts, Grace said she would buy condoms for Kelsey - good job - and later, when Kelsey asked the girls what she should wear for losing her virginity, said, “I know what Daniel will be wearing” and said that she put condoms in Kelsey’s purse - excellent job.

I feel like Grace would roll the condom on Daniel’s dick herself if it meant Kelsey had safe sex.

Abby was stressing over finals on IG so I’d bet that was a hint she needed something to help her out, hence meeting up with Marlon/Tyler for Adderall.

I was wondering what kind of music would be on Skam Austin since original Skam had all sorts of high-profile artists, and that would not be cheap, but so far, it seems like Facebook spared no expense with the soundtrack.

Grace and Shay had IG posts reacting to the Santa Fe High School Shooting. IDK how much Skam Austin would address gun violence in the episodes itself in the future, and I can think of ways it could go very badly, but sadly, as one of the biggest concerns of American teenagers today, it would be very relevant, and that’s what Skam’s supposed to be, after all.

#skam austin reactions #skamus reactions

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adampage · 8 years ago

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Burning Love

Pairing: AJ Styles x OFC Word Count: 5,513 lmao whoops Summary: AJ and friends help coworker Savannah deal with the ghosts of her past and the possibilities of her future. AJ supports her in an especially intimate way in the present. Warnings: Death mention, fire/arson mention. Alcohol mention. Mainly angst and fluff. No smut…yet, just a bit of touching here and there. Swearing. That’s it really. Oh, this is a firefighter AU. Author’s Note: Oh, boy, this one will be a long one. If I manage to pull even one more chapter out of this, like I’m planning, I’ll consider it a victory. Feedback in any way, shape, or form is welcome! Oh, I made the edit myself, the nature/carnival shots are actually pictures I took and the firefighter/AJ stuff I got off google, in case anyone was wondering. Tagging: @crowleysqueenofhell / @llowkeys / @hardcorewwetrash / @xstylesxclashx / @xxmaddhatter39xx / @justrae9903 / @ajstylesworld / @sexygamommy / @the-geekgoddes / @wwetrashqueen / @reigns420 / @wrestlingbabe / @sjwrites22 / @helluvawriter / @wrestlewriting / @kailynnyukari21 / @squirrel666

Chapter One: Hot Blood

They don’t know ‘bout who we are They don’t know 'bout you and I They ain’t know 'bout the stars Of your eyes Oh, hot blood, love is gonna get ya

“AJ, what the hell are you doing?” she asked, hands on a wooden spoon, stirring a big ol’ pot of chili on the fire station stove, watching a half naked AJ Styles slide down the fire pole, work overalls failing miserably to hide his toned abs and muscular shoulders. He had a grin on his face, and just the tips of his brown hair could be seen under the large firefighter’s helmet that overshadowed his eyes. She gaped at him. “The guys are going to be here any minute!”

“They’re not comin’, sweetheart,” he chuckled, blue eyes bright, “due to the fact that someone may or may not have called them back and told them chili night was off.”

Savannah whirled around, spoon pointed at AJ who was now mere inches from her face, his hands up in fear. “Are you telling me,” she seethed, “that I’m making this chili for only two people?”

AJ stared at the wooden spoon inches from his nose, afraid to back away and afraid to speak. “Well, I-I, I don’t know,” he stammered, “we could always save the rest for later?”

She scoffed. “Chili’s worthless as leftovers.”

“Bullcrap, I’ll eat all of it. Don’t even save it for them,” he chuckled hesitantly, edging his body away from the spoon in his face as a piece of chili dropped to the floor right where his feet had been. Noticing this, Savannah twisted back around, stirring furiously.

It wasn’t even seconds before she felt AJ behind her, fear now turned to confidence as he slid his hands around her waist, head resting on one of her shoulders, helmet gone. She took a deep breath through her nose, disappointed to only catch the scent of the chili in front of her and just the slightest hint of soap from the man surrounding her. She enjoyed the musky scent of a man. She guessed it came from being around a bunch of barbarians who smelled slightly burnt on the worst days and smelled like musk incarnate on regular days from all the training they had to do. But soap and 'clean’ was nice, too.

“You really shouldn’t be doing this,” she said, glad he was.

“Doing what?” he whispered, breath warm, tickling her ear.. His hands ghosted up under her baggy white t-shirt that read 'FIRE HAZARD’ in big letters across the back. The entire team had one. It was an inside joke, though most civilians didn’t find it funny that their local fire station crew walked around wearing mildly threatening (and ironic) shirts, and the mayor had already given the fire chief a good scolding about it. Still, didn’t mean they couldn’t wear them in the comforts of privacy.

“Running your hands over my breasts.” She elbowed him in the ribs, and AJ staggered back from her, a grin on her face as he groaned in pain.

