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angryschnauzer · 3 years ago

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Old Friends New Memories Part 2

Summary: A chance meeting means you run into a very old friend and reconnect, but with you both having considerable emotional baggage, can you re-ignite what you had left burning all those years ago.

Fandom: Henry Cavill, Hellraiser Hellworld

Pairing: Mike (Hellraiser) x Female Reader

Word count: 2793

Part 1, Part 3 (coming soon)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Talk of past abuse, male domestic violence survivor, gaslighting, drugs, drug addiction, rehab and therapy, impotence, therapy, mild references to assault, rebuilding relationships, talk of mild sexual acts

A/N: This is very much a ‘fix it’ fic to bring Mike’s character on from Hellraiser events, explaining that what happened in the movie was in fact a very bad drug fuelled trip. And somehow i am also writing angst again. But it has a happy ending.

I do not operate a tag list but if you follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications you’ll get an alert every time i post something new, plus be able to find all my past works. Everything can also be found on my AO3

Henry Cavill Masterlist

Old Friends New Memories Part 2

The insistent knocking woke you, sitting up in bed feeling disoriented only to discover Doof standing by the door whining;

“Okay Doof… it’s ok…”

Grabbing the baseball bat you kept hidden behind the bedroom door you crept in the darkness through the house, keeping to the side of the hallway where the light from the streetlamp outside didn’t cast a faint glow in through the window. Crossing carefully to the window farthest from the door you ever so gently moved the net curtain and peered outside, surprised to see the tall figure of a man standing on your porch wearing a hoodie with the hood up over his head, his arms wrapped around his body as he paced back and forth, lifting his arm to knock again before thinking twice and lowering it, muttering to himself. You squinted out of the window and that’s when you saw it, he hooked his left hand into his right and started to rub the back of his hand with his thumb. Letting out a deep sigh you set the bat down;

“Mike”

Quickly running to the door you let it swing open as you stepped out, taking his hands in yours;

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I… I can’t go back…”

“Back where? Jeez it’s cold… you’re frozen, come in”

You were wearing just your t-shirt and panties so it was hardly the attire to be standing on your front porch in the middle of January when there was a foot of snow on the ground, so quickly ushered Mike into your house and shut the door. Your dog Doof was sitting patiently in the hallway, and as you switched on a small lamp and ushered a seemingly shell shocked Mike to your couch, Doof followed and climbed onto the couch next to him and onto his lap.

“Mike, what happened?”

“I’m sorry… I just had to get out of my place… some of my roommates came back from a party, they were drinking and partying in the kitchen… they got some coke and were doing lines on the table… I made my sandwiches on that table, I could get it in my food… I don’t want to go back to that life…”

You suppressed the sigh you wanted to express. Over the last few weeks your relationship with Mike had rapidly developed. He’d spent the night many times and you’d both been completely honest and open about your feelings for each other, and also what scared you and aspects of your lives you wanted the other to catch up on having spent over a decade apart. Mike had been incredibly open about how he’d used drugs in the past, and made it clear he never wanted to go back to that life. One night he’d even come over even though he’d had the start of a cold virus, and refused to take cold & flu meds. You hadn’t pushed the issue but had instead sent him to bed with a warm tea and a hot water bottle, and after 20 hours of sleep he had been feeling much better.

But on the subject of beds and sleeping together, that was one thing that hadn’t fully developed yet, however with the delicacy of the situation you knew it had only been a few weeks. Mike’s abuse from his ex-wife had been horrifying, and had left him with mental trauma that had impacted his ability to maintain an erection when being intimate with a partner.

He had however been more than generous when it came to other acts, his oral game was on point, and you were surprised by how long, thick and skilled his fingers were. You were more than satisfied. You just wished you could reciprocate - and had offered - but he had turned you down politely each time.

Back in the present you curled your hand into Mike’s as he sat shaking on your couch, his other hand stroking Doof’s ears who was relishing the midnight petting;

“Mike… come to bed. Did you bring anything with you?”

He shook his head;

“No, i walked”

“YOU WALKED? It's like ten below freezing!” you stood and ordered Doof off the couch; “Mike… Bed. Now. You too Doof, we’ll sleep as a family tonight”

You woke up surrounded by dark hair; Pandora, your big black void cat, was asleep on top of the pillows above your head, Doof your black Labrador, asleep in the crook of your legs, and with his arm thrown over your waist was Mike, sleeping soundly. As you stirred both animals did the same, Pandora moving into the crook of Mike’s arm;

“Okay Doof, potty time then breakfast”

This time you pulled on a fleece onesie and boots, knowing that if you didn’t go outside with Doof he would just play in the snow rather than do what was needed. Leaving Mike to sleep in bed you slipped out of the room, setting the coffee machine to brew as you let Doof out to do his business, before quickly coming back inside to grab an insulated mug and your coat at which point Pandora slunk out the door through your legs.

As you stood in your backyard watching Doof run around trying to chase of small birds that were still trying to find food, the sound of the screen door squeaking on its hinges made you turn and you smiled at the sight: Mike standing on the back porch wrapped in your fluffy robe with bunnies on, holding his arms around his torso and his teeth already chattering;

“Has he pooped yet?”

Smiling you made your way up to the porch, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your chin on his chest;

“Not yet. You can wait inside if you want?”

“I’ll wait a little longer with you here. Feels good. Plus Pandora farted as she left the room and the bedroom stinks… I opened a window.”

Turning you glared at the black feline that was attempting - and failing - to try and poop in secret behind a snow covered plant pot, oblivious to the fact she was the opposite colour to everything in the yard;

“That’s right stinker, make sure you do it all, no more crop dusting inside”

Mike laughed and it felt good to hear him happy after the previous night, but it still hung over you as something that needed to be talked through. Mike nodded towards the garden;

“Doof’s done and heading towards the cat poop”

Shoving your coffee mug into Mike’s hands you sprinted down the steps and got to your dog just in time to stop him eating the gourmet cat poop that Pandora had just deposited, and much to Doof’s grumbles dragged him back up to the porch, getting Mike to take Doof’s collar;

“Can you take him inside while I clean up?”

Laughing, your blue eyed hunk nodded and made his way inside, Doof grumbling as he was strongly encouraged inside too.

Once you returned into the house you saw Mike leaning against the door to the kitchen, watching as Doof wolfed down his breakfast, hooking a thumb over his shoulder;

“Pandora is having hers on the washer, i put a towel down to catch any mess… so this bottomless pit doesn’t swipe hers”

“Thanks”

Shucking your boots off and washing your hands, you made your way over to Mike;

“Did you want to get up and do stuff or head back to bed”

“Let's go back to bed”

It was declared a snow day shortly after you’d returned to bed, Mike’s phone chiming to say that teachers, coaches and staff did not need to report in for work at the high school, and any extra curricular clubs were cancelled thanks to the weather report for the afternoon which forecast almost 2ft of snow within 24 hours in exposed areas. You’d called the three clients that had their mutts booked in for doggie detailing at your pet parlour, all had been grateful they wouldn’t have to venture out in the forecasted weather and had rescheduled for a week’s time. Climbing back into bed you sat propped up against the pillows;

“I have an offer for you”

“Oh yes?” Mike quirked an eyebrow

“Move in”

“What?”

“I’m serious, move in. You’ve said a few times you didn’t like your living arrangements and when you are at your place you spend all your time in your room. If your roommates aren’t going to respect your wishes as to what you’re comfortable with, then i’d like to offer you an alternative”

Mike was silent for a moment before his face started to light up;

“Really?”

“Yes, really”

“But… but what if we have an argument and break up?”

You rested your hand on his arm;

“Arguments happen. We’ll get through it. Plus we can draw up a tenancy agreement, agree on rent or your contribution… it’s something my sister had with her man before they got married and had kids”

Mike was quiet for a moment before he grinned;

“Let’s do it. I haven’t got much stuff and most of the furniture came with the room. We could probably fit most of it in your minivan”

Grinning you pressed a kiss to his lips before jumping out of bed;

“C’mon, let's get moving”

Mike hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said he didn’t have much stuff. You’d taken a few holdalls and a suitcase to pack his things into, only to be surprised when it had literally fitted into three bags. Apart from a few protein shake flasks and a nutribullet blender, he didn’t have any appliances or kitchenware, and he had bundled his sheets and duvet into a trash bag, and on the way out to the car had simply tossed them into the trash cans that sat on the side of the road even though collection day had been and gone.

“You ok?” you asked as he approached your minivan, curling into his arms as he wrapped one around your shoulders and you both leant against the vehicle.

“Yeah, i’m good. I left them a note to say i had moved out”

“Did you need to get a deposit back or anything?”

“Nah, it was never in writing. We just paid our cash to the guy on the lease on the first of the month and he sorted things out”

“C’mon then, i cleared the snow behind your car whilst you were doing the last run through the place, i’ll follow you in the van. The streets are clear and quiet so you’ll be fine”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and smiled;

“Okay roomie, lets go”

When you’d gotten back to your place you’d offered to help unload Mike’s car, but instead he’d sent you inside so you didn’t have to worry about Doof trying to make a bid for freedom, so whilst he’d carried his stuff inside you’d cleared some space in your closet; a space on the hanging rail and some drawers and storage baskets, unsure as to exactly how much space he would need. You were surprised when he ran into the room and dumped the last two bags on the floor, cursing as he did;

“Shit shit shit…”

“What’s up?”

“I forgot about therapy… i just had the reminder on my phone… i should be there in 5 minutes”

“Give them a call, they might not even be in the office with the impending weather”

As Mike paced and made a call to his therapist you started to prepare to walk Doof before the snow set in for the day. Lab’s needed their exercise whatever the weather. When you emerged from the laundry cubby with Doof’s snow booties and waterproof doggie jacket you were able to hear the end of Mike’s conversation;

“Yeah, sure. I can do that. I’m linked to the wifi here. Send me the zoom link and i’ll log on”

Hanging up he smiled;

“You were right, i had missed a call and an email from their office whilst we were packing my shit up, they’d offered to reschedule in person or a zoom call, so i’ve opted for the latter. I can take it in the bedroom”

“Oh don’t worry, i’m about to take Doof for a walk, you can do it here in the kitchen”

Pressing a kiss to his cheek you set off after Doof who was now going to play ‘avoid the dorky doggie-wear at all costs’, but after 5 minutes of chasing him around the living room you’d eventually managed to dress him up and had done the same for yourself, popping your head around the kitchen door to wave to Mike before heading out of the door.

Mike rested back in the chair, listening as his therapist summed up their session. His eyes drifted to the view out of the kitchen door to the back door and he frowned as he saw the snow had started to fall;

“... Mike, everything ok?”

“It’s snowing” he stated

The therapist turned and he could see on screen as they looked out of their own window;

“So it is. Good thing we went with the zoom appointment”

“No, it’s snowing and she’s not back yet”

“Do you want to disconnect and call her?”

Mike shook his head;

“I’ll give her another 5 minutes. Let’s finish up”

“That’s great Mike. Now, we have covered some great points in todays session, and i feel you’re making great progress, but a point you touched on earlier i’d like to circle back to. Your intimate relations…”

“Yeah… I don’t want to disappoint her. She’s done so much for me, but i feel like i can’t please her like a real man would”

“When you do engage in sexual relations does she reach orgasm? Do you?”

“She does. I don’t. But i want to. I’m starting to get hard, but the moment the thought enters my brain that i could suggest taking it further, another little thought comes in and tells me why should i bother? And i lose the erection”

“So it’s the thought of joining your bodies for mutual pleasure?”

“Yeah, i guess so”

The therapist was quiet for a moment before tapping their pen on the notepad;

“Have you considered mutual masturbation?”

Mike went wide eyed;

“Huh?”

“Well, i wouldn’t usually get into specific semantics, but sit opposite each other and masturbate. You are only responsible for your own pleasure, and she hers”

At that moment you appeared at the back door, smiling and waving which caught Mike’s attention, his face softening and a smile spreading across his face which didn’t go unmissed by his therapist;

“I take it she’s home now?”

“Yeah, covered in snow and Doof looks like a polar bear”

“Oh i bet that’s a sight. Well we’re done here so unless there’s anything else?”

“You wanna see Doof?” Mike said excitedly, not waiting for an answer as he stood and quickly helped you inside, before grabbing the tired and happy dog and pulling him into his arms before dipping him down so the camera on his phone would pick up the wriggling mutt.

You heard laughing on the other end of the line, shaking your coat off and setting your boots on the mat as you helped rid Doof of his outerwear whilst Mike proudly showed off your dog over the video link. Eventually Doof had had enough and wriggled from his lap, giving a wave over your shoulder as you ran from the room to save your soft furnishings from being Doofed.

Mike turned to the screen and smiled, listening as his therapist finished up;

“I’m really pleased to see how things have settled for you. You know i’m fully reachable via email or SMS if you need me between sessions. And you’re right, Doof is great. Perhaps have the conversation to see if he’s had any service dog training, as from what you’d said about him he seems a great candidate for that”

Mike nodded and they ended the call, leaving him sitting in relative peace and quiet in the kitchen as he heard your squeals and shouts as you tried to give Doof a warm bath to wash the snow and salt residue off his belly and legs. Quickly opening Amazon he scrolled the app as he looked for something to get you, he had something in mind but it wasn’t a department he’d ever looked at before, before finally settling on what he hoped was just the right item. Ticking the ‘its a gift’ option and he hoped it arrived in discreet packaging. For once he felt happy and settled, a smile on his lips as he thought how lucky he was to have found you again.

#henry cavill #mike hellraiser x reader #mikey x reader #henry cavill fluff #old friends new memories

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galacticlamps · 2 years ago

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I was tagged by @terryfphanatics (thanks! sorry I took forever - I started answering these & didn’t finish and just remembered it was in my drafts)

What book are you currently reading?

The Two Towers! which upsets me bc I’ve been at it since August (technically - I wasn’t ‘at it’ in, uh, October, November, December, January, or February, for lack of time - but I’m back at it now, and I even convinced myself to start over from the beginning so I didn’t forget anything)

What's your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

sorry but the last time I went to a movie theater was probably in 2017, 2018 at the latest, so... yeah I’ve got nothing

What do you usually wear?

jeans, boots, at this point in the winter usually some combination of flannels, sweaters and/or sweatshirts. (I’ve been really cold lately)

How tall are you?

5′6″ ish

What's your star sign?

capricorn

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I do, yeah

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

mostly nicknames, I have quite a few at this point. I’ve yet to pick one to use on here, I should probably do that soon, I’ve been meaning to for years now

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

I don’t recall ever wanting to be anything in particular as a child, honestly, but I can say that so far I’ve pretty much stuck to the career path that first caught my interest in high school, if that counts

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

nope! and it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a serious crush either, which I’m honestly grateful for. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship at this exact point in my life anyway, so I’m just gonna keep vaguely admiring every funny girl who’s kind to me for the time being without actually developing feelings for her. I hope It seems to be going well so far mostly

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

(I’m trying to think of two that relate to each other)

I am very good at drawing objects and not at all good at drawing people! technical plans are something I’ve dealt with extensively both academically & professionally, but in the more general sense I’ve always been an ‘I can’t draw’ person. tbh I should find some of those artists who complain about backgrounds and just do all their architecture etc for them

Dogs or cats?

nothing against dogs but cats for sure, always cats

What's something you'd like to create content for?

not to sound like a jerk, but I work in the arts industry & really hate the place ‘content creation’ has come to occupy in everyone’s vocabulary, even though I totally realize that in a context like this it’s probably just trying to be a vague enough term to be inclusive of the many different things people can create. I like writing the fanfic that I do, so without switching subjects, I would like to get better at drawing people because sometimes I have ideas that would be better expressed as images or even short comics

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Obsessing over 60s who is my baseline so I don’t think that counts - but it’s been almost a month since I watched Holding Achilles & there have only been hours when I didn’t think of it, not entire days

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Ngl, (& not to be a total downer, but) the last 12 months-ish have been an extremely busy/hectic/unpredictable year for me, with both the good & the bad stuff coming out of left field most of the time. So while there were certainly more than enough disappointments, for the most part, they weren’t the kinds of things you could be excited about beforehand (relatives dying, people fighting, strained relationships, illnesses, work stuff in a perpetual state of flux - or as I’ve taken to calling it: death disease & dubious employment). I suppose there were a lot of events I wanted to make it to that I didn’t, due to the aforementioned junk, and I certainly imagined myself getting to read more books & write more fics than I did, but that doesn’t feel like a good specific answer.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

I suppose that depends who you ask? There are lots of work or work-adjacent skills I could name that would be news to people on here, but those are such prominent parts of my life otherwise that they definitely don’t feel ‘hidden.’ But I guess even among people who expect me to be handy/crafty, more overtly artistic things tend to surprise them - like I’ve had people forget that I was the one who painted something, for instance, because that’s not the kind of skill most associate with me. (and I am very good with color & pigment tbh)

Are you religious?

nah. I’m not like, a committed atheist or anything either, I just grew up catholic & don’t go in for that anymore, nor do I have any desire to go seek out another faith

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

time uh, let’s say a haircut

tagging people kinda seems rude after taking multiple months to come up with so many kind of non-answers oops, but if anyone would like to copy the questions, either as an opportunity to do a little q&a or an excuse to tag/ask your friends, be my guest

#ask games #of sorts

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hiddleloki · 4 years ago

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*insert Mushu “I live” gif*

Ok, so I finally watched Loki and I loved it. Loki and Quicksilver are my fav characters and I was really, really mad at Marvel for what they did to my boy Quickie, but I’m still holding out hope that they somehow fix that at some point. I mean, hello, variants? That thing officially exists now.

Luckily Loki seems to be more favored by Feige/Marvel and seems like we’re gonna see lots more of him. Season 2 and possibly even MoM. Season 2 is old news as there were already reports of it actually happening last year, and this year in January Deadline confirmed S2 of Loki with Michael Waldron returning. But I was holding out hope for Loki making an appearance in MoM (I want to see Strange interact with Loki again) and it seems like there’s a good chance of this actually happening.

Anyway, some thoughts about the show:

- I loved the show’s cinematography. It didn’t feel like a tv show at all

- Soundtrack is just *chefs kiss*

- TVA Loki my beloved. I honestly think TVA Loki might be my favorite version of Tom’s Loki so far. This show finally gave us the opportunity to really delve deeper into Loki, who he is as a person, how does he form relationships with people outside his family. It was just so fun to see different sides of him, like making a friend, falling in love? I never thought I’d ever see that. Especially not after IW

- Really liked his reaction to watching his ‘greatest hits’ and realizing his family actually loved him. Loki was always kind of a softie who genuinely cared about his family and seeing his parents’ (and his own) deaths was so emotional

- Infinity Stones being used as paperweights for the TVA will never not be funny. It broke my mind and sent me into existential crisis just as it did with Loki.

- Loki needs to give Casey a fish at some point. Or take him to an aquarium.

- Mobius needs his jet ski in season 2. I also want to know more about Mobius and his backstory. What was his Nexus event, does he have a family, what is his real name?

- I really liked his friendship with Loki and the fact that he’s canonically Loki’s first real friend. Loki needed a friend (the W3 and Sif were never really his friends, Loki just tagged along I guess) and I’m happy he finally has one

- I need to find out more about B-15, who she was, her real name...Wunmi absolutely killed it during “I looked happy.” scene. God, that bit broke me

- Ravonna was sus to me from the start and she’s also one of the characters I want them to explore more. Especially now since Kang and his variants are also involved.

- Sylvie is probably my favorite new character introduced. I knew Sophia’s gonna play Sylvie and she’s gonna have a large role, but damn I didn’t expect to love this character as much as I do. There’s so much more left of her to be explored and I think her arc in season 2 will be amazing

- I saw that Loki/Sylvie romance coming the moment Lamentis episode ended. There were so many hints in that episode, I’m actually surprised so many people viewed them as having a sibling type of dynamic.

- I know that their love story is not a typical straightforward romance, but also serves as a metaphor for self love, but I found the idea of Loki falling in love with someone who is an au version of him, but also isn’t him both interesting and hilarious. Also, it was adorable especially that blanket scene in the void. There’s just something adorable about Loki being a complete softie for someone else. You know what, I’m rooting for them. I hope they get their happy ending, they deserve it.

- Literally every character in this show deserves their happy ending. Like, just the idea of the variants not knowing who they are, being brainwashed and forced to work for this organisation...*happy endings for everyone please*

- Majors’ variant of Kang, aka He Who Remains was everything and is right behind Sylvie as my new favorite character. The guy absolutely killed it and I need more of him and his (many) characters/variants right now. Plus I would’t mind if we see this particular version of He Who Remains again.

