#i say almost bc there are some that i look at and they just give me the ick
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something like love
part - 6
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 4.7k
c/w - language, tiny bit of angst (this is only the beginning i fear.)
a/n - is it cringe of me to ask for live reactions? bc i want live reactions sb. anyway, sorry ik i said this chap would be long and juicy but i decided to hold off on the juicy part, i needed a lil more plot development! also ty to everyone who sends me asks, even if itâs just things like âwhenâs the next partđŤâ i love it sm lol. hope yall like this one!!
The next two days areâat least compared to the first twoâalmost peaceful. The weather is nice, just warm enough and not too humid, which Azziâs hair appreciates. She got goddess braids done just before the trip and even in protective styles, her hair gets frizzy at the very notion of moisture.
The peacefulness largely comes from the fact that Paige is avoiding her parents like the plague, instead spending all her time with Azzi and her siblings. The third day they spend almost entirely at the local park, shooting around at the court there under the hot sun. Lauren even reluctantly joins for a few games, and she may be adamant about not wanting to play basketball but the talent for it must be genetic because sheâs a natural. And if Paige and Azzi spend the whole âcompetitionâ brushing hands and flirting, nobody says anything. (Though Ryan does wrinkle his nose at them a few times.)
The fourth day starts out warm, and so Paige and Azzi sneak the kids out bright and early (Azzi, of course, ends up with the job of waking all three siblings upânot one of them is a morning person whatsoever) and go to an ice cream shop, where they eat their cold, sweet breakfasts on the curb while they chat. Both Ryan and Lauren may have argued that they were too old to be excited about ice cream for breakfast anymore, but they both end up with matching, chocolate-covered grins when theyâre done.
The weather turns for the worst before noon, though, and the kids want to go home but Paige insists they go to the arcade instead. When she says sheâll pay for as many games as they want, theyâre easily swayed. Of course, Paige and Azzi make a competition out of the day, deciding to keep a tally of all their points so that whoever has the most wins by the end has to buy the whole group prizes.
Azzi gives it a fighting go but Paige plays way more video games than she does so she very nearly beats herâbut then, when theyâre almost out of game tickets, Azzi pouts at her about the whole situation, and suspiciously, she ends up making an incredible recovery, easily beating Paige at almost every game after that.
Lauren picks a koala plushie, Ryan picks some new shoes, and Azzi gets this shiny plastic tiara.
âYou didnât have to get the cheapest prize,â Paige says as Azzi adjusts the tiara on her head. âI got money.â
âI know,â Azzi replies, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. âBut I had to. As the princess.â
Paige gives her that stupid fucking look againâthe one Azzi still canât figure out even though she knows Paige like the back of her hand, which is just driving her crazyâand that look shows up so often Azzi should really just start referring to it as The Look at this point.
But then Paige smiles, previous odd expression gone, and the way she does that,âslips out of it like she doesnât even realize it was there in the first placeâdrives Azzi even more crazy than The Look itself.
Now, it is the fifth day. And Azzi reminisces on these past two blissful days to try and distract herself from the fact that Paige and her parents are having a heated argument right in front of her and her scrambled eggs.
âNo, Paige,â Amy is saying. âAbsolutely not.â
âYou canât do that!â Paige replies, throwing her hands into the air. âIâm an adult, I make my own money, I can doââ
âItâs stupid.â
âItâll be fun!â
âIt wonât, because itâs not happening.â Amy is unpacking a load of groceries, and Dean is lingering in the corner of the kitchen being absolutely useless. That seems to be his brand.
âYes it will, Mom,â Paige replies, voice lower now but still obviously frustrated. âI wasnât asking for your permission. I was just seeing if you wanted to come with us. I was tryna be nice!â
âWell it wonât be nice when you crash and we all drown, Paige.â
âJesus, Mom! I ainât gonna go around crashing!â
Azzi feels very uncomfortable, wishing she were literally anywhere else, but at the same time this is sort of amusing and she has to hide a smile in a bite of eggs.
This argument is, out of all things, about a boat. Paige wants to rent one and have a lake day, and though she didnât want to, Azzi convinced her to invite her parentsâshe figured theyâd decline but that theyâd be offended if they werenât at least invited.
She wasnât really expecting a lecture to come out of it, though. But by the tired look on Paigeâs face, she knew exactly what was coming their way.
âYou donât even have a boating license,â Amy continues, placing a new jug of milk and some apples in the fridge. âThis is illegal. If you wonât listen to your mother, at least listen to the law.â
That very nearly gets a giggle out of Azzi. She chokes it down.
âThis is a private lake, Iâon need my license.â
âWell that doesnât sound shady at all.â
âItâs not, itâs super legit!â Paige makes for her phone in her back pocket. âIt has its own website and everything, I looked way into it.â
Amy stares her daughter down for a few seconds, hands on her hips, before she lets out a resigned sigh. âLike you said, Paige, I canât tell you what to do. Youâre an adult, do what you want. But you will not be taking your siblings on that death trap.â
âWhaâŚâ Paige flounders, eyebrows furrowed, and her voice raises again, âthat was the whole point of this entire thing!â
âWell, thatâs too bad. Itâs dangerous.â
âIâll make them wear life jackets!â
âTheyâre teenagers,â Dean points out rather unhelpfully, and itâs the first time heâs spoken around her in days but Azzi is already sick of him again. âNeither of them are gonna wear life jackets.â
âIâll force them, I swear.â
âPaige Madison,â Amy snaps, and Paige may be an independent adult now but she still straightens her back subconsciously at her motherâs warning tone, âno means no. They are my kids.â
âTheyâre my siblings!â Paige repliesârather boldly, Azzi thinks, because if Azzi were in her place she wouldâve given up by now.
