#i remember going to see him in the tempest after season 5 finished

[booksbardsbway]

I got tagged by @sagesiren! Thanks so much and sorry this is so late! Also, this ended up way longer than expected because I’m in quarantine and I have way too much time on my hands. 

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know more about

Top 3 ships (+1 because I couldn’t decide): 

1: Steve/Peggy. These two... Yeah. I’m a sucker for any relationship built on both a.) a deep sense of mutual respect where both characters would die for the other, but also know when to get the hell out of the other’s way, and b.) a deep sense of mutual snark, where both characters are sassy as hell, but in a dry, witty sort of way. Add in a tragic backstory, some longing looks, and a few lines about dancing, and I’m a puddle, every time.

2: Outlaw Queen. One thing that I  actually really love about Once Upon a Time is how crazy you sound when you try to explain it to someone who’s never seen it. I mean, Robin Hood and the Evil Queen? What? But actually Robin and Regina are seriously the cutest. They’re both each other’s second chance at a soulmate, after an almost meeting when they were much younger, and they’re both parents who would do anything to protect their children, Plus, Regina’s super fighty and angry in an “I-ripped-your-heart-out-once-and-I’ll-do-it-again” kind of way, and it’s fun to see her reaction to Robin when he not only matches her snark one for one (I’m sensing a pattern here), but also shows her that she can be vulnerable with people again. Boom. True Love. (Oh, and that thing at the end of season 5? We don’t talk about that. Never happened.)

Side note: I picked one ship per universe, but Swanfire (also Once Upon a Time) is pretty high up there, too.

3. The Doctor/Rose. The thing about Rose Tyler is that she’s got such an amazing personal growth story. When we first meet Rose, she’s pretty much the audience stand in, as was necessary for the reboot. She has a basic retail job, she lives with her mom, and her life looks almost exactly the same day to day. She meets the Doctor, starts adventuring with him, and calls him on his shit once in a while, but once again, as was needed for the first bit of a reboot, it’s often the Doctor that has to come in, rescue Rose, and save the day. The awesome thing is that, over time, we see Rose grow, and when everything comes to a head, she ends up saving herself in her own right. I’m down to see Rose with any of the New Who Doctors, but I REALLY want to see what her and 13 would look like. Their energies would bounce off of each other in a nice way, and I would love to see how the Doctor would handle someone who knew her before. Plus, space lesbians! (And kind of off topic, but am I the only one who feels like Rose and Graham would get along swimmingly?)

4. Buffy/Angel. A slayer in love with an ensouled vampire? A comically broody hero who fights for good to atone for crimes of his past? They literally can’t be together because, one way or another, it will destroy the world? It’s classic, eye-roll inducing star crossed lovers crap, and I LOVE IT. No matter what, in my eyes, Buffy and Angel will always come back to each other. They draw comfort from one another, have each other’s backs, and have a shared tenderness and understanding of each other that only grows as the seasons go on, despite and maybe even because of, their separate growth on their own shows. I Will Remember You is probably my favorite episode of Angel or Buffy of all time, and the fight scene from the Buffy finale pretty much makes me swoon. It goes like this: Angel literally gets a punch-the-big-bad-in-the-face hero moment, and big bad goes down. When the big bad starts to get back up again, Angel moves to engage, and Buffy puts a hand out. Angel: “Oh, so one of those things you have to finish yourself.” Buffy: “Really kinda is.” Angel steps back to the background, crosses his arms and leans against a pillar. Big bad approaches. Angel to big bad: “You are so gonna lose.”

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick, 100%. Lipstick is fun, but I always get worried about smearing it or staining things.

Last song: Tug of War by Carly Rae Jepsen. It’s very hair twirly 2008 pop, and that’s kind of what I’ve been needing in the repressed craziness that is 2020.

Last Movie: The Little Mermaid? Maybe? I watched that one with my family a while ago, but honestly I haven’t seen a movie in a while. I’ve been watching a lot of Community and Critical Role, though.

Reading: Tempests and Slaughter by Tamora Pierce. I read the Immortals quartet (and all other books by Tamora Pierce) repeatedly growing up, and I’m loving the window into Numair’s backstory!