- The way they made Loki come out as bi was also so well done and I’m so happy they acknowledged that. Disney is notoriously bad with LGBT+ representation so the fact that the creators of the show managed to put that in was everything. I heard the director was fighting real hard for that to be made canon and I appreciate her effort.

- We were shown more of Loki’s abilities. It was about damn time.

- Alligator Loki is the baby Yoda of the marvel verse. I loved the theory that there’s an universe in which Alligator Loki was adopted by Crocodile Odin.

- Classic Loki.....Richard E Grant stole that episode. God, I wouldn’t mind an episode that focuses strictly on Classic Loki, he was just such a great character and he broke my heart

- I wonder if Kid Loki will travel to the main timeline and join the Young Avengers at some point

- THROG

- I really liked how they established that variants are basically their own people. Their own beings, they each have their own backstories, autonomy, clear differences that make them THEM. They aren’t copies, they’re individuals. And that they aren’t genetically related, but that they share the same soul and role in their universes (basically temporal aura) because that will also clear up some confusion with upcoming multiverse movies, for example Spiderman

- I suppose Loki confirms that all Peter Parkers in NWH are basically variants of Peter Parker, but just like Lokis, they aren’t the same, which explains why they all look different and why they also have different aunts and families. It’s not DNA that makes someone a variant of a certain being, it’s a soul. A role.

- I really hope that that one rumour of various Stephens in MoM actually turns out to be true.

- Strange is gonna kill Loki and Sylvie

- Which brings me to the last take:

- Ralph is totally Peter. I am clowning yes, but lemme have this.

Overall, I really liked the show. I loved it in fact. It was really character driven and didn’t focus much on action, which is a plus for me, because I rather watch characters talk and interact with each other than action sequences.

The bad thing is that now I’l have to wait at least 2 years to see what happens next. And I’m curious if there’ll be a bit of a time jump between both seasons.

#loki #loki series #loki show #tom hiddleston #sylvie #sophia di martino #mobius #owen wilson #ravonna #gugu mbatha raw #jonathan majors #kang #sylki #ralph bohner #quicksilver

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petalsmooth · 4 years ago

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Ok.

Let’s talk Lili.

First off we only know what stars put out about themselves or other people say about them. We are not friends with these people. We are not in their homes. We don’t usually hear what they say in unguarded conversation. What we know is what is out on social media with some highly distorted soundbites from chats or DM’s with her mother that were exposed.

We were initially presented a portrait pushed by her and her family no less of a middle class family with the standard girl next door hit it big narrative. Down to earth, relatable, somewhat quirky. Strong two parent supportive household. All that was missing were the apron and pearls.

This girl came out of the gates talking about a modernized Riverdale with two girls who would be actually close and not vying for the same redhead. Feel free to add/or correct along the way of course...especially early on when not following as closely.

We got very little in the way of insight into Cole and Lili because they were trying to keep it quiet even if there were hints together. Mostly during this period what fans were fed was that she was slightly awkward socially, maybe not the most intellectual but nice and harmless. She spoke of empowering women, independence, she constantly shut down the idea of Barchie and praised Bughead. Along through the year’s she would speak to social bullying or bullying in general. She would openly talk about struggles with mental health. She’d talk and show her cystic acne and share photos not all airbrushed in ode to body positivity. She’d talk about not having an hourglass figure, and cellulite and often go out in ratty shorts and a bun sans makeup. You see she’d talk about it then follow through by showing lived the walk or calling out photoshops done of her.

Again this is “relatable girl next door quirky Lili” we told was the REAL Lili.

She would frequently talk and post about her family and dogs at home and how much she loved and missed them...though oddly not so much her older sister.

At a certain point it became undeniable Cole and Lili were together to even the hardest deniers. Of course also the Met gala eventually made official for media.

We get have her liking posts such as Miley’s about how lucky she was to have a man who checked off all the boxes. But at times there were glimpses all wasn’t kosher. People have mentioned various cons where she’d be caught flirting somewhere else, or she’d be in a bad mood giving Cole a cold shoulder. We recently saw an old video of them walking and her basically demanding he drop the fans and attend her. We have the con were Camilla is sexually harassing Cole everywhere and Lili doesn’t shut it down until Camilla tries to grind on him. It was so bad even Mads intervened. We have the interview where she is talking over him or rolling her eyes and basically being the unprofessional brat her fans claim she is not. Even though it’s ON CAMERA. Snapping at your co worker/boyfriend and rolling your eyes during a professional interview is not deniable.

Flashforward to the trip to Italy because for me there was always something off about that. That trip was obviously planned far in advance. Clearly Lili was supposed to be there. Her fans quickly blamed Cole because Lili was working. Lili didn’t have to work. It wasn’t a career changing move to do that film. It did not do well. I’m not entirely sure what was happening around that time but I have the sense Cole was disappointed/a little angry she prioritized it over him accepting very likely the offer AFTER the trip was planned.

Lili spirals during this time. Cole comes back to clean up mess. They are quiet on social media for a long time then slowly emerge again and eventually get the photo booth shots, the wedding and her mingling with NY friends for once. Turns out close to the end for them.

I don’t want to make this a Sprousehart post though although some relevance to bring part of it up. The point is Lili put her career over her relationship. It was a calculated decision. It was also the wrong decision. Her fans talk about her being this warm giving person but that was a cynical call and a pretty lousy thing to do to your boyfriend of several year’s. I’m all for supportive partners but there are time’s where you make sacrifices if you really care for someone and this was a special trip planned long in advance. She blew it off. If I’m the partner she does this too, I question why I’m putting in the effort if it doesn’t mean to them what it means to me.

TBH I think the bad choices she made there is why tried to make it up by meeting with his friends, the wedding etc...

Something than clearly happened because by January they were done. Not sure we’ll ever know but it looked like they were trying to fix things given the happiness hadn’t seen on Cole’s faces in a long time in those booth pics and then...it was done. We didn’t know at the time, but this is timeline Cole gave. There was a brief attempt at reconciliation where she babysits him at a photo shoot and posts a photo of them in bed and then shortly after...Cole calls it off.

He heads to LA, she follows him there but not without making sure to shove Casey’s face into her chest to post and rent a place close to where he is staying. She posts weepy messages about the world ending etc....and weird new photos mimicking old shoots with him so naturally people think this means whatever happened they worked through. Around same time she and hers manipulated her fans to try to cancel him earlier because she misunderstood a picture of Kaia....although flat out if he had been with Kaia he was SINGLE and it was no longer her business.

She tries to walk back the firestorm she unleashed on him by “defending” him from a lesser twitter trend after realizing misconstrued the Kaia picture, All summer she weirdly seems to be trying to avoid the topic if they are together or not despite saying once if they weren’t she’d tell people. She finally puts her foot in her mouth one two many times' and Cole confirms they broke up which she doesn’t acknowledge. Because she doesn’t want to be broken up.

As we know know it wasn’t all rainbows on the set even before all this happened as in the musical she’d launched an object at him hard enough to have the crew concerned. Lili fans keep saying Cole is abusive but the only evidence we have of abuse is her towards him. We also had her suddenly doing a 180 from past 4 year’s and excusing cheating with Archie and promoting everyone in her live recaps except Cole/Jughead.

Back to the events following Cole’s post....then we get a sudden string of interviews taking shots at Cole, doxxing him, implying he could have strayed (just to resurrect hate against him) but can’t say he actually did because she has no proof. We know this because in those chats admit it was just suspicion and paranoia and never did have any names.

We learn that Lili has been funneling news and gossip and photos to keep her mother’s hold on the fandom in check and her mother in turn has been bullying people who would stand on Cole’s side. They sought to ruin him. This is not debatable.

For year’s people had made fun and called Bree out for being an obsessive stalker unable to let a relationship go, then Lili starts doing the same. We know she has tried to copy Ari’s style, her mother made a snide comment about breast size, Lili tried to taunt Ari from on set and Ari shut her down. A girl who almost never was in the line of sight of paps suddenly is snapped everyday following break up even before the public new. That doesn’t just happen. She wanted the attention.

I’m not going to go into all of it, you all know it. Suffice to say revealing she has a bitter vindictive attitude she has submersed herself in ever since Cole made it clear no reunion. She won’t even broach the topic of Bughead/Jughead unless forced. You can spin all you like but the split screens was not an artistic choice by RD. It was spurred by need to keep them apart.

Lili last summer was doing precious little other than a post or two of Black Lives matter and then when Cole gets arrested suddenly she jumps on the me too and sets up impulsive lives. Maybe she meant well but a part of me thinks she did it to attract his attention. Notice once she got praise for it and the initial protests faded she more or less doesn’t bring it up anymore. Cole never intended to get attention, it just happened because he’s a star and got taken in to a jail cell. He never put himself on camera for notice.

Lili also co-opts the murder of a girl to flaunt she thinks she looks good naked. Completely tone deaf.

Lili very rarely is seen in fan photos, only usually when she’s getting flack for it online. She, a girl who talks about bullying, went on a midnight tirade against a guy who dares to critique or poetry setting her fans on him. Then deleted it probably because publicist in her ear.

She first said poems not about Cole, than said you could read into what you wanted to sell them. Now she doesn’t want to talk poetry or sequels because it flopped and was critically panned.

There are constant rumors about Lili on sets of productions to point they even had someone on her newer movie try to downplay. Yet we see in a video the cast barely talking and looking tense on a boat.

The girl who used to talk about body positivity now lets them airbrush abs onto her.

The girl who used to talk of therapy and mental illness now promotes OTC supplements for $ and cults.

If she mentions cellulite she uses other tik toks of people showing not her own.

She said she would never be on tik tok, yet now has her own and post old videos that aren’t funny.

Lili once tired to attack Cole by talking about losing yourself in drugs or alcohol or sex yet we’ve seen her drug paraphernalia because she advertises. Her friends post and laugh over her being drunk. She was in an off and on relationship with Wallis that doesn’t seem to be about anything but sex.

We were told Coles friends are bad influences but Taylor is out there solicitating questionable clients and making videos slamming LILI’S COWORKER as a bad actor and his brother,

The majority of Lili’s posts no longer feature Sunny or her family/Addy.

She insulted Vancouver, compared to a prison, and made it clear her creature comforts were of more importance than a pandemic. Not quite the attitude of an empath. Which she claims she is with intention to be a master which require sucking more gullible people into the cult.

She brags about being a “rich man” without understand the context. She went from artistic photos to modeling pinups to fuel her lack of self esteem.

She’s in her mid 20′s, claims she had grown and matured in the last year but there is no evidence of it. Still can’t work with her ex without buffers which still influences show direction though her fans deny.. Still lives off junk food and hangovers. Those glasses aren’t just for sun. Her timeline is mostly an ode to her vanity with pictures of herself and then her dog. She doesn’t seem to have any causes she’s deeply involved in on the side apart from her cult. She’s still stalking Cole as her impulsive makeup tutorial showed. She said she cut out of her life anyone who doesn’t service her. I highly doubt she is receiving quality therapy on the regular right now. She still does not seem to possess the ability to own her mistakes and apologize when warranted, rather deflects or erases when heat becomes too hot.

The content she puts out about herself post break up is very different than the bill of goods fans were sold before. She is a far cry from that quirky girl next door that stood FOR something more than vanity and shallow affirmation. So no, I don’t see what you see in her stans. Everything that once seemed to distinguish her from other spoilt princesses has long faded.

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kellyvela · 4 years ago

Note

There was one person who commented on grrm blog about Dany being their most hated character and hoping she would die. Grrm replied 'tsk tsk'. Do you know about that post?

This one?

The comment, now deleted, is from this post: Dany and the Dragons - Jul. 8th, 2013.

What about it? Is this about targies clinging to that "tsk tsk" for their lives?

I remember that the user belomor555 wrote that comment as an answer to another user mentioning them, as you can see here:

I like the conversation under grrm's comment, because those users didn't assume that George was saying he won't kill Dany:

We also know that when someone said to George that he’s not allowed to kill Dany, he answered that "Parris has proclaimed that Arya cannot die!" [Source]

Classic George!

But what is that "tsk tsk" compared to all this:

July 21, 2018

In the earlier published Targaryen family tree as found in The World of Ice & Fire, Princess Daenerys did not exist. In her place was Prince Aeryn Targaryen, Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s sixthborn son who died young. Besides Aeryn having been exchanged for Daenerys, several other children of Jaehaerys and Alysanne were shifted in their order of birth.

Regarding these changes, Elio Garcia has stated the following:

… George had some new ideas for some of the names and the stories of the children who died young, and corrected some issues that came out of his original birth order (we actually got the names of all the kids quite late in the production of TWoIaF—literally a month before we had to finalize the book—so there was not much time to interrogate it). However, the stories of those who live to adulthood, as published in TWoIaF, do remain the same (just, of course, much more detailed).

[Source]

November 20, 2018

Jaehaerys loved all three children fiercely, but from the moment Aemon was born, the king began to speak of him as his heir, to Queen Alysanne’s displeasure. “Daenerys is older,” she would remind His Grace. “She is first in line; she should be queen.” The king would never disagree, except to say, “She shall be queen, when she and Aemon marry. They will rule together, just as we have.” But Benifer could see that the king’s words did not entirely please the queen, as he noted in his letters.

(…)

It was the hour of the owl when Queen Alysanne was awoken by her daughter shaking her gently by the arm. “Mother,” Princess Daenerys said, “I’m cold.”

There is no need to dwell on all that followed. Daenerys Targaryen was the darling of the realm, and all that could be done for any man was done for her. There were prayers and poultices, hot soups and scalding baths, blankets and furs and hot stones, nettle tea. The princess was six, and years past being weaned, but a wet nurse was summoned, for there were some who believed that mother’s milk could cure the Shivers. Maesters came and went, septons and septas prayed, the king commanded that a hundred new ratcatchers be hired at once, and offered a silver stag for every dead rat, grey or black. Daenerys wanted her kitten, and her kitten was brought to her, though as her shivering grew more violent it squirmed from her grasp and scratched her hand. Near dawn, Jaehaerys bolted to his feet shouting that a dragon was needed, that his daughter must have a dragon, and ravens took wing for Dragonstone, instructing the Dragonkeepers there to bring a hatchling to the Red Keep at once.

None of it mattered. A day and a half after she had woken her mother from sleep complaining of feeling cold, the little princess was dead. The queen collapsed in the king’s arms, shaking so violently that some feared she had the Shivers too.”

—Fire & Blood - Volume I

May 19, 2019

Standing before the Iron Throne, Dany steps forward and kisses the man she loves. A perfect kiss, an expression of pure love and passion.

We push in on them until we’re tight on their faces – their eyes closed, his hand behind her head, her hand on his cheek.

Dany’s eyes open suddenly as she draws a sharp breath.

Jon’s eyes open as well, already filling with tears. For a moment, neither moves, as if moving will make this real.

In a wider angle, we see Jon with his hand still on the hilt of the dagger he just lodged in Dany’s heart.

Her strength leaves her and she collapses to the marble; he keeps her in his arms as she falls, kneeling down to the floor beside her.

He looks down at what he’s done. Terrible. And necessary. He hopes for one last moment with her.

But her eyes are already glazing over. Winter has come to the Throne Room. Dany lies dead in his arms, Pieta-style, as the snow drifts down.

—GAME OF THRONES “The Iron Throne” - Written by David Benioff & D.B. Weiss - Based on A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin

January 19, 2020

WELT: Again: We know what will happen to the Mother of Dragons. How do you want to surpass that in a novel – with an alternative literary version?

GRRM: Counter question: How many children did Scarlett O'Hara have? In Margaret Mitchell’s novel “Gone with the Wind” she had three children. But in the cinema version of the novels she only had one child. Which version is the only one valid - the one with one or the other with three children? The answer is: neither. Because Scarlett O'Hara never existed, she is a fictional character, not a real person, who would have had real children. Or take “The Little Mermaid”. We know her from the fairytale of the same name by Hans Christian Andersen and from the Disney movie. Which one is the true mermaid? Well, mermaids do not exist. So you can chose the version that you personally like the best. Changes are inevitable in this process. Even if the adaption is as faithful to the literary source material as it was the case with “Game of Thrones”.

—GEORGE R. R. MARTIN “Die Leute kennen ein Ende – nicht das Ende” - WELT 2020 - (Translation)

April 18, 2021

Q: It is my impression that there are parallels between Westeros history and current events in ASOIAF. so in your opinion to what degree is George martin’s history cyclical? Because we have a lot of parallels. For example with the current history and the dance of the dragons.

Elio: You know George even uses that line from talking about the the arms of house Toland, the dragon eating its tail, but it was from the Archmaester Rigney which is a reference to Robert Jordan the writer of the wheel of time, that history is a wheel or time as a circle. I think George certainly deliberately sees, creates parallels. I mean this is a very obvious example, you know if you read The World of Ice and Fire, you saw the family tree of the Targaryens, and the family tree for Jaehaerys and his offspring changes quite a lot when fire and blood comes out. Because George realized that he wanted to create a kind of parallel by introducing another Daenerys. and he said like, i like the symmetry of it, I like the the sort of the way. You could perhaps read it as reflecting on Daenerys’s story, maybe. I wish it was true. I mean I think fans of Daenerys need to be really worried about what’s going to happen to her. Although I guess Game of Thrones maybe has revealed kind of where things may possibly end. Again the journey is going to be very different. I think you know circumstances, things are going to be very different. So there’s a journey that matters. But in any case, so yes I think George uses cycles and things a bit. He likes setting up parallels of events, he likes paralleling characters, he likes paralleling events, and he likes paralleling the past and the present as well.

Linda: I think certainly that when he fleshed out the details of Fire and Blood, even when he first did the sidebars for The World of Ice and Fire, and they just grew. We could see that, okay here he’s looking at foreshadowing or commenting on current events by doing a similar scenario in the past and he definitely likes to play around with those aspects.

[Source]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#anon asks #targies gonna targ #tsk tsk #chronicle of a death foretold #grrm #daenerys targaryen

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jmnjmnjmn · 4 years ago

Text

Celebrity Crush| part 1 | BTS x Reader mini series

Pairing: BTS x Celebrity!Reader

Key words: celebrity crush, singer, idol.

Word count: around 8,000

Masterlist

Okay, this one is just regular fluff, but it definitely has potential to become more juicy, maybe even angsty... I had many ideas when I was writing it, but decided upon cutting it where I did. Maybe there will be part two to this story, maybe not. If there will be it will also probably be able to functionas a totaly separate one shot. Also I couldn’t decide on a ship here! Initially it was supposed to be RM, but I kept coming back to JK (my bias xd). That’s where possibility of an angst story lays... Anyway tell me what you think of this piece!

“AH!” Namjoon exclaimed, dropping his spoon down into his soup.

“Hey, watch it! You’re spilling everything!” Seokjin yelled back at him as some of his friend's soup splashed out from his bowl.

“What happened?” Hoseok asked, sipping his soup slowly and looking at Namjoon with curiosity.

“It’s-It’s (Y/N).” He stuttered out, his eyes still glued to the screen of his phone. He was scrolling through Twitter when he noticed a tweet from his favourite female artist, (Y/N), announcing her world wide tour.

“What? Did she message you?” Seokjin asked him with a chuckle, knowing well that wouldn’t happen.

“I wish.” Namjoon scoffed and clicked on a link to an article some music site posted immediately after reading (Y/N)’s tweet. “(Y/N) has announced details of her long-awaited world tour.” He read out loud to his friends already feeling his heartbeat pick up. “The singer has continuously updated her fans on the details, promising them that she was working on the announcement. Now, via a short video on Instagram simply captioned ‘Hello world’, she has finally revealed when and where the No Limitations tour will be starting off. You can see the full dates, which she simultaneously posted on her Twitter account, below.” He quickly scrolled down to take a look at the dates and locations. His jaw dropped as he scanned down the list and noticed the Asia leg of the tour. “Soul is on the list.” He muttered. “In January. Seoul is on the list.” He repeated looking at his friends with wide eyes.

“Finally!” Hoseok exclaimed reaching across the table to pat him on the shoulder. “You can go see her then.”

“It hasn’t been announced when tickets will go on sale.” Namjoon said in panic as he frantically searched the internet for information about the tour.

“I’m sure our staff can get you in there without a ticket.” Seokjin said casually, but Namjoon took the matter very seriously. (Y/N) wasn’t just someone who’s music he liked. He also had a huge crush on her as a girl in general and he wasn’t about to pass on an opportunity to see her perform live.

“I have to talk to our PD about that.” He said in an excited tone and clicked his Messages app to draft up a passionate yet professional text saying how much he wants, no, needs to go to (Y/N)’s Seoul concert.

“Now?” Seokjin asked, taken aback a little by his fast pace.