“You didn’t,” he gasped, “have to do that.” He keeled over, hand on the kitchen island to keep his balance.

“Yes I did. I’ve told you dozens of times, don’t fucking touch me.” AJ was very much used to her foul mouth, so her use of the word 'fucking’ didn’t even register as real anger in the least. But he kept his distance for the time being. He made his way to the widescreen in the recreational area, pleased as always to be working in a town that bled money. His apartment was small and he paid way too much money for it, which is why he was glad he worked where he did. He hardly spent any time in his own apartment, deciding to spend most of his time in the fire station with Savannah and the rest of the crew.

He turned the screen on, grabbing his PlayStation remote to turn on the console and switch on Netflix.

“All right, so, what are we watching tonight? Your pick.”

“You’re not going to like it,” Savannah replied, in a sing-song voice.

He chuckled. “Oh, Jesus. What is it?”

“The Princess Bride.” Savannah braced herself for his disappointment.

“What are you - are you kiddin’ me?”

She shook her head, curly locks all flustered, a grin on her face. “Mm, mm.”

“I’ve seen that movie like a hundred times as a kid,” he huffed, flipping through the movie categories, “plus I’m pretty sure it’s not on here.”

“It is,” Savannah responded. “I checked beforehand because I knew you’d lie to me.”

“You callin’ me a liar?” he shouted at her from the comfort of the couch, half smile cocked, head tilted back awaiting her response, legs spread apart, one foot on the coffee table in front of him.

“I’m not doing this again,” she stated, knowing full well the answer she was meant to give him. For a man nearly in his forties, he watched way too much television meant for children. Drake and Josh happened to be one of his favorites.

He laughed, knowing she understood the reference. “Fine, but I don’t want to watch the Princess Bride again.”

“You said it was my pick. You never said you could veto.”

“The hell I didn’t!”

“But you actually didn’t.”

He sighed. “Well, fine. I’ll agree to watching the Princess Bride for the hundredth time.”

Savannah stopped stirring. “There’s a 'but’ in there somewhere, so spit it out,” she commanded.

“But,” he emphasized, “you have to sleep with me.”

God, he was forward. It was both annoying and a turn on.

The funny thing was, AJ wasn’t like this with just anyone. Having known him going on five years, she’d seen her fair share of women he was on the verge of conquering. The fire station was a great place to show a woman if you wanted what was between her legs. Savannah knew, because she’d done the same, once with a guy from the park, and the other time with this really sexy corporate businesswoman she met in Atlanta. Both of them had been equally turned on by the fact that she was a firefighter, so she had a good idea of what AJ probably did with any one girl.

It probably started like this:

[A night when the moon is full, and the bar is crowded with way too many people. Clouds pass by slowly, weighted with water ready to burst. A woman, not exactly sober but enough to pass everyday judgement and make decisions, is asked by a very sexy AJ Styles if she’d like him to walk her home.]

Woman: I don’t know, it looks like it’s going to rain, and I live pretty far.

[Cue a drop of water on her nose, signaling the evident downpour.]

[AJ gives her a sweet smile.]

AJ: Tell you what - how about I walk you to fire station where I work. It’s close, safe. There’s people around, but it’s quiet, and we can hang out and talk for awhile until the storm dies down.

Woman: Storm? I wouldn’t say it’s a storm just yet.

[Cue the clouds bursting above them, a flash of lightning crossing the sky.]

Woman: [gesturing ahead of her, her top already soaking wet] Lead the way.

[AJ takes her hand, a cocky smile taking the place of the sweet one.]

Woman: So you’re a firefighter?

[Sirens blast in the distance, signaling to AJ that no one’s going to be at the station for at least an hour, which is just enough time.]

AJ: Oh, yeah. I’ve had my fair share of life or death situations.

Woman: I’m sure. Is it often? I imagine it gets tiring.

AJ: [self-deprecating] Yeah, but it’s the only thing I know how to do. It just feels like it’s the reason I’m here, ya know?

[And on and on until they reach the fire station to find no one home, as expected. Still, AJ is nothing short of a gentleman, showing her around and listening to her in awe of what she was seeing. It really was all very interesting to her, and no doubt it made him look all the more attractive in her eyes.]

[After endless talk and a beer or two more than she intended, provided for her by the fire station fridge, she’s feeling up on AJ, and AJ is loving every minute.]

[Cue sex.]

So yeah, Savannah knew what it was like. And because of that, it was never going to work on her.

He tried the straightforward approach instead.

And it wasn’t like he was always like this. On the contrary, when they first met, he didn’t so much as glance in her direction. They were friends, sure, but not the flirty “hey if we had sex I’d totally be into it” kind.

No, that was very recent. Granted, she had always found him attractive. But something happened to change the way *he* looked at *her*, and she was slowly figuring out what precise moment that had been.