But Paige, as most daughters do, knows exactly how far to push her mother to get what she wantsâapparent in the way Amy massages her temples with her fingers before saying, âYou know what, Paige? Fine.â
Dean is jumping in immediately. âWhat? No, she canât take my kids out on a boat.â
âSheâs right, Dean,â Amy says, though she looks a little pained to be siding with her daughter for once. âTheyâre her siblings. She wants to do something fun for them.â
âItâs dangerous!â Dean motions sporadically at where Paige and Azzi are sitting at the island. Azziâs eggs are gone now and so she has nothing to put her awkward energy into. âNeither of them owns a boat, and they are practically strangersââ
âShe is my daughter,â Amy says, and itâs so quiet Azzi almost doesnât hear it, but she does, and it sends shivers through her. Because thereâs something dangerous, something protective in her tone, something only a mother who loves their child could convey. And it sends a flicker of hope through her. âShe is my daughter and I trust her with her siblings.â
Dean flounders for something but comes up empty, instead storming off all red-faced like a child. Amy doesnât look either of them in the eye when she says, âLet me know if you kids need anything today,â before leaving the two best friends alone in the kitchen.
Slowly, Paige turns to look at Azzi, something like disbelief in her expression. âDid thatâactually go well?â
âYeah,â Azzi responds. âI think it did.â
Things may just be looking up.
âââââââââââââââ
Dean may be an asshole, but it turns out he was right about one thing: Ryan and Lauren will not wear life jackets.
âCâmon, guys, itâs the law,â Paige insists, thrusting a pink life jacket at her sister, who scrunches her nose in disgust.
âNo way! Thatâs so ugly, Paige.â
âThe color wont matter when youâre drowning.â
âYou sound just like Mom!â Lauren sighs, and Paigeâs mouth falls open.
âYou did not just say that.â
Lauren gives Paige a smug smile, which amuses Azzi because itâs the same smile Paige gives her whenever she wins an argument. âAnd I meant it too.â
If Lauren were not much smaller than Paige, she would be tackling her right now, based off the look on her face. But instead she composes herself and turns to Ryan, who is sitting at the front of the speedboat on his phone. He feels his older sisterâs gaze and looks up at her, then at the life jacket in her hands. âYouâre funny.â
âIâm being so for real.â
âThereâs gonna be hot girls in bikinis on the lake,â Ryan replies, as if this is the most obvious thing ever. âNo way Iâm wearing a life jacket.â
Paige sighs and rubs her temple with her fingers, and Azzi would never say it out loud (for fear of being pushed into the lake) but she does kind of look like her mom in this moment.
When Paige turns on her with a warning look, Azzi startles, wondering if sheâs somehow read her mind. But instead, Paige picks up another life jacket and says, âWill you at least wear one?â
Azzi smiles, a little puzzled. âPaige, I donât need a life jacket. I can swim.â Which is obvious considering she and Paige have spent various lake days at her familyâs cabin.
âYeah, but for my peace of mind, though!â Paige shakes the life jacket in Azziâs direction.
The truth is, Azzi wouldnât mind wearing the life jacket. But ever since she put on this bikiniâpastel purple in colorâPaige has been swallowing thickly and averting her eyes constantly. So Azzi thinks she has other reasons for wanting her to cover up.
And Azzi canât let her get away with that, can she?
âI donât need it.â Azzi steps forward and takes the life jacket out of Paigeâs grasp, tossing it aside before reaching to trail her hand down Paigeâs bicep, squeezing the hard muscle a little bit. âAnd besides, wonât you save me if Iâm drowning?â she asks, smiling coyly.
Paigeâs throat bobs, eyes landing respectfully on a spot past Azziâs shoulder. âWell, thatâs not really how that works.â
Azzi blinks, and she knows just how big and brown her eyes are when she looks up at Paige through her lashes. âNo? Thought youâve been in the gym?â
âI have,â Paige says defensively.
âHm.â Azzi lets her hand trail off Paigeâs arm, resting it on Paigeâs side before dancing her fingers dangerously over Paigeâs exposed abs. âYou wanna prove that to me, baby?â
Paigeâs eyes widen, and Azzi loves the way she can not only see but feel her stomach tense under her fingers. But the moment is broken by a gagging sound nearby.
Laurenâwho has sat beside her brother and pulled out her own phoneâis now looking at them with disgust. âYou guys are so gross.â
âYou shouldnât be making sexual innuendos in front of Lauren,â Ryan adds on, though his eyes donât leave his screen.
âYeah!â Lauren agrees, then furrows her eyebrows and starts tapping at her phone. Azzi guesses sheâs probably searching what sexual innuendo means.
âHey, yo, donât blame me,â Paige says, putting her hands up and taking two big steps away from Azzi. âShe started it.â
âAzziâs a freak,â Ryan says.
âWhoa, chill!â
âHey, thatâs actually offensive,â Lauren says. She has picked up a habit of defending Azzi with her life these last few days theyâve spent together, and Azzi has decided she would do the same. âThatâs like calling her a monster or something.â
Ryan smirks, finally looking up at them. âI didnât mean that kinda freak.â
âOkayyy!â Paige jumps in before Lauren can do any more Googling. âLetâs get this show on the road. Imma go untie us real quick, then weâll head out.â
For the first time, nerves bubble in Azziâs tummy. âPaige, you sure youâll be able to drive this thing?â
Paige looks almost offended at the question. âYeah, duh.â
âItâs just, youâve never driven a speed boat beforeâŚâ
âTrust me, mama,â Paige says, nodding cockily to herself. âI got driving skills like youâve never seen.â
Fifteen minutes later, Azzi realizes Paige was telling the truth. She has certainly never seen these driving skills before.
Paige is anâerratic driver, to put it mildly. This lake is private, huge, and though there are plenty of other boaters out Paige drives as if theyâre the only ones on the water. At one point, she gets to such a high speed that even Ryan grasps onto Azzi a little bit.
When Paige very nearly runs into a cruising party boat, Azzi finally gets up from her place between the kids and marches over to Paige, who glances up at her with a sheepish smile. âWhoops.â
âLemme drive,â Azzi demands, beckoning for Paige to get up.
âNo!â Paige says stubbornly. âIâm doinâ good!â
âI thought I was going to die!â Lauren pipes up angrily.
