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kyliafanfiction · 27 days ago

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Worm Vs Worm Fanfic: An Essay

You can't really judge a fanfic in comparison to the original in a total sense, because fanfic, by it's very nature, only can exist because of the original. Even the worst original stuff, like Twilight or 50 Shades or stuff that's even worse than those (I have heard of them) can't really have fanfiction that is 'better' than it, in a total sense.

I have made no bones here or on my worm liveread sideblog (@got-into-worm-by-mistake) that a contributing part of why I am still reading Worm, 25 arcs in, despite having many issues with it, is my desire to write fanfic for it. It's not the only reason I'm still reading it - I'm not that sort of masochist, fanfic alone would not make me read a thing I otherwise hated - but it is a factor. I also have and will continue to defend a lot of the sorts of trends in Worm fanfic that a lot of people in the Worm fandom (fic-reading and otherwise) attack, in part because I've been around too many fandom blocks to share the underlying opinions that inform their views on those issues.

(My belief that for a lot of the people with the least constructive opinions on Worm Fanfic, Worm is the only media for which they have ever really engaged in fanfic with remains hard to verify, but would explain a lot of it)

Some people have said that Worm is 'saved' or 'salvaged' by the fanfic, and some people have straight up said that there is fanfic that is better than Worm. While I understand the sentiment of the former, and it is somewhat true, in a sense, that for certain people the primary value or draw of worm is the fanfiction it produces (which is not a uniquely Worm phenomenon). as I have noted, I can't really agree with the latter.

What I can say is that it is possible to compare the original work (Worm, in this case) to various fanfics in individual categories. For instance, is there fanfic that is better written than the original? In the case of many fandoms, including Worm, that's true. Worm is a well written piece, but I don't think anyone could say Worm is the most technically skilled piece of writing in the world. It's got a lot of unevenness and issues here and there, nothing that kills the work, but they're there.

A lot of that can be laid at the feet of Wildbow's insane pace of writing that he set for himself. One assumes he'd have caught some of those issues (and he has, on various minor edits since then) had he moved at a slower pace.

Is there fanfic that is more consistent or internally coherent than Worm? Well, that starts to get a touch subjective, but again, I think that's true as well. And again, much of that can be laid at the feet of Wildbow's pace. I have nothing but admiration for Wildbow's pace of writing - I don't know if he maintained an active job while writing Worm, but even if he didn't his pace of writing is genuinely batshit, in the best way possible. But it does mean that the need to churn out words quickly is gonna leave issues. Wildbow has presumably always been aware of this as the original plan was to have an improved, finalized version of Worm after it was done. That that is unlikely to happen now is a different discussion.

These more consistent/coherent fics also benefit from the fact that Wildbow did a lot of the work in building the universe and rules and characters with which they're playing, which means they have a much easier time maintaining said consistency and internal coherence.

Now is there fanfic that is more enjoyable than the original (What I think a lot of people really mean when they say 'better')? Well, yes, for me at least, but that is an intensely subjective question. Fanfic, by it's nature, can often be tailored to target audiences better than the original work, even more so than Worm, which was very tailored to it's target audience... whatever that target audience was (More on that when I write my 'I've Finished Worm, Let's Reflect' thing)

But 'enjoyable' is a subjective thing that relies on so many moving parts that it can't really be used as a metric for 'better' in any meaningful sense.

Once I've finished Worm, I cannot see myself ever finding a desire to re-read it, from the start all the way to the end. Leaving aside the length, I just didn't enjoy it enough to do that. There are, however, numerous fanfics that I have reread multiple times and will reread still more times. There are fanfics that approach things in ways I find more personally interesting than Worm.

I will of course consult the text of Worm at various points to check specific details, or read certain scenes that I especially enjoyed (there are some)

There are shows that I found, like Worm, intensely compelling, that no amount of money (well, I mean, short of hundreds of thousands of dollars, I suppose, let's be realistic here) would make me want to watch again from start to finish. The Vampire Diaries, for instance

Now, Worm has been incredibly successful, like TVD, of creating characters that I find intensely compelling (and in fairness, Worm is infinitely better written than TVD, which was largely saved by actors too talented for such a show) and that don't leave my mind very easily. And it's definitely the characters and their relationship to each other the world around them that is the main draw for me in Worm, both in the original text and the fanfic. Themes, narratives, power interactions, worldbuilding, commentary on Superhero media etc - not the main draw for me.

(This is not atypical, as characters, their interactions and how they fit into the world around them is almost always the level at which I enjoy engaging with media the most)

So for me personally, there is a lot of Worm fanfic that does things I find more interesting with the characters, or does things I find more emotionally or narratively satisfying with those characters, etc, than Worm itself (or the Sequel that shall only be referenced this one time here). So for me, the fanfic is definitely a lot more what I'm interested in and going for. And that is not especially likely to change.

Worm is never going to rise above the level of 'good' for me - Wildbow's writing at it's best has a certain flat, workman like quality that does it's job very well, but can only be so good, too many of the narrative choices go over like lead balloons for me, and there's a lot of individual concepts and elements of the story that just aren't for me. But it is objectively well written, and has those intensely compelling characters, and I stand in awe of the total achievement that Wildbow... achieved when he wrote and completed Worm. It's really impressive, and it's quite good.

But equally, it's not 'great' or 'amazing' or 'perfect'. Some of that may be because I'm just not the right audience for it (there is a point where judging quality of something when you're the wrong audience is like asking me to judge the best vegetarian sausage. I may say which one I find most enjoyable to eat, but I'm not really the person they're selling Veggie sausage to. Worm is not the equivalent of Vegetarian sausage, but you grasp my point)

But I wouldn't call the fanfic as a whole or any individual fic 'better' than Worm in a total sense, because it's a useless discussion, as all fanfic exists in conversation with Worm and draws upon Worm.

BUT - and here we get to the reason I'm making this long-ass essay, I think it's just as useless to call Worm 'better' than the fanfic. Comparing the OG work and the fanfiction is almost always an exercise in futility.

Again, Worm may be better written, more coherent, more consistent, more enjoyable, etc, than a lot of fanfics, but the fanfic it's it's own category, and comparing it or any single fic to the OG text in a total sense is pointless thing to do that achieves very little.

Because ultimately, fanfiction is it's own genre, or even it's own medium of work entirely seperate from the OG work, whatever that work is. Comparing a fanfic and the original work is closer to comparing a book and a review of said book than it is comparing two separate books.

Because fanfic exists in conversation with and engagement with the original. Not all fanfic is written from a place of 'the original is bad, I'm gonna write it better', and that is an incredibly stupid way to look at fanfic. Just flat out stupid.

Now, some fanfics engage with the original work on fairly shallow levels, or don't engage with the work on the levels a given person may be most interested in, but they are engaging with it. (And I would argue the oft-derided altpower/powerscaling/escalation-y Worm fics are often engaging with Worm on a somewhat deeper level than many of the critics want to accept).

They may also say something about the work or elements of the work that you don't agree with, but again, that's one factor in why comparing the original work and the fanfic is pointless. Is some fanfiction just straight up bad? Badly written, lazily characterized, poorly researched, saying nothing nothing new, interesting or even useful? Of course, obviously, but that's just Sturgeon's Law. The barrier to entry for fanfic is lower, so a lot more gets written. This applies as much to Worm fanfic as any other fandom.

But fanfiction and original works fill entirely different niches, and fill entirely different roles in someone's media diet. Not everyone has an appetite for fanfic, and I definitely think there are some people in the Worm fandom that just don't have that appetite and don't realize it. It is, in essence, the same thing as being asked to judge the best vegetarian sausage when you yourself are not a vegetarian.

What I get from reading Worm (and again, I do get things that I enjoy) and what I get from reading Worm fanfiction are quite distinct and I could not, ultimately, have the latter without the former. Comparing the two is ultimately, pointless and silly, and both the fanfic-writers that don't like Worm, and the Worm-likers that don't tend to like the fanfic, should both stop doing it.

You just can't compare the original work and the fanfic, because that's just not how it works.

#Worm #Wormblr #Worm Wildbow #Worm Parahumans #Parahumans #Musings #Kylia Walks On Thin Ice #Conceptually Adjacent To That Tag Anyway #Just Little Fanfiction Things #Just Little Fandom Things

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bigskydreaming · 5 months ago

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So, been awhile! Apologies for that - took a step back from most social media sites for a few months because the accumulated stresses and everpresent urgency to most things I've been dealing with for the past five plus years finally caught up with me and I kinda just....crashed, and needed some time to get my head on straight. Or whatever the non-obvious-pun version of that might be for a Known Bisexual. Everything was getting to be too constantly 'stop and go' for me, if that makes sense.....like I'd TRY to be more present on here, TRY to work on things like my patreon and fic and meta and stuff like that because I've really wanted to get back to creating actual stuff that people enjoy instead of being like My Issues: The Latest Installment and the like, but then something else would crop up and kill my momentum before it even really got going and I'd have to duck away yet again, and rinse and repeat.

HENCE! I took a more dedicated, extended leave to try and get into a headspace and build a buffer that better lends itself to me getting back to the kinds of posting/writing conditions I've thrived under in the past. It took longer than I thought, but I've never been good at accurately estimating things lol. I've still been on twitter somewhat sporadically, since a huge part of why I hate that site is its format makes it all but impossible to really get to ranting at length...y'know, as I do, my tried and true time-suck method of procrastinating...and with everything going on in the world these days I didn't want to disconnect entirely even though I did need time to work through some shit. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, felt like I needed something more substantial than the optimistic-but-lacking-in-actual-energy-and-planning measures I've attempted in the past couple years in order to get on top of things and achieve a measure of consistency and stability again. Less shooting for the moon because I just WANT to be back to my older, happier/more content patterns, more....putting some actual time and thought into how I can realistically make that happen instead of just trying to will it into existence through sheer stubbornness. Because obviously, THAT always works.