“No time to waste. It’s (Y/N) we’re talking about.” Namjoon chuckled. “If all goes well maybe we could work on some music together.”

“Yeah and maybe something more.” Hoseok teased him, earning a loud laugh from Seokjin. Namjoon only smiled up at them from his phone, because among those who followed the news about BTS it was a well known fact that he had a thing for (Y/N).

Whenever they would get asked about their celebrity crushes in interviews he would say (Y/N)’s name. Ideal girl - someone like (Y/N). A song they could listen to on loop - (Y/N)’s latest single. Fashion inspiration at the moment - (Y/N). Favourite movie - that one (Y/N) had a cameo in for like three minutes. It would happen so much that ARMY’s started making compilations of him talking about her on YouTube called “Namjoon drooling over (Y/N) for 7 minutes straight” and so on. At first he was embarrassed about it, but after some time that awkward feeling turned into hope that maybe she’ll see it and fall for him as well. He knew it was wishful thinking, but he still liked to imagine the moment you would message him saying you would love to collab on a song.

“I’m going to go talk to our PD.” Namjoon said, as he took off the bright pink sunglasses with Happy New Year written on top of them in a silly font. He wore them for the small photoshoot they just had for BTS’s New Year’s Eve post on Twitter.

“Now?” Jimin asked him, raising his brows. He was still wearing his party hat he put on for the session. “It’s New Year’s Eve.”

“I know. I just-” He was interrupted by Taehyung’s loud cheer. “I’ll be right back.” Jimin just shook his head at his eagerness to find out whether (Y/N)’s staff has already answered BigHit’s request for letting Namjoon go to your show with a backstage pass as a celebrity guest of sorts.

Since they were already at the BigHit headquarters for the photoshoot and a little celebration for the beginning of the new year Namjoon had to walk just a couple of doors down to get to PD’s office. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. After hearing a faint invitation he pressed on the handle and opened it.

“Oh, it’s you. Why aren’t you with the others celebrating?” The PD asked, obviously surprised to see Namjoon.

“Ah, yes. I’ll be joining them in a minute.” He said, remembering Jimin’s words. “I just came here to ask about the No Limitations show. It’s in January and since it’s already first of the month I wondered-”

“Ah, of course.” PD cut him off with a smile. “You're going.”

“Really?” Namjoon asked in shock.

“Yes, all of you are.” Namjoon must have looked very confused for a moment there, because PD rushed with an explanation. “We got an answer saying they were going to issue a formal invitation to the concert and an after party to the whole band anyway. Go and pass on the news to the rest of the boys. We’ll have a proper meeting about this next week.” Namjoon thanked him accesively and assured he’ll let the rest of the members know about the situation. As he walked down the hall he heard their voices from the dance studio they had the photo shoot in. He was speechless.

“It’s happening.” He thought, leaning on the wall to catch a breath before coming inside. After a moment he pushed the door open and joined his group members with a bright smile.

“Guys, guys. Listen” He called. “We’re going to (Y/N)’s concert!” He exclaimed and they cheered, gathering around him, smothering him with hugs and tugging on his cheeks teasingly.

“Look at him.” Jimin chuckled pointing at Namjoon who was pacing around the room. “So excited for the concert.”

“Of course he is. He’s going to meet his crush.” Seokjin added, also laughing.

The whole group was teasing him about (Y/N) all throughout January. It was seventeenth today, the day of her Seoul show and he couldn’t wait. They already got their hair and makeup done. They were dressed to the nines. All that was left was to get to the show.

“The car is here.” Someone from the staff announced and all the boys got up from their spots. As they walked down the hall together they all took turns patting Namjoon on the shoulder for encouragement.

“Do you think we’ll have a chance to talk to her?” Jungkook asked with excitement when they were all in the car together.

“Of course!” Hoseok exclaimed.

“No, but like, for real talk. Not just: nice to meet you, let’s take a picture, goodbye.” The youngest explained quickly.

“Hopefully.” Seokjin said, patting Namjoon on the thigh as that was something he was worried about. He would definitely be happy if he got even only a second with (Y/N), but he wished for more.

After a short drive the car stopped in an underground parking lot under the venue of the concert. As they got outside they could hear the cheers of the crowds gathered outside. Their staff took them on an elevator explaining once again how the night will go. First a before party with other guests, then the concert itself and after that the after party at a hotel. Namjoon repeated the sequence of these events in his head a million times already. Technically he was prepared, but practically he was a mess. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing like crazy. He looked around the small elevator at his closest friends and the familiar faces of BigHit staff who were accompanying them. Realising he has so many people around him for support eased his nerves a little.

“I can’t believe we’re in the same building.” Namjoon muttered under his breath.

“Yeah, she was also in the same building as us at the VMA’s and AMA’s and so on.” Yoongi teased him and everyone chuckled.

“That’s true, Namjoon.” Taehyung agreed with a grin. “You shouldn’t be so worried.”

“Easy for you to say.” Namjoon added right as the elevator door opened.

“Yeah, she already saw us perform at one of the award shows. She knows who we are. It’s going to be fine.” Jimin said in a nervous tone. Namjoon just nodded to himself trying to make the anxious thoughts go away as they approached the area where the before party was held.

They were all excited to see (Y/N)’s show and attend her after party, but with the tremendous enthusiasm also came the stress of meeting an A list celebrity from overseas.

“I can’t believe she’s still not here.” Namjoon whined to Taehyung and Jimin as the rest of the group scattered to chat with other invited idols and celebrities. “All the dancers and her band are here already.”

“It’s still early.” Taehyung tried to cheer him up. “She’ll show up any moment. I’m sure.”

“Definitely.” Jimin agreed with him energetically.

Before Namjoon could voice another concerned thought lingering in his brain everyone in the room started cheering and clapping. He looked around wondering what caused this reaction as he noticed the obvious reason.

“Thank you all so much for coming.” (Y/N) said stopping somewhere in the middle of the gathered crowd of celebrities and staff. “It means a lot. Really.” She put her hand to her chest as she spoke. “If all goes well the show will be starting in a couple of minutes. Wish me luck and have fun.”

“That’s it?” Taehyung asked as (Y/N) was rushed away by her staff to the stage entry. “I thought she was going to chat with everyone or something.”

“Do you chat with guests before the show?” Jimin asked. “That’s what the after party is for.” He explained and Namjoon hummed in agreement. Just the quick glimpse he caught of her was enough to leave him speechless.

“Let’s go watch the show.” Hoseok said approaching the three from behind with the rest of the group following close behind.

There was a big screen in the backstage lounge and a couple of smaller TV’s located at the stage entries for those that wanted to glance at the stage during the show to see the real deal. They watched the first half of the show in the lounge and later relocated to the left entry area. Namjoon’s eyes were glued to the screen as everyone around him chatted away. He tried to pay attention to the conversation and partake from time to time, but his focus quickly went back to (Y/N). She looked stunning singing and dancing on stage.

Suddenly a group of staff dressed in all black rushed into the area they were hanging out in with some other guests.

“Wardrobe change, left.” One of the staff said as she clicked on her earpiece.

Namjoon almost jumped out of his seat when he saw (Y/N) jogging down from the stage and into the swarm of her people from her team.

“Woah, that gave me chills.” Yoongi commented as (Y/N) passed by them surrounded by her wardrobe, hair and makeup team.

“Say something.” Hoseok whispered, elbowing Namjoon’s side.

“Like what?” He asked following (Y/N) with his gaze as she disappeared behind her dressing room's door.

“Great show, looking good. Anything really.” He encouraged him with a cheeky smile.

“No.” Namjoon shook his head, already feeling the blood rushing to his head.

“Do it. Do it.” The rest of the members repeated after Hoseok, but he only shook his head once again.

“She’ll come out any second.” Seokjin added in a warning tone.

He was right. The dance number performed by her backup dancers was getting to an end and (Y/N) should be running out onto the stage soon to sing the next song.

“Great show!” Jungkook yelled out in English.

All the boys’s heads snapped in his direction and then onto (Y/N). She was walking out of her dressing room in long strides. As Jungkook yelled out his praise she turned to look his way without stopping,

“Thank you!” She answered quickly before being escorted by her staff into the understage corridors.

All the boys started shoving and pushing the youngest member teasingly.

“Namjoon was supposed to say that. You took over his part. Jungkook, you’re so eager.” They yelled with laughter.

“What time is it?” Taehyung asked the group as most of the guests gathered in the backstage lounge to watch the encore of the show.

“It’s close to eleven.” Seokjin answered, looking at his phone.

“Before we finish off the show with this last song I just wanted to take a minute to say: Thank you so much.” (Y/N)’s voice echoed from the stage and through the speakers in the lounge. She was standing in the bright lights holding the mic to her lips. “Thank you for choosing to come see the show and spending the night here with us. I really can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for all of you, here in the audience and back at home watching and streaming my music and the shows. Thank you so much.”

“Ah, she’s so nice. Never forgetting about her fans.” People around muttered.

“I really, truly appreciate you guys. I cannot imagine how this year would’ve gone if I hadn't spent it with all of you, all of the people on the stage and behind it. We’ve been away from our homes for so long.” (Y/N) voice got higher with nerves and sadness that came over her as she spoke about her home. “We’re coming close to ten months on the road now. That’s a long time.” She said, bringing her hand to her chest to show her gratitude. “Thank you so much for putting up with me.” She chuckled and the staff cheered. “I feel so lucky and so fortunate to be working with all of you and to be able to perform in front of all of you.” She sighed deeply, undoubtedly masking a cry. “So thank you. I love you so much. Thank you.”

The audience was shouting and applauding loudly as (Y/N) walked off the stage waving to them. As soon as she was out of the view she handed her microphone to one of the sound people and took a big gulp of water from the bottle one of the staff handed her.

“Thank you.” She breathed out. “I need to get out of this hair as soon as possible.” She chuckled tiredly as she walked into her dressing room.

“We’ve got about twenty minutes to get you ready for the after party.” Her assistant, who was waiting inside, spoke calmly as the beauty and wardrobe team gathered around (Y/N) quickly taking out the bobby pins from her hair and undoing the back of her dress. “There’s quite a lot of guests your manager would like you to talk to, at least for a minute.” She said and quickly moved on to listing all the most important people attending the party.

“Have any of those people been informed that I might want to reach out to work with them later?” (Y/N) asked, getting into her oversized sweatshirt dress with the help of some staff so that she doesn’t ruin her makeup.

“No, that’ll be done after tonight. Sometime this week though.” She explained scrolling through something on her tablet.

“What time is the flight to Osaka tomorrow?” (Y/N)’s voice sounded tired as she thought of getting on another plane.

“Actually, there’s been a change of plans.” Her assistant said casually. “You got surprise booked for a daytime show tomorrow, so we’re staying in Seoul for that for the whole day and flying to Japan the next morning. The crew will be already there setting everything up for Saturday.”

“Two days in Seoul?” (Y/N) was surprised.

“Mhm.”

“What’s the show?”

“King of Masked Singer. You’re going to be the surprise opening act. I’ll fill you in on everything tomorrow morning.”

“Perfect.” She said smiling at herself in the mirror as the hairstylist was fixing up her hair.

“Heels or sneakers?” One of the wardrobe girls asked.

“Heels.” (Y/N) answered without hesitation. She wanted to look her best when surrounded with so many new faces at the after party and pairing sneakers with an oversized sweatshirt didn’t seem like the greatest combination for that.

“Ready.” The head stylist stated as one of the staff helped (Y/N) get into her thigh high booties.

From there, accompanied by security, (Y/N) and her assistant walked to the elevator that took them to the parking lot located under the venue.

As (Y/N)’s car pulled up in front of the hotel a swarm of fans and paparazzi started yelling out her name and waving to get her attention. She stopped to get her pictures taken, walked up to a couple of fans to sign their albums or pictures and walked inside to get to the after party. With her assistant following her every step and the three body guards right behind them she took yet another elevator to the hotel bar rented for the occasion.

“Let’s do this.” (Y/N) whispered to herself as she pushed the bar door open.

When she walked deeper into the crowded room random hands touched her shoulders and unknown voices spoke words of praise directed her way. She smiled and thanked the faceless mass making her way towards the DJ’s stand.

“That’s her.” Hoseok whispered as (Y/N) passed by the group of boys.

“Woah. She’s dressed cool.” Taehyung gasped, eying down her figure.

When she stepped onto the slightly elevated stage the DJ stopped the music and handed her a microphone. A wave of cheers erupted from the gathered guests as everyone noticed the star of the night had arrived.

“Hi.” (Y/N) spoke sweetly into the microphone and let the crowd yell or whistle back at her for a moment. “It’s so nice to see all of you here.” She chuckled. “Eat, drink, have fun. It’s all on me tonight. Just tonight.” She joked and the crowd clapped and yelled in excitement. “I know you all came here after the concert, but it’s not all about my music tonight.” Her tone turned mysterious all of a sudden. “It’s actually a very special day for someone else as well. A very funny guy, an inspiration in the studio, a dance mastermind and a dear friend and coworker of mine.” With every endearment term she listed the cheers got wilder. “Johnny Campbell. Where you at?” She asked looking around the room.

“Here!” Someone called out in the front of the room.

“Johnny, this is for you.” (Y/N) said in a low voice and started singing a very sexy adaptation of the birthday song.

As she finished someone in the crowd whistled and Johnny joined her on stage.

“Happy birthday Johnny.” (Y/N) finished off her wishes and hugged him tightly. “Let’s party, everyone!” She exclaimed into the microphone earning a loud cheer from everyone gathered at the bar.

(Y/N) made her way to the bar, stopping to chat and take a picture with someone every couple of steps. More than twenty minutes had passed from the moment she got off stage to when she finally got to the counter and grabbed herself a glass of expensive champagne. She sipped on the bubbly liquid and chatted to members of her dance crew. Looking around the room she locked eyes with a guy she recognised from somewhere. It took her a minute to realise it was BTS’s Jimin she was looking at. She smiled to herself, remembering that his group was on her manager’s to-talk-to list. Being halfway done with her drink she decided to down it and get another one before walking up to the group of boys.

“Oh my god.” Jimin exclaimed. “(Y/N) just looked here.”

“Where is she?” Namjoon asked, feeling his panic and excitement blur into one.

“At the bar.” He answered through gritted teeth.

“She’s coming here. She’s coming here.” Jungkook said quickly as (Y/N) made her way towards them.

“Hi, guys. I’m so glad you could make it.” She said in a sweet tone. “I’m (Y/N).”

“We know.” Jungkook blurted out which would normally earn him a shove to the shoulder from the older members, but the sound of (Y/N)’s chuckle at his comment made them relax and join her with nervous laughter. “I’m Jungkook.” He added extending his hand.

“I know.” (Y/N) answered with a smile and went for a hug and kiss on the cheek instead of a simple handshake.

“You know?” He asked in shock.

“Yes, I saw you guys perform at award shows, your music is everywhere. I know BTS.” The members smiled widely as she explained and started greeting the rest of them in the same way one by one. The hugs were quick, but still sincere. “I’m so happy you found time in your busy schedule to come see my show.”

“We wouldn’t miss it.” Namjoon said, trying to sound cool and collected. He wasn’t going to mention that he practically begged their PD to get them backstage.

“Oh, thank you.” She smiled and Namjoon’s knees almost went weak at the sight.

“Yes, great show.” Jungkook added and the group laughed.

“Oh, it was you.” (Y/N) also laughed realising it was Jungkook who yelled the words of praise her way halfway through the concert.

“Yes, I… Liked your dance with… By Your Side.” Jungkook said slowly making sure he picked the right words. “Great choreography.”

“Thank you.” She answered, bringing her hand to her chest as she accepted his compliment. “It’s nothing compared to your routines though. Those look hard.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you. We work hard. A lot of practice.” They muttered with modesty.

“Honestly!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “I was trying to learn the routine for your song with Halsey with my girls… So hard.”

“Boy With Luv?” Jimin raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but the foot choreo was killing me.” She complained jokingly.

“Hyung, ask her which member’s part she learned.” Jungkook asked Namjoon in Korean.

“He wants to know which member’s choreography you learned.” Namjoon explained.

“Yours,” (Y/N) pointed to Jungkook.

“Me?” He asked and she nodded energetically. “Hyung, say I can teach her the choreography.” He added in Korean with a wide smile, still shocked he’s talking to such a huge star. Namjoon and the rest of the boys laughed at the youngest member’s bluntness.

“He’s saying he’ll teach you.” Namjoon hurried with an explanation as (Y/N) looked confused by what they were laughing about.

“Watch out, ‘cause I’ll take you up on that offer.” She raised her brow at Jungkook cheekily who looked at Namjoon for a translation.

“She says she might take you up on that.” He translated to his friend and he laughed, feeling a blush creep up onto his face.

“I sang your song during soundcheck today.” (Y/N) stated and all the members raised their brows at her.

“Which one?” Jungkook asked.

��Sweet Night. V’s solo.” She said pointing to Taehyung. “It’s such a sweet song and you sound amazing in it.” She said, touching his shoulder.

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled, bowing to her slightly.

Not in many moments Namjoon was glad that his members couldn’t speak English as well as he did, but right now he couldn’t be happier about it. They were all so excited to be talking to (Y/N) they forgot their tongues. The alcoholic beverages that they already consumed didn’t help either. They asked him for translations every other sentence, meaning (Y/N) needed him to translate for her as well, meaning he was talking to her more than any other member, meaning she looked at him more than at any other member. Despite the language barrier the conversation flowed so easily between them. He felt ecstatic.

“(Y/N).” Her assistant called her name and brought her to the side for a moment.” It’s showtime.”

By saying “showtime” she meant that it’s time for (Y/N) to perform a song or two to entertain the guests and keep the party going.

“I’ll be right there.” She answered her and walked back to the group of boys.

“V, could I borrow you for a moment?” She asked with a sweet voice.

Unsure of what she might want from him, but still excited Taehyung followed (Y/N) into the bar.

“You said you love Underneath and know the lyrics by heart.” She said, glancing at him as they walked side by side through the crowded room filled with chatter and music. Taehyung hummed in agreement, feeling his heartbeat grow faster and faster. “You know them well enough to sing it live with me now?”

“What?” He asked, almost tripping over his own feet.

“I’m supposed to perform a couple of songs now. Would you like to perform one with me?” She asked stopping and looked him in the eyes with hope.

“Of course.” Taehyung answered, giving her his signature box smile.

“Great!” She exclaimed and grabbed his hand to lead him backstage. “This way.”

“Where do you think she took him?” Seokjin asked as (Y/N) disappeared with Taehyung in the crowd.

“I have no idea.” Namjoon answered, also curious about the whole ordeal.

“She’s very nice.” Jungkook commented.

“Yeah, nicer than I imagined.” Yoongi added.

“We have to get a picture together.” Hoseok said and the rest of the boys agreed.

“Look, there’s (Y/N).” Jimin pointed towards the stage where the DJ’s booth was located.

“Welcome to the stage, the one and only, (Y/N) and Korea’s very own, V of BTS!” Announced the DJ and all the boys’s jaws dropped to the floor.

“What?!” They screamed in unison.

“Hi.” (Y/N) said in a low voice. “V and I have a very special cover for you tonight. Please enjoy, Underneath.”

The rest of the members sang along to the fast paced pop song as V and (Y/N) performed. The lyrics talked about hidden feelings and the tension that can build up if you don’t give them a way out. Even though (Y/N) and Taehyung never sang together before their voices blended perfectly in the duet. When they finished their performance the crowd applauded loudly. (Y/N) put her arm behind Taehyung and he did the same. Joined in this side hug they bowed to the audience.

After a minute or two Taehyung got back to his friends with the widest smile on his face.

“Can you believe this?” He was still in shock.

“Congratulations. You were so good. Woah.” All the boys chattered at the same time.

“I recorded you.” Seokjin added as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. They gathered around the small screen watching Taehyung and (Y/N)’s performance once again.

“Where is she?” Namjoon asked Taehyung as the video came to an end.

“Last I saw her she was talking to MAMAMOO.”

“Ah, so cool. She’s probably busy. We didn’t even take a picture together.” The group chimed. After a moment of sulking they went back to obsessing over the fact that they met (Y/N) and that one of their own members sang with her.

Surrounded by music, food and alcohol the time seemed to fly by very fast. Accompanied by their staff they left the party around two in the morning without having a chance to talk to (Y/N) one more time.

Mornings after concerts are usually pretty bad for both the audience members and the performing artists, but mornings after concerts combined with after parties, meeting new people and mingling with every music producer possible are even harder.