Azzi motions to her. âSee? Youâre scaring your brother and sister.â
âWhoa, who said I was scared?â Ryan says.
Azzi decides against bringing up the fact that he kept clinging to her arm. âThis is scary, I wanna drive.â
âBut babeee,â Paige groans, bringing the boat to a stop so she can properly argue, âyou drive like a grandma.â
âI drive like a sane person, is what I think you mean to say.â
âItâll be boring.â
âPaige.â
Paige stares her down for a moment before sighing like a stubborn little kid. âFine. You can drive.â
Azzi nods, pleased, and shoves at Paigeâs shoulder when she doesnât move. âGet up.â
A slow smile creeps over Paigeâs face and Azzi doesnât like the look of that at all. âI gotta show you the ropes.â
âI donât need you to teach me how to drive this thing,â Azzi says as if itâs obvious, because really, it is. The thought of Paige trying to teach anyone herâŚunique ways is downright scary. âI got it.â
âNah, I think youâll need some help.â
âP, for real, stop being difficult and move.â
âIâm not about toââ
âCan we go?â Lauren says loudly, getting both girlsâ attention.
âYeah, Iâm getting hot as hell just sitting here,â Ryan agrees.
âI wanna get to that diving cliff Paige was talking about!â
Before Azzi can turn back to Paige to continue arguing with her, Paige has her hands on her hips and is pulling her firmly into her lap. Azzi squeaks, grabbing onto the wheel for leverage.
âPaige!â she exclaims, turning to glare at the smug-looking girl underneath her.
âYou heard them,â Paige says simply, shrugging her shoulders as if her hands are tied. âLetâs go.â
âI donâtââ Azzi starts to argue once again, but then Lauren is sighing dramatically in that teenage-girl way of herâs and saying, âSeriously, come on!â
So, almost in a daze, Azzi turns back to the front and moves her hand to the shift, getting the boat moving slowly again. She tries desperately to ignore it when Paige leans up close to her ear and murmurs, âAtta girl,â but she canât help the goosebumps that erupt over her neck and Paige must spot them because she chuckles lightly before leaning back, letting Azzi do her thing.
Trying to shake off the feeling of Paigeâs hot breath fanning over her skin, Azzi amps up the speed a little bit, determined to show Paige that she can be fun and safe, as promised.
After a few minutes of skimming over the water, Azzi calls over the wind, âThought you were gonna âshow me the ropesâ?â
âLooks like you got it,â Paige says, sitting straight so sheâs pressed up against Azziâs back again, and her hands find their place on Azziâs waist.
âWhyâd you make me sit on your lap, then, P?â Azzi asks, and her tone lilts teasingly but she is sort of freaking out on the inside because moments like theseâmoments where Azzi hardly bothers to hide her feelings for Paige and Paige, instead of shying away, respondsâare becoming a little too common for comfort.
Paige rests her chin on Azziâs shoulder, lips brushing her cheek when she says, âThink you know why, hm?â
Yeah. Definitely far too common for comfort.
Ramping up the speedboat a little bitâenough that Ryan whoops and Lauren leans over the side to touch the waterâAzzi shifts her hips. She moves out of discomfort, almost subconsciously trying to get away from this buzzing energy between her and her best friend, but Paige lets out a huff of air at the motion and, curious, Azzi does it again.
A full-on gasp this time.
A flush creeps up over Azziâs cheeks all the way down her chest, and sheâs not sure if itâs from pleasure or shyness, though likely itâs both. But she canât let Paige have the upper hand, because Azzi canât even imagine how quickly sheâd fold if that happened. So instead, she turns her head to the side and says, âAll good, Paige?â
The problem with this is Paigeâs face is still turned toward her when she says it. And when Azzi moves to reciprocate the angle, their lips are so close that they brush on the last word. On the utterance of Paigeâs name.
Azzi jerks back as soon as it happens, putting a couple inches of distance between their faces, and sheâs sure the flush is noticeable by now. She tries for a lighthearted laugh, âOh, sorry, didnât realize you were so closeââ
She doesnât see it coming when Paige kisses her.
It pulls a gasp out of her, lips now pressed against Paige parting slightly in surprise, and her eyes donât even close until she feels Paigeâs tongue dip inside her mouth.
Itâs a quick swipe, her tongue against the space between Azziâs teeth and upper lip before sheâs pulling awayâonly enough to make the kiss much more chaste.
Her hands slide from Azziâs waist to her stomach, and Azzi grips onto the steering wheel for dear life when Paige moans ever so quietly into her mouth, the sound barely heard over the wind whipping around them. And then the wind is whipping Paigeâs hair into their faces, a few strands getting in Azziâs mouth, which she takes as her opportunity to pull away. Paige stares at herâThe Look againâfor only a split second this time (Azzi much prefers that over the lingering one) before her face is breaking into a smile, not cocky or smug or teasing but just bright, and Azzi canât help but laugh with her as they pull Paigeâs hair out of her mouth.
âKeep your eyes on the lake!â Lauren yells at them, and when they look at her sheâs got her nose wrinkled. âWhat is it with you guys and PDA today?â
âMaybe someone put viagra in their coffees this morning,â Ryan suggests, looking equally as disgusted as his little sister but also twice as amused.
âWhatâs viagra?â Lauren asks.
âYo, Ryan!â Paige snaps, her hands moving tantalizingly from Azziâs tummy to rest low on her hips instead, and Azzi forces herself to look back where sheâs driving. âKeep it PG, dawg!â
âI could say the same thing to you,â he replies, and Azzi isnât looking at him but she can picture the smirk on his faceâshe knows the look all too well by now.
The three of them bicker for a few more minutes, and Azzi tries really hard to focus on where theyâre going rather than the implications of that kiss and all the questions that follow it.
Paige is the bad driver, but when she leans forward and mimics herââAll good, baby?ââAzzi worries she may be the one to crash this boat.
âââââââââââââââ
âSunscreen time!â
âNo, what?â
âWe just put some on!â
âAz, Iâm never gonna tan at this point!â
Shaking the sunscreen into her hands, Azzi motions the three siblings towards her. âCâmon, you need it.â
âI donât burn,â Lauren insists as she steps up in front of Azzi, lifting her arms dutifully anyway.