3 random things that make me happy:

1: I played D&D for the first time the other day, and it was a blast! I’m a half elf bard named Amara.

2: Even though all my classes are online and therefore kind of hard for someone who does better with in person stuff, I’m really thankful that they keep me on some kind of schedule. Plus, thanks to this poetry class I’m taking, I’m getting back into writing poetry, which I haven’t done in a while!

3: I went on a little 3 mile walk to this neighborhood pond/park, and it was lovely just to see all the flowers blooming. Magnolias, cherry blossoms, tulips, bluebells, even the little daisies. The world may be a lot right now, but at least we have Spring.

—

I tag: @screwyouiamtheavatar @emthrys @appleinducedsleep @nostalgic-idiott @katie-my-lady @magicandstarstuff  @angelatwell @thesokovianaccords @roboticonography @indiefic

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

Rose’s Captain Swan Fanfiction Treasure Trove

This mainly for my lovely friend Adira (who I JUST converted to OUAT) but might well post it for anyone who hasn’t read any of these fics. I would be surprised if they hadn’t because the majority of these have high popularity and would be what I consider classics. I love them all enough that I’ve downloaded them on my Evernote app and will reread them while I’m flying or on public transit. Anyway, these are my Top Ten favorite Captain Swan fics with my reviews/comments. Enjoy

You Play Ball Like a Girl by welllpthisishappening

Rated: M

Notable Features: Modern!AU, Boss!Killian, Slow Burn, Angst, Baseball & Killian (deadly as hell)

Author’s Description: Emma Swan had a plan. Get the story. Get the byline. Up her Twitter follower count. It was simple – she was going to take over the New York City journalism world. And she was going to do it from the sideline with a credential around her neck and a pen stuffed in her hair and a fierce determination no one was going to be able to put a dent in.It was the perfect plan.That plan just failed to factor in Killian Jones.

Rose’s Review: THIS FIC! MY GOD THIS FIC! I am in love with it and the author Laura (like full one girl crush on lovely lady. She’s just too cool and if I wasn’t engaged and she wasn’t married, I would like propose because this girl is my fanfic soulmate to the point my best friend is jealous even tho I have legit never met this woman, but that’s besides the point. I’m gonna stop embarrassing myself now. I need to shut up.) Anyway, sports centric isn’t normally a thing I go for because I’m a former athlete and the second I catch a mistake it’s an immediate turnoff, but Laura knows her shit. (Like really knows her shit. I can’t tell you how many times I cackled over her references to Melo being a selfish asshole and I love Emma and David’s rendition of the Giants/Pats rivalry! Also her reference to Derek Jeter’s walk up! OMG I promise I will stop right now but I’m so in love) However, you don’t need to love sports to love this fic, it’s just if you do it’s an added bonus. I love the development of Killian and Emma’s relationship even though the angst in this just kills me in the most delightful way. The Henry side story is honestly the best thing over and even though he’s not Emma’s son in this, the relationship between Emma, Henry and Killian really pulls at your heartstrings. I think one of the reasons I really love this fic though is how Laura handles Killian’s injury and how it affected his baseball career. It was incredibly realistic and I would know because an injury ruined my basketball career a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, so the scene where Killian is in the batting cage and hitting for the first time in a long time really hit home with me because I’ve been there. Anyway, why are you still reading this review, GO READ IT NOW! And also go read her outtake collection: Just a Bit Outside.

Breathless by AcrobatElle

Rated: E

Notable Features: Canon Divergence (Season 5), Heart Sharing, Magic, Amazing Amounts of Smut, Angst, PORN WITH FEELINGS

Author’s Description: Emma and Killian share more than just a heart.