ANYWAY. It'll still be a couple days before I get back to regular posting/reblogging patterns or much of any of that at all.....don't be confused if you see some blink and you miss them temporary posts from me over the next day or two. I'm testing out the formatting and layout of a bunch of posts and graphics made for my patreon and original fiction stuff, since the preview post function doesn't always work with read mores in a post and they're all gonna need that lol. If anyone's up for it, I am finalizing the price/reward tiers of my patreon and could use some thoughts on the different levels - I think I have them mostly figured out but wouldn't mind some additional perspectives on how I broke things down and if I'm missing some alternatives. Just message me directly if you'd like to weigh in or lend me your thoughts!

I've never wanted my tumblr to be all about fic or just original content or anything like that, so the patreon's meant to kinda keep all that separate beyond just generalized update announcements on here. The blog will remain just a regular multi-purpose smorgasboard of my reblogs and thoughts on other posts and meta about my various fandoms and all that jazz. The patreon discord will have spaces having to do with my various fanfics, but they'll never be exclusive to it in any way, and every fic update I make will still be on my blog same as always. I've been building masterlists of all my Dick Grayson meta and all my Teen Wolf meta, as well as headcanons and writing snippets/scenes that never got posted elsewhere because I didn't consider them full fics, and I'm starting a series of posts that lean directly into my tendencies to be an Overly Opinionated Asshole who - historically speaking - has never been, uh, shy, shall we say, about Having Thoughts about various fandom patterns or trends.

So....look out for the upcoming "Kalen Vs Fandoms" post series. What? It sounded catchy to me. First up:

"Fandoms' tendency to pick one character per fandom to have every other character introduce as the dumbest person they've ever met, but no its okay, they're actually really fond of them and universally defaulting to a judgmental or patronizing shot at their intelligence every single time they're the topic of conversation among other characters just naturally happens to be part of every single other character's love language - is this perhaps NOT as endearing or affectionate as fandoms tend to treat it as?" Aka "How many people can actually say they'd be comfortable with the idea of every single person in their family or friend group leading with "I genuinely think they're stupid but I love them anyway" each time they talk about them to someone else, and if you don't think that's a normal conversation starter for people to have about a loved one, why do so many fandoms attempt to treat it as such?"

.....the length of post title should not be taken as an indicator of how long each post is. If people want to draw their own conclusions about post length based solely on the fact that they're, well, by me.....I mean. That's totally your prerogative. Nothing I can do about that!

Post topics will run the gamut, if for no other reason than gamut is an amazing word that doesn't get used enough and I wanted to use it. From "Its totally valid to project onto characters and use fic as a way to work through various issues via that projection but how much does this have to do with how defensively people react to the slighest criticism of character choices in their fics as though personally attacked - discuss" to "Criticizing and condemning the writers of source material for specific things - to rave reviews from followers - only to then do the exact same specific things in your own fics - to rave reviews from followers - while claiming that the mere fact of being a fan not getting paid for writing those specific things somehow makes them less worthy of criticism.....are we all seeing the problem here."

There's a slight chance those titles are perhaps....somewhat unnecessarily asshole-coded, but like, in a whimsical way! I think. Whatever. I'm sure it'll be fine!

Will either rhyme OR reason be involved in the order of post topics? No. Not even a little bit. Next question.

Aside from "Kalen vs Fandoms" I've been putting a lot of thought into what other topics or content I can expound upon at length, to the possible interest of people. I'm good at writing and editing and analyzing narratives. Not claiming to be the best, just not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I think my analysis of narrative and character choices has generally been of interest in most fandoms I've been in, but when I'm IN a fandom, I do personally invest in favorite characters and stories that inevitably put me in opposition to takes from fans of other characters and stories within that fandom, and when that happens, the Horseman of Discourse inevitably follows and I....do the discourse. Look, I am who I am. I see the discourse, I engage with the discourse. Unless I don't care about the topic of discourse, in which case I don't, because that discourse doesn't matter. Obviously.

SO! In the interest of posting about narrative analysis and breakdowns of writing choices, character arcs and the like but WITHOUT engaging in The Discourse, I'll be making an easy-to-find post of fandoms or source material whose characters and narratives I'm familiar enough with TO have opinions or analysises of, but for whatever reason, the fandom has never clicked for me and I've never actually felt a desire to be part of it. Thus I'm not likely to be invested or compelled enough to follow up on anyone disagreeing with my personal thoughts or analysis or various character arcs or narratives, because its literally just like, my opinion man, presented for no other purpose than to potentially be of interest to anyone who might be interested in it. No actual follow up needed on my part because I'm not particularly chuffed if people have different takes, they're totally valid, mine don't exist for the purpose of being defended there, they just exist because Opinions, I Had Them, Here Look. Or Don't. Its Totally Whatever.

Because I don't feel as strongly about these pieces of media as I do fandoms I'm personally invested in, it is trickier to come up with a comprehensive list of ones I can weigh in on. So please feel free to hit up my inbox with any fandoms, narrative or character arcs you're curious about my take on, and I'll let you know if they're fandoms I consider myself a participant in, and thus not really right for this series, or if they're something I'm just not knowledgeable about.....but if they're not an actual fandom of mine and I AM familiar enough with them to have an analytical take or response, I'll add them to the masterlist/post as a potential topic.

This series will be called and tagged "Kalen Vs Writing Choices" (That I Personally Don't Like Or Think Could Be Better). The parenthetical part is there solely to be a disclaimer clarifying that my ego is not so great that I think that My Subjective Take on the writing choices made or not made is the only one that matters. I mean, I don't intend to include the disclaimer as part of the actual tag and will mostly leave it as y'know, like, something IMPLIED, but the disclaimer still exists and thus counts. That's totally how that works.

And that's how I've chosen to awkwardly segue into the final intended-of-three post series.....Dramatically Abrupt Tonal Shift Ahoy!

This next part will get long, but I would truly appreciate it if you gave it a read despite its length and even if - especially if - the next topic isn't one you typically look for my take on, or even avoid my take on, because I don't think I'm likely to ever express my thoughts on this matter any more genuinely or directly than this. Like I'm not trying to guilt anyone or anything like that, its more I'm just trying to say if you ever read ANY single post of mine when it comes to the next topic or pick a post to base your decision on whether or not TO wade into something I have to say on this subject, I would appreciate it if you made that this next part here, as I think it best conveys where I'm coming from when it comes to most any post I make along these lines.

So. The thing is....most people who've followed me long know that in the past I've frequently been extremely vocal on topics of rape, incest and abuse, specifically through the lens of being a male survivor. These absolutely are personal for me. This has led to me having a lot of Overly Opinionated Takes on these topics and how they're talked about, depicted and treated within fandom conversations, fics, and social media spheres and conversations at large. I've also pretty obviously not posted on these topics nearly as much in recent years as I once did - but not because I feel any less strongly about them.

And that's one hundred percent because it's frustrating as hell to see a very good portion of the posts I make about any OTHER topic in my usual fandoms go on to accumulate hundreds of notes....while NONE of my posts on these topics ever break out of my direct circle of mutuals. I don't say it to be egotistical - look how many notes I get on stuff - I say it because its literally objectively factual, and the disparity is dramatic, and the disparity is a PROBLEM. Especially given how much the topics of male rape and abuse - in SPECIFIC - tend to be, within most of my past fandoms.

This disparity has a very clear reason for existing too: people have never been shy about citing that they refrain from reblogging or referencing my posts on these topics because they feel like I act like I'm the only opinion that matters on them, the sole authority to be listened to here, that I use my status as a male rape survivor as a cudgel, to shut down opposing takes or points of view.

Which I would totally be fine with or understand if not for the fact that I've always gone out of my way to express that I don't want or expect my opinions on these matters to be taken as anything other than my personal opinions born of my personal experiences, which I cite because they're relevant. I don't think that survivors should have to disclose their status or personal history or details in order to have their opinion heard on these topics, but I deeply resent how often survivors making the choice TO disclose their personal history or relationship with these topics in order to directly unpack how that informs our perspective....is weaponized AGAINST us, in order to shut down and discredit OUR takes even while literally accusing us of only disclosing in order to do the exact same thing to others.

Something that I've posted about a LOT in the hopes of getting it spread throughout fandoms that regularly talk about male rape is for literal decades I've seen people harp on about how men can be raped too, believe male survivors, don't believe the myth that men can't be raped, etc. Which like, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thing I've tried to express for years is that in my personal experience, and those of a lot of other male survivors I've talked to - this is not really the biggest or even ONE of the biggest issues most male survivors face.

And the fact that for all that there are many survivors in fandom who have made the difficult choice to be open about their traumas and recoveries - which I ALWAYS respect, as that is never easy for any of us - a huge part of why I've always made a point to disclose my own history as a male survivor is because there just flat out aren't a lot of perspectives from MALE survivors in specific, being circulated in pretty much any of the fandom spaces I've ever been in over the past twenty years. I don't even slightly think I'm any more of an expert or authority on topics of rape or abuse - beyond how they pertain to my own personal experiences - than any other survivor. But as long as the topic of MALE rape and abuse in specific, how men are affected by these things, how society reacts to us and treats us in the aftermath....as long as these are the topics explicitly being discussed.....I do think my perspective as a male survivor is pretty fucking relevant, and admittedly, I tend to get pretty heated about pushing BACK against attempts to invalidate it or shout it down as though I somehow have LESS of a stake in or right to be heard in these particular conversations. And I get how this has at times come across as attempting to dominate a given conversation.

But like.....I'm also going to point back up to the part where I said earlier....I'm an Overly Opinionated Asshole. I say it somewhat deprecatingly, for the lulz, but also not. I'm very passionate about conversations and topics I feel strongly about and I don't make apologies for it. And for the most part....this has NEVER stopped people from reblogging or liking posts I make about pretty much any other topic....despite me not really coming across that differently in most of them, compared to how I come across in most of my past posts on topics of rape and abuse.

See....I'm in complete agreement with everyone who emphasizes that rape isn't a gendered issue. That it can and does happen to individuals of any gender or identity. But the reason why I've always found the focus on 'remember that men can be raped too' more performative than helpful is because for almost twenty years, I've been posting on these topics in various fandom spaces and trying to express that in my personal experience, something that REALLY deserves to be talked about more is the fact that rape is not gendered. But rape CULTURE very much IS.

