#i remembered I hate seafood and also that it could lead to me dying so

[ubdq-multiverse]

Roland/Vision

Vision

“No! EM!”

It was just supposed to be a simple scouting mission. They were supposed to find the hilichurl camp, report it on their maps, maybe clear it out if they thought they could handle it. Of course, they could, between the four of them, three had visions. Roland understood he was the only one without it, but he was just as strong as the rest of them. So they made the effort and cut down the camp without much issue.

There wasn’t supposed to be a ruin guard.

They knew their limits. If it was just the guard, they could’ve handled it. They had enough ranged members, and the strength to take it down if they managed to stun it. But after a lengthier battle, as well as being surprised, they couldn’t fight it.

Roland watched his partner fly through the air, having been hit by the large rock fist as it spun like a top. He felt in that moment like he’d been hit too, heart sinking in terror as he watched the pyro-user he was in love with hit one of the large trees with a force that nobody could just walk away from.

His eyes darted between the giant and his lover, debating if it was worth trying to fight. His fellow friends, the hydro catalyst wielder making their best effort to keep the creature distracted and at bay, while his sister, the cryo bow-woman, took shots at the creatures eye in attempt to stun it.

His sword fell from his hands, deciding the battle wasn’t worth it. He raced towards his long-haired ally, crumpled against the base of the tree like a sack of rocks. By some miracle, or perhaps a curse, the man was still breathing, albeit raged and visibly pained.

The sight was awful, but he knew he didn’t want to abandon him to his suffering. There had to be a chance, some way to save him, but even just glancing at the twisted form and collapsed ribcage of his lover, he knew there was no way he was making it through this.

“Ro...” The man tried to speak, but the effort made him need to cough, which then lead to more pained noises. The visionless rested his hand on the man’s shoulder, gazing up from his knelt position.

“Shh...” He whispered, reaching to clasp both his hands. “Don’t talk, just... just breathe, okay?” He could see the dubious gaze in the injured man’s eyes, and it took all his effort not to just break down crying. Now wasn’t the time to mourn what he was losing. “We... we’ll get someone, we have to. We-we’ll get Barbara, she’ll come and she’ll heal you up. It’ll take a while but you’ll be good as new. You just need to hang on, alright Em?” The pained man nodded, gazing into his desperate companions eyes.

He quickly glanced behind him, looking to the fight. It was that moment the ground shook with the weight of the guard landing after a leap. His sister took the catalyst-user and pulled them out of the way, just in time to avoid the impact of the fists. He gave her a look that asked all he needed to know, to which she nodded in confirmation. She was giving them time.

Another cough drew his attention back to his beloved and he quickly placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to keep him from rocking back and forth and further injuring himself. “It-it’ll be okay. We’ll get you home, baby.” God, he could feel the usually-warm touch fading into a normal, if not slightly cold, temperature. No no no. “I’ll spend every day with you in the chapel, okay? I-I’ll try and make that soup you like, what was it? The calla lily seafood soup. It won’t be the best, but I’ll do it. I-I’ll hold you hand and kiss you goodnight, and...” He could see the effort behind his partner’s eyes, all his energy being put into just staying alive.

God, he could feel the blood caking his forearm and hands.

“I’ll sing you that song you like, the... the one edgy one Venti sings. I’ll do all the chores and clean everything up, even though I don’t wanna. I’ll do everything, I’ll baby the shit out of you, okay? Just, just stay, okay? We’ll bring Barbara. You’re gonna be okay.” He was lying. They both knew it. Part of him wondered if his partner knew it from the desperation in his voice or by his own pain.

“Ro...” He didn’t cough this time, just tried to swallow the blood he wanted so desperately to expel. “I love you. S-” A pause as he tried again to breathe, the pain greatly increasing. He wasn’t keeping air, his rib likely punctured one or both of his lungs. “So much.” He tried to raise a hand, but he didn’t have the strength to lift his hand. Noticing this, he let out a small bit of air, opting instead to rub his thumb on his partner’s hand. “D-don’t l-listen to him. T-this isn’t... n-not y-your faul...t.”

God, he couldn’t believe this miracle of a man was still trying to comfort him, when he was the one dying. He was scared of death, they both knew, and here it was, taking him. And his priority was him. Him and what their ex-friend had told him months ago.

Tears began streaming down his face. “B-but I’m the one who wandered too far, Emerson. If I didn’t... it wouldn’t’ve found us. I should’ve paid more attention, and...” Emerson clutched his hand with his fading strength, drawing his attention.

“N-not... yo...ur... f-fault.” He insisted with his waning consciousness. His gaze was drifting, and he seemed to notice, flicking his eyes back towards his partner with a pained smile. “K-kiss me?”

Even now he remembered his stupid joke he always said, a dumb attempt at comfort all those times before. I’d be okay dying if I had your lips on mine. It was always said in jest, for those times when he didn’t want to stop kissing because he needed air. He couldn’t believe this stupid man was bringing it up even now.

He wasn’t one to deny his request. Tears welling in his eyes, Roland pulled a hand from the bloody pile, resting it gently to his partner’s cheek. He leaned into it, thankful for the contact but likely also a chance to not have to support himself. In a horrible, tormented moment, he pressed his lips to Emerson’s, a gesture he melted into.

He felt the man’s eyes flutter closed. He felt the man’s breath stop coming from his nose. He felt the moment the man’s weight was held only by his hand.

He hated this.

He pulled away, tears streaming down his face as he looked at the body of the man he loved. The body. There wasn’t life anymore, there wasn’t the man he’d spend two years loving. There was just a body, a lifeless shell; a memory.

He let out a pained sob, resting his head on the shoulder, desperately clinging to his hands as if clutching them hard enough would bring his life back.

He didn’t hear when the sounds of elements and arrows dulled behind him. He didn’t hear the loud steps of the monster that took his partner. All he heard was his own sobs.

Hot.

The sensation surprised him, and he jerked his entire body away from the corpse of the man. It took a second for him to realize what it was he felt: a burning pain on the side of his pinky, as if he’d touched a burning hot iron. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he slowly crawled forward, eyes darting around in an attempt to solve the mystery.