âYouâre already getting a little red,â Azzi points out, applying an extra-thick layer onto Laurenâs rosy nose.
âThis is lame,â Lauren groans, though she still lets Azzi work in silence and mumbles a thank you before she turns back to the lake.
Ryan is next, and he doesnât complain about it but he does stare down at his phone the entire time, his head only falling back down when Azzi tries to push it up. âRyan,â she sighs.
He tears his eyes away from his phone, only to look around subconsciously. Azzi knows heâs trying to see if the gaggle of teenage girls along the rocky beach have noticed him getting his sunscreen done.
âHurry up,â Paige complains, nudging her younger brother in the back, and he turns around to shove her.
Azzi fights back a smile. âYou can put it on yourself if thatâs better.â
âItâs good,â he says nonchalantly, but he hasnât quite mastered acting like he doesnât care.
Azzi finishes up quickly, ending the torture with an encouraging smile, watching him run up to join his sister where she stands on the ledge above the lake, sneaking up on her. He pushes her in and Azzi laughs at the way Lauren screeches before her eyes drift to Paige, who is now standing right in front of her, looking awfully petulant.
âYou really donât want me to tan, huh?â she says, wincing as Azzi rubs the cold lotion over Paigeâs sun-kissed shoulders.
âYour white ass is gonna burn if we donât do this every thirty minutes,â Azzi says, reiterating what she said the past five times Paige complained about the sunscreen.
âI got a little melanin in me.â
Azzi looks at the way Paigeâs blue eyes are squinting against the summer sun, the way her pale skin is already tinted pink, and raises her brows.
Paige holds her hand up. âJust gimme the sunscreen.â
Chuckling, Azzi squirts some into her hand before giving the bottle to Paige, who turns around and starts doing her front while Azzi does her back. Theyâve done this maybe a hundred times, before countless sunny fair days and hot boat rides, but today it just feels a littleâŚoff. Everything feels a little off about them recently.
Azzi worries it may be her fault. She has always been good at hiding her feelings for Paige, good at making sure her attraction doesnât show on her face just like she knows all her other emotions do. But recently, ever since they began this facadeâand more so ever since they arrived in Montanaâshe knows sheâs been slipping up. She thought sheâd be okay but she wasnât prepared for the way Paige would look at her like she wasnât pretending, the way Paige calls her pet names even when theyâre alone, the way Paige told her she liked kissing her and wants to do it again.
The way Paige did do it again.
And there lies the burning question: why?
Azzi knows Paige doesnât have feelings for her. Azzi knows that sheâs the only one who lies awake thinking about having Paige in every sense of the word, the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night thinking of Paige with an uncomfortable stickiness between her legs. She is the only one, of course, who is in love.
Then why do Paigeâs eyes and hands wander nowadays? Why does she call her baby in quiet moments? Why did she kiss her when she really didnât have to?
Could she beâattracted to Azzi? Maybe through playing this role, sheâs seen Azzi in a new light, and realized her best friend is no longer dorky and fourteen but rather a tall, pretty twenty year old with a great ass. (And yes, Azzi knows she has a great ass.)
She could be attracted to her and not be in love. She could be attracted to her and have no other attachment whatsoever. The two things can be true at once, canât they?
The thought flatters her but it mostly scares her, because sheâs barely surviving this unrequited love as it is. But with her best friend having any level of attraction back? How is she supposed to continue on like that?
âAzzi?â Paige asks, and the tone of her voice implies sheâs already said it a few times.
Azzi hums, blinking. âSorry, yeah?â
âUh,â Paige says, and itâs then that Azzi realizes her hands have stopped rubbing lotion into Paigeâs back and have sort of just come to rest on her waistâlike itâs instinctive. Like itâs natural. âYou done back there?â
âYeah, sorry,â Azzi says, but for some unknown reason she canât find it in herself to let go.
Paige glances over her shoulder. âAzzi?â she repeats.
Azzi canât really take it any longer.
âWhyâd you kiss me?â
Paigeâs sides tense up under Azziâs hands, and then sheâs stepping away, out of her grasp, and turning to face her.
The look on her face is guarded, almost closed off completely. This is dangerous territory and Azzi has barely dipped her toes in the water yet.
When Azziâs hands fall helplessly to her sides, Paige says, âI was pretending.â
As much as Azzi doesnât buy it, the wordsâand the flat, cold intonation of themâsting. âDidnât feel like it.â
âWhyâre you being weird about it?â Paige asks, eyes dancing nervously away from Azziâs face.
âIâm not, Paige. I justâI wanna know. For real.â
âYou agreed to do this for me,â Paige reminds her, as if that has anything to do with this. But, of course, it has everything to do with this, and Azzi hates how easy it makes it for the both of them to hide under a facade, a lie.
âI know,â Azzi says carefully, also taking a step back if only to get away from Paigeâs chilly stare. âBut you didnât have to kiss me this time. There wasnât a reason.â
Paige shrugs, and Azzi hates to admit it but she is much better than her younger brother at acting nonchalant. âWeâre sâposed to be a couple. I donât want my siblings getting suspicious. They know Iâm a touchy person.â
Getting the sinking feeling that Azzi wonât get anything out of this conversation other than a fight, she nods slowly, looking down at the ground. âYeah, I guess so.â
Paige, as usual, thaws at the slightest hint of weakness, taking a tiny step forward. âDid it make you uncomfortable?â
âNo,â Azzi is a little too quick to say. The kiss caught her by surprise, but theyâve only done it two times and Azzi is quickly coming to find that kissing Paige is the most comfortable thing in the worldâitâs natural, and right, and like curling up in bed with a book and a warm cup of teaâand Azzi also knows they should never do it again.
Despite the earnest answer, Paige looks at her suspiciously. âYou sure, ma? Donât ever wanna make you uncomfortable.â
Azzi does her best to fix her face, which she worries may be showing a little too much. âYeah, yeah. Iâm sure.â
âAight,â Paige says, but she still doesnât sound very convinced. Azziâs just glad sheâs letting it go.
