#i references it so no arsehole can be like

[pfhwrittes]

retail hell reader is being bothered by an uncomfortably friendly customer and tf141 handle it in their own ways.

warnings: female!reader (she/her pronouns) isn’t being overtly harassed but you know when a man is being too interested and too friendly? its that. egregious use of scots as inspired by still game, pet names “love”, “hen” and “bonnie girl” used to refer to f!reader.

word count: 1.5k

pairings: kyle garrick x reader, john mactavish x reader, simon riley x reader, john price x reader.

each reader x named character interaction should be read as a standalone but i stuck them all together as they were too short to post individually in my opinion.

- -

this customer is making you nervous as fuck. you don't think you've been inappropriate with him in any way, just polite and friendly as you sorted out his refund. the problem is that he's massive, easily taller than simon by a couple of inches and he keeps looming over you blaming his difficulty understanding english as to why he keeps getting closer and closer. he's practically mounting the customer service desk to peer down at you (and you have a horrible feeling he's trying to get a look down your polo top).

you're beginning to panic so you do the only thing you think to do (which admittedly is pretty stupid looking back on it) and make your excuses to leave the customer service desk to find one of your friends. or at least find a colleague who will act as a witness if this guy gets any creepier.

gaz handles it like a champ. as soon as he spots the creep following you around he's there. arm around your shoulders and tucking you into his side at the kitchen consultant's desk. his customer service smile is fixed on his face and he refuses to even acknowledge this giant arsehole of a man, just keeps talking to you softly and shows you the kitchen he’s working on. kyle’s beautiful brown eyes only briefly leave your face so he can point out another favourite part of his design, he never once looks over at the creep. it works to soothe you, especially being so close to him. after ten minutes of being blatantly ignored, the creep walks off muttering under his breath. hopefully he’s left the store but unfortunately it’s around that time that kyle has a couple walk up to him asking him if he’s free for a drop in consultation. before he agrees he checks in with a gentle “you alright if i take this appointment, yeah? come straight back if that guy is still hanging around. i’ll deal with him.” he looks so serious you believe him. you reassure him that you’ll be fine and he gives your arm a gentle squeeze before you separate from his warmth already missing the slightly woody scent of his cologne. before you’re completely out of earshot you hear the couple cooing over how cute kyle was with you and his reply of “well, it’s not exactly hard when she’s one of my favourite colleagues…” and the fondness in his voice makes your cheeks heat up. 

-

johnny nearly trips over you as you’re crouched behind the paint desk. “steamin’ jesus, what’re ya daein’ under there hen?” you hush him quickly and silently with a finger raised to your lips. you don’t want to speak because you know the giant is still out there looking for you, you thought you’d given him the slip near the paint brushes but then he’d rounded the end of the aisle so you darted for the relative safety of the paint desk. johnny crouches down next to you and whispers “are we hidin’ from someone? is it simon?” you shake your head and go to answer him but then your blood runs cold as you hear that familiar accented voice. “excuse me? i was wondering if you might help, i’m looking for the fräulein who was helping me?” johnny shoots a look at you and you squish yourself further into the corner of the desk hoping against hope that johnny won’t give you away. thankfully, johnny straightens up from behind the desk with his most charming customer service grin “sorry pal, i’ve no’ seen her. ‘s only me on the desk the day.” the creep sounds nonplussed at johnny’s thick glaswegian accent (you’ve certainly never heard it ramped up like that in all the times you’ve spoken with him) and a little crestfallen when he starts to reply with “oh, perhaps you’d be good enough to -” johnny interrupts him, voice still pitched in a friendly manner but you can hear an undercurrent of tension “naw, sorry pal. i’m busy pitin’ the hems oan the tins. is there anythin’ i can dae fer ye mixin’ wise?” there’s a moment of silence and you watch johnny’s smile slowly slip off his face, his lips thinning into a stern line. “ah, um. no thank you. perhaps she will find me.” the creep sounds a little nervous now if the uncomfortable laugh he lets out is any indication. “aye right. well i’d best be lettin’ you get oan then eh?” johnny shifts on his feet slightly so his calf brushes up against your arm. after another tense moment you hear the lumbering footsteps of the giant move away from the desk. johnny looks down at you with a mischievous grin, “i’ve got to say bonnie girl, you look a right sight down there.” you only feel a little bit bad when you punch him lightly in the leg and he yelps in shock as the blush on your cheeks spreads down your neck. 

-

simon is less than impressed when you duck under the chain across the warehouse doors and flatten yourself against the noticeboard out of view from the shop floor. “you stupid? chains up which means the forklift is out so you need to be too.” he’s pissed off and thinking about how much paperwork he’ll have to fill out now because you didn’t bother to think about the cameras in your dash for safety. he takes a big step towards you before swerving off to the side to block the customer that has just appeared at the chain. “the fuck do you want?” he practically snarls. ‘this isn’t the fucking caff.” simon squares his shoulders and glares at the oversized dickhead that’s wasting his time. “well? can’t you fuckin’ read? staff access only. and you’re not staff so fuck off.” simon barks at the man, not letting him get a word in edgewise to start bitching about stock or whatever it is that he wants. simon couldn’t give a shit, he just wants the customer (and you) to fuck off promptly so he can start moving pallettes around. the customer just blinks and takes several steps back before turning away. you let out a shaky sigh and thank simon quietly. simon hums in acknowledgement and sweeps a critical eye down your lightly trembling form. “he botherin’ ya?” at your nod he hums again before jerking his head towards the back of the warehouse “go put a hi-vis on and sit in the office, i’ll come get you when i’m done on the ‘lift.”. when simon comes back into the office two paper cups of tea in hand thirty minutes later, you offer him a small smile and catch his lips twitch up briefly before he turns away to plunk his cup down on top of a cluttered filing cabinet. 

-

price practically walks into you as you come flying around the end of the plumbing aisle. it’s unusual to see you so far away from the customer service desk and looking so flustered. “alright, love?” his hand is on your elbow as he asks. you crane your neck round to look behind you, too worried about that customer to enjoy his large warm hand on your bare skin. price straightens up and drops his hand away from you when he spots a customer behind you, in his opinion the customer is moving a little too fast to be considered casual. price bristles slightly when he catches the dark look on the gentleman’s face. oh no, he doesn’t like the look of this one at all. especially when you look at price and mouth “help” quickly. price steps forward and puts you at his back, blocking the creep from getting any closer. “can i help you, mate?” his gruff voice is just shy of sounding friendly and you watch his back muscles shift under the black polo top he’s wearing. “no thank you, i wanted to speak with the little woman some more.” god the customer is weird, you shudder a little at being referred to as a “little woman”. price shifts to block the customer’s view of you more fully as he does you notice the back of price’s neck has gone a little red. “not possible. i need her for a job.” price’s words sound like they’re being ground out through gritted teeth in response. “i’m sure simon would be more than willing to help you.” you jolt a little when you spot simon at the customer’s shoulder. a man shouldn’t be able to move so silently in steel toed safety boots. you catch a brief wince flicker across the customer’s face when simon’s hand comes down on his shoulder, slightly too hard to be entirely polite. “ah, um, yes. perhaps that’s for the best.” simon leads the customer away and you step up beside price to thank him. he looks deadly serious when he turns to face you “any time love.” his stern blue stare softens slightly and you’re sure you catch his gaze flicker to your mouth briefly before he clears his throat and turns away “c’mon then. back to the returns desk with you.”. 

- -

AN: i have very much hidden from customers in the warehouse and behind the paint desk at B&Q. don’t be like reader (or me) and hide in the goods-in area, you will get shouted at for it. 

translation for johnny’s scots: “pitin’ the hems oan” = putting the hems on, meaning to put something in order or to restrain something/someone.

[thought--bubble]

Let's Work it Out

Ettore X (Indifferent Crewmate Reader)

Warnings after the cut

Based on THIS request

Word Count: 1979

Ettore Masterlist

Full Masterlist

Banners by @arcielee

Warnings:: Ettore, swearing, Smut, dub-con, dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex (P in V), one brief line is a reference to previous non-con just a proper heads up. It's really quick, but yeah. Just in case.

"I hate this fucking ship." This is the thought that runs through your mind on a constant loop.

When you agreed to take this mission, you had thought it would be a good alternative to prison.But after months of floating around on this metal hellscape, you know you should have just stayed on earth.

Trapped in a tin can with a bunch of arseholes. At least in prison, the population was bigger. You had a better chance of finding people you could stand.

But here? Misery.

Boyse was fucking annoying with her constant bitching "this isn't right", "she can't do this", you know she's right but fuck, you can't change it and neither can she, so at least she could do you all a favor and just shut the fuck up.

Then there's Monte. The high and mighty one who thinks he is too good for the box. He walks around as if he is somehow morally superior to the rest of you, as if he wasn't a murderer too.

"You wouldn't be on this ship if you weren't asshat. Calm down."

Then there is the absolutely insane Dr. Dibs, who is apparently the only other person on this ship that is allowed to touch you and not in a fun way. Doing her freaky experiments knocking all the women up one by one and accidentally killing them off like some fucked up version of Russian roulette.

Then there is Ettore. He doesn't bother you as much as he bothers all the other female inmates, which actually makes him amusing in a way. He's definitely got the creepy staring guy role down, but who could blame him? There isn't much to look at on this stupid ship. Everything looks the same.

There are more irritating, annoying inmates, but you couldn't be arsed to learn their names. Fuck every single person on this ship, as far as you are concerned.

Most days, like today, when you have "free time," you just lay in your bunk. Trying to daydream and imagine you were back on earth before you irreparably fucked your life up.

Nansen is up on her bunk doing the same thing. She doesn't bother you much as she's quiet, and at the moment, Ettore is hanging off her bunk, literally sniffing at her.

"He's so fucking weird" you think as you watch him, trying not to laugh at the fact that this is what passes for amusement around here.

Nansen clearly gets fed up with him sniffing around her like some deranged dog and finally shoves him away.

The frustration on his face finally does you in, and you start laughing, no not laughing, cackling. He responds quickly with a flash of rage before quickly exiting the room.

"Thanks for that, that was actually fun," you yell over to Nansen before you roll onto your side, still chuckling to yourself.

Time moves slowly here and after what felt like hours Nansen left to go do something or other leaving you in the room alone still laying on your side and staring at the wall as if willing it to bring you some sort of escape from this place.

Your eyelids get heavier and heavier as you stare at the wall before they finally slide shut. Only the slight humming of the ship and distant voices can be heard as you feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness.

Until you hear it. The door closing. You open your eyes but don't move. Normally, it wouldn't be weird to hear someone enter the room. It is a shared space, after all. But no one ever closes the door. It's always left open.

You wait a few minutes while you continue to pretend you're asleep. Maybe one of the girls are douching after a visit with Dibs or puking up their sleepy time pills? Best to pretend you are asleep so they don't try to kick you out of the room.

So you wait. For movement, noise, or anything, but you are met with silence.

What feels like eternity passes with your heart thumping in your chest when finally, you turn around to see Ettore sitting on the floor next to your bunk, some of your long loose hair between his fingers.

You instantly jump back.

"Piss off!" You yell while pushing back with your feet towards the wall.

Ettore grips your ankle and drags you across the bunk and onto the floor.

"Arse!" You howl as your back makes contact with the harsh floor. Ettore stares down at you, a predatory look in his eyes.

"Don't you touch me, you prick!" You snarl at him, slowly rising to your feet.

Ettore doesn't say a word. Just slightly tilts his head to the side as his eyes scan you from top to bottom.

This guy isn't a dog, he's a fucking wolf and he is sorely mistaken if he thinks you're a lamb ripe for the slaughter. Yet you can't help but find him oddly enticing, the piercing blue eyes, his fill chest, and the fact that he keeps his mouth shut is a nice bonus.

As he moves toward you, the decision is made, you tackle him, wrapping your arms around his midsection, bringing him to the ground with a loud smack, and straddle his hips.

"Don't fuckin move you prick!" You hold his hands up by his head and are surprised when you see no anger, only unbridled lust.