(Y/N) woke up with a headache and a bitter taste in her mouth. From her bed she walked straight to the bathroom to take a shower. When brushing her teeth she scrolled through her Twitter feed reviewing every other caption or photo on the endless string of posts from last night she was tagged in. She liked a couple of tweets posted by her friends and was about to lock her phone when she noticed a simple caption.

“Great show #정국” (Y/N) pressed on the picture to see it whole. She immediately recognised Jungkook, one of the members of BTS, a band she met last night. He was standing in front of the big monitor backstage with her tour logo on it, making hearts with his fingers and smiling at the camera. She smiled to herself remembering how easily yesterday’s conversation flowed with the group of boys.

“Ah, I wish I had his number.” (Y/N) muttered. “I could take him up on that dance lesson offer.”

(Y/N) rushed to open her hotel room’s door to the room service. The hoteboy brought in the big breakfast she just ordered minutes ago and set it on the table. As she got ready to dig into the scrambled eggs her phone started vibrating. She looked at the called ID and quickly picked up as she saw it was her assistant calling. She gave her a quick rundown of the day’s events and informed her she’s free to rest and relax until three in the afternoon.

“That’s when they’ll pick us up for King of Masked Singer.” She finished explaining.

“I have one more question.” An interesting idea popped into (Y/N)’s head. “Is there a way you could get me the number of BTS’s Jungkook?”

(Y/N)’s phone chimed as she was finishing up her breakfast. She picked it up reading the message she just recieved.

“I got it.” As she read the message from her assistant another one appeared on the screen. This time it was a string of numbers.

“Ah, what should I say?” (Y/N) pasted the number into her contacts and waited a minute before pressing the dial button. The phone beeped a couple of times before going silent. Jungkook didn’t pick up. “Hm. Let’s try again.”

Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, Jungkook was hanging out with his friends in their shared apartment. He was typing something up on his phone when the screen lip up with an unfamiliar number.

“Hyung, do you know this number?” He showed the ringing screen to Taehyung sitting beside him on the couch.

“No. Pick up.” Jungkook just shook his head at his answer.

“I don’t pick up unknown callers.” He rejected the call and went back to what he was doing. “This person is calling again.”

“Pick up.” More preoccupied with switching through TV channels, Taehyung encouraged him tiredly. Jungkook swiped right to take the call and put it on speaker.

“Hello?” He asked in Korean.

“Ah- Hello.” Jungkook and Taehyung locked eyes in surprise and curiosity as the person on the other side spoke in English. “It’s (Y/N). From yesterday.” Taehyung almost screamed in shock. Jungkook felt all his blood rush to his head.

“Ah, sorry. Hello. Sorry.” He stumbled over his words, trying to explain why he didn’t answer her call at first ring. “I don’t pick up if I don’t know the number.” (Y/N) chuckled on the other end of the line.

“It’s fine.” Her voice was sweet and calm. “Actually, I’m calling, ‘cause I’m still in Seoul-” Taehyung stood up from the couch covering his mouth with his hands, still in deep shock. “-and I was wondering- I was thinking about what you said last night, so…” Jungkook scrunched his eyebrows, trying his hardest to remember what he said that made (Y/N) call him the next morning. “If you have time we could meet and dance together.” Taehyung gasped. “You could teach me the Boy With Luv choreo and-” Jungkook couldn’t control himself and answered her before she could even finish asking the question.

“Yes.” He blurted out. Taehyung jumped back on the couch and pushed his shoulder with a huge smile.

“Really?”

“Yes, yes.” He assured her.

“Should I come to your-” Eager to see her he cut her off again.

“You can come to our studio. I will text you the address.”

“Great. I’m free until three in the afternoon so text me the time as well.” She added.

“Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll see you there.” (Y/N) added after a moment of silence.

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“AH!” Jungkook threw his phone, which felt red hot in his hands right now, on the other side of the couch.

“What was that?!” Taehyung yelled, shaking on his shoulders. “How did she get your number?!”

“I have no idea!” Jungkook felt his body relax as he was no longer on the phone. “Oh my god. I have to text her now!” He reached to dig his phone out from under a stack of pillows and blankets on the couch. “And I have to go see her!”

“You’re doing great.” Jungkook praised (Y/N) with laughter as she jokingly overdid the moves and gestures in the choreography. “Like that.”

“Okay, but in all seriousness how did I do?” She asked, cutting the jokes short. Jungkook raised his thumbs up with a smile and she chuckled again.

“Let’s do it again and record it so we can review. You vs me.” He set his phone up on the floor by the mirrors in the studio space at BigHit.

“Teacher vs student.” Jungkook just hummed in agreement before playing the music.

Tired after practicing Boy With Luv for an hour and freestyling for almost two more (Y/N) and Jungkook sat down on the floor of the dance studio panting. She stood up to get herself some water and immediately regretted it.

“Ah, my legs.” Jungkook smiled at her words. Although (Y/N) danced in her music videos and during live performances her routines were far more relaxed that BTS’s regular dances. Their moves were sharp and strong and her’s more sexy and slow. Chucked her emptied water bottle back into her bag and turned to face Jungkook again. “Are you hungry?” He raised his brows, knowing what will come next if he says he is in fact hungry.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go eat something.” Her proposition was so blunt and free. He could not refuse her, but the excitement that filled his chest at that moment didn’t overshadow the fact that the rest of his group would be so bummed they didn’t get to eat with (Y/N) as well.

“Ah, can I do this to them?” He whined in Korean. (Y/N) gave him a confused look since she didn’t understand a word he just said. “My members will be jealous.” He explained with a slight smile.

“Oh, I didn’t think about that. Should we invite them?” That Jungkook wasn’t expecting.

“You want that?” He asked to make sure he didn’t just hear something wrong. (Y/N) smiled sincerely at his unsure expression.

“Yeah, why not?” Jungkook quickly got up from the ground and dug his phone up from his pocket.

“I’ll call them. Wait a second.”

“Okay.” (Y/N) answered as he walked out of the studio to call his friends.

Jungkook dialed Namjoon’s number, knowing he was at the apartment right now enjoying his day of rest. The line beeped a couple of times before he finally picked up.

“Hello?” His voice was low and sleepy in contrast with Jungkook’s, which was excited and fast paced.

“Hyung, listen. Get the rest of the guys and put me on speaker. I have something to tell all of you.”

“What is it?”

“Are they all there?”

“Wait a second.” Some shuffling and name calling was heard on the other side of the line before Namjoon spoke up again. “Okay, go.”

“So I’m with (Y/N) right now. We just got done dancing and all that and… She’s invited us all to lunch.”

“What? Oh, wow. Really? How cool.” The group erupted in chatter as they heard Jungkook’s news.

“Yeah. Can you come?”

“Of course. Yes. I can’t.” Another bundle of statements was heard.

“Who can’t?” Jungkook asked, saddened.

“Yoongi.” Seokjin said.

“I already have plans with our producers, but you all should go.” Yoongi explained, still encouraging the rest of the boys to go out.

“You sure?” Namjoon asked.

“Yes, go.”

“We’ll take a picture for you.” Hoseok joked.

“What are we going to eat?” Taehyung asked out of the blue.

“I don’t know.” Jungkook answered, not really having thought about that yet.

“Since we know Seoul maybe we should pick the place?” Seokjin proposed thoughtfully.

“Good idea. I’ll tell her that. When will you come here?”

“Thirty minutes? We need to get dressed.” Namjoon said and murmur of agreement was heard.

“Okay, okay. Don’t overdress though, we’re both in sweatpants.” Jungkook added with a chuckle. After exchanging goodbyes he hung up and sighed deeply, letting his shoulders relax a little before going back into the studio.

When he opened the door he saw (Y/N) stretching her legs in a sitting down position. He joined her on the floor before speaking.

As Taehyung pulled into BigHit’s parking lot Jungkook and (Y/N) were already waiting outside. Both dressed in large black puffer jackets going over their knees, they stood beside one another. Jungkook was looking over (Y/N)’s shoulder pointing to something on her phone.

“Now you can add a picture.” He said, swiping his finger on her screen. (Y/N) nodded and pressed on the camera option.

“Take a selfie with me.” She asked, raising her phone up to take a picture of the two of them.

Jungkook smiled shyly and pulled his mask down half way. (Y/N) did the same before snapping a cute picture to set as her contact photo. Jungkook quickly pulled his mask back up to cover his cheeks that started to turn bright red. He glanced over her shoulder as she manipulated the photo to fit both of their faces into the small square.

“And synchronise your contacts, so I will be there.” He added as she finally accepted the placement of the picture.

“Oh, great.”

“Yeah.” (Y/N) pressed on the ‘synch contacts’ button before looking up at Jungkook.

“Thank you.” She said sweetly and pulled her mask back over her nose.

“You’re welcome.”

Taehyung noticed the two of them standing in front of the building exit and slowly pulled up. As he got closer he rolled down his window.

“Hello!” The sudden greeting made them jump up slightly.

“Hi!” (Y/N) called back sweetly.

“Come in!” Shoulder to shoulder they walked towards the car after Taehyung's invitation.

Namjoon was already sitting in the passenger's seat making it so that Jungkook and (Y/N) had to sit together in the backseat.

“How was dance practice?” Namjoon asked them.

“What was it?” (Y/N) tapped Jungkook’s arm. He whispered something to her and she clapped her hands in realisation. “Daebak.” Namjoon and Taehyung laughed at her harsh pronunciation.

“It was good. Great.” Jungkook added after the chuckles died down. “Where are the other guys?” He asked Namjoon in Korean.

“The rest of the guys will meet us at the restaurant.” He explained in English, so (Y/N) could understand. She was still doing something on her phone when he glanced at her from the front seat.

“Jungkook.” Her shy tone echoed in the car. “I synced the contacts, but you’re not here.” She showed him her phone with a concerned expression. “Look.”

“Maybe I will just add my number like normal and then it will be saved in the contacts.” (Y/N) hummed in agreement, giving him her phone.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked in Korean, eying the two in the rearview mirror. Jungkook glanced at him, thanking god that (Y/N) doesn’t speak their language.

“I made (Y/N) a Kakao account.”

“And you’re putting your number in?” Taehyung continued in a teasing tone. Jungkook smiled at (Y/N)’s screen and typed in his ID.

“It’s not like that.”

The boys picked out a traditional korean diner with private rooms and floor level tables. They ordered mountains of meat to fry and tons of side dishes, soups and rice. At first (Y/N) widened her eyes at the amount of food concerned there will be leftovers, but within thirty or forty minutes she realised that those six boys’s stomachs can intake much more food that she can.

The conversation within the group flowed swiftly and comfortably as it did the night before. There even was some talk about possible musical collaborations. No one was looking at the clock, but at two o’clock sharp (Y/N)’s phone buzzed.

“Ah, it’s my assistant.” She announced with deep sorrow in her voice. “Unfortunately I will have to get going soon, guys. I have a TV appearance this evening.”

“TV today?” Seokjin asked in English. He seemed really shocked. When he spoke again he directed his words to Namjoon and spoke in Korean. “She shouldn't have eaten so much noodles and rice. She’ll be bloated and puffy. That’s very bad.”

“He says noodles and rice is bad for TV, ‘cause you might get puffy.” Namjoon explained to (Y/N) who just waved him off and chuckled.

“Ah, I’ll be wearing a big dress and a mask anyway.”

“What show are you on?” Namjoon asked, curiously.

“Something called King of Masked Singer.” The boys started talking over each other in Korean and patting Jungkook on the shoulders. After a moment of that Namjoon translated the jist of it to (Y/N).

“Yeah, so JK also was on that show.” (Y/N), who was sitting opposite to the youngest member of the group, looked up at him with a smile.

“Really?” She asked after swallowing another sip of hot soup. “What did they put you in? What costume?”

“I was…” He wanted to tell her everything in English, but was missing the most crucial word. “Hyung, how do you say fencer?” He asked Namjoon who looked confused for a second before answering him with a shrug. Jungkook reached to his pocket and pulled out his phone. “I’ll show you.” He typed the right words into YouTube and passed (Y/N) his phone. As soon as she looked at the moving screen she nodded in realisation.

“Ah, fencer.”

“Fencer, yes.” Namjoon agreed. (Y/N) skimmed through the video listening to Jungkook’s clear and beautiful vocals in the cover of BIGBANG’s If You.

“Woah, this is good.” She said, looking up at him.

“Thank you.” He accepted the compliment as she passed the phone back to him.

“You know what you will have?” Hoseok asked.

“What I’ll be dressed in? Yeah, I’m singing Beauty and the Beast, so I’ll be a princess.”

“Ah, cute.” Seokjin called out with a chuckle as (Y/N)’s phone buzzed once more.

“Ah, I really have to go.” She sighed deeply as the boys whined at her early leave. “I have to get myself intact before going to the studio.” She said gesturing to her laid back outfit. Since she was meeting Jungkook earlier for dance practice she was wearing a pair of branded sneakers, high waisted sweatpants and a hoodie - an outfit most of the boys in the room thought of as very pretty, but to her it was just workout gear.

“Do you need a ride?” Jungkook asked, all of a sudden realising she drove here with them and might not have a ride back to her hotel, but (Y/N) shook her head.

“No, my security is already parked outside.” The boys nodded at the professional sound of that statement. She was an A list celebrity after all and couldn’t just run around town by herself.

Everyone stood up from the table as (Y/N) slipped on her shoes and jacket.

“It was so nice to see you again.” Namjoon started as (Y/N) turned towards them before going out the door of the private dining room. She smiled sincerely and swung her backpack onto her shoulder.

“I’m so glad we got to hang out.” She looked at them with a shine in her eyes before going in for a hug with each of them. “And that we got to dance.” She added stopping in front of Jungkook. He smiled and chuckled as she hugged him goodbye.

“Yes. Me too.”

The group exchanged a couple more words of goodbye before (Y/N) walked towards the sliding door. As she was about to close it behind herself she slipped her face mask down and smiled at the group once more.

“Hopefully that’s not the last I see of you.” She added and the boys erupted with negating statements and chuckles.

420 notes · View notes

fa-by · 4 years ago

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Hello babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 I'm back with a new ‘Q&A’ post. Sorry, it took me longer than usual. I'll explain to you at the end of the post. For now, enjoy 🙃

I've already talked about it here, dear Anon, https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194553804881920/%C9%9F (first question) and then here https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194746313031680/%C9%9F (fifth question).

And who said I think Camila is a lesbian, dear? 😏 Maybe you mistaken me for some other blog? Because, I've never said that, dear. I've never been asked about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

You must be new to my blog if you're asking me this question, dear Anon. Welcome 🤗 and my answer is no, dear. Neither of them has ever cheated on the other. They're both way too loyal for that shit.

No, dear Anon. And always keep in mind that this is just my opinion and that therefore I could be wrong.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 First of all, thank you 🥺🥰 Thank you very much for your words, dear, you're super nice and I really appreciated it very much 🤗

As for stuck, we didn't fight or anything like that. I guess we just drifted apart 🤷🏻‍♀‍ even before she entered the Marvel world, but I can't tell you why she never liked and re-blogged my posts, dear 🤷🏻‍♀️

Let's call it my flaw if you want, but I don't like any posts myself (not even my girlfriend's), but that doesn't mean I don't like many posts I see. It's just the way I am 😅 I leave comments every now and then though 😅 And neither does it mean I wouldn't like to interact with you guys if you ever want to contact me or tag me or get me involved in something. It may not seem like it maybe because I don't re-blog and put likes around, but trust me, it's not like that.

Going back to stuck, I really can't tell you why. I mean, I'm not her so I can't answer you. Maybe you should ask her directly, dear. @stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland

I hope you have a very nice day too, dear Anon. Thank you so much again, and please, be sure to take care of yourself too 😘

Hello to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and don't thank me, dear 🙈 It's really a pleasure for me to interact with you guys and help you in any way I can 😊

So. Yeah, I think what you think, dear. Mila was definitely the one to make the first move, but as far as putting aside pride and the decision to give it another try, it was something they both did because they each had their own reasons. Remember, dear, there are two people in a couple.

Hey dear sneaky little one 👋🏼😄 I'm good. How are you? It's a pleasure, dear, you don't have to thank me for that 😊

I'm not sharing them with you guys yet just because they're personal observations that not everyone can agree on and, as you may have noticed, I like to tell you guys what I think with real facts that I can prove. In this case, it would be like in this picture:

I hope that with this example you understand better what I mean, dear sneaky little one. Come back any time you want and take care of yourself too 🤗😘

Hey dear Anon, why are you so down? 😟 Don't be 🤗 I know it's hard to think positively about them, but think about everything we've endured so far. Think about how strong we are. Whatever's thrown at us, it won't change our minds because we know the truth. Now, come on, dear, smile 😁 Enjoy the small wins instead of having them ruined for you by the possible eventuality of them doing something. And remember, we're in this together 💪🏼

I swear to you that when I saw it, I was like 📢🔊 Your loving takes me higher 🎵 You set my heart on fire🎵 When you touch my body got me singing like Mariah!!!! 🎵🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hello to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄

1) No, dear, you can't force something on someone who agreed to do things like this in the first place. I'll explain better. PRs are accepted by those directly involved, who then sign a contract. It's a commitment they're bound to respect from the moment they have accepted and signed the contract. If they don't respect it, they then have to pay the consequences (if you’re interested, I wrote a post about how PR relationships work here: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648193061847023616/pr-stunt-relationships-%C9%9F). I'll give you a silly example. Think of it as when one day you didn't want to go to school but you had to go anyway. It's pretty much the same dynamic because even if you didn't want to go that day, or several days, you knew you had to and you did. I hope it went well as an example 😆

2) Yes, but which of the two teams, well, that depends, dear. It depends on who's reaching whom and where. It depends on whether they're traveling together or not. And it depends on the purpose of that particular stunt, like if is some particular event or not.

3) No, dear, absolutely not, don't worry 🤣 Everyone has their own room. The rooms are very likely to be close together though, or at least on the same floor, that's for sure.

4) Yes, when possible, of course. The more people see the couple doing everything together, the more believable they seem.

Don't thank me, dear, it's really a pleasure 😊 Have a good day too ❤️

Not necessarily, dear Anon. Mila started work on her third album during the pandemic in her studio, so no one had to pay for her. Besides, when a contract expires and there's a re-sign, it doesn’t necessarily mean that an announcement will be made about it since the record label is still the same. Announcements are made if there's some kind of important addition, such as for example happened with 5H when they had to re-sign as a quartet for legal reasons with Syco/Epic, and it was only announced because of the addition of a contract with Sony Music as the sponsor for their last album.

Having said that: 1) Since her movie has been postponed again, I would say in 2022. 2) I really hope not because they would be really stupid to do it again. Plus, I don't think the PR will last until the released of her album. 3) I have to admit you made me giggle here, but no, dear 😂 don't worry. Producers, composers, songwriters, etc., work with a lot of different artists who have different styles. Mila’s nothing like Chimp, and she can’t do anything boring. It isn't in her blood. No pun intended at all there 😏🤣

Hi to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and you got it right, buddy! We think the same way!

They had gotten to a really bad point in their relationship. A point where they were no longer themselves, either in the couple or individually. For me, what happens in the Havana music video is what happened in reality as well. It was obviously told in an artistic and funny way there. Like the scene of Juan literally ‘coming out of the closet for her’ because he thought it was the best thing for their relationship. In that scene, he gets down on his knees to ask her to marry him, but in reality, at least for me, it represents December. It represents the ‘begging’ in a disguised and artistic soap opera way. It represents Lauren's last attempt to make things work between them. Which is related to the “You love me”, “I do love you. But I love me more” scene in which Camila leaves everything behind. And if you think about it, we can also find this connection somewhere else: 🎶 “Nobody talks about walking away when there's still love” 🎶. Always Love by Laur. Luckily, at the end of the video, she really is ‘took back to her Havana’ as it also happened in reality.

It's all connected, dear. There's a connection and an explanation for everything they do artistically. Just pay attention and you'll be able to connect the dots like you did in this case too. Give me a virtual high-five! 🖐🏼 And have a good day too, dear Anon ❤️

Hello to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Thank you very much, dear, and don't worry, I've been never asked that. So. Before answering your questions, let's take a look at the facts, okay? Especially for the baby Camren shippers.

