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viiisenyas · 2 years ago

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I know I posted like two days ago, BUT I finished up Cullen’s POV of my ‘Destruction of Lothering’ Chapter and I figured I’d share it. I honestly felt bad for him. For like a second. Warnings: Torture

He was silent as he stored the letter addressed to Trevelyan’s mother in the small chest full of Elliott’s scarce belongings. He volunteered to pack The Knight-Corporal’s things to send them back to Ostwick as the other Knights tended their duties.

He hadn’t left the Templar quarters in days. It was the only place where he felt peace after the mages returned from Ostagar. Rumours grew legion among them— whispers of the Tevinter’s disappearance and Trevelyan’s desertion. But Cullen knew better. It was a ridiculous assumption. Elliott didn’t abandon the Order— he never would. He was proud to serve the Chantry and the Maker.

The memory of his last interaction with Elliott pressed into the forefront of his mind. He remembered reporting the Tevinter’s frequent excursions with Amell to Trevelyan after the Harvestmere celebration when he saw them again. He remembered Trevelyan’s eyes narrowing, jaw clenching.

Are you certain of this, Rutherford? I saw them, Trevelyan. We must to bring this to Greaigor’s attention. And why haven’t you done anything about it?

Elliott narrowed his eyes as Cullen paused and cast his gaze downward. He didn’t want to admit that his curiosity of her got the best of him. He didn’t want to admit that he floundered in his duty in favour of his desires.

Andraste’s ashes, Cullen. First Surana, now the Tevinter?

Cullen’s expression soured at the mention of the elf. He didn’t mean to kill her.

You said you wouldn’t speak of her again. I cleaned up your mess when I disposed of her body for you, didn’t I?

Trevelyan scoffed, and ran his fingers through his golden hair before folding his arms over his chest.

Look, Irving will do anything to protect his precious little mages, especially that Amell. Informing the Knight-Commander won’t solve your little problem. What are you going to do, then? What you should have done. Greaigor mentioned that she’s going to Ostagar, as am I. She will be dealt with. You aren’t going to kill her, are you? What I decide to do with her is none of your concern, Rutherford.

Cullen gritted his teeth as he closed the chest. He wasn’t sure what Trevelyan was planning, but it was obvious that it didn’t work out in his favour. His mind began to reel with the many possibilities regarding his disappearance, and each conclusion centred around the Tevinter’s hidden malice. Her seemingly innocent nature, soft-spoken words, and doe eyes— it was all a façade.

And Amell’s betrayal of the Circle in favour of another blood mage became all the more clear as Cullen recalled his departure just a week following hers. It was far too well-timed to be a simple coincidence. Their passing of notes, longing gazes at one another... their meetings in the caverns. He didn’t think much of it, then. Now it all made sense. She planned the perfect diversion right under his nose. And in spite of his actions, that weasel still managed to evade punishment for his crimes under the protection of the Wardens.

What wickedness did they plan together against the Order? Was a demon lying dormant within her this whole time?

Distant screams echoing from the stairwell interrupted his thoughts and the air grew cold. Hurried footsteps ascended, growing louder from behind the door, and Cullen’s eyes widened. The door flew open, and he watched as the Knights clamoured, pouring into the quarters.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Cullen exclaimed.

“Uldred has gone mad! They’ve all gone mad!” A Templar cried, slamming the door shut, “Abominations lurk within the tower!”

Cullen’s heartbeat drummed in his ears as blood rushed to his head. His stomach lurched in fear as he heard more shouts resonating from behind the door. The Templar Hall was in complete chaos as the Knights scrambled to barricade the door with bookshelves.

The Knight-Templar quickly rushed to help them. He braced his palms against the sturdy wood and pressed against it with all his strength as he gritted his teeth. The gargantuan bookcase groaned before it toppled in front of the door with a deafening crash.

“There’s too many of them— This won’t hold them off!” A Templar-Recruit sobbed. He was only eighteen.

“Get ahold of yourself, Uriah!” Cullen barked as he clasped the boy’s shoulders, “Remember your training!”

“Where is the Knight-Commander?” Cullen shouted above the rabble.

“Greaigor sealed the doors in the apprentice quarters,” Another Templar answered, “Dieter and I tried to get out, but he refused to open up!”

If he’s already sealed the doors then that means...

Heavy thumps could be heard from behind the bookcase, and he realised more people were attempting to get in. He wasn’t sure if they were mages or more Templars and his stomach twisted once more.

“They are coming!” Uriah whimpered.

Cullen gripped the hilt of his sword, fighting the urge to shiver. The sharp ring of steel reverberated as he unsheathed his blade, and the other Templars followed suit. He could see them trembling with fear, and the Knight-Templar steeled his resolve.

“Come, now. Let us in,” Uldred’s voice was muffled behind the door, “We only want to talk, dear Knights.”

There was a shift in the air and an eerie hum began to drone. Cullen observed the other knights hesitantly lowering their blades. As if in a trance, Uriah dropped his sword, letting it clatter on the stone. The Templars slowly began to walk towards the door and Cullen blanched.

“What are you fools doing?!”

His exclamation was ignored. Cullen quickly moved towards Uriah, grabbing his wrist. The boy turned to look at him. His brown eyes were wide with fear and a single tear rolled down his pallid cheek.

“I-I c-can’t…” Uriah started, “I must do this.”

A whisper sounded from Cullen’s left. It was soft, beckoning with gentleness.

I know what it is you want, Knight-Templar. Let us in, and we will give you what you long for.

His joints popped as his body was stretched, and Cullen cried out, miserably behind the dirty handkerchief that had been stuffed into his mouth.

“Now, now, Felicity…” Uldred tutted above him, “We don’t want to maim him just yet.”

The Senior Enchanter turned the wheel of the mechanism, and dread gripped the Knight-Templar’s heart. He could feel his muscles threatening to tear as he was being moved perpendicular to the ground. His weight betrayed his arms, and he let out an agonised growl through the cloth. He clenched his eyes shut and hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

Cullen opened his eyes, breathing heavily as anger rose within him, and he fixed his gaze on the younger mage. His pleading expression went ignored, and he realised that whatever good that existed in her was long gone when her hazel eyes met his, and her full lips curved down into a malevolent scowl. She was always courteous to the Knights, always eager to assist.

He remembered her volunteering to send off the letters he’d written to his family. A kindred spirit, she was. But he was proven to be wrong in his assumptions about her, and the gentle light that beamed through her eyes diminished. All that remained was pure malice.

She was supposed to be good.

“Just kill me.” Cullen whimpered, voice muffled behind the gag.

“What was that?” Uldred taunted, arching a dark brow.

Cullen repeated himself. Mid-sentence, Uldred pulled the handkerchief from between his teeth.

“…Kill me.”

“Kill you?” Uldred chuckled, “No, that won’t do… You will watch as you have watched before, Knight-Templar.” Uldred hissed, grasping his jaw.

Cullen exclaimed as electricity stung his flesh, and his breath hitched. The Senior Enchanter extended his arm in the direction ahead of him and Cullen’s eyes widened in horror as he saw Uriