#i say 'some' b/c you can easily fumble that kind of plot set up

[alteredphoenix]

Lv2 kara Cheat datta Motoyuusha Kouho no Mattari Isekai Life...

I remember reading a few chapters of the manga on r/manga about three-four years back, and my memory of it is hazy, so I'm practically going into this blind.

It's a good first episode, other than the last six-seven minutes where the ladies immediately accuse and label Flio of being a predator for simply offering to take Fenrys on an escort quest to the Delaveza Forest via Teleportation, only to play take-backsies not even two minutes later and tell him no can do they're gonna wipe her out because she's actually a demon.

Like, if the accusation was done in a way that hinted to the viewer they were trying not tip the kid off that they were onto her, then the show did a poor job of it and it clearly doesn't go in that direction.

Which is a shame, because you could've had the next episode be about Flio having cute bonding moments with Fenrys, only to get pulled aside by Balirossa and the girls halfway through and be told they're keeping tabs on her because she's soliciting help at a guild she's not registered to and all but signaling she's Dark Army, they know she's lying through her teeth, so that could've added some much-needed tension to the plot. But that's not the story the anime wants to tell, so instead you don't get to know these adventurers that accuse Flio right off the bat (for something they're proven wrong about) and rush from Point A to Point B without any time to let the plot breathe whatsoever.

Here's hoping it recovers from that little stumble, because as an isekai story featuring a God Mode MC there is some potential to it.

[deepdarkwaters]

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Got back from the Kingsman double bill a bit ago and am trying to put my brain into words even though I'm very tired and a bit numb and I smuggled five hours' worth of gin into the cinema in an Evian bottle so I'm as drunk as Harry at breakfast time.

OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW

Watching them back to back like this was interesting because it highlighted so clearly how much better the first one is than this fumbly ridiculous sequel. Not saying it's not good or not worth watching or whatever because it absolutely is worth watching for several reasons I will babble after another teacup of gin, but holy god is this really the best they could come up with? REALLY? A 100% true fact that I believe with my entire heart: YOU reading this, you are a better writer than people being paid obscene money to write films. I could easily name thirty fic writers off the top of my head right now who have an infinitely better grasp on pacing and plot and characterisation and dialogue than the people responsible for this stuff. I've not read any press or fan reviews but I imagine there's going to be a hell of a lot of backlash over so much in this from every angle because it's just so incredibly lazy and sometimes ugly and absolutely cannot stand up to its own hype.

Really good things:

* SPECTACULAR, EH!

* Eggsy/Harry and Eggsy/Merlin shippers, goddamn we have a lot of new stuff to work with. Chemistry through the roof, especially Eggsy/Harry (including possibly the best clingy desperate hug I have ever seen on film in my entire life WE HAVE WAITED SO LONG AND IT'S HERE AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL). That was the heart and backbone of the first film, I'm so relieved that it's not only survived but evolved into something fiercer and often messier. So so good to watch. Pretty sure I've got Harry/Merlin written down the inside of my heart like the words in a stick of rock, and though it's not romantic you get much more of a sense of their friendship here and it's all just a bit shattering and gorgeous.

* Pretty much everything to do with Harry's memory loss and Eggsy and Merlin trying to shock him into remembering was great, Y E S  P L E A S E. And Harry's matter of fact comments about his loneliness, fuckkk. Angst writers, go forth with all this new information and break my heart some more! Fluff writers, fix him!

* Lots of beautiful intricate fight choreography which is literally all I need in my action films, so even if I did think the rest was complete balls (which I don't entirely) then I'd still be happy. Nothing comes near the vivid glorious gutpunch of the church scene as a standalone set piece, BUT there's so much Harry & Eggsy teamwork and please just inject this directly into my veins, it's amazing. Prepare for several years of me writing many more elaborate fight scenes than I already do.

* Part B to the above: Whiskey is a lot of fun and his fighting style is full on hardcore pornography to me.

* Merlin in a flawless Kingsman suit, RIP me.

* One of my Bespoke WIPs is about Merlin and Eggsy getting into the habit of going to the pub together sometimes and rolling home completely drunk with a kebab in each hand then trying to get in the house really quietly because Harry's asleep but they end up waking him because they think it'll be really nice to cook him breakfast in bed and Harry comes stomping downstairs in his dressing gown like "it's four o'fucking clock, put those frying pans away and drink some water!" while Merlin and Eggsy side eye each other and try not to giggle. So maudlin singing drunk Merlin was very nice to see :P

* Eggsy and Roxy bromance. There’s such lovely chemistry between them as well, it feels so natural and real, and it’s so good (and miserably rare) to see platonic friendships that aren’t shoehorned into some shitty boring love triangle.

* Eggsy and Tilde were seriously adorable. It ended up not at all satisfying as a romance plot arc because it was like CUTE - fight - marriage, it needed so much more screen time. Like all the important stuff was there, but it was just so abrupt. Include a satisfying romance or don't include one at all, fuck your lazy bullet points. But it started so well and I hope there's a ton of fic that treats them better than the script did. I appreciate the anti-Bond-ness of it all, that Eggsy's genuinely in love and wants to settle and is figuring out how that and his job can possibly fit together, especially with the complications of marrying into royalty. Interested to see where they take that if there's another film. Until then, soo much scope for fic.

