#i really thought it'd be a sad ending i'm so SO RELIEVED NOW

[d8nielaa]

please could i request a sky lakota-lynch fic! please just any type of fluff, maybe going on a date then ending up in bed cuddling? tysm🩷

Authors Note: Absolutely! I love sky so so muchh.

Date Night: Sky Lakota-Lynch

"y/n/n" - your nick name

It was Saturday, and Sky was home. Which was rare for a broadway actor but he had requested the day off work today to just rest. So, I decided to surprise him. With a date. We haven't gone on one in a while and with the musical finally getting the recognition it deserves, I thought it'd be nice to celebrate and also relax a little bit. Sky was currently sitting on the couch of our apartment. For the first time in a while, everything felt peaceful. Despite living in the bustling city of New York, it felt oddly calm. It's still warm outside, so I thought we could go take a walk in the park, maybe get coffee and whatever else we find. It's not the best date I came up with, but it works. I walked over to where Sky was sitting, and got ready to ask him. I was nervous, I don't know why.

"Hey Sky?"

"Hiiii y/n/n, what's up?"

"Well, I know you've been super busy with the show and everything and this is like your only day off for a while... I was wondering if you wanted to..go on a date? You don't have to say yes of course cause I know your so tired and everything and you-you work so hard so I can't blame you and I know being on broadway is really draining-"

I began to ramble, something that I did when I was nervous. I don't know why, but I kind of felt bad for asking Sky if he wanted to go out on his only day off. I continued rambling until Sky cut me off.

"y/n/n stop, take a breath." Sky said, standing up from the couch and walking over to me. I nodded my head, taking a deep breath just like he said.

"Yes, I'll go on a date with you." He replied with a soft smile, which caused a soft blush to rush to my cheeks.

"Okay, okay!" I replied, now excited and relieved that he said yes. We quickly got ready and made our way out the door, hand in hand like always.

After about 20 minutes of walking, we made it to our favorite coffee shop. Sky ordered for me like always as I stood behind like always. We sat down at a table and started talking.

"It's been forever since we went out." Sky said, a soft smile on his face as he reached his hand across the table and placed it on mine.

"I know, I miss doin' stuff like this with you. I miss you." I said, giving him the same smile in return as I squeezed his hand.

"I know, I miss you to. I'm sorry, I wish I could do more." Sky said, now feeling bad for not being able to take me out as much as he wanted to.

"Hey hey, stop. None of that. Its not your fault Sky, I know your a busy person. Your job is important, but it's also draining. So I wouldn't mind if you wanted to just rest." I replied, immediately stoping him from beating himself up over it. Sky gave me sad smile, and I leaned over to give him a kiss on his forehead.

"It's okay, you have nothing to be sorry for. Besides, I love watching you sing."

Soon enough, our orders were done and we left for the park. Once we got to the park, we sat on the bench and talked for what seemed like hours. We laughed, we smiled. We made each other feel loved. Once the sun began to set, we made our way home. Once we were home, I kicked off my shoes and took off my shoes, before laying down in our shared bed, feeling tired already. Maybe a nap would do. Sky followed suit and soon plopped on the bed next to me. He pressed himself against me and wrapped his arms around me, spooning me like he did almost every night. I felt his lips press soft, chaste kisses on my neck. I sighed in peace as I let his love and the warmth of his body take over me.

"I love you," Sky whispered, still kissing my neck.

"I love you more Sky." I replied, a soft smile creeping it's way onto my face.

"Not possible." He whispered back, causing a soft laugh to escape from my lips before we calmed down and soon enough fell asleep.

Authors Note: Yayyyy! My first fic ever!! Sorry if this isn't very good, I'm still getting used to writing but hopefully as I start to write more I'll get the hang of things. I hope you enjoy, sorry that it's short!

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

Dawntrail Part 25 (Finale)

something something if you die in the game you die in real life

welp. Nothing left to it, right?

oh, it really is Disneyland.

man. Between this, Amaurot, and the Dead Ends, the devs REALLY know how to make these final dungeons as impactful as possible. The look on my face when I lapped through the town the second time and it was a war zone.

for the whole world to be annihilated in lightning, losing everything outside the barrier... no wonder the alexandrians didn't handle the grief very well.

too bad they've made it everyone's problem on a multiversal level.

Okay that is WAY better of a design than the Shapely Woman But Freaky that I was kinda expecting

... also is it just me or does the final trial boss' voice sound like the last boss of eden.

ohhh azem stone pretty

"oh you think youre the only one with the interdimensional powers? lol. Get azem'd"

hey what's with that weirdly azem-like solar system on top of The Cup

ah well. can focus on that later. time for the finale.

all this for a people we've just got done getting rid of. It'd be funny if it weren't so sad.

Oh? What's this?

WUK LAMAT WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

GO KITTY GO!

GORGEOUS phase two backdrop.

... Feeling that Legatus Down comic rn. I'll leave you two to your heartfelt moment i'm just relieved that this woman will cause me indigestion no longer.

without context this looks like the aftermath of girls' (plus graha) night in Las Vegas

and that's the ending!

oh? sequel hook?

wait what about the soul cell resurrections. that seems like something big that would change without a steady supply of life force. do animals work for resurrections?

NOO HIS TACO. TAKEN FROM HIM IN HIS MOMENT OF VICTORY.

(Estinien Voice) for the love of GOD, boy. PLEASE help me.

of all things. the decision to put Gulool Ja Ja's voice credits over the carving of his successors is getting to me. He still lives on through them indeed.

ohhhh beautiful city. I love you tuliyollal.

awww childhood photos. Zoraal ja is getting smote by his dad but that's just how Gulool Ja Ja bonds

and one last BABY LIZARD ADOPTION

hey what the fuck does that mean

And that’s the end! There’s a bit afterwards with the Arcadion opening but Image Limit.

I’ll be posting a Postscript with my thoughts, eventually, but for now? I’ll just leave it at this: It might be a bit rough around the edges, but I think the next arc of the msq is in good hands!

[aikoiya]

Curse Shoulder Spirits AU: What if whenever the Cursed Monsters fall asleep, they sometimes see the memories of their own Spirit, when he/she was still alive… Including when Monster Criminals get away with hurting other Monsters, because they are not human aka not the ‘true enemy’… How would Undyne + Alphys + Sans + Gerson + Doggo + Asgore all feel about seeing that their Race and Kingdom isn’t as ‘perfect’ as they think it is? 💔💔💔

Oooo... Now, I like that. It also isn't done intentionally.

Perhaps as time progresses, they also begin to feel what they felt emotionally at the time & even later, a couple of their thoughts?

Well, Sans & Undyne might initially think they were lying, but they could absolutely find evidence in the real world. The problem comes with whether or not they'd accept it.

Though, I think that Sans would get the brunt of it considering Justin actively went out & searched for it. Like, maybe the others saw a couple here & there, but Justin would've seen those sorts of things near everyday, multiple times a day. He also actively investigated those individuals' guilt.

As such, Alphys, Undyne, Gerson, Doggo, & Asgore wouldn't see it as much or as flagrantly as Sans would. Though, I do think that for most besides Undyne, just those couple would be enough to show them that monsters weren't as spotless as they thought.

Though, I can't help but think that Gerson & Asgore would've already had an inkling of this & it might just end up being a sad confirmation for them.

Alphys, though? I think that she'd feel surprisingly... relieved? Because it'd be proof that she wasn't the only monster who does rotten things. Like, yeah, she'd feel sad, but it might actually make her feel less guilty. Which isn't a good thing. But that's just me.

Another issue is that I don't remember much of Doggo's character, so I'm not really sure how he'd react.

I do think that since Toriel is being haunted by them, just to a lesser degree, then she might get small flashes of their memories.

[taeminie]

have you ever got yourself stuck in a moment? no matter how long, you still can't get out of it. today, i'm going to tell you the story of me and him.

7 PROJECT (2021) EP 3: ONCE UPON A TIME

[ichinisankaku]

Backstage Translation - Triangle of Happiness (Part 3)

Misumi: Si~gh.

Izumi: Hup. Pardon the intrusion.

Misumi: Director-san? And everyone else, too...

Kazunari: Good job at work today, Sumi.

Muku: Aren't you hungry?

Misumi: Onigiri!

Tenma: We don't know what happened, but you'll be unnecessarily sad if you're hungry.

Yuki: It's unusual for you to feel down, Misumi.

Kumon: Let's all eat onigiri together!

Misumi: ...Thank you.

Izumi: ...Misumi-kun, did something happen at work earlier?

Misumi: Actually...

Misumi: Thanks for waiting, can the next customers-

Female Customer B: Hey, I've been the only one looking at anything all day. A wedding is for two people, you know?

Male Customer B: I have been looking properly. But...

Misumi: ...?

Kiryu: Okay, please line up over here so I can take your photos.

Female Customer B: You don't actually have any interest in the bridal fair, do you?

Male Customer B: That's not it.

Misumi: Ah, aaah... uuum...

Kiryu: Hey, aren't your expressions a bit stiff? Please give me a smile~

Female Customer B: ...

Male Customer B: ...

*click*

Misumi: I thought I was good at making people smile, but, I wasn't able to do anything...

Izumi: I see...

Muku: But it sounds like it was a big issue for those two, so other people can't really interject.

Tenma: Right. There was nothing to be done.

Misumi: Maybe, but...

Izumi: You're good at making other people smile, Misumi, but isn't the basis of that the fact that you like seeing everyone's smiles?

Look, you said the reason you like your circus job is because you fill the audience with smiles, and it's a place with lots of triangles, didn't you?

That's why I'm sure you'll be able to think of how to deal with it in your own way.

Kazunari: I think so too.

Kumon: You'll definitely do great next time!

Misumi: ...Yeah. I'll do my best next time!

Tenma: But don't give them Sankaku-kuns, okay.

Yuki: The Trianglian's definitely going to do that.

Misumi: I think it'd make everyone happy~

I know! Director-san, show me the photos from the wedding you went to before!

Izumi: Sure thing. It'll probably make good reference, right? Here's a picture the bride and groom took with all our friends...

Muku: Waah, the bride is so pretty!

Kumon: Everyone's smiling and looks happy!

Misumi: Ah! This triangle-

Izumi: (I've come to check since I'm worried, but I wonder if Misumi's doing alright today?)

(Ah, looks like they're in the middle of a shoot with a family of two parents and a small girl.)

Girl: Noo! I don't wannaaaa!

Izumi: (The girl seems to be complaining, I wonder if it'll be alright...)

Misumi: Okay, I'll lend you a super valuable triangle.

Girl: A super valuable triangle?

Misumi: Yep, here you go.

Girl: A flag...?

Izumi: (That's one of the wedding flags everyone made after seeing them in my photo yesterday.)

Misumi: This is a triangle of happiness! It'll bring you happiness if you wave it~

Girl: Really?

Misumi: Yeah!

Girl: Yaay! Thank you!

Misumi: Yeah, that's a good smile!

Izumi: (...The shooting ended without issue. Thank goodness.)

(What a relief, I should head home now.)

Misumi: Director-san?

Izumi: (Ah, he saw me...)

Option 1: I'm glad it seems to be going well!

Izumi: I'm glad it seems to be going well!

Misumi: Yeah! It's all thanks to you and the others!

This morning there was another couple arguing like yesterday, but I managed to make them smile with these~

These really are triangles of happiness~!

Izumi: Fufu, I see.

Option 2: Those three had nice smiles

Izumi: Those three had nice smiles.

Misumi: I was relieved to see them~

Izumi: Yeah. It made me happy to see, too.

Misumi: I'm glad we made these wedding flags!

Izumi: I'm sure the rest of Summer Troupe will be glad if you tell them.

Mizumi: Yeah! I'll report to them when I go home!

Izumi: Anyway, I just came to check how you were doing, so I'll be going home now.

Misumi: Let's take a picture since you're here!

Izumi: Eeh? But I haven't made a reservation for it, so...

Kiryu: You're the director of Fushimi-kun and Ikaruga-kun's theatre troupe, aren't you?

I'm the cameraman, Kiryu. Having Ikaruga helping this time has been a big help

I'm grateful to both of them, so I'd love to take your photo, if it's alright.

Izumi: Are you sure?

Kiryu: Of course.

Izumi: Well, if you insist...

Kiryu: I may as well take your photo with Ikaruga-kun too, take a seat on that sofa.

Misumi: Okaaa~y!

Izumi: (...Uwah, the set is so authentic, being in front of a professional camera has me all tense...)

Mizumi: Here, Director-san.

Izumi: Eh?

Misumi: A triangle of happiness! You'll be fine if you go "swish swish~" with it!

Izumi: ...Fufu, thank you.

(A triangle of happiness, huh... That's more than just what he's calling this flag-)

Kiryu: Okay, I'm about to take it~ 3, 2, 1-

Misumi: Triangle~!

*click*

Part 1 | Part 2

[cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc]

One more time

Summary: Alex regrets ever saying yes. All he wants is a second chance.

Trigger warning: Mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, swearing, angst

Author's note: my first piece off hiatus !! - you're a twitch streamer in this fic but it won't come up too much :) hope u like it <3

Based on: Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS

you sigh. your ex-boyfriend called again. you've been ignoring your phone for 5 minutes now. was he really this desperate?

you pick up your phone and slide the green button.

"what do you want, alex?"

"___, you picked up!"

he sounded extremely relieved, like he needs you to breathe.

"i did, now what do you want?"

alex sighed and leaned on a wall in his bedroom.

"can i come over? there's some stuff i still need to pick up."

you suck in a breath sharply. the air is thick and tense.

"no."

you clench the phone you were holding and bit your lip.

"i don't want to see you right now."

alex closed his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.

"i understand, you need time."

there was silence for a moment. neither of you wanted to say anything.

"if you want to come over that bad you can get your things tomorrow morning."

"sounds good. i'll be there around 11, okay?"

"fine."

"good-"

you ended the call.

"-bye..."

alex let his arm drop beside him. his eyes were watering, but he wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie.

it's his fault, he knew. but why is he still so upset? he shouldn't feel like this - it's is his own doing, after all.

~

you open the door to your home. alex was standing on the porch with a few empty bags in hand. the morning sun blinded you slightly, making you squint at the man in front of you.

"hi ___."

"hello, alex. all your belongings are on the couch.

"great, thank you."

~

he looks over as he's folding a shirt.

"what are you looking at?"

you say without looking away from your laptop.

his face was getting red slightly from embarrassment.

"nothing, you seem busy."

alex directed his eyes back to the clothes in front of him.

"otherwise you would've said something about me."

alex snickered slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

you sigh, holding your face in one of your hands.

don't say it. ___, keep it in. there's no point in fighting him. ___-

"if i wanted to make a comment it'd be about the fact you can't keep your dick in your pants."

god damn it, why did you do that?

he fell quiet. you hated his guts, but even you felt kind of bad for being so blunt with it.

a part of you still loved him. his loud, yet charming laugh. his sweet kisses. his adorable clinginess. his blushing face when you teased him.

you shake your head, trying to physically get rid of your pity for him. he doesn't love you anymore. he shouldn't, and neither should you.