Leilani is Dinah's aunt by marriage. She has always interacted with fans and we saw her in several videos even with Dinah herself, but the first time she showed herself to us as problematic was on July 18, 2016. Leilani tweeted an attack on Taylor Swift and apologized the next day by saying of having been hacked:

Yeah, suuure, because hackers around the world were waiting for nothing but hacking her 🙄 But let's move on. September 8, 2016, was the day Laur cried several times during the concert in Phoenix, Arizona. The next day, on the 9th, before the concert in Irvine, California, Laur tweeted to thank the concerned fans, and Leilani replied to the tweet by exposing L because of the ‘her’:

On December 21st, 2016, she did a live where she talked about Camren after fans asked her about it: https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qvandqF63c1ykfr3q.mp4 (I also put the sub in the video myself)

On January 8, 2017, she posted two Snapchat stories in which she spoke again about Camren with one of her nieces: https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qval74yFz61ykfr3q.mp4

On January 29, 2017, both Camila and Lauren blocked her on social media:

She continued to strike by attacking Camila months later. On July 13, 2017, the same day the 5H interview with Billboard came out, Leilani attacked her by basically calling her a whore. Tweet to which C replied with suspense dots and a Rihanna GIF:

On December 5, 2017, Camila posted the album cover and title by saying that the pre-order would've been possible from the 7th. Because of the album cover picture, Leilani attacked with the first tweet on December 5th, and continued on the 6th:

Then nothing else problematic.

Yes, of course she knew about Camren. All the people close to them know about Camren. Leilani has always been a person who likes attention. She has always liked to show off and be noisy and messy in doing so. It didn't matter how ridiculous she was or that her actions fell upon her niece. The fact that she seemed to be joking and that she was always so evasive and confusing on the subject, is because she herself knew she was going to pay the consequences. She could never have said “yes, they're real” and stick to it. Also because the one who would've paid the most consequences would've been Dinah. You know, being her aunt, it was like her responsibility. And I think D really paid the consequences for something she didn't do. At least, before the sharks took the reins and told her what to do (Leilani through Dinah). It’s happened to a lot of people close to them to get involved over the years. It has been noticed a lot more from 2015 onwards, but especially in 2017 to increase the story of the fake feud between the girls.

So basically, yeah, she was problematic and loud and messy and all of that, but for the most part, she was just following the script.

Hi to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 welcome and thank you very much 🙃 My answer to your question is yes, they've been for a long time by then. You'll find more details on all of that dynamic below in the next ask, dear.

Kinda? 🤣 Okay, let me explain, dear Anon. There was no cheating if this is what you thought with my first answer. But let's go in order. I'll shed some light on the story with Luis once and for all.

Luis Santos' first appearance for us was on January 13, 2013 when Laur posted this picture on IG:

One year later exactly, on January 13, 2014, L posted this picture:

Then we have the one on February 24th (when the girls arrived in Miami because they had three dates in Florida for The Neon Lights Tour) and those of February 25th, 2014 after the concert (posted the day after):

We have the one of April 13, 2014:

The prom ones of May 17, 2014, which were the last pictures with Luis that Laur posted:

And lastly, we have Laur’s birthday one posted by Luis:

The latter lets us understand that their story officially began on January 27, 2014. We don't know when it ended exactly (let's suppose at the beginning of July) because we only had confirmation of it in August thanks to the explanation that Clara gave for that fake scandal:

Now. This is the official story. The one we should’ve bought. But let me show you the behind the scenes. This is Melanie Mueller, Luis's ex:

Luis was in a relationship with Melanie from early August (unfortunately, Luis and Melanie's profiles are all private, but not Melanie's old Twitter) until, according to the narrative, late November 2013:

And this is where the juicy stuff begins. Luis stated that he and Mel were no longer together:

The date coincidentally matches the beginning of his relationship with Lauren on January 27, 2014, right? Right. So how do you explain the fact that Luis and Mel were on a romantic date exactly 13 days after he said they weren't together anymore?

As you can see from the date, it was February, and weren't Lauren and Luis already together since January 27th? 😏 The funny thing is that they kept interacting and taking pictures together:

And then there's the best part. The Camren shippers went wild that year in replacing Luis's face with Camila's twice. The first one with the prom picture 🤣:

And the second one with April picture. Sorry, I really tried but I couldn't find the original manip. But don't worry, I have two better things 😏:

Ohh, I think we know, Mel 😎

And how can we forget one of the many things that remained in the fandom's history and which coincidentally happened just in February a week before the picture of Luis and Melanie's romantic date:

Now that I've given you proofs, it's theory time. We know about the friendship with benefits, the Like Friends Do situation that Camren had, and we know that Lauren was in denial. Luis was a shield. Her shield, especially for the public. It wasn't a PR created by the labels, but by Lauren herself. Laur and Luis were friends, and I mean, they still have been for years. Laur simply asked him for a favor and he accepted. Laur stayed in Miami throughout the Christmas period until the first week of January 2014 before flying to L.A. with the girls. It was then, in that time spent at home that she asked him, and despite knowing the risks, despite knowing he would face fans' hatred, and despite having a girlfriend, Luis agreed to be the fake boyfriend just to help his friend in need. I don't think she told him the real reason behind it right away, but she definitely told him once she and Mila finally got together. Laur came out to her family in early 2015, but it doen't mean she didn't to her friends before. Especially once she and Mila became official in April 2014.

So, dear Anon, yes, in a way, Lauren was with Camila and Luis, but in reality, she was never with Luis.

Hi to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Thank you very much, dear, and that's okay. I don't mind helping when and if I can. It's not a problem at all for me 😊

So, as far as Lolo's situation is concerned, I honestly think Columbia has very little to do with her situation. I mean, Columbia is the biggest record label under Sony Music and has always had a lot of successful artists. From the great names that have made history to the most recent but still famous ones: Michael Jackson, Freddie Mercury, Aretha Franklin, Frank Sinatra, David Bowie, Bob Dylan, Celine Dion, Paul McCartney, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Jay Z, Adele, Alicia Keys, Ricky Martin, Pharrell Williams, Robbie Williams, Katy Perry, Shakira, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, Diplo, OneRepublic (Ryan Tedder), Miley Cyrus, Harry Styles, Zain Malik, Little Mix, Calvin Harris, BTS, Lil Nas X, Meghan Trainor, etc., etc., etc. Believe me, there are really, but really many names that I haven't put in this list.

The purpose of a record label is to make money. To do that, the label finds an artist. The label decides if it's worthwhile for them to sign the artist by investing and advancing the money on them, and if the label believes they can make money with their music, then they don't think twice before signing them. So they invest in the artist, develop them, promote them through the artist's team, and distributes their music in exchange for a percentage of the revenues. If things go smoothly and well, there's a gain, but if things go wrong, the label loses money. [If you want to know more about how the music world works and what the girls had to go through, I wrote a post about it here: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648192055443619840/how-the-music-world-works]

Now, what did I mean by that? As I said before, Columbia is the number one, the biggest and most important umbrella music label under Sony Music Entertainment. So why on earth would a label as big as Columbia Records have signed Lauren and invested in her, but then thwart her and lose a lot of the money they invested themselves? It wouldn't make any sense because it would be like self sabotaging themselves! And what did I say is the purpose of a record label? To make money. Don't be fooled by anyone about it, dear.

I could have understood if this had been an isolated case; if Laur had been the only one among the girls (LAND) who hadn't released an album. But it's not like that. Something, and I'm 100% convinced it's something from their old contracts, has held all four of them up until now. We'll see, dear Anon. Sooner or later, the truth will come out because it always does. Even if it takes years.

Don't apologize, dear, really 😊 Hope things are great with you too and please, take care of yourself too 🤗

Hey to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄

Nada is a song that is part of Tainy's EP called Neon16 Tape: The Kids That Grew Up on Reggaeton, and it's about how two people in an unofficial relationship want completely different things. The guy doesn't want anything serious unlike the girl.

Now. I understand why you're confused, dear. After reading the lyrics and thinking about Camren, you've surely wondered “Where the fuck is Camila in all of this? But does it have something to do with her, or not?”. Well the answer is no. You see, dear, we're used to hearing a lot more Mila's songs than Laur's. When Mila writes, she writes for herself. She writes from her point of view and according to her experiences. Same thing Laur does. But Mila, unlike Laur, can't write a song for other people. She can't detach herself from them when she's writing them. Take as examples all those songs she gave away after finishing them, like Anyone or Ain't Easy. When you listen to them, you can clearly hear Camila all over it even if the song is being sung by someone else, like in these two examples, Justin Bieber and Elijah Woods. But with Laur? Nah, because Lauren can completely detach herself from them.

Take More Than That as an example. Laur didn't write More Than That for herself; she just ‘decided’ to keep it (because it was okay for the narrative she had going on at the time). If she had really given it to someone else and then you had listened to it and knew she was the one who had written it, you would've thought “Really?” with a wtf expression as the first thing. Right? Because you recognize Laur in the song only because you know she's behind it. Am I wrong? And don't get me wrong, dear, this is not by all means a bad thing at all. I'm not saying this as an insult or anything. Quite the opposite actually. I think it's absolutely amazing. Think about it. It's basically the work of songwriters and ghostwriters who only work behind the scenes for other artists. Gosh, they're both so fucking talented 😍

Anyway. What was I getting at with this? To the fact that the same thing happened here with Nada. Nada was written by four songwriters and we have two different points of view to represent the couple in the story. The one of the girls, Laur and Cris Chil (she also worked and wrote with her for Lento), and the one of the boys, C. Tangana and Tainy (like Cris, he wrote with her and produced Lento). Now. I can't tell you who the real protagonist behind the story of the song is because none of them said it, but it's definitely not Lauren. Laur just went with the flow.

Before starting, I would like to also publicly thank my girl @romanticentropy for helping me with the translation (her first language is Spanish), so thank you again, my love 🥰 And I'm not talking about the literal translation. I'm talking about the real meaning behind it since the meaning of many sentences or words can change even based on a simple comma. Therefore, here below you'll find the real translation along with notes placed in parentheses with various explanations. I don't know if you speak Spanish, dear Anon, but we did this for all those people here who don't speak it so that everyone can understand the true meaning of the song.

That said, let's get started.

Verse 1:

“Como te arrimes sí te voy a dar

If you dare come close, I’ll give you [implied: my dick]

Me he puesto guapo pa' verte pasar (Yeah)

I got myself all dressed up to watch you go by (Yeah)

No me pregunte', no quiero pensar

Don't ask me, I don't want to think

No tengo tiempo, no me pue'o casar

I don't have time, I can't get married

Pero, puedo quererte de nuevo

But, I can love you again

Dejar todo el resto pa' luego

[implied because the two sentences go together: And] leave everything else for later

Quedarme pa' ti, que más quieres de mí

To stay for you, what else do you want from me

No odies al jugador odia al juego

Don't hate the player, hate the game

Yo no me he inventado na' (Qué va)

I didn't make anything up (Not at all / Of course not) [‘Qué va’ is an expression, particularly from Spain, that means something like ‘How could you have thought that? Of course not’ said in a casual tone. So, ‘not at all’ is a possible interpretation because he's reassuring he really didn't make anything up]

Sobrevivo en la ciudad (¿Qué?)

I survive in the city (What?)

Me la busco pa' ganar, cien monedas pa' gastar

I'm looking to earn, a hundred dollars to spend [In this sentence, the comma is very important because in ‘me la busco pa' ganar’ read alone, it means that he's finding his ways to earn a living or a better life. When you add ‘cien monedas pa' gastar’, it extends to ‘he's finding his way to earn $100 to spend’, but the comma is important because it keeps alive the idea that he's not only working for the 100 dollars, but also for a better life (possibly a rich kind of life, but that's not necessarily implied)]

Una cama pa' dormir, y un yate pa' vacilar

A bed to sleep in, and a yacht to show off on”

What do we understand from this? That he's actually the one who doesn't want to have a serious relationship because his goal for the moment is to earn and live a good life, not to settle down and get married.

Pre-Chorus:

“Tú ya sabías to' lo que había

You already knew what to expect / You already knew what the situation was

No me hagas cambiar, vida mía

Don't make me change, my darling [He sings ‘vida mía’, which means ‘my life’. Calling someone ‘my life’ is not used in English because it makes no sense in the definition of the language itself. So, in this case, it's translated and used as a loving nickname. As you could call someone ‘my love’, ‘my heart’, ‘my baby’, or ‘my darling’]

Yo te doy hasta que se haga de día

I'll give you until it's daylight

Yo te doy hasta que se haga de día

I'll give you until it's daylight [‘Darle a alguien’, ‘to give to someone’ in Spanish has a sexual connotation. It means you're going to have sex with that person. It’s especially used from a male point of view; particularly this last line, he means he'd have sex with her all night until it's day again]”

He basically tells her: “You knew I'm an asshole. Don't try to change me because it's useless. The only thing I can give you is whole nights of sex”.

Chorus:

Sigue' dándome na', dándome nada

You keep giving me nothing, giving me nothing

Can't keep up with your vibe

'Cause you're up and you're down, 'round and you're 'round, babe

I can not read your mind

Conté lo' día' pa' volverte a ver

I counted the days to see you again

Y tú ni sabe' qué quiere' hacer

And you don't even know what you want to do

Cuando me vaya no voy a volver

When I leave I won’t come back

Sigue' dándome na', dándome nada

You keep giving me nothing, giving me nothing”

This is an ultimatum. “If you keep giving me nothing for much longer, I'll leave you without looking back”.

Verse 2:

“Yo no estoy para regalarte

I'm not here to please you [The literal translation of that is ‘I'm not here to give you’. The incomplete sentence opens an ambiguity where you don't know if she’s saying ‘I'm not here to give you anything’, or ‘I'm not here to give you things’, or ‘I'm not here to fulfill your wishes’, or ‘I'm not here to please you’, or things like that that make you understand that if he's not ready to pay attention to her right now and give her the love she needs, and he's clearly not because he's ‘giving her nothing’, she's not just going to wait there by begging for some love or collecting the crumbs that he leaves behind. She's saying “give me the love and the attention I need or I'll go away on my own”. So overall, ‘I'm not here to please you’ is a decent interpretation]

Ni tampoco para esperarte

Nor to wait for you

Ese dinero no te va a cuidar

That money won’t take care of you

No te pido matrimonio, yo sólo tu arte

I'm not asking you to marry me, just your love [That's the real meaning behind the sentence despite the literal translation being this: I'm not asking you to marry me, just your art]

Cuando no estoy ahí

When I'm not there

Sé que preguntas por mí

I know you ask about me

Sé por qué eres así

I know why you're like this

I know you're afraid of falling in too deep

We can pretend like we’ve only done this for the fun of it

Pero no te sorprendas si te enteras que así como tú hay mil

But don't be surprised to find out there are a thousand just like you around”

Basically: “I'm not asking you to marry me, just to have a real relationship. An exclusive relationship. We can continue to pretend that we just had fun, but I know there's something deeper. I know you're afraid of falling in love with me, but if you keep wanting this kind of relationship, then I'm gonna go find someone who wants the same things as me; also because there are a lot of guys out there and I'm starting to get tired of waiting”.

And that's all, dear Anon. Now that you know the real translation *thanks once again, mi amor 💖* , can you see anything that has to do with Mila? Because I don't. In fact, if I really have to find an association with Camren, the only thing that comes to my mind is that Lauren could have written some parts of her verse from Camila's point of view when they were still just fuckbuddies. You know? Since it was Laur who was initially in denial and was afraid, and not Camila. She was the one who was afraid of the idea of even liking Mila, let alone falling in too deep. But it's not like that. There's nothing of Camila here. There's no Camren here. For me, this song is the story of one of the three (Cris Chil, or C. Tangana, or Tainy) and Laur only contributed to it with her talent.

Of course I can, dear Anon 😉

So. Camila created In the Dark the day after going to the Grammys' after-party (February 12, 2017) with which she went with Ashlee as her date of hers. Mila said she got the idea for the song because of the encounter she had at that party with this unnamed famous guy. Yeah, sure, Jan. We know very well that this is not the case. Just as we know very well that that was the same night in which Tyren had their first public appearance as a fake couple. If you're interested, I've already explained all this also with proofs in my previous post: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/653296412485894144/romanticentropy-fa-by-hiiii-babies-and-dear (last question in my All These Years' interpretation).

If you don't mind, dear Anon, I'll start with the verses because they're the only parts of the song where Mila isn't addressing Lauren directly. In the verses, Camila just observes her by describing their surroundings.

Verse 1:

“Blank stares, faithless

Vampires at the same places

Shadows, traces”

Okay, let's talk about those types of parties for a moment. I bet that when you think about it, you picture a lot of celebrities having fun and dancing, glam, alcohol, drugs, music, and all those kinds of things, right? Well, that's just as true as it isn't. You see, there aren't just celebrities at those parties. There are one or more of they team members, there are A&R representatives of various labels, CEOs, publicists, producers, marketing representatives, radio and television presenters, reporters, designers, advertisers, etc., etc., etc. Those parties are the epicenter of business-talk. Very often, this is where ideas for collaborations, for PRs, for endorsements and sponsorships, for movie and TV appearances, etc., etc., happen. For those celebrities who have to be there for business reasons and not for actually having fun, those parties are pretty boring.

With those sentences, Mila describes all the people around her during that party. Those people who aren't having fun because they're surrounded by what she calls vampires. Before they marketed them by making them sparkle in the sun because of the crystals on their skin, or before they made them wear a gemstone in daylight rings, bracelets, and amulets to make them walk in the sun, you know? Before they become basically trendy, vampires were always the villains. But don't get me wrong with that. I saw the Twilight saga and I love love love The Vampire Diaries, but the fact remains that before all of that franchise, vampires have always been used in horror and scary genres because they're evil. Also because if you think about it, what do vampires do? They suck blood by basically feeding on the life force of creatures by draining them to survive and not decompose since they're undead. They need to take a life to keep living theirs, so yeah, they are the bad guys.

So Mila here describes both the bored people, the ones with blank stares who in those cases are the shadows of their true selves because they're pretending to be who they aren't, and those people of power as bloodsuckers, life-suckers: vampires. And I don't blame her at all because that's what they do. Vampires, or puppet masters, or parasites, or as you guys know I like to call them: sharks.

“I know that you feel me”

Now. Now, now, now, now, now, now. What does this sentence make us understand? Picture you're in a place full of people. Picture pretending that you're having fun because you can't show how much you actually want to be somewhere else. Picture smiling and forcibly laughing at the bullshit someone's saying. It's all about image. Now picture seeing someone you know amidst that sea of people. You and this person are far from each other, and at the moment, you both are busy talking to other people. Even though you turned around to keep having this oh so great conversation with those people, you can feel the person you know. You can feel their presence despite being on opposite sides. You can totally feel that they're still looking at you, and you have confirmation of that the moment you turn towards them again.

Apply all of this on Camren now. We know how they've always attracted each other. We know how they've always searched and checked each other when they were on opposite sides of a room. We know how they've always felt each other. So it's not that hard for me to picture how it went in this case. I understand what Mila means when she says she knows Laur could feel her despite the place and all the people around them. Because it's always been that way between them, and we've actually seen them do it many times.

Verse 2:

“Plus one, guest list

But you don't even know what her name is

Secrets, endless

I know that you feel me”

This is a repetition similar to the first verse. Mila here continues to describe the people around her and those around Laur. People who are there because they're on a list thanks to someone they don't even really know. People who in those events become totally fake because they all have secrets to hide, including the two of them. People who pretend to be friends with each other just for a matter of image without even knowing their real names, their real selves. People who are so used to wearing a mask that they've by now become that mask. And among all the sea of these people, Mila knows that Laur can feel her. Evidently as much as she can feel Laur.

Refrain:

“You’re runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin' (oh)

Making the rounds with all your fake friends”

As I said before, many celebrities wear a mask, this facade for protection. They do it to show themselves as unproblematic and to show themselves almost as perfect in the eyes of others. If you think about it, it's the same thing we see in many celebrities and even in Camren when they have to promote something. Neither of the two of them has problems showing themselves to us in a vulnerable, authentic way, without make-up ‘al natural’. But as soon as they have to promote something, bam! Dresses, nails done, make-up, and hair. It's quite normal on the one hand. I understand that. But the problem, as Mila herself said, is when this fake persona takes over your authentic self.

In this part, Mila explains how she was observing Lauren's behavior. This facade that she was wearing because they were in that kind of environment with those kinds of people and those fake friends (yes, including Tabloid). This mirage that allowed her to run and hide her true self from everyone, even from Camila herself.

“Runnin', runnin' away from it (away)”

Especially in this part, and despite having seen her fake act many times before, Mila lets us understand how Lauren was 'running' and suppressing/hiding her authentic self in front of everyone. [I remember that period. Lauren didn't act like Lauren for a while]

You can strip down without showing skin, now”

Okay, this? This sentence right here, it's magic. It's pure art. “It's okay to show the realistic side of yourself without exposing yourself and also having to show your secrets or what you want to keep to yourself. There's no need to act like a completely different person from who you are”. Camila leaves me more and more speechless with her way of writing and expressing such true and profound concepts.

Pre-Chorus:

“I can see you're scared of your emotions

I can see you're hoping, you're not hopeless

So why can't you show me?