Rose’s Review: ­To say I love smut is an understatement and I’ve been reading it long enough that I no longer have any shame in regards to it. This fic is, without a doubt, a masterclass at what we call Porn with Feelings (IT FUCKING DESTROYS ME). It’s not just smut, but emotional and creative smut which is my absolute favorite. (Dude, I legit fanned myself at Chapter 2 because it was just so smutty and hot. I almost want to beg Elle to write “that one time on the Jolly” scene because my inner perv just needs it because dom!Killian is just as much my jam as baseball!Killian is but she’s got more important things to work on. Harbor in the Tempest? GO READ IT NOW!) Also I never felt so melancholic about smut until reading the later chapters of this fic because the layers of desperation, hurt and brokenness is just so poignant that it just grips your heart. Elle in general though is just amazing at smut and everything else really (just read all of her shit. Do it. And if you’re already read her shit, read it again because she’s amazing) but this is my favorite of her work, though her Wish!Realm AU is a really, really, really close second. (Legit would have made this list if I wasn’t such a lazy bastard. I was going to rec 15 but got lazy and chopped off at 10 because I’m horrible but yeah go read Make a Wish, especially if you were not happy with Wish!Hook because I sure as hell wasn’t.)

Unbreakable by xHookedonKillianx

Rated: M

Notable Features: Canon Divergence (Season 3), Bartender!Killian, Pregnancy, Fluffy Angst, Epilogue that murders you

Author’s Description: What if Hook was able to go with Emma and Henry when they left to escape Pan’s curse? With no memory of each other or Storybrooke, Emma and Killian meet in New York as complete strangers, both with broken pasts, and both with clean slates for their future.

Rose’s Review: I feel think this fic is on every fic rec list and if it isn’t, then it should be because it’s just so well done. It’s just –whale noises- so fluffy but angsty at the same time that it really murders you in the delightful. I personally loved all the references to the monumental moments in the canon being mirrored or echoed unknowingly by Killian and Emma during their time in New York, it’s just a really cool tid bit. Honestly what I love the most about this is the Captain Cobra bonding, even more than the Captain Swan moments. The fact that Killian bonds so much with Henry to the point where they still hung out while Emma and Killian were “on a break” (I refuse to think of it as a break up and wanted to make a Friends reference because I’m lame) just murdered my soul in the best way possible. I love Henry (he’s my little munchkin so I get super annoyed when fics essentially ignore his existence. I have legit stopped reading fics before because they ignored Henry) and he is without a doubt the center of the Swan-Jones family unit in this fic. I really loved the addition of Mac as a supportive character from Killian’s past and almost wish he was featured more in the story. Also I must say this is one of the very few fics that I’ve come across where Neal isn’t a complete and utter douche canoe. This is definitely one of those fics that is like a must-read for the Captain Swanners regardless of what you think of kid!fic.

Beyond the Horizon by alexandralyman

Rated: M

Notable Features: Enchanted Forrest!AU, Pirates, Princess!Emma, Faked Married

Author’s Description: When Princess Emma's ship is captured by the Jolly Roger and Captain Killian Jones, she offers herself as a hostage for ransom if he will let the ship and the other passengers go. With Emma, Killian remembers the honour he once held dear, and Emma catches glimpses of the gentleman Killian had been. Against all odds, the pirate and the princess begin to fall for each other.

Rose’s Review: Beyond the Horizon is the first Captain Swan fic I ever read and it really set the bar high. This is fic is unfinished and I am eagerly, eagerly waiting for it to reach conclusion. I don’t normally recommend fics that aren’t finished, but this is just so, so, so good that I can’t let my hang ups get in the way of recommending it for others to enjoy. I love the development of Killian and Emma in this story, and between Emma and the Jolly crew as she falls into the role as the mistress of the ship. (I legit just want to cuddle Fergus, he’s just so cute.) Anyway, I am really curious and eager to see where she takes the fic because it was my first and without a doubt one of my favorites. I have a massive need for Pirate!Captain Swan (and a massive lady boner for actual Pirate!Killian) and this is what started it.) Just –grabby hands- I want it finished so bad, but regardless this is worth a read because it’s wonderfully written and it will suck you right in. If you’re left begging for more like I was at the end of this, I encourage you to check out her outtakes collection: Interlude at Sea.

A One Time Thing (and Other Untruths) by weezly14

Rated: T

Notable Features: Modern!AU, Pregnancy, Slow Burn-ish, Mild Angst

Author’s Description: "She supposes the reason she tells him is the same reason she kept his phone number after all those weeks." Pregnancy has a way of throwing a wrench in one's plans.