~

after filling the bags with alex's belongings he stood up and wiped his forehead. you waver from your work and look him up and down.

"you done?"

you asked him. he turned around and gave you a weak smile.

"yeah, i think so."

"good, you know the way out."

you turn back to your computer.

"___, wait. can i ask you something?"

you make eye contact with him, fully aware it makes him nervous.

"what do you want?"

alex took a quick breath.

"can we talk sometime?"

you look at him like he spoke an alien tongue.

"why the hell would i?"

"i want to talk about what happened between us. i hate that our relationship is so sour."

he set a step forward.

"i just want this to end peaceful - or at least neutral."

"why the fuck would i want to be peaceful with you of all people?"

"i hate ending things on the wrong foot, you know that."

alex stands his ground, making you livid.

"then we make up, and then what? you'll just break my heart again!"

you stand up, simultaneously pushing the chair away with your legs.

"then i can lay awake and think about why i even let you inside my house again in the first place?!"

if looks could kill, alex would be on the floor.

"fine. if you don't want to, then i guess everything will just stay the way it is."

alex turned around and grabbed his bags. there's no way he's getting through to you right now.

"oh, so now it's my fault?"

you slam your laptop and walk away from the table.

"well, i'm so sorry for being angry at you for cheating on me!"

you don't hold your anger in anymore, he crossed the line.

"i never said that, ___!"

alex yelled to match your energy.

you took a step back. the audacity to yell at you in your house.

"out. now."

alex grabbed the second bag of clothes and without a word walked to the front door.

"goodbye, ___."

alex pushes the door open and steps outside. you go after him but stop at the doorstep.

"fuck you!" you sob out. you grab the doorknob and slam the door shut.

your knees slowly got weaker and you sit against the front door, shutting your eyes.

~

it's been a month since you've seen alex. you've blocked him on everything since then.

you were doing a q&a on your twitch channel and everything was going well. chat was filled with questions and you answered the one's you could.

your thoughts were somewhere else, though.

you still miss him, you really did. alex used to watch your streams all the time. he sent you donations with cheesy pick-up lines, he called you during streams to make fun of you for dying in a game or just to chat while he's bored.

but that didn't happen anymore.

you realize you haven't said anything in a while and you apologize. your chat was spamming purple hearts and 'are you okay?'

"ah, sorry everyone, i'm still tired from yesterday. i think i'm going to end the stream for today, thank you all for coming!"

after saying goodbye you turn off your computer.

why are you still so obsessed over him?! he cheated on you! he even tried to cover it up with a bullshit story about "not being the first to kiss her," and "she forced me to," like someone would believe a lie like that.

yet, you still love him. something inside you wants to believe him, like he really was telling the truth.

~

the next morning you open twitter and scroll for a bit. you made a tweet earlier in which you stated you weren't going to stream today.

you looked at the trending topics and saw your name in bold letters. you clicked on it and read the first tweet that popped up.

'i really hope ___ is doing better, they looked so sad on stream :('

an image was attached to it - a screenshot from the stream you did yesterday where you were mindlessly staring at your computer screen.

you sighed. at least they're not thinking too deep about this.

you scroll further down, replying and liking a couple tweets saying you were alright, thanking them or cracking a joke. this should keep them off your back for a while.

after scrolling for a bit one tweet catches your eye. you clutch your phone as you read the comment.

'kinda obvious they miss quackity :/ it's a good cover-up story tho '

~

alex was staring at his ceiling. he'd seen the tweets about you - about him.

he hates this feeling. he hates the fact that he knows what you're thinking. he hates that he knows it's his fault. he didn't mean to. he didn't.

"come on, alex. you know you want it." the woman said.

"i told you, no! i have a partner!" alex pushed her away for the second time, trying to find a way past the girl and out of this small alleyway. he should've never gone to this stupid bar.

"tch, whatever. but know you'll regret rejecting someone like me!" the girl pushed him to the brick wall and fixed her dress as she walked away.

alex fixed himself for a minute and walked past the bar and into his car. he pulled out his phone and shot you a quick text.

'hey bb i'll be over in a few :)'

'don't come back.'

you responded almost immediately. alex froze as he looked at the screen.

'wdym?'

'you know damn well why'

you sent him a photo of him next to the bar in the alley. the girl was all over him while her lips connected lustfully to his.

'it isn't what it looks like, i didn't start any of this!'

you don't respond. alex tries to send you another text when an error pops up.

'unable to send message. user has blocked you.'

~

you hover your hand over your phone's keyboard. you thought anbout alex's offer to talk, and decided that maybe it was a good idea after all. you couldn't get your mind off him, you thought that hopefully getting some closure could help.

but how were you going to ask him? 'hey, i know i blocked number like a month ago but can you to meet me at some random park? see you there!'

after typing and deleting multiple texts you eventually landed on a message.

'hey alex, i've been thinking about your offer to talk it out, and i wanted to ask if you're still up for it?'

you send it and immediately turn off your phone and place it on the coffeetable in front of you. you did it, finally. you fall back on your couch and pull your knees up to your face, waiting for a notification.

after a nailbiting five minutes a light emits from your phone. you pick it up and read the name calling you. 'alex'. you take a deep breath and answer the phone.

"hi alex."

"hey ___, it's been a while."

you sit up straight, preparing yourself for the conversation you're about to have.

'yeah, you can say that."

the atmosphere was a lot less tense than you expected. it was weirdly... comforting? you can hear alex's raspy voice through the phone. has he been crying?

"i saw your text, you wanted to meet?"

"yes, i did. i wanted to get some closure, at least."

alex chuckled, his laugh making you a little flustered. trying to brush it off, you laugh with him.

"what's so funny?" alex asked.

you rolled your eyes and smile.

"you, dumbass."

he gasps cartoonishly loud. his goofy personality is something you could never get enough of. maybe you were wrong after all.

"ok, but seriously, when do you want to meet?"

he gets back on topic. you snap out of your smile and remember why he called in the first place.

"right, right. i'm free this whole week, you can choose when."

after some planning and back and forth, you decide to meet at a small family-run café in the afternoon. coincidentally, it's the same place you two had your first date.

~

you settle down at a table on the terrace of the café, the sunday sun greeting you warmly. you were a little early, so you decided to think of some questions. it didn't take you long to come to a few, though. your main question was the photo. what was that all about?

as you were handed a menu you saw alex walking on the pavement fidgeting with his fingers.

"hey! sorry if i'm late, i took the bus instead of my car."

he took the seat parallel to yours and exhaled.

"oh no, you're right on time. i was just a little early."

the waitress gave alex a menu and disappeared into the establishment. you both decided to stay quiet before getting on topic. neither of you want to start the conversation.

after both ordering and having surface level conversation for a while silence fell. you both know why you're here, it feels off to talk like nothing ever happened.

"okay-"

"so-"

you both start at the same time. alex awkwardly chuckles while covering his mouth.

"you first."

alex proposes. you nod and like magic lose the somewhat content mood you had prior. you steadily breathe in and pull out your phone.

"so, first things first; my main goal is to get closure and an explanation - there's no point in lying to me."

alex hums in agreement. you could tell he was nervous, you knew him better than anyone. you tap on your screen a few times until you reach the photo that was sent to you.

"now, i want a clear answer. what happened that night?"

you ask him firmly as you put your phone on the table to reveal the image.

"that's my ex-girlfriend."

alex said. you raise an eyebrow - his ex? you've heard some wild things about her and her antics, which is exactly why alex broke up with her in the first place.

"she said she wanted to ask me something in private. my dumbass said yes, because i can't pick up on context clues, apparently."

you cross your arms and lean back on the chair.

"you got that right."

alex looks up from the photo and makes eye contact with you.

"long story short, she pushed me to the wall and kissed me. i tried to push her off but she didn't let me go. after shoving her, like, twice she finally got the hint and left."

~

"so she set you up?"

"she hasn't changed a bit since all those years."

you say with a hint of condescension. his explanation made sense, and from what you heard he wasn't lying. your gut told you to believe him, yet your mind had an itching feeling that there was something else.

"are you sure that's all?"

alex flinched slightly.

"y-yes, ___. i don't know what else to tell you."

you mess with your hair a bit, clearly conflicted. there was nothing else, you knew that. but your brain wouldn't let it go. you decided it's better if you just sleep on it.

"alright, then.-"

you grab your bag and stand up.

"-i think we're done here."

alex stays seated and looks up at you.

"yeah, i think so."

you pick the phone up that's laying on the table. you pull out your wallet and put a $5 bill under your teacup.

"goodbye, alex."

"wait!"

alex stands up and grabs your wrist, the gesture scaring you little bit.

"are you still mad at me?"

those eyes. they're so pretty, almost sparlking. you snap out of it when he lets go, just realizing how weird it is to grab someone's arm out of nowhere.

"sorry, my bad. i wasn't thinking."

alex scratches the back of his neck.

"i'm still deciding if i can trust you, but i appreciate you showing up, at least."

"that's enough for me."

alex smile at you, not trying to pry.

"goodbye, ___."

"goodbye, alex."

~

you heard the chirping of the birds outside your window and groan. why is it already morning? you sit up and grab your phone from the nightstand next to your bed, the phone reading 11:23 - tuesday - xx-xx-xxxx.

you sigh and fall back onto your bed. you've been thinking about alex for a few days now, still not getting him out of your head.

after going downstairs and eating some toast you pull out your phone again, the clock now reading 12:44. you look through your contacts and eventually land on his name.

you hover your hand over the green pixels while sitting down at the dining table. you swallow audibly and click the call button.

it goes once.

it goes twice.

"___?"

'Hey alex, i wanted to ask you if you wanted to meet up again?"

ty for reading <3

m.list

taglist: @adoring-ghost @sakisaralazy @for-memories-sacrifice @ialexabsuniverse @shiyanchan @bioluminescentfrog @esylwen

reblogs >> likes !

[lunarflux]

han jisung x reader / femme o/c

genre — fluff

cafe!au pt 2

suggested background music: x

9:59pm

Like clockwork, Jisung switched off the lights to The Rose Room. The quaint little cafe he owned with a friend seemed to have the most solemn atmosphere just before closing, and tonight was no exception. The red glow from the streetlights danced along the freshly polished floor like a night light. It was time to lock up and head home.

Jisung polished off the last of his coffee, forever regretting how much caffeine he continuously consumed just before he had to sleep. All the part-timers had gone home for the night, and the only company left in his coffee house was the sound of flickering lights and a symphony of car horns from down the road.

10:05pm

Jisung had his key in the door, but in his head, he was counting down.

Ten seconds.

With a deep breath, he heard the gears click together, and right on time, there she was.

Hyacinth & Holly - that was the name of the flower shop across the way. Jisung had his routine locked down that by the time the doors had shut, you were about to walk out.

Always carrying a fresh bouquet of blue hydrangeas, there you were. Locking up your own little kingdom of hues and aromas, you turned and gave him a small wave.

This was the routine that Jisung always looked forward to at the end of the day - seeing you even if for a moment. You both always walked in opposite directions, but that simple five seconds of eye contact were enough to make him forget his fatigue.

One day, he'll talk to you.

One day.

But this is not that day.

Jisung turned his heel, knowing you'd easily turn yours away from him. The walk back to his apartment was always quiet, but lately, it was even more solemn.

Hyunjin, your last-minute roommate had moved out last week to live with his girlfriend. It was just one less person he interacted with during the day, and it was only then that he realized, he didn't really talk to that many people.

In his head, he would imagine you walking through the doors of the Rose Room.

Strawberry latte? Iced rose tea? - He would guess your favorite drinks in the hopes that one day, you'd walk in, and he could surprise you.

Hyunjin used to tease him.

"Just go over there on your break. You're never gonna know her name unless you just talk to her."

Jisung scoffed at the thought of that conversation, remembering how it took over a month for Hyunjin to confess his own feelings. Then again, the flower shop opened up a few months ago, and still he hasn't spoken to you.

One day.

**

Jisung walked into the Rose Room at 2:00pm.

An unfamiliar vase with two massive sunflowers sat on the bar top.

"What's this?" He picked up one of the yellow stalks and prodded it with a small smile on his face.

Jeongin continued to work on his Americano. "The girl from the shop across the street dropped it off this morning. She said someone canceled their order, and she'd already clipped the stems so it'd be a waste not to put them out."

Jisung felt the lump in his throat expand. She had been in here.

"I was gonna bring her a drink to say thanks, but I didn't ask what she liked." Jeongin slipped off his apron. "I figured an Americano would be okay -"

"I'll do it." Jisung interrupted. "But give that to the next customer, I'll make something."

**

Carrying a small plastic lunch bag, Jisung steadied himself. The strawberries in the sandwich he made had to stay pristine. Paired with the rose tea, he made his way over to the storefront, ready to be either rejected or welcomed.

"Hello!" A part-timer greeted, the name 'Yeji' scribbled on her name tag. "Can I help you?"

"Um -" The familiar lump in his throat was back. "Th-The girl who brought the sunflowers. Is she here?"

Yeji tilted her head, looking over to the sunflowers behind Jisung, not realizing the amount had been altered. "That might have been my boss? But she isn't here."

"Oh." Jisung was almost relieved.

"Is that for her?" Yeji motioned towards the lunch bag.

"No - I mean, yes, but -"

"She'll be back later. She only came in to help prepare an order, but she closes usually." Yeji said with a smile. "Do you want me to leave that in the back -"

"No!" Jisung nearly screamed. "I mean, no, no, I'll come back. If... that's okay?"

The surprised girl nodded quietly.

**

9:48pm

The strawberries in the sandwich got soggy and the rose tea watered down. Jisung slumped his head over the counter, still cringing from today's interaction with the girl who very well knows his crush and could easily ruin his chances.

Why am I so awkward?

Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward, peering out into the street. He didn't know if you were there. He didn't even know if he could muster up the same courage to go back.

Jisung reached for the door, tempted to just run over if only to catch you before you closed up, but before he could, you emerged.

Holding his breath, he watched as you walked outside - but not alone.

You were with someone. A guy. He patted your head, and you smiled back.

Jisung's grip on the door handle pushed the blood from his knuckles. It was too good to be true. He waited too long.

And just like that, he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He didn't even know you, yet he already felt that familiar pang of sadness and disappointment. It wasn't as if he was craving a relationship, and perhaps, he had built you up too much in his head. He didn't know your name or your favorite color. He didn't know the music you liked to listen to on your way to work or the sound of your laugh. He really didn't know anything, and seeing this solidified that thought.

You were a stranger after all.

**

Hyunjin and his girlfriend, the day manager left together today, but not before trying to talk Jisung out of his mood.