“I’ll do you one better,” she proposed, “if you watch the Princess Bride with me I’ll play a game on that wretched console of yours.”

He feigned insult. “Wretched? My Nintendo 64 is the greatest console of all time.”

“It takes eighty years to start up and another hundred more to load the game.”

“It’s got character,” he defended. “The more you wait, the more grateful you’ll be when you play.” He tapped on his head. “It’s genius, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you.”

He winced, hand on his chest. “You’re breakin’ my heart, Missy.”

“Good. Maybe if I break it you’ll leave me alone.”

“Now that’s just plain mean,” he giggled as he pressed play, a hand ruffling his hair.

Savannah turned off the stove and walked over to the couch, bowls of chili in tow. “Careful, it’s hot.”

“Sounds like someone I know.”

“Christ, AJ.”

“What?” he grinned.

She shook her head. “Let’s just watch the movie, please.” She sat down next to him, legs folded to the side, grazing his leg, as she dug into her food.

“God, he’s so dreamy.”

“Here we go.”

It was Savannah’s turn to laugh. “Does my crush on the Man in Black make you jealous?” she teased.

“No,” AJ responded, arms crossed, legs spread apart, clearly jealous.

Not wanting to push it any further, Savannah concentrated once again on the movie. Or at least, she tried.

It was nerve wracking, not understanding why he was suddenly so unafraid to express feelings she didn’t think he had. Before, he’d been more like a father to her. He watched out for her, he cared for her. He tried to teach her things she didn’t know, and he listened to her and supported her with her own ideas. Better than most real fathers, in fact.

Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something he was hiding, for all his openness. That secret was the key.

Savannah tried to remember the last time they’d been alone.

It had been the night of the annual town carnival. It’d been so crowded she could have sworn the entire town was there. The whole crew of the fire station had been there, partly for security and partly because they were raising money for the victims of fires and their families. They had decided on a kissing booth, because who doesn’t want to spend a couple dollars to kiss the sexiest civil servants in all of Georgia?

She was quite proud of that idea, and everyone had supported her with it, all the guys, including AJ. Granted, most of them probably had their own reasons for it, but hey, if she could get them to help her with it she didn’t care. AJ had ruffled her hair, as he tended to do. “Great idea, sweetheart. I’m sure it’ll be the most popular stand at the carnival, and it’ll be for a good cause.”

So after an entire day of kissing some of the strangest and gorgeous and not so gorgeous and kindest people they’d ever seen, Savannah was pretty exhausted.

She found herself a shady tree across the park meadow, lay down a blanket and ate her dinner alone, waiting anxiously for the fireworks that were going to go off that night. She silently thanked God it wasn’t the Fourth of July, and she had a great spot all to herself. She reached into her basket and pulled out a beer, the liquid inside fizzing loudly as she snapped it open, took a sip, her facing scrunching up as she did. Savannah hated beer, but it was all they had at the drink stands of the alcohol variety. Taking another sip, she could feel it taking effect quickly. She was a bit of a lightweight, all jokes aside.

As she sat there in the moonlight, the neon colored lights of the carnival flashing behind, she heard the crack of a twig to one side of her, and the mumbled “goshdarnit” of the man who’d cracked it.

Continuing to stare at the vast meadow in front of her, she inquired, seemingly to no one, “You’re a clutz, you know that?”

She could feel the presence sit down a few inches from her left knee, the blanket stretching further underneath due to the unexpected weight. “I just wanted to scare ya. Didn’t exactly work.”

She chuckled. “You’re going to have to try harder than that if you want to scare me.” Deadpan, “Like, for example, burn down my house.”

Savannah had no idea why she was thinking about it, but she just sort of blurted it out.

“What do you mean, Missy?” He had asked, calm as ever on the outside, spiders crawling through his body in worry on the inside.

She shook her head, a slight smile appearing on her lips. “Nothing. I’m just tired. This beer might be the culprit, too.”

AJ didn’t push the subject, but something told him that what she said wasn’t a joke. No one really knew anything about her life before she became a firefighter. She tended to keep herself at a distance in that respect, which all the guys understood and never questioned. Still, it didn’t mean AJ hadn’t been genuinely concerned, and when AJ was concerned, he was going to find out why the people he loved were keeping things to themselves. Savannah could try to play it off all she wanted; he’d leave her alone about it, but he was going to find out sooner or later.

“Seeing you in the calendar was a surprise,” AJ declared, determined to make her open up about at least one thing while they sat there, waiting for the fireworks.

“Oh boy, not this again.” She gave him a sideways glance. With a mouth full of baby carrot, “you’re like the fifth person to ask me about that today.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me, Missy,” AJ said. “You do work with a group of barbarians, myself included.”

She laughed, remembering how each of them had reacted.

“Babe, what the hell?” Sami had exclaimed, stammering, “b-but I thought you weren’t into that stuff.”

“It’s for charity,” she had responded. “And I didn’t want to be left out if the rest of you were in the calendar.”

“Aye, well, I think you look sexy,” Finn had said, not taking his eyes off the copy of Savannah on the calendar, as all the guys - Luke, Karl, Joe, AJ amongst them - had crowded around it. AJ smacked him upside the head, Joe punching Finn on the arm. Seeing the look on Sami’s face, he backtracked by saying “but you should have told us.”

Savannah eyed herself on the glossy page. It was a sight to behold, no question. She was wearing work overalls (of course), but no undershirt, like the guys often did. The suspenders were located effectively and precisely, hiding her nipples and nothing else, the roundness and fullness of her breasts wonderfully visible. Her hair nearly reached below her waist (she didn’t miss that length in the slightest), thrown over one shoulder, arms akimbo, a mesmerizing smile on her face. “And risk two extra months of pestering about it? No, thank you.”

Savannah turned to AJ, holding out a bag of grapes. When he (seductively) popped one into his mouth, she said, “I know that none of y'all see me that way, so I didn’t want to make a deal of it. I was just going to do it and move on, but I doubt y'all will let me do that now.”

He shrugged, a snicker escaping his lips. “Nah, probably not. You’ll never live it down.”

She shook her head at the thought. “You’re probably right. Shouldn’t have done it.”

“What? No,” he backpedaled, “that’s not what I’m saying. It was amazing. We sold more calendars this year than the past three years combined. And I was in all three.”

Savannah raised an eyebrow at him. “Who gave you that statistic?”

“Sami.”

“Right.”

“I’m serious! Not to mention, we’ve raised more money at this carnival than we did last year’s. Joe’s already counted the money. Last year we raised close to eight hundred, but, you remember, we didn’t have a kissing booth, or anything for that matter. We just kind of stood there begging for money.”

“I remember. So how much did the treasurer say we made?”

“Guess,” he smiled, amused and quite proud.

“Uh, a thousand?”

“Higher.”

“Fifteen hundred?”

“Higher.”

“Are you fucking serious?” she gasped.

“Yeah. We raised three thousand dollars. All thanks to you, Missy,” AJ said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her amicably, tenderly.

God, he was warm. Savannah hadn’t realized how cold she’d been until she felt his warmth enveloping her. It was like the sun shining in the middle of the night, and she was basking in it.

The first fireworks had started to burst. They were blue, yellow, sparks of green. Her favorites were the ones that crackled like leaves under children’s feet in autumn. She could smell that gun powder smell, knowing that they couldn’t be shot off so far from where they sat. She knew Joe, Karl, Luke, Sami, and Finn were probably all watching as well, but alert, as she and AJ were. While they enjoyed fireworks, they were very much aware that they had to be on the lookout for any difficulties. They had talked to the fireworks guys early that morning, making sure all the proper precautions and procedures were in place.

She could feel AJ tense up next to her, though his eyes and face were lit up and happy, mouth slightly open as he reveled in the light show, dazzled. Realizing Savannah was staring at him, he closed his mouth, eyes questioning, coyly.

She shook her head just the tiniest bit, a smile on her face, and leaned in closer, head resting on his shoulder, sliding an arm under the crook of his own. AJ felt a soft hand squeeze his bicep, but he let it linger. She sniffled, the overwhelming sense of joy and peace in this moment causing tears to form in her eyes.

“Hey, hey…” he whispered gently, noticing this. He lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “Missy, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she laughed through the tears, aiming to wipe them away but stopping when she acknowledged his own fingers were doing it for her, “I’m just really happy right now. It’s been a good day.”

If there was a moment that changed everything, it must have been that night at the carnival, Savannah was sure of it. She sighed deeply, and focused her gaze back on the screen in front of her.

”You mocked me once - never do it again! I died that day!” The sound of hooves hitting the ground caused the Man in Black to whirl around, back now turned to Princess Buttercup. And you can die, too, for all I care!* A shove to the Man in Black, and as he rolled down the hill to his death he shouted, “As…you….wishhhhh!” Those words stirred the princess as she recognized the Man in Black for who he truly was. She shouted -

“Oh, my sweet Westley, what have I done?!” AJ and Savannah yelled at the television along with Buttercup, and they burst into a fit of giggles.

Savannah leaned over and gave him a slap on the arm. “And you said you didn’t want to watch this movie.”

“Goes to show you why I don’t. I know it like the back of my hand,” AJ joked, hand raised in front of her face as he twisted it around. She plainly caught it and closed her eyes, trying to conjure it from memory.