Rose’s Review: Oh man, oh man, where do I start with this one because this is just a pile of angst, fluff and slow burn goodness. I totally get Emma’s headspace in this because if I ever found myself in her situation, I would probably make the same decisions she did in regards to Killian, but KILLIAN, oh man, his thoughts and feelings about becoming a dad slayed me. He just wants to be there and be with Emma so bad. This fic also has probably want I would consider to be the best characterization of Neal. I’m not a Neal fan in any sense of the word, but I’m not a fan over the top villianization (is that even a word? I’m pretty sure it isn’t but if Shakespeare and GWB can make up words, so can I!) of him. This depiction of Neal is perfect in my eyes because it’s very obvious that all of his dickishness based upon genuine fear that Killian is gonna replace him and that Emma is going to take Henry away from him, which in all honestly, as someone who worked in the Family Court system, this is a realistic and very common fear when there is a power imbalance between parents. (Not that I think that the power imbalance isn’t justified because it totally is.) If Neal lived longer in the series, I definitely think the relationship between Emma, Neal and Killian would have been exactly like this. So if you’re looking for realistic parent dynamics and Daddy!Killian feels, this is the fic for you (and even if it isn’t, read it because you won’t regret it.)

I Belong To You, You Belong to Me by phthalo

Rated: M

Notable Features: Canon Divergence (Season 5-6), Pregnancy, Time Travel characters, Bartender!Killian

Author’s Description: Three weeks after dragging your boyfriend's sorry ass out of the Underworld is not the ideal time to find out you're pregnant.It's probably also not the ideal time for Zelena's time portal to spit out some kid...a teenage boy with blonde hair and Killian's eyes.

Rose’s Review: I’m going to admit it now, I was rather dubious about this fic because of the description. I love me some baby!fic/pregnancy fic and I headcanon it all the time, but kids and time travel always stuck me funny (even in Charmed which was my fucking jam before anything else in life was) but I glanced at the kudos and the amount of comments, and thought to myself “well, if this many people like it, then there has got to be something good going on here!” And holy shit, I loved Ian. (I now officially headcanon that Emma and Killian’s eldest son is named Killian David Jones. It just needs to happen because it’s fucking perfect and there’s just too many Liams.) Ian is just a little snarky bae and I really loved the relationship between Henry and Ian. (Operation: Octopus for the win) They’re my perfect little babies. Also the amount of sass Ian sends towards Killian reminds me a lot of my own relationship with my father. (I’m such a shit to him but we’re super close and I’m legit terrified of pissing him off even though I’m fucking 23 years old. Ian also emulates that.)This fic played on a lot of my headcanons (like Captain Swan definitely banging in a field of flowers and totally escaping to bang in the Jolly) and I found Emma’s fears about Dark!Baby and her decisions around that to be completely in character. Killian is just a fucking saint (he’s not, but he definitely has the patience of one) and his understanding of Emma’s headspace in this (and in the show) is one of my favorites. All and all, this story is so massively fluffy that it makes up for all the angst that I read normally. Domestic!Captain Swan is slowly becoming my jam.

With Affection by PhiraLovesLoki

Rated: E

Notable Features: Modern!AU, Secret Admirers, Love Letters, Sassy!Emma, Lawyer!Killian

Author’s Description: Emma Swan isn’t a middle schooler. So why is she receiving notes from a secret admirer? She’s also definitely not a romantic person. So why is she writing back?

Rose’s Review: Oh…my…god…this fic. This fic is just -whale noises- fucking everything. I love it. The snark, the romance and Tink! This is my favorite characterization of Tink! Also this characterization of Emma hit so close to home with me because I legit make up nicknames for everyone in my life even people I never approach (legit everyone in my phone is under a different name. I legit call my mother Madam President Furher because she’s a hard ass and my younger brother is Moose because he’s just a giant but that’s besides the point) so the fact that Emma did that just cracked me up. This is definitely the fic where I bonded the most or felt the most connection to Emma. I love reading for this Emma’s headspace. It’s legit a joy to read. Killian is amazing as usual. I love his letters to Emma, especially the ones where he got more authentic. Walsh, though, gave me flashbacks to my own failed relationships and break ups. I literally had a break up similar to the one that Emma has with Walsh so bravo though for douche bag realism with Walsh. Both of Killian’s and Emma’s backstories are heartbreaking in this and the level of intimacy without actual intimacy (until later on of course) is just astounding. Phira is amazing writer in general and I really recommend you read all of her works, but if you had to choose one, this is the one to read. It just hits you all over the place with feels, humor and realism. Once again, why are you still reading this review, go read the damn fic!

Separate Lives by lenfaz

Rated: M

Notable Features: Canon Divergence (Season 3), Fairy Tale Characters in the Real World, Detective!Killian, Angst, 

Author’s Description: Set after 3x20 "Kansas". After saving the town one more time, Emma decided to return to New York, leaving her past behind. Three years later, she realizes that might be not have been the best decision.

Rose’s Review: I’m not sure if lenfaz reads Janet Evanovich or the Stephanie Plum novels, but legit this story was giving me some Stephanie Plum realness with Detective!Killian and BailBonds!Emma. Except this is better than Stephanie Plum because Emma is just far more bad ass and mature (though relationship-wise is very Stephanie like.) Killian as a detective was complete roguish Joe Morelli realness in the best way. I really loved the addition of Killian being adopted into an Italian family and their protectiveness of him. Laura and her family made me crack up with all the references to him getting a haircuit. (Please don’t, Killian, I love you with longer hair.) It warmed my heart in the best way. I also loved the relationship between Killian and his partner. Killian almost never has anyone in his corner (which is a HUGE point of contention for me in the show because despite Emma’s loner-ness, EVERYONE is in her corner and Killian has like zero support and nothing made that more evident that 6x15, which slayed me in the worst way possible because I fucking love Killian.) Mac, Killian’s partner, is one of my favorite OCs of all time and I loved that he calls him “sunshine.” (Dude, I need the story behind that one so if you haven’t written it, please do. I will even slip you a twenty.)

Roses in December by just_another_classic

Rated: T

Notable Features: Canon Divergence (Season 3), Kid Fic, Fluff, Daddy!Killian

Author’s Description: In a flash of rainbow light, Emma remembers.

Rose’s Review: Surprise, surprise, kid/baby!fic on my reccomendation list. Yes, I realize that only a niche amount of fans like this type of fic, but honestly this is one of the best done baby fics I have seen. I think the best thing about it is that Emma’s focus the entire time is completely on her children and not on romance, which is realistic and should be expected. Her focus is not 100% on Killian, which tends to be done and honestly those type of fics turn me off. She comes off very realistic to me and that’s what I love the most about this. What’s also really cool about this fic is the engagement with the original source material - Peter Pan and the allusions made between what’s happening in the fic and the mechanics of the original play (clever girl!) Also, the way they deal with Zelena in this fic is honestly how I felt they should have dealt with the character on the show. Not that I hate Zelena (well maybe I do..kinda…sorta…the jury is still out on that one) but I always found their approach to the situation to be strange.

Strangeness & Charm by bluestoplights

Rated: M

Notable Features: Enchanted Forrest!AU, Battle Couple!Captain Swan, Adventure, Slow Burn

Author’s Description: Killian Jones is a pirate captain down on his luck after a falling out with the Evil Queen. Emma Swan just found out she is the Savior. Their shared goals bring them on an epic quest to liberate the kingdom once and for all. It's a lot easier said than done.

Rose’s Review: Not only is this beautifully written and engaging, but I seriously want there to be like a television series based off this one. Seriously, I loved it and the pacing of it would be perfect for season one of a really epic fantasy show (which I would totally watch the shit out of it and that scrape the internet for fic or maybe even finally get off my lazy ass and write fanficfor the first time since high school.) The pacing on this thing is on point. I am completely envious because I am such a slow build up writer that I couldn’t pull off something like this in only twenty-four chapters. I loved Killian and Emma’s partnership in this and how everyone just knew they were a perfect pair…except them. What I also love about this fic is that the author really seems to understand the tone of Once Upon a Time really well and stays very true to it. Not that this is a dig on other authors who go lighter or darker, but it’s a fic that seems very in tune with it’s source material which is a very rare find. I really loved the ending of this fic but at the same time I would be super excited if the author decided to write a sequel.

[hucc]

Match report v London Fields 16 July 2017

Past results against London Fields CC include a draw and three losses. Throw in another two defeats in 6-over tournaments and a pattern emerges.  Expand a little on last year’s all-time worst ever result and a kind of blue-print for Hackney Umpire performances is suggested.  And the HUCC Archives do not bandy-about phrases like worst-ever without reason: in 2016 against the same opposition, at the same ground, a humiliating 55 all out came, as inevitably as night follows day, after LFCC’s 336 punishing runs in 40 sapping, sweaty and quite literally bruising overs.

It is testament to our commitment, our resolve, our pig-headed-foolhardy-misguided refusal to recognise the limitations of our own selves that we return, time and again, back to the fray with optimism renewed.  (Note: I woke up yesterday morning thinking we were in with a great chance of winning.  Of course I woke up on the morning of the 3rd July 2016 thinking something pretty similar).

Foolhardy commitment aside, there have been some notable absences so far this season. But the next generation has stepped up to the mark under Anthony’s increasingly confident leadership.  The Archives Department has been very grateful to those players that have volunteered to record the heroic, and occasionally less than heroic, deeds of the 2017 team (before this game: 1 win, 1 draw and 2 losses).  It has, in particular, been refreshing to return to a more linear narrative style in match reports, something I was in fact saying to Matt 'Barney' Smerdon, as we went in for drinks during the London Fields’ reply with the game hanging in the balance... 

After 18 of their 35 overs London Fields scored 96 runs and lost 4 wickets.  By comparison, at the same stage in the Umpires’ innings, our redoubtable opening partnership Anthony Pearce and David Dawkins had amassed 78 runs without loss. That cricketing equilibrium of runs and wickets was finely poised.  A short sharp shower had us sheltering briefly beneath a mighty pitch-side London Plane, and the fourth and final act of the drama commenced with a mugginess in the air.  A mugginess that the more theatrically minded could interpret as heralding some impending tempest.

Anthony throws the ball to Manny.  To be fair, The Hawk's opening spell was slightly undercooked, taking no wickets and giving up an unpalatable 26 runs in 3 wayward overs. HUCC’s leading wicket-taker in 2017 seemed to be trying just that little bit too hard to find the magic recipe.  With 14 overs left London Fields’ run rate is climbing but we know that 10 an over is possible. We’d done it ourselves in our innings.  And with only 10 players in the field the gaps were there.  The Hawk re-marks his run up. He adjusts his generous towelling headband.  The ingredients are all assembled...

4 hours earlier Anthony won the toss and elected to bat.  London Fields' opening bowlers may not appear obviously daunting but The Fields know us well.  They know our weaknesses.  They start both ends with a barrage of dibbly-dobbling.  Fresh from the mauling at the hand of the so-called Gentlemen of so-called Cambridge our openers Anthony and David are wary. Scoring is difficult. The pitch seems variable: many deliveries dibble significantly, only for the next ball to dobble alarmingly.  Patiently we build the platform. 

The highlight of the opening passage of play comes when Anthony passes 28 bringing up his 1,000th run for the Hackney Umpires.  Although not particularly Anthony-like, our captain’s edge through vacant 3rd slip down to the boundary was possibly a tribute to the vast majority of the 5,000 runs we have collectively amassed over the years many of which have been streakier than Erica Roe eating a bacon sandwich.  We stand and applaud this heroic achievement for fully 5 seconds until subdued by Anthony’s indifference and everyone else’s lack of knowledge of the milestone.

One over the go before the 18 over drinks break and Anthony unexpectedly finds another gear bludgeoning 19 runs from the over to reach 49no.

78-0 is a good start.  Solid. Level-headed. We discuss tactics during the break.  The feeling is we need to press on a bit.  We need to take the game to the opposition.  Rates need to be upped.  Gaps pierced.  Ones turned into twos.  Boundaries found.  This is of course the kind of strategy we have had many times before, that almost inevitably precedes an initial flourish followed by a rapid flurry of wickets, a battling retrenchment and inevitable collapse and recriminations.

Not unsurprisingly then, both openers fall with the score on 87 playing on looking to up-the-old-rate. Yet despite this Anthony’s 55 and David’s 24 suggest we now have an opening partnership that can fend off good balls and profit from the bad ones.