Like it or not, we live in a very gendered society still. While yes, men can be raped too.....for a number of reasons - most of them born of sexism and misogyny in specific - the conditions, catalysts and reasons for men being raped are NOT interchangeable with those at work in instances of women being raped, as an example. Because the way society treats men and women in pretty much EVERY situation is different. Similarly, the way society REACTS to men and women disclosing they've been raped is different. And so on and so on.

So 'remember that men can be raped too' has some basis in societal claims that men can't be raped or that rape IS a gendered issue....but not as much as I think most people tend to believe. And twenty years after I first started searching out perspectives of other male survivors in online fandom spaces, beyond just real world physical support groups, I'm STILL hearing 'remember that men can be raped too' dominating all conversations about male survivors just as regularly and repetitiously as it was twenty years ago....as though the world has not changed at all, and the needle on this particular facet of male survivorhood hasn't changed an inch in the past two decades when no, actually, it very much has.

The reason why I feel so strongly about offering up my perspective as a male survivor in a relative absence of seeing other male survivors' perspectives circulated is I honestly believe the reason this is so consistently upheld as the biggest problem facing male survivors is its a carry-over from women attempting to be heard and believed when disclosing....which makes sense and is completely understandable....as long as there's a complete absence of male survivors offering up any perspective that's to the contrary.

But the fact that we live in a gendered society where rape culture, not rape itself, still very much IS gendered due to being a product of....living in a gendered society....means that the differences in how society treats and reacts to men and women affects every aspect of how society treats and reacts to men and women survivors. And that starts with disclosure itself. In my personal experience - and fully acknowledging that I don't speak for any other male survivor in this moment, and I absolutely do believe there are those who have experiences to the contrary, and that matters too - MY experience, which also matters, is that not once in the twenty years since I've started disclosing about my own rape, or the csa I experienced as a child - have I actually had an issue being believed.

With full acknowledgment of how unfair it is, how gross, the reality of living in a sexist, patriarchal society where male privilege very much exists, is that while men can be raped too, this traumatic thing that happened to us does not in any way actually invalidate or negate our male privilege. It doesn't turn it off for the duration of our experience or any time its relevant to our experiences going forward. We carry that privilege with us through our recoveries and the rest of our lives just as much as we did before it, because its an inalienable result of being in a society that allocates privilege solely on the basis of being born a man who identifies and presents as a cis man (with respect to trans individuals having another axis of experience that very much differentiates all matters pertaining to rape culture, in comparison to cis men, just as much as in the case of cis women, albeit in different ways).

And the gross unfortunate reality of our society is that it ALWAYS prioritizes believing men over women, in all matters......especially cis white men like myself.

So the simple fact is....even the act of disclosure - and the likelihood of being believed when voluntarily choosing to share the information that we've been raped - means that a cis white man like myself does not receive the same reaction as most women receive when attempting to share that same information. Society preconditions a lot of people to be more receptive to taking cis white men at their word, comparative to affording anyone else that basic respect.

Getting people to believe me when I say I was raped has never been the issue for me that other individuals face.

But that doesn't mean that my disclosure doesn't result in issues for me.

Because while being raped never invalidated or negated any of my cis white male privilege, neither did having cis white male privilege negate the possibility of me being raped - OR the fact that society ALSO preconditions people to be really fucking shitty about survivors.

(Hell, ANY kind of living victim....with this also being very relevant to abuse survivors, survivors of physical assault, etc. Much like people can be overflowing with empathy for unborn children who can't offer up any take to the contrary to whatever people want to say "in defense or support of unborn children," only to turn around and cease caring about most of those babies the second they're born, people tend to be just as overflowing with empathy for deceased victims of abuse, rape, assault and the like....who, y'know, also can't offer up any take to the contrary of whatever they say or claim about what they WOULD want, what they DO deserve, etc. Present those same people with a living child or a living victim who can and DOES have an opinion that doesn't match what those people feel it SHOULD be? Watch attitudes shift VERY quickly, as allllll that empathy hurriedly flushes down the drain as though it was never there).

But the point is, my cis white male privilege is always here regardless. But that doesn't mean rape culture isn't shitty enough that it can't find a way to circumvent even that in pursuit of discrediting/invalidating/ignoring survivors, just like that privilege can be circumvented in order to create the situation where a man is raped in the first place.

Its just....the gendered nature of rape culture means HOW those attempts to discredit/invalidate/ignore male survivors manifests.....doesn't look the same as when it leads to just outright disbelieving other survivors when they attempt to disclose.

And that is how I can be listened to and reblogged on most any other topic, no matter HOW I go about presenting myself in those posts or conversations - ironically in no small part BECAUSE of my cis white male privilege - while only getting crickets when I post on these topics, BECAUSE people only choose THOSE posts to make my presentation or level of intensity a dealbreaker, and thus their very reason for ignoring anything I have to say there. Not because they don't believe me, but because the WAY I say it is too aggressive, too biased, too emotional, too intense....its an attack on their autonomy, an attempt to override whatever they previously thought or believed about the subject and just force them to adhere to my take.

Because the thing about living in a sexist, patriarchal society is.....that IS a thing that cis white men often do, and a lot of society is structured to make it easier for us to achieve this in most instances, frankly. This just happens to be a rare exception, because for a lot of reasons that would make this post even longer - and that again, I've often posted about before - upholding and reinforcing rape culture on a society wide level supersedes the usual focus on accommodating INDIVIDUAL cis white men in having their opinions heard and circulated.

I'm trying to be as frank as possible here about the intersection of privilege and experiences of being a male survivor because I don't believe its to anyone's benefit to be disingenuous about it, and I do think that it doesn't actually supplant the fact that male survivors do have just as much right - and NEED - to be heard and listened to about our experiences with rape and perspective there, and have those ACKNOWLEDGED, as anyone else.

Its just....the existence of privilege and how that differentiates most experiences in a gendered society matters, and thus.....it needs to be part of the conversation rather than just treating all responses to rape and survivors as agendered, just because rape itself can and does happen to people of all genders.

There's actually a fair amount to get into when it comes to differences in a lot of mens' disclosures vs womens' in my experience, but just as an extension of what I'm talking about here, one of the specific elements in my experience is that men often don't have a problem being believed about having been raped or abused.....but one of the predominant responses is society is heavily preconditioned to view male rape and abuse survivors as almost inevitably feeling they need to exert a similar power over someone else in order to claim back their own feelings of pride and safety in their masculinity. Effectively.....most every male rape or abuse survivor I've ever talked with at length shares a similar experience of being believed when they disclose about being a survivor....but noting a clear and direct shift in how whomever they disclosed to interacts with them....with EVERY expression of anger or outrage - particularly in the matter of their rape or abuse - being viewed as evidence of us being ticking time bombs who are inevitably primed to explode and take out what happened to us on someone else.

There's being cautious around cis white men, for example, because we're cis white men, which I totally get and am not expressing an opinion on. I'm just saying even with that acknowledged, there is a SHIFT in how people interact with me after I've disclosed to them personally, in how they....scrutinize me, for lack of a better way of putting it, in very noticeable ways and areas. Like its consistent. And think about how its not totally true that media doesn't portray men as being capable of being raped or abused, typically. Think about how often you've seen procedurals where the backstory of the rapist or abuser of the week is specifically THAT they were a rape or abuse survivor themselves, usually in childhood. Its NOT that society doesn't believe or accept that men can be raped too. Its that society is primed to default to viewing the very act of men being raped as an indicator of the shift from them being a man to being a man who is likely to become a predator themselves.

Rape appears all the time in regards to male survivors in media. Its just it usually just appears in the context of men who arent presented AS survivors, but rather as predators or aggressors themselves, and their past victimization treated as a catalyst rather than a trauma. This is not to excuse any such character or depiction of course, its simply to emphasize that the very angle from which male survivorhood is approached in most contexts is different from that of other survivors. Just like the angle from which their survivorhood is approached is different from that of male survivors. And thus the issue most men have with disclosing in my experience is NOT that we're afraid we won't be believed....its that we're afraid once we disclose, we'll be viewed as inherently more dangerous because our victimization primes us to be that much more likely to inflict ourselves on others in some attempt to reclaim our masculinity.

And its categorically NOT about any group of survivors having it better or worse than others, which is why I LOATHE people saying variations of 'you wouldn't say that about this if it happened to a woman' because anyone attempting to pit male survivors against other survivors en masse is NOT doing so for my benefit or with my endorsement. The point is just that each way society and rape culture interacts with a different group of survivors presents different problems and issues that need addressing, and aren't interchangeable.

There is a REASON why the subject of Dick Grayson's anger - usually in the context of things that have happened to him - is so important to me, specifically in terms of ensuring that its treated as something he's allowed to have....rather than an indicator that he's going to messily explode his life in a way that impacts everyone around him negatively.

Now.....if you've never considered that aspect of rape vs rape culture and how it can differently affect and shape the experiences and recovery of cis male survivors versus trans male survivors and nonbinary survivors and survivors who identify as women.....I ask that you consider what else my perspective might be able to add to actually productive, meaningful conversations about rape, rape culture and survivorhood, that you never would have thought TO think about before, without male survivors bringing it up based on it having played a role in personal experiences.

And then I just ask that you please think about the implications of someone known for being a vocal presence in certain fandoms, with a fairly sizable number of posts widely circulating throughout them......never having posts about male rape and survivorhood circulated to any noticeable degree, despite writing DOZENS of them, in all kinds of different moods, ways and intensity levels.....and all of them while active in fandoms where male rape is regularly discussed or focused on due to certain characters or storylines......and ask yourselves if it maybe seems a little off for the disparity to be THAT large. Again: I have written DOZENS of posts on this topic. All with less than twenty notes. I'll be composing a masterlist of them in the near future as well, but for now I'm just saying. Please just think about that.

While I'm going to make an effort to be more deliberate in how I approach this topic in posts going forward, tonally and in terms of word choice, I do have a right to be just as passionate about it as any other topic, and it is FUCKED UP to think that my personal experiences here should be pointed to as the very REASON I should need to be LESS passionate than I am anywhere else, in order to be heard or listened to. Still. I am not actually trying to override anyone else's viewpoint, present myself as some kind of ultimate authority, or shut down other survivors in any way....I'm just trying to uphold the relevancy and importance of adding my own perspective to the conversation.