“It’s got a freckle somewhere,” she mused, eyes moving underneath her eyelids.

“Most people have at least one freckle on their hand,” he retorted, “bet you can’t guess where it is.”

“The stem of your pinkie.”

“Damn lucky guess.”

She howled in laughter. “AJ, believe it or not, I am extremely observant.”

He cracked a smile, his eyes the color of an aquamarine gemstone never once leaving her own dark ones. You could practically feel the electricity crackling from his body; what he was going to say next would definitely lead to something she was unsure of being able to resist. “Well, so am I. And I need to tell you something.”

She waited, a sense of excitement and agonizing suspense building in the pit of her stomach.

“That night at the carnival-” he began.

Her breath hitched. So something had changed that night. His aged hands reached for her tender ones, holding them steady, connecting them together. His thumbs caressed her fingers, and he couldn’t meet her gaze, not because he was ashamed in any way, but because he was trying to string the right words along coherently.

“-you mentioned something that came out somewhat as a joke, but it stuck with me.”

Puzzled, she looked at him expectantly. He inched his body closer on the couch, wondering how to explain.

“You said that in order to scare you, I’d have to burn down your house.”

Her stomach dropped. This was the last thing Savannah thought he’d mention. A very small part of her was elated to hear that he remembered something so seemingly unimportant, but the greater part of her was getting ready to dodge any questions about it that he might throw at her. This wasn’t exactly something she wanted to think about.

“I - ” AJ hesitated, unsure of himself, “I wasn’t sure what you meant by that, but I had a hunch so I looked up your name in regards to…arson, accidental fires…”

Savannah shut her eyes tight. Fuck, she thought. Please, AJ, don’t say it out loud. She braced herself, her nails digging into the palms of AJ’s hands.

It didn’t seem that her silent protest was understood, AJ continuing to speak. “I found an article about a fire in Candler. Everyone made it out okay, except for the next door neighbor’s daughter.”

And there it was, she thought. The one last piece of her soul that Savannah had managed to keep to herself her entire career as a firefighter. She could feel a creaking in her bones due to the weight of AJ’s discovery, as if any moment they might crack and she would be reduced to dust on the couch in front of him, and in his hands would be the remains of her own.

Her mouth was dry, and her voice could not pass her lips. He waited, patiently, and his demeanor began to annoy her so much that frustration leaked through her eyes in the form of tears.

His eyes grew worrisome, brows furrowed, AJ’s fingers reaching for her tears. His voice came out low, not much more than a whisper. “Shhh, shhh….it’s okay, Missy, everything’s all right.” His hand reached behind her to cup her head, bringing her face to his chest. The warmth of his body was enough to make her melt as she molded softly to his chest, arms wrapping around his waist to place her hands at his back, where she could feel the rumbling of his breathing. She let her tears fall silently, the steady “shhh” from AJ comforting her, one of his hands running fingers through her hair, the sensation tingling with every touch.

“She was my best friend,” she wanted to say, “she was my…” but the words wouldn’t leave her throat. Instead, a whine escaped Savannah’s mouth, and she instantly felt like a child for it. But AJ hadn’t seemed to mind or notice, he just kept smoothing her hair and whispering soothing nothings in her ear as the television droned on quietly.

Finally, when Savannah’s heart was poured out wholly, she lifted her head and sighed deeply, trying to return fresh oxygen to her lungs in order to calm herself. She looked up at his eyes the color of a bright blue sky, the concerned lines of his brows shading them slightly.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” He said to her after a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Her hands reached for the remote control, unsteadily, to click off the television. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I figured,” hesitating, struggling to find the words, “I figured that if I told you why I became a firefighter that you would look at me like some simple, generic person who let their life be defined by the most tragic moment in their life.”

“I don’t understand,” he replied, confusion shown all over his face. “I don’t see anything wrong with that. Most of the guys on the crew have stories like yours. It’s not uncommon to want to become something or someone that might save people’s lives because of the loss of a loved one.”

“My best friend,” she whispered.

“Do you think that she would have wanted you to do something you didn’t really want to do?”

“Probably not. But I do love being a firefighter.”

“But it’s not what you wanted. You became one out of guilt,” AJ said.

“I guess you’re right.”

AJ lifted her chin up so he could see her better. “What did you wanna be when you grew up? Before it happened?”

She shook her head, the color rising in her cheeks. He chuckled. “What? Was it like a princess or something?”

AJ was glad to see her smile again, rewarded by a punch to his arm, and he winced. Sometimes he forgot how strong she could be. “Okay, okay…not a princess then. So what was it?”

Savannah hid her face behind her hands, shaking her head violently. Whatever it was, she was very embarrassed about it, and she wasn’t letting up.

“Come on now, Missy, you know you can tell me.”