Why can't you show me?

I can see you're looking for distractions

I can see you're tired of the acting

So why can't you show me?”

The pre-chorus explains itself quite well. Mila's saying “I know you. I see what you're doing. I see your fear. I see the way you want a way out. I see how tired you are of this farce. So why are you faking it? Why are you faking it in front of me? Why are you faking it with me? Show me the real Lauren. Not this industry puppet. Show me the Lauren I know”.

Chorus:

“Who are you in the dark? (I, I)

Show me the scary parts (I, I)

Who are you when it's 3AM and you're all alone

And L.A. doesn't feel like home? (I, I, I)

Who are you in the dark?”

Who are you in the dark? = Who are you when no one's watching. Who are you when no one can judge you. Who are you when you're alone and you can really lower that protective barrier you create around you. Show me that. Show me all of you.

Camila mentions 3AM because, as we well know thanks to their other songs, it was the nighttime hours when they were able to spend more time together freely. She also mentions L.A. to make a comparison with Miami since Los Angeles is the second city they spend the most time in due to their careers.

If in the pre-chorus Mila really asks her to show her her true self, here in the chorus she instead asks her a rhetorical question accompanied by the explanations themselves like the specific examples 3AM and L.A. to make/show her point even more. Basically the same explanation as the pre-chorus: “Who are you, because I know, I know you, so why don't you show me?”. And I really love this connection between pre-chorus and chorus.

Bridge:

“Darling, come on and let me in

Darling, all of the strangers are gone, they're gone

I said, darling, come on and let me see”

The difference between the pre-chorus & chorus and this, is the more affectionate way she addresses her. She's asking her in a cute way also thanks to the use of that classic old-school pet name, to open up and show herself. She's telling her that it's okay now that they're alone. And most importantly, she's reassuring her with this:

“Darling, I promise that I won't run”

After hurting each other, after the omissions and the secrets, after the fights, after the non-communication, after that toxicity, in short, after everything they'd been through in those years and the way things had ended between them almost two months prior, this is really serious. She's promising her that she'll stay. That's the first step, or at least what we know was the first step thanks to this song, towards a healthy relationship and towards a real positive change in their relationship.

And by the way, wooohh, this whole transition is amazing!

Outro:

“Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

Who are you in the dark?

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

Who are you in the dark?

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

Who are you in the dark?

Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah

Who are you in the dark?”

And that's all, dear Anon. I hope you liked my interpretation 🙃

P.S. When Sinu said “Number nine is my shit!” during that live, I felt that. Mama Sinu was right. Even after all this time, this song is still the shit 😎

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👩🏻‍💻 I hope I was helpful in this case too 😄 Thank you all for your asks and as usual, know that I'm available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊

Before I go, I wanted to apologize for this huge delay. In addition to my job, it was due to the fact that I'm in the middle of a relocation. For about two months for 21 years, I always go to a place by the sea for the summer. I'll be there from today and I'll be back in September. Unfortunately there isn't much connection there, but there's a single wi-fi. I don't know if I'll continue to answer the asks all together with a post or individually. I'll see how to organize myself once I'm there. I apologize in advance if I'll take longer than usual to reply, but at least you know that it's because there's not much connection there (and you have to keep in mind that I’ll continue working normally because I’m not on holiday yet). Everything will be back to normal in September.

That being said, always remember to be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼 Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

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tainted-harmon · 4 years ago

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|Personal Post|

I never talk much about personal stuff here, although I have mentioned in the past that when I was 16 I had a short stay in a mental health unit for several overdoses. There were a lot of reasons for my depression (some are private and involve a traumatic event around age 6), but also my stillborn brother was a big reason too. I was diagnosed in 2013 with BPD (which I disagree with and think it’s a load of BS and I’m currently waiting for an autism assessment)

..But one thing I’ve never talked about is that I’ve been diagnosed since I was 14 with an Eating Disorder, and have spent most of my adulthood so far still being “treated”. They change the diagnosis all the time; anorexia, bulimia, anorexia again, EDNOS.. But it doesn’t matter what they want to call it because one thing that NEVER changes is the torture it causes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I want to talk about this issue because I am now 26 and it still continues to ruin my life and control my life daily. And I see so many people on social media, mostly teens promoting eating disordered behaviour and it makes me so angry.

Everyone has things they aren’t happy about, some people worry more about their body image. And I hate to be that annoying 26 year old but it’s true that everything is so much more intense when you’re a teen. You feel so much pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, it’s such a self conscious time. But there’s a huge difference between that and having an eating disorder..

Eating disorders are NOT cool, they aren’t something you choose because you saw on social media. Skipping a few meals one month doesn’t mean you have an ED. And most people with eating disorders suffer for decades, and many others battle this illness their whole life. They rarely recover after a few years. Anorexia is not wanting to be deliberately skinny or skeletal, the main aspect is having a fear of weight gain that is so overwhelming you are terrified of gaining weight and will go to extremes to avoid weight gain. It’s literally like having the devil on your shoulder telling you you’re worthless if you eat, but it’s your own mind telling you.

At my worst (in my teens) I didn’t brush my teeth with toothpaste for over a month because I was scared of the sugar. I still to this day won’t take syrup medicines because of the sugar in it. That’s how irrational an eating disorder makes you. It goes beyond body checking, weight checking, etc. I even at one point was conviced water had sugar in it too.

First I want to say, if anyone is struggling with their body image, weight, food then I would always talk to anyone, even if it hasn’t escalated to the point where you have an eating disorder etc. But do NOT promote eating disorders on your social media. It’s irresponsible to share anything that glorifies/promotes starvation, purging, laxatives or any other ED behaviour, including images of emaciated women. That could be seen by someone who is already struggling/trying to recover from an ED and set them back. I sometimes share depressing quotes or whatever on my personal blog, but I’m not talking here about sharing movie gifs or clips of actors, I’m talking about real photos of people who are blatantly unwell. It’s sick that anyone would even share that stuff. That is a real human being who is suffering. Someone’s child, brother or sister.

When I developed my eating disorder in 2009, I didn’t use tumblr or go on sites likes this, I was never exposed to Pro Ana/Mia content/knew what it was. I developed an eating disorder because it’s an illness and NOT a choice. Whenever I see these sort of accounts trying to follow me on here, they instantly get blocked and reported. I last got discharged from eating disorder services in 2018, and in January this year I got referred back as an urgent referral. I cannot stress how dangerous it is for people to share this crap. Many times I have seen this stuff shared on my feed and it’s really been hard for me. I wish people would stop and think about the domino effect it has.

Can I also add, Anorexia Nervosa has the highest mortality rate out of all mental illnesses, from both physical effects and suicide. When you reblog that sort of stuff you could be indirectly contributing to someone’s death. If you are struggling, speak to someone. Even if it’s someone online.

I found a letter I had to write in one of my many Eating Disorder treatments. Not showing all of it as it’s very long. I wrote a poem when I was 15 that must be lying around somewhere, although I’m not ready to read that myself yet.

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kyotakumrau · 4 years ago

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2020.12.18 The World You Live In at Zepp Namba, 1st event report

I arrived with friends past 1:15 (door time), but lettings fans in here was very smooth. And there were leaflets for sukekiyo's January shows/MADARA and Dirt waiting for us on our seats.

After the interview, live footage and music videos, staff brought two long tables on the stage with 4 chairs. Fujieda again started with greetings and introduced himself and Takabayashi, and finally asked the audience for the applause for the band members as they come on stage.

Kaoru and Kyo came then.

Kaoru wore all black, jacket, glasses.

Kyo had green hair (same as for the a knot calendar photo session), shocking pink jacket, washed denim, pink socks and white trainers. He wore sunglasses.

They both introduced themselves with simple '薫です' and '京です' but I love how different it sounded for both of them.

Fujieda again talked first about the live footage from March. Kaoru commented that with the document it was really busy. For Kyo it felt that the staff, especially the staff under the stage was restless, moving a lot, but he himself just came and sang.

Next, Fujieda outlined the events in 2020 like he did in Nagoya, he asked if they watched the audiostreams.

Kyo: Yes, I watched all of them.

F: and then yours came last.

Kyo: I could really feel member's personality showing there.

Ka: how was the order out setlists came out decided? Was it after we submitted our setlists?

Takabayashi said that no.

Next Fujieda continued with the 2020 timeline and asked about what they can remember from the Pia VIP meetings.

Ka: I thought that Mr.Higuchi was really nervous interviewing all five of us at the same time.

Kyo: first day the atmosphere was so gloom it felt like a funeral.

After that they moved to the topic of Ochita single, F sked them about filming.

Ka: it finished so quickly, in an instant!

F: did you also feel it went by very quickly, Kyo?

Kyo: not that, there was something else. When filming we were working with a new director. For the first time, I got praised when shooting. Like only 5 minutes passed but he was all 'that's great! yes! very cool!'. Huh? What was that supposed to be? Being told that so much wasn't it too much? And then he had some issue with equipment and asked to go again. When the director saw my costume first he also went 'huh wow!' And the place was so narrow.

After that they moved to the merch items for this events. F passed them their own items and Kyo just kept holding the choker, almost like being frozen.

Meanwhile Kaoru said that there's no special meaning behind deciding to produce the pouch. Then, Kyo, asked about the choker, reacted.

Kyo: isn't this super cool?

(and then again)

Kyo: it's seriously cool. It's super cool. ...it's super cool. ...it's super cool.

(all the time just holding and looking at it)

F: about the embossing?

Kyo: not that, it's just super cool.

Agreed😆🖤

Then F announced they will move to the part with questions from fans. He divided the question sheets and passed them to everyone. But Kyo just kept moving to the next page, next page, next page...

F (trying to avoid silence😂): there were many questions on similar topics, I grouped some of them, many people asked about a movie you saw recently, movie you enjoyed.

Ka: I saw 'Hansekai', a Japanese movie.

Kyo: (after a moment) I watched 'Videodrome'.

He told us a bit about the plot, that you start questioning there what is real when watching. He said it's an older movie, and I didn't catch it but there was some connection with Robocop? He said he's also watching 'Friends' and Netflix's 'Dracula'.

After that Kaoru read a question from a fan: 'F seems to be really loved by all members and staff, but can you tell us how do you actually feel about him?'

Ta kept it cool just saying F is his kohai (younger friend/colleague). Kaoru, too, said that F is cool. But then it was time for Kyo ('s rant)🤣

Kyo: I would like to say you're cool, but there are those things I told you you should try to work on. You say you can eat anything, that's okay, but the way you eat is just, too eager (talking about his eating manners), you're even biting your lips, you also ask me about things when you don't really care, and then you reply with 'yeah yeah'. Don't do it. Saying 'yeah' once is fine, but saying 'yeah yeah' is too much.

(possibly didn't get it all xD)

F: I'll be careful. ...any questions you'd like to read?

Kyo (just kept moving on to the next paper, next question, next, next): nothing good.

Kaoru to the rescue picked a question, but had comments.

Ka: 'I'm moving the day after tomorrow and I'm curious bout the life with many people together (in a big group). How is it when you have to stay together?' Is there a connection between this and moving?

He talked about touring abroad and spending time together in a bus, but they just go to sleep soon. But there are more chances to talk before the shows.

Ta: 'can you recommend us any good restaurants in Osaka?'

nothing from the band members besides heavy thinking😂

Ta: 'which do you like better, takoyaki or okonomiyaki?'

Ka: I like both, but I don't eat them much. Monja(yaki) is better though.

Kyo: Monja is good, but choboyaki, from Kyoto, is the best.

Ta: I like both.

F: I eat everything. But abroad it's more difficult.

Kyo: ...the kebab chicken story.

He told us about the time when they were touring, he always stays on the bus so he would ask a roadie to go get him something to eat. He was thinking about eating McDonalds, but then F suddenly said 'let's do kebab!'. After F said that it's not like he could say he wanted McDonalds.

F laughed but got scolded by Kyo.

Kyo: I told you not to laugh like that! Like just a moment ago!

😂

Kaoru brought up that they played at Osaka Jo Hall on this day in the past. They talked about some trouble they had and the venue staff being angry at them.

Kyo: I don't remember anything from that day. I deleted it from my memory.

F: but you chose I'll and Zan for your audiostream.

Kyo: I wanted to do it for my setlist. But then I saw on twitter few fans wrote they want me to do it, I got upset and almost changed it. Almost. In the end nowadays it's something we wouldn't do.

Ta: 'anything you're into now fashionwise?'

Kao (after thinking): nothing really. ...but I'm not wearing socks today.

F stood up to check.

Kyo: You're THAT interested???

F: just wanted to see what it looks like.

Kyo: that's really weird.

F: 'what's the 'fashion point' for you today (the main idea of your look)?

Kyo: well, what do you think?

F: pink?

Kyo: the whole outfit, you're dead!😂

F: ...but even your socks are pink?

Kyo: you really think pink is the main idea? Look at my hair, green, I couldn't wear this outfit if I had black hair. It's about total balance! You're really a weird one.

all the love😂

F: 'winter is a nabe season, so what is your favorite nabe?'

Ka ...talked a lot about different types of nabe to make at home.

Kyo: nothing in particular.

F: what nabe do you want to eat now?

Kyo: what do you think?

F: k...kimchi nabe?

Kyo: I was going to say you're dead if you say something else than kimchi nabe.

F (laughing): I got it right?? But I wanted to hear I'm dead😂

Ta: I like chanko nabe.

Ta: 'what's your favorite tea?'

Ka: don't know, I drink a lot of jasmin tea, but I just buy it in a bottle.

Kyo: any tea is okay.

F: I drink Tokucha (for dieting benefits)

(there's one question here when I zoned out) *found my missing bit: there was a question about the name for their fans, toriko. It came from a poster of Die from MACABRE era, fully dressed up, it said 'I'll make you into my slave'.

F: 'what's your favorite alcohol?'

Ka: wine, Napa Valley, I think I talked about it with Mr.Higuchi (at the Pia VIP meeting).

Kyo: I don't really drink now.

He said he used to buy some stuff to make drinks, cocktails, but doesn't drink now.

F: 'what's the most fun moment or something interesting you've done recently?'

Ka: so we've never played here before, at Zepp Namba. When we arrived we talked together in the dressing room. It was nice to have a chance to chat.

Kyo: same really.

Next, F talked about the additional streamed event and the filming.

Ka told us he felt funny when filming (with motion capture) because one of the sensors to record his movement was exactly where he usually plays the guitar so he had to hold the guitar a bit higher than normal (he showed us how it looked and it was quite funny).

Kyo said that when he was filming, and he went second, Die was first, they had to wear costumes like a Mojimoji-kun (like a black skin tight onesie), he felt Die looked much better, and it really made him feel bad, that his style was too 'minimal'. He felt shocked and didn't really like the filming.

F asked everyone to join them on New Year's Eve and next asked band members for the last comments.

Kaoru: We're not able to do concerts and it's very difficult now to gather together like this, so I'm really grateful you all came. We're thinking a lot about what we can do next year.

Kyo: It must have been difficult to come here today, I'm sorry. And 'おおきに・ookini・thank you/sorry for the trouble.

F: oh sudden Kansai dialect.

Kyo: I'm from Kansai.

F: It's fine if Kansai person uses Kansai dialect.

Kyo (turned to fans again): ookini.

Kyo waved to the audience, then they stood up and stood looking at fans a bit, bowed and finally left.

(unfortunatelly I only went to the 1st slot, but might dedicate my time on the train to Sendai tomorrow to collect some bits from twitter!)

#dir en grey #kyo #京 #kaoru #薫 #the world you live in #zepp namba #🖤

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carryonmywaywardcaptain · 4 years ago

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A Supernaturally Marvelous Fic Challenge

Calling all Supernatural and Marvel fanfic writers!

I don’t know about y’all, but writer’s block and lack of motivation have hit me harder than ever this year. It’s no secret that 2020 has been a giant crap show for a lot of people, but our precious fics and fandoms can be such a great escape from it all. In an attempt to spread some inspiration and feel good vibes, I wanted to make my follower celebration something that might help both writers and readers.

Below you’ll find all sorts of prompts (dialogue, songs, AUs, etc.) because you never know what might inspire you. Since we’ve all had a tough year, there’s a catch! You’ve got to give it a happy ending.

Make it fun. Make it sassy. Make it steamy. But for the love of ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY please wrap it up nicely with good things and a “fluffy” bow. Cool? Cool.

Now, on to the rest:

This is my follower celebration for both blogs, so please consider following @carryonmywaywardcaptain, @carryoncaptainrogers, or both!

As you may have guessed from the title, prompts can be written for Supernatural or Marvel (extra love and virtual hugs if you choose to write about Dean Winchester or Steve Rogers because they are the loves of my life. But there’s still plenty of love for the rest of the Avengers & TFW!)

Angst, smut, crack, and fluff are all welcome, but remember to give it a fluffy/positive ending and tag the warnings accordingly (Please steer clear of smut if you’re under 18. Stay young and innocent, babes.)

No limit to how many people sign up for each prompt. Feel free to combine prompts or even combine fandoms in a crossover! Whatever gets your creative juices flowing.

Send an ask with the prompt you want to do and the pairing you’re planning to write (life gets busy, so I’ll do a reminder post before the deadline if it’s helpful for you!). Reader inserts or OCs are both fine.

Tag me in the A/N and use the hashtag #supernaturally marvelous fic challenge by December 20th January 31st. If you’re garbage at deadlines like me, I’m super flexible and won’t hold it against you if you get it done later! I’ll reblog SPN fics on this blog and Marvel pairings over on @carryoncaptainrogers so your fics are seen by the fans who need them most :)

Got another idea you want to write and/or read about? Shoot me an ask and maybe I can add it to the mix!

Make sure to check back once in a while in case more prompts are suggested and added! Without further ado (oof, this is long!):

Some song ideas:

“Boss’s Daughter”- Pop Evil

“Night Moves”- Bob Seger

“It’s Been a Long, Long Time”- Harry James

“I Won’t Say (I’m in Love)”- yes, from Hercules

“Hold You in My Arms”- Ray Lamontagne

“Better Man”- James Morrison

“Perfect for Me”- Justin Timberlake

“When We Were Young”- Adele

“Holding Out For a Hero”- Ella Mae Bowen’s version

“Come Around”- Papa Roach

“From Eden”- Hozier

“To the Man Who Let Her Go”- Tyler Shaw

“What If I Stay”- Chris Young

“Drift Off to Dream”- Travis Tritt

“Take Your Time”- Sam Hunt

“T-Shirt”- Thomas Rhett

“Not Strong Enough”- Apocalyptica, Brent Smith

“What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?”- Lee Ann Womack

“Right Where You Want Me” or “Better With You”- Jesse McCartney (because I love them both and just couldn’t choose lol)

Feel free to suggest songs from the shows/movies! I know the above are random. I tried to have some variety.

AUs, Tropes, etc.:

*gasp* And there was only one bed… (Bed sharing)

Confessing FEELINGS (or “everyone conspiring to make them confess their feelings already”)

Neighbors

At a concert

Fake relationship for some event/case

Royal/Medieval

Soulmates

A/B/O

Friends/Enemies/Strangers to lovers

Comforting the other person

Dialogue prompts:

“I didn’t mean to turn you on.” “Well, it’s a little late for that!”

"Stop telling me you’re okay.”

“Can you please come and get me?”

“Sometimes you can be a real dumbass, you know that?”

“Because I care about you!”

“I’m right here. I’ve got you.”

“Who did this to you?”

“Well...what if I go with you?”

“Give me a chance to change your mind.”

“Plot twist!” “Screaming ‘plot twist’ doesn’t make this suck any less.”

“What did I say?” “You told me to stay out of trouble.” “And what did you do?” “The opposite of that, obviously.”

“You can do so much better than him. I wish there was some way I could make you believe that.”

“Not enough? You’re...everything.”

“Well this was fun... Let’s never do it again.”

“I need you to do something for me. You owe me a no-questions-asked.”

“Don’t look at me like that! You know what it does to me.”

“Wait! Just...take me instead.”

“You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.”

“I can’t stay away from you. I’m tired of trying.”

“Have you seen you? You’re like a damn dreamboat.”

Random things my kiddos at school have said:

“Hey Mrs. America! Mrs. Captain America.”

“You know what your problem is? DAT attitude.”

“How did it taste?” “Like disappointment.”

“Do we got a fucking problem?”

“When am I not wearing my sassy pants?”

“Words are hard.”

“I’ve been screaming internally my entire life.”

“Can I jump over the fence?” “No, but thank you for asking.”

“That’s not very cash money of you.” “...I don’t know what that means.” “That’s okay. I just felt like saying it.”