And then you feel it. He is rock-hard beneath you, and suddenly, the fact that he isn't fighting you off makes sense.

Against your better judgment and any rational sense, you decide to tease him. It's been so long since you have been touched. Why not indulge for a moment?

"You like being under me, don't ya?" You tease as you rock your hips against him.

"Yea, nice place to be" his words are dripping in lust as he pushes his hips against yours grinding his cock against your cunt.

This boy is desperate.

You chuckle to yourself and grind back against him. His eyes roll back slightly as his jaw drops open.

He's so responsive, so much so that it drives heat straight to your core.

"You want me to apologize? For laughing earlier?" You continue to grind against his cock a sensation he loves, if the look on his face is anything to go by.

"Don't care," He grunts as he moves his hips a bit faster against you and closes his eyes.

"What if I said I would apologize by riding that big old cock you have stuffed into those scrubs huh?"

Ettore's eyes flash open, and he stares up at you, licking his lips.

"Would you like that?" You tease as you again roll your hips against him, but you make the mistake of closing your eyes and when you do Ettore wastes no time breaking out from the grips you have on his wrists and flipping you over onto your back.

You grunt at the impact. "Fuck, thought we were getting somewhere?" Your grumble in pain.

"Collectin my apology." He sniffs up the side of your neck before reaching down to pull off your scrub bottoms.

You want to correct him. Maybe explain. What riding him means, but again, you couldn't be arsed.

You push your scrubs down the rest of the way and bring your legs up around his hips.

It's been far too fucking long since you've been fucked and he's weird yeah but he's also hot and is most likely gonna fuck you silly.

Ettore leans forward to capture your mouth, but you turn your head to the side.

No fucking kissing dipshit.

Luckily, he is quick on the uptake and goes for your neck, seemingly unbothered by the subtle rejection.

He brings his hand to your heat, sliding his digits into your leaking wetness.

"Mmmmm" He groans eyes closed as he hovers above you, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing small precise circles on the nerve.

You close your eyes and lean your head back, your climax getting closer as he continues his ministrations while gently biting at your neck.

You feel your body tense as you climb that hill, wanton moans slipping from your lips as Ettore slides a finger into your canal, his fingertips exploring, looking for the magic spot that makes a girl go wild.

You take a deep breath in and rock your hips against his hand, your labored breaths, and sounds of pleasure gradually growing in volume, and he knows he's found it.

Ettore gets to work rubbing at the spot deep inside you as he pulls back to watch your face contort in pleasure.

It's so primal. Emotions aren't necessary. Just basic physical need and gratification, one of the driving forces behind Ettore's every move.

He quickly removes his finger from you and grips your thighs tightly, pulling you up to him, and plunges himself inside you in one swift thrust.

The only thing he feels.

He audibly groans at the sensation, jaw hanging slack as his pace quickly increases.

He has tunnel vision. He wants that sensation and needs that sensation, and there is not a thing in heaven, on earth, or this damn ship that is going to stop him now.

In just moments, his pace is punishing the hard smack of his hips against your skin and the delicious mixture of pleasure and pain have you reeling.

"Fuck!" You bite your lower lip nearly breaking the skin as he bullies your insides, hitting all the right spots with each violent thrust.

He watches himself entering you memorized be each movement. He is practically drooling seeing your fluids building up on the base of his cock. Dampening the short blonde curls that grow there.

He can't help but think to himself how much better it is when they want it.

He brings his thumb to your clit working the nub in small circles wanting that clench he knows you can give him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Your eyes fly back open as you hit your peak temporarily going deaf, body numb to all feeling other than the overwhelming pleasure.

Ettore smiles, not a happy smile, more of a victory smile. It's time to chase his peak, to take what he wants needs.

As you begin to float back down from your high, Ettore is climbing his. Every thought in him consists of reaching that goal. That euphoria.

His grunting grows louder, and his legs begin to shake as he pushes his body to its limit, determined to have the most intense experience he can create.

"If you ever want to do this again, you'll pull out." You don't know if he will heed your warning. He doesn't care about you. Why should he? You do hope that his needs in the future will outweigh his wants right now, but only time will tell.

He says nothing, his eyes closed as he groans loudly, you feel him stiffen, and just as you think he is going to ignore your warning, he pulls out shooting his spend onto your quivering thighs.

You both stay put a moment before you reach into your laundry and snatch up a shirt that's meant for washing, wiping yourself down.

Ettore watches you intently before finally opening his mouth. You see him debate with himself whether or not he should say whatever it is he is planning on saying.

You watch the gears move in his head moderately, amused as you start to put your bottoms back on.

"Good grief, just say it." You can't help but lose your patience. He is back to being the weird, staring guy, and it's irritating.

"Again?" He finally mutters.

You chuckle as you realize he is confirming that this is going to happen again.

"Sure" you shrug "Need something to do on this fucking ship"

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[writing-for-life]

Dream and How He Experiences Love

(Or: When the Unreal is at War with the Real, and Finally Understanding Unconditional Love Tightens the Noose Around Your Neck That Has Been There All Along)

And as always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

Let me start this one with a few adjectives from the horse’s mouth (aka: Neil Gaiman said so 🤣) as to what Dream is actually like:

from: Vertigo Chase Card Set

So in short: This is probably the most accurate way to describe Dream in a nutshell, from the author himself, fully knowing that Murphy doesn’t lend himself well to be described in a nutshell.

And of course it’s absolutely fine if we want to head-canon him just being 5 out of those 50 (or none of them at all)—our stories are our own. At the end of the day, we went through a whole year of Tumblrfication (I might have made up that word), and getting back to the series will be tough. So is trying to align what the current prevalent perception of Dream is like in parts of the fandom, and what he is like in both comics and series (show and comics really aren’t that different where it matters, and I’ll die on that hill). I already worry about the fallout if I look at what happened with GO or OFMD, but that just as an aside.

Anyway, Dream in fandom spaces is often portrayed as either a pathetic wet cat who can’t get to grips with anything and constantly needs rescued in one way or another, or as a completely unfeeling arsehole incapable of relating to the human experience and being horrible all around. There are very few shades of grey in how some fans perceive him, when just the list of above adjectives shows us how complex he is as a character.

One thing that obviously comes up regularly are his relationships, be they romantic or platonic. So I just wanted to draw attention to the adjectives that relate strongly to the relational element in him (although they all apply in one way or another):

touchy, sentimental, cold, loving, [elusive], gentle, hurt, deep, intense, solitary, romantic, shy, intangible, lonely

Dream is the unreal. His way of loving relates very deeply to what stereotypical romantic love is: Romance and reality are a contradiction in terms—romanticism is dreaming because it is, at its very core, an idealised view. The intangible dream that comes back to bite us in the arse once reality sets in. And his flavour of love is the prototype of idealised and intangible (=romantic) and can never be anything else by his very nature.

And I’ve often thought that the way he experiences love is also a large part of why his existence is so difficult for him, and why he ultimately makes the choices he makes. Yes, he detests his function, but if he weren't so lonely (and weren't doomed to be so by his very purpose), he might find it easier to bear.

Let me look at, and draw parallels to, the 7 types of love as the Ancient Greeks perceived them [quick note about the image references: I would have loved to give more, but there is a limit. Also: Apologies I have no alt text for the comic panels at this point, I might add them at a later stage if I find the time]…

Eros

That’s both sexual and romantic love (to varying degrees), and it can be fleeting (like a dream) if not anchored in a less idealised view. So there’s your first cue—he totally experiences that kind of love.

The Ancient Greeks also thought it was a dangerous type of love, one that clouds our judgment and one that won’t last if not combined with some of the other types. And Dream himself knows this and probably relates (he detests his sibling Desire for “meddling”, after all). And yet, he is the intangible, the ungrounded, the unreal.

It’s all over every single one of his relationships we witness:

Killalla—“gifted” by Desire. We never get any cue as to what exactly they were up to, but it can be assumed desire, for whatever, played a large part in their relationship. Killalla makes no secret about it either (and is at the same time uncertain whether she truly loves him while being confused Dream might actually love her after what seems a very short time, at least in cosmic terms). Suffice it to say, he has a very idealised view of her and their relationship. Romantic idiocy at its best: He has literal stars in his eyes and is so grateful for Desire’s help he is basically kissing their boots in gratitude.

Alianora—again one of Desire’s gifts. And Dream tried, and I definitely think he was at least romantically (and physically) attracted to her (the art is very hard to interpret otherwise, neither is the context--she was gifted by Desire, after all). But this relationship is generally a tricky one because there is gratefulness and guilt n the mix, and that is sometimes a very unfortunate combination. He also couldn’t fully trust her because of his deep mistrust of D/desire. And lo and behold, of course the relationship soured when romantic and (potentially physical) attraction waned.

Nada—pursuing each other on and off, broadcasting sexy time all over the Dreaming because he's just so head over heels and literally bursting at the seams—need I say more? Yes, he does say to her that her body does not matter to him, which I 100% believe is true. He also says that he will love her as no mortal man can. But everything that transpires is still deeply informed by romantic attraction, because quite frankly: You don't feel love yet after you've barely met someone. It's again a deeply idealised view and that is something inherently romantic in tandem (in this case) with physical desire. Again, because D/desire was involved.

As to the particulars of Nada’s banishment to hell, and why Dream acted so out of character compared to his other failed relationships: You can find all of it here.

Calliope—read her speech at the Wake is all I’ll say. That is someone making romantic love so integral to their whole existence, I don’t even know where to start. He puts the world at her feet and makes sure she always comes first (quite literally) while they are still loved up…

Thessaly—he's the romantic idiot (affectionately) in the rain with his coat billowing in the wind, and referring to her “weighing him dispassionately and finding him wanting”. It was only a handful of months--you don't feel true, stable love at that point. Again, it has the idealised view of romance (and potentially sexual desire) written all over it. He would have given her the world, just like he would have given the world to Nada and Calliope. That is the trope of every freaking romance novel, and that is exactly how he perceives love.

Titania—who knows, she keeps her mouth shut.

Ludus

I think he has a hard time to be flirtatious and playful (at least, we don't really see it. We never really see him during the courting stage, and what went down with Thessaly was hardly "flirtatious". `Then again, bickering like they did in A Game of You is electrifying to some, so who knows. She also said at his wake he was cautious and nervous). And if he comes across as flirtatious (there is a charming on that list of adjectives after all), it’s just because he is so deliberate in everything he does that he might just push someone’s (right) buttons, so to speak. But that’s not the same as “no strings attached”-love, because I honestly believe he’s incapable of experiencing love that way. There is no “casual” with him. He always stays attached to the people/women he once loved, even if the relationship sours. He still loves each and every single one of them, he never stops. But he also doesn’t in a way that’s sustainable, and it’s an unsolvable conflict due to what/who he is.

Philia

Most closely translated as friendship and affection. Platonic love, if you will. It is also a love between equals. He has a hard time with it and only slowly learns what it means through his relationship with Hob. Needless to say: The Ancient Greeks valued platonic love as one of the highest forms of love. Hence, I’m personally reluctant to turn it into something else/slant it towards romance, because that’s exactly what this part of the story is about: His relationship to Hob is important and grows/lasts because it is not romantic in the comics.

Storge

Unconditional love for family, especially children. Based on complete acceptance and potentially sacrifice. Doesn’t need to be reciprocated. You feel it, no matter what, and you act accordingly. And for Dream and Orpheus, that didn’t work until it did. Or, let’s rather say: I don’t want to assume he didn’t feel it. But he pushed it down in his hurt and pride (as did his son in his grief). No further comment, because that one hurts.

Agape

Altruistic, universal, all-encompassing. And that’s so deeply at the core of his being, and so central to his whole conflict that I don’t even know where to start. From not wanting to kill the first vortex (or Rose, for that matter), to telling John Dee he’s hurting the dreamers, and that being his main concern while he himself was writhing on the floor in agony, to “humanity I love you”, to a million other things. He cares so deeply, there is such a deep concern for sentient beings in their entirety that it’s quite literally impossible to call it anything other than love. And it’s also what plays a large part in his demise.