"You know that might not be her boyfriend," she shook her head. "Don't jump to conclusions."

"What other guy would meet up with her that late at night?" Hyunjin rolled his eyes. "If you were the closing manager, you know I'd show up to walk you home."

Jisung cringed, seeing the couple exchange loving glances.

"We're just saying not to give up. You can't wait forever."

They weren't wrong. It seemed better to try now and get rejected than to wait and wonder.

**

9:59pm

It seemed automatic now. The counting. Only now, he didn't really know what he was counting down to.

Jisung heaved a heavy sigh as he inserted his key.

9

8

7

"Are you closed?"

5

Wait.

Jisung nearly stumbled down from the small ledge of the door.

There you were. Apron and purse in one hand a fresh bouquet of blue hydrangeas in the other.

"Yeah, we closed -" He cleared his throat. "We closed - I mean, we close at 9:30."

"Oh." You almost looked upset. "I'm sorry, I'm just so used to seeing you leave after ten, so I wasn't sure. I always wake up too late to come here before my shift, and you guys are always so busy.

Jisung put his key back in the lock without thinking. Opening the door, he held his breath.

"I can make you something."

**

You swung your legs under the seat. Jisung quietly steeped the same kind of rose tea he wanted to give to you before. Glancing over, he could see one of the last strawberry sandwiches of the day as if it had been waiting for him to reenter.

"Do you always work late?"

He heard your small voice over the counter. Walking up, you joined him so that the only thing between you was marble. Jisung nodded, setting the glass of tea and sandwich in front of you.

"Yeji told me you stopped by yesterday. I'm sorry, I missed you."

"It's fine." He could feel the cold sweat on the back of his neck. "I would have brought it later, but your boyfriend was there."

"Ex."

"Ex?"

"Ex." You smiled, quietly sipping your tea with a blissful sigh he'd never seen before. "Dropping off my spare work key. I'd forgotten it when I moved out last month."

Ex. Her ex boyfriend. Of course.

"Why did you break up?"

Picking at the edges of the sandwich, you shrugged. "You know how it is. Working adults not working the same schedule. I like working the night shifts. I like closing the store. And he hated how many hydrangeas I brought home. Said it made the apartment smell too much."

"I think they're pretty. The blue ones."

As if you'd forgotten the color already, you giggled. "They're my favorite."

"Mine, too." Jisung could feel the air lessen.

"I can bring you some tomorrow if you'd like."

"That'd be nice." He smiled, genuinely for the first time in what seemed like a long time. "If you want, I could -" He caught himself.

You nodded towards him, midway through your sandwich.

Punching his leg, Jisung quietly scolded himself. "If you want... I could walk you to work. I'd like to see you - the flowers, I mean, and everything tomorrow. Y'know. Before it gets dark."

"You'd wake up early for flowers?"

"W-Well, yes, and I need to wake up earlier anyway - I drink too much caffeine at work, and I need to stop sleeping so late, and -"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'd like that," you beamed.

Jisung almost choked. "I'm sorry, it's just. Well. I don't even know your name."

"y/n." You poked his cheek. "All you had to do was ask."

[lightstar789]

My Final Thoughts on My Deepest Secret

SPOILER WARNING FOR SEASON 3!

Well folks. We did it, we've reached the end, and I couldn't be anymore sadder.

I first discovered MDS when the season 2 finale banner went up. I clicked on it, expecting a melodramatic love triangle. However, when I clicked on episode 69 (bad move, I know now) I was shocked to see the black-haired boy, whom I thought was the second-lead, on the ground with a bloody arm, calling out Emma for committing a series of gruesome events. Emma, the innocent-looking protagonist suddenly threatening him with a knife? I couldn't believe it. And so I started reading.

Fast-forward nearly a year later, and it's time to bid farewell to this magnificent WEBTOON. So, I wanted to write my final thoughts on each of the characters, and the plot itself. Obvious spoilers ahead, so let's jump right into it!

THE PLOT:

My Deepest Secret drowns in twists, each one making the story more convoluted as I continued reading. Emma going from bubbly, with a mysterious past, to a broken young woman who just wants those around her to stop worrying about her and be happy. Elios going from charming, to a yandere, to not even being real in the first place, to being killed by Emma, to having him miraculously survive, to be the son of Mr. Oscar. Sophie turning into a backstabbing betrayer, to Yohan abandoning his morals in the pursuit of love, and Hana being a decent person underneath it all.

While some were good, some of these twists weren't executed well, and were inherently problematic from the presentation (looking at you, DID fakeout and Yohan throwing his morals away for Emma twists). I still held out to the end to see a resolution and hoped that the DID storyline was a hoax. Luckily, Emma clarified what she really suffered from, that being hallucinations and hearing voices, and I blew a sigh of relief.

THE CHARACTERS:

Emma Brenton: Let's start with our main protagonist with a mysterious past. Sweet, empathetic, and courageous, she was loveable in every single way. Though she was witless to "Elios'" doings, she still made a wonderful protagonist. However, things take a turn by the third season. After regaining her memories, she becomes heavy with guilt, and her personality becomes a lot more mature, still wanting to do what was right in the end and turning herself into the police, after it was revealed that she was behind most of the series' main conflicts. At the end of the day, I still love Emma, and I hope she's doing better in rehab.

Yohan Lee: One of my favorite fictional detectives ever! Charismatic, funny, but also incredibly sharp and intelligent, he instantly became my favorite character. I was literally rooting for him along with others for him to end up with Emma at the end. At least, until the third season. Hoo boy. He goes from being law-abiding and kind to becoming a rebel to the system, choosing to protect Emma from the law, against his own original morals. The twist came out of left field, and after finding out how he used Sophie as bait, it really left a sour taste in my mouth. I know one of the main themes of this webcomic is that 'not everyone's as they seem,' but the justice-seeking kid turning morally gray isn't something I was a fan of. Regardless, he's still an amazing and funny character, and he's still one of my favorites.

Elios Dunsworth: Where do I even begin? I went from hating him, absolutely detesting him, mind-boggled by how kind he actually is, and felt empathy towards him. Yandere!Elios was manipulative, mean, and a full on sociopath. This belief carried on for so long before it was revealed in episode 69 that Emma stabbed him a year ago, and has been hallucinating him out of guilt ever since, prompting her to 'become' Elios to subside those feelings. I immediately loved the real Elios, which we got to see during flashbacks to Emma's past, and the three-part "Elios" arc. He was putting on this perfect mask so as to not disappoint others around him, and seeing Farah gradually help him take it off was one of the sweetest things to ever happen in this comic. Elios becoming my favorite character by the end of the series is a sentence I would've never seen myself saying a year ago, but it's true!

Hanamika: I was hoping that Hana wasn't really romantically involved with the professor and didn't frame the trio for cheating, and boy was I relieved. Authors. This is how to write a best friend character. She's blunt, yet incredibly compassionate towards her friends. I smiled when she talked Yohan out of committing suicide, knowing full well it would've worked, because it was her. She's the no-nonsense, loyal, and caring BFF that Yohan definitely needed, and I think they make a fine pair (platonically)!

Sophie McCarthy: As soon as she appeared, I knew she was going to do something bad. And I was right. She put herself down an unhealthy amount, to the point that I started to cast suspicions on her. Enter season 2, where she accidentally pushes Emma into a river, and doesn't think of telling anyone else. I pity her, because she got the short end of the stick, having been bullied, used as bait by Yohan, stabbed, knocked unconscious and entering a coma, but she still did those things to Emma and never apologized. I don't exactly hate her, but don't like her at the same time.

Farah: Literally the sweetest girlfriend anyone could ask for. No wonder Emma was jealous. She helped Elios take of his mask and remained patient for him, even though she knew it'd take a long time. She's so sweet that she still managed to feel pity for Emma when she was holding her at knifepoint. Thank god she wasn't run over by that car and was able to get help for Elios.

Nura Kim: A complete foil to Hana, Nura is the stereotypical sassy best friend trope that I have come to hate, but with a twist. She's actually concerned for Emma's well-being, convincing her to report her sexual assault case to the police, and is insanely protective of the main trio. She's extremely violent, and has literally chased and beat up Yohan once he was accused of calling Emma fat (he didn't). She also has threatened to kill the professor who assaulted Emma. While I was sure that at one point, she'd actually commit a crime, luckily, she didn't. I was pretty surprised she got engaged to Jamie of all people though, but they have an interesting dynamic. Never change Nura, never change.

Overall, that's all I have to say about the WEBTOON. Full of engaging and funny characters, yet with a morbid plot, My Deepest Secret does a good job with balancing the dark with the light. I'm sad to see this one come to an end, and I hope that Hanza Art will create many more in the future. I wish them the best of luck in the future, and hope that people remember this comic for many years to come. Goodbye, My Deepest Secret, and thank you.

[danieyells]

Messy mutterings about Chapter 55 spoilers with a small angst warning, copypasted from discord with little cleaning and edits lol

I'm imagining Raphael sent Luke away so he wouldn't interfere with him killing/fighting Michael and Simeon went along with the idea and is in the human world too so Luke's not, y'know, on his own in a strange new world and to reduce Luke's suspicion and all. But as Michael and Raphael are fighting or whatever Luke somehow learns what's going on/realizes why things are off and rushes home to try and stop it.

He tries to get between Raphael and Michael(perhaps his back, Raph perhaps striking while Michael is lost in thought missing the brothers, spaced out, staring at the wall where their portraits were) and is struck violently by Raphael's spear instead. Simeon, ofc, followed him home to try and protect him but is too late because of Luke's own determination to protect Michael bonus if he grows a little in this scene--just magically, because his current smol form is too weak to help surely but if he were a little bigger, a little stronger, maybe he could make it in time--!! and Luke is impaled.

He doesn't die but none of the three wanted Luke hurt in this confrontation--Michael is angry at Raph for attacking/being violent in the first place, Raph is mad at Simeon for failing to restrain Luke, and Simeon is like is now really the time for this because hello Luke is hurt.

Angels are made of strong stuff, he's not gonna die but he'll be in a bad spot if they don't get him to an angel who specializes in healing. I've elected this to be Uriel for now although I've been told that Raphael is generally percieved as the angel of healing--but with OM canon his reputation sonfar is so hostile I'm gonna say that may not be the case. Michael (or Raph) can stave things off for a bit but he's not healing specialized either--they're all Archangels and Seraphs but their fields are elsewhere, mostly combat.

(Luke tries to assure that he's fine and attempts to remove the spear. They don't allow this because the spear is, of course, keeping most of his blood in at the moment.)

They can't fly him to someone because it'd be bumpier so they have to carry him or call/run/send for help--so other angels do learn what's going on and speculation begins. Luke is hospitalized and Raph and Michael and Simeon stay with him while he sleeps, kinda tensely, not really ready to talk out whatever happened. But before he passed out Luke tried to tell Raphael not to fight/kill Michael, to talk to him instead. He wanted to tell him to talk to the demons/humans too, they're not as bad as they think(he and Raph are very likeminded so he thinks 'maybe Raphael will listen to me since I'm starting to see that I was a little wrong maybe') but he couldn't get it out.

Simeon messages the demons, Solomon, and MC and says he won't be returning to the human world/devildom for a bit because Luke was hurt in the CR. Mammon, having had recently gotten attached to Luke, is stunned and angry and anxious and wants to know what happened. Simeon isn't ready to tell them yet, and Mammon demands Barb make a portal to the CR for him to check on Luke--surely Barb is also worried because he cares for Luke too!

Diavolo says they're not allowed to go and Barb agrees(he felt as much before Diavolo said anything too.) Simeon agrees because there's some unrest now and speculation and with an exchange student angel having had been injured by a notoriously demon-skeptical Archangel some angels are worried the demons may be involved in this somehow and if demons suddenly showed up it'd make things worse. Mammon curses his helplessness because his new little brother minion is hurt and he can't even check on him. Simeon feels helpless too--he's an archangel, a Seraph, but he can't help Luke either.

I imagine MC then offers to visit instead--they may be a powerful sorcerer now but they're still just a sheep human with an inhuman aura right? They wouldn't be as concerning for the general populace. After some consideration the demons and Solomon agree this would be okay, as does Michael and Simeon [and Raph maybe] but they say to wait a few hours/a day or two before doing so, just to allow some cooldown/recovery in the CR.

(In the meantime Mammon reviews one of Luke's recent text chains to him where he's baking something. He tries to copy all the steps and instructions and clumsily makes some cupcakes. They're ugly and Mammon isn't known for his stellar cooking, but they kinda relieve him a bit and Beel says they taste alright, so Mammon asks MC to bring them to the CR for Luke for him--there's enough for Michael too since he's probably going through a hard time. It's not like he cares or anything!! He's just building up credit! They'll owe him with interest when this is all said and done!!!)

Idk what'd happen afterwards--it's probably the first time MC meets Raph so it's not under the best circumstances and he definitely wouldn't trust sweets from a demon. And even if he was gonna fight/kill Michael he doesn't trust that Mammon would give him anything safe and instinctively would tell Michael not to touch them, let alone Luke if he's awake to do so. So it's not like he hates Michael, he just. Things need to change and he tried to incite it the only way he knows how--or, rather, the most effective way, given how quickly things changed after the Rebellion. A spear to the throat makes anyone listen. A rebellion is what made Michael change, so maybe it will help him go back to normal too.

(Maybe Luke is awake enough to hear them talking about these things and weakly asks if Raph is going to be exciled over this--the first thing he says since passing out. They're surprised because. He got injured trying to protect Michael but he's still trying to protect Raphael, Michael's assailant? But Luke understands how Raphael feels because he feels the exact same way--or he used to. He didn't trust demons or humans or sorcerers or the exchange program, he didn't think they should get along at all. And he saw how sad Michael was without the brothers and hated them for that too--and Raph feels the same way, right?

Angels are all family. Raphael, Michael, Luke, Simeon, even when they disagree, when their views don't align due to time and perspectives and experiences and ages and positions, they're all brothers. And Lucifer and them were their family too. Even if they disliked them or how they behaved, even if they resent their rebellion and its effects they were still family and they loved and cared about them.

And Raphael doesn't want to see Michael hurting anymore either--certainly not over people who don't care anymore, certainly not over people who turned on them and Father, who must hate them as well. . .but he's been with the brothers for over a year now. Maybe two or three at this point. And he may have only learned it recently but. . .they haven't forgotten. They probably don't hate them. And the demons, the humans, even those unfaithful and the practitioners of dark magic, the fallen, they're not as bad as they thought. They're not necessarily their enemies. Raphael doesn't know it like Luke does because he's never left the CR aside for war and maybe visiting the human world briefly too, right? But if he'd consider things differently, if he's allowed a chance to learn, Luke himself promises Michael, promises Father who's surely watching as he always is, that he'll understand. Raph made a rash decision albeit after many many years of consideration-- but it was out of ignorance, so please forgive him and give him another chance and don't excile him? On top of that he needs a chance to learn and do better--imagine how he'd feel, being turned into something he hates or fears? It will help him learn, sure, but it also may only make him feel worse or make him do something more rash or result in another Fall if he has supporters.