I don't want to be the only voice listened to here. But as long as my voice is relevant, and I don't see or hear a lot of other voices speaking from a similar standpoint, I would like to be a RESOURCE on topics of male survivorhood, rape and recovery, from that particular standpoint. And even if and when other male survivors might perchance add their own perspectives with experiences and takes contrary to mine....I welcome that! Because mine is not the only one, cis white male survivors are no more a monolith than anyone else, and none of that will in any way actually invalidate my own perspective or experiences or render them no longer relevant at all.

Being a resource on a topic that has always been everpresent in most fandoms I've gravitated to - which has often been a reason FOR me gravitating to those fandoms in specific.....that has always been my ONLY goal with these kinds of posts. NOT an authority.

So, having my posts - which for all my willingness to write them, has never been easy for me and probably never will - reframed in such a negative way, dismissed and even weaponized against me - has over the years demoralized me and made it harder to find the energy TO tackle these topics, as much as I'd like to. But I do feel that I've found a second wind when it comes to this and think I'm ready to wade back into being Overly Opinionated on these topics as well.

So that's the third of the three post series I'll be starting, "Kalen vs Topics of Rape, Rape Culture and Survivorhood As Perceived Through A Singular Personalized Cis White Male Lens, Presented By (and With) My Middle Finger At Any Attempts to Subvert Or Undermine My Thoughts On Them By Reframing Them As Me Trying To Gatekeep Male Survivorhood No Matter How Many Times I Use The Words IN MY EXPERIENCE or IN MY OPINION, Which I Do A Lot, Because This Has Been Happening For A Very Long Time, And I Am Tired, But Still Very Opinionated, And Still Very Here, So Bite Me I Guess."

.....I'm still workshopping that one's title. Its a process.

ANYWAY. At the moment, I'm aiming to make one post of each once a month, and if I do more than that great, but not trying to pressure myself to do any more than that at the moment in the interests of Realism. We'll play it by ear. If I have more free time or energy than expected, maybe I'll do more. Its not like I have a shortage of Very Opinionated Opinions, after all. You've met me.

BUT I DIGRESS.

So in the interest of not making this long ass post any fucking longer, not that anyone really expected otherwise from my first post back in months, like could I REALLY even claim to ACTUALLY be back if all I had to show for it was some weak little lackluster drabble that wasn't even 3,000 words? Methinks the fuck not -

Well, have an abrupt and anticlimactic finish that comes out of nowhere despite giving myself literally 4,900 words to build to something appropriately profound or meaningful or whatthefuckever. Y'know. Your standard Kalen Classic. The abrupt and anticlimactic wrap up I mean, not the profound and deeply meaningful one. Eh. You get it.

Did ya miss me? I missed you!

PS - I was Informed that we are almost to the end of Tommy T's Tenure, is it almost safe to come back to Nightwing comics? Does anyone know when his last issue is? Have we planned the party yet? Who's on balloons, we definitely need balloons.

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ro994art · 1 month ago

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Bluey Minisodes Minireviews: Part 2!

Hello again, people! I've been needing something to distract myself from a few media disappointments I've been getting lately from certain franchises I once enjoyed. And just in the nick of time arrive some short, sweet, lighthearted slice-of-life adventures from everyone's favorite Australian blue pup.

I'm talking, of course, about the new Bluey minisodes! I don't know about you guys, but to me these were a welcome break from... well, a lot of things happening right now. I reviewed the first batch of these back in July, so I thought, why not give my quick thoughts on these as well? I guess I've unofficially become a Bluey reviewer now? A minireviewer at the very least, LOL.

⚠️ As always, spoilers for these shorts below the cut.

🖍️ Tattoo Shop

Without a doubt, this short is the PERFECT representation of what it's like to be a Girl Dad™. 😂 Bandit knew what he was getting into no doubt, but I like how he still played along. Of course, this is Bandit Heeler we're talking about, so we wouldn't expect less. I think that's pretty much all I have to say about this one. Oh, and that the design of the tattoo the girls did was really pretty, I kinda want it as a sticker x)

🦄 Phoney

Unicorse returns! He's not exactly my favorite character (or, running gag, I guess?), but I admit that he does make for some fun scenes, especially when he isn't acting extremely annoying, and I found his annoyance levels in this short to be at just the right amount. Plus, it was satisfying to see the girls "defeat" him, so to speak, at the end. 😂 I just hope stuff like this doesn't happen with too much frequency whenever Chilli tries to relax, because otherwise, Bandit is in serious danger. 😅 (I'm joking of course, we've seen Bandit know when to give Chilli her space, and that's great. He can still have fun from time to time, he just better find his wife in a good mood x'D)

🏰 Blocks

Okay, I really loved this one. Definitely tied for my favorite from the batch with another one that I'll mention in a bit x) Some of you may know this, but along with mom-centered Bluey episodes, I also have a soft spot for grandmother-centered Bluey episodes, since I grew up with my mom and grandma until the latter passed away last year (and it's one of the reasons why I really love the episode "Charades" despite it apparently being one of the most hated once in the fandom, but I digress 😅)

Anyways, up until now, we hadn't seen all that much of Nana Chris and Grandpa Bobba interacting and just, y'know, being an old married couple, so we finally got that, albeit in the midst an unusual circumstance, but I still found it really sweet. ❤️ Especially the end. 💖 I also think this might be the first time we've seen time cards used in Bluey? I really like those for some reason, LOL. Another thing I loved about this episode were the background details! I was really nerding out about little stuff such as the colorful pillboxes, the porcelain dog ornaments, the photos on both the fridge and shelves, etc.! As someone who literally lives in her grandma's house, all of those details made it feel more like, well, grandma's house x) I love how much love and effort the designers and animators put into small things like that. They deserve all the praise.

Also, I don't know if I'm crazy, but I'm PRETTY sure that when Bluey asked "Did you leave our blocks up?" near the end, that was the actual, unfiltered voice of her voice actress? Like, a lot of people have said that they've been digitally "de-aging" the kids voices as they've grown older so they don't have to change the actors, and I'm pretty sure her voice during that line sounded older, like they forgot to digitally alter the pitch on that one. Just something I noticed that I'm not sure if anyone else caught or not. 😬

Anyways, that review turned out longer than expected, but I can't help it. I love grandparent eps. 😋

📠 Government

I think this was the unofficial sequel to "Animals" from last batch xD The way they played the game was pretty similar, just with its own Bandit flavor and dad humor of course. I think the biggest take from both of those shorts is that Bingo is REALLY ticklish, but likes getting tickled. 😂 Oh and, the way Bandit curled Bingo into a little ball at the end? I had no idea they could do that, but uhm, okay I guess. 😅

🥁 Drums

Sooooo, Chilli wants to get Bingo into violin? Even though the latter doesn't really seem interested in that? I just hope that's not something that's going to get forced onto her eventually. 😬 I mean, knowing Chilli, I'm sure she won't make Bingo do it if she tells her that she doesn't like violin. And Bingo has been getting better at speaking her mind, so, I think it hopefully won't come to that.

But anyways, about the drums: Bingo's surprisingly good at them for a beginner! 😄 I'm pretty sure she gets it from her dad. 😉 I think this episode was another showcase of "Bingo may seem like a calm and chill kid, but there's also a bit of a wild side to her that not many expect" that's been happening in more recent episodes such as "Dragon". Even though I do appreciate and can better relate to calm characters, that's still a fun side of Bingo to explore, so I hope they keep giving us glimpses of that. Oh, and that they let Bingo play more drums. She seemed to like them. :3

🧸 Browny Bear

This is the other minisode tied with "Blocks" for my favorite of the new batch. 😆 From the title alone, I'm not sure what I was expecting from this, but a film noir parody starring Unicorse's puppet lawyer was definitely not it xD But it was still super fun! A lot of animated shows that I love have actually done film noir parodies, such as the original FOP, MLP:FiM, and Monsters at Work, and those episodes always end up being some of my favorites of their respective season because of how entertaining and funny the format is. Ironically, I've never seen an actual movie of that genre in my life. 😅 I'm not awfully sure if I'd like the real thing, but the parody is always fun to watch LOL. And even though they didn't make the episode black-and-white like is usual with this type of episodes, the way they worked with the sharp shadows through the half-open blinds was VERY clever, like this is how the family is actually playing this. Smart move, animators. 👏

I wouldn't mind seeing Browny Bear more often. He was quite funny and, in my opinion, more tolerable than Unicorse. 😅 (I like the guy, he's just a bit much sometimes 😬)

Oh, and like I said: Bingo gets it from her dad. 😉

🌊 Whirlpool

This one was just cuteness overload x) I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who got nostalgic flashbacks of playing in inflatable pools in the backyard as kids. ☺️ I personally never played this game, though, and even if I had thought of it, I don't think I could've, since the inflatable pools my family owned were very little even for a kid. 😅 But it looked like these kiddos were having a blast, and that made my heart happy. AND CHUCKYYYYYYYY!!! I love that they included him, I LOVE Chucky, he's such a sweet character with an ADORABLE design. I'd love to see more of him. More love for Chucky pls. 💛

Final thoughts:

Like I said, I've been needing more Bluey lately. These little shorts in particular always make for some great mind soap if you just want to watch something sweet and fun. Though, similarly to what I said in the last review, I would still like to see other characters besides the main Heeler family get explored in these. We did get a bit of that with Nana and Grandpa, besides Lucky's involvement, but again: Why not give us a Pompom short? Or a Calypso short? Maybe a glimpse of Winton and the Terriers ajusting to living together? While yes, we all love the core Heelers, this show also has so many other great, beloved characters, and these 90-second shorts could be cool opportunities to get a bit more from them.

But, I reiterate: I will never complain about more Bluey content. Could there be more done with these? Sure. Am I mad at what we got? Not at all! I still have a blast watching them, and a 15 minute break from both real life and fandom-related stresses is always welcome.

Can't wait for whatever Bluey content may come next. ✨

#text post #ro994 review #bluey #bluey minisodes #bluey heeler #bingo heeler #bandit heeler #chilli heeler #my opinion

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cookii-moon · 2 years ago

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Ninjago has social media so why not share some headcanons

so I was chatting with a friend and this came up and I wanted to expand on it and talk about it

Basically... how the ninja interact with the canon social media. Yeah. Twitter- I mean Chirp... is a thing in Ninjago. Canonically. And then never brought up again. So uh

What better to do than explore how the Ninja's social media life is going in relation to them being celebrities. And then post it on a social media at 9 pm. Headcanons under the cutoff yayy

Ok so first off Cole because he started this mess and I want to get him out of the way because I want to get to the other's.