Pragma

Oh, here we go. I honestly believe he likes the idea of committed and long-lasting. And he’s trying. So very hard. Calliope is the best example. Alianora was another one, because it’s not like they broke up swiftly (hard to tell how long they lasted, but since she had stayed in the Dreaming too long to go anywhere else, it wouldn’t surprise me if we’re actually talking a very, very long time. He called it “a goodly while”, and considering how old he is, I doubt that equals only months, or even just a few years, especially since he is fully aware how short his relationship to Thessaly was). And he wanted to stay true to his promise. But he is who/what he is: the unreal. And as the personification of that, love both feels real for him but will also forever stay intangible. It’s heartbreaking really. Again, it has written the contradiction between romantic love (the ideal) and pragmatic love (the thing that is grounded in reality) written all over it.

Philautia

And that’s the most heartbreaking one. He is incapable of self-love and full of self-loathing instead. The Ancient Greeks used to say that you can’t give what you don’t have. And it’s hard to feel compassion for the flaws we perceive in others if we don’t have that self-compassion for the exact same flaw in ourselves. And that one hurts in so many ways, from his not being able to forgive himself (which is mirrored in his relationship to Nada, who also couldn’t forgive herself—she didn’t need his forgiveness, she needed her own) to Orpheus being so much like him apart from one major difference: he’s mortal in spirit, and even immortality doesn’t change that. And Dream struggles with the part of his child that is so like him for a million reasons that would burst this meta at the seams, but again: it’s hard to love in others what we detest in ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly.

So in short: The particular flavours of love Dream feels (Eros, Agape, Philia growing slowly over time) and the ones he doesn’t (Ludus, Pragma, Philautia) are also at the very root of how the story goes.

And when he finally truly understands what Storge/unconditional love is--both in the way he reassesses his relationship to Nada but especially in how he finally submits to his love for Orpheus (with all that entails)--and when he allows it to become real, it’s what tightens the noose around his neck. But that noose has been around his neck loosely all along…

[phoenixtakaramono]

Butchlander for C, R, W :3

(This Ask is regarding this.) ( ˘ ³˘)♥

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Both men like to creampie their partners. It’s canon. For Butcher, in S4, as well as revealing that Butcher had cheated on Becca years ago with a waitress, Joe Kessler asks him where his “soft spot for supes” started: “Was it when you shot your load and creampied Maeve?” As much as I despise cheater!Butcher now being canon, at the very least since this has now been written into the show, this better not be a throwaway line; I’d like to think the writers are setting up foreshadowing for a S5 payoff, especially with the Butcher/Maeve scene that Kripke asserted was included for a reason. In the comics, Maeve had a secret child with The Legend which resulted in Blarney Cøck and in the comics “Ryan” had been a baby Butcher stomped to death. I smell a potential comic reference setup, especially with evil Butcher era in S5. I HC, with Butcher at least, he would be a little more careful (if he’s not pissed drunk) and wear a condom. Or if he’s in a risky mood, he’ll pull out to stroke himself to release—before pushing his dick back in.

For Homelander, I presume since he’d always thought his seed wouldn’t take, he operated under the belief he’d been shooting blanks all this time. Which equates to, he doesn’t need protection. Most impotent men would feel insecure about their masculinity so, likewise, with Homelander, he’s likely brainwashed himself into thinking: well, it’s probably a good thing he cannot get ordinary mudpeople pregnant; he’s genetically perfect; he’s a god. His seed is too powerful for ordinary unworthy mudpeople. If anyone’s going to be carrying his child, it’d be with someone like Maeve (if only she’d get pregnant). But, irony of all ironies, he got Becca pregnant. This man does not use protection. He sticks it in and will finish inside you whether you want it or not.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. So if John the Homelander and William J. Butcher were to hookup or get into a relationship, their breeding kink fundamentally wouldn’t change. Billy, just to be an ornery bastard, would probably be the one in the relationship to at least ask if Homelander had been tested for STIs because he does not want to catch anything from this, which high-key offends Homelander and would earn a reactionary splutter along the lines of: “I’m a fucking god, William; I do not need to be t-tested; how dare you lump me in with other pathetic mortals? I’m clean. My blood’s probably purer than the rest of you.” (You cannot tell me, with the show’s bigotry connotations, that he wouldn’t say something like this.)

So, we’ve established both men cum inside. Billy Butcher would 100% cum inside Homelander. Sometimes, when the whim hits, he’d pull out early before ørgasm and stroke himself until he cums over the blond cunt’s gaping arsehole or over the curve of his back. Or, if Billy’s feeling a particular mood, he grunts for Homelander to turn over and to open his mouth for him so he can finish himself off, shooting all over Homelander’s face and his waiting tongue; or after releasing, he orders Homelander to get on his knees and clean his prick off (cards his fingers into his gelled blond hair, messing it up further, and breathlessly calls him a “good boy” whilst Homelander, still in his subspace, dreamily laps up any salty precum and sucks him off). Homelander’s usually prim and proper in their day-to-day so it satisfies something in Butcher seeing his load(s) drip out of him. I wager it’s a huge power-trip and turn-on for Billy, seeing the most powerful man in the world hungry for his cock. In Billy’s head, he’s doing the world a favor—preventing this monster from reproducing and creating more Homelander mini-me’s.

Both high-key and lowkey, I HC that Homelander likes the physical intimacy of feeling Billy pulsate and nut inside him. There’s just something primal about doing it raw—and being “bred” by his former archenemy. With Homelander being a vainglorious narcissist, there’s likely also the instinctual smugness and psychological reassurance of knowing that his bussy game’s so good, it’s made William J. Butcher—the man who notoriously hates him—cum inside. There’s also the feeling of ownership—of being “branded by,” possessed and “loved” so intensely by someone. He’s so desperate for intimacy, for that genuine human connection with someone, he’d find it very ironic but poetically fitting that he’s found it in the arms of the enemy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I say it depends on various factors: what the risk entails, the appropriateness of the situation, their circumstances, the timing, the venue, and their mood, but yes they’re usually game to experiment and take risks. Both of them are impulsive, self-destructive maelstroms. Whether it’s stealing a moment for a quickie whilst Homelander’s on patrol or the both of them knowing they are seconds away from being caught with Billy’s crew just outside the doors, when you put these two men together, it often escalates to impromptu bad decisions made in the heat of the moment. They are each other’s worst enabler.

I’d like to think it’s also a big turn-on for the both of them. When one of them is particularly resistant for whatever reason, the other party taunts and eggs them on, and then it becomes a competition where the other party cannot resist the want to rub their win in the other’s face. Sure it might be inappropriate to do the horizontal mambo on The Seven conference table during office hours think of all the trouble they’d get into with HR if found out, but have you considered that William/Homelander called him a chicken? Their pride’s on the line here. Their ego, their masculinity, is at stake. If they do not prove the other person wrong, that person will have ammunition for the rest of their lives.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The costume and cape stay on during sex, same with the boots and/or socks. Homelander’s costume is a symbol, and it gets Billy fueled with ire hatefucking him with his pants shoved down. It’s like this meme:

…except Billy probably shoves those “tactical trousers” and uncomfortable synthetic vinyl-looking eagle-mesh pants down Homelander’s arse and just penetrates him raw Homelander’s lucky that Billy is considerate enough that he won’t go in dry (plus, he’d chafe); at least he’d spit down there if there’s no “nice, big family-sized bottle of top shelf lube” readily available for either of them to use. The pants could easily be torn away by either him or Homelander, although it’s funnier to think of Billy being the one doing it because you get Homelander throwing a hissy fit being all like:

Homelander: Really? This is my one suit, you heathen. You couldn’t have been more delicate with it?

Billy: *smirks* Nah.

For Homelander, the suit serves as a defense mechanism. It’s his armor; it’s his shield. Like everyone else, he has his body image insecurities (like irl models/ celebrities, I presume he has to give some consideration to his caloric intake, his weight, any sign of weight gain, or aging, etc). Removing his costume and exposing his body to his partner takes a lot of trust and emotional vulnerability. Plus, there’s usually no time to strip all the way down. It’s usually a wild and rough tussle between them.

I will have to say, if Billy manages to get Homelander bare and exposed, he’s usually a lot gentler than normal. Because he’s not fucking Homelander; he’s making love to John. It’s a subtle but important distinction.

[izzyhandswhore]

ALRIGHT SO,SINCE REQUESTES ARE OPEN, I hope you'll write this. Izzy slowly falling in love with Stede's sister reader,and Stede's reaction to it

((Thank you so much for my first request!! Absolutely love this idea. I'm gonna split it into two parts since it got a bit long. So Izzy reacting to it, then Stede)) Izzy falling in love with a Bonnet. - Slowly is right. Izzy meets you at a very turbulent time in his life and he thinks the last thing he needs is more dead weight.. Though of course you prove yourself to be anything but that. - He'll never forget the first time he laid eyes on you. Just when he thought he'd seen every absurd thing The Revenge could throw at him.. There you were. The final and most complex puzzle. - Everything about you confounds him and winds him up because really, in theory, he should hate you the way he hates Bonnet, but somehow.. He just can't. When Stede wears finery it looks garish and stupid, but on you it's perfect. When Stede wears something more pirate-like he looks like a boy playing dress up, but you look different and daring. - Claims he won't go easy on you just 'cause you're a lady (and my GOD does he love teasing and making fun of you for being 'a lady') but the whole crew notices right away that he does. You're not sure if it's subconscious or not, but Izzy never really raises his voice at you, never demands to know what you're doing and putting you to work in your downtime, never threatens to take away rations and always makes sure you have time to eat.. The list goes on. - Basically at first he's a lot of bark and no bite. He refuses to call you by your name only ever sarcastically or venomously refers to you as "my lady" or "your highness" or, if you've really got on his nerves, "madam" or "princess". - The score stays even though. He is VERY easy to get flustered, especially since it's been a while since he's had female company. The smallest of things (the way your hair or skirt blows in in the breeze, your voice, your touch or even the way you look at him sometimes) often catch him off guard. - But then things start to shift. Izzy can be pretty observant and it doesn't escape his notice that you're not as useless as he first thought. The total opposite, in fact.. Slowly a mutual respect starts to form. He even starts calling you by your name and seeking out your company instead of only talking to you when necessary. - Instead of mocking you or discouraging you from taking part in things like sword fighting and the running of a ship, you find he actually becomes your greatest guide. The two of you take to sword training in the quieter moments and star gazing navigating under the stars at night, just the two of you. - In return you actually get him to open up and talk about his feelings (though he would deny instantly that that's what it was). He tells you about life on the Queen Anne and listens when you tell him about your own life before The Revenge. You slowly dismantle the idea that you and Stede had a picture-perfect childhood and the respect grows to admiration as he realizes how strong you actually are. - Stede and the crew have no idea what you did but they notice a change in Izzy after that. He's still, as Stede would say, a complete arsehole, but his edges seems slightly softer somehow. At the very least he doesn't seem as stressed out all the time. - It's hard, but eventually you can get him to start accepting some of your fancy gifts. He wouldn't be caught dead with any of them, but he has a ring on a chain around his neck, beneath his shirt close to his heart. - Secretly wishes to be married so you don't have to have the name "Bonnet" anymore. He's not convinced you are a Bonnet anyway. There's no way you could be related to that foppish twat.