Raphael doesn't hate Michael--he just wants things to be different. Perhaps to go back to normal. And he doesn't want Michael to mope over the loss of the seven brothers and Lilith anymore either.

And maybe in this time, since they'd have to decide what to do about Raph, Michael requested Diavolo come over too--y'know, in case Raph is exciled, they'd want Diavolo's approval and reassurance to keep an eye on him too. So maybe he or Barb, as they arrive in the room, would approve of Luke's appeal--ask what Michael and Simeon And Raph and MC think. They could always bring him in as an exchange student too! 😘 That worked for Luke!

Ultimately Raph probably wouldn't be exciled/become a Fallen but be given another chance. Maybe he's stripped of his title temporarily, until he's sufficiently deemed to learn about demons, angels, their history together, culture, whether or not they can get along, etc--so he's bitter, but thankful. And Michael understands that perhaps he's been allowing how much he misses the brothers and Lilith to cloud him and maybe it's time to move on and make changes to the Celestial Realm again after all this time. Bonus points if the bros came along and he was too distracted to sense them--someone's like "oh you're moving on? So we came here for no reason after all?" and ofc he's happy to see them again and gets to hang out with them again for a while before getting to say a goodbye with more closure. And he hangs off of Lucifer's neck the whole time they're there lol he and Dia bond over being Lucifer fanboys too.

Luke's okay in the end--a little worse for wear because being stabbed by Raphael is Not A Small Ordeal but he's okay and he shows a little more maturity. But he's also still same old Luke who will happily point out how awful demons are and use it as an excuse for distrust/fear--but he's more mindful of it now because he feels like he needs to set a good example for Raph lmao.)

[jisvnq]

[ 12:22PM ]

title | Photograph

genre | fluff

warnings | none

word count | ~1.5k words

requested | nope~

description | where jisung gets dared to take a picture with you, otherwise he'll have to ask you out. either way induces a weird fluttery feeling in his stomach.

z.txt | okay, so i've changed how it looks (again) lol, so i'm reblogging it, and wow... i can't believe this was my first oneshot... i remember making this in celebration because i came back to tumblr for the first time :D i've gone through this and i think i've improved on my writing a bit :DD ok here you go~~

[ □ ]

"Oh, God, no," Jisung groans as his friends cheered, all looking to one specific girl who sat down under the tree. "No, no, no, no way!"

"A dare's a dare, Jisung," Chenle grinned, mocking him with his own words. "You better do it."

"There's no way I'm gonna take a picture with Y/n!" Jisung said in panic, braving a glance towards you, who sat peacefully on the grass. "No way!"

"C'mon, dude," Haechan smirked, putting an arm around Jisung's shoulders. "So what if you ask for a picture? It's just a picture."

"God, it's gonna be so obvious!" Jisung whined as they stood up, dragging the poor boy to the exit. Jisung tried turning around, but it seems like Jeno, who was now in Haechan's place, wasn't having any of it.

"What's gonna be so obvious?" Renjun teased.

Jisung blushed a bright pink. "You know what! Just– change the dare!"

"Alright," Jaemin smirked. "But you've gotta pick and do at least one by the end of lunch."

"Anything," Jisung pleaded as they stopped in the hallway. Wrong move.

"It's either you ask Y/n out on a date date," Jaemin wiggled his eyebrows. "Or you take a selfie with her."

"You could do both," Chenle grinned. "That works too."

"Oh, no, no, no," Jisung repeated like a mantra, trying ineffectively to resist his friends' force as they pushed him to the exit. "No, oh God, no!"

"Oh, come on, Jisung!" Haechan huffed, holding the struggling boy captive. "Just one picture, just one date. If she rejects you, well, that's impossible."

"How'd you know that?" Jisung asked, miserably trying and failing to escape from Jeno's grasp. "She'd reject me on the spot."

Haechan shrugged as they began to push him towards you again. "I have my sources."

Despite his struggling, deep inside, Jisung had wanted to do this dare, much more than he was letting out. If you did reject him, well, he had an excuse. And if you didn't, he might as well be the happiest boy on Earth.

Soon enough, you were right there in front of him, serene and at peace, softly bobbing your head along to the song playing in your earphones. Jisung simply gave up at this point, looking to his friends who all hid behind another closeby tree nervously. They all gave him a thumbs up. Taking a deep breath, he sat down beside you, making his friends squeal silently.

"Uh- excuse me?" Jisung said timidly, but seeing as you had music blasting through your ears, you didn't hear a thing.

Jisung raised a shaky hand and tapped your shoulder lightly. "E- excuse me, Y/n?"

You turned your head quickly out of surprise, but the gesture caught him off guard, his face suddenly in front of yours. Your cheeks both tinted pink when you had regained your composure.

"Oh– Jisung," you said, taking your earphones out and putting your book down. "What- what brings you here?"

"W- well, uh–" Jisung struggled to form a proper sentence, trying to get his thoughts in check. "I was wondering... you think you could– we could take a picture.... together...?"

His voice got tinier and tinier at the end and it had made you give him a warm smile that had butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"A picture?" you asked. "What for?"

"That- that's not important now," Jisung said, clearly embarrassed as he took his phone out nervously. He looked to you, biting the inside of his cheeks. "So...?"

Who were you to say no to Park Jisung?

"Of course," you said, easing his nerves a bit, but their shot back up as soon as you scoot closer to him to fit in his camera's frame.

It was awkward at first, his hands shaking and sweating, your body angled awkwardly toward the camera, but soon enough, after a bit of teasing from you and some small talk, he loosened up a bit, and you did too. Your elbow now rested on his shoulder, and you two grinned, laughing as you made faces to capture.

"It's a nice book, really," you hummed, running a hand over the cover. You look up to him. "Say, do you want to borrow it?"

Jisung's cheeks flushed. "Oh, no– it's fine. You're still reading it. I can just borrow afterwards."

You chuckled, handing him the book. "It's fine. I don't remember how many times I've even read it. It's called rereading, if you didn't know."

"Hey," Jisung said as he took the book from your hands. "I do know what rereading is. Just, not that you've reread this book."

You chuckled. "I know."

The two of you just sat there on the grass, backs leant against the tree, stealing glances at each other that Jisung's friends hidden behind a neighboring tree didn't miss and didn't hesitate to point out to Jisung, who forgot they were even there.

"Ask her out!" Chenle half-whispered, half-shouted, making Jisung widen his eyes and gesture for him to hide while Jaemin urgently pulled the boy back.

"What was that?" you asked, looking around suspisciously, meeting Jisung's shaking eyes.

"Uh, nothing!" Jisung said a bit too quickly, suddenly unable to look you in the eyes. He knew he already succeeded in his dare, why did he want to ask you out now too?

You nodded, clearly not believing him, but letting it slide. You got up, which surprised Jisung, the boy standing up after you.

"Well," you said, dusting off your skirt. You smiled at him, somehow sad you had to leave. "I guess I have to go now. Class will start soon and my classroom's on the other side of the campus."

"Wait," Jisung said as soon as you turned around, trying to grab your wrist, like what he saw in the movies, but he missed, grabbing your hand instead. He blushed. "I- I, uh, want to ask you something."

You turned around, cheeks the same shade as his, feeling his hands begin to sweat. Your heart beat faster in your chest, thumping against your ribcage harshly. Was he gonna say what you think he'll say?

"What is it?" you asked, almost a whisper. "Jisung?"

"Do you–" Jisung inhaled deeply. "Do you think we could meet up some time? Like- like at the cafe across the street or the library or something? I- I mean, I need to give you the book back, don't I?"

You let a relieved laugh slip from your lips, and it scared Jisung a bit. Why were you laughing? Were you gonna reject him? Oh no–

"Jisung," you said again, a soft smile on your lips. "I'd love to hang out with you some time. Anytime. Just send me when and where, I'll be there."

Jisung's head was pretty much a mess right now. He just asked the prettiest girl in school out, and she said yes. He wanted to slap himself. Was he dreaming? The electricity he felt run up his arm when you squeezed his hand before letting go told him he wasn't.

"How- how will I contact you?" Jisung asked you.

You gave him a grin. "Check the back of the book. It's for when it gets lost."

Jisung turned to the back cover and saw a name and a phone number written on it. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, isn't this your brother's name?"

You laughed brightly. "It's just so no one tries anything if I leave a book lost somewhere. It's happened a few times before."

It was silent for a few moments, just the two of you looking at one another with shy smiles, standing awkwardly in front of each other.

"So," Jisung finally breaks the silence, looking down to his feet as he breaks eye contact. "You- you think tomorrow's okay?"

"To meet up?" you asked. Jisung nodded eagerly, making you chuckle. "Of course! Just send me the photos and I'll be there for sure!"

Jisung smiled, your heart doing a little flip when he did so. "I will."

The two of you bid your goodbyes, you gathering enough courage to wink at Jisung, making his cheeks heat up once again, and he made his way back to his friends with a stupidly wide smile on his face and unsteady feet.

"Woah, dude," Chenle grinned as they all pat their friend's back. "You look like you're drunk."

"Yeah," Jisung grinned back. "Drunk with Y/n~"

"Oh God, she broke him," Renjun snorted.

"So I take it as you got the date?" Jaemin hummed.

Jisung nodded excitedly. "Yep! And I got the pictures! Plus her number!"

Jeno whistled. "Jisung's got the girl alright."

"Ha!" Haechan pumped his fist into the air. "Told you it'd work out fine!"

"Shut up," Jisung mumbled, cheeks turning pink.

And when the topic strayed further and further away from you, Jisung found himself daydreaming about you. He always imagined how a date with you would go. Now, he'd have to work hard to put it into reality. Especially since that reality was with you.

Safe to say, he sent you the pictures (definitely not during history), confirming your attendance for tomorrow's date. Soon enough, one date lead to another, and another, and another, each one with their own corresponding photographs as memories with each other add up.

One date after another, one memory after another, one photograph after another. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

[ ■ ]

[imperial-martian]

Protective vs Possesive {Mycroft Holmes x Reader} [Part 2/?]

A/N: Sorry that it has taken me so long to get done, but I’ve finally gotten inspiration with the help of @kye06. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I was a bit iffy with it until the end, which I really love. Let me know what you think and if this should be the end or if more parts should be added!

Mycroft x Ex-Wife! Pregnant! Reader

Angst/Fluff

(Mentions of Divorce, Pregnancy, Fainting, Hospitals, Mentions of Llightly Unhealthy Weight Loss, Soft! Mycroft)

•—•

Sherlock was sat in Bart's hospital sitting room, his hands interlaced and his chin resting upon them as he waited and waited. Each second that past felt like hours, each minute felt like days. The ticking of the clock at the corner of the room was slowly driving the man crazy.

It had only been a month and a half since you've moved into Baker Street with Sherlock and John. Every day seemed to be weighing down on you more and more. There was no more waking up to morning kisses that, Mycroft so loved to greet you with, or the smell of freshly brewed coffee. No more late-night cuddles and silent reading as you laid in his arms, smiling.

With every memory came the ghost of his touch, and with that came the guilt. You should've cherished those moments you had with him, to thank Mycroft for always ensuring your safety. Now, you couldn't even do that. The simple thought of him made you want to cry.

Yet, you were unable to think about anybody at the moment. Not while you lied, unconscious in a hospital bed while doctors and nurses tried to determine what was wrong before finally, they did.

However, Sherlock was still waiting, and he was still slowly going insane with impatience. He let only a second pass him before he cams his older brother, his blue eyes shut as he listened to the ringing of the phone.

On the other side of London, in an office, sat Mycroft Holmes, a government official who was just scribbling down a note on a piece of paper. The moon was shining in through the window, having just crept past a cloud that obscured some of its light. The auburn-haired man let out a little grunt into the glass of scotch he had just raised to his lips. A phone call was the last thing he wanted to deal with at the moment.

Nonetheless, he grabbed the device, seeing if he recognized the number before feeling a sudden sense of shock and worry as he saw his brother's name. In a quick motion, Mycroft had placed down the scotch glass while throwing on his coat as he brought the phone up to his ear.

"Sherlock?" he said through the phone, moving around his desk to gather some things. If it wasn't an emergency then at least he'd be packed and have an excuse to head home.

Sherlock let out a small sigh as he heard his brother's voice, a sound he wasn't sure that relieved him or annoyed him. "Mycroft, come down to Bart's, Y/N's in the hospital," he stated, getting straight to the point and not wanting to waste time.

Mycroft was surprised for a moment, not because Y/N was in hospital but because he was being informed that she was. "Why am I being told this? And why am I being asked to visit her?" Mycroft asked, his tone airy and yet, somehow it sounded almost cold.

"Because this was your wife Mycroft! Because the person you once loved is now lying unconscious in a hospital room, and even I don't know what's wrong! That's why Mycroft, because if Y/N had even cracked a bit of that facade you've created, then you'd care enough to see her. God forbid she took her last breath in an hour and you weren't here to say goodbye or sorry, wouldn't you want to see her one last time?!"

Mycroft was shocked by his brother's outburst. He'd been yelled at plenty of times before by Sherlock, however, never for such a severe reason. A moment passed before he said, "I'll be there in ten minutes," and hung up the phone.

True to his word, Mycroft arrived at the hospital ten minutes later, walking towards the waiting room where Sherlock no longer sat. The government official walked up to the front desk, asking what room you were in.

"294," the nurse said before Mycroft said a quick thank you and made his way down the hall, his umbrella gripped tightly in his hand. He held it at the center, his leather shoes loud against the tiled floor.

He reached the room after a bit of walking, peaking through the window to spot his brother sitting at a chair beside the bed. Mycroft didn't bother looking around to see you, knocking on the door and waiting for someone to answer it. When the door was answered, Mycroft's blue eyes caught the ones of his brother who simply nodded and let him pass.

"Is she alright?" Mycroft asked, taking a step into the room and looking over at you. He placed the umbrella off to the side of the room and took a seat once he was finished.

He hadn't seen you properly since the ordeal that took place months ago. His heart ached at the sight of your s/c skin being much paler than what it usually is. Your body was a bit skinnier than he remembered and for a moment he feared the worst.

"Has she been eating properly?" Mycroft asked his brother who remained by the door.

Sherlock shook his head slightly. "She seems to be skipping breakfast every morning," he starts. "However, thankfully she eats her other meals."

Mycroft nodded, taking you over once more. "Did the doctors tell you what was wrong?" he inquired, his eyes never leaving your body.

Sherlock made a small hum. He knew that this should be something told to his brother, as well as yourself, by a doctor, but he knew it'd eat his brother alive if he didn't tell him. "She's pregnant Mycroft," he paused for a moment, expecting to see a reaction from Mycroft. When he didn't he continued, "they said she had fainted due to stress. They suspect she doesn't know she's with child yet."