“Roland!” His sister’s voice piped up behind him, but he didn’t care. He need to know. What if it was something to bring him back? He began searching the body for the source of the pain.

“Roland!” The voice spoke again, this time with a tug on his shoulder. He spun around to see the pale face of his sister, standing right next to him with a look of alarm. “We have to go! We can’t keep fighting!”

He yanked his arm from his sister’s grasp, a confused and frustrated groan falling from her lips. When his eyes landed back on the body of his beloved, he saw it.

The vision.

The glowing red orb around the man’s waist had dulled with his life, but now it was nearly glowing hot orange. In desperate confusion, he reached down, trying to remove it from the corpse. He was desperate, he needed it.

“Roland!” Came his sister’s voice again. He didn’t care.

He held it in his hand, a white-hot pain flowing through his entire arm. It spread to his entire body, but he didn’t care. He needed this. If not as a momento, than a solution for this mystery.

His sister didn’t cry out a fourth time, as he saw his body engulf in flames. The pain had gone, or at least numbed, but the flames were very much alive around him. He didn’t even put together what was happening, it was like his body moved on its own.

Roland rose to his feet and approached his weapon with a rage unlike anything he’d ever felt before. His sword in one hand, the red orb in the other, his gaze fell upon the giant structure that had felled his partner. “COME AT ME, YOU STUPID FUCK!”

When the large, glowing eye landed on him, he didn’t hesitate.

[skyerana]

tagged by @ashipwreckcoast​ for a question thinger. I’m bored out of my skull and I like these questions so here you go. You should do it. Yes, you. Why? Because? I don’t have real reazons.

Putting this under a cut because its long and I don’t want to clog up your dash.\

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? Black, specifically Pilot G2 pens. But really? I like a good dark dark green. My dog ate my favorite pen and I haven’t been able to find one in that color since.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I’ve sort of done both. I love living in a city, with all the vibrancy and life that it entails. There’s public transit, arts and culture, so many kinds of food, interesting people and always something going on. But for the last few years, I’ve been wanting to get back to something like where I went to school, where I lived for 7 months on a lake and the next closest people (besides us 9) were 5 miles away (the road up to the field station was 2 miles by itself and we got snowed in and flooded in on more than one occasion). I miss being close to deep nature and the peace that comes from being alone.

So which do I prefer? I don’t really know. I’ve been living back in a city for the past eight years but I’m feeling like its time for a change. I don’t think I’ll leave cities forever though. I like people and diversity too much.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? For fun, I’d want to pick up leatherworking, blacksmithing, and/or woodworking. I’m currently not set up well to do any of them though. For practicality though, I’d want to learn general house maintenance.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Depends on the tea, but often yes. Coffee gets an obscene amount of hazelnut creamer because I hate coffee but I love caffeine.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? The Hobbit. My dad and step-dad both read it to me at different points of my childhood and my dad gave me his copy (The Hobbit or There and Back Again, 1977 Illustrated edition)

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. Baths are well and good if you have a big enough one (which I don’t) and you don’t stay in so long it gets cold (I don’t).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Upon reading this question, every single mythical creature that I’d ever read about immediately vanished from my memory. I’m going to have to come back to this one.

I came back to this one and I still don’t know. I like the idea of flying. But I don’t really want to be hunted out to extinction.

8. Paper or electronic books? I love paper books, but I read much better via ebook. I still haven’t read Gideon the Ninths because the pages are so soft I just sit and pet them instead of read.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? BOXERS! Or rather, boxer-briefs. I know this sounds weird but bear with me. For some reason, when I started transitioning, it did not occur to me to buy mens underwear. When I finally did, It Was Amazing. I looked great. I felt great. I finally understood why so many people had “fun” underwear that they liked. Before, I had like one or two that had patterns/stuff on them. Now? I’ve got Star Wars and Captain Marvel and Deadpool and mountains and mushrooms and one with boxers that makes me laugh because there’s boxers on boxers!! And I can wear them whenever the fuck I want! So I always have something fun on, even (especially) if other folks can’t see it. Switching to boxers was such a weirdly affirming thing for my gender and I love it.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? This is complicated. I like my legal name, sure, but its not me, not really. I did get the spelling updated on it legally when I was 16 so I could actually get my driver’s license. I haven’t had a chance to change my legal name since transitioning (between the election and COVID, I don’t know that I’d get through all of the legal rigmarole in time to vote in November), but I really like my chosen name and an altered version of my legal name will be my new middle name.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I’ve had so many over the years. I learn so much from people, but I had so many great mentors when I worked at the museum. Timshel stands out. If I can be half the mentor she is to someone, I’ll have put some real solid good into the world. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? No. Not in the everyone knows you sense. That’s not my jam. I wouldn’t mind having fame more in the sense of within a tiny field, being well known and respected.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Yes... to the point where I’m seeing a sleep specialist in a month to sort it out.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Very much so. But there’s so many different ways to be romantic.

15. Which element best represents you? I hate these questions. I see bits of myself in all of the elements. People often associate me with air or water though.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Distance wise, my family in California. I come from a bunch of very close knit families and so having folks on the other side of the country that I’m super close with is ihard.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? “Everyone. Being solitary by choice as opposed to demand is a big difference.” I’m just going to leave @ashipwreckcoast​‘s response here because it fits. I’m very lucky that I am still working in a (relatively) safe environment, but we’re all missing out on things like throwing a housewarming party for one of my closest friends/coworkers. Even though we see each other almost daily, we’re still missing out on a lot that we’d normally do. That’s even worse for folks I’m not seeing at all because of COVID.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I legit thought I was a wolf and would howl at the neighbors when mom packed me into the wagon to go do laundry at the laundromat. The neighbors, being good people, howled back.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? There have been a few times where I wasn’t sure what I was eating. One was at a wedding with 10 or 12 courses (I lost count) and some of them were foods I’d never seen before. I know jellyfish was on that list but there was a bunch of other stuff that I don’t know what it was. The few times I’ve been out of the country, I ate stuff I couldn’t identify (often due to language barriers). The seafood soup at the one place was just whatever they caught that day and it had a lot in it. I remember being disappointed in my fellow grad students when some of them turned it down. You don’t turn down food when you’re a guest unless you have a medical reason for doing so. But the thing is, none of these are strange, except by the US standards. So if that’s true, then the deep fried dragonfly should also be on this list. 