She made a noise that was midway between a scoff and a very unappealing snort. “No,” Savannah said, “no I can’t.”

“Come on, don’t be that way with me!” His hands were level with his sides, fingers ready to tickle. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what he was going to do if she didn’t fess up.

“Alright alright alright,” she yelled, hands raised in self defense, “I’ll tell you but whatever you do, don’t tickle me!” She thought for a minute, amended her statement. “And don’t you dare fucking laugh at me.”

AJ looked at her with puppy dog eyes, crossing his heart with one rough hand. “I won’t, Missy, I promise.”

She gave him a doubtful look. Savannah pointed a finger at him. “If you laugh, I’ll give you a proper kick in the balls. Plain and simple.”

“Well, gosh darn, Missy. Can’t be that bad. Just tell me.”

Savannah took a deep breath. She really appreciated this change of subject. Anything was better than having to talk about Raquel. Her heart ached at the thought. But how AJ managed to crawl through her shell of protection, reaching every vulnerable and intimate part of her that she had meant to keep as secrets to the grave, she could never understand. With the most confident voice she could muster, she told him.

“I wanted to be a pole dancer.”

He sat silent for a second. Then, crossing his beautiful arms, “well,” he said matter-of-factly, “it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Though I’ll be damned if my own daughter would ever utter those words beneath my roof.”

Savannah mirrored him, arms crossing, though with an eyebrow arched. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I’m just saying, if I heard my daughter say that, I don’t know what I’d do. Probably question my abilities as a father.”

Savannah rolled her eyes. “Sure thing, tough guy.”

“But hey.”

“Hm?” she answered, clearly upset at his reaction.

“You could still do it.”

Her mouth dropped. Was he honestly supporting this? AJ Styles, who took care of her like she really was his own daughter?

Well, she thought, lately he hasn’t exactly been treating me like a daughter. She was reminded of earlier in the evening, as she cooked dinner, his fingers making their way below the hem of her shirt, grazing lightly up her sides till they reached her breasts, giving them both a squeeze, at which point she decided to elbow him in the ribs in order to mask the fact that she was enjoying it and did not want him to stop in the least. “Really? You think I could?”

He shrugged. “Of course. It’s what you wanted to be, isn’t it?”

She shrugged shyly back. “I mean, yeah. It was.”

“Why?”

“Why did I want to be a pole dancer, you mean?”

“Yeah. You were barely a teen. How in the heck did you come up with a future like that?”

Savannah crossed her legs on the couch, pulling them close.

“I wanted to be a dancer. I did it all: ballet when I was small, gymnastics. I danced in school.” She hesitated, the wound still ached. “But by the time Raquel and I were in high school, we were both determined to do something that people would consider risqué. We were becoming women, or so we thought. We wanted to decide our futures and decide them together, do something fun that we would enjoy forever.” Savannah laughed.

AJ’s mouth formed into a smile, imagining a young Savannah and Raquel ready to take the world by storm. It felt bittersweet, knowing one of them was gone, and he knew Savannah felt the same way, a thousand fold.

“So we decided on pole dancing. We watched a couple of videos online, thought it looked fun. We’d practice a bit at home, in each other’s rooms, brainstorming dance sequences. All without a pole, of course. We dreamed of owning an apartment somewhere, maybe New York, maybe Los Angeles, Miami, Paris, London, anywhere but here, in this small town full of people that wouldn’t understand and write us off as whores or something.”

In that apartment, we’d create our own little dance studio, poles everywhere. We thought even of making it a business, teaching other women how to pole dance - what they would do with the skill would be their prerogative, not ours.“

As she continued her story, AJ’s mind flew a mile a minute. If this was something she wanted to do, he would support her. His blue eyes wandered to the pole behind them, the one they took from the living quarters, in case the alarm sounded and they had to get ready and leave, quickly. He grinned to himself. They already had something very important to her success right here.

"But all of that of course, went out the window,” Savannah’s voice flowed into his mind, grounding him once again into their reality, “when…” it faltered, her eyes dropping to look at her hands, which she bent in her lap, “when she died.”

Savannah could hardly breathe. “Raquel was the funniest, most loyal, most amazing person you’d ever meet. She was a bit of a bitch, too, but,” she paused, “who isn’t?”

AJ reached a hand to her face once more, reveling in the smooth feeling of her skin beneath his fingers. He asked her a question, a question he was sure he already knew the answer to, but he had to ask. He wanted to know every part of her, understand every thought.

“Did you love her?”

Her eyes flickered up, once again on the verge of tears. But this time, one simple word was able to push through her body, whereas before she couldn’t seem to bring herself to speak at all.

“Yes.”

Forget losing a best friend, AJ thought. Savannah lost her first love that night. Her girlfriend. He pulled her in close, and asked no more questions. The rest he knew from the article.