âSorry for bringing it up,â Azzi says. Sheâs not.
At this, Paige sighs, reaching out to bridge the gap between them, running a gentle hand up and down Azziâs arm. âNah, donât be, I get it. Sorry for getting a lil defensive.â
A little? Despite the fact she doesnât believe Paige one bit, and that she doesnât like anything about the interaction they just had, Azzi manages a smile. âYouâre good.â
Paige nods, and her smile at least seems to be sincere. But as they jump into the lake, and as Paige talks Azziâs ear off while Azzi floats around lazily in a donut floatie, things feel even more off than before.
Azzi canât quite place what it is until late that night, when theyâre both going to sleep and Paige is, for the first time in ages, strangely quiet. She glances over to find Paige lying on her stomach, face turned away, breathing too quickly to be asleep.
And thatâs when Azzi notices it. The gap between them, the sheer amount of space from Azzi on her side all the way to Paige, who is almost on the edge of the bed.
Paige always sleeps close to Azzi.
And she always sleeps with her head turned towards her.
@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334 @makethemhoesmad @the-other-half @rosemariiaa
lmk if u wanna be on my tag list btw!!
#pazzi#pazzi fics#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#fake dating#paige buckets#the people's princess#wlw
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â.・.:* gojo bf headcanons
notesâ i think⌠i miss my wife :â( (itâs gojover iâm writing this to cope)
ft. satoru gojo
warnings: none really js some mentions of sexual things but nondescriptive (very fluffy for the most part)
first and foremost i feel like a common mischaracterization has to be cleared up⌠bro is NOT a womanizer lmfaooo
in fact heâs prob a virgin like it would take a lot for him to be sexually vulnerable like that
now that thatâs been said-
heâs basically ur best friend
like yes he loves u and yes ur his s/o but he can also be so so annoying at times
rich asf so heâs always spoiling u
and he doesnât even do it on purpose
for example heâll be shopping for himself in luxury brand stores (bros a diva) but then he sees something u would like and js buys it bc why tf not
he never expects anything in return
def the whiny brat in the relationship
kind of a red flag but he LOOOVES starting meaningless arguments for funsies
also loves complaining abt anything and everything to u
and whenever he learns a new piece of gossip youâll be the first to know fs
100% NOT afflicted by nonchalant dreadhead disease
like he THINKS heâs being all nonchalant and shit but in reality heâs the most chalant person ever
his favorite type of date is going out to eat
whether itâs a fancy restaurant or stalls on the street he loves eating and he loves watching u enjoy ur food too
it would be ironic to say his love language is physical touch but for those he feels close to he likes when theyâre physically close as well
bear hugs = his favorite form of affection
likes watching movies w u but not romance movies (he thinks theyâre cheesy and unrealistic)
heâll watch spiderman w u over and over again tho and to this day cries abt how mj doesnât remember peter
loves playing mario kart w u
beats u every single time and brags about it
doesnât really like TOO much pda
like heâll hold ur hand, put his arm around u, hug u, etc. in public but thatâs pretty much the extent
but in private itâs a different storyâŚ
good luck getting this man to detach his 6â3 body from u
his infinity is off almost 24/7 when itâs just the two of u
likes taking random pictures of u when ur caught off guard so he can tease u later
heâs a menace in the kitchen but when ur cooking and u need a taste tester he always volunteers
he got u a âkiss the cookâ apron for ur birthday once and now just uses it as an excuse to kiss u randomly whenever u wear it
brags about u to his students like all the time and they get annoyed
âgojo sensei ur supposed to be solving the math problem on the board-â
âoh! y/n is SOO good at math! i mean just yesterday she told me-â
âGOJO SENSEI!!â
has a big ass sweet tooth that ends up rubbing off on u
his phone lock screen is definitely some cursed image of u and every time someone asks who heâs dating he just pulls out his phone and theyâre like âoh⌠đâ
his love for u is very obvious bc heâs always giving u âthe lookâ when ur not looking according to other ppl
iâm ngl tho sometimes u wake up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and see this dudes bright blue glowing orbs staring right at u and it freaks u tf out
sassy bf apocalypse in a nutshell
#anime#manga#jjk#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen#jjk anime#jjk fluff#satoru gojo#satoru gojo headcanons#gojo saturo#gojo x reader
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undercover sheik au again, in which i think its also very funny if sheik realizes impa and ganondorf have confoundingly similar personalities
#tloz oot#ocarina of time#sheik#zelda#impa#ganondorf#undercover sheik au#double agent sheik au#i feel like iâll just go with the first au name from now on bc it feels easier to say#anyway. you ask for plot and i give you silly dynamics instead#sheik drawing diagrams and balancing equations trying to understand the people around him#i think sheik would have a tendency to overanalyze things in general#always feeling the need to extrapolate the best possible solution & wanting to understand the greater order of things#she looks very composed most of the time but is almost always ruminating on some sort of problem#and also sometimes on things that arenât problems lol
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oh i can already tell iâm about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers donât know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask âwhatâs the most insane thing that can happen next?â#âoh ok heâs gonna chop daveâs dick offâ#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like âerm iâm not gay đ awkwardâŚâ and sheâs NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and itâs impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly theyâve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like weâre dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show thatâs been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i donât even think mark has much to do with it
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FINALLY I DRAW SOMETHING!!!!!!!
some Joseph, both young (around 1980 i'd say, when he was traveling w Stan a few years before the portal incident) and old (~2017, now an art teacher at Westchester High). i like to think the first one is a picture Stan took of him while they were traveling and the second one is his staff photo at WH. the more things change the more they stay the same. i might give em backgrounds and foregrounds to look like that
he's had that jacket since the 70s. real leather will last you.