He's... I mean are we going to deny he's popular... He was kinda already a celebrity before becoming a Ninja thanks to his family history. Either way, he is very afraid of the omnipresent conglomorate known as a fanbase. They scare him so he just does not interact with them whatsoever, yet he still somehow manages to remain VERY popular with fans for... a variety of reasons... his lack of interaction means they feel like they can get away with a lot of things. Despite this Cole does still have exactly one active social media account and it is an anonymous (Insert Ninjagan equivalent to Instagram here) where he quite literally just posts art randomly and daily and says absolutely nothing. By anonymous, I mean he pretty much just has an online name and profile picture that he made up that has no connections to his personal life or being a ninja. The other Ninja are aware he has an art account, but not of the name or any other details, so they've made a secret game out of finding his social media identity. It remains yet to be found, which is either a relief, to Cole (though he isn't even aware of it) or sad, to the people who are betting on it.

Lloyd!! Little candy loving goblin man!!! Lloyd is awesome I want to draw him more often hhh

Lloyd kind of just talks about funny things, posts memes, and shares cool fanart. He tries to steer clear of negativity in general because good lord knows he's far too exhausted from his own trauma and stress to fight the internet. He just tries to turn a blind eye to stuff but he still gets caught up in the web that is social media sometimes, what with fame and all that, which often ends in him getting emotional. And subsequently having Kai offer to punch somebody. His socials are public but he doesn't advertise them much at all for the sake of a peaceful atmosphere, so he has like a decently small follower/sub/whatever count for how popular he is. His fanbase is pretty tame for the most part, though there are a few overbearing young children who don't quite understand things just yet.

Kai, the guy who made chirp canon by posting about being in the hospital and causing a break in that probably violated several laws and frightened the children.

... I mean it's kind of canon that he uses socials. Since he's likely one of the only two Ninja with public and advertised accounts, people flock to him a lot over that fact alone, so not all of them are necessarily there for Kai. He has a pretty dedicated fanbase of people who like him for his charm and personality, but he also has a few people who find him annoying and pretentious. Some people kinda don't mind him and just follow him for Ninja news or snippets in general, even though he doesn't just post about Ninja stuff. Since it's kind of hard to convey a personality in.. you know... text... unless you know someone REALLY well, he tends to have a bit of a divide in the community over how he comes off as arrogant or full of himself sometimes.

Nya our local girlboss who's movie counterpart rides a straight up motorcycle through hallways endangering hundreds of children- look I love Nya but principal where are you.

She does have a social, but she rarely uses it. When she logs in every month or so it mostly just consists of roasting Kai or answering curious fans. Despite this she does look at the fanbase every now and then because she finds it equally parts heartwarming and, when it comes to the idiots and trolls, amusing. She's pretty popular because of her general attitude and girlboss vibes.

Zane, robot man with infinite access to the entirety of the web.

So hear me out here... I don't think he has an actual social, but I think he edits wikipages. Like not fandom or anything just straight up Wikipedia. In every language. (or, well, regional dialect?) I know it's really specific but that just seems like something he'd enjoy. It's a secret hobby. He'll be up at night facing the wall in his bed, eyes open trying to finish this wiki article because new info about prehistoric dinosaurs and their connections to birds came out and he has to document it right now oh my god, and the others think he's just like asleep or smthn. It just makes him really happy. His fanbase isn't as large as the others, but he's still very well liked by the majority of the ninja fans, even though he rarely interacts with social media outside of interviews (because Jay is actively trying to stop him from getting anywhere close to it so that he doesn't have to explain certain things)

And last but not least... Jay... the social menace of the internet.

He's the second ninja with a public and well known account, and he's very popular. He talks about everything. Funny memes. Fanart. Silly thoughts. And he loves gossiping about the other's in good fun. His sole purpose is to entertain both others and himself, and he is very good at it, even online. He's also really involved in the community and likes giving shout outs to talented people and such. Being really involved also means he knows their secrets. He knows about the more sus parts of the fanbase. He knows about the secret Benedict cult. He knows about the real reason Cole and Nya are so popular. Sometimes, he'll deliberately mention these parts of the fanbase, randomly and oftentimes months apart, and just set the place ablaze because he finds it funny. Nowhere is safe from him and they all know it. It's become a meme at this point with some even people making up wacky conspiracy theories about him being omnipresent or the account being run by a robot with very well programmed bad jokes. But his sheer presence in the fandom and his personality makes him very popular. And the social he uses is probably YouTube, but he also streams sometimes. On YouTube. Not twitch. He never changed. Ever. The others love coming in during a stream and messing with him or teasing him in chat. Mostly Cole and Nya. They're subbed both to be supportive and so that they get the notification whenever he's live or uploads so that they can leave a comment. Because of course they would. Cole's YouTube account is the only account he ever uses that's public, and he made it for the sole purpose of teasing Jay. If that doesn't say best friends, then I don't know what does.

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ben-marco · 5 months ago

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This is such a weird area for me to be in... I stepped away from RAMCOA spaces for some time due to life circumstances. I was glad for stuff like the discord server I got into originally with legion as it's been a place that I actually feel safe taking about my trauma in but a lot of the shit coming out about Legion has soured me to all of this. I did find out stuff about my own trauma, stuff I know is true and have worked through in therapy.

Seeing people talk about worries people were pushing them into thinking they'd been around others or had experienced traumas they didn't makes me worried we may have in part made people feel that way. Anyone who was in a specific area when we were we wanted to know if they saw us because we were so desperate to find others to tell us we were right. And we did eventually actually find someone we had known off and on, but really it was dumb luck- and beyond that incredibly reckless and dangerous. I don't blame any of the people there currently but for a period of time there was just.... sort of a culture around trying to find others and spending a lot of time and energy on that which I understand but should have also been stopped sooner than it was.

I just feel so weird about everything coming out and how things are going I don't know how to feel and I just... idk it's weird. It makes me second guess myself more even when I know that what I did experience in my own case was true. Legion never had any say on my traumas either, because I never was involved in anything she was. But it still makes me worried. It's basically just... anytime conspiracy theorists end up damaging the perception of RAMCOA survivors it further makes me shut down and question myself even when I'm working on starting a legal case. I also now have a large amount of anxiety and paranoia around the idea that it may be possible that Legion could have taken some of our vents since we had been off of tiktok so long we would have never noticed them claiming our life story as their own. And that somehow makes me feel the worst out of all of this.

Hi anon,

I've gone through something similar-- questioning my memories and history after being around someone particularly unsavory -- and I hate that you're going through it too with Legion.

What helped me the most was getting away from social media spaces focused on RAMCOA/OEA/OSDDID, which it sounds like you've already done. I needed some time to myself to truly untangle what was mine and what was not, to get back in touch with my own system and my own experiences without input from others. It was difficult but worth it. And it's good to hear that you were able to work some of this out in therapy!

I think another thing to remember is that echo chambers...are echo chambers. It's really, really easy to get into the rhythm of these spaces and it just becomes this cycle of people convincing each other of things. I think it says enough that you're aware of / wondering about whether you may have pushed someone into thinking a certain way. At least with the way you've written this ask, you don't sound like someone who would have done that intentionally. You sound like someone who got caught up in an echo chamber during a vulnerable time in your life.

As for being worried about Legion having potentially co-opted your vents or your story...I'm afraid there's nothing anyone would be able to do about this and I know, for me, it wouldn't be helpful to worry about whether or not I had missed a TikTok post where they had claimed part of my story or co-opted one of my vents. Sure, you can take it upon yourself to look through all their posts, but they've also deleted so many of them over time, and had other accounts...not sure how helpful or healthy it would be to spend a lot of time thinking about that, although it's understandable that it would be concerning.

I told another anon that their trauma is theirs no matter whether or not Legion is a bad person. Your trauma is yours regardless of whether or not Legion has tried to co-opt it somewhere.

#legion #legionsys #legion system

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maxphilippa · 7 months ago

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You know, for someone constantly ranting about the bad side of the II fandom, you spread a lot of negativity yourself. Especially when it comes to shipping and character interpretation, because apparently no one’s allowed to accidentally overlook any part of a character or see humanity in characters who are morally wrong and know it.

Honestly, I know almost nothing about the bad side of the II fandom, but I’m pretty sure there’s more to it than an admittedly questionable but popular ship and people not writing the characters how you see them. Which at least in my opinion, isn’t actually bad but just normal fandom that happens everywhere

Ironically for an artist, I think most of your recent posts have just been about this kind of stuff. What happened to the you that made one of best AUs in II Fandom?

Sincerely,

A Concerned Fan

. anon. the thing that happened was that I stopped repressing myself and my thoughts when it came to the fandom itself. i never said that people aren't allowed to unintentionally/accidentally overlook certain things or that they can't see humanity on morally wrong characters, what i did mean to do is to encourage people to study the characters more and to try to think out of the black/white bad/good perspective, and to understand that complex characters aren't all the same and that every single character is more than just an stereotype, to actually try to look deeper for the characters other than for shipping reasons. to actually try to get the series for what it's worth and to not ignore parts that are canon of it.

i've been on the bad side of the ii fandom for months and honestly, i cannot talk about a lot of things about it because it would get me buried alive, because harassment and death threats by some of the people around here are things that happened to one of my friends and to me too. i am not mentally ready to try to cover all of that yet but you are right on me being more negative lately, and meanwhile i do have my reasons for it (been harassed, saw how my friend struggled for months to recover from all the harassment she got on the fandom), things that ultimately hurted me deeply.

so i bring up the things that also cause those problems and such, going against popular hcs is a big thing still and it kind of sucks a lot. i've been more tired lately considering how the fandom appears to have gotten worse on those aspects, which ultimately drains my energy, and seeing a thing that you love being treated like it can only work if you change everything, seeing something that you love being misinterpretated but not seeing people try to at least analyze it or get it, it. sucks. it makes you feel tired. because you really love that media, but the negative part of the fandom is so strong that it affected you, even though you still very much love the media itself.

and it does hurt but also.

but i am sorry that i got too caught up on it too. i can't say that it's going to get calmer with time because it's still affecting me and my friends, but I genuinely do want to bring with time a more positive look on things. yet my tone when it came to those things wasn't the best one and i apologize for that too. i genuinely don't want people to think that i am saying "you aren't allowed to make mistakes", i did a lot of them! a lot of mistakes! and that's okay!!! everyone makes mistakes. what i want people to do is to try and learn more about the media on general because it is good and i really want people to look more on the media than rather just settle for the fanon!!!