* I'm shipping Harry/Elton like burning.

* Poppy was terrifying in a vaguely Umbridge-ish way. That sort of characterisation is always freaky, Julianne was great. So glossy and cheerful but absolutely dead in the eyes. And I'm ambivalent on Charlie, but I ABSOLUTELY want lots of brutal older woman villain/pathetic younger male minion smut. Please provide asap.

* T H E   M Y T H I C A L  B R E A K F A S T   S C E N E   I S   R E A L

Really bad things: well where the merry fuck do I start haha.

* I will never ever understand why they thought it was a good idea to wipe out all the locations and almost all the existing characters at the very beginning. It's lazy shitty writing. If you feel like you need to shake up your fictional world you don't just knock it all down and start over. It's cheap and very shallow angst.

* I only have two middle fingers but I need about seventeen million to even begin to profess my disgust at them killing Roxy. I knew it was going to happen, it was the only spoiler I asked someone for ahead of time and it was not at all a surprise to find out for sure. Still utterly infuriating. The way people responded so positively to her in the first one is a real indication of how ridiculously low the bar is for female characters in action films ("good at something" and "not the hero's love interest" are literally the only two requirements), and JG/MV didn't even think enough of her to follow through on the absolute base level achievement they made before. Fuck everyarse involved in this decision.

* Absolutely revolting honeypot mission scene. Not really the fact that it exists, just the entire way it was handled and shot - so predictably male-gazey and laddishly "waheyyy!" that it kind of turned my stomach. Horrible and completely unnecessary.

* A million new characters and not enough time spent on any of them to care. Tequila was barely more than a cameo. Champ and Ginger hardly had anything to do. All the Statesmen (except Whiskey) were completely two dimensional and it's such a jarring contrast to the obvious care taken over Eggsy, Merlin, and Harry. It's not even because we already know them, I don't think? It's weird to try and explain. The Statesman characters just feel so rushed and shallow, there's no substance to any of them. Kill off Roxy and replace her with paper cut-outs, ok that makes loads of sense!!! Whiskey’s a level up from the others because he gets loads more screen time and some beautiful fight scenes, but his ~emotional plot twist fell completely flat. I don’t know what it was, the pacing or a boring cliche backstory or what. It was just dull as fuck. WE HAVE HEARD THIS EXACT STORY FIVE MILLION TIMES.

A bad thing that's somehow not really a bad thing even though I'm fucking numb and want a hug:

* I've been raving for ages to people about Roxy being killed off and trying to figure out a way to satisfactorily explain how I feel about a character dying for a reason and a character dying because a writer is a lazy bastard who wants some quick angst. Merlin's death was an A+ wonderful death along the lines of my dear fictional boyfrends Quincey Morris and Lee Scoresby and a million others. Maybe it comes from all the swashbuckly historical adventure stories I grew up loving, but I'm a desperate sucker for a good noble death. Characters brave and self-aware enough to look at the bigger picture of an impossible situation and realise that their death means a better outcome for the people they love? This is ABSOLUTE CATNIP to me. Characters who go down fighting to the very end. If a character I love with my entire soul has to die, this is how I want it to happen. Give them some agency and a proper goodbye.

I mean I fully expect him to be magically resurrected with fancy prosthetic legs if there's another film because we saw those wedding set photos of him in the nice neon green cgi stockings, so really I should be saying "death". I totally reject this one. (I reject Roxy and JB's deaths as well, but the big difference is I really can't see the filmmakers bringing them back. Eyeroll.) Maybe that's what's making it easier to deal with? A not-real noble courageous self-sacrificing death. That's about as good as it gets. All three of them get Oscars for this whole sequence.

Anyway the tl;dr of it is:

This film is a very beautiful, very patchy mess. The good stuff is absolutely gloriously perfectly incredibly wonderful. Most of said good stuff is the interaction between Eggsy, Merlin, and Harry, which is written and performed with real care and heart. Nearly everything else is relatively lacklustre filler, misogyny, and shitty nonsensical decisions. These people cannot write women.

I liked it? I will definitely see it 900 more times, mainly for wet terrified Harry and gorgeous fight scenes. But ffs, how can it possibly be this difficult to pinpoint the reasons why people loved your extremely successful creation and consider including them in future plans?

I'm feeling fairly zen about everything. I kind of trained myself ages ago to think of sequels as just another bit of fanfic, so it's going to make absolutely no difference to the cheerful fluff porn and fight scenes I like to write. What I'm annoyed about isn't so much to do with ~new canon~ limiting what we're allowed to create for ourselves now, because that's just silly. It's more about being pissed off at the shoddy state of action films, particularly women in action films, when it seems like it should be SO EASY to take these astronomical budgets and create something groundbreaking. I'm so tired of this unimaginative lazy narrow-minded bullshit.

[thepromptperson]

Mega-Story Idea: Valentines Day Edition!

Alright, so confession time: I’m not the best person to go to when writing romantic stuff. But I’ve decided to give this a go for Valentine's Day this year. 