20. What are you most thankful for? Most? That’s so hard to quantify. If I really think about it, it’s things like having a loving partner and a home and food and the ability to pay my bills, I guess.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do not like capsaisin related spices but I love horseradish type spices. I do liked well spiced, but not necessarily spicy, foods.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? A few times. Sometimes at the museum (worked with some of them). Sometimes at special events, like attending lectures.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? Generally no. I do sometimes get the urge to write and reflect on stuff, so I’ll do that when the mood strikes.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? I’ve been trained to use pens for everything (I work in a chem lab). Pencils are fine, but you need the right kind for the satisfying scratchiness. I cannot abide scratchiness in my pens.

25. What is your star sign? Cancer. Why is this important?

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Not super soggy but not straight out of the box crunchy. Does that make sense?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I  want my legacy to be built on kindness and helping others. I know that’s cheesy and cliche, but I have so much privilege that I want to use to benefit others.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love reading. I’m on book 30 for the year. The last one I finished was Starsight by Brandon Sanderson, which is book 2 of 3 of the Skyward series and HE HASN’T STARTED BOOK 3 YET!! I read Skyward and Starsight in four days total.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I often cook for them.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Only for certain things. I don’t mind drinking most drinks at room temperature and ice waters stuff down. It’s good for iced tea though, but only if you need to cool it.

31. What are you afraid of? This isn’t a fair question. I’m afraid of being abandoned or fucking things up. I’m also afraid of spiders and the milk in my fridge expiring. I’m afraid of filling out forms (forms are really hard and make me extremely anxious). I’m afraid of phone calls, but I’m good at them. I’m afraid of public speaking, but you’d never know it unless I told you. I’m afraid of losing the people I love, of dying without having put some good into the world. I’m afraid for my neighbors, for my brothers and sister, for my niece. The world is overwhelmingly scary right now.

32. What is your favourite scent? Campfires, the smell of a fresh spring rain, leather, the weird musky scent of my kitten, of garlic and onions cooking low and slow. There’s too many.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? Depends on who and in what context I know them.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel a lot more. I’d donate to a lot of things. Museums, arts, individuals. I’d love to just go on to gofundme and just straight up fund folks to their goals plus a bit extra. And then go figure out where the systematic failures were that lead to them not being able to afford it in the first place.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Ocean. Absolutely. But this is also lake and river erasure.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? I guess exchange it for USD.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah. They’re magical every time.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? Be kind. To yourself and others.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I’ve got several I want. I was supposed to get an anchor with an octopus chilling on it on my inner forearm for my one year anniversary on testosterone but then COVID hit and well... who know when I‘ll get it.

40. What can you hear now? Mostly just the AC and the tack of the keys on the keyboard. Occasionally a particularly loud vehicle makes itself known.

41. Where do you feel the safest? Curled up with my partner and dog.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Probs my anxiety.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

44. What is your most used emoji? The crying laughing one. I survive on sending stupid memes and shit back and forth with too many people. After that, the heart.

45. Describe yourself using one word. Oof

46. What do you regret the most? Not trusting myself when I figured out I was trans back in undergrad. That whole decade of burying it all and internalizing a lot of transphobia really did a number on myself.

47. Last movie you saw? I think it was Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

48. Last tv show you watched? Rewatching Avatar with my partner right now. We just finished She-Ra.

49. Invent a word and its meaning. I just... I don’t know. I’m a Webster. I just compile what other people say in a book.

[omar-199x-blog]

first and last time ill post about myself (maybe)