[accio-sriracha]

Clashing Teeth- Wolfstar

~~~♤~~~

Remus and Sirius have been fighting, a lot.

It started when Remus had called Sirius a slut after he had snogged Emmaline Vance at a party. Sirius openly and proudly admits to being one but he didn't think Remus needed to say it like it was such a terrible word.

So Sirius, ever the petty revenge queen that he was, decided to fight back. And they have been, nonstop, for two weeks.

Eventually the others had had enough, they couldn't watch this go on any longer. James forced them both into the common room, surrounded by all of their friends,

"The two of you have been at each other's throats for two weeks now, what the hell is going on?" He demanded.

Sirius snorted, "Well, Prongs. I think Moons and I have been 'at each other's throats' because he's too afraid to admit something."

Remus glared at him, "And what might that be, Pads?" He scowled.

Sirius sighed, "Well there's multiple things." He gave Remus a meaningful look, "But the one I'm referring to now would be that you're secretly jealous of all the girls I'm pulling."

"I am not."

"That isn't what I gathered from you last night when we got into that fight about-"

Remus jumped up from the couch, pulling out his wand, "I will hex you right now!" He threatened,

Peter stepped between them, holding out his hands, "Woah! Guys, come on! What is this? You two have never acted like this before!"

"You want to tell them what's changed, Pads?" Remus called, still furious, "Cause I think everyone in here would like to know what's got you acting like an arsehole."

"Oh, I'm the arsehole here? I'm not the one who's jealous! If it's really that big of a deal, why don't you go out there and snog someone yourself?" Sirius shouted back. Remus' glare was cold enough to kill a man,

"Is that really what you think the solution is here? I should just go snog a bunch of people?"

"Well it's not like you're fucking dating anyone is it?" Sirius' voice suddenly broke. He turned to James, "I'm done with this conversation." He stood and stormed out of the room.

Everyone was silent, Dorcas cleared her throat after a few minutes had past, "Rem, I'm gonna be honest, I don't think any of us understood any of that." She told him. Remus groaned and sunk back down onto the couch, his head in his hands.

"Look, Remus, whatever is going on between you two can be worked out, but I don't think you're really listening to each other." Lily sat down beside him, her voice kind, "Maybe just try to hear what he's telling you."

"I know what he's telling me. That's the problem." He muttered, rubbing at his temples, "It's him who's not listening every time I tell him that I just don't think it's possible to work things out his way."

"What even started this?" Alice asked. Peter gave a nervous laugh,

"He, uh... He called Sirius a slut." He explained. Alice stared blanky,

"I thought Sirius calls himself that too?"

Peter nodded, "He does, but... well-"

"But I meant it." Remus spat, the muscles in his jaw tight, "I said it to hurt him."

"Oh." Alice looked down, stepping back next to Frank again.

"Why don't you go talk to him, Moons, maybe you can figure out a compromise." James offered. Remus laughed,

"This is the compromise." He shook his head, "He gets to do his fucking random people thing and..." He looked away, "Well, we're both compromising, okay? Neither of us is willing to give in."

"What are your options?" Dorcas asked, "Maybe we can help you both decide?"

Remus shook his head again, "No, this is between Sirius and I." He stood, turning to the stairs, "I'm going to bed, I'll see you all in the morning."

He closed the curtains around his four poster, not wanting James or Peter to bug him like they inevitably will. He understood they all don't like seeing him and Sirius fight, but this just wasn't something they could help with.

Remus thought back to the look on Sirius' face, the hurt in his eyes when he'd brought up the dating thing.

The issue they'd been having was they were secretly sleeping together... a lot. They had sex even more than they fought. It was amazing, probably one of the greatest things Remus had ever experienced, even better than chocolate after the full moon.

But Sirius wanted more than that, he wanted a relationship, a fully exclusive, everyone knowing about them, holding hands in the corridor kind of relationship. And Remus didn't think he was ready for that.

Sirius was understanding, of course, he'd never want to out Remus to their friends if Remus wasn't comfortable. But Remus kept denying he was gay at all, just that Sirius happened to be really good at sex.

After that, Sirius made the decision that if they weren't exclusive, he'd start seeing other people too. Remus was pretty sure he was just hurt that Remus didn't want to be with him, but he didn't say that. They continued this way for the last two weeks, taking out their frustrations on each other through loud arguments and lots of sex.

Neither of them were willing to let up, but neither of them wanted the sex to stop either, so they just kept fighting. Sirius refused to stop sleeping with other people if Remus didn't want to be with him, even just in secret, and Remus refused to be in a relationship because he wasn't gay.

The night of the party he'd snapped in front of everyone, calling Sirius a slut. He'd been angry, furious at the thought other people's lips on him, other people holding him the way that Remus was meant to hold him.

The door swung open, slamming into the wall. He knew immediately who it was, it was the same way Sirius had been walking into the room for the last two weeks, full of pent up rage and hunger.

"Remus." His voice was low, dangerous.

Remus opened the curtains and got out of bed, standing in front of him and drawing himself to his full height. He looked down at Sirius, his eyes searching his face.

He knew what he would usually find there, an expression that mimicked his own swirling emotions. But Sirius wasn't like that this time, his anger was gone, he looked up at Remus with eyes filled with so much hurt,

"Why don't you want me?" He asked quietly.

Remus faltered, he'd forgotten during this short time they'd spent like this that Sirius was still his best friend, before their relationship turned so physical, Sirius was Sirius. He felt his heart soften immediately,

"Pads-" He whispered, pulling him into a hug. Sirius sniffed, burying his face into Remus' shoulder,

"I know you aren't looking for a relationship and- and I've been trying to accept that... But it feels like everytime we do this I'm losing you. Like it's not us anymore."

Remus sighed and pulled back just enough to get him to look up, "I love you." He whispered, "You're my best friend and you always will be. I'm sorry I've been so cold recently."

"I'm sorry too." Sirius shook his head, "I knew how angry it made you to see me with them, I should have never tired to hurt you that way."

Remus swallowed. He glanced down at the floor, "Sirius-" He whispered, his voice breaking, "I was angry because I don't want you to be with any of those people. I-" He took a deep breath, "I want you to be with me. Just me. I want to be your... your boyfriend."

Sirius' eyes widened, a flicker of hope Remus hadn't seen for two weeks reigniting, "What?"

"I think I'm in love with you. I'm sorry I've been too scared to say it, I didn't know what I wanted and it terrified me. But I know that I love you, and that I always have. And I want to spend every minute of my day loving you."

"Really?" He whispered. Remus nodded,

"Really."

Sirius leaned up and kissed him, and for the first time it wasn't gripping shirts and clashing teeth, it was soft, careful and full of love. Remus melted into it, he didn't want to hate himself for wanting this anymore. Sirius Black loved him, and that was the best thing he could ever ask for.

"So... you really want this?" He gestured between them, "You want to be my boyfriend?"

Remus nodded, "I do." He smiled and kissed him again, "I want to kiss you like this and not care who sees us."

Sirius beamed up at him, "I thought you didn't want other people to know?"

Remus lifted a shoulder, "I was scared, but I don't want to hide the part of me that loves you anymore."

Sirius intertwined their fingers, "So... we can tell the others sometime?" He asked. Remus nodded towards the door,

"We can tell them now, if you want." He saw the look on Sirius' face and knew he was dying to share the news with them.

Sirius immediatley tugged his hand, pulling him down the stairs and into the common room.

"Oh, thank Merlin you're both okay. I thought Pads went up there to kill you." James sighed, wiping a hand over his forehead.

"So you guys really are okay now?" Peter asked, glancing between them skeptically as though he was waiting for them to break into a fight any second now. Sirius nodded, his smile bright enough to light up the room,

"Better then okay."

Marlene shot a glance down at their hands, then at Remus' own shy smile. She gasped dramatically, "No way!" She shouted, "And you never even told us?!"

Remus cleared his throat, "Well, it's a little complicated." He laughed.

Peter raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"The fighting, the slamming doors, the glaring, it all makes so much sense now!" She rambled on. Dorcas placed a hand on her arm,

"Marls, in english please?" She laughed.

"They've been secretly having sex! I knew it was sexual tension I was sensing between you two!"

The rest of the group gasped and turned back to them, most eyeing their hands with new eyes,

"Is that true?" James asked. Sirius smiled brightly again,

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Remus John Lupin..." He glanced at him, his eyes filled with awe, "My boyfriend."

Gasps and cheers erupted from their friends. Lily immediatley stood up to throw her arms around them both,

"I'm so happy for you!" She laughed, hugging them tightly. Frank held up his hands,

"Wait, wait, wait. Remus is gay?" He asked incredolously.

Sirius nervously looked at him again. Remus took in a deep breath and nodded,

"Yeah." He tried to sound confident, "I am."

The group congratulated them, James immediatley gushing to Lily about all the double date possibilities.

Marlene and Dorcas hugged them, letting them know they were proud to have them in the club.

The rest of the night was spent just like old times, talking and laughing until it was really late and everyone was yawning.

The only difference now was Remus was allowed to touch Sirius and not feel guilty for it, he ran his fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek every once in a while.

They went to sleep in Remus' bed that night, not needing to keep it a secret or worry about being caught.

Remus had never been happier.

~~~♤~~~

[queerplatonicshipshowdown]

Quarterfinals, Match 1

Balloon and Suitcase (Suitloon) from Inanimate Insanity vs. John Doe and Arthur Lester (Jarthur) from Malevolent!

Propaganda for Suitloon:

I think of them as queerplatonic, because theyre incredibly close and are pretty much each other's support systems. Balloon is Aromantic (technically canon? one of the creators said he was so im rlly hoping it is canon) so this is NOT a romantic ship. They dont have any romantic interactions, but you can spin every scene how you want. I just think they're in a QPR and are heavily supportive and understanding to each other. (Since like. half the people in the show fucking hate Balloon, and not many people seem to like to let Suitcase speak for herself)

Propaganda for Jarthur:

The inherent intimacy of having a guy (John) inside your (Arthur) head who you don't know the history or goals of but still bond over the atrocities you go through in your shared body. And sometimes he's an arsehole but you know that he wants the best for you and it's so much more than any other relationship they could have and in the end they always have eachother and I'm jealous of a sad British man and the voice in his head. They're friends and each others world and everything and I want what they have. OH DID I MENTION THAT ARTHUR IS FUCKINF BLIND AND JOHN IS HIS ONLY ACCESS TO SIGHT? IT'S BEAUTIFUL. Like John always takes such care to describe their surroundings (no seriously he starts waxing poetic). I mean yh he withholds it sometimes but every door has its issues. Anyways yh I love them and they deserve the world.

They are extremely close, both literally and figuratively. John is inside of Arthur's head, and they often fight in ways that have been referred to by the fans as 'divorce moments' but they still very clearly care about and love each other, in a way that is explicitely non-romantic. Their love is desperate and aching and they're not just friends, but they are definitely not dating, and a LOT of the fandom interprets them as queerplatonic.

Oh, the special kind of affection and friendship that can only bloom between a 1930s private detective and the eldritch entity that ends up possessing his eyes and left arm. 95% of this show is Arthur (the detective) bickering with John (the eldritch entity) like an old married couple, and falling in and out of trust with each other. Despite that they are both fiercely loyal to the other and by the point the podcast is at now they seem to trust each other implicitly - Arthur has to rely on John to guide him since John can see out of the eyes of their body and Arthur can't, but when they fall into an abandoned mine and are reunited (long story) they immediately fall back into that old, trusting rhythm. They share a body and their initial goal in the podcast is to be separated, but by the point we're at now they're not too fussed about it. They're making plans to go out to dinner and the movies. Also, Arthur is aro-coded - there's a big emotional arc that involves him accepting the fact that he never had romantic feelings for his wife, even during the birth of their child or her death, and how that doesn't make him a bad person or diminish the love he felt for that child.

They have fought gods together. Also they're positive plural representation. What is there not to love????

[starlightshadowsworld]

Moonlit Butterfly AU

This version of Atsushi and Yosano meeting Tachihara and instantly knowing who he is.

Atsushi falling to his knees, tears in his eyes and looking both lost and relieved at the same time.

"You're... You're alive."

Yosano's not any better, squeezing Atsushi's hand in comfort like her own tears aren't falling.

Tachihara is just... Suprised.

"You know who I am?"

Yosano chuckles and it sounds like a sob. "Of course we do, Shunzen...He talked about you everyday."

Tachihara looks down, hiding his own tears "must've been annoying." Atsushi shakes his head a sad smile on his face "no, not even a little."

Yosano nods in fierce agreement. "What did he say...?" Asks Tachihara, afraid and eager and hating that he feels either emotion.

But he needs to know.

"Stubborn" Says Yosano, shaking her head fondly. "Absolutely stubborn, fierce and unyielding like the tide of an ocean."