. oh and also i am just. angry with the fandom. it's not an "oh i just think they're like this" my issue with the way people treat ii and it's characters is that they do twist them way too much to the point it feels terribly ooc and it feels like people don't really. I am all up for interpretations genuinely and I encourage them!!! But I want people to understand the media so the interpretations actually feel. You know. On character. To not depend on the fanon. and i'd really like it if the fandom became more accepting of others and to be more open about things. and to maybe not be so extreme when people say that they don't like a popular thing too? there is a lot to fix here buttttt that is something the community itself has to work on. absorbing too much of it's negativity hurted on a personal level

And I am still here, I don't know which AU you're talking about but I genuinely do appreciate that you consider that I made "one of the best II AU's", and please do not be concerned. It's been rough lately but I can assure you that I'll be okay. It's easier to focus on the negative part but also, focusing on it too much has made me more grumpy lately and I really do want to talk more on why I love II and make content of it. Thank you for sharing your worries too anon. I'll take that on count. :]♡

#max answers #. yeah this sobered me up honestly

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kaus-quietis · 8 months ago

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Greetings, Anon! Thank you for your questions. I have to admit, even in the past, I refrained from posting reactions or speculations as BSD chapters release, but you already knew that, so I will indulge you. I'll answer each part of your ask. BSD ch113 thoughts below, manga spoilers ahead.

♠ "What was your raw reaction?" It was not a calm, quiet one, I can tell you that. No, in fact I screamed with excitement as if I was in a Roman amphitheatre and my favourite gladiator just got back up on his feet, out of sheer force of will, grinning and sweaty. My scream was the fastest way I could "verbalize" the fact that I was overjoyed to see him alive again, even if it's in the 15th century, and on top of that he seemed to be some kind of spy monk all chained up and having what seems to be a ridiculous amount of fun getting caught and discussing with Bram. This is all very in-character for him.

♠ "Was that something you expected?" Absolutely not. Yes, yes, I truly did not expect a jump back in time and this infobomb drop, despite the fact that we did get a few hints that Fedya seemed present at past events when all the other character really appeared younger than him (near the end of S4ep3, where on a rooftop Fedya says "It's not V, it's Five" and I am seriously like bruh I give up what I want to say is I need more data to work with, what am I supposed to do with this, rationally speaking?). However, we can't yet extract anything conclusive from this. Is he ageless? A time-traveler? Immortal? Does he revive? When was he born? Was he born at all or created differently somehow? Is he of BSD's world, or an external one (Beast liveaction finale anyone?)? Is this all within the Book and he's just… idk flipping the pages? Anything is possible and I refuse to spend a lot of time working with incomplete data. This is not very follower-friendly (as in, my blog is basically inactive in-between), I know and I apologize, but if after many chapters there will be something worthwile to add to my essay (with what Fukuchi said in ch113 I already have important stuff to add), under those circumstances I will consider writing an update. It's not yet time.

♠ "<Was that> something you felt different for the characterization we all made for Fyodor?" Hmm, I would hesitate to refer to a characterization "we all made" for him (I wish! T o T), because my analysis and blog are but a tiny tiny part of the fandom (I think…? I wonder about my Fedya essay's reach or influence sometimes). But let's say here we refer to one that comes close to what I tried to show in my essay. In that case, I would say that there is nothing to fear here in this chapter, but it's very understandable to have massive trust issues at this point. We went through a miserable, miserable time when the previous ones made the guy who visually memorized a full deck of used cards somehow not notice Chuuya wearing contacts and fake vampire teeth, despite knowing the vampire race since… well, the 15th century! I cannot even begin to describe what I felt reading ch111.5-112, I was beyond repulsed. Lovers of "villain" characters understand the following thing well: in most media, our fav has to lose, he has to die or disappear at some point, with rare exceptions. I, too, know this well, but that was no compelling way to solve BSD's villain threat. I still don't know how BSD will wash away that narrative stain, as I consider it, but then again one of the reasons we love this manga is that it keeps us on the edge of our seats and the most absurd yet fun turns can happen out of the blue. We can reasonably ask ourselves: ok, what is the purpose of showing Fedya's backstory now? If it's for build-up, we can already start grinning like Cheshire cats. What could possibly be next? I'm cautiously optimistic, things look in-character and good to me. Very good, in fact.

♠ "Or do you think it is later on going add some depth to his character?" Backstories are shown usually for a very clear purpose. We don't know the purpose yet, but if it's done well, then… then my whole essay could be at risk lmao (and I love this sensation). New info could add so much depth to his character, in fact, that his previously observed traits could gain new meanings, or even contradictory ones. Whichever it will be, I think it's pretty safe to bet on "his backstory will be very relevant".

♠ Bonus: even if I enjoy going "full analytical" and enter conference speech mode when asked, I am driven by strong emotions, by which I want to say – I am not immune to assassin/spy monk Fedya chained up like that and having the time of his life again. I missed seeing him entertained like that, and his current …………. visual representation in the.. uh. ..chapter, yeah, well, it's doing things to my Depeche Mode-worshipping heart.

Anyway, to conclude with some facts we know as of now:

a. Fedya and Bram are inside the Bran Castle, close to the Romanian city of Brașov, "deep in the Carpathians" although not built at high altitude itself. It's basically a fortress built between 1377-1388, with several later additions. The BSD representation of it is very accurate to how it looks today. It's near perfect, actually, I applaud.

b. Bram mentions King Matthias, and in this context that can only mean Matthias Corvinus, King of Hungary for 1458-1490. The meeting between Fedya and Bram thus happens some year during his reign, when Transylvania was still part of the Kingdom of Hungary. What is still strange to me is that I can't pinpoint Bram's exact position, as in… were his people independent? Or avoided? I feel like I need to re-read past Bram-related chapters to think about this.

c. Nevermind Bram, the things that Fukuchi says, those are the real goldmine here, but the gold is still… encrypted? I mean: Fedya made the DoA plan (more than confirmed now), and because Fukuchi asked for the condition to keep casualties under 500, Fedya respected that and we got entertained for like half of the whole BSD manga: using coin bombs for terror, for economic/political destabilization, using the vampire infection to avoid further violence, these things. The more you think about it, the more insane it gets. Since Fedya agreed to this condition, it means causing (more) deaths and violence were expendable things to him. (But imagine this: Fukuchi said "I want max. 500 deaths" and Fedya said "Yeah I can do that", now if Fukuchi would've said "I want max. 2 deaths" I really believe Fedya would've still said "Yeah I can do that". What can't he do, especially since murder for murder's sake isn't his goal?). This is in perfect harmony with his "necessary deaths only" approach so far, and much much more. There are far more implications in what Fukuchi said, which I won't type out here now. Gotta keep them and build around them for a future analysis update.

This was a rather long read, but still, I hope this satisfies your curiosities, Anon. *bows dramatically & disappears in a borderline insufferable ENTP way*

#Lav answers #I can't believe I wrote so much #yet still I will keep true to my principle of not over-speculating with insufficient data #a proper essay update would be much more valuable than making separate monthly posts even though in this way I can't contribute to the hype #or despair #or both #but fans of patient analysis will profit .. richly from this #someday!#sigh why is it I can talk about Fedya for hours #why can't I..... ugh.......#Iiiiiiii caaaaan't stooooop lovinggg youuuu #OTL................#man I've chosen the best manga character of all time frfr #also as of ch113 my Philosopher!Fedya fanfic is basically.................canon-friendly to the highest degree and I can't believe it #it happens in like the 1440-1450s and I dont even know how to feel about this reveal skjdfng

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1d1195 · 3 months ago

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to the anon that sent me two messages. I haven't been ignoring you. I def stayed away from tumblr the last day or so. But anyway.

You are always welcome to trauma dump to me and I'm happy to listen. I hope that my opinions and feelings don't make you think less of me. I know there's a lot I don't know nor experience and I never aim to offend anyone and never try to make anyone feel invalidated. You are extremely important, and I think that's the most important thing to remember and take away if you decide to read below the cut.

I think your feelings are completely reasonable. I have been struggling with the way he uses his platform myself and other than writing, I've found myself hardly listening to his music lately. I think I've been in love with the old Harry and maybe the way he used to make me feel--when I was younger and less aware of how bad the world was. When I picture him, it's not the Harry from 2024. I'm not even sure it's the Harry I thought about when I started this blog.

I'm not trying to make him sound better than he is, but a lot of people have voiced these opinions about Harry and other celebrities more and more recently. I don't think you're alone and you're right to question his beliefs and attitudes toward social issues and marginalized communities. I try not to delve too much into his relationships. I never understand them and it honestly just depresses me so I steer clear.

You are completely entitled to your opinion and I think if you're protecting your heart and mental health by pulling back from Harry, then there's nothing wrong with that. I like what you said about not being caught off guard. I'm the same way. It would be crippling to find out someone I looked up to wasn't who I thought they were. It's happened a lot actually to people I'm very close with and it hurts like crazy.

I don't know if this helps but part of what I do (specifically me--and my bf would COMPLETELY agree with me) is I def am prone to para-social relationships with celebrities (queue the fanfic archive). I call Ryan by his first name (either one), same with Andrew (Garfield) Being from the same state I'm convinced I would fall in love with Chris Evans at Gillette Stadium watching the Patriots (even though he's now married). And quite honestly? I think this 'pedestal' (if you can call it that because I don't think it is) that I put them on makes them less real. I don't see them as real people. Maybe that's bad in it's own right, too, but I think I do it subconsciously to protect my heart. I really liked watching Ellen growing up--she was a staple when I was home sick from school and I just found her segments enjoyable. When all the bad stuff came out about her it killed a part of my childhood and I'm not condoning what she did because she hurt a lot of people--including myself. I'm not sure how closely you follow my blog (no shade, just feel bad if you have to listen to me repeat myself a lot) but I refuse to watch the news. It just makes this crazy, often-shitty world we live in feel even more dreadful and I couldn't take the negativity any longer. It was my way of filtering out the stuff that hurt me.