* 1: name omar * 2: Age 19 * 3: Fears oblivion * 4: 3 things I love Food, Art, my girl * 5: turn ons my girl * 6: turn offs everyone else * 7: My best friend savannah then james 2nd just cause he knows me well * 8: Sexual orientation i am a male. penis and all. * 9: My best first date dont remember * 10: How tall am I 5'7 ish lol * 11: What do I miss the way holidays use to feel * 12: What time were I born an inconvenient one * 13: Favourite color lol black, red, grey * 14: Do I have a crush no i have a gf * 15: Favourite quote you get what you give * 16: Favourite place i hate crowds lol but i love the city especially during arts festivals * 17: Favourite food anything home made, steak and seafood are both at the top * 18: Do I use sarcasm when im using english * 19: What am I listening to right now Migos * 20: First thing I notice in new person how much they talk and what about * 21: Shoe size 10.5 US * 22: Eye color brown * 23: Hair color black * 24: Favourite style of clothing ummm... shit if its black, fits loose and is casual enough for hang outs but also stylish for dinner dates, you set * 25: Ever done a prank call? once and the cops came saying it wasnt funny * 27: Meaning behind my URL its my name and i was born in the 90's *shrug* * 28: Favourite movie i love all kinds of movie its hard to pick a favorite * 29: Favourite song gold steps / Neck Deep * 30: Favourite band BMTH/NeckDeep/Deftones * 31: How I feel right now annoyed as always * 32: Someone I love savannah marie * 33: My current relationship status almost a years worth of lovin * 34: My relationship with my parents all up in my life * 35: Favourite holiday christmas/thanksgiving * 36: Tattoos and piercing i have none and none but coming soon * 37: Tattoos and piercing i want a thigh piece that'll be across both a chest piece of the quote i put up there ears and nose but my girl dont like the idea of my nose * 38: The reason I joined Tumblr it was cool in 2013 * 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? lol kat is a bitch for leading me on into a relationship i thought she was actually gonna dedicate to * 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? texts and phone calls from my gf * 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? all the time * 42: When did I last hold hands? last time i saw savannah * 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where im headed to * 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? not in the past 19 years * 45: Where am I right now? on bluemound omw to work * 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? savannah we usual go out together * 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? loud unless we chillin and talkin * 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? about to be neither in like a week but my dad * 49: Am I excited for anything? moving out, tattoos, painting, cooking, working out * 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? savannah * 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? ehh if im mad u can tell * 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? told my grandparents bye while leaving for work * 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? id go crazy and probably kill both of them * 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lol yeah cause he dont keep secrets well * 55: What is something I disliked about today? i didn't see sav * 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? André3000, Big Boy, Johnny Depp, Lenny Kravitz, and Post Malone lol ;Posty because he from round my city so we could vibe easily * 57: What do I think about most? life and how im failing or acing it * 58: What’s my strangest talent? it wouldnt be strange to me so idk * 59: Do I have any strange phobias? fuck caterpillars, fuck slugs, and snails whatever phobia that is * 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? haha both but im usually behind it * 61: What was the last lie I told? im not hungry * 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? otp cause idk what to do with my face on facetime * 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes theres greater and more advanced beings than us and also souls dude they can choose to stay or go so like duh * 64: Do I believe in magic? yeah * 65: Do I believe in luck? ya * 66: What’s the weather like right now? breezy i work outside so perfect * 67: What was the last book I’ve read? i start books and halfway start another * 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? FCUJ YES lol idk why its like dude i should be getting high of this smell but its not making me high wtf * 69: Do I have any nicknames? omii (oh-me) , catfish , choncho * 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? broke my arm, nose, and ankle * 71: Do I spend money or save it? both when needed * 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no * 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? what? no * 74: Favourite animal? red pandas * 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? at work * 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? sama * 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? hey ya / outkast * 78: How can you win my heart? being sav * 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? "See ya later losers" * 80: What is my favorite word? trudge * 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr um idk their specific url's but i follow a graffiti one, a music one, a painting one, and some others similar to these * 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? stop with all the hate man, if someone isn't harming you or effecting your life specifically let them be. let people do what they want to do and dont harm. thats it. * 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? did, he passed away. * 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? teleportation * 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? if im hungry because its a yes 100% of the time * 86: What is my current desktop picture? my uncle who passed away * 87: Had sex? ya * 88: Bought condoms? ya * 89: Gotten pregnant? not possible * 90: Failed a class? ya * 91: Kissed a boy? no * 92: Kissed a girl? ya * 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? ya * 94: Had job? ya * 95: Left the house without my wallet? yes * 96: Bullied someone on the internet? lol ya * 97: Had sex in public? no * 98: Played on a sports team? ya * 99: Smoked weed? ya * 100: Did drugs? ig * 101: Smoked cigarettes? yea * 102: Drank alcohol? yerp * 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nah nah i love steak * 104: Been overweight? still am * 105: Been underweight? yea * 106: Been to a wedding? yes * 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? i guess maybe * 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea * 109: Been outside my home country? yes * 110: Gotten my heart broken? i suppose * 111: Been to a professional sports game? yes * 112: Broken a bone? a couple * 113: Cut myself? by accident * 114: Been to prom? yea * 115: Been in airplane? yes * 116: Fly by helicopter? nah * 117: What concerts have I been to? Kevin Gates, Big Sean, Jeremih, Carnage, RaeSremmurd, Post Malone, Russ, Future, J Cole * 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? hella nah * 119: Learned another language? spanish * 120: Wore make up? for theater * 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? yes * 122: Had oral sex? yes * 123: Dyed my hair? no * 124: Voted in a presidential election? no * 125: Rode in an ambulance? recently * 126: Had a surgery? yes * 127: Met someone famous? yes * 128: Stalked someone on a social network? no * 129: Peed outside? yes * 130: Been fishing? many times * 131: Helped with charity? yea * 132: Been rejected by a crush? dont think so * 133: Broken a mirror? no * 134: What do I want for birthday? an apartment * 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 4 - 2 boys first 1girl then another boy i only know my first sons name will be Aiden * 136: Was I named after anyone? no * 137: Do I like my handwriting? hell nah * 138: What was my favourite toy as a child? headphones * 139: Favourite Tv Show? shameless, Friends, family guy * 140: Where do I want to live when older? on my own * 141: Play any musical instrument? no * 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? forearm surgery 2 plates 11 screws * 143: Favourite pizza toping? pepperoni * 144: Am I afraid of the dark? sometimes * 145: Am I afraid of heights? no * 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? yes plenty * 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? eh life * 148: What I’m really bad at life * 149: What my greatest achievments are finding my gf * 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: idk * 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery get tf outta here and go be alone * 152: What do I like about myself theres only one me * 153: My closest Tumblr friend none * 154: Something I fantasise about eat food from around the world * 155: Any question you’d like how was my day? eh i woke up at 2pm and haven't had any food yet so im pretty grumpy

[rueur]

Morning Pages #38 (01.03.2017)

Wednesday 1st March - 8:53 p.m.

YES! I know. Not the morning. It’s been a couple of days since I last wrote, yes. I know. I’m listening to Ed Sheeran’s newest single right now. It’s called ‘How Would You Feel’ and it’s amazingly corny but Evan showed it to me and he said that it was somewhat describing what he’s been feeling lately. And if that’s true, then he’s far more of a romantic than I had initially thought. The last two dates we’ve had - when he came to Quarry Hills and we watched the sunrise and now my birthday - we’ve stayed up rather late just talking, just enjoying each other’s company. The thing is though, is that this kind of wanting to stay awake with somebody, killing sleep because you can’t get enough of that other person’s company, this was something I’ve only ever had with Malith and with Malith it was more because we recognised each other as kindred spirits in a more familial way. With Evan, it feels like a soul connection. It really does, and I can’t entirely explain it and I don’t think that he can either. Everything about this just screams destiny, like meeting him was a big smack in the face from the universe, the rhythmic, cosmic order of this space we inhabit just letting me know that he and I were meant to be spending these nights together, staring lovingly at each other and ignoring the rest of the world. The past month or so has been the most intense, most memorable experience. Falling in love with him was like being hit by a car and dying straight on impact, like it just happened. Immediate and so perfect you could legitimately argue that it had to be fated.