Atsushi snorts, chiming in. "Good of heart, so good he doesn't know what to do with it. He'll be a right badass when he's older, but my God he's a pain in the arse."

And it shouldn't mean something, it shouldn't hit him in the heart so hard. But Tachihara's crying before he even realises it.

"Arsehole" he says but there's no bite to it. Something in him deep down feels at peace but he's got a long way to go.

"I'm sorry, we... I couldn't..." Apologises Yosano and Tachihara shakes his head. "It's not your fault" and for the first time he believes it.

"Can you... Can you tell me about him?" Atsushi smiles, pats the seat beside him and Tachihara sits down.

It hits him how young they must've been, for his brother to have served with children. And here he was, blaming them for not being able to save him.

They were all just a bunch of dumb kids getting dragged into shit weren't they?

(For reference in this moment Tachihara is 19, Atsushi is 24 and Yosano is 25)

[jamesunderwater]

Jily Microfic: Hostile

@jilymicro-oops - feb 29th, prompt: hostile - words: 1,812 Summary: The chaos concludes with a dramatic flourish. Part 3 of 3! Read Part 1 & Part 2 first; or, better yet, read the whole lil academic rivals micros series so you can catch all the references in this silly little trio-finale that I've had far too much fun writing :D

James is having a good time. Well – he's having a fine time. He's not hating the whole thing, anyway. After two weeks of hearing it beside his ear, he's starting to get used to the volume of Tamara's laugh, and she is actually funny sometimes. Her dark hair falls across her shoulders in a way he should find attractive, and her foot keeps “accidentally” touching his calf in a way he should like, and she peers at him through her lashes in a way he should find enticing…

But he just keeps thinking about lemon tart.

Because, here's the thing. He knows it's Lily's favorite – she complained about its absence at the start of term feast last year, and when they had the lesson on Amortentia it was the only scent she actually named, and she told him – and only a few weeks ago, at that! He'd offered to share his sticky toffee pudding and she'd pulled a face, remarking it was far too sweet for her liking, and he'd said, “Ah, right, lemon tart,” and she'd smirked and shrugged, which, alright, wasn't a firm ‘yes, that's my favorite’, but he knows her smirks…so what's she playing at? 

“James?” Tamara's sweet-like-toffee-pudding voice draws his attention back. “You alright?” she asks with a laugh. 

“Oh, yeah,” James chuckles, waving a hand. “Sorry, got, er… Well, your hair just looks really nice.” 

She beams, and he's an arse. He’s very aware of this. He’s always sort of teetered on the edge of being an arse – though, yes, on a number of occasions he’s fully fallen on the side of the arseholes… Alright, fine, for a number of years he fell on the side of the arseholes, but, you know, barely, and – the point is, he never would have become this big of an arse on purpose… It all just sort of happened. One moment he’s awkwardly agreeing that a girl is cute, the next moment he’s talking to her in the hallway because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying ‘sorry, that joke was really only for my mates’, and all of a sudden, she’s eating lunch with him every day and asking what he’s doing for the Hogsmeade visit this weekend and he’s trying to come up with something other than ‘obsessing about fucking lemon tart, what about you?’

Tammy giggles. “Thanks…” she says, nervously tugging on a strand of hair. “Well, erm, I was saying – I’ve never actually tried butterbeer, but it’s really good.”

James nods, “Yeah, definitely.”

Merlin’s mother's saggy tits, though, if it isn't lemon tart, then what the fuck's Lily Evans’ favorite dessert?

—

“‘Join me’?” Lily repeats, incredulous at this request. “You want to help me crash your best mate’s date?”

The three Gryffindors share glances between one another and mumble unintelligibly before turning back to her each with a shrug and a nod. 

“We’re really bored,” Peter explains. 

“And I don’t actually think he’ll care much,” Remus says, shrugging again.

“Plus,” Sirius adds with a grin, “I’m dying to see how red James’s face’ll get.”

“Wait,” Lily turns her eyes to Remus. “Why don’t you think he’ll care much?”

The three boys start sharing glances again, and Lily huffs.

“Would you quit with that!” she barks, glaring when Sirius chortles.

“Blimey, Evans, no need to get hostile…”

“At least it’s only a Level Three…” she hears Peter mutter.

“Level Three, really?” Sirius sounds incredulous. “Pete, c’mon, she’s clearly only at Level Two.”

“I’m what?” 

Annoyance pounding in her veins, Lily checks over her shoulder out of habit, and catches a glimpse of Tamara’s foot tapping James’s leg beneath the table. The tips of her ears burn and she feels nauseous. 

She can’t stand this a minute longer.

“Fine,” she tells the boys, then turns and enters the pub before she can change her mind.

(This really ran away from me, so read the rest on AO3!)

[slowlyhardgoatee]

(This is for/inspired by @wrestleafterdark2)

Ah, there it is.

The sweet sound of a faggot in pain. Like music to my ears, that is. I have to confess, when I heard you were on the verge of being kicked out of college I told the dean I’d get you back on track, and when you said you’d do anything to retain your scholarship… well. 

I think you know what’s in store for you from now on, boy. Regular classes are cancelled as far as you’re concerned. You’re here to submit, serve and suffer - and let me tell you those nipple clamps you’re wearing and that cock cage I’ve got you in are just the start. Lucky for me you’ve got a pretty big cock. You know I bought a cock cage I knew would be far too small for you and made you put it on anyway, just so I’d see you writhe in pain every time you moved. And as for those nipple clamps, boy, I’ll be spending a lot of time tugging on the chain that connects them - purely because it causes you pain. In fact, I’ll be spending even more time using that chain to pull them so hard it rips them off you altogether. Then I’ll put them back on you and have you beg me to rip ‘em off you again. I’m gonna shred your nipples for you by the end of the semester, faggot. And you’ll beg me to do it. 

I told the dean I’d have you doing work for me for extra credit - and that’s certainly true. I just didn’t tell him what kind of work. So here’s how this is gonna go. That cock cage and those clamps do not come off, at all, between now and Christmas break. I mean you’re gonna be wearing them 24/7, faggot. In addition to this, I notice that some of the other guys in your frat house refer to you as a brown-noser because you’re the only one of them to get into college on a scholarship. That’s certainly gonna be true as well, boy, because your main duties while you’re working for me are gonna be to replace all my toilet paper. With your tongue. That’s right, boy, you’re gonna be my personal order-following rim slave. Starting right this second. And if you hesitate for even a second to do exactly as you’re told, I’m flushing your scholarship down the nearest toilet, before making you beg me to piss in your fucking mouth. On your back under that rim chair, faggot. Now. Head on that hard cushion underneath it. No, it’s not comfortable. I don’t give a fuck. Your comfort is my last consideration, boy. Yeah, scream while I tug on that chain, faggot. Remember what you’re fucking here for. 

Atta fucking boy. Let me just sit down… there. Get really used to that view, boy - you’ll be seeing it for just about every waking moment for the next four months. Oh you ain’t going back to that frat house. No, I need your body and mouth on tap. You’ll sleep right in this office, in the back. The first thing I’m gonna need every morning when I come in is a good, hungry rim job. 

Speaking of which, get started. Go on, pig. Time to turn you into a proper brown-noser. What’s the holdup, boy, why are you hesitating? Don’t make me remind you of what happens if you hesitate to follow an order. I know it’s not fucking clean back there, that’s what you’re for, remember? Now, French kiss my dirty, sweaty arsehole like you fucking mean it, pig. Go on. Get that faggot tongue all the fucking way up there. Go on, boy. Far as you can get it. Thaaaat’s the fucking stuff, you dirty little slut. Fuck yeah, pig boy. Yeah, fucking make out with my arsehole, you cunt. Good boy. 

Oh - I didn’t say stop. Just because I’m tugging on that chain a little doesn’t mean you stop, boy. If anything it means tongue my hole harder. Get it proper deep up in there. That’s it. Right… fucking… there. Good pig. Your new extra credit classes are gonna be Rim Jobs 101, Pain Pig Tutorial and Cock and Ball Worship Workshop. You only pass the semester and keep your scholarship if I say you get 100% in each one. If you don’t, I rip up your scholarship and stuff the paper in your fucking mouth while I rape a load up your faggot cunt. Then I’ll make you re-sit every extra credit class from the beginning. Sound good to you, pig? Yeah, course it fucking does. Keep licking my arse out, faggot. You ain’t barely even started with me yet. 

[tangerinesgf]

You Look Happier Pt.2

Tangerine x fem!reader

Summary: Tangerine left because he thought you’d be better off without him, but neither of you really moved on.

Tags/Warnings: language, jealousy, smut, bit of angst, cheating

Disclaimer: English is not my first language and I didn’t proofread it, cuz I'm lazy and really wanted to get this out there :)

A/N: this got a bit longer than I intended it to be, but I was having too much fun with it so I couldn’t help myself. Hope you like it too!!

18+ Minors DNI!!

Tangerine had been sure leaving you had been the right decision. It’s like he said on the night he left, what he had to offer you was no life, no matter how much he loved you. He still believed that. He also still loved you. 

That made the way you had talked to him sting ever more. You had every right to hate him. Tangerine certainly hated himself for leaving you, but he had seen no other option at that time. 

Of course you had moved on. He didn’t expect you to just wait around for him all your life in the hope that one day he would change his mind. Partially because up till one week ago, he’d never planned to. 

Yet here he was in his car outside of you apartment building, deciding if he ought to go in or not. Tangerine knows he shouldn’t, he left you. He had made that decision. Then how come he’s here, almost crawling back to you after he saw you with some guy that wasn’t him. Fucking hypocritical it is. 

He started at your window for another 10 minutes before finally giving in. Fuck it. If he was gonna do it he might as well get it over with. He slammed his car door shut and pulled his coat together, making his way over to the entrance of the building. 

As he walked up the stairs to your apartment he thought of what he was going to say, but by the time he was standing in front of your door his mind was still blank. 

He was about to knock on the door, finally having found the courage when he heard a voice coming up behind him.

“Hey.” Tangerine recognized the man from the pictures in your apartment. Your boyfriend. He looked okay, fancy with his grey suit and slicked back hair. Guess you had a type. 

“Hello.” 

“Can I help you?” 

Fuck, yeah... what was he doing here exactly?

“Uh, yeah, I used to be friends with your partner, thought I’d stop by, but if you’re busy I can always come back later.” Meaning never, Tangerine didn’t think he’d find the courage in himself to try this again. 

“Nonsense, we’re about to have dinner, I’m sure she’d love to see an old friend.” 

Great...he’s fuckin' polite too.

Tangerine gives him a smile he hopes doesn’t come off as forced and steps aside so the fancy prick can open the door. He just now realizes he doesn’t actually know his name. 

“I’m Richard by the way.” introducing himself as he walks inside.

“Tangerine.” he mumbled back, not really in the mood for any fruit related questions. 

At the reveal of his name, nothing happens on the man's face, no sort of recognition, suggesting he's never heard about Tangerine before. Meaning you'd never mentioned him, at least not by his name. He shouldn’t care, you were allowed to move on. That’s all Tangerine had wanted when he left, for you to find someone better then him.

Maybe you had referred to him as your 'arsehole ex'. He wouldn't blame you if you did.

However before Richard can respond, you walked into the living room, probably having heard the front door.  

"Hey, honey."

You immediately ran for your boyfriend, completely missing Tangerine standing awkwardly by the door as you hugged him.

The man pulled back to give you a kiss on your cheek, then gesturing to Tangerine who had to watch all of that while trying not to vomit.

"Look who I found at the front door."

The smile on your face fell instantly once your eyes landed on Tangerine.

"Tangerine?" You breathed out just loud enough for him to hear on the other side of the room.

Richard was still painfully obliviously to the situation at hand.

"Why don't you two catch up and I'll get supper ready, hopefully you made enough for 3."

"Oh that won't be necessary, love, Tangerine's not staying." You said looking straight into his eyes. "He has places to be, don’t ya Tan?"