What my rambling here was trying to say was, I don't think celebrities are without fault and you're right to question and worry. You're right to protect your heart and mental health because (and the idea that I will never see Michael B. Jordan up close and personal is truly AWFUL) I'm never going to meet them to ask them the hard questions. There will always be the space of media, lies, and more that will come between their real thoughts and actions and the watered down version I get as a run-of-the-mill consumer.

I feel like I made a lot of excuses and ramblings that don't make sense here. This is a very hard subject and I really don't want you to think I'm making excuses for Harry or any celebrity. I think their lives are entirely different than mine. But I do hide A LOT of my true emotions and feelings from everyone all the time and I do think I have that in common with them. I don't know if this will make you think less of me but if it does, I'm very sorry. It wasn't my intention. I appreciate you feeling comfortable to chat with me about the hard stuff and I hope that there's some kind of comfort you take away from all this, even if it was just from getting what you were feeling off your chest. 💕 I hope that you find peace with your decision because again, the most important thing that matters is you're happy 💕

xoxo

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circesoracle · 7 months ago

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6 (or 8. I find 6 intriguing but I want a spoiler however you're most comfortable) 14, 17 (😄), 18, 25, 29, 32, 44, 58, 66 for eternity's embrace, 79

Just a couple of questions for the fanfiction writing asks. I promise I tried not to ask too many but I couldn't help it ^-^

6/8. What’s the last line you wrote?/Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

These are functionally the same thing right now, so:

How like a saint she stood, back to the glass mural of the Martyr Sabrine, wings spread in holy dignity which did appear to sprout from the shoulders of the asari princess. From on high was the light brought down to shine upon her alone. So like an angel painted upon the sky did she stand, resplendent in the rainbow streaks of sun caught in the stained glass of the cathedral windows. Cast across her scales in prismatic patterns she was as otherworldly - as ethereal - as any who in Heaven’s Halls did walk.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Scrunched up in bed or sprawled out, I struggle to focus if I'm sitting up or at a table I have to be able to lounge. Gotta have my legs bent funny or I simply can't write.

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

A little bit, but I find it easy to get overwhelmed by things. None of my fics have really required *research* more just double checking things.

My novel however requires massive amounts of research even if almost none of it pays off. I am a genius who decided to write a book about street racing and cars when I myself can not drive and know nothing about cars. I spent a week doing so much research about cars just so I could make up fake sci-fi parts and manufacturers. I wanted to get stuff right even though it's all sci-fi and made up, yknow?

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Writing for sure! Outlining is a pain, I do worldbuilding mostly as it's needed off a rough outline, and I never edit. If it's a one-shot there's no planning at all. So even though I take damage whenever I write it's still the most enjoyable part of the process because a lot of the time it's the only part of the process for me. Where's that defunctland tweet about the only thing worse than doing [creative pursuit] is not doing it. That's how I feel about writing a lot of the time.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

Including this one is an act of psychological warfare.

I am proud that I do it. I'm proud that despite how much doubt and loathing I feel about my writing I still do it. Even though I think I could sit here for hours trying to pick something, trying to lie and pick out something other people tell me I'm good at but I don't believe, I still write, and I still want to write. I can't say I'm good at it, or that I think I do anything particularly well, but I write, and I'm proud that I do. I might never be in a place were I like my writing or can pick something I'm good at. I'll also never be in a place where I stop writing for good.

32. Do you take fic requests? Why or why not?

Nebulously, yes! I ask for requests and simply never get a response from people, so I stopped saying I take requests uhh about a year ago. There just isn't enough interest I guess. I wish I was someone who could take writing commissions but even for free people don't want it 😅

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Fantasy, easy. My writing works best for fantasy I find, something I didn't give much thought until I was writing a sci-fi novel and realised how strange my prose are in that context. I don't even particularly like fantasy, on balance I like sci-fantasy, and in media I prefer sci-fi, but fantasy has always just been where my writing goes, and what my prose seem to match.

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Any of the scenes in The Reconciliation of Oberon and Titania that allude to the specific art pieces. The Great Wave Off Kanagawa and The Birth of Venus sections in particular, which I'll include here for the sake of the question.

The Great Wave Off Kanagawa

In blue silks she splayed upon the floor of her own gallery. White-capped waves upon the crashing seas of bunched silk was her flesh, and her body pulled upwards, upwards, yearning, needing, craving the touch of her sickening unseen moon. With sexual need and the heat of a churning sea, she tipped the boat of Marika’s hand, pushing and pulling her with the force of a storm beyond tides and nightly whims. She screamed with a siren pitch. She moaned with muffled pleasure, head under her own waves as she was conjured tempest-like into howling climax. The great wave crashed and with it came her hips upon the silks and her cry of pleasure into the cream night.

The Birth of Venus

Like Venus exalted in newborn ecstasy upon her scalloped bed, Marika arched for her and laid her naked body before her in the wanting of a child. She cried out like she was experiencing the pleasure of touch upon her body for the first time, new virginity pried from between her pearl-dropped salt-slicked thighs, split open upon her birth. An opening of her own shell, a spreading of her downy dove wings, the blooming of her tear-stained red rose, before she would be spoilt and numbed to pleasure through her own lust for it ever onward.

66. What’s a fun fact about Eternity's Embrace?

Besides the two earlier versions of it I've talked about before and the working title it had when I was drafting it, the version of Eternity's Embrace that got posted started life as a hybrid Breath of the Wild AU for Liara x Femshep that got heavily reworked. Tali took the place of Urbosa hence her remaining a close ally of Liara's in Eternity's Embrace despite there maybe not being a huuuge amount of justification for that in canon (they are best friends in my imagination)

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

I suck so bad at writing advice! I just write and that's the honest truth, I have no tips, I have no advice, except don't listen to anyone purple your prose if that's how you want to write please I'm begging you. And read more, and not just fic. Read books, and read lots of them, and make sure they're varied! But that's really it, read more and write exactly how you want, if someone says no write more like this. kill them.

tysm bestie <3

#fanfic ask game #I don't care how long this is #look at my asks boy

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dragonsarecool · 5 months ago

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June of Doom Day 10 - Phone Call

A/N: Marty finds history repeating itself as he has to save the day once again…at age forty-seven. Set during the good timeline in 2015.

His shoulders sagged with annoyance as he set his guitar aside, his peaceful living room now disturbed by the godawful ringtone his kids had set up for him. "What now?!"

The irritation quickly faded, however, when Marty saw the caller ID and realised what time it was. "Junior?"

That's odd.

That's really odd.

Junior never calls…he's one of those kids who has to text everything.

Aw shit, was I supposed to do the school pick-up today?!

No hang on, it's Tuesday. They do the bus on Tuesday. So why isn't he home yet? It's after four thirty!

Realising he should probably answer the phone instead of staring at it, Marty tapped the screen and put it on speaker. "Kid, did you forget to tell me about another tutoring session, or-"

"DAD!" Junior blurted out, seemingly out of breath. "Dad, oh my God…please! HELP!"

"Junior?" Marty's mind was buzzing with a thousand questions, though he tried to push aside the initial confusion and uneasiness. "Junior, wh-what's going on?" He's never sounded this scared before…

"Dad, p-please! T-They're too…fast…for me!"

"Who?! What's going on, kid?!" Marty couldn't help the panic rising in his voice. "Talk to me, Junior!"

"Dad, Dad he-mmph!"

Junior's voice disintegrated into unintelligible mumbles, with the unmistakable sounds of a struggle sending chills down Marty's spine. "Junior! Junior, what's going on?"

The audio cracked as Junior's phone seemingly tumbled out of his grasp and slammed into the ground. Marty could hear muffled screams in the background, as well as a few people laughing and jeering. "Junior, are you there?!"

"What the hell is this?" A young male voice sneered through the phone. "Awww, did you try ringing daddy to come and get you? How lame is this butthead?!"

Butthead?

I knew that voice was familiar. "Griff!"

"Sorry, but, uh, McFly can't come to the phone right now. He's a bit wound up at the moment!" Griff mocked, laughing hysterically before hanging up.

It's 'tied up', you dork! That's what all the kidnappers on TV say!

The older McFly ran a wrinkled hand through his ever-thinning hair, biting back a barrage of curses he wanted to unleash. Why didn't he just call the police?! Why ring me first?

A grim part of him already knew the answer. The police don't care about dealing with Tannens.

And I was so hoping both of the kids wouldn't get caught up in this 'rivalry' bullshit…

He carefully placed his guitar back in its stand before snatching his keys from the dining table, racing to the car with a bigger stride than what he thought he could achieve at his age. Been a while since we've had a McFly-Tannen showdown…

****

At first, he'd been confused when Marlene had tried to introduce him to the Find My Friends app. "How does this thing find you friends? Don't you have to talk to people for that?"

"Dad, that's not what it means-"

"Well, what's the point of it then?!"

"Dad, it's just called Find My Friends. It's a tracking app, not a social media."

"And what exactly does it track?"

"You, us, Mom; whatever you want to track, really, but most people use it to track their family members and stuff."

Sounds a bit stalker-ish, but whatever. "Can't I just…email you if I need to know where you are?"

"First of all, Dad, that's texting, not email," Marlene rolled her eyes. "And it's so you can track us without having to talk to us."

"…So if you guys aren't back by curfew, I can see if you've been kidnapped or whatever?"

Marlene nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

He wished he hadn't used those exact words, but as he pulled into a parking space outside his old high school, he was now grateful for the newfound knowledge. The crisp evening air made his body involuntarily tremble once he left the cosiness of his Toyota, and he pulled the collar of his turtleneck sweater up further. No wonder the place is deserted, it's frickin' freezing out here.