All Mycroft could give in response was a weak nod before he asked his brother to leave for a moment. Sherlock obeyed Mycroft's wishes, taking a step out and moving back towards the waiting room before leaving altogether. He knew it was best to leave them both for some time.

Mycroft had leaned back against his seat, his mind seeming to bark questions at him, some that he didn't know the answers to. He looked back at you for a moment, taking in your h/c hair and familiar features. His hand was trembling as he brought it up to brush the strands of hair that cling to your face behind your ear.

Mycroft felt guilty at that moment. Guilty for leaving you when he could have been taking care of you, holding you close and protecting you. He was angry at himself that this entire situation was caused simply because he wanted to keep you safe, and yet, of course, he was the one harming you. It was always like that.

He'd never felt such a strong urge to hold you in his life. To whisper to you softly, letting you know that he couldn't wait to be a father and that you'd make an amazing mother. Yet, you were no longer his. He'd asked for the divorce.

The sudden feeling of warm, soft skin brushing against his arm caused his blue eyes to snap up towards you, his hand moving to clutch at your instinctively. "Y/N," he breathed out softly.

You felt emotional seeing Mycroft beside you, but you did not cry. All you did was smile back before facing the heart rate monitor. "Mycroft, what's wrong? W-why are you here?" you asked, scared and confused.

Mycroft tried his best to give you a reassuring smile. It was clearly forced and strained. He was about to answer you when a doctor entered the room, both heads turning to look at them.

"Ah, Mrs. Holmes-" you'd both tensed at that, but you couldn't blame the doctor. The divorce had yet to be finalized. "I'm glad to see you're awake. We've run some tests and nothing looks to be too worrisome. As a matter of fact, the cause of your fainting, although partially due to stress, is caused by pregnancy symptoms. Congratulations," the doctor explained.

Your eyes widened as you looked at Mycroft, fear written all over your face. How would this work now that you weren't with Mycroft?

Mycroft caught onto the fear quickly and gently ran a thumb over your knuckles, trying to assure you it'd be alright. Once the doctor left the room, Mycroft turned to look into your e/c eyes.

"Mycroft, wh-what are we going to do?" you asked, your hands trembling just as much as his are.

He took in a sharp breath for a moment, looking at you. "Y/N, I-I'd happily call off the divorce if you're willing to do the same. I... I'm not sure if I've truly ever wanted it. Ever since I've said it all I've felt was misery," he stated, his voice shaky. Mycroft's never had to say something like this. He's rarely ever let his emotions be spoken so freely.

You'd brought your hand up to his cheek when a single tear slipped from his eye. It wasn't a tear full of sadness, it was one of anger and guilt... and of the loneliness he tried so hard to get rid of only to welcome it back with open arms. Now, all he wanted to do was take you into his arms.

"I'd want nothing more than that, My," you whispered, and hearing the nickname- the one that used to bring him so much warmth -nearly caused Mycroft to cry more. He didn't, instead, moving to sit on the edge of your bed before taking you into his arms and adjusting himself so that he wouldn't hurt you.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck, the warmth of your body against his cool skin causing him to feel safe and at home. "I've missed you," he whispered, placing a kiss against your shoulder.

"I've missed you too My," you whispered back, carefully running your fingers through his hair. "You'll make a great father," and just the thought of it caused you to smile because you knew it'd be true.

Mycroft lifted his head a bit to look into your eyes, a soft smile on his face. "And you'll be the best mother anyone could ever have, my dear," he replied, leaning down to give you a sweet, but passionate kiss against your lips. He'd only broken apart to murmur a soft, 'I love you,' before kissing you again.

[toziersoneliners]

Losers! [Chubby Reader]

⛓ | summer |

For some, the last day of school could be sorrowful. However (Y/n) couldn't help but feel a little relieved. She wasn't worried about not seeing her friends until school started up again, Richie was her neighbor and she practically spent all of her time with either Eddie or Bill. Though recently she'd been hanging around the nice boy Mike Hanlon. Though a bit shy, he was sweet and gentle, something (Y/n) wasn't really used to. Though she was apart of the Losers Club and hung around all boys, she was never really a tough girl. Some could have said it was due to her abusive home, but nor her or the boys thought so. If it was really because of her constant abuse, then she'd be strong, not weak. Her mother was the villain in her story, and that woman scared the daylights out of the chubby girl.

(Y/n) feared nothing like she feared her own mother.

Usually you'd see the father being the abusive one, but that wasn't something (Y/n) could ever see happening to herself. Her father, Matthieu Snow, was the kindest man in Derry, Maine. No one could ever convince her otherwise, either.

Despite her horrid home situation, she was often finding herself distracted these days. Her best friend Eddie Kaspbrak had been locked up in his house for a few days, no doubt to the fault of his overprotective mother. (Y/n) was bored out of her mind. While Eddie sure wasn't the most exciting person to be around, she found the boy to be wholesome, reminding her of a lost puppy almost. Like mentioned before, she wasn't strong willed, so she didn't have the guts to show up at the Kaspbrak residence to go and ask to see Eddie. Sonya was terrifying to (Y/n), intimidation making her hesitant to even go near Eddie's house. It was extremely annoying, because she couldn't find Richie either. Her last bet was Mike, but then she'd have to take the risk of bumping into Henry Bowers, something that too, just like her own mother or Sonya Kaspbrak, scared the girl numb.

Instead, she went to find fun elsewhere, by herself. The arcade was the first place that jumped into her precious little head. Though she hated being alone, she knew that a good game of PAC-MAN or Street Fighter could cheer her right up, distract her from her loneliness. She should have known, of course, that Richie Tozier would be at the beloved arcade, training, as he called it.

The arcade was dark, but the neon lights from the various game machines lit up the place like a huge Christmas tree. The only adults to be seen was the owner of the arcade and a few man-children, ones her father would tell (Y/n) to stay away from in the future.

'Whether you marry a man or not, stay away from those boys who still live with their mothers past the age of twenty.'

She could see why, of course. As soon as she was able to understand the complexities of boys, she knew what kind of person she'd want to marry in the future. Whenever she thought about it, Mike ended up coming to her mind, as odd as it may have sounded. She wasn't interested romantically, or at least she didn't think she was. (Y/n) had no idea what love was, and wasn't sure if she really wanted to know. Love, according to some of the girls at school, entailed showing your private bits to every boy who asked, and (Y/n) knew for a fact that she wasn't that type of girl, in fact she was sure that she never would be.

"Fuck!"

The vulgar manner of speaking belonged to none other than Richie Tozier himself. The boy groaned to himself in irritation as he lost a battle in SF, pushing his large glasses up with one finger. He catches a hint of light blue and turns around only to see the chubby girl he'd come to know over the years. Richie wasn't sure what had made (Y/n) a loser, but she was one... a very cute one. He didn't give a damn about her weight, she was too cute and it killed Richie. Her sweaters and ripped up jeans, high top converse, it all made her so... LOSER. It didn't bother Richie in the slightest, damn he'd say he loved her weird sense of style.

He'd wanted to ask her to join him in the arcade just as school let out, but like always she had run off with Eddie. Was it disappointing? Yes. But did that really matter now? Not really.

Richie could guess from her bored expression and no one accompanying her, that Eddie Kaspbrak was indeed locked away in his house. She only ever wandered around when there was no one else from the Losers Club to hang out with. However, she always seemed to find one of them anyway, just as she'd found Richie in the arcade.

He smiles goofily, stepping away from the video game machine and walks towards the shy girl. Sliding his extra coins into his pocket, Richie comes up behind (Y/n) as she was momentarily distracted, staring at the greasy seeming floor of the arcade with slight disgust. She loved the arcade, she really did, but couldn't they make it a bit cleaner?

Sneakily, Richie wraps his arms around her shoulders, scaring the living crap out of her.

"HOLY FUDGE!" She squeaks out, looking behind her only to see the toothy smile of Richie Tozier. She really should have known it'd be him, after all, who'd just come up behind some girl and squeeze them like that?

"Gotcha! Where's Eds?" Richie asks, letting her go. He kind of already knew the answer, but the girl in front of him didn't know that. She huffs cutely, fiddling with the ends of her light blue sweater. Richie was of course the one who scared her, her neighbor.

"Mrs. Kaspbrak won't let him leave the house, so I came here." (Y/n) explains, looking a bit sad. Though she definitely loved all of the Losers, Eddie was by far her favorite. After all, she'd known him for such a long time, what was she supposed to do without him?

"I was going to find Mike, but then I'd have to pass Henry's house and that definitely wasn't going to happen. After all of that I was boredom so I came to the arcade."

Hearing her explanation, Richie couldn't help but flinch. Earlier that day he'd seen Bowers walking around with his dumb goons, Belch and Vic. The freckled Tozier knew very well how scared they made (Y/n), and he had a sick feeling in his stomach telling him that they weren't too far away. It didn't matter though, Richie thought to himself cheerily. He would be there to protect (Y/n), because he was in every way, a man. He'd be damned if he'd let some dumb Henry Bowers scare him off. Still... it'd be good to stay away from the easily irritable teen. There couldn't be any harm in staying inside the darkness of the greasy arcade, right? Sure, it wasn't the best place to hang out with a cute girl, but shoot, she didn't seem to mind either.

"You're still here? I thought you'd at least go home for a nap." She says, snapping Richie out of his thoughts. He lets out a funny sounding laugh, that type of laugh he gave whenever he was nervous but trying to keep a good mask on.

"Yeah well, I might have seen Bowers outside of the arcade earlier, so I wasn't about to leave." Richie says, letting out another weird laugh. She was half expecting him to go back to his game, but he instead grabbed her hand and dragged her away from where they were standing. A soft squeak left her as Richie pulled her down underneath a dusty table, pushing her to the ground while holding a hand to her mouth.

He looked scared, she realized.

She also realized that Henry Bowers himself was snooping around the arcade, eyes glowering dangerously. She, of course, didn't know how long he'd been there, but he seemed like he knew what he was looking for. He didn't happen to see her enter the arcade, did he? A sudden feeling of guilt washes over (Y/n). Richie was just having a grand time before she decided to show up and ruin everything. There would hav been a huge chance that she was completely wrong, but she couldn't help the disgusting, slimy feeling.

The feeling she'd done something wrong.

Whimpering, she pulls Richie closer to her, her eyes wold as she watches the bully stalk through the dusty arcade. The neon lights of the games seemed to illuminate Henry's face, making the experience that much more horrible. He looked... terrifying.

Though he was trying to act brave in front of (Y/n), Richie was sweating, and he was sure she could feel it. His hand that was still covering her mouth was sweating. When he realizes this, he doesn't think much of it. Though he was sure if Eddie was there they'd get caught. The hypochondriac would flip his shit if he saw Richie touching (Y/n)'s mouth, it was, for some reason, a big no no.

Eventually, Henry passes.

Richie grabs his friend by the scuff of her light blue sweater and yanks her right out from under the dirty table, dragging her quickly out of the arcade.

|

"I'm sure he didn't just follow you into the arcade." Stan says, flipping through his bird book with an uninterested expression. Really, Richie brought out the worst in (Y/n). He brought out her paranoid side, and it was showing obviously right then.

The two eleven year olds were nearly screaming at Stan about their terrifying encounter with Henry Bowers. (Y/n) wasn't yelling like Richie was, and she definitely wasn't cussing like he was, but she still seemed panicked. If it had been just her that came to Stan, he would have believed her and tried to comfort her, but of course Richie was there. The trash mouth was always putting stupid idea into (Y/n)'s mind, and Stan was fed up with it. She was, unlike some of the Losers, a good kid. She got good grades, she was nice, and she was undeniably cute. She just seemed to choose to hang around with the wrong people.

People like Richie Tozier.

"Are you sure this actually happened? Or is this some stupid fantasy Richie put in your head?" Stan questions, rubbing the back of his neck hole looking at the wide eyed (Y/n) and Richie. The two of them were sweating, near tears, and motioning with their hands wildly. It was an odd scene, you could imagine. Suddenly (Y/n) stopped to stare at Stan with a monotone expression.

"Of course it happened!" She exclaimed, her eyes searching for any kind of doubt in Stan's expression. He sighed, pressing a hand down to close his bird book.

"Are you sure, though?" Stan asks, rubbing his eye slightly. He looked, above all, bored. His first day of summer break had been going pretty slow. He knew he was probably supposed to be studying for his Bar Mitzvah, but he wasn't exactly in the studying kind of mood. He had, initially, gotten himself into a better mood when he saw (Y/n), but this ridiculous story, or maybe it wasn't so ridiculous, had put him right back where he started.

She stopped to give Stan a look, that look. In all rationality, (Y/n) was the mom of the group. That look, it was the kind of look a scolding mother would give her young child for coming home too late or something similar. Stan never really payed attention to it, but he guessed that it wasn't just some fantasy Richie had put in her head. She only ever gave him that kind of look when she was serious about something, that Stan knew.

"Stan."

"Alright, I believe you."

"Didn't take too much to convince you." Richie muttered, wiping his sweaty palms on the material of his jeans.

|

Stan, Richie and (Y/n) had spent their first day of summer break walking around Derry. Running around with ice cream, soda, and several other things. They had caught Bill running around as well, and he had hitched with them too. Besides the encounter at the arcade, there had been no sightings of Henry Bowers or his stupid goons, and all of them were glad.

"I wonder... how long do you think Eddie will have to stay locked up?" (Y/n) asks, looking at Bill and Richie as the sun started to disappear from the sky, leaving the pink cotton candy to float around. Bill, handing her another cone of vanilla ice cream, lifted his lips up in a small smile.

"What? Can't deal with us by yourself?"

Richie snorts while (Y/n) takes a bite of her ice cream, it was her third one that night, but no one in the group was complaining.

"No... I just miss him."

Once again, Richie snorts.

"Hey, Marshmallow."

The Losers freeze.

{I'm reading the book, so things may be different, but I've also watched the 2017 movie, so that's the character design I'm thinking of. Probably not going to go in when they're adults, I prefer the younger version just because. This book is a little bit of an AU, not a lot of major character death happens. Trigger warnings for death and abuse, but it's not really that bad.}

[80s-roger]

when love must die: joe mazzello

summary: you're married to joe mazzello for three years; the best three years of your life and the previous three dating and later being engaged. however, since day one of your marriage, you try for a successful pregnancy but they all end up failed. your most successful pregnancy was an IVF one, but the tube baby didn't make it at the last day of the first trimester. 

portray: current joe obv, female reader at 30.

words: 2306

warnings: unprotected sex, fluff, domestic violence experience, argument.

note: there will be part two.