He was gonna say yes and just leave. He really was, but apparently his brain had other plans. “Actually I’m free all night, darlin’.” 

'Darling' was whispered just loud enough so only you could hear it. You glared daggers at him, what in the hell was he up to?

"Wonderful.” Richard shouted from the kitchen.

Dinner was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to sit through. It was in moments like this Tangerine wished he had better social skills. He had to admit you were fairly good at pretending the two of you were actually old friends, painfully good. 

Richard was probably one of the nicest guys he’d ever met. God knows he wouldn’t have just let an old friend who also happened to be a guy visit you out of the blue. There was always a reason beyond just catching up, Tangerine himself was the perfect example of that. 

He should be happy for you, he couldn’t imagine that the prick wasn’t giving you everything you deserved and more. But seeing the two of you looked at each other and the way he kept his hand firm on your thigh he couldn’t help but think that it should be him. 

His jealousy is acting up again and he hates it. Both you and Lemon told him he should talk to someone, but he never did. He didn’t need it without you. The longer the night went on the more frustrated he got. The kissing and stomach-churning pet names were driving him fuckin’ insane.

Just as he went to put his arm around you again, Tangerine’s self-restraint broke.

"Will you quit fuckin' doing that?" He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. He couldn’t help it, it just slipped out. Richard just stared at him in confusion, while you on the other hand

“Tangerine, can I talk to you? In private.” you said, wrangling yourself out of Richard’s grip to stand up.

He was sure you could see the frustration on his face, not quite sure how Richard didn’t notice since Tangerine felt like he was about to explode. 

“Of course, yeah.” 

He followed you to your bedroom, waiting until you locked the door behind you. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You look like you’re about to burst a fucking vein.” At that moment it looked like you yourself might burst one, clearly agitated by his childish behavior. 

“What's wrong with me?! That fucker is holding onto you like he fuckin' owns you.” Tangerine knows he has no right to be bothered by it, but he can’t help it. 

“We’re dating, Tan, you used to do the exact same thing, remember?” you said matter-of-factly. 

He did in fact remember that. God did he miss the feeling of you tucked into his side as the two of you fell asleep on the couch to your favorite show.

“Yea, but he’s not me.” Tangerine stated as he took a step towards you. 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“It means, love, that every time that prick touches you I want to cut his fuckin’ arms off.” Another step.

Tangerine slightly lifted your chin up with his hand. You didn’t recall when he had gotten so close to you. For a moment you stay like that, a loud silence filling the room. 

The next moment his lips were on yours, kissing you hard. His hands roamed all over you from your hair to the curves of your body. There were no words that could describe how much he missed this. Missed you.

For a moment you allowed yourself to kiss him back, getting lost in the way his lips felt on yours. It was too long before you fully registered what was happening. Too long before you finally pushed Tangerine away from you.

“The hell was that?” You tried to get your breathing under control as you backed away from him.

Tangerine could tell you were trying to come off as angry, but found it impossible to take you seriously. Your lips were slightly puffed and your cheeks were red. Hair messed up from where he had grabbed at it before. God you were beautiful.

“Tangerine, why did you come here?” 

“Because I thought I could move on, that I could forget about ya, but it’s been 2 years and I still think about you every single day.” You could tell from the way he’s looking at you that it’s true, but that didn’t change anything. He still left you. 

"You have no right." You scoffed. 

"You can't just come in here and expect me to throw away my entire life for you after you left me!” You said, careful not to yell too loud. 

“You don't think I know that? You think I like being like this, love?” Tangerine stepped closer again. You tried to back away, but were met with the wall behind you.

“Stop calling me that.” 

Tangerine was now hovering over you, trapping you between his body and the wall. “I tried so fuckin’ hard not to love you, to let you go, but the truth is that I can’t. I need you.”

“Well that’s too bad for you, ‘cause I have.” You could feel Tangerine staring directly at you, but you refused to make eye-contact knowing you could never resist those demanding eyes of his.

"Have you?” 

“Yes.” you breathed out, still looking at the ground beneath you.  

“Didn’t feel like that from the way you kissed me just a second ago.” He brought his hand to your face again, lifting you chin up forcing you to make direct eye contact with him. 

“Now you be honest with me, when he touches you, is it his face you see or mine?” Tangerine’s eyes never leave yours as one of his hands slides down your body and starts undoing your belt, the other still cupping your face.

“Tan, we can’t.” your breathing became more ragged as he continued to roam his hands over you, purposely ignoring his question. This was wrong, so fucking wrong. Your boyfriend was innocently waiting in the living room while your ex was trying to finger fuck you against the other side of the door.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” his hands gently pushed your pants down to give himself better access. 

You should tell him to stop, you know that, but no words came out of your mouth as he continued to pushed your panties aside. He raises his eyebrow asking for permission to continue as if he didn’t already have you wrapped around his ringed finger. 

Tangerine took the moan that escaped from your lips when his fingers ghosted over your clit as a cue to continue. You threw you head back against the wall as he slowly pushed one digit inside you. 

“Fuck, love, you’re already so wet for me.” his mouth went to your exposed throat kissing and sucking on it lightly. Before he could even think about leaving a mark you managed to push him away, only to drag him back pulling his lips to meet yours. 

After lazily pumping his finger in and out a few times he added a second without warning, whimpers forcing their way past your lips. You could feel the rings on his fingers against your sensitive skin every time his fingers thrust back into your cunt, hitting that perfect spot every single time. 

You had been doing a decent job at keeping quiet until Tangerine decided to see how far he could go and added a third finger into your folds. And if that wasn’t already driving you over the edge he crooked his finger inside you, dragging them along your walls. 

A loud moan escaped from you mouth and Tangerine’s other hand immediately came up to cover it, but giving no indication that he was going to slow down his movements. 

“Shh, can’t have your boyfriend hearing your pretty little sounds now, can we?” 

But apparently Richard had already heard something, because not seconds later there was a knock on the door. Tangerine slowed his pace, but not completely stopping, as you waited for what would come next. Luckily you had remembered to lock the door behind you. 

“You two alright in there?” he called through the door.

“Yeah we’re good, we’ll be right out.” You hoped you sounded convincing enough. You knew Tangerine was loving this, the way you tried to hide how fucked out you already were from just his fingers. 

“Good girl.” he praised after he heard your boyfriend walk away from the door.

There was something so thrilling about almost getting caught, right now it only made you want Tangerine more. You felt your climax getting closer and closer as he picked up where he left off thrusting in and out your cunt at an unforgiving pace. 

Apparently Tangerine could sense your upcoming orgasm too as his fingers started dragging along your walls impossibly faster, he knew exactly how to get you off and you fucking hated it. Hated how you’re supposed to be over him, but still allowed this to happen. 

Every single one of those thoughts left your mind as the pleasure of your orgasm took over. There was nothing on your mind except him and the way he was making you everything you hadn’t felt in years. Tangerine slowed his pace as he helped you ride out your high.

“That’s it, love, did so well for me.” he continued to whisper praises into your ear as you tried to get yourself back together. 

After a while he pulled his fingers out and you whined at the empty feeling they left behind. Before you could even get your breathing under control Tangerine brought his fingers, still covered in your juices, up to your mouth. Knowing where he was going with this you opened your mouth and starting to suck them off.

After he was satisfied he walked over to the bathroom connected your bedroom, grabbing some paper towels to clean you up. By the time he was done, you started to get your common sense back, realizing what you had just done. 

“Fuck.” 

A/N: decided to make a part 3 and perhaps a part 4 to this, because I have too many ideas :) 

Taglist: @venusthepirate @waiting4ff @bratdoll666 @assmaster37 @wrendermedone @earth-elemental18 @nocturnest @sisterslytherinog@dontknownameauthor @thirstyfortangerine @betheac​ @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart​ @kpopgirlbtssvt​ (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[pfhwrittes]

it is i, the gasping gusper, once more asking for the worst english slang you can think of (mostly so i can force the 141 boys to say them hehe)

gasping anon, you have opened a can of worms that i am only too happy to feed. buckle up, this is going to get long.

so, a fair bit of the slang used in the uk is regional and won't apply broadly for all of the 141 boys, soap in particular would have very different slang compared to gaz, ghost and price as he's scottish. actually, they'd all use different slang terms due to their geographical locations in the uk, age, race and (assumed) class backgrounds.

for example, simon could say something like "oh for fuckssakes that's absolutely 'angin'!" and that would be regionally correct as he's from manchester. "'angin'" or "hanging" (except with simon's mancunian accent he'd drop the 'h' and the last 'g' in the '-ing' sound) means gross / disgusting. it means fuck all in other places in the uk but from where i live you'd switch "'angin'" (hanging) out with "boggin'" (bogging) or "'owlin'" (howling) to indicate grossness.

anyway, that example aside, i do actually have some slang phrases that i want to share with you. they all vary in levels of awfulness and they should all be understood pretty broadly around the uk.

"stop standing around like a spare dick at an orgy!" = don't be useless. (fun fact: my mum said that phrase to me. cheers mum.)

"noshing him off" = "nosh" means eat/food. "noshing him off" means sucking a dick. english is such a wonderful language.

"they're like a dog with two cocks." = they're happy, annoyingly happy actually. bastard.

"off for a slash" = off for a piss, usually not in the provided facilities.

"tighter than a duck's arsehole" = to mean awkward, stingy or small. it's a bit of a weird one. if you call someone "tighter than a duck's arsehole" you're calling them stingy or cheap. if you're referring to a space as "tighter than a duck's arsehole" it's a very cramped/awkward/small. context is everything.

"nonce" = pedophile. yup. don't call someone a nonce unless you know them VERY well and you know they won't get upset if you say it as a joke.

"what an utter cock up" = same thing as "screw up" or saying that something's gone wrong.

"bollocking" = a proper telling off (for example, i got a bollocking off my mum when i accidentally threw a spider at her).

"bell end" = literally the tip of a dick. don't use this for smut writing whatever you do, it's used as an insult here.

and finally, my favourite saying. disclaimer with this one: it's welsh, not english or scottish so the lads from 141 aren't likely to say it but i want to subject you to it:

10. "i'd rather shit in my hands and clap." = literally what it means. the person saying it would rather shit in their hands and clap than do whatever you've just asked them to do. enjoy that mental image.

anyway, let me know if you want to hear some more english slang or insults. i've got years worth of insults built up inside of me.

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Part 8 - When We Are Together - Instagram AU, Matty Healy Series

A/n: hiya my loves. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is continuing to read this series, it means a lot to me... This series is and always will be my baby, I'll be posting what I have slowly and then the first half on this series will be finished, I will be finishing it completely as and when it comes to me so keep an eye out if you're interested:)

Series Masterlist

thisislou:

thisislou they think they're so cool @bedforddanes @trumanblack

Liked by trumanblack, bedforddanes75, bandmate and 348,991 others

View all comments

fan1 look at those likes! She famous famous

trumanblack excuse me but we are cool

-> thisislou sure Matthew 😉

-> trumanblack I hate you

-> thisislou don't lie, we both know you never hated me 😚

-> trumanblack na I'm obsessed with you 🥰

-> 75fan @trumanblack @thisislou WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNN

bedforddanes75 you're basically our photographer now

-> thisislou I'll add it to my cv.: The 1975 pianist ✅ the 1975 photographer ✅ The 1975 tour saver ✅ all around best human ever ✅

-> rass1975 I'll be your reference for this

-> thisislou thanks boo 😘😂

trumanblack:

trumanblack at least we didn't smoke.... p.s we literally paid a pap to give us this picture

Liked by thisislou, bedforddanes75 and 321,128 others

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fan1 omg is this Lou!!!

thisislou so good at following the rules aren't we?

-> trumanblack that we are baby ❤️

bedforddanes75 this is sickening... I preferred it when you hated each other... jk

-> thisislou we can go back to that if you'd like?