“What do you call a blind dinosaur?” “Dead.” [P.S. the answer is Do-you-think-he-saw-rus]

Shenanigan ideas:

Karaoke night at a bar

Thanksgiving dinner

Christmas lights

Slow dancing

Prank War

Ice skating

Mistletoe

Ugly sweater party

Gift exchange

Creating/sharing holiday traditions

Please reblog or tag your favs who might be looking for a little extra inspiration!

CarryOnCap Crew (Forevers):

@abswritesfandoms @amanda-teaches @cosicas-cuquis @crist1216 @droidyouseek @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008 @flawless-disaster @janeyboo @jenn0755 @ksgeekgirl @maresmiley @memyselfandmaddox @notyourtypicalrose @randomparanoid @rynabarnesrogers @sandlee44 @scarletsoldierrr @shann-the-artist-moon @sheerioasteroidpanda @shynara51 @someday-when-you-leave-me @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @thisismysecrethappyplace @torntaltos @waywardbaby @waywardrose13 @weebid @whimsicalrobots @wintersoldierbaby @wintersoldierissucharide @yesfanficsaremylife

Cap’s Marvel Crew:

@amoonagedaydreamer @bangtan-serendipity @bubbabarnes @lilacs-with-lavender @msgreenverse @nomadstevergxrs @palaiasaurus64 @scarlettsoldier @selina-kyle89 @smokeandnailz @troublermalik @twittytelly @valkirsif

Cap’s SPN Crew:

@adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278 @alexwinchester23 @bi-danvers0 @deangirl7695 @dean-winchesters-bacon @fandomoniumflurry @pisces-cutie @supernaturalenchanted @superromijn @waywardnerd67 @x-waywardaf-x

Other amazing writers came to mind in case you’re interested in participating, feeling inspired to bless us with more of your beautiful work, or wouldn’t mind reblogging/tagging other writers (Please forgive me for spamming you!):

@luci-in-trenchcoats @supernatural-jackles @evansrogerskitten @cajunquandary @after-avenging-hours @fvckingavengers @mywritingsblog @bitsandbobsandstuff @prettyyoungtragedy @kittenofdoomage @angelkurenai @impala-dreamer @redgillan @gaybybirth @invisibleanonymousmonsters @221bshrlocked @sgtjbuccky @captainrogerss @katymacsupernatural @buckyofthemyscira @captain-rogers-beard-mainblog @dancingalone21 @atc74 @smol-and-grumpy @hannahindie @kdfrqqg @sis-tafics @idreamofplaid @deanssweetheart23 @because-imma-lady-assface @covered-byroses @captain-kelli @heli0s-writes @deanwinchesterswitch @roonyxx @jay-and-dean @ladywinchester1967 @spnfanficpond

#supernaturally marvelous fic challenge #CarryOnCap's fic writing challenge #fic writing challenge #follower celebration #marvel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #fanfic writing prompts #fanfic writing challenge #fluff #dean winchester x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sam winchester x reader #supernatural reader insert #spn reader insert #marvel reader insert

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guessimwritingficsagain · 4 years ago

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To been seen, part Four (Frankie Morales x Reader)

Summary : You get a text. You freak out.

Author’s note : I am very very soft for Frankie.

Also, I have a few days off and I thought I have been really self-indulgent so : the cheese gift really happened to me (best birthday ever, he got me a Mont d'Or because he knew I had planned on eating one with my best friend to celebrate), the Edward Scissorchands movie thing really happened to me, and the "date" with the grandma too. In France, the Opera is often showed in movie theaters. When I was a teenager, I thought it was quite the event, though. So I got invited. Next thing we saw together with that guy was the movie Black Swan and I made sure someone was tagged along.

The holidays came and went in a blur of laughter, hot chocolate was big sweaters. You were happy. And Jessie was happy too. January came, and went, too. Everything was slow. So you watched the movie you’d bought, and a bunch of others too.

February was over before you knew it, and when March warmed up the air, you found yourself, one morning, looking at the screen of your phone like the message would disappear if you blinked. You turned your eyes to the cupboard that contained the empty box of chocolate that sat there, hidden from the sniggering remarks of Linda, and looked back at the screen. The text message was still there. You put the phone down, abruptly, fingers tingling and burning and went to get a glass of water. Your eyes landed on the bottle of wine, still unopened, and you almost spilled your drink. You went back to your phone in a hurry, opened the chat you shared with your friends and sent

Who the fuck gave Francisco fucking Morales my phone number ?????

You waited, breathing hard, hoping anyone would answer. Nothing came, not right away. Phone on the table again, you slumped on the couch, nervous breakdown on its way. You couldn’t do it, there was no way you could do that, you couldn’t, that would kill you, you wouldn’t survive this.

Time floated for a while, up until your phone vibrated and you jumped. You’d been so caught up in your thoughts you hadn’t noticed everyone had answer, Anna, Jessie and Linda with a simple « not me » but James …

James had sent a

Go get some

And an eggplant emoji.

James, then.

Okay.

You were fine. You could answer a text. You knew the drill, by now. You knew how to pretend you were not freaking out every time Frankie did something unexpected and kind, like that time he offered you chocolate and a bottle of wine for Christmas. You had coping mechanisms, now, to hide the fact you had a doctorate in yearning.

You’d replayed the Christmas Scene so many times in your head you sometimes thought you made it up, but the reminders were there, in your flat.

You’re replaying it now.

You’re getting out of your car, with ten minutes to spare before work starts. It’s almost six. You spot Frankie’s truck on the parking lot and you’re a bit surprised but mostly delighted, even more so when you see the man himself jogging towards you. It takes you a minute to see he’s holding presents. By the time he gets to you, you’re confused. He smiles a breathy hello before handing you what he’s got in his hands. You stare at the neatly wrapped packages for a bit, like the dumbass you are, unable to put two and two together. Maybe it’s for Clara ?

It must be for Clara.

You take them. Say thank you. And Frankie answers :

« Open them. »

Your braincells must have left the building like God in Supernatural, gone off to do the Macarena dance somewhere very far away because all you can answer is what and you know you sound like a dumbass and you feel like one too.

The lack of reaction is getting to Frankie, you can tell, because he’s rubbing the back of his neck and you feel bad that he’s embarrassed so you say :

« You got me presents ? »

Well, except you don’t really say it. More squeal it. Or shriek it. You’re not sure. It feels like a repeat of that moment a boy you’d liked but never made a move on offered you fucking cheese on your birthday and was all embarrassed about it and you didn’t know what to do or say because his birthday had been a few days before yours and you didn’t get him anything.

You add, for good measure, because why the hell not :

« But I didn’t get you anything. »

Like maybe he’s going to take them back, or maybe the moment is going to rewind except you don’t want it to rewind because Frankie has gifts for you, just for you.

Maybe he got something for Jessie and Anna, too ? You wonder. And Linda. You know he goes there to buy books. Maybe he showed up and got her some stuff. Not books, you hope. Stupid to buy books to a bookseller.

All of this goes through your mind and in the meanwhile Frankie’s waiting and when you finally put your bag down on the hood of your car to carefully open the first present, your body finally moving, you don’t miss the sigh of relief that escapes Frankie. It’s a box of chocolate, a fancy one at that. You recognize the brand. You hold it for a while, before you set it down with your bag and say thank you in a voice that’s way too small. You open the second one, then. Wine. White wine. Wine that you actually love. Your favorite. You wonder how he knows that.

You’re holding the bottle the way he’s holding his breath : tight. You lift your eyes to meet his and you can tell he’s embarrassed and a bit blushing. He rearranges the cap on his head and announces :

« Merry Christmas. »

You say it back, smile so big your cheeks hurt because Frankie got you presents for Christmas. You put the bottle with the rest of your stuff and then, on a whim, you throw yourself at him for a hug. He closes his arms around you, and one hand comes up right between your shoulder-blades, his thumb just here, sitting on the back of your neck, skin against skin and maybe you’re dead and in heaven right now.

You stay like this way too long and at some point you mumble against his shoulder that you really didn’t get him anything.

« It’s fine », he answers as he lets go, hands squeezing your side briefly.

You get into work late.

And now, you got a text. You opened it, read it again.

Maybe you could do this. Maybe you could take it to the next level. After all, you’d became closer to the boys over the last two months. Santi could have sent you that text, right ? That text didn’t have the word date in it. Maybe you were friends now. Frankie’d gotten you Christmas presents, after all.

So you read the words again, and before you could talk yourself out of it, you sent a yeah, sure, I’m in !

Your eyes went over his message once again, just to make sure the words would be burnt into your brain.

Hey, it’s Frankie. I know Friday’s your day off this week. I got two tickets to that new Marvel movie and one with your name on it. You in ?

You could spend two hours in a dark room with Francisco Morales right next to you. No problem. None at all.

———

He’d picked a screening that ended around seven. Your mind supplied just in time for dinner, and you kicked the two remaining braincells you had. You’d decided to drive there separately and were now sitting next to each other, you explaining the Marvel timeline and him listening intently. You were a nerd, but, him, not as much. You didn’t try to think too hard about the fact that he was doing this for you, because he was not as much into comics or movies as you were.

The whole thing was pleasant and relaxed.

This was not a date, you reminded yourself.

You got dinner after that, dissecting the movie as you ate - nothing fancy, but it was nice. The conversation shifted, at some point.

« Yeah, I get what you mean : movies are not the place to make a move. Especially when there’s a hot guy on the screen. I mean, what chance do you get when you’re watching a movie and Oscar Isaac is right there ? » Frankie laughed.

You nodded, getting another sip of your drink, and, as an afterthought, added :

« You know, Santi kinda looks like Oscar Isaac … »

Frankie grunted :

« Never, ever, tell him that. »

You promised you wouldn’t. After that, the two of you told each other stories about your worst dates, and you remembered :

« You know, when I was younger, before I met James, I hung out with a bunch of guys. I was like, fourteen, and they were sort of … beginning to understand I was a girl, you know. There was this guy, a good friend of mine, who actually told this other guy we weren’t going to see a movie. I remember, it was a special screening of Edward Scissorshands. So, my other friend never showed up and the guy told me he couldn’t make it. »

« Let me guess, the other guy told you later he thought you weren’t going ? »

You laughed.

« Yeah, basically. And then this guy I went to see the movie with invited me to a really fancy thing. It was a Wednesday afternoon, I remember. We got lunch. I didn’t pay for anything because he’d invited to come along with him and his grandma. Let me tell you : after that, I made sure to always have someone with us when he invited me somewhere. »

Frankie’s laugh was something you’d never grew tired of, you knew that.

———

Months went on, like that, with you and Frankie hanging out to see movies, and everybody showing up for Benny’s fight when you could (Jessie and you had to keep James updated, those nights, because he’d gone back to Washington after new year’s eve but wanted to know everything). Jessie had started dating a guy, at some point, and you didn’t find him that great but Will hated him.

« When are you gonna make a move ? » You asked, one evening as you were sipping beers with him at his place.

« When she doesn’t have a boyfriend dull as dishwater » He answered without missing a beat.

You knew this was the moment, then. You had two options : say nothing and let things be, or say something and get those idiots together. You thought hard, about the phrasing of your next sentence, and settled with :

« For you, she’d dump him. »

Will froze at that, just for a second, and quipped back :

« I’ll make a move when you make a move on ‘Fish. »

So that conversation was happening. You’d hoped none of the guys had noticed but obviously, at least one of them had. And you knew, by now, that his ex-wife had left him, had left Maria too. You knew he was available. You sputtered a bit and Will, kind Will, let it be. You enjoyed a nice evening with him, not once wondering why he sought you out, because Will and you didn’t hang out.

The answer came a few days later, with a simple text from Frankie.

Come over please

———

« I need you to take care of Maria », Frankie said as he opened the door. He looked really tired, like he hadn’t slept in days.

Please, he added, begging but you didn’t quite understand what he was begging for.

You complied, never stopping to think that this was the first time you saw Maria, never stopping to think about what might be possibly happening, even as Frankie went to his room, muttering apologies. It hit you when you put the girl to bed, and you remembered Frankie and the way he’d been looking at you that day, when he’d asked if they could throw a birthday party for their late friend’s daughter.

It was around that time, last year.

You walked hesitantly towards Frankie’s bedroom and stared at the white paint in it for a while. You were nervous, and actually turned around to smoke a cigarette outside, the air a bit too chilly for you, but cold enough to wake you up and give you the strength to walk to Frankie’s bedroom and knock.

So you did it.

He didn’t answer, but, feeling bold - or rather, feeling like you needed to do it - you opened the door anyway. The room was almost dark, the moonlight giving you an idea that Frankie was curled up, on his side. You put a hand on his shoulder. He put his on top of yours. You chose - you chose - to take it at a silent invitation, lifted the covers, and got, fully dressed, right next to him. Because friends do that.

———

When you woke up, he was staring at you. While your brain tried to make sense of the situation, you asked, voice heavy with sleep :

« What time is it ? »

Seven, Frankie answered. Maria’s gonna wake up soon, he added. You were too tired to say anything else, because when you’d laid down next to him you’d felt like your heart had been about to burst so you’d just listened to him, his breath steadying as he’d got to sleep. You’d finally got to sleep too, but it was too damn early for you.

Later, you’d blame what happened on your foggy brain : you snuggled closer, and Frankie let you. Then, it hit you. At that moment, right next to him, it hit you : you were not friends with him. You were pretending to be, but you were not and never would.

You couldn’t.

You wanted to wake up everyday like that, to Frankie telling you it’s seven, Maria’s gonna be awake soon. You wanted everything and friends just wouldn’t cut it.

Two things happened at once, then : you were realizing how much you liked - loved - Frankie when he gently took one of your forearm and brought it to his lips. All of the feelings hit home just as he was kissing the soft skin on your wrist and you froze.

He saw it and let go immediately, muttering apologies, while you were still processing what you felt about him. When you reached to grab him, to tell him how good that was and how wanted him to do it again, it was already too late.

#frankie morales x reader #francisco morales #triple frontier #Pedro Pascal x reader

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elocinnicole · 4 years ago

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A New Year’s Kiss

Summary: Daveed plans to propose to Reader on her favorite holiday as he prepares the night before the proposal he thinks back through memories of their three-year relationship.

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Black!Reader

AN: I’m giving the sisters names since the Reader comes from a big family.

Series Masterlist

It was a cold night in New York City, you sat in the living room of your new three-bedroom apartment sipping on a cup of hot ginger tea. Daniel crawled all over the place, loving the ample amount of space he had to chase the new family dog, Rocky, a Beagle puppy. Daniel’s laughter made you smile widely; you loved the life you and Daveed built for yourselves. The new apartment was coming along nicely, you finally unpacked the last of the boxes, thus ending the living out of a box phase. You decorated the walls with pictures of family and friends, there’s even a wall dedicated to the tv shows, movies, plays, and musicals the two of you have been in. Even though you truly think that it was Daveed’s way to brag about your accomplishments every time someone came over to visit, despite the many times he denied it. The sound of the front door opening alerted Daniel that Daveed was home, he crawled to the front of the apartment, screaming at the top of his lungs. Daveed scooped Daniel and kissed the top of his head where his curly dark brown hair was starting to grow.

“Hey, little man! Where’s Mommy?” Daniel pointed toward the living room. Daveed walked over and plopped down next to you. You shared a quick kiss before Daniel slid himself out of Daveed’s lap to keep playing with Rocky.

“How was your day?” Daveed asked he wrapped an arm around you to pull you close to him.

“It was fine, just like the first day of rehearsals.” After being in The Lion King for about three months, you landed the lead role in a new musical called WET PAINT. “We start previews at the end of February. How was it with Anthony?”

“It was great, babe. We got the song done Rafa’s gonna send in his verse tomorrow.”

“That—” Then there were several loud knocks at the door

“You expecting company?”

“Remember my mom and sisters are coming up for New Years,” You hopped off the couch and greeted your family at the door, they were staying at a hotel not far from your apartment and you planned for them to come over and visit since your sisters haven’t seen Daniel since he was born.

“Hey Mom,” You pulled your mom in for a hug

“Hey, Y/N!”

“Come in guys,” Your mom and three sisters walked into your apartment,

“Where’s my grandson?” Your mom wondered loudly

“Nana!” Just like that Daniel made his way over to your mom who swooped down to pick him up.

“Hi, Nana’s baby, Y/N, I love the new place.” Your mom said as everyone followed you into the kitchen.

“Thanks, we needed more space, with Daniel getting bigger and having a dog.”

“Is there any other reason why you and Daveed needed more space?” Your oldest sister, Fatima, playfully suggested

“Um, girl no, Daniel isn’t even one yet. I’m just getting back to my pre-baby body. Oh, by the way, can you re-dip my braids tonight?”

“I was gonna offer but I didn’t want to be rude,” Fatima teased

“Shut up, rude ass.”

“So,” your older sister, Mara started “have you thought about having another baby?”

“I mean, yeah but not anytime soon.”

“What about marriage?” Your other sister, Kalani, added

“It’s been discussed, we both know we’re in this for the long haul.”

“Wedding bells may be in your near future,” Mara teased

“Can we wait a minute, we just moved, Daniel’s about to turn one, I just went back to work, I need some more time.”

“Girl, you waited three years, how much longer?” Fatima reasoned

“Why are you guys interrogating me?” You asked overwhelmed knowing that Daveed was well within earshot.

“Alright, alright, we’ll leave you alone, come on and let me fix your hair.”

Your sisters and mom ended up staying well past dinner and you didn’t mind it one minute. After graduating from Howard University, you moved to New York and didn’t look back. The last time you saw your sisters, in person, was at your baby shower and that was a year ago. After eating the crab cakes your Mom made and about three glasses of Merlot, you currently playing Black Card Revoked with your sisters, one of your favorite games, India Aire playing in the background.

“Okay, so this is majority rules, ‘You know it’s about to be a fight when you hear someone say? A. We need to talk… B. I just find it funny how… C. So what you not gonna do… or D. Didn’t I tell you…’” Fatima read

“C!” You said confidently, “That’s how all my fights started in high school.

“Naw I gotta go with D,” Mara shouted “D is one of them sneak attacks from behind.”

“Like that time, you grabbed that girl’s hair,” Kalani reminisced

“Yeah, she was bothering Y/N, and I was the only one in high school with her and I was not gonna let some bitch mess with my sister.”

“And that’s on period,” Fatima said

“Pooh!” Kalani added, making the sisters laugh

Daveed noticed your mom in the kitchen washing the dishes and saw it as the perfect opportunity.

“Hey, Daveed, sorry about the wedding talk with my daughters. I promise I didn’t say anything to them.” Your mom said in hushed tones

“It’s okay, I just wanted to show you a picture of the ring,” Daveed pulled out his phone and showed your mother the engagement ring. Shortly after you had Daniel, Daveed came to your mother and asked for her blessing, of course, she agreed and helped him find the perfect ring and the way he should propose. Knowing you were a private person he was going to give you a gift after midnight when everyone left your place, a photo album and on the last page, he was going to pop the question.

“It’s beautiful Daveed, where is it?”

“I keep it on me at all times,” Daveed pulled the engagement box out of his pocket.

“Is that what I think it is?” Fatima gushed

“Shush, get over here girl.” Your mother urged “Where’s Y/N?”

“She’s in the living room, so you’re gonna propose?”

“Yeah,” Daveed said quietly “tomorrow.”

“Aw, I’m so happy for you two, how are you gonna propose?”

“With a photo album,” Daveed replied a small smile on his face

“Oooohhhh, I can’t wait,” Fatima said clapping her hands together

“Fatima it’s your turn and you about to get skipped!” You shouted from the living room

“Girl, skip me I’m winning anyway,” Fatima said walking back over

Daveed sat in the living room long after you had fallen asleep and your mom and sisters went back to their hotel. He was going over the photo album to make sure that everything was perfect for tomorrow. The first picture he came across was from the opening night party of the First National Tour of Hamilton, which is where the two of you met. After consuming many drinks from the open bar the two of you snapped a very drunk selfie. Daveed had kissed your cheek and you were laughing.

March 2017

After you spilled your wine on Daveed, it seemed the two of you were attached at the hip. Between the bar and the dance floor, Daveed was not far from you and you didn’t mind at all. There was a lavish balcony looking over San Francisco, you and Daveed were laughing at a high school story you were telling him.

“So, the girlfriend started hitting the boyfriend mind you, we’re all in line for the Haunted Mansion ride and it got so bad that we were told to get out of line, so I never got to ride the Haunted Mansion. Long story short, my first and only trip to Disneyland before all of this was pretty bad.”

“Well, that just means we have to go back.”

“When?”

“Whenever,”

“Daveed, we can’t just drive to Disneyland and I don’t know you like that.”