no glasses alts + the first sketch below
#[holding him in my hands like a tiny baby bird]#idk if hes hiding something on his neck. he might be. those neck covers just happened. probably less embarrassing than Ford's tattoos thoug#also im not super interested in âwhat if Stan had a romance partner who helped him run the shackâ type Stan/oc buuuuuuuut#unfortunately i am not immune to old man yaoi and have been thinking âok BUT what if Jojo helped Stan run the shackâ during this rewatch#i think theyre not super open about their relationship so Dipper & Mabel have no idea until the manotaur ep when Mabel realizes âwoah......#âGrunkle Stan do you have a crush on Grunkle Jojo???â#[Joseph so called Grunkle Jojo bc âwe've known each other long enough hes basically familyâ]#anyway Mabel tries to âfix Stan upâ to help him ask him out & Jojo is fully aware its happening and says nothing bc Funny#they do tell her and Dipper at the end of the day bc since she went through all that trouble trying to set em up they should know#plus kids these days tend to be a lot nicer about gay people sometimes#also good: Jojo giving Stan A Look every time he's shitty or sexist but otherwise not caring about any other morally dubious/bad thing#like Jojo can excuse regular tax fraud/stealing/scamming people but he draws the line at almost getting Waddles eaten by a dinosaur#hes the worlds most ânot my circus not my monkeysâ moral compass#hes said that before. and Dipper points out that it IS his circus bc he helps run the shack#to which he responds âhah. yeah :)â bc he helps do the fraud and scams <3#fuck i have to draw that as a comic or fake screenshots or something#anyway im not planning on focusing on a Mr's Mysteries AU but i may talk about it occasionally#ANYWAY ANYWAY i wanna talk about him i love talking about him send some asks let me talk about him <3#oc: Joseph van Dyke
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with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;
a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.
linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.
#phantom hourglass#linebeck#loz#legend of zelda#salty talks#imo the action vs inaction thing feels esp interesting to me when looking at oshus specifically. he and his world are in grave danger#and he knows it and he actively does nothing and even seems reluctant to let ciela and link go ahead and do something.#of course he comes around on it but it's very interesting. has he given up at that point? thats what it suggests to me#that hes like. joined the people of mercay in just lying down and waiting for other people to fix their problems or just. not do anything#otherwise on mercay you have that old guy in the bar who spends the whole game not leaving bc he doesnt want to face his wife#and she never goes to the bar to actually look for him and just talks about it if anything#the guy with the blue tunic talks a lot about linebeck and his ship and almost gives the impression that he really wants to talk to him#but yknow. doesnt. theres the women that tells you about docks being shut down and how linebeck is the only person who's showed up#the woman you see at the broken bridge who's just like oh well! time to wait til someone fixes it.#even the guy fixing the bridge iirc is like well fuck i gotta do it or else oshus is going to bitch at me abt it#everyone seems reluctant to act which makes for an interesting way in how our main crew stands out#it is less so oh theyve been chosen specifically for this its moreso they're the ones who are fucking doing something about this#for their own various reasons some of which are more selfish but theyre still doing something#will likely have more stuff to say when im done but ofc we have other characters in the game who have to do with this#anyways. linebeck is so animated all of the fucking time it's great i dont think theres any other character that moves as much as him#when he's just standing around to talking to link it's great. he's so ready to get going.#it works with him being an anxious mess and also with like. oh he's probably understimulated. you know he's got a nasty case of wanderlust#i can put it with the idea that he's understimulated and afraid to stim in public so he's just constantly moving#he probably drums his fingers on tables bounces his leg when sitting paces around switches the way he sits or lays down often#tbh this kinda fits in with him being one of the main characters who takes action moreso than a lot of other characters#his arc culminates in him taking action he's going after the ghost ship he's moving around the world the only issue is that one of the#actions he takes is running away from his problems literally n metaphorically (tho idk if facing the jolene problem is a good idea for him)
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...
#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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Not sure if it's reassuring to me that several people on twitter coming forth to state they've played part of the game saying the actual gameplay maintains that dark fantasy feel, or if it's making me more suspicious
#like bc even looking at the previous game trailers#yes a lot of them use cinematics from the game that are tweaked and silly music#but all of them do give off 'serious shit is going down in thedas' vibes and a lot of visually dark and more somber scenes#this trailer is just. very bombastic i think?#and i hope its just like. some trailer that missed the mark and the rest of the game is what we expect#bc i can see how if edited some shots could've been more dark/gritty#like davrin fighting for example#but man that dislike counter is almost at 100k sjskjd#like yeah yeah we all know wait til Tuesday#but like. i feel like they must be a little 'oh shit let the beta players say something on twitter' đ#i do have some conspiracy theories abt this trailer and like. ea and marketing#fingers crossed its a good sign that ghil dirthalen was basically paid to help w the lore among others#i need tuesday so i can know how i feel
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when jane's powers return in season four (and because they were regained by her confronting and accepting her past, rather than being retraumatised with it!) they're stronger than they ever were. when she starts getting a handle back on them, she very quickly comes to realise not only have they affected her, but her mother, too. one of the biggest losses that came about with her losing them was the fact that she could no longer visit terry in the void; while there was no real communication there, it did allow jane to sit with her, and gain a little more connection than she could in the real world. when she first visits the void after their return, it takes her three hours to find terry, something that is both unexpected and incredibly worrying. but when she does, it's something of a miracle. jane's increased strength and control over the void actually wakes terry up from her catatonic state, but only in the void. there's no way to help her mother physically, but she does do so (unbeknownst to her) mentally. terry is reborn in jane's newfound control over the vale of shadows; she becomes the woman she once was, and while her body remains frozen in a "good dream", her mind connected to jane's own allows her some freedom. jane is able to speak to her mother in the void, is able to be held by her, and while it's still unfair and jane cannot stay in there forever, it's something. this only lasts for about eight months, as each visit slowly begins deteriorating terry's physical and mental state, and jane's health begins declining after spending hours upon hours in the void each and every day.
when jane finds out these visits are actually killing her mother on the outside, she deems to stop, but terry expresses the importance of them being able to speak, that she'd prefer to die on the outside, if it meant she could have just a few months with her daughter like this. terry and jane's connection was always so strong, which ultimately led to terry "waking up" in the void, but even jane's newfound strength cannot save her from the harsh realities. each visit nearing the end of those eight months, terry fades more and more, becomes weaker in the void, and her real body eventually gives up. jane's in the void when her mother eventually passes on, and physically feels their connection weaken, like some part of her suddenly becomes lost in the shadows, a part she'll never find again. jane falls into a depressive state for weeks after her mother's death, given she's technically lost her a second time, but soon comes to realise she was lucky to have even shared those eight months together. it was better than nothing at all. there is a proper burial and funeral, (and when jane dies, she's buried next to her mother) which allows jane some sense of closure. she never fully recovers from losing terry, nor from the fact that she never had a proper relationship with her, but she does eventually find some peace with it all.