Kieran Kumaria, last seen for the Umpires in August 2015, returns to the field.  Having not picked up a bat in 2 years Kieran seamlessly begins caressing sumptuous cover drives (straight to a fielder for a single, but still lovely shot).  At the other end Jack ‘The Gunslinger’ has spent 20 overs prowling up and down like a caged tiger then surprises us all by seeing out 3 dot balls.

The received wisdom is: if you're going to flash - flash hard.  Clearly this created some problems for the BBC Light Entertainment Department during Operation Yewtree, but in the context of the next few balls it was Are You Being Served, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum and The Royal Variety Performance all rolled into one.  After the 3 dots Jack smashes 24 runs from the next 7 deliveries and the field spreads.

The people of London Fields are widely acknowledged as discerning cricket observers.  I can’t replicate the emphasis or the joy of the following, but Jack’s batting got the crowd going and the phrase  “Put the rubbish in the bin” was bellowed more than once.  This was followed by “Put the rubbish in the pool” as Matt Veal followed Jack’s ignition of our innings, keeping the throttle fully open with 35 runs in his first 15 balls including a flat-clubbed 4 straight over the bowler’s head that Kieran at the other end will surely have recognised from the Yankee Stadium.  

Eventually Kieran joins in the fun, cutting loose at the end of the innings to finish on 57 runs from 37 balls with Matt left on 47 not out and a total after 35 overs of 229 for 3.

The Archives Department loves a good stat.  Here’s one:

First 10 overs 40 runs scored

Second 10 overs 47 runs

Third 10 overs 92 runs

Final 5 overs 50 runs

What you might call a beautifully constructed innings.  

During the innings break we keep ourselves level-headed by remembering that we once set LFCC a total of 203 that they sauntered to in less than 30 overs.  Jack and Manny take the new ball.  Jack’s first delivery flies to the boundary for 4. Sometimes you look around the field and you just see gaps.  It doesn’t help that we only have 10 players.  But we back ourselves.  Jack’s pace brings a mistake from the batsman, the ball loops up and Matt Veal stretches to take a great catch.  

We stem the flow of runs.  Kannan at backward point makes a fine stop, once again putting himself on the line for the cause.

Kieran replaces Manny and, two years on from bowling a ball, offers up a maiden to start.  Followed by 7 overs of probing bowling very occasionally punctuated by the odd-legside delivery.  After 10 overs The Fields are 63-1.

New recruit Andrew Swain looks a handy bowler.  An enthusiastic dog delays the 11th over of our innings by running off with the ball.  Undeterred Andrew is off the leash once more, sending down a schnauzer of a ball, the batsman attempts to whippet away but makes a spaniel of it and Matt “Barney” Smerdon behind the stumps is the golden retriever. Two-down. 

One over later and Kieran’s bowling gets a double reward the other opener plays on looking to hit out and a catch lobbed to safe hands Matt Veal at mid-wicket.  Double-wicket maiden and LFCC are reeling at 77-4.  Kieran returns to the Disco Party end where they presciently welcome him with Hong Kong Garden by Siouxsie and the Banshees.

Jason Lord, we have seen him bat at length before, steers the batting side to drinks.  Barney all the while restricting his attempts to sneak singles with a series of attempted stumpings at least one of which looked a decent shout.

But while LFCC need to score quickly, they still have wickets left and so it is we return to Manny Hawks, who we left a few paragraphs ago preparing his ingredients, and readying his recipe.  And like Mary Berry, Manny goes out all-buns glazing. 

In his next 4 overs the remainder of the London Fields batting order is dismantled as Manny lets the ball do the work, swinging it into the stumps twice in the 22nd over, assisted an over later by Andrew clinging on to a dying catch at point and finally removing the opposition captain with a regulation catch to mid-on. All that’s left are three balls of slow left arm to remove the last partnership and the win is ours. London Fields all out for 138.

Forget the patterns of the past. Ignore the old blueprint of HUCC performances.  Despite 7 of the players from a year ago being part of the team this was something a little bit different.

HUCC 229-3

Kieran Kumaria 57*

Anthony Pearce 55

Matt Veal 47*

Jack Lewis 29

David Dawkins 24

LFCC 138-10

Manny Hawks 4/46

Kieran Kumaria 3/12

HUCC win by 91 runs

HUCC Man of the Match Kieran Kumaria