-> bedforddanes75 actually I change my mind... You were both more unbearable back then

mynamesmia this explains where you both disappeared to

-> thisislou excuse me I think you were a bit too busy to notice 👀

rass1975 oi oi

trumanblack:

trumanblack as seen on my phone screen @thisislou

Liked by thisislou, bedforddanes75 and 231,879 others

thisislou adore you ❤️ we cute bby

-> trumanblack that we are

rassthe1975 the best couple truly

bedforddanes75 my best friends ❤️

mynamesmia cuties

75fan I'm crying 😭 this has made my year

loufanpage I'm so happy. Thank you Matty for loving our girl the way she deserves

1975adam ❤️❤️

fan1 it's real 🥹 I'm so happy I might cry

thisislou and trumanblack

thisislou thank you for being patient with us 🖤 I love you @trumanblack

Liked by trumanblack, rass1975, mynamesmia and 672,719 others

trumanblack lucky to have you by my side 🖤 I love you

-> thisislou I love you ❣️

fan1 " but you... It was different with you" 😭 is this a new song maybe?

Liked by thisislou

loufanpage I've never been so happy

75fan omg 🥹 this makes me so happy, honestly no one better for our Matty

mynamesmia happy for you sis... Better give her back though @trumanblack

-> trumanblack no promises

rosetintedglasses okay but... Cute

-> trumanblack look at you being nice

-> rosetintedglasses don't ruin it ratty

cami_in_camo happy for you ❣️

-> thisislou ❣️❣️

rass1975 my people ❣️

loufan is that the rat from that gay band?

-> trumanblack yes that would be me

-> thisislou but you're my rat baby @trumanblack

[avalentina]

Halloween Shenanigans

Individual images are not mine, all I did was create the collages.

Warnings: established 3-way Relationship, implied sexual content, minors DNI, some small Halloween references

Chelsea is throwing a last minute Halloween costume party for the entire club. Which means you now need a costume. Chris is being silly and wearing a Jets jersey with a cowboy hat and Mase is pretending to be Michael Jordan. So you think you should stick to the sports theme as well and you know just the outfit, Alex Morgan.

You were just going to wear a Chelsea jersey, but all of yours have one of their last names on it and you didn't want to make either of them think it was a competition. Besides, Alex was your favorite player growing up. You have a San Diego Wave kit in your closet because you really liked the colors. Plus Christian may or may not have pulled a few strings to allow you to meet your hero. He and Mase took you to a game and it was so much fun. You slip into the kit, add her signature pink pre-wrap headband and your PUMA ultra cleats that Chris got for you because they match the kit really well. You snap a quick selfie of you with your boys before heading out.

When you arrive Mase runs off to grab drinks for all three of you, while you and Chris meet up with Ben and Reece. Most of the players know about the three of you, as well as some of the staff, but you aren't quite ready to have everyone in on your secret life yet. Ben, Reece, Kepa, and Kai are some of the best supporters you have. While none of them fully get the situation you all are in, they know how much you mean to Mase and Chris as well as how much both of your boys mean to you.

Kai, Sophia, Kepa, and Andrea join you in the booth you're all currently at. Kepa and Andrea dressed as The Joker and Harley Quinn. Kai and Sophia did Barbie and Ken, while Reece, Chilly, and Jorginho went with being DunKings. The conversation between all of you flows easily and before you know it the girls have talked you into hitting the dance floor with them, no boys allowed. Just a good old girl time gossip sesh. Once you're out of the booth the other boys are able to catch sight of your full costume.

"Yo… when did Alex Morgan get here?" Kai teases you.

"I would not want to be the one in net against her." Kepa adds and you laugh.

"I expected the dumb and dumber act from Ben and Reece, not you two arseholes." You say back before turning and walking off with Sophia and Andrea. The three of you hit the dance floor for a bit to gossip about your love lives, they are the only two girls that you have confided in about your relationship with Mase and Chris.

After a few songs you are in need of a drink so you head to the bar before meeting back up with your boys. After finishing your latest drink you grab one of each of their hands and try to pull them onto the dance floor with you.

“Baby, what are you trying to do?” Mase asks, arching an eyebrow.

“What does it look like I'm trying to do stupid, I want to dance with both of my boyfriends. At the same time. No more of this half ass crap. I'm dating the two hottest guys on the Chelsea first team and I want 100% of both of their attentions.” You tell him.

“So much for our cute, shy girl Mase, drunk y/n is confident, needy, and bossy in a very sexy kind of way.” Chris adds before letting you pull him up. Mase too and together the three of you head to the dance floor. Mason behind you, Christian in front of you. Mase has his hands on your hips helping the two of you lock into a rhythm that once you get, you pull Chris into it by wrapping your arms around his neck.

“C’mere cowboy!” You holler as you pull him in. “Excuse me, You look like you love me, in that cowboy hat.” You giggle at your use of the lyrics from one of the songs Chris has on his country playlist.

You dance for awhile until a throwback song that you and Mase love comes on in the club.

You tilt your head so you can whisper into Mase’s ear. “Your fingertips trace my skin, to places I have never been.” You sing along with the words.

Mase and Chris look at each other. Trying to decide how soon we can all get out of here. Drunk me is a tease, and I've been riling them both up while dancing. Not letting either of them pull back whatsoever. I'm sure that all they want right now is to take me home, sober me up, tie me up, and fuck me into the early hours of the morning. Something I have no complaints about. Once the current song is over they take me back to the table where Kai and Kepa are, sit me down with a glass of water and ask them to keep an eye on me until they get back.

They return with Chelsea goodie bags full of swag and new merch along with a few pieces of candy and some new protein shake powder packets. Apparently there's also a WAG bag of which they each were given one which means I get 2!

“Okay baby let's head home,” Mase says as Christian offers me his arm to help keep me steady.

“But I want to stay and dance more, and drink more, and party more, with Sophia and Andrea.” I complain, totally ignoring Christian's gesture.

“Baby, come on, let us take you home and then we can have a movie night. With Twitches and Twitches Too, your favorites. We can even stop and pick up some Halloween snacks on the way. How does that sound?” Chris coaxes.

“Fine. But I want a lot of snacks, and my favorite soda.”

“Deal,” Mase says and the three of you head out after the girls swing over for a big group photo. They are your football family after all.

Happy Halloween Y'all!

Feedback is appreciated as always!

-Ava

[mercwiththem0uth]

Lonely - Ollie Plimsoles

summary; [Ollie x Reader] everyone knows how erratic and unpredictable ollie can be. he is very hard work. however, you know that deep down there is more than meets the eye - you want to see underneath his defensive exterior and prove how gentle he can truly be. will you be successful?

warnings; mild swearing, mild reference to smut

--- --- ---

I exhaled loudly, huffing in annoyance. myself, dave and phil had just recited the same scene for what felt like the 500th time in a row, and ollie was still not satisfied. "no!" he exclaimed, rising abruptly from his seat, "you're still doing it wrong!"

"i don't know what more you want from us, ollie" dave sighed with a frown across his face, his hand that held his script falling limp down by his side in exhaustion.

"i've told you exactly what i want, i've told all three of you!" he sneered, making sure to spin in a small circle to glance at all of us. it baffled me that I somehow had a huge crush on this man. I hadn't been in legz akimbo for a long time, only for a few weeks. I was soon to be taking phil's place as he was leaving to pursue bigger things. lucky bastard, I thought to myself.

when I first met ollie, I was immediately charmed by his boyish demeanour. I thought his swooped blonde hair, large glasses, and oversized jumpers were insanely cute. but the longer I spent with him in the job environment, the more he just began to simply piss me off. his uncontrollable bursts of persistent anger just really put me off of him. I wanted to know the full story, but I assumed that it all stemmed from him still hurting over his failed marriage that he would often go on long rambles about. "linda did this, linda did that". It was like I never heard the end of it, eventhough I didn't know much about it at all.

I did feel bad for ollie. there would be times where I wanted to just go up to him and give him a gentle hug, or tell him that everything was alright. but then he'd immediately spoil it by being an arsehole.

"hello? are you even listening to me?" I was pulled from my trance by ollie's fingers snapping in-front of my face. he stared at me with deep anticipation, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to answer his question.

"huh?" was all I could manage, unsure of what the man had been saying for the past few minutes. he huffed deeply and rolled his eyes before repeating himself. "the others are leaving for their lunch break. i want you to stay here for a moment so we can discuss some things."

"oh? okay..." I said sheepishly and followed him to the row of chairs placed in the rehearsal hall. ollie sat down and gestured for me to sit opposite him.

"so, y/n" he said, crossing his legs and placing a clipboard on his knee. "how are you finding your time in legz akimbo so far?" he stared into my eyes with such intensity with his jawline tightening, that I felt my heart beat quicken, and my cheeks blush with heat. there was something so irresistible about him, and I feared that maybe he or the the other lads might have picked up on my uncontrollable behaviour around him. it was only every so often, but certain things that he did, like pushing his fallen fringe out of his face or running his tongue along the inside of his cheek, made me feel so giddy and silly - like I was a teenage girl interacting with the highschool jock.

I thought about his question. I had been enjoying it, I'd made great friends with dave and phil, and would be left laying alone every night with my mind racing over thoughts of ollie (only when he wasn't excessively angry or hadn't been nasty towards me, of course.) there was something deeply charming about him when he was calm. he was extremely sweet and would sometimes do things that made me wonder if he actually did care for me.

one time he had me standing on a step ladder as phil and I were acting a window-cleaning scene. I had lost my balance and came crashing down to the stage below, and he was at my side in milliseconds, crouched down and asking if I was hurt. I can still feel the sparks that I felt on my skin as he caressed my wrist and held my hands so that he could help me stand up. something in me snapped that day, and I was determined to find the real ollie underneath his hardened exterior.

"i'm loving it, actually." only a slight lie. I did love it, but ollie could be really hurtful at times, undermining my performances and making me feel like a scolded child. his lips curled into a small smile as he nodded. "i'm finding it really enjoyable with the guys, dave especially. he's made it so easy for me" I smiled brightly back at him. dave and I had become very close, we would often go out for drinks after work or meet up to rehearse lines together. unfortunately he wasn't close enough to me yet to know about my affectionate feelings towards ollie, but he certainly knew about the bad feelings, due to the countless times we had ranted for hours to eachother regarding his poor attitude.

I watched as the smile on his lips seemed to vanish, he looked down at the clipboard and cleared his throat quickly. "very well, then" he said, standing up and briskly walking over to his desk. "you can go for lunch now. go find dave." he sounded bitter but I had no idea why. I hesitated slightly before asking if he would like to join. "...no thanks," he replied, his back still turned to me. "i've got writing to do" his voice was small, and there was something else that I couldn't quite place. sadness, maybe? there came that familiar yearning that I'd feel when I just wanted to comfort him.

"are you sure? you-" he cut me off with his usual "i'm FINE" as he scurried to pick up random, discarded papers all over the desk. I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. to prevent upsetting him further, I turned and left out the stage door, wishing there was something I could do.

---

a couple more weeks had passed, phil had left, and it was just me, ollie and dave. I sat in the usual rehearsal hall, a pen gripped between my teeth, as I stared at the men before me.

ever since my chat with ollie, I had tried on many occasions to invite him out with me and dave for drinks, or perhaps go over to his place to just chill and watch some movies, but each time I got rejected.

"i'm busy, y/n", "no thanks", "i'm fine on my own" were his usual replies. it's not like I was asking him out on dates, so I didn't necessarily feel pain from his rejections, but I did feel sad that he was refusing to make any attempts to get to know me better, or allow me to know him. as I stared at him trying on wigs and different clothes for our new performance, I had decided to just leave him alone. he was clearly solitary, and no efforts on my behalf was seemingly going to change that.

I flicked through the script and came to a stop on another scene where dave and I were going to share a kiss. ollie had been writing really strangely for the past 2 weeks or so, lots of physical acts between me and dave. i didn't necessarily mind. I was a professional after all, and I could kiss my coworker with a straight face, but even dave had mentioned the strange nature to me. I looked up as dave left the room to grab more props, and I used my opportunity to speak to him.

"hey, ollie?" i said standing behind him.

"hmm?" he half-hummed, not turning around or even bothering to stop what he was doing to pay attention to me. "can i speak to you?"

"listen y/n, i've already told you that I don't want to go out with you and dave tonight. I'm busy."