“Eighteen year old Zachary Blake convicted of arson, murder. Receives mere ten year sentence.”

The bastard was already loose. And if AJ remembered correctly, he was released about a fortnight ago. The night of the carnival.

The world be damned if AJ was going to let this go.

Last Note: It wasn’t too much, was it? Please tell me if this is worth a second chapter. And, if you find any fire-worthy songs that you like that could fit this, let me know?? Oh, the lyrics at the beginning are from “Hot Blood” by Kaleo. Totes recommend. - Emiliana

#aj styles #wwe #wwe fanfiction #aj styles fanfiction #aj styles fluff #aj styles fic #aj styles smut #mine #my edit #my fics #countrybumpkin*

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 8 years ago

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5/7/17, 1:53am - and now taking time from my busy day to bring you the Tyler Blog

wow, it’s been a hot minute.

Whelp there’s a lot to write about and not a lot of memory in my life, so I’m just gonna give it a whirl and see how it goes.

First off, today I came one step closer to finally finding out where Sonic accurately ranks on my fast food tier list. I’ve eaten at sonic like maybe three times in my life tops, and two of them were today and last week. Last week got a burger and fries, today I got a chicken sandwich and onion rings. Now, I must say that to accurately rank Sonic I have yet to try their hot dogs, maybe even a fourth entree or something, but I can say with full confidence that Sonic is D tier fast food, C tier at best. Holy shit, man. Everything tastes like it’s been on the grill a little too long, gets that kinda burnt taste onto it. Which is charming in Cookout because it’s coupled with actually flavorful food and like higher quality burger patties and fluffy buns, but here it just kinda falls flat. Something about the bun, man. I love how they actually put some effort into putting it onto the grill, but the potato-bread consistency is gross and mushy and makes everything in the sandwich feel like mush to me. I think the real issue is the condiments might be too big relative to the meat? Or maybe it’s just bad. Eating this chicken sandwich today all I could think was “this is the wendy’s chicken sandwich if it were hungover as fuck.” Fries were alright, they’re like the dream fries you hope for during lunch in high school. The onion rings are Actually delicious, super sweet and crispy, pair well with the honey mustard, but almost too sweet to eat a whole bag of. I’m sure the tots are solid and I just feel spoiled by costco hot dogs how is shit so expensive everywhere else.

Alright I’m done with that shit lmao. So like...shit where do I even start? the past? The present? I was talking to jimmy about conceptualizing the dimensions and that neat little youtube video, and said something stupid like the past and future is all a constant, nothing matters. We were talking about the big bang and recursive progression into the destruction of the world until it collapsed and started over again. Who knows, man. Maybe nothingness is cool.

Anyway let’s do a little personal assessment. I was doing excellent on my diet until like the last time I posted, then starting to live in gboro and wanting to try out places to eat there transitioned into going to visit the fam in VA to see my little brother’s performance and Darlin fed me way too much while I was there so I’m like off the wagon sort of lol. I was up to like 146 the other day, 143 when I checked like yesterday lemme run and weigh myself rq. Ate a bunch of pizza at work yesterday and fast food today, but I’m only at 145.0 in my work clothes. So that means I’m at like 143 with food weight, which means if I really really want to push it I could get back into a fast and trim off a a pound or two before lake week in 11 days. Sounds like a whole lotta effort and I’m not really feeling that much these days though. Looking super great, that’s what’s really important lol. Idk I kinda like fasting or at least dieting a little bit before I go somewhere I know I’m gonna be taking pics like mom’s or this because I always feel like I stuff myself and then I’ll take pictures like the one of me at thanksgiving that I’m embarassed by because of my tummy.

Whatever whatever, I’m looking great though, the point is I’m not really concerned as much anymore. Possibly a reflection of the change of scenery, maybe because I hit my goal and am satisfied, maybe it’s because I’m hopping on tinder again and a solid handful of girls are blowing me up, who knows. But that’s that.