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe was at the set, he'd be back home soon for dinner. The table was ready and you got yourself a pregnancy test. You ran to the bathroom upstairs to finally find out. Plus or minus? You didn't have your period since the last time you had sex with him -almost two months ago- and you were excited if it was because of a fetus growing inside you.

You took the test, sitting impatiently at the toilet's cap, waiting for the result. You wished it was a plus symbol, meaning you're pregnant. Unfortunately, it had just a horizontal line. You were disappointed again. Crying loudly because your husband wasn't home, so you finally had the time to let it all out. You've been praying days and nights to have a baby. It's unfair for you when other women throw their newborns at the litter.

Suddenly the door opens fastly and you were scared to death. You got relieved as you saw Joe looking at you with terror in his eyes.

"What happened?" He asked terrified sitting next to you, placing you in his big arms.

You didn't say a word. The tears wouldn't stop running. He erased them with his fingers, until he noticed the test next to you. He looked at you without saying a word. He took it at his hand and saw it was negative. He threw it at the bin and pulled you closer, rubbing your back.

"It's going to happen. Don't worry." He whispered.

Thankfully, he was really supportive on this. He wants to be a dad as much as you want to be a mum but he is patient and never stresses you on this. You've seen your doctor and he says it's just your nature. Nature? A woman's nature after unprotected sex, is getting pregnant, having a fetus growing at her uterus for nine months and later having it in her arms, breastfeeding it. You can't try forever. There will be someday, you'll reach menopause.

Joe and you walked at the kitchen, ready to eat your dinner. He places you at your chair but you had no will on eating.

"Baby you gotta eat." He said after taking a bite of his portion.

"I'm not hungry..." You sobbed, placing your dish away from you.

"It's probably too early for the test to know..." He mentioned the test, trying to make you feel better.

"It's been almost two months, not two days." You commented, looking at him. Your dinner stopped. It was just talk.

"I'm trying to help here. I know it's hard, but we'll make it." He placed his palm over your hand.

"It's easier said than done Joe. Do you have any idea how terrible I feel?" You whimpered. "We're trying for three years, we'd have a baby by now." You stuttered.

"It's fine Y/N... I'm patient enough to make space for your emotions." he explained.

"Why are you even married with me? I'm nothing but an obstacle to your new family." You pledged. It was so sad.

"You're my family. What are you talking about?" He sat on his knees, kissing your hands. He proposed to you on one knee. Good memories.

"But you want kids. And we lost the older one. Remember?" You reminded him. His eyes darkened.

"I remember. But that does not prevent me from not being with you. I can't even imagine my life without you." He implied and caressed your cheek.

"I love you Joe." You silently wailed and he leaned closer to you.

"And I love you." He toned. "Listen, how about going upstairs and lay? I'll be there in a few, I have to fix the table." He smiled and you nodded.

You closed the door behind your bedroom, changed to your nighty and laid on the bed, calling your mum.

"Hey mum." You said.

"Hello darling, how are you?" She asked. You didn't reply. "Um.." she started. "You tried again, didnt you?" She knew about your lack of fertility.

"Yes, it was negative." You answered.

"What did he say?"  She somehow didn't really like Joe, but Joe didn't give a shit.

"He's nothing but a supportive and patient husband." You nod your head feeling great for being his wife.

"And what are you going to do now?" She curiously asked.

"Try again, I guess..." You implored.

"But you've seen that sex won't help you get pregnant." she decreed.

"And where are you getting with it? Doing medical procedures in cold laboratories?" You gasped.

"Keep that method, it almost happened. Your husband has money to afford it." she had the nerve to instruct.

"It's not only his money, but mine too. We both work. We'll both raise this baby." You corrected her. "I just called you to let you know it was one more unsuccessful try. You won't know about it by the day you'll see me with a baby in my arms." You elaborated and hang up your phone without hearing her answer.

Five minutes later, Joe came to your bedroom. He took off his clothes and went inside your bathroom, taking a shower. It didn't last long and he was next to you, on his towel, around his waist. He sat next to you when his big palms caressed your stomach. That move made you whimper.

"Don't cry, it'll happen." He really is an optimist person. He wiped off some of your tiny tears ready to escape from your eyes. "I don't know if it's the appropriate time, but do you want us to try again? Or should we go for in vitro fertilization?" He gently asked.

"I don't want IVF, I don't feel comfortable there. Only with you." You disclosed and he came closer to your face kissing you gently.

His big hands caressed you everywhere. You looked so tiny beneath him, however it made you feel important. Your hands kept touching his attractive biceps until he removed the towel around him, staying naked on top of you. With one move, he removed your nighty and massaged your breasts, when his face leaned towards your neck, giving you soft kisses. He finally removed your underwear and trusted inside you. His moans were so deep and his eyes locked in you. Your arms, around his neck and his back, giving small nail scratches.

"I love you Joe." You moaned between the thrusts you received.

"I love you too y/n ..." He softly said when you felt him moving deeper. He knew every inch of your body. Literally. He knew how deep you could take him and how much. "Babe, are you close?" He asked making sure you'd finish too.

"Yes..." You moaned kissing his lips.

"Alright, because I am." he caressed your cheek and his moves were sudden and slow, which means he was done inside you, possibly fertilizing you. You came together and after removing himself from you, he wore his underwear and helped you get your clothes too. He covered you with the layers and hugged you tight.

"I hope this time it's happening." You said at his arms.

"Fingers crossed." He smiled at you.

You were the little spoon tonight; Joe was hugging you from behind and you felt protected. This is how he makes you feel everytime you're together. You're just made for each other.

You woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and frightened of your nightmare. You stood up from your bed crying loudly. Joe next to you grabbed a bottle of water, you always have at your stand, offering it. He gently rubbed your back telling you to calm down, it was just a bad dream, it's not reality. But what if it really is? What if you really are infertile? You were on the edge of going insane. He pulled you closer, playing with your hair so you'd eventually return to your sleep.

The next morning, Joe wasn't next to you. He probably went downstairs, making breakfast. You had to get ready and see him at the kitchen. But you heard speeches coming from there as you walked the stairs so you decided to eavesdrop. There was your younger brother Ben talking with him. That's how you actually met each other. Ben set you up.

"How's things?" Ben asked. You didn't really talk to him about you and Joe but Joe does. They are like best friends.

"Terrible." Joe admitted and Ben looked at him confused. "I mean, I love her but we keep failing on growing our family." He explained and took a sip of his coffee.

"How long have you been trying?" He asked preoccupied.

"Since the wedding night, counting three years." He declared.

"I've heard my mother talking with y/n about it but I didn't really pay attention. However, how do you feel about it?" Ben questioned.

"I can't blame y/n about this, it's happening to many women but I also can't see myself without kids." He opened up to his best friend. You instantly felt heart broken.

"And then what? Will you divorce her because of that? She loves you more than anything Joe." Ben explained.

"I can't divorce her. She's my everything. But I also don't want to keep trying. I want to have babies in this big house as soon as possible. I don't want to age." He shook his head broken hearted.

"You do feel sad about it. Do you have any idea how sadder it is for her? A baby is a bless." Ben protested. You wanted to hear more. They'd stop the conversation if you appeared in the kitchen.

"I'm not pressuring her. When we did the IVF, we were sure it'd happen but it died too. How many possibilities does she have when she gets older? Less than they already are." Joe questioned himself. Ben didn't say a thing.

You decided to get inside the kitchen, pretend like you heard nothing.

"Good morning sis." Ben smiled at you.

"Morning Ben." You neutrally said, faking what you thought before. You couldn't hide your anger at Joe's confession.

"Good morning my love." Joe attempted kissing you but you backed off. Both of them noticed your reaction and stared each other confused. "So um, are you okay?" He checked on you.

"I'm perfect." You lied. You're dying inside.

"Maybe I should get going." Ben felt the tense and had to leave.

"Yes you should. I'll take you to the door." You raised you eyebrow at him.

You were with Ben at the door and Joe eavesdropped without being noticeable.

"The next time you'll talk with Joe about my lack of fertility, I'll murder you." You threatened him.

"You know you can't do it sis." He joked.

"I can't, but I can cut your balls and you'll see who's the weak." You aggressively said to him and he didn't say a word.

"Damn sis, okay." He was defeated and left your home leaving you with your husband.

He came out of the kitchen guilty. But it wasn't his fault. You just wanted to throw your weight somewhere else.

"You heard us?" He silently asked.

"Are you joking? Of course I did. Is that what you talk about with your friends outside?" You angrily argued.

"No! He asked me! Besides he's your brother, he can know about it." he pointed out.

"I don't want him to know! I won't even let my mother know from now!" You attacked.

"Fine! But he's my best friend! I want to talk to someone! Why don't you let me do it? I never pressure you so stop pressuring me!" He shouted leaving you at a staring shock.

"I want you to leave right now Joe." You silently closed your eyes pointing at the door. "And tell everyone we can't have kids because I am infertile." You were so ironic.

"Where will I go? Are you kicking me out of my home?" He concede.

"Yes I do and don't come back. I'm angry." You walked inside the kitchen and he followed you.

"But you'll be over it by evening." He calmly said.

"No I fucking won't!" You threw him a glass and it accidentally fell down at his feet, with some pieces of glass hurting his arms.

"You arrogant bitch!" He yelled coming to your place menacingly. "You want to kill me now or what?" He raised your hand on you and covered yourself with your arms, afraid if he'd hit you. Flashbacks of domestic violence crossed your mind. Your alcoholic father hitting you in every chance he'd get.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry!" You sat down at the floor, crying loudly and hiding yourself, so he wouldn't harm your body but your arms.

After Joe finding out what he was doing he shockingly moved his arms and sat in front of you, getting you inside his arms. He started crying too.

"I am sorry y/n, I didn't mean to do it! I'm just so sad." He whimpered at your neck.

"Please Joe, divorce me. I can't keep making you unhappy." You cried at his chest, avoiding the eye contact.

"I can't do it. I love you, I'm literally attached to you, mentally, emotionally and physically. I just can't." He kissed you. "We'll find some way to fix it. We can do it, I know." He silently cried, hiding his voice cracks.

[gyldenglor]

Humans are Space Orcs - Sadness

They thought they had heard a human scream.

They thought they had seen a human express sadness.

They thought they had seen humans come together to support one of their pack.

They had experienced nothing.

The light in the ship was dim, indicating that many of the 50 crew were close to ending their sleep cycles.

It was silent in the usually busy halls of the relatively small ship. The ship was big enough to comfortably house the crew and equipment, but small enough to ensure that, outside of each crew members' individual quarters (a luxury that set this ship apart from most), privacy was quite a commodity.

Only a few crew members wandered throughout the ship, either performing the odd maintenance, stopping by the restroom, or perhaps simply taking an early morning stroll - a calm morning, for which many of the life forms were relieved.

With ten humans aboard that can alter their sleep cycles at will - and apparently, not at will - a calm morning was something to treasure indeed.

Any pretenses of calm were shattered, however, by something the likes of which the 40 non-human crew members had never heard - a wail of unwavering strength, one that threatened to deafen the more sensitive inhuman life forms.

Within moments, every single one of the crew were awake, puzzled and afraid.

The wail split through the air again - all life forms rushed from wherever they were to the small meeting room, fear evident on their varied features.

Even the stoic captain, a logical and precise specimen of the Kral, seemed nervous.

They all exchanged clueless stares, wondering who on their ship could possibly make such a noise.

The wail came again, and all the crew flinched - all except the humans.

The humans exchanged glances, and immediately took off, practically sprinting to the source of the cry. Immediately the non human crew began to panic.

"Was it a war cry!?" One demanded. "It sounded so…aggressive." Many of the others follow suit with their own worries as the captain struggled to maintain control.

One human, hearing the dissent, turned back to explain the scream.

"I think that was Sophie - she's REALLY upset," the anxious human explained. "It sounds like she might be hurt - Xraxis, come on, we may need you!"

Startled by the demand, but relieved that it's not a sign of aggression, the Erqal medical officer spread their insectoid wings, the rapid beats lifting their diminutive form up and propelling them forwards much faster than they could run, and at a speed that could match that of the humans' sprinting.

A handful of crew, including the captain, rushed to follow, concerned both that a fellow crew member may be injured, and that the ship may be damaged in some way.

When they finally arrived, what they saw was not at all what they expected. The human Sophie was on her knees, her eyes leaking excess water, her body shaking with heaving breaths and wails, but she seemed unharmed.

Oddly, she was holding something in her arms, but it was obscured from view by the other humans that had crowded around her, each of them seemingly mimicking her behavior, but to lesser degrees.

"Sophie - are you hurt?" Xlaxis immediately inquired, bringing up a holographic diagnostic display, tapping into the ships' myriad of medical scanners to quickly check the status of the heaving human.

"N-No," Sophie managed to choke out, burying her face into the thing she was holding, sobbing harder and harder with each passing second.

Xlaxis, the crew that had come to investigate, and the captain all hesitated to ask what, exactly, was wrong - they had never seen a human act this way, let alone humans surround another human and mimic them.

Suddenly, one of the humans stood, and sprinted right at the crew watching!

"Move - fucking move!" The human shouted. The crew assembled in the doorway were quick to comply, watching in abject horror as the human barely made it to the bathroom before violently regurgitating.

Klaxons sounded immediately, and some of the crew rushed to get full biohazard containment suits on - when humans did this, the horrifically acidic contents of their stomach could eat right through some of the less armored crew, and possibly even the ship itself!

Xlaxis moved to check on the human that had regurgitated, considering enforcing a quarantine, in case it was contagious. However, he was distracted by a glimpse of what Sophie was holding.

Now that the human had left the huddle, Xlaxis could clearly see that Sophie was holding the body of a deceased predator - something the humans called a "dog". The medical officer was familiar with this specimen - Sophie cohabitated with it in a terrifying display of human dominance.

Xlaxis rushed over. "Human, you can't be near a corpse! It could carry infection!" They reached out to take the beast away from her, but recoiled when the human absolutely SCREAMED at them.

Xlaxis stepped back, barely able to understand what the human was saying beyond the sheer volume of the exclamation. She hugged it closer, and stood, turning away from the huddle and seemingly… Talking to it?

One of the humans gave Xlaxis a terrible glare, one that led them to believe they would die within a moment.

One of the humans shoved the one glaring at Xlaxis - Xlaxis knew this one, his name was Peter - he was part of the engineering crew, and frequently came in with various inexplicable injuries. "Don't give him that look - he doesn't know what's going on." Peter stood and began gently talking to Sophie. The other human quickly apologized to Xlaxis.

After accepting the apology per human customs, Xlaxis walked over to hear what was being said. They needed to know what was going on - how else could they do their job as medical officer?

"Sophie, he's gone. And look, Xlaxis is right, you can't hold onto him like this - look, just, give him to me, okay?" Sophie violently wretched herself away from the other human. "It's okay, it's okay - I'm just gonna him on his bed, make him comfortable, put a blanket over him - see?"