I rolled my eyes, "not about that. I'm just a bit confused by your scripts recently"

he span around to look at me. "why? what's the issue? are you saying that my writing's bad?" he said getting flustered already.

"no! not at all!" i said quickly, trying to calm him before he escalated. "it's just- well... why have there been so many close scenes between me and dave?" I didn't want it to seem like I was complaining. ollie was my boss after all, and we genuinely didn't have a problem with kissing eachother. it wasn't awkward, especially as we only saw eachother as friends, but it's just spiralling a bit. I mean, the other day we did a presentation in front of young children, and ollie still managed to make us hug and share a quick smooch, eventhough it was completely irrelevant to the story.

"what do you mean?" he said, seeming genuinely confused. "I thought that's what you would want."

I accidentally let out a small breath of laughter through my nose, and asked "why?", making him look at me even more confused.

"well, you are dating, aren't you?" my eyes grew wide. that was the last thing I was expecting him to say.

"no? we're not," I laughed nervously, probably answering a bit too quickly. "why would you think that?"

"well, you're always together. why wouldn't I think that?" there were mixed emotions plastered all over his face. confusion, disbelief, a hint of jealousy, and I dare say I saw some sort of relief?

"We're just friends, ollie. I'm not interested in him like that. We'll always do the scenes professionally if we have to, but can we please cut them down a bit?"

he nodded his head rapidly, his eyes staring towards the floor. "yeah, sorry." he mumbled, grabbing the script from my hand and walking over to the desk before using a pen to aggressively cross out some lines. i stood on the opposite side of the desk, watching him. "here", he lifted his head and hand to give me my script back, but stopped in his tracks when he realised just how close we were. our faces were inches apart, and he swallowed slowly. i felt his breath on my nose, "thanks" i whispered, raising my trembling hand to take the script from his, not once breaking eye contact.

a loud crash was suddenly heard as a clueless dave walked in through the door, carrying boxes of props and dropping most of them on his way. he breathed heavily as he slumped them down on the floor, mumbling incoherent profanities. I turned from ollie and quickly walked over to dave so that I could help him.

we all rummaged through hundreds of props, but I couldn't concentrate at all. what on earth just happened? was that a "moment" between us? what would've happened if dave hadn't walked in? my heart was still pounding from the silly exchange, in perspective all we did was share some eye contact, but still, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I really hoped that ollie's assumptions about me and dave hadn't been the reason that he was refusing to spend any time with me, because it could've been fixed a long time ago.

---

as I had been dreading, it was the end of the day, and it was time to leave. myself and ollie hadn't really spoken since what happened earlier that afternoon. dave had wasted no time leaving after mentioning that he wouldn't be coming out tonight anymore, as he had apparently hurt his back from carrying those boxes.

great, another night of sitting alone, I thought. I grabbed my stuff and started packing my bag up, and I could see ollie out of the corner of my eye doing the same thing. I pulled my jacket on and cleared my throat awkwardly, "well, goodnight then." I said, secretly hoping that it wasn't goodnight, and I could somehow spend more time with him.

"'night" he replied, putting on his own coat and smiling softly at me. my heart nearly melted. this was the ollie plimsolls that I wanted to always be around. my heart rate elevated and i almost became light-headed as I was barely plucking up the courage to ask this next question. I held my own hands and fiddled with my fingers as I looked at him, "I don't suppose you'd maybe want to, I don't know, go grab a drink? dave isn't coming anymore so it would be nice for some company" I gave him a half-hearted smile, already expecting to hear his usual rejection.

"what, you'd really go a get a drink alone?" he asked, and I was shocked to not have immediately heared the words 'no thanks'.

"well... yeah. it's better than just sitting at home by myself." I shrugged, realising that I was probably making myself sound like such a loser, but it was true. I hated admitting it, but I was quite lonely. having only recently left my home-town to join legz akimbo and leaving behind all my friends and family, it was hard. but that's why i was so desperate to get to know ollie, I could sense his loneliness as well. and I wanted to help him.

"yeah, you could say that again." he nodded, "okay, let's go." I couldn't believe it, not only had ollie agreed to see me outside of work, but he'd also just basically admitted that he would also be sitting at home alone tonight. i knew i was right.

we walked in silence to the nearest pub, I knew that ollie didn't live too far from here, and I only lived a short taxi ride away. he held the door open for me when we arrived and I smiled gratefully at him before we took our seats on some empty stools at the bar, and ordered our drinks.

"so," i began, pointing my body more towards him, "what do you get up to outside of work?" It felt weird asking him questions like this considering I'd known him for a couple of months, but in reality I didn't actually know him at all.

"uh, not much" he stuttered, "all I really do is work now." I nodded and took a sip of my drink, and I noticed he took large gulps of his, before ordering another round. "I have nothing else to really do to be honest, not since linda..." he trailed off and I looked at him sadly, eventhough he was avoiding my gaze.

"I am sorry, ollie." I said truthfully. I couldn't imagine being cheated on, having your entire trust destroyed like that.

"It's not your fault," he looked at me confused, not understanding my basic empathy, "it's mine."

"what? how is it your fault?"

"she always said I wasn't man enough for her" he said, avoiding my eyes again.

"that's bullshit, ollie. everything she did to you is all a reflection on her, it's got nothing to do with you." he sat quietly before shrugging his shoulders. "I mean it, this was absolutely not your fault." I watched as he downed the rest of his first drink, before reaching for his second.

considering he still hadn't said anything, I continued. "you do know that, don't you?" my hand slowly reached out to touch gently on his shoulder, before I moved it to rub small circles on the back of his shoulder blade. he stopped in his tracks, his eyes glued to his hands resting on the table. "i'm sorry, I think this was a mistake" he stood up quickly, grabbing his bag and turning to exit the pub, leaving his half-finished drink, and me, behind.

i sat shocked for a second, before grabbing my own bag and running after him. "ollie!? wait!" I called after him down the street, but he was walking so briskly that I struggled to catch up. I continued calling his name and apologising, but he wasn't stopping, until he eventually came to a halt outside of a block of apartments, and began rummaging around inside his bag. I guessed he was looking for his keys.

"ollie, please" I said breathlessly as I finally reached his side, just as he was unlocking the front door. "please, just look at me." he huffed and let go of the keys, leaving them stuck in the door, before he turned dramatically to look at me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I said, upsetting myself that I had ruined this evening before it had even really started. he sighed again and looked down, "you didn't." he spoke so quietly that I could barely hear him, but I had, and I was confused. "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to... you know" he continued looking down, but I stayed quiet in hopes of him carrying on. "I'm not used to people comforting me."

my heart almost broke as I continued looking at him, before cautiously raising my hand to reach out to him. my fingertips trembled as they touched his sleeved forearm just below his elbow. I was so nervous, I didn't want him to pull away from me again. he didn't move but continued staring at his feet, so I slowly shuffled closer to him, our chests almost touching. I looked up at him, managing to catch his eyes with my own. Eventhough ollie wasn't the tallest man, he still towered over me, so having to crane my neck to stare into his eyes was a type of intimacy that I hadn't experienced in a long time.

"what are you doing?" he barely whispered, his voice so small that even I almost didn't hear him. my left hand still laid on his forearm, I hesitantly moved to place my right hand up on his shoulder. the small amount of alcohol in my system must have boosted my confidence. "is this okay?" i whispered back at him, and all he did was nod very slightly, our faces now as close as they were back in the rehearsal hall this afternoon. "I will always comfort you, ollie" I whispered, wanting to use this opportunity to let him know he was safe with me.

i almost jumped out of my skin when a gentle hand placed on my waist, butterflies erupting in my stomach. my heart was hammering as we continued looking at eachother, and I wondered if he was ever going to kiss me. I nudged my head forward in hopes of him understanding, and it was only when our noses physically brushed against each other, that he sealed the very small gap between us. my eyes fluttered closed in euphoria, electric sparks shining internally. his lips were so soft on mine, and it was over all too quickly as he gently broke the kiss, but kept his forehead rested on mine.

eventhough we were almost completely engulfed by darkness, despite the light that was shining from inside his building, I could see something different glimmering in his eyes. without thinking, I moved both of my arms to wrap around his neck, and I pressed a firmer kiss against his lips, my hand resting on the back of his head. as the kiss deepened, his hands rubbed up and down the sides of my body, causing me to release a small moan.

to my dismay, he pulled away again, causing me to groan at the loss of contact. "why are you doing this, y/n?" he seemed sad. I stared at him in disbelief for a second.

"because I feel sorry for you, ollie." I joked sarcastically, but the look on his face said differently. "woah, I'm kidding!" I chuckled, "i'm just kidding" I repeated, reaching out to hold his hand, a serious expression on my face.

"I'm doing this because... well, I really like you." I hoped he now doesn't think this is also a joke. "I've tried to make that obvious since the moment I met you."

His eyes lit up, but he still looked unsure. "really?... I think I like you too" he went back to barely whispering, and I struggled to get over just how cute he was.

---

I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but I ended up in his bed. he currently lay sleeping against me, his head rested on my naked chest, with my fingers running through his gorgeous locks.

we had a long, quiet discussion after the deed, and he did begin to crack and let me in, even if it was only a little bit. he told me that he couldn't quite believe that I actually liked him, because he felt he didn't deserve it. he told me he was terrified of being hurt. he told me he never wanted to trust anyone again, for the fear of losing it.

I promised that would never happen with me, but now I just have to prove it to him.

[murderedbyhomework]

Why you should read modu/silent reading

An unhinged essay by me

1.It's by priest

Like okay maybe I'm biased but priest really just is an amazing author, and she can write complex charscters and intriguing romances so well.

2.There is an official English translation online for free

E. Danglar's translations has translated the entirety of the novel, and it's available for free on his website, and the link is on the Silent Reading carrd website. Speaking as someone who's fluent in both Chinese and English, he did an amazing job translating and managed to carry over a lot of the subtle meanings and undercurrents. He also has notes at the bottom explaining some cultural references. I think the Chinese novel is also available to read online free.

3.Realistic portrayal of trauma

The novel is a detective novel first and a BL second, and priest honestly ties together all the threads really well. There are 5 main cases, and all of them are extremely well written, with an underlying theme of trauma and surviving it. One thing I love about the novel is that it shows how trauma isn't pretty, and different people deal with it in different ways, which brings me to my next point.

4.Fei Du

The main character is a police officer called Luo Wenzhou, who first meets his future love interest Fei Du during the first murder case he's in charge of. Fei Du's mom had died by apparent suicide, but Fei Du was convinced that it was his father who killed her. Her death is eventually ruled as a suicide, but Luo Wenzhou never forgets Fei Du's conviction and determination.

Honestly Fei Du is just so fun. We very rarely get parts of the novel from his point of view, but any and all of those parts are devastating. In a way, he's kind of Wen Kexing coded. He's a gremlin, he's a cheeky arsehole, and you can tell that he's traumatized, there's something deeply and extremely wrong with him, but at first you don't know what exactly is his damage and you just fixate on him so hard.

5.It is a slow burn ppl

Given that Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du meet at 21-22 and 14 respectively, the romance is slow. It takes ages for them to even kiss, but honestly I like that decision because you get such fleshed out characters and plotlines and cases before the romance even starts. Luo Wenzhou and his police partner Tao Ran (my beautiful token straight puppy) get attached to Fei Du even after the case of his mom closes, and because they're concerned about his mental state after his mom's death, they take it upon themselves to babysit him a little and essentially give him a safe place. Fei Du actually prefered Tao Ran over Luo Wenzhou, who he constantly butted heads with, and the feeling was low key mutual. Then Fei Du leaves for uni, and around 3 years later they meet again and Luo Wenzhou realizes ah shit we both have a crush on Tao Ran, who is literally said to be "as straight as Sun Wukong's staff". That's when they realise they can't go for their straight crush and instead have to go for the gay rival.

Honestly though Modu/Silent reading is genuinely so good and underappreciated.

So like, please read the novel, 隨我入坑(深淵), 一起成為淵種(淵魂)唄.