Other part of the status update, yesterday... well. day before yesterday? Yeah I guess. Cinco de mayo was my randomly self declared last pack of cigarettes. See what had happened was I realized I wasn’t all that stressed out anymore about the moving thing now that things have been going so well, and my boss calls me in to stay late after work and have a meeting with him. He says I fucked up and didn’t respond to my patient quickly enough and was smelling like smoke and said that I could get fired and yadda yadda yadda irresponsible and shit. So i’m like yeah fine sure that makes sense, I don’t want people to die while I’m out taking a smoke break. I’m past the days of calling semi-reasonable-but-hypocritical shit bullshit to my boss’s face so I ate that shit up with a smile and decided that if I couldn’t smoke at my new job [still same old job, still just new location] then fuckit it’s not worth my time. I don’t need to be craving for it since i can’t do it. So I went to the store immediately afterward and meant to buy what I decided was going to be my last pack of cigarettes. The clerk wasn’t there for like 5 minutes me and some guy were laughing about him being asleep on the toilet or some shit, so I decided to just say fuckit and I swiped the pack instead of just deciding I didn’t need it lmao. Wrote a nice little greentext story to one of my group chats about how cigarettes make you a bad person but I’m not gonna copy it over too lazy. Anyway, I was straight chugging cigs with people that day. Had to balance my high out lmao I was smoking all day with spencer and davis, played some ssx tricky [sucked balls. still hate ps2], did really meh at the tournament but had fun playing dubz with spencer. Kinda sad I didn’t hard carry him so that he wouldn’t hate dubz anymore but whatever. Had a nice little crew come over after and got to hang out with christian and michael for the first time in a long time. Might not see christian again now that he’s graduated. that shit’s so weird. Railed him in dubz with dylan for a long time too hahaha fuck that might be the last time I do that, too. Team This House went undefeated for like 30 games that night, we kicked some ass. Even if it’s not true I believe it now hahaha.

But yeah, so that’s the biggest status update of all. I was talking to Darlin and Mom about my living situation with Ashleigh and how great it was and they were asking me about my plans to move out. I was like damn, I hadn’t even thought about it. So I told them I wanted to try to be out by the end of the month and we’re gonna try to roll with that. Gonna see if they find a roommate and when they do I’m gonna get a storage unit, get my shit out of there and stop paying rent. Which is neat, I can throw that money to Ashleigh or my car or something. Pretty pumped to be a little more liquid tbh.

I crashed in Ash’s bed this morning because she was laying on the couch when I got in, and I just laid there thinking “yknow it’s kind of strange that I’ve always felt more at home in someone else’s bed than my own.” I wonder if it’s completely true, even. My old high school bed was my mom’s, and even then I was always trying to have tons of people over to cuddle up with. Maybe That’s it, is when I’m alone in my own bed there’s no chance someone will get in with me on their own. I Was kinda hoping that ashleigh would want to jump into her bed with me too and we could just lay around together hahaha. Platonically, of course. I swear. I swear I swear. Not to you, random reader, but to myself. hahaha it’s super neat having a girl that’s just a friend, I feel like I haven’t had one of those in an eternity. Well I mean Irene I guess, but we’ve also never hung out alone. and there are plenty of friend’s gfs but that definitely doesn’t count.

Anyway so I’ll just transition out of that bit into describing life in greensboro I guess. I’ve only spent like two weeks here, Aaron called it a little staycation lol. The commute’s only like 24 mins, which is way better than the hour to or from raleigh. Ashleigh has a nice little one bedroom living room bathroom, and there’s a common area for the apartment with a kitchen and laundry. It’s honestly a little strange turning behind myself to lock the doors up, but I can jive with it. I mean Gboro is admittedly full of some jank. Not that any city isn’t. A lot of my free time has been either laying around watching tv [should switch to tv and melee practice now that I’ve brought a setup over lol], or hanging out at will’s/chris’s/Geeksboro to play melee, or walking somewhere to get food, or eventually once Ash and Aaron get off work I’ll join them at bars for drinks. Those cuteys are so sweet, first of all, it seems like they really care about each other and I fucking love it. Also they constantly remind me of myself, which is weird, but I also love it. Like Aaron even knew how to play Gauntlet [which we played at boxcar for a while the other day], and that’s like one of the rarer Tyler traits. Also also I was out of sorts for a bit because they keep wanting to buy me drinks and shit all the time. At first I was like are they coddling me? are they trying to baby me? Am I a charity case? Am I just going to be an eternal bum? And I realized maybe. But then I realized more importantly they’re just doing what I would do and I fucking love it lmao.

Like what really drove it home was the other night I went out on this netflix-n-chill date with this girl [more on that later], dropped her off, went out to meet Aaron. Ashleigh’s at home sick, so we’re drinking with our friends cory and... fk... matt? Gonna have to catch his name again I’m so fucking dumb. Anyway, Aaron buys us shots, i go out to smoke a cigarette, we were talking about drugs for a sec, he pops in and out and all of a sudden just tells me to hit up the bathroom and hands me ~a gram of coke hahahaha. For a second I was thinking “who the fuck Does that? I love this man.” and then I thought back to the last time Camille visited for New Years and the day me and her did molly I ended up giving a couple points to her brother for nothing and they were just flabbergasted at me. Gave them some excuse like “man, I don’t deal drugs” and just handed it to him hahaha. So I realized “oh yeah. *I* do that.” So then I realized that since they were both me they were perfect for each other and I’m really happy for them and now I kinda hope that Aaron turns into my slightly older brother figure that I get to bro out with all the time hahahaha.

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