“We can fly, that’s not a problem.”

“Did you forget that I’m on a tour right now?”

“Ain’t y’all here until August.”

“Well, I still don’t know you.”

“You can get to know me.”

“What if I don’t want to?” You challenged

“I can get us Fast Passes.”

“Oh, so you got it like that?” You teased flirtatiously

“Yeah, uh, I got some connections,” Daveed smirked

“Alright, let’s go.”

“It’s a date,” Daveed smiled

“It’s a date.”

The next picture was a picture Jasmine took of them at an award show, that night you said I love you to each other for the first time.

June 2018

You and Daveed had attended your first red carpet event of the award season that evening. It was also the first time you were at an exclusive event as a couple. The paparazzi went crazy all of them wanting to snap pictures of Daveed and his new girlfriend. It was all overwhelming to you. Of course, you have been on a red carpet before but not for an award show. While it was exciting it was also draining. Unfortunately, you had to leave that night to go back to New York you had a show the next day, what made it worse, was that Daveed had to stay in LA for an interview about Blindspotting. Now at the airport, you hugged your boyfriend tightly not wanting to let go.

“You gonna miss your flight,” He mumbled into the crook of your neck.

“I don’t care,” You said, tiredness evident in your voice.

“It’s only two days, go make that money,” Daveed said trying to lift your spirits. Daveed cupped your face and kissed you on the lips.

“I love you,” He said tenderly, you looked at him wide-eyed. He mentally slapped himself for saying that out loud. He scanned your face for any sign that you would say it back. When he didn’t he pulled away from you, suddenly.

“Sorry, for saying that, uh—-”

“Daveed—-”

“I um, I hope you have a safe flight. Call me when you land.” Daveed said quickly, wanting to end the already awkward moment. He turned to walk away but you grabbed his arm and pulled him in for another kiss.

“You didn’t let me say it back, dork.” You gave him a quick peck on the lips “I love you too,” Daveed smiled widely and kissed you once more.

“Can you say it again?” You playfully rolled your eyes

“I love you too.” Daveed leaned in to kiss you but you put up your hand to stop him

“I’m gonna miss my flight, messing with you. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

January 2019

“Happy New Year!!” You smiled while you kissed Daveed. The two of you were hosting a New Year’s Eve party for your friends at Daveed’s New York apartment. This was the first big event the two of you hosted. Well, it was mainly you, Daveed just let you do your thing. You pulled away from the kiss and raised an eyebrow, you know that there was something was on his mind.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You should move in with me.”

“Huh? How much have you had to drink?” You asked but you were just as tipsy after taking quite a few shots out the Grammy.

“Not as much as you.” You lightly slapped his chest you examined his face to make sure he wasn’t playing a joke

“You serious?”

“Hella,”

“Aw, so I’m gonna have more than a drawer.” Daveed playfully rolled his eyes

“You can have a whole dresser,” You gave a peck on the cheek, smiling widely.

“I love you,”

“Love you too.”

The next day, Daveed did his best to keep his cool which was easy because your sisters, Mom, Jasmine, Kim, Rafael, Barbara, and Dountes were all at your place for New Year's Eve and served as the perfect distraction. Anthony was in Times Square performing on the Main Stage and would be the last act before the ball dropped so you decided to host a party.

You caught Daveed staring, smirking you walked over to him. You were wearing a brown bodycon dress and matching heels. Feeling the effects of the alcohol had you feeling more confident. You sensually wrapped your arms around Daveed making sure to caress his muscles.

“We have some time before midnight,” you suggested Daveed smirked and kissed your forehead.

“With your Mom here?” Daveed asked with raised eyebrows.

“I can be quiet,”

“After everyone’s gone. So we don’t have to worry about being quiet.” You pouted which made Daveed snicker.

“It’s shot o’clock!” Your sister Mara called from the kitchen

“Oh, so we doing body shots?” Rafael suggested eying your sister.

“Body shots?” Fatima questioned

“I’m down,” Mara responded giving Rafael the same look.

“No one is down for anything, this is not some frat party.”

“How much you wanna bet, Rafa’s gonna—”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, I don’t need the visual.”

Midnight came and went and Daveed’s nervousness was at an all-time high. He watched as your guests left one by one. Neither of you were surprised when Mara and Rafa slipped away shortly after the ball dropped. Surprisingly, Daniel stayed up until the ball dropped, but went to sleep shortly after.

“I’m about to go change so we can start cleaning up.”

“Hold on, I wanna give you something first,” Daveed said you sighed heavily.

“Babe, can you give it to me after I change? I wanna get out my shoes.”

“It’s not gonna take long. I promise, go in the living room.”

You sleepily walked back to the living room and plopped down on the sofa, whatever Daveed had up his sleeve better be worth it. Daveed returned with a purple photo album in hand and handed it to you.

“What’s this?”

“Just some pictures, something I put together.” You smiled, tears threatening to fall.

“Aw, you’re so sweet, thank you so much, baby.”You kissed his cheek before looking through the album and reacting to the pictures. It was so crazy to see the timeline of your relationship, who would’ve thought that back in 2017 you would be where the two of you are now.

You flipped through the album until you got to the last page. It was an empty page and dated for today. Confused you turned to look at Daveed only to find him already on bended knee with a ring box in hand. You covered your face as the tears started falling. Daveed gently removed your hands from your face. You saw that he was holding back tears as well.

“When you purposely split your wine on me—”

“Oh my gosh, Daveed!”

“I knew you were something special the first time I laid my eyes on you. Baby, you are the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of it with you. I kept going over what I was gonna say or how I wanted to do this. I wanted it to be perfect because you deserve nothing but perfection. I love you so much. Will you marry me?” You were full-on crying at this point. The album already made you emotional but, the both of you had discussed marriage but still, this proposal is everything you’ve could‘ve dreamed of.

“Yes, yes of course.” Daveed slid the ring onto your ring finger and you pulled him in for a kiss. This is always how you imagine your engagement would be, just you and your fiancé.

#hamilton imagine #hamilton rpf #daveed diggs #daveed diggs x black!reader #family is everything #daveed diggs imagine #daveed x black!reader

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nutty1005 · 5 years ago

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Xiao Zhan: Learning to Live with Different Opinions

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/kFwWw70e6UvJ75egnRe7BA This article is published by Blogger World 博客天下 Weixin. This is also part of the article published in Blogger World 《博客天下》2020 8th Issue.

Giving others the space and freedom to voice different opinions is also a form of respect. Accepting criticisms during growth, displaying kindness in adversity.

Eye of the Storm

Acting is a profession, once you become famous, you will be labelled as “a celebrity” and you become a public figure, but in essence, you are still an average person. Just like everyone else during the pandemic period, they still need to stay quarantined at home and consider their daily meals.

“Celebrity” Xiao Zhan, who has a huge fan following, was also at home catching up on the movies on his to-watch list, watching dramas, reading, practicing his culinary skills – his work was no longer as tightly scheduled as before. This was supposed to be a rare relaxation period, but because of the sudden internet controversy, he found himself landed in the midst of public outcry, and this shattered his initial peace.

At first, he was quite confused, although he understood that any public figure would come with some sense of controversy, but when some of the controversy affected his friends and family, he felt that these were unfair to them. This point was something he could not quite understand.

After the passage of time, he slowly calmed down, and he attempted to learn to live with these different opinions. He feels that giving others the space and freedom to voice different opinions is also a form of respect, and he will accept criticisms during growth, and display kindness in adversity.

After a problem appears, the best method is to resolve the problem, and not to create another problem. This problem will obviously inspire fans (of any idol) to reflect on their actions, and consider how to reasonably handle themselves as a fan. At the same time, artists will also consider how to handle their relationships with their fans, and their teams will need to be more precise in their work. Whereas to the general public, when viewing the whole incident rationally, this can be also considered to be a part of creating a healthy internet environment.

Chance

When some people consider Xiao Zhan as one of the core members of the controversial “traffic” celebrities (TN: Traffic is a term that is used in China to describe idols with a lot of fan following), and lambast him for it, it is necessary to view his journey rationally – understand his chance entry into the entertainment business, and his unique qualities that set him apart from the rest.

Born in 1991, Xiao Zhan is almost 30, but he actually had not been famous for more than a year. Before this, like many other youngsters, he went through high school, university and work life, and never thought that he would become an artist. His university was Chongqing Technology and Business University; he majored in graphic design; while schooling he had received titles such was “Advanced Literary Individual” and “Excellent Team Member”, and also participated in the charity poster design competition organized by his university, winning awards “First Standard Award” and “Most Popular Award”; he even started his own studio with his friends. As such, it can be said that he went through a complete university education, and hence he has a certain amount of knowledge literacy.

After graduating in 2014, he worked for almost a year in a design firm. In June of the second year, because he loved singing, he joined a variety show “X-Fire”《燃烧吧少年》, in hopes of being seen by more people. This was not an easy part of his life – he had to learn dancing with zero foundation, stretching, memorizing movements, with great difficulty. Finally, he debuted as a member of the X-NINE X玖少年团 boyband.

That year, he was 25, and this fulfilled the lyrics of a song by Stefanie Sun – “The 25 year old me, there are differences now.” Then, he thought 25 years old was far away, but in the end it was really different.

However, at that point in time, China talent search variety shows did not have the popularity it would have later on, hence he was not popular upon debut – there was a period of dormancy. In the years following that, he switched paths to become an actor, and participated in web dramas, television dramas, as well as a minor role in the movie “Monster Hunt” 《捉妖记》, totaling a number of 7 to 8 shows. Because he did not come from an acting background, he felt inferior to his partners, who graduated from acting schools, during the shoots. During this period of time, he also doubted his decisions, and wondered if he had a future.

Later on, in the interview with Ren Min Wang 人民网 “Friendly Chat” 《友聊》 he said, “If initially I knew that I would later on go through so much things, I might retreat.” This is actually very similar with the encounters of many other actors, from low to high, from silent to outstanding, experience, works and reputation all have to go through an accumulation process.

At that time, he already had fans, although not too many. In his Weibo, he once had a post that was meant to communicate with his fans, named “Secret Garden”, to tell one another stories, encourage and comfort one another – it was a type of positive interaction.

Fame

The true fame came on the June of 2019. The web drama “The Untamed”, where he starred as the leading actor, aired. This drama came with a fan following from the novel it was based on, and with exquisite production quality, good acting portrayal and performance, this drama became the hottest drama of that year. It scored 7.7 in Douban (TN: Somewhat like China IMDB), which was considered above average in China, and it is worthy as a piece of “work” – although Xiao Zhan said in this interview, “Currently, I don’t think I have any piece of noteworthy work, hence I cherish every opportunity to participate in creative work.”

From this, he obtained a huge reputation, his fan size grew multi-fold, and this objectively created more difficulties for his team working behind him. From a commoner to an artist, and then to a celebrity, based on Xiao Zhan’s behavior, he is careful and cautious. When interviewed by China Youth Papers 《中国青年报》, he said “When I encounter difficulties, I will not give up easily, I will think of ways to resolve it”; “Respect everyone around me, I have to uphold the heart to honor and respect everyone around me.” When interviewed by Guang Ming Times《光明日报》, he hoped “the works that he participated in could transmit some positive values.”

At the end of last year, in CCTV Movie Channel, he also reviewed his legendary experience of 2019, “There are no adjectives to describe my 2019, hence I will say thank you, thank you to all the experiences, to all that I have.” He never talks about what role he is most satisfied with, but only that he could do better, “maybe it could be the next one”. At the same time, he expressed that he will put the focus of his career in 2020 on acting, “to an actor, works are my foundation.” This clearly shows that he is clear about his own acting career.

But evidently, the start of this year was not smooth sailing for him. This internet controversy, as a related party, he received numerous criticisms, whether with good or bad intentions, and how he viewed this whole incident, what psychological process he went through, how a public figure should bear the social responsibility, and what his next steps are…

For this, the aim of this Blogger World interview with Xiao Zhan is to “understand the problem, obtain a common understanding”.

Understood Some Things

(TN: R = Reporter, XZ = Xiao Zhan)

R: Earlier when the pandemic was at its peak, what were you busy with?

XZ: Quarantine, just like everyone else during the pandemic period. I remember it was during Chinese New Year period, following the news, seeing the medical personnel fighting at the forefront. It was especially touching when you see that they were relentlessly fighting even though they were facing a lack of medical supplies. At that time, I spoke with my staff, thought about wanting to do something, and do what I can. After the discussion to decide what to donate, we started contacting the relevant suitable organizations, communicate on what was needed, etc.

Besides this, I also received invitations to record ID videos to cheer on Wuhan and songs to beat back the pandemic. Because the songs required more professional equipment, hence I remember around the end of January, we went to the recording studio. At that time, the pandemic was at its critical period, to ensure safety, there were very limited staff on site, everyone were wearing masks, everything was strictly disinfected, every staff had to perform multiple roles, but we finished the recording with high efficiency. To me, this was a very special experience. Other then that, I was quarantined at home.

R: When you were at home, how was your daily life? How did you spend the time?

XZ: Actually just like everyone else, watch the news, watch dramas, watch movies, read books and rest. It is also quite inconvenient to order takeouts during quarantine period, hence I also trained my culinary skills. Just right at the time there were charity events to aid the farmers, hence I bought some fruits and farm products.

R: Were you concerned with the daily changes of the pandemic, what did you feel and think about?

XZ: Of course I did, I was following up on the pandemic news everyday, there were many moments that touched me. Previously there was this piece of news, a pair of husband and wife, there were both medical staff at the forefront, recognized each other despite wearing isolation robes and hugged together, that scene of reunion touched me very much. But at the same time, I saw that there were a lot more people who needed assistance, and I also felt personally that what one person can do is very limited, and I did too little.

R: When the internet controversy happened, what were you doing, what was your initial reaction, and what happened after?

XZ: I was quarantined at home at that time, when I first saw it I was extremely surprised, why there were suddenly so much topics, felt a bit confused, and understood it later like everyone else. Actually with regards to controversy, as a public figure, I was willing to bear these controversy, but some of them affected my friends and family, I felt that these were unfair to them. I could not quite understand (why they did this). And that point in time was the most critical period of the pandemic, I did not want my issues to take away too much attention, and bother everyone, hence I did not make much responses. Later on, my friends also gave me advice, and this period gave me more time to ponder over it, I also went out to do voice overs, in preparation for my future jobs, slowly I understood some things, so after a while, I started to slowly calm down.

R: You once said that in order to survive in society, one needs to learn to be complex, do you realize the complexity even more so now? Where there any changes to your life views?

XZ: There is definitely complexity, I do not think this is anything bad. Facing complex situations, we do not have the ability to force any changes, but I feel, as long as we maintain the most initial kindness and purity, work hard to do the best for the things we have decided. I have always upheld these principles, and these are also what I want to do.

R: Do you feel misunderstood? How do you adjust yourself?

XZ: It is still the same phrase from the previous interview, “When serious – work, when confused – read, when alone – think, when upset – sleep.” Actually I think this phrase can be used to aptly describe my condition for the past few months.

R: After a period of time, how do you feel about the controversy now?

XZ: We need to learn to live with different opinions, and also respect everyone’s rights to voice theirs. But this world is like this, there is a balance of energy, there are those who love you, who like you, at the the same time there will be people who hates you, who dislikes you. Giving others the space and freedom to voice different opinions is also a form of respect. Accepting criticisms during growth, displaying kindness in adversity.

No one likes you for no reason

R: We will talk about your experiences as an artist, when did you realize that you are famous? How did you feel?

XZ: Last summer, after seeing that there were more people who supported and liked me, very thankful and grateful. My father told me since young “no one likes you for no reason”, hence I hope I can live up to everyone’s like.

R: When you first entered the entertainment business, what goal did you hope to attain?

XZ: Actually my thoughts were very simple then, that is work hard to do the best in the competition, and hope to receive more recognition.

R: In being an artist, what did you feel is the most toilsome?

XZ: Every profession has its own toils, I treat my work very seriously, hardship is actually something you cannot avoid. If I really have to say something as toilsome, then it will be how I face the complex environment.

R: Many felt that you became famous overnight, but actually you already participated in several different dramas, how was your condition like then? What desires did you have for the future?

XZ: Actually there were not much difference, previously I just hoped that I always have jobs, have the opportunity to contact better roles, now is just work seriously, act properly, live everyday to the fullest. Continue on the path of an actor.

R: How did you learn performance? Where there any experience that was especially memorable?

XZ: At the start, I had no concept with regards to performance, later on I also took performance classes, with directions from performance teachers. The experience that was especially memorable was during the shooting of “The Wolf”, there was a crying scene on the highlands, a night scene, and it needed to rain, but that time, no matter what I did, I could not cry.

R: What do you think the relationship of front stage and back stage is?

XZ: I feel that front stage and back stage is not a type of relationship, but is the same job. Without the serious work and support of the backstage, the front stage will not be able to become better.

R: The character Wei Wuxian gave you a lot of glory as well as some controversy, how did you view the role?

XZ: I treat every role I have acted in seriously and with deep respect, because their story are all alternate lives that I would never experience. And portraying these characters, I really hoped that we can achieve success mutually, and win the recognition and love from the audience. I am lucky and thankful to have participated in a part of Wei Wuxian’s life, and this role also became an important part of my acting career. Also I am very grateful to the hard work from all the staff as part of this creative work, and gifted this character vitality. All these creative artists gave me the chance, and allowed me as an actor, using my own thoughts and performances, to bring forth the character Wei Wuxian, even more vividly in front of the general audiences.

R: With regards to “work”, how do you define it?

XZ: I feel that a piece of work is not just the result of a person’s hard work, behind it are also everyone’s sacrifices and creation. Currently, I don’t think I have any piece of noteworthy work, hence I cherish every opportunity to participate in creative work, and also treat every job seriously, in the future I will do my best in singing and acting.

R: The journey of fame, how did you establish your confidence, from inexperience to mature?

XZ: It is definitely a slow process. Actually it is just like that lyric in my new song “All traces passed by turned into light spots.” That is when you encounter difficulties, from it you learn and grow, the accumulation of every step, you are always on the path of growing.

R: In facing the exhaustion from work, the disturbances from the outside world, do you feel that fame is a double edged sword? How do you hope to be viewed by the outside world?

XZ: I feel that anything has its pros and cons, I have already learnt to handle it with common sense, I hope that I am still the same initial me, to be able to maintain humility and politeness.

R: Are you afraid of the uncertainty of life? Do you have insecurities?

XZ: Of course I am. Life is made up of a lot of uncertainties, many times I would also feel insecure, but isn’t the unknown life’s greatest challenge? The feeling of “singing as you walk” is great.

Be yourself, actions speak louder than words

R: You once said in an interview that you do not want to be a perfect person, can you explain what you meant?

XZ: I feel that no one can be perfect, neither can I.

R: Actor, artist and traffic celebrity, what do you think the difference are in these terms?

XZ: Actor is my career, artist and traffic celebrity, to me, are just a label, that is on every public figure. I will do the best for my job, in the future I will be even more serious in my singing, acting, and continue to bear whatever social responsibility I should bear.

R: You once said that communication is very important, now that you are too famous, will this bring about difficulties in communication?

XZ: The changes in my identity definitely brought along some inconveniences, but to my friends, my family and me, the communication has always remained the same. In facing those who like me and support me, I feel that I am communicating with them via my works, hence I will humbly accept all good intent criticisms and corrections on my profession.

R: You did not change your Weibo account after your debut, and also said that that you are very real, and you want to show everyone the real you. To the public who do not understand you, what do you have to say?

XZ: I always said, I am not a perfect person, but that does not prevent me from working hard towards becoming a better person. I am a more direct person, I also wanted to present the real me to everyone, hence I never considered changing my Weibo account, those were all my experiences and memories, the testament to my growth. I will not use youth or commoner as an excuse.

I started using Weibo when I was 19 or 20 years old, when I was still young and a commoner, and I said some very inappropriate words or opinions that are unacceptable now, and it probably did cause trouble or hurt to others. Hence I also wanted to say, after reflecting, to those who were hurt by these opinions, I express my most sincere apologies. If I could use my current experience and sensibleness back then, I would definitely respect everyone’s effort in their work, and will not comment rashly.

R: Your Weibo used to be very lively, full of witty words, you also liked to snatch the top comment on your own posts, and interacted with your fans, but later on, these posts were generally non existent, almost as if your image became flat, how do you feel?

XZ: Just representing myself only, I feel that the image on social media cannot encompass an entire person, that is only an outlet. I am always willing to communicate with everyone, but I am also afraid to bother others, if the effect of bother becomes greater than sharing, that would be something that I very much would not want to see.

#xiao zhan #sean xiao #xiaozhan #肖战

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