#studyâ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#IF U SAW ME POSTING THIS YESTERDAY. no u didn't.#i wanted to change things again (who is surprised!!) and decided to just rewrite it all rip.#me taking a few weeks off from this blog and then coming back with a brand new terry / jane hc? more likely than u think.#purely self indulgent too i might add!#every day i battle with making my terry portrayal canon to jane's timeline so jane can have her mother in every verse not just#selected ones.#but. her not having her mother is ultimately important to my writing of her and sfjasfjas >:( hate myself for it.#so here be a brand new addition to my timeline that gives jane SOME time with her mother!!! bc i need it for my mental health.#i imagine when terry dies her body turns to smoke in the void. almost like what happened to billy when jane was spying on him.#and he stopped her connection and faded in front of her.#and jane also visited terry a lot in the void because it allowed her to see more memories of her mother.#i hc that she had a real grasp on that before s3 when she looks into billy's memories.#terry (even in her catatonic state) WANTED jane to see what happened to her in hawkins lab.#so she'd want her to see the good stuff too. her childhood. andrew. her grandmother that raised her and becky.#all the good memories!#so when terry dies jane loses all that completely.#which leads to jane grappling with the conflict of whether or not she should have kept visiting terry in the void which eventually led to#her death.#because if she hadn't connected to her. she'd at least be able to look back on all those memories.#jane becomes obsessed within those months and barely speaks to anyone else.#in any free time she has. she's in the void with terry.#her own physical body grows very weak after a little while but she pays no attention to it and even gets into heated arguments with becky.#because becky is jane's carer and needs her safe and healthy. needs to look after her.#but jane is so adamant about the fact that this is her MOTHER and she's finally able to speak to her.#UGH i have so much to say abt this actually i sense a brand new addition to my timeline coming on.#ANYWAY. i'm emotional about them that is all.
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having a crush makes me feel like such a freak this has to stop...
#i keep thinking abt some guy that works in this different department of this store i work at and hes soooo attractive it makes me feel crazy#i know like nothing about him because we spoke once after running into e/o months ago but i cant stop thinking about him its fucked up!!!!#yesterday my coworker was telling me that he was staring over in our direction while walking the other way#and he was looking so hard he almost ran into one of the check lanes and i somehow saw none of this#but my coworker was like 'he was totally staring at you' like be so serious rn you cant just tell me this shit#i was smiling like an IDIOT after that and he totally might not give a fuck about me whatsoever!#but hes super nice and has a great voice and i need to know what hes like and all of his interests and his life story.... in a normal. way.#he also might have a gf bc a diff coworker of mine saw him out shopping with some girl though it could have been a friend or wtvr#but then this OTHER coworker whos actually worked with him closely was saying shes pretty sure hes gay so what the truth here??#anyway
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Hey guys gimme an aesthetic for Baabe pls
#a bitch is strugglin#that bitch is i#i am s t u h r u g g u h l i n g#can be almost any aesthetic#i say almost bc there are some that i look at and they just give me the ick#dont ask me which ones those are tho#idfk#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted baabe#redacted asher
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nah its weird being in your early 20s, being surrounded by friends going thru some sort of early adulthood crises and "holy fuck im never gonna amount to anything im already 21, im never gonna be making money im never gonna be famous" -thoughts when like. all of the media you consume is by people who are well into their 30s and often, 40s
like i feel like im so chill about this partly because i feel like if this random mid class guy who got famous for the first time off of a podcast he started at 35 after working restaurant and retail jobs ........ anythin can happen u can do new shit after 27 girl
#idk#rant#tw existential crisis#tw existential dread#tw existentialism#of COURSE not to say retail or restaurant jobs arent important#in anticipation of the comments im prolly gonna get cause this is tumblr#but like i know those are the jobs 95% of people HAVE to work and dont like and ppl get worried theyll get stuck-#-in jobs they dont like#idk man.#so many of my favourite artists have only started to BEGUN pursuing their art after theyve turned like. 31#a bit chunk of the critical role cast was like. almost 40 when they STARTED!! the show!!!#not that they are now but that they started#granted all of them were sorta famous already ig but thats not the point bcs cr is what theyre known for and they started it later#justin mcelroy was a married 30-something at the beginning of mbmbam#like. idk its weird i sometimes wanna just like take my friends by the shoulders and go Hey.#u were a teenager Yesterday. give yourself some slack and enjoy your life#no matter what it looks like#and not to say that having crises and shit isnt valid god it is i do it all the time#but its good to keep urself grounded yk. remember that everything Will be okay even if youre not a lawyer by 23#or if you dont know where youre going at age 23#i just think its given me so much perspective and chillness to this whole. life is long thing. to have these ââârole modelsââââ-#that are older than me#idk reminds me that literally Nobody. literally nobody achieves that influencer lifestyle at 19 life#its nice. anyway#rant over#vent
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If anybody wants an update on the precariously-close-to-failed democracy of Ohio, the Republican supermajority is attempting to keep the sitting president off of the November ballot on a technicality they created (and have previously bypassed when convenient).
These are the same people that tried everything in their power to keep an abortion initiative off the ballot despite swearing up and down it wouldn't pass anyway because they totally represent the average Ohioan's opinion on this matter so they KNOW Ohioans are against abortion, and when the measure DID get put on the ballot and Ohioans DID vote to protect abortion, they immediately said "This isn't over," because fuck the people's will.