I spent the day with him in Thornbury for my birthday, well by day I mean from about half past six till we caught the train back to South Morang at half past midnight. We had dinner at a Thai restaurant on St Georges Road, which was actually pretty lovely. I had the Pad Khee Mao and he had the Prik Khing, I think. But it was with seafood and pineapple chunks, like he essentially got the thai equivalent of a burger with the lot. The issue with this was that he was too full to help me finish my food, because of course I left some over. Not because I was too full, but mostly because I’m a slow as fuck eater and I always feel bad when he needs to wait for me to finish. I feel that way whenever anybody needs to wait for me to finish, really.

I just took a break to sing for a little bit, sorry. I was supposed to do a lot more writing today; I was supposed to do a lot more of everything today. I at least went to the gym, but I’m yet to do any reading and I need to do it like right after I finish writing up these pages because I have a very early start tomorrow morning, I mean early for me because it means being at South Morang station and on the train before 7:30 a.m. to get to my 9 a.m. journalism tutorial. I’m already a little iffy about this subject to be honest with you. The textbook reads like it was an absolute piece of piss to write, and it was $83, and that was with my co-op discount too. Thankfully my ASG came in on my birthday, so I had the money to pay for it and to top up my myki pass too. And to renew my travel concession! That cost nine dollars! FOR A LITTLE BIT OF LAMINATED PAPER? Goodness, PTV. You’re really scrounging for spare change here, aren’t you? I got a bit sidetracked here, I know, but this is supposed to be stream-of-consciousness. I feel like I say that a lot, and there’s a high chance that I do in fact say that a lot in these pages, but I also feel like I need to keep reminding myself because this reads so much like a diary. I just feel like if I’m going to indulge myself with this kind of writing, I might as well use it to record some of my memories and thus, remember them a lot clearer and for a lot longer. I’m at least grateful I started doing this right before I met Evan, like a week before I met Evan, because I want to remember everything from this past month and a half. I don’t want to forget any second I’ve spent with him and am yet to spend with him. He just texted me, two hearts. I haven’t been very communicative today, like he sent me a message at noon today and it was two before I replied to it. I said I got caught up in my work, even though today was a day off uni and he knows that today is a day off uni for me. To be fair, I kind of did get caught up in work, like it was an honest albeit shitty excuse. I was at the gym, having finished my workout before I messaged him back. He was telling me to catch the Route 1 or 8 tram to his house rather than take the train, because then I wouldn’t have to go all the way to Flinders St from uni, I can just catch the tram straight out of the city. We’ll see if it’s fast, I mean I have a feeling that the tram might be slow during peak hour traffic, and considering that my last class finishes at around six tomorrow, it’s highly likely that I’ll already be getting to his in the nick of time. I’m going to go and see him play basketball tomorrow night, and also I’ll be going to his HOUSE before that so I’ll be meeting his parents tomorrow as well, which is only just a little bit terrifying. As a result of this terror, I spent most of the morning trying to fix my pimple scars. I had a massive breakout after Manasha died, and the aftermath of it is still quite plain on my face, on my nose in particular. I hate the pimple scar on my nose right now. It’s an enormous splotch that has gotten me feeling incredibly self-conscious for the past week or so. I really want it to disappear right now, but I know that even if it does I’ll still feel self-conscious, because my body is also currently covered in a large number of mosquito bite splotches. We’re talking nine or ten down the length of my right arm, and three on my left, four on my right leg, and three on my left. Oddly there are far less mosquito bites on the left side of my body, which I only just realised now after writing this. Hmm. I also have a number of splotches at the base of my spine, from the pimple outbreak. And I just had my period. Oh, my period finally came. It came on Friday the day after the poetry slam and Evan’s birthday, so I had it on my birthday. Which was a shame, because Evan actually stayed at mine on Monday night. We spent some time enjoying each other’s company after dinner in a park near his house, and then he was supposed to ride home with me (he bought his bike along) from Mill Park back to his house in Thornbury. But when he got to mine ammi was still up and heard our plans, and insisted that he sleep over and then leave in the morning because she didn’t want him to be out on the street. Evan only agreed to it because he wanted to ‘stay in her good books’, although he needed to be home to buy J. Cole tickets, which were going to be available at 11:30 the next morning. Anyway, I brought down my grey blanket and my thickest pillow and made up a bed for him on the couch, and then changed into my pyjamas and then get him company downstairs for what was supposed to be a little while but as you could’ve already guessed, didn’t turn out to be a little while. Like we spent 7 hours together the night we watched the sunrise, we spent about ten hours together on my birthday. From 1 to about half past four in the morning, we were pretty much just talking/making out on the couch and we were pretty much on the verge of having sex, like he had been keeping a condom in his wallet since we’d started going out and he pulled that condom out and was like ‘let’s do it’, and I had to remind him that I was on my period and that we were downstairs in my family home, and that we absolutely couldn’t. We might be doing something this weekend though, I mean I don’t know. We got really into it on Monday night, I mean he was on top of me at one point and my hands were up his shirt and he was pulling me to him and I was pushing myself up to him and we just wanted our bodies to be as close as possible. At one point, he told me to take the lead and that little experiment ended up with my on top of him again and his hands were all over me. He ran them up and down my body with such tenderness, until he got to my breasts. He held them for a second, again with such a firm delicateness, and then he started kissing them and I just melted, I swear to you. I was clinging to him, I couldn’t not touch him.  He felt so wonderful, so warm and firm and when he was holding me, it just felt so right, it felt like I was finally in a place that I’d been searching my entire life to find. I don’t even say this lightly, I am so in love with him. And I know it’s weird, being this in love with a person when my last relationship had really only just PROPERLY ended like two or so months ago, because Ikaros and I were still intimate after we’d broken up like that’s weird, but I just can’t help but feel like something is very right here. Everything is clicking together. I actually thought I was going insane when I was talking to ammi about this yesterday evening after uni, but the thing is is that I had to tell her. I didn’t want to, like I don’t really like encouraging her prying into my personal life, but I just needed to know I wasn’t crazy. She did reassure me a little bit, by letting me know that whenever she prayed for me, a voice in her head would tell her not to because I was going to be just fine on my own, and that I would realise things on my own. About people. About Ikaros. And about Evan. About what I’m being given and what I deserve. Evan has been treating me with nothing but love and kindness, and I do not question whether or not he cares for me at all because he proves it every day. ALREADY.