All that could be seen of the dog now was the lump under the blanket, and a little bit of tail.

Weary of angering Sophie again, Xlaxis tugged on Peter's sleeve, and informed him that they should bring Sophie to the medical ward immediately, to check for infection from the body.

"Yeah - we need to get her out of here, and it'd be good for her to be alone for a bit." Peter wrapped an arm around Sophie. "Come on, let's get you to the medical bay, okay? You can lay down there and be alone for a bit - let's just let Spot be alone for a bit, okay?"

Peter silently excused himself past the aliens in the doorway. Xlaxis spread his wings again, quickly following after the humans, his tail lightly dragging on the floor.

The other humans slowly filed out, closing the door behind them to ensure the body remained undisturbed. A member of the biohazard team that had just finished cleaning the stomach acid protested when he heard what was in there.

"Look, I know, it's a biohazard - we can put him in the morgue, okay? But we can't just dispose of him."

Confused, but relieved that they could remove the hazard from the area, they quickly assisted the human with moving the corpse to the morgue of the ship - a small room, betraying the hope of the designers that it would remain a safe ship.

When Sophie, Peter, and Xlaxis arrived in the medical ward, Peter gave Sophie some water and a blanket, then calmly explained everything to Xlaxis.

"That thing was a...pet?" Xlaxis asked in hushed tones, attempting to avoid offending Sophie.

"Yeah, and she loved him - a whole lot." Tears glistened in Peter's eyes, and his lips began to quiver. "I loved him, too - he was a good boy."

With that, Peter, who had tried so hard to keep it together for the sake of his friends and the crew, started to break down, immediately hugging Sophie as they cried together. Xlaxis sat there, dumbfounded by the turn of events.

After a moment, Xlaxis felt that they had nothing to offer, so they left - and immediately went to their quarters to update the Human Guide.

------------

Entry #2,532,127

Author - Xlaxis

Race - Erqal

Chief Medical Officer serving under Captain Ky'Veen

Subject: Pack Bonding and Sadness

BEGIN REPORT

Firstly, it turns out humans cohabitate with "dogs" out of desire to do so for happiness, not to display dominance due to being able to contain a vicious predator. Clearly, it is another instance if their bizarre "pack bonding".

Furthermore, when humans pack bond with something, this emotional and illogical bond does not stop at death. In fact, one can truly observe its strength in death.

A human crew member aboard my ship had one of these dogs as a companion. It died today, and the human was screaming as if she, herself, had been killed.

All the other humans gathered immediately, and even though some of them did not have much of a connection to the animal, they all shared in the sadness.

I don't believe sadness is accurate. This was something… More. Something… Horrible. I wish to never experience the profound depths of misery my crew mate experienced today.

Despite the animal being deceased, the human treated it with such reverence and care, so much so that one would think it could die again if she weren't careful.

Truly, pack bonding is an amazing phenomena - and if a human pack bonds with you, you can be rest assured that they will, in fact, remain loyal to you beyond your death - and at this rate, possibly even their own.

END REPORT

Thank you so much for reading! This is loosely based upon my own experience, in which I found my own dog of seventeen years passed away while home on my own.

It really is an absolutely horrible experience, and I realized after reading a lot of the humans are space orcs stories that aliens would be very, very confused by the behavior - after all, everything stops with death, so surely pack bonding must as well?

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Later than the Jesse convo, so drunker too, but still in the clerb] Jac: Total success, yeah? 🎉🍾💃 Savannah: 🙌 Jac: Are you having a good time? Savannah: YES! Savannah: I'm so glad everyone is nice Jac: it is such a relief Jac: so not like high school Savannah: ^^ we can stop waiting for the lives we want now Jac: yeah Jac: it's started Jac: and nothing is in our way now Jac: or no one Savannah: thank god Jac: You look beautiful Savannah: I was thinking maybe it's too much Savannah: if Sienna likes it Jac: 😂 Jac: You could pull off anything Jac: but I like it too Savannah: it's for you Savannah: I promised 💗 🌷 🌺 🌸 💗 Jac: You did Jac: my own uni wardrobe is lacking Jac: next time Savannah: it's REALLY not Savannah: you look perfect Jac: am I still sleeping over? Savannah: of course Savannah: unless you don't want to Jac: I do Jac: just checking  😊 Savannah: I know I stole ALL the blankets but I'm so sorry & I so won't do it again if you stay Jac: That's not what it is Savannah: do NOT use this moment to tell me that I talk in my sleep because I will die Jac: you're a total 👸🏾 in sleep too, don't worry Savannah: you're an 👼🏻 always Jac: do you have a drink? Savannah: Jordan was supposed to be getting me one but it's been forever Jac: I'll find him Jac: try to Savannah: We'll just get our own, I don't need a man Jac: 👏 Savannah: 🥂 Savannah: find me ✨ Jac: Might get distracted by the disco ball Savannah: you're supposed to only have 👀 for me Savannah: SO mean Jac: You know I do Savannah: 🥰 Jac: Do you think any of the lads are cute? Savannah: oh my god! That means you do! Savannah: who do you like? Jac: no it doesn't Savannah: it does, J Jac: I'd tell you if it did Savannah: I'd tell you if I thought anyone was cute Savannah: & them Jac: True Jac: just checking Savannah: I think Maddie is BEYOND cute Savannah: love that outfit Jac: She seems fun too Savannah: [goes to dance with whoever this girl is] Savannah: okay, she's really fun Jac: 👍 Savannah: come dance with us Jac: one sec Jac: [going outside or wherever] Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Jac: I'll be right back Jac: got to talk to Dale Savannah: you've got to dance with me Jac: [gotta be at least 5 minutes before you do, have some resolve] Savannah: [excuse us maddie there's a moment about to happen here] Jac: [casually politely blocking you out here no offense] Savannah: [gotta be done soz] Savannah: [when they're both hot so you know lads who aren't even from their course gonna get involved] Jac: [at least you can swerve them more freely in a sassy manner] Savannah: [and we can sacrifice maddie to one that's she's vaguely into so thanks] Jac: [go get yours gal] Savannah: [leave them to their shameless gay vibe] Jac: [try to get out your head gal you can do it] Savannah: [we all know she's accidentally making this so ridiculous difficult for you rn] Jac: [we're not any more sorted than we were lbr ladies] Savannah: [tea] Jac: [so productive] Savannah: [making you come to the toilets with her so she can fix her makeup/admire herself because of course] Jac: [just admiring her too tbh] Savannah: [likewise because now is the time for a shameless hair touch like lemme fix that for you and all the ensuing compliments because Savannah is me] Jac: [😳😳😳😳] Savannah: [when she's inherited her father's complexion so obvs the bae sees but she thinks it's adorable 'you feel things so deeply, I love that about you'] Jac: ['one of us should appreciate it, like' 🙄 at self] Savannah: ['of course I appreciate you, you've always been everything to me' be gayer please gal] Jac: ['almost everything' 'cos you drunk enough that that can slip but then you nudge her like 😏 lol lol total bants] Savannah: [when that hurts your heart so much it'd be obvious on your face for a split second at least before you cover it with your own 🙄 at self like I can't believe I like boys ugh] Jac: [reflectively putting your hand on her shoulder like no it's okay, I'm sorry and covering that by finally being like 'at least you don't like Jordan] Savannah: [taking that hand and positioning her arm so you can look at her tattoo that matches yours like you're relieved she still has it, also without thinking about it but then being like oh shit so you just have to say 'I like being single' even though she did not ask and it's not true] Jac: [when we know you better than that, babe so the really? is on our face v hard but we not being judgy with it and we show that by touching her tattoo lightly] Savannah: [the 'rude' is on her face but playfully we're not actually offended but we shrug because she does mean that she doesn't wanna date another Milo for so many reasons, cos that was a time in both their lives we know] Jac: ['he's probably having such a shit time' in a comforting forget him way, 'cos of course you know what she think of, at least who] Savannah: [she's so not above being buzzing at the prospect/hoping he is so such a happy face again] Jac: [lols] Savannah: [putting your lipgloss or whatever it is on her cos it's nothing too dramatic where she'd be like no and we can pretend that's why you're shamelessly staring at her cos that idea struck you to do a makeover moment and not cos you're gay] Jac: [not at all thinking about the other way you coulda put that on her, nah, doing a kissy face like tah] Savannah: [tucking her hair behind her ear/playing with it like you're so concerned it could get stuck to this gloss okay] Jac: [having to yeah HAVING to take her hand to get her out 'cos bathrooms in clerbs are always packed like come on] Savannah: [she's clearly about it] Jac: [go dance some more] Savannah: [that's what we are here for, a chance to be gay af without either of us freaking out] Jac: [mhmm, live and let live ladies] Savannah: [it's like expected of straight girls at this point so] Jac: [we all hoe dance at the clerb] Savannah: [god bless, come through with that drink jordan, where you been?] Jac: [who are you where are you so many questions also making him go get you one too shamelessly like thaaaanks] Savannah: [when you a bad bitch like your mother] Jac: [don't be making enemies though gal] Savannah: [someone should make an actual move on either of them tonight but I can't decide which way round I want it] Jac: [hmm, there's a case for either way isn't there] Savannah: [because it could be a girl in Jac's case cos don't need an A+ gaydar to be knowing which would be awkward and freak her out but obviously it could be a boy too which would #confirm Sav thinking she's not gay but obviously it'd hurt her heart if some boy or girl is all over Sav and she thinks she's into it so] Jac: [i say let it be a girl and jac for the freakout we can probably use that the most] Savannah: [it has the henchest legs in terms of a idea I agree] Jac: [hoot] Savannah: [how do you want it to happen like are they still dancing or what's the craic] Jac: [I think they go back to their tables to be social a bit and this girl pops off] Savannah: [love that, what type of lesbian are you gal, what would be the most awkward? butch maybe] Jac: [yes like undeniably so lol] Savannah: [I have such a mental image rn] Jac: [a fuckboy who is probably gonna give feminist rants in your lectures, marlene hello lol] Savannah: [her more butch cousin because k-stew is still too soft] Jac: [ruby rose] Savannah: [mhmm] Jac: [just shooketh like how did you know #exposed over here] Savannah: [meanwhile your bae is oblivious talking to whoever else] Jac: [when a girl has never and you can't outright run or anything 'cos these your classmates] Savannah: [like you could run gal but you gotta be subtle about it you can't just be like I need a piss RN cos then she might think you wanna hook up in the bathroom lol] Jac: [oh no no, keeping this convo dry sweaty] Savannah: [at least you can always say you're not out if she won't take the hint because it's against gay law to out someone so] Jac: [bye ruby rose] Savannah: [you can run now if you want gal] Jac: [if she's the kind that can be chill enough to be friendly and not totally in your face, you should stay, 'cos trying here for that new rep] Savannah: [#growth] Jac: [don't wanna be alone again at any cost] Savannah: [so sad and so true] Savannah: I'm doing my best to be a social 🦋 but I miss you Jac.: Come and save me then Savannah: [does but does the thing where they end up sharing a chair like oh hey, you're lowkey on her lap gal neither of you are smol enough for this] Jac.: [when you can fully get into the bit 'cos you are just tryna let this girl know you're not interested, sure babe, like Sav is touchy-feely anyway but she'd be less so naturally but playing with her hair rn] Savannah: [😳 but her skin tone is not giving her away so we're fine] Jac.: [needlessly whispering/loud whispering 'cos clerb in her ear instead of tryna shout to the whole group 'cos we sending a message here ok] Savannah: [we know she doesn't need any encouragement to join in with that because that's shamelessly a vibe for them anyway like soz Isabelle] Jac.: [we've not changed that hard and have no intention to really lmao and can't fault you] Savannah: [more dancing like you've just gotta cos THIS SONG but we know why really] Jac.: [we know the vibe] Savannah: [just dancing til you're actually knackered and do need to sit back down for a bit] Jac.: [is there anything else we wanna/do we wanna let anything go down/however small it might seem] Savannah: [the temptation to make it even gayer is so real but it's like the L bomb dilemma of like is now the right time/do we wanna prolong the agony longer but I feel like something needs to happen] Jac.: [this is day TWO, freshers is intense by default everyone thinks they're gonna be friends forever, and the way most people do it you're like drunk the whole week, so I feel like something could reasonably happen/should, even if we then take however many paces back] Savannah: [you gotta do it Savannah it's your turn to put yourself out there gal] Jac.: [we can all pretend we don't remember lol #doitdoit Savannah: [I just can't decide if I want it to happen at the club or when they're alone having their sleepover moment cos pros and cons to both] Jac.: [like the tension is high in both scenarios but maybe have enough wherewithal to not let your classmates 👀 'cos they so close as is people will be like OH YOU A COUPLE, although, we COULD do that if we wanted, hmm] Savannah: [Savannah just like yes she's the love of my life, Jac like I AM SO CONFUSED] Savannah: [but in all seriousness I am leaning towards the sleepover because if they're alone and then Savannah is like well that didn't happen, Jac's just like did it happen though, like am I actually losing my mind/dreaming really vividly here like] Jac.: [I vibe, you can go harder but deny as hard] Savannah: [exactly because you know they're gonna go really hard this has been such a long time coming] Jac.: [mhmm] Savannah: [plus I love the cinematic visual of them having no makeup or sassy outfits on when this happens like you're really making yourselves vulnerable here aren't you gals] Jac.: [and in a single bed, of course, Jac having literally not slept in hers, like] Savannah: [she hasn't yet, that actually kills me] Jac.: [y'all could've shared if you been knew at this rate lmao] Savannah: [I also like the idea that they don't stop because they get interrupted or any of the things we normally throw at people but because Savannah actually says that she wants to/isn't ready to go any further than this because they do have good communication and also it shows that like she did wanna do what actually happened even if she does deny it later] Jac.: [That was literally the vibe I had too so same page] Savannah: [yet more vulnerability cos you have to be like can we stop but you're not scared to] Jac.: [and at least that's some clarity so Jac is going to be the opposite of mad about it, obvs] Savannah: [y'all had and lbr still have so much trust that it just makes sense] Jac.: [the last thing you want/wanted was to ruin the friendship that's the whole mood we're not being reckless out here] Savannah: [snuggle and be soft in that small bed ladies] Jac.: [live your best lives, we'll worry about it tomorrow] Savannah: [unrelated but cos I just looked up their heights I 100% vote that Sav was as tall/taller than her last boyfriend and he was annoyed about it because he is not Jimothy] Jac.: [you gotta be confident to own that so yes 100% no heels for you gal] Savannah: [Ty can be taller cos basketball boy so you could've worn them then #thegoldenage] Savannah: [okay so I'll write what we said here for future ref 1. Jac wakes up and her bae is gone so she's freaking out thinking that Sav is for obvious reasons but 2. Sav has only gone to get coffee or tea or whatever because that bitch and that gay so she comes back with breakfast and Jac's gone so she's like ??] Savannah: Where did you go? Jac.: I thought you wanted me to be gone Savannah: Oh boo no! It was supposed to be a nice surprise Jac.: Oh Jac.: well Jac.: that's embarrassing then Savannah: I can just bring the 🥐 to you Savannah: the ☕️ will probably get cold so I will be drinking it on the way, sorry Jac.: I'm sorry, that was weird Jac.: got out of the practice of this whole friend thing, clearly Jac.: that sounds good, you can see the inside of my dorm, I definitely owe you by this point Savannah: You don't even need to be sorry, I literally should have woken you to say I'd be right back but you looked SO adorable Savannah: though I'm not sure how I didn't already by like making my secret escape Jac.: but it was a good surprise Jac.: feel like a total 🥳💩 now Jac.: I'll use my time to ponder how to make it up to you Savannah: I can think of another one, it's fine Savannah: to be honest the ☕️ isn't that good anyway Savannah: [spoiler alert it is good and she's lying to make her feel less bad lol] Jac.: I do need caffeine though...what state do you think the kitchen will be in 🤔 Savannah: I love you but I don't think I can go in there for you Jac.: 😂 Jac.: I won't penalize you for being productive and getting out of bed to forage Jac.: that would be beyond rude Jac.: I'm gonna buy a kettle for my room, definitely Savannah: Literally any excuse to go shopping again is endorsed Jac.: I'm down Jac.: these rooms are so old-fashioned by default, there's no such thing as over decorating, it's a decent challenge Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I'm so upset we aren't roommates Jac.: Nat is in David Russell and it's so clean and modern looking in comparison inside Jac.: AND they've got doubles Jac.: but that's the price we pay for the more traditional experience again Jac.: I know, if only we HAD known Jac.: next year, we can share Savannah: I get the appeal but I personally do NOT want to be reminded of home Jac.: I feel you, plus that's like where EVERYONE lives, social 🦋 or otherwise, I want my peace and quiet sometimes Savannah: A bigger bed would be AMAZING though, I can't sleep in the curled up in the foetal position every night of my life Jac.: I won't be there taking up space every night, it'll probably feel doable then Savannah: Baby, I hate to do it like this but you're only average height Jac.: 😂 Jac.: oh, I'm sorry, it's those extra FOUR inches that make all the difference Jac.: what about Dom, he's gotta be like 6'5, spare a thought for him fully hanging off the end, like Savannah: Obviously they do Savannah: but yes, at least I'm not planning to have a sleepover with Dom any time soon, I'm sure he's BEYOND relieved Jac.: No one could be relieved about that Jac.: you're such a thoughtful host Savannah: if we weren't literally in Scotland I'd almost believe the 🌞 came out then Savannah: but it's just you warming my heart Savannah: being the sweetest ever 💛 Jac.: Even if we DON'T wanna be reminded of home, the culture shock of constant 🌞 would be too much Jac.: you deserve 🍧🍨🍦🍰🎂🍭🍬🍫🍩🍪🍯 Savannah: Well, I'd acclimatise for you, obviously Savannah: & develop a sweet tooth Jac.: You're perfect how you are Savannah: I'd look even more perfect with a tan though Jac.: I'd look even more like my mother Jac.: which is arguably the same thing but Savannah: & not a bad thing Savannah: Your mum is so pretty Jac.: I know Savannah: your whole family is a different level, honestly Jac.: 🎁 and a curse, I guess Savannah: like the Cullens if any of them were actually cast hot in the film Jac.: 😂 Jac.: how hard can it be to find perfect clone-looking actors, really Savannah: 😄 Savannah: thanks for not being a vampire, even if we are in the perfect ☁️ 🌧 climate Jac.: as far as you know Jac.: might only wear my fangs on weekends Savannah: excuse me, I know all your secrets Jac.: Perhaps Jac.: 😏 Savannah: 🥺 Jac.: Awh, baby Jac.: 'course you do Savannah: I can't believe you're making me walk right now 🥱 Savannah: can we PLEASE go back to bed Jac.: we should, if we're hitting sinners tonight Jac.: apparently it's carnage Jac.: sports lads, and girls, are always mental Savannah: I don't think I'm going to that Jac.: Not your scene? Jac.: A night off isn't a terrible idea, even if you have to keep that 🤫 from some of our more... enthusiastic classmates Savannah: Even if I didn't desperately need to apply a hair & face mask, I need the reminders of jock types less, I did my time Jac.: How true Jac.: Somehow Tyler would've been more annoying if he also had a brain that wasn't 🏀 Savannah: Don't be mean, he was really not that annoying for a boy Jac.: That's what I'm saying Jac.: his lack of opinions was welcome Savannah: are you going? Jac.: I was gonna Jac.: but I'm not fully sold either way Savannah: oh, so you want me to convince you to stay with me Savannah: okay Jac.: My hair is obviously looking SO glorious without the mask so Jac.: yeah 😉 Savannah: I told you, I'll think of another surprise Savannah: something to do that's more worthy of us Jac.: I believe in you Jac.: ☕🥐 and the rest Savannah: I won't let you down, baby Jac.: Never have Savannah: Well, once Jac.: I'd let you down first Savannah: it's no excuse though Jac.: That's well in the past Jac.: now we have a future Jac.: you've just got the morning after blues Jac.: you need to come back to bed Savannah: you're right Savannah: [show up gal cos it only takes like 12 minutes] Jac.: [has definitely cleaned up this kitchen so they can sit up the table and have their breakfast, also put a tea on 'cos duh] Savannah: [when you can blame how happy you are to see her on the fact you've had 2 caffeinated beverages] Jac.: [we know you getting a big hug 'cos feels so stupid/so relieved that what you thought had happened hasn't] Savannah: [casually dying any time she's affectionate with you because not a touchy feely bitch like you are and of course that's the only reason okay bye] Jac.: [have your gay breakfast gals] Savannah: [we chatting about the night but so casually avoiding what happened at the end like] Jac.: [lol this is all so fine and dandy] Savannah: [truly] Jac.: [if you're both committing to it, it'll work for now ladies] Savannah: [and you clearly both are for your own reasons] Jac.: [mhmm] Savannah: [case in point just going back to bed like that's fine] Jac.: [lmao and we all know you ain't going out tonight girl] Savannah: [we all know you're going on a date] Jac.: [yes we'll have to find somewhere appropriate] Savannah: [yeah gotta be aesthetic] Savannah: [we can skip to that if you want cos we also know when you wake up you just living that pampering life] Jac.: [makes sense to me] Savannah: [okay so picnic is first is there anything we wanna ref happening during that other than them being happy nerds? like obvs you're gonna have to snuggle for warmth that's a given] Jac.: [clearly someone has taken that pic for them 'cos her face so I like to think some extra hoe was like OMG YOU'RE SO CUTE lemme] Savannah: [100% an american] Jac.: [lmao absolutely] Savannah: [thinking they a couple like you're not ready for that convo random gal] Jac.: [don't need to go into it with you, they should also do some gardening, those nerds] Savannah: [oh shit yes obviously you have to start a garden together] Jac.: [even if they just get rid of the dead stuff that's been left and prep it for spring, we'll look up the situ of what to plant 'cos when they go to the botanical gardens etc they can buy things and get inspo] Savannah: [I love that for you ladies] Jac.: [we know the vibe, it's gonna be cute af, nothing is gonna be said/done 'til you go out and get some alcohol] Savannah: [yeah hence I'm trying to find an aesthetic restaurant for you to get on the wine lol] Savannah: [okay gotta hit up the balgove larder flower shed and farm shop for supplies because aesthetic af and they have an insta we can steal from even if we don't eat there] Savannah: [I think the rav looks v aesthetic and they have cocktails as well as a wine list so] Jac.: [sorted, babey] Savannah: [okay so obvs we are gonna try and do posts but is there anything you wanna ref here as happening/do when they are drunk enough] Jac.: [we could talk when we get back, like just do dialogue and actions] Savannah: [I think that's a good idea, who's dorm are we saying?] Jac.: [probably Jac's] Savannah: [has kinda been your base for the day so that makes sense]