Okay, so the phone reckons he's still near the school, so they must've grabbed him just after class finished. Marty tried to zoom in on the app, only to curse quietly as he accidentally closed the map. Screw this technology crap; I'll have to rely on old-fashioned detective work.

If I was an asshole, where would I hide my victim?…

The high school and its surroundings had barely changed in the thirty years since he'd graduated, still retaining the dated brick exterior and faded basketball courts. And while it meant his kids complained about how 'ancient' the place was, it also meant all of the nooks and crannies he used to employ to rid himself of Needles still existed.

He found himself strolling through a particular section of the car park that seemed oddly familiar, and he couldn't quite put his finger on why; at his age, all the memories he had of this place tended to blend into a murky haze that he had trouble deciphering.

It wasn't until he gazed at the nearby gymnasium from a certain angle that it clicked; this parking spot was where his father had laid Biff out sixty years prior. Although the lines had been repainted and the nearby trees uprooted, it was enough to give him a fresh wave of deja vu. And that's where the Packard was…and the band's car…Damn, this is heavy.

A faint chorus of laughter caught his attention, pulling him out of the spiral of memories. He listened for a moment before following the sound, fists poised in his pockets in case they were needed. Following the sound took him to the far corner of the school grounds, where the barbed wire fence disappeared and a gate to the maintenance sheds awaited him. The laughter grew louder as he passed through the gate, passing by a collection of narrow alleyways littered with graffiti and overflowing rubbish bins. This must be where Needles did all that crack-

A familiar chuckle startled him, as did the voice. "What, you think you could say no to us?!"

Swallowing nervously, Marty hesitantly peeked his head around the nearest alley corner, his jaw falling open at the sight. Holy shit! Junior!

If he hadn't seen what Junior had been wearing that morning, Marty wasn't sure he could've identified him. His son was thoroughly surrounded by four teenagers who obscured most of his body; all Marty could confirm from this angle was that his hands were restrained behind him, and that Griff was struggling with him in a headlock.

Marty found himself marching down the alleyway without taking the time to think of a plan or an escape route, and he decided he didn't care. This ends now. "HEY!"

His glare softened as the group of teenagers parted at the sound of his voice, allowing him to finally make eye contact with his son. Junior's right eye was now a black and bloodied mess, which complimented the bruise forming along his jawline. A dried trickle of blood extended from one of his nostrils, which Marty prayed wasn't from a broken nose.

The final straw that made his blood boil, however, was seeing the piece of bloodied tape firmly pressed over Junior's mouth. T-This isn't bullying! This is borderline murder!

"Do you bastards mind getting off my kid?!" Marty growled. Hang in there, buddy-

Griff looked up, his expression rapidly changing as he eyed Marty and gave him a disrespectful smirk. "Hey, piss off, you old fart! This don't concern you!" He grunted rudely, releasing the headlock and roughly pulling Junior's head back by the hair. The Tannen sniggered heartlessly at the muffled cry of pain from his captive. "Hey dork, looks like your grandpa is gonna come save you! How pathetic is that?!"

The other teenagers joined Griff in a chorus of mocking laughter, gripping Junior's body tightly as he made a fresh but weak struggle against them, eyes pleading for Marty to intervene.

The senior McFly's composure stiffened as he stormed towards Griff, fists ready at his sides. "For the record, Tannen, I'm his father." How old these assholes think I am?!

"Phhf! We're just having a bit of 'fun' with McFly here, aren't we?" Griff moved Junior's head in a nodding motion, grinning sadistically as the smaller boy gave a pained expression. "See? No need for you to hang around, old man."

Time to try this old nugget again. "Yeah, it's all good fun and shit, Griff, but you're forgetting one thing. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

Falling for the bait, Griff turned his head away long enough for Marty pull his arm back and launch his knuckles directly into the young Tannen's jugular. All four teenagers lost their grip on Junior as Griff tumbled backwards into the alleyway wall, head cracking loudly against the bricks. "GAHH!"

Predictably, Griff's 'friends' took one look at Marty before they instantly turned on their heels and sprinted down the alleyway at a speed that would've rivalled the best Olympians, stumbling as they glanced back in fear of Marty pursuing.

Marty used the opportunity to swoop in and grab Griff by the collar, his eyes ablaze with fury as he prayed this would be the last time he had to be this close to one of Biff's relatives. "I thought I told you dumbasses to get off my kid?"

"M-Message received, loud and clear, McFly," Griff stuttered, the macho persona having evaporated completely. "P-Perfectly-"

Marty wasn't satisfied. He lowered his voice for dramatic effect, praying that it would work for him as it did for Clint Eastwood. "Do I need to make sure the police hear about this? I'm sure they'd love to put you down for kidnapping, assault…might even be able to get you for attempted murder."

The remaining colour in Griff's face evaporated "N-No sir, n-no need n-needed-"

"This isn't gonna happen again, is it?" Marty lifted a finger for emphasis, pointing towards Junior. "Or do I need to have a talk with your old man about how much of a gutless chicken his son is, picking on smaller men than him?"

"N-No, Mister McFly, i-it won't-"

"Good talk, Tannen. Water under the bridge already," Marty casually let go of the teenager's collar, watching with amusement as he scrambled away like a frightened chicken, disappearing around the opposite corner to where his goons had fled. "Say hi to your pop for me!"

The older man let out a quiet chuckle as he cradled his hand. God, that stings more than I remember. Still worth it though.

"Mmmhmm!"

Oh crap! "Junior!"

Marty made a dash to his son's side, ignoring the protests of his ageing joints as he knelt on the ground. He grabbed him under the armpits and hauled Junior into a sitting position, his heart breaking as he saw the mistiness brewing in his son's eyes. "Hey hey hey, bud, it's okay. It's all over, those bastards are gone."

His eyes were drawn to the ugly piece of black tape sealing Junior's lips shut, and he suddenly remembered the last time he'd come home with a suspiciously-red face. "Is this how they've been beating you?"

Junior sniffed quietly and nodded, eyes cast downward in shame.

I guess it's easier than holding him down, but still… "Geez, what a creep," Marty growled. "Maybe I should tell his dad that Griff's got a thing for bondage and see how well that goes down."

His spirits lifted as Junior gave him a muffled laugh. Good to know his sense of humour is still intact. "Right, let's get all of this of you."

He forced his fingernails underneath the adhesive and ripped it away before Junior had time to blink. Marty cringed as his son groaned, as well as the reveal of red, raw skin around Junior's mouth. Good thing he hasn't grown any facial hair yet. "Did they hurt you anywhere else?"

The younger McFly took a moment to regain his voice, stretching his newly-freed jaw. "…Holy shit, Dad! That was amazing!" Junior's face was alight with admiration. "I didn't know you could fight like that!"

He was surprised at his son's reaction, though he kept that thought private as he inspected the ropes binding Junior's hands. I only punched him once, but still… "Givin' your old man some credit, huh?" Marty quipped. "Told you I used to be good."

"That was so cool though!" Junior shifted his position, making it easier for Marty to reach the knots. "I've never seen Griff act like a whimp before!"

As heartwarming as it was to have his son praise him, Marty decided it was time for answers. "What happened, Junior? Why'd they gang up on you like that?"

Junior gazed numbly at his lap, cheeks blushing as red as his jacket. "Um, well…that's kinda the second time today they've jumped me-"

"What?! Junior, what's-"

"It was in-between classes! T-They wanted me to help them with this 'heist' or whatever. Said they'd make it 'worth my while'," Junior blurted out bitterly.

This is sounding awfully familiar. "…And I'm guessing you said no?"

"Yeah. I, uh, I-I told them to go to hell the first time, a-and to leave me alone the second, but, uh," Junior shrugged his shoulders, gesturing at his current predicament. "They, uh, didn't like those answers."

So even in this timeline, he says no! That's my boy! Marty allowed himself a private smile before voicing his thoughts. "You mean, Griff didn't like your answers."

Junior blinked for a moment. "Oh. Yeah. His friends didn't say much about it; it was all him."

Marty shook his head, muttering as he fumbled with the knots. "They never change…"

"Who?"

"Biff. Needles. Griff. Despite the age gaps, they're all the same: cowardly idiots who use intimidation and violence to get people to do what they want," Marty explained. "Even in my workplace there's a few guys like that, though we don't go fighting each other like teenagers."

"So there's always gonna be people like them?!" Junior's voice carried a hint of despair. "Then what's the point?"

"The point is," Marty undid the last of his son's bonds, shoving the coil of rope into his pocket, "that you stood up to them. You didn't let them bully you into something you didn't wanna do. And I'm proud."

Junior stopped scratching the rope burns on his wrists, gazing at his father in surprise. "R-Really?"

"Really."

"B-But I couldn't fight them off! I-"

"Physical strength doesn't matter when it comes to bullies, Junior," Marty said gently, tilting Junior's face towards him. "They may be able to physically beat you, yes, but the one thing they cannot fight against is a victim who won't play along with their delusions. That's how your Grandpa George manage to win against Biff, Griff's dad, despite having the muscles the size of a twig. And it surprised the bastard enough to stay off of dad's back for good."

Geez, do I sound like a preacher or what?

Junior thought quietly for a few moments before nodding his understanding. "…T-Thanks again, Dad. F-For saving me."

"All good, kid. Just you wait until Grandpa George and I pay Griff and his dad a visit," Marty snickered, groaning as he hoisted himself and Junior up from the freezing pavement. "He'll be sorry he ever even looked at you."

Junior adjusted his cap before giving his father a questioning look. "Are you gonna kick his ass too?"

"Who? Biff?"

"Yeah!"

Marty snickered, his thoughts taking him back to the night of the Under the Sea Dance. "Nah. We broke his nose once and that was more than enough."

"Wait, seriously?!"

Shit. Probably shouldn't have said that. He shrugged off his overcoat and tucked Junior's shivering form into it. "Come on, kiddo. Let's get you cleaned up and get some ice for that eye, and then you can help me figure out which chord progression to use for this song I'm workin' on."

"Sweet!…But how the hell did you break his nose?!"

Marty wrapped an arm around his son's shoulders, pulling him in fondly. "I'll tell you when you're older, Junior."

You're gonna need a few drinks to make sense of it all, anyway.

#bttf #back to the future #whump #fanfiction #juneofdoom #june of doom 2024

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