Alright, alright, let’s do this:

The setting is in a fantasy type of world, kinda like Tolkien styled I guess? You can throw in whatever kinda dudes you want in there– elves, dwarves, wizards, demons, or whatever you see fit. But for the sake of the story we’re gonna throw in magic and gods.

So, the characters, right? Character A and B, any gender you want, you decide the names, but I’m gonna go ahead and give them some personalities.

So Character A is a regular human person (OR ARE THEY?), nothing too special in their eyes. Genuinely nice/kind, easily frightened, and doesn’t like loud noises. They’re kinda physically weak too.

Alright, now to Character B. So, as I mentioned earlier, gods and magic. Character B is an all powerful war god, known for being cruel, devious, and intelligent. Strong as hell too. Also known for being one of the few gods who has never fallen in love (NOTE: They’re Demisexual/romantic, because why not?).

…Until they meet Character A that is! (Bet you weren’t expecting that turn of events, whoops there I go being a smartass again.)

So, this is kinda a slow burn love story, with some adventurous elements to it.

So moving on to the plot of the story, Character B’s closest friend (aka Character C, the god of life) is kidnapped by another god, and now Character B has to team up with one of Character C’s demigod children to help save Character C. Spoiler Alert: It’s Character A. Only when Character A was born, C sealed away A’s powers, wanting their child to live an average life. Which they did! For around 21 years until C is kidnapped.

Character A is the only demigod child to have ever obtained C's abilities, and the only two individuals to know about this fact is A’s mother, and B. So Character B goes out and searched for Character A, and when they’re found, Character A is without a doubt scared shitless. I mean, how would you react if a powerful god of war was standing right in front of you and you didn’t know why they were there for you? Exactly.

So, B unseals A’s abilities, A passes out, and when A wakes up they find themselves with an annoyed god and a sad mother sitting at the dinner table speaking with one another. A is finally filled in on what’s going on and kinda goes numb to the situation, just nodding along to what the two has to say. B, who might be a cruel god is (believe it or not) not a complete asshole, asks A to join them on this journey to save their other parent.

Character A, after a few moments of consideration, agrees to go on this journey.

So now they’re off! Off on a wild adventure with just the two of them, alone, for long periods of time (you get where I’m going with this).

So the journey lasts up to a year. During that time period, the duo shares many perils, and A slowly learns to control their abilities. And for the first month, it was a rocky start until Character A nearly sacrifices themself for Character B in some sort of fight. At first Character B is pretty angry, like, “Why would you do that you dumbass?!” To which A just shrugs and says, “Well, I mean, compared to you I’m not that important?”

And Character B’s heart just stops.

Up to that point, Character B hadn’t realized it but A had really gotten under their skin– getting them to laugh at silly jokes, subtly caring for them, making sure they got to eat, sleep or whatever B knew a human properly needed. B had begun to see A as a friend, and all of a sudden the realization had crashed down on them violently.

A was human after all and they’d die one day– this was the first thing B thought about, and from that point on, decided to close themself off from A. Which, in case you couldn’t guess, failed miserably. 

A few weeks after the incident, Character A finally confronted B about what B was acting so off, and being so closed off/unresponsive to A. B, against their better judgement, confesses why they’ve been holding back on interacting with A. A feels flattered, honored, and saddened all at the same time. So, they push forward, telling B that A would love to be friends with B, and that they would be honored to have B as a friend.

B is unsure how to respond at first, just openly staring at Character A. Till finally, B drags A in for a tight hug, whispering to them, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” And A’s heart breaks a little bit right then and there, but instead of verbally responding, they hug B tighter.

From that point on in their journey they continue to grow closer and closer. B begins to notice little things about A. What was their favorite food, animal, color, everything and anything about them. A begins to notice the same with B, and by the end of the journey begins to develop romantic feelings for them. But, understanding that B doesn’t have any interest with love, decides to just remain friends with B, and to not push forward with those feelings.

Eventually, they save Character C, who is overjoyed to meet their child after so many years and to see that Character B had come to save them. They have a huge fight with another god before hand, and I’ll leave whatever happens in that fight up to you guys. ;)

So now C was saved, A returns to their home, and B returns to their realm. But after around a year of being away from A, B begins to grow lonely, even with C around. They realize, to their horror, that B had fallen in love with A. B is terrified, an emotion that you’d not see within the war god that often, but none the less B was absolutely terrified.

Eventually, after weeks of moping around, Character C knocks B upside the head and tells them to go see A. B agrees to and heads down to earth where they find A lonely and bored, working on a farm.

B immediately starts to court A, to which A is surprised about but, overjoyed. B is a nervous mess, which is amusing for A to see. B– a powerful, vengeful, and cruel god– fumbling over their words and oh my, is their face red?! Finally A and B are married, and A becomes a god. The end.

I might make a sequel story idea to this next Valentine’s Day, but until then, this will do.

[Hope you all enjoyed this! Also, I totally didn’t procrastinate till 2 days till Valentine’s Day to finish this post, no way! -Jessie M. Wilhelm 💜]