I told Evan a little more about Ikaros on Monday night, and about how the relationship was very much for his sake rather than mine for most of last year, and about how it became unhealthy because of that imbalance. I told him that I wasn’t really treating myself well nor was Ikaros treating me well by the end. Evan told me about his ex too, and that story was rife with drama. I actually felt rather bad for him when he was telling me about it, because it all seemed like such an unnecessary ordeal that he put himself through because he wanted to believe in the power of love, which is definitely something I can relate to. I did love Ikaros, and I don’t believe I do anymore but I know that in time, I can love him again in a far greater way, a far more beneficial way for the both of us. We were definitely in love, but that love was never strong enough to make us look past our different characters and values. With Evan, it seems like I won’t have that issue. Of course it’s too premature to say anything, but I can’t help but remember how I realised all the red flags with Ikaros pretty much a month or so into being with him. It’s been a month with Evan now and in that time, we’ve ACTUALLY been together which is a massive tick, but we’ve also experienced no real character clashes. Everything seems to be rather in sync.

[an-accidental-testament]

A run-down bar in the Harbour. The Leaky Dinghy. It’s full of the usual, rich people to get a thrill from drinking in a seedy bar, and criminals who can’t afford any better. You sometimes wonder if any of the “criminals” are paid actors, and wonder if you could get that kind of gig. You certainly look grimy enough. That’s the last time you’ll ever take a job in the sewers, you tell yourself. You know it won’t be, but you’re tired and cold and smell like a trog. To be fair, you probably have bits of trog on your tunic. You debate learning some cold spells, hoping for cleaner kills. You know you never will, as soon as you hear a thunderclap from outside. You don’t know how to give up the storm.

A man sits on a stool at the bar. He has dirt on his clothes, but it’s the swords at his hip that really tell you what he is. Only itchies openly carry that brazenly. You see a eight-prong on his chest, dyed red and silver. The whiskey bottle next to him seems out of place, especially with how he’s drinking it, like he’s not remotely interested in tasting it, just wanting it in his stomach. You decide not to judge him too harshly. After all, if he’s drinking that hard, he may be willing to share.

You sit down next to him, and ask him what he’s celebrating. He looks at you, and you can tell this isn’t his first bottle tonight. “Another successful raid on a kobold gang. You’ll see it tomorrow, but Dol Dorn is sending plenty of congratulations down on me and the squad.”

Of course he’s a sword of Dol Dorn, the arming swords should have been a dead giveaway, but you feel like being tired was enough of an excuse.

He doesn’t seem very happy about this, somehow. You wonder, out loud, if it was because they didn’t put up enough of a fight.

“They fought hard, and they fought to the last apprentice. Surrender is never on their minds.”

You can hear a wealth of meaning in that sentence, but it’s too late. He’s already turned back to his bottle, and you know he doesn’t want to talk about it.

You head home, letting the rain wash what you can off your clothes. You know you’ll clean them with magic later, but you’re sentimental. You remember when you first started, how you couldn’t control it, couldn’t even figure out the most basic of magic tricks. You were sure when you got it right, you could do anything you wanted, you could have your own kingdom, be lord of the sky. You tamp down those memories as you approach the ladder built into the side of a building. You climb up the bamboo rungs and crawl into the little shack built on someone’s roof. The first owners of the house below had built it to be an observatory, apparently not having heard that Stormreach earns its name. At least you get it for free, you think. Your powers got you something. Your stomach is hoping you could get some food with your ‘awesome storm powers.’ When was the last time you ate? Yesterday? Two days ago? You know it could be worse, but that doesn’t make it any better. You spend a few minutes practising what’s growing to be your favourite cantrip, and dry out your clothes and tattered beddings. Then you do one of your favourite combinations of spells, and take a bowl of rainwater, warm it, dump it on the beddings, then magically dry them. Leaves them toasty warm but still dry. You gather them up and look out on the harbour and pretend you’re in a studio apartment, with the same view. If there’s anything that makes this open-air, leaky, broken-down shack worth anything, it’s being able to look out on the water.

You lie there and indulge yourself in the dreams you had as a kid, imagining all the things you would buy when the world finally accepts your dreams. The storm lulls you to sleep, like it always has.

It was almost a week later when you see him again, and this time, you’re in a different bar, the Wayward Lobster to meet a contact. Stonejaw was saying this contact could use an extra hand for a job with one of the minor Coin Lords, and you could use the legitimacy. Could use the coin, too, but you don’t like to think about it. Maybe, you think, if you could impress a Coin Lord in this, you might get jobs of your own, and maybe you could get more consistent pay, even… You cut that line of thought off harshly. You’ve gotten your hopes up too often for that.

He’s fully cleaned up, and you think that it’s a new set of mail underneath the breastplate. He doesn’t souch with the tired drunkenness he had before, nor is he rigid like most people who wear Host marks. He sits casually, comfortably in his booth. You come up to the bar and order a Xen’Drik Daiquiri, which Stonejaw said would be the signal to your contact. The bartender recognizes this, and points you to the booth with the as-yet un-named Dol Dorn worshipper.

The seats have obviously been cleaned, repeatedly, but they never quite get the smell of the ocean out of it. The Lobster is too close to the docks, and the sailors have left the unmistakable scent of sea, sweat, and spirits in every inch of this bar.

“So you’re the firepower I asked for.”

He doesn’t mention the Leaky Dinghy, so neither do you.

“You any good?”

You take some offence at the thought, and explain to him, through gritted teeth, just how good you are. The storm writhes in your blood, and you doubt any simple paladin could understand that feeling.

He raises an eyebrow, but laughs. “More than you might think. There’s an alley down the street, leads to our next job. I’ll be at the mouth of the alley around second afternoon bell. If you think you’re good enough, show up. Oh and you might want to have a light lunch beforehand. Intel suggests there’s a trog or two in there.”