I've said it before and I will continue to scream it until I'm red in the fucking face:
One party isn't perfect, but they have shown they value the most basic tenets of representative democracy.
The other party is pulling out all the stops to ensure we are a "democracy" in theory only.
#btw some of the worst republicans in the nation (tho not the most outrageous) are from ohio#before roe v wade was even being challenged every small town and conservative city#was starting to pass legislation banning it#'in the event' rvw was overturned#some of the shadiest most corrupt conservative politicians outside of texas are in ohio#and they are constantly overlooked bc 'it's ohio who cares'#despite being the 7th most populous state in the country it feels like almost no one ever acknowledges the fucked up shit that happens ther#it is extremely frustrating#i was crying on the phone to my bf once venting abt the shit i was seeing and hearing re:abortion#bc i genuinely believed (and still do) there was no way so many conservatives would start passing such bans#all at the SAME TIME#if they didnt have word that something was going on. that SOMEONE behind closes doors had hinted at something.#and i was told i was being paranoid. there's no way it wld be overturned.#that's what a bunch of blue state motherfuckers kept saying#and look what happened#and now these same blue state motherfuckers say they dont have/want to vote for biden#and it drives me insane#bc the kind of conservatives that have taken over ohio love that rhetoric.#and maybe this is bc im from a red state but i CANNOT STAND you stipid motherfuckers that take shit for granted#voting is the absolute bare minimum#when you dont do it and promote voter apathy#these are the peoppe you're letting win#and frankly giving in to voter apathy bc ur in a 'safe' blue state is despicable to me#bc ur potentially spreading that apathy to states that need voters that ARENT Christian fascists to get out and vote#and the onyl thing keeping some of the more despicable red governments in our country in check rn#WHETHER YOU WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT OR NOT#is Biden's administration#they are NOT equal and if you are genuonely making that argument im not being nice anymore u just have shit for brains#youve spent too much time engaging in rhetoric on the internet and have officially lost touch with reality#im.on mobile so I'm not fixing the typos in my tags fuck you
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me, on the one hand: its weird to gatekeep people identifying with characters just bc they don't share their same race
also me, upon watching a video of someone wanting the saiyans to be in ssj form 24/7: you just want them to be blonde with blue eyes all the time bc you're mad that otherwise you can't project on to them since they're likely asian đ
#ig these aren't mutually exclusive stances but still#in fact if anything it bolsters my former stance bc why tf cant you just identify with them as they are#anyways ive been holding this back bc of whiney people on here but yes i kin with bruno from encanto and theres nothing you can do#to stop me.#if i relate to him in every other way ASIDE from being fuckin colombian then thats a very stupid and arbitrary line to draw im sorry and#i also dont care about your weird gatekeeping#its almost like familial abuse isnt restricted to ones race and also race is fake but anyways#fuck your weird ''white' people cant imprint on these characters' shit like. you're literally trying to stop ppl from seeing themselves#in other races. how tf do you think thats beneficial to stopping racism like AT ALL?#me when i hate when 'white' ppl put themselves in my shoes and try to empathize with me#me when i reinforce the racial binary and act like its real and not made up by white supremacists and pretend im not contributing#to white supremacists' delusion that race is real#theres literally a woman who would conventionally be recognized as white in the movie but ig gingers cant imprint on her at all or w/e#bc they dont speak spanish or something idk. is it about skin tones? bc babe give me a couple of days on the beach and ill look like bruno#dsjhfsvdhjvgfhdsvhgdf#and no i dont believe you if you try to say that the abuse he faced was somehow unique to colombian culture or something.#if anything that kinda abuse was prolly passed down from europeans who colonized the lands so i have even MORE of a reason#to feel like i can identify w it since im mostly of 'european' decent ._.#at least as far as ik.#('european' is in quotation marks bc its a place w a lot of different types of people some of which aren't recognized as white by#some white supremacists even and idk what im mixed with so)
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hmm i have like, 500-600 taiwan dollars leftover in a tin from the last time i visited relatives... i wonder what would happen if i just handed it to my little cousins like. "yep. here is gift. have fun."
#i heard them trying to sound out 'eidelweiss' on the piano so i've also been thinking of giving them this little music box i bought#a while back that plays eidelweiss. put it in little box with money and letter that is like. 'hello. cousin cares about you.'#'but cousin is awkward and has bad hearing and speaking skills. anyway here's some money and a music box for you.'#i checked n it's like the equivalent of almost 20 usd so like. that's an appropriate gift for nine-year-olds i think#today at work i was cutting glow sticks in half for our craft and i was not wearing any gloves so i got minor chemical burns <3#like part of the skin on my thumb n pointer finger got bleached so i went around n showed alllll the kids#like. 'hey. check out my chemical burn. this is why we wouldn't let you guys cut open the glow sticks yourselves.'#'because it will do This to you if you touch them too long. this is why we had you wash your hands when you finished.'#n some of them were like 'just wash it off' n i was like. 'it is a chemical burn. it is on my skin.'#at least i Think it was a chemical burn but i mean it was very minor (makes sense bc it's just glow sticks) so the skin's flaked off by now#similar happens when i touch my hair bleach w/o gloves so i'm Pretty Sure it was chemical burns#we had a table of kids who were speaking cn to each other so at some point i pieced together they didn't seem to pay attn. bc low en skills#anyway i broke my own rule abt no phones at work to look up 'chemical burns' in cn for them bc although they know i speak Some cn#(by giving them minor instructions for the glow stick craft) i was like. 'chemical burns... how to say....'#apparently they are mostly from taiwan which is fun i love it when i Don't receive microaggressions for writing in traditional c':#today's my only camp shift for the week tho... one of my coworkers died last week so i told my boss i could pick up his camp shifts#if no one else had but apparently i'd go over hours this week... feelsbad man. it's summer + we're always understaffed#so there's gonna be a point when the front desk worker is gonna be covering the camps for a little bit which is. i feel bad ahaha#the worm speaks
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