[theangrypokemaniac]

@its-whitetomorrow

I appreciate that you take the time out of your day to read my witterings, and respond to them in detail, but I'm somewhat intellectually limited and it takes a while to write an answer.

The final one is a bit of a problem. The original post is long, your bit is long, and my addition is probably twice both put together.

Did you know Tumblr has a limit: no more than two hundred and fifty text blocks per post? I discovered this from experience, unsurprisingly.

I think the only solution is to split it across several posts.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I suppose I should.

I started this blog last May, to relieve the boredom of my main embarrassment, whose only likes (all three of them) were from porn bots.

It wasn't even meant to be about Pokémon. I'd left the fandom years previously. It was odds and ends, but I happened to find a few silly screen shots so wrote a couple of joke remarks, not expecting a ripple of interest.

Within a couple of hours I got more notes than t'other's managed even to this day. I had the idea this was where I was more at home, so I started taking it seriously.

My pseudonym was just daft thing I'd made up previously, to reflect that, whilst still in love with old days, I'm not exactly pleased with how it's gone.

I thought it might stand out as memorable, plus I like acronyms, so it affords me the opportunity to call myself 'T.A.P.'

In the early days the focus was on the 'maniac' aspect. Anger as a description didn't fit at all. The farther back you go, the more stupid and clownish it gets. It's not been like this all the way through!

Seriously, it used to be an entertainment blog, designed to make people laugh. It's all ages: no swearing, no porn, nothing to put anyone off.

(This post under discussion contains the only profanity I've ever deployed. I thought saving it up might add some oomph.)

I mean it, it's was all light-hearted ridicule. Every so often, there would be a slightly cutting remark, but mild compared to now.

Then, last September, someone I spoke to regularly, who assured me we were friends, suddenly cut off all contact.

At first I wasn't aware of it, but by October it became too glaring a silence to ignore.

I thought rifts started because of massive disagreements, but as far as I remembered our last exchange ended normally.

I found out by accident that the reason for it was because I am repugnant and morally inferior and so swollen with my own ego that the existence of others doesn't register. Instead they are but soulless droids built to worship the great T.A.P. mollusc.

Well that was news to me. I had no idea I came across like that. As far as I knew, I was on my best behaviour when we interacted.

I was polite. I tried to be ingratiate myself. I kept talk to the fandom. I didn't pry. I attempted humour when the opportunity arose.

I thought I'd done all I could to be liked, but apparently I hadn't. It was a revolting experience for them, for all of saying they loved me and I was 'honey'.

It really, really, really got to me, and the feeling hasn't abated, if anything it's worse.

As I said, I don't know what I did wrong, and because I don't, I can't mend my ways. If I am this repellant waste of flesh I'd like to change, but if I'm not told my offence, what am I meant to do?

If what I thought was the best I could be wasn't good enough, and instead was so sickening I don't deserve their presence, then I have no idea how to interact with people.

Maybe every time I respond to someone, thinking I'm at worst, civil, is really grotesque conceit, because my arrogance is so extreme I'm not even aware it's there. In my head it sounds normal.

It'd be too easy to scoff that they were the one with the problem, but, given all the arguments that happen in life, it can't always be someone else's fault. It's got to be you at least once.

They obviously think they were justified, so who's to say they weren't?

You may say not to let it worry me, that I should just get over it, and you'd be totally right. Being bothered makes me feel pathetic and petty on top of the rest, but this is me you're talking to, not a sane person. Self-hatred is more instinctive to me than breathing.

I always dwell on the negative. If one hundred people were assembled, ninety-nine of whom declared me the most wonderful being ever to live, and one remarked I wasn't all that special, it's him I'd remember. 

It's called ghosting because that's what happens. There comes a moment when you accept that, no, it's over, rejected again, and it's like realising I'd died, and had been gone for a while.

Except I hadn't noticed the process, so I was always dead in a way, and they spoke to the silvery silhouette left behind, until that too dispersed into untraceable nothingness. Again,  the silence is my fault for dying, not theirs.

I feel there's no point in messaging anyone, because I'll only disgust them too. Some blogs encourage contact, and when I see it I always think:

Yeah, but they don't mean YOU.

If it's another person I already spoke to, I can't shut up. I bombard them with text in the hope they know I don't think they're a menial droid. Every one I immediately regret, and wish I could take back, because that will irritate them until I'm just a sad, nagging past.

The Ghost-Maker used to reblog 99% of my work. This dropped to nothing overnight, so not only am I worthless, but so is everything I do.

Posts G.M. didn't like got 0-5 notes. Ones they did had 20+. Many a time, it took their reblog for anyone else to notice.

It was like others used that blog as a filter to pull the fool's gold from the murk of this one. Once their favour evaporated, so did a lot of the goodwill from elsewhere, so it's was as if Tumblr agreed I was scum.

Saying that above just shows they were right, because it takes one smug bastard to believe their existence registers with anyone else.

Please don't think I'm demanding likes, that my stuff deserves them, although as I'm arrogant I am. It's just that 99% to 0% is a bit of a fall.

Up til then, I held back much of what I thought about the current state of the anime, as they liked it, but now I have no reason to stop.

If I'm to be accused of all these vices I might as well have them. I'm dead, so who cares what I say? No one listens to a ghost.

It's not that I'm unconcerned if I upset anyone, it's just the truth that I don't matter enough for what I write to be valued enough to offend.

As a ghost, I think of this blog as invisible. It's there, but not really, so how can anyone mind?

Incidentally, the first week I was here I got blocked by someone who hates all fans from the Nineties. I don't care about that, as they sound like a cretin, and I'd have to be defective to gain their approval.

I just want to say I find that moronic. I don't hate new fans at all. I wouldn't block someone because we disagreed.

Blocking denies people access to your blog, stating they don't deserve your ART. That's arrogant to me.

Blocker likes Ghost-Maker, but...

Ever since around October, I've progressively become angrier and angrier. Whenever I'm here or Pokémon enters my head, it just reminds that I'm pond slime, about the most crude, malformed half-life freak you can envision.

I don't like being here anymore. I keep intending to leave, the site and the fandom, and set fire to it all before I go, wipe away the slug trail to spare people's stomachs.

I kept quiet until now, but holding it in just made it more intense. If I may describe myself in ridiculously flattering terms, I feel like a shaken champagne bottle, but the cork is welded in, so the only option is for the glass to shatter.

If anyone's reading this, wondering where the fun went, well this is why I flipped. The red mist won't clear. I can't see beyond it.

I won't name Ghost-Maker, because I don't want to start anything, plus most will take their side. They may see this as they still rifle round these parts occasionally for posts that aren't mine.

Well done, Ghostie. You're the lucky one. We'll never meet and you haven't seen me. Pity the poor sods I've encountered. There must be vomit trails across the land provoked by my vile condition. I wasn't aware of this until you let me in on the secret.

There's an English television presenter called Caroline Flack. She killed herself yesterday and everyone loved her. I feel guilty that I'm alive and she's not.