You begin to stand up, getting the sense you’ve been dismissed, but he stops you with a raised hand.

“Have you had supper yet? I was about to and I miss having a friend with me for a meal. My treat.”

You internally roll your eyes, your first thought assuming it’s another idiot thinking you’ll be his ‘ebony princess’, but your stomach reminds you you could use the meal, and he hasn’t hit on you once yet.

You sit down, and he gives a relieved smile. “So this place is best known for it’s seafood, but their wild pig roast is brilliant, especially when I’m missing home.”

You’re listening, but he barely seems to be, lost in his memories. “My biggest problem is it’s often too much food for one meal, and I hate taking my food out with me. It reminds me of all those times, with the Greenspears, saying that if I want to be a real dancer for the Darastrix, I’d have to grow more.”

That certainly catches your attention, and you cautiously ask him what Darastrix means, and why he’d be dancing for them.

“Just what the kobolds I grew up with called anyone who worshipped the Host as extensions of the old dragon gods. I’ll tell you more sometime, if you want, but Uncle likes to say that you shouldn’t talk with new coworkers about religion, sex, or money.”

That seems fair to you, and you admit to a little homesickness as well, asking if they have any alligator. You also wonder out loud if you have to get up to order food here, because it is far larger than most diners you’ve eaten at, and you see no servers.

“It’s a lot easier if you know the cook,” he points out a stout human sitting at the bar, “most people order and eat at the bar, so Mahmoud prefers to sit there, so they can hear the orders themselves.”

“Hey Mahmoud, wild pig plate and a gator soup? And for Balinor’s sake, can you keep the pig plate to the size of a plate?”

The cook chuckles knowingly, as he limps into the kitchen, grabbing a clean apron on the way. You notice his right leg is shorter than his left, and your new coworker follows your gaze. “Damned fool healer on his boat set it wrong.”

You nod-  you know that it takes more healing than anyone living in the Harbour district could afford to fix that.

A few minutes later, a prepubescent of indeterminate sex comes up to the table with a cup of tea for you, and a mug of coffee for your opposite. “Best thing about Stormreach? We’re close enough to so many sugar plantations that you can be picky about your sourcing.” He puts nearly two full spoonfuls of sugar into the coffee as he talks. “The Lobster only buys it from the Twelve-run experimental farm, which at least actually bought the land, instead of just knocking down some jungle.”

You enjoy your dinner, the soup somewhat saltier than your parents used to make, but just as spicy. You hadn't realized how much better having food from home would comfort you. But that could also be because it was the first full meal you'd had in weeks. He looks nervouslyat you as you eat, and you realize he was trying to impress you to some degree. He still hasn't made the slightest of moves on you, romantic or sexual, and you leave the diner full and curious. The rain is down to a light patter and a thick fog, rolling over the Harbour like a blanket. Sleep comes easily in warm sheets.

You meet with Stonejaw the next morning, and he smiles knowingly. "You've got a chance to get out, girl. You should take it. I'll miss having an operative who ain't afraid of heights, but you know I push my people to get better paying jobs when they can." The bear-sized half-orc chuckles into his thick coffee. He grimaces slightly, and you know it has nothing to do with the black sludge in his hand. "You figure out the price yet?" You're confused. Your temporary partner hadn't mentioned a price during the dinner, and you question your friend.

"Everything's got a price, and opportunities like this more so. Sometimes, it's just your skills that are the price. Sometimes, it's to feel all nice cause their bein' generous to a street rat. Other times, it's your ability to be all morally ambiguous, cause you're from the streets. Sometimes, it's just having a friend, and sometimes, it's sex. And you have to decide what you're up for, what works for you. I've done it, and the truth is that it's only different from fighting if you think it is. Some people decide they'll fight for money, but won't screw. Other people pick the other way around. Hells, it can change by the day. Don't feel pushed into anything you feel you ain't up for, but say no ‘cause you don't want to, not cause some preacher says no."

Your eyes harden, and you feel strangely protective. You defend your new friend to your old one, but as you're surprised by how quickly you trusted him, you resolve to ask him what exactly he wants out of you. And, you muse, what you want out of him.

An alley. You smell old scales and returned beer. You see your new.. Employer? Coworker? Friend, maybe? Standing at the mouth, humming what sounds oddly like “Ode to an Eagle,” from your childhood. His swords glean, his armour brightly polished. His eyes light up when he sees you, and you wonder if he had hired anyone else for this.

The entrance and the warren are familiar to you. You might not have been in this one, but you’ve been in a hundred others, and every kobber’s hole is the same. It is strange how deserted it is-you’re used to being greeted with threats and the pay for a job, not doing a job on them. You shake off the vague sense of wrongness about raiding the kind of people you usually work with, because you know they’d do the same if they could. You’re sure they would. You begin to remark on how quiet it is, but you see him cooing over a totem-carved torch on the wall. It looks like the usual to you-big teeth and scales, but your companion turns to you and gushes. “Look! Every tribe in cities, so far away from the Elder Wyrms, has to find their own way to venerate their Progenitors. It’s the easiest way to tell tribes apart. They’ve decorated this welcome-totem with their own scales, to imitate an Elder’s leg. It’s a brilliant idea, and whoever placed it was a true artist-they must have completely taken it all down and rearranged it every time they wanted to add more.” He continues to jabber excitedly for a few minutes, as you two walk deeper in. When, finally, you find a fortification manned by kobolds, your employer hisses at you to sheathe your weapons, and to put your hands up, like he is. His hands are open in front of him, but near the centre of his chest, pointed out, with his thumbs touching.

He speaks Draconic to the kobolds, but it sounds more like the yipping that they tend to, than the lower, rougher Draconic you’ve heard others speak. The kobolds respond angrily, shaking their weapons, and he seems to sigh, looking more like he did in the Leaky Dinghy than ever since. His hands drop to his swords, he asks whatever question he had been asking one more time, though it sounds like he already knows the answer. With one more angry yip from your targets, he grits his teeth.

Suddenly, he kicks out the support for the scaffolding they were standing on, and his swords are barely out of their sheaths when they catch a kobold in the armpit, nearly shearing through its chest. The left-hand sword draws open its throat, and one enemy is dead before the others can respond. You recover from the shock far faster, pouring a bolt of lightning into your first target-the one with a skull on its head and a staff in its hand. Only a mage really appreciates how dangerous they are. To be fair, that shaman probably appreciated how dangerous you were after it fell to the ground seizing. There are seven more that you can see- actually six, you remark as an enemy loses its spear, and the hand with it. You almost wince. You’ve seen a lot of nasty injuries, but rarely this much blood. Your next target is one that steps too close for your comfort. Too close for its comfort, too, as you place your hand on its head, and will a blast of lightning to bridge the gap between your thumb and pinky. Through the kobold’s brain.

His style is brutal and symplistic. He allows a spear thrust to splash across his breastplate and cuts twice-once to the elbow, once to the knee. The kobold screams and falls to the ground, wailing in pain. He spares a second while fighting another to kick the back of its head, knocking it out. You’re not sure if he was merciful or vicious. He has a smile on his face, wicked and broad. He raises a sword and cheers, “Dol Dorn watches! This War Wyrm fights!” As he does, you see a glow burst from his octogram, and feel a certain calmness and power in your chest. You see a spear coming for you, but the struggle to bat it aside is not as difficult as it should be, almost an instinct in your head to let it thrust past your face, and your hand comes up to the owner’s chest muscle memory pulling your strike exactly where it needs to be. You smell the burnt flesh before you realise that you cast a spell. Your blood seems alight with energy, and it takes almost no effort to call up old memories of stormy islands. You remember the feeling of your arm hair rising, and channel it at one of the remaining enemies with a thought. In the piece of your mind not occupied with the battle, you realise that you landed it perfectly on the heart. A quicker death, then. You hear no screams as its heart is fried.

You take a moment to revel in the feeling of power and control that you’re now feeling. One assumes that it is coming from your new partner, and you consider hitching your horse to his just for this power.

Power that is suddenly cut from you, and you are surrounded. Everywhere you look there are enemies-kobolds and guards alike, the Deneith soldiers that took your uncle away, and even your mother, tsking at your stupid dreams. “You’re always dreaming, child. Running away from home? Trying to use powers you don’t deserve? You’re about ten minutes from a corpse in a ditch and you deserve it for leaving us alone like this.” Stonejaw is in front of you, and he’s smiling - that cruel smile he gets when he’s played someone, and you know it’s you. “What? Did you think you would get out of this ramshackle life? You’ll always be a street rat, and you’ll never belong anywhere but the roadside we’ll drop you for thinking you’ll ever be better.” And you know this was your chance and you lost it. You didn’t impress him, and you’re gonna lose everything. The man you thought wanted to hire you walks up to you, that wicked grin on his face, and he’s laughing. And he’s grim and concerned. And he’s laughing. And he’s reaching out to your shoulders. And he’s raising his sword to finish you off like the trash you are.

“Breathe.”

You’re back in a warehouse. You’re on your knees, and they ache from the hard floor. Your new friend is holding your shoulders and looking into your eyes, and you realise his are a bronze, flecked with silver. You get to your feet, shakily. That was a mistake. You barely manage to turn to a wall before you taste the crocodile soup from last night. It’s nearly a minute before you feel like you can breathe without hurling. You feel a small canteen pushed into your hand. “Here, when you’re ready to wash out the taste.”

You are halfway through your sip when you realise it isn’t water. You’re not entirely sure what it is, but it was clearly not made for humanoid consumption- it burns your mouth worse than that cheap Gnomish baijiu Stonejaw tricked you into drinking when you first joined him. You ask what in the Hells it is, and hear a chuckle from beside you. “Wound cleaner. Most people don’t waste their time, but Atiya always used to drill in our heads that it heals better if you clean it first. You can drink it, too, if you’re desperate. Won’t kill you, but it’ll hit you faster than they usually do.”

You take a hard swig, coughing after it. You need something to calm your hands down. When you turn to him, he’s looking sympathetically at you. “First time fighting a shaman? First time that spell hits you is always the worst. You’ll never be immune to that incapacitating panic, but next time, it won’t be so shitty after.”

You nod, more out of reflex than any understanding. When you stand up straight and look to the rest of the storehouse, he seems to want to say something, think better of it, then gird himself up and say it. “If you want, you could stop. I’m reasonably sure I can take it on my own, and there’s no shame in going home after being rocked like that.” You shake your head, and tell him that you can still do this, that you’re fine. He knows you’re not, but he respects your decision.

The rest of the raid goes relatively smoothly. You stand at the back a little more, and blast the shaman you see as soon as you see them, spending more energy than you likely should, but the lightning in your veins is reassuring. You realise, sitting in the personal treasure room of the leader, that it was like he had said. They fought and died, down to the last apprentice and wyrmling. You do notice there aren’t any eggs, and ask why. He smiles wryly, “little agreement between me and the gangs. I only raid places being used as staging grounds for crimes. As long as they keep the brood nests away from these hunting bases, their eggs are safe. Not sure if my employers know about it, but I like to think they don’t care. As long as I keep any tribe from having enough power for more than small raids, they’re happy.” You admit you’re curious how a human even came to an agreement with the various kobold tribes of Stormreach, but you remember that in a way, Stonejaw and operators like you have done the same. The idea of kobbers working with any smooth-skin seems weird, but they have problems they can’t handle too, and that tends to be jobs for people like you.

“As per our agreement, you’re welcome to any loot in here you want. I’ll collect my pay from the Harbourmaster, like usual. You’ve now seen the risks of my job, the pay, and I can promise you about one raid a month on average. You’ve impressed me, and if we keep going, you’ll probably impress the Harbourmaster. You do that, and you could join me on my rounds, if you like. That point, you’ll essentially have my job too, and we could start on you getting paid the official way, and splitting the loot. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My name is Sakhesh and I’d like to hire you on a more permanent basis. How would you like to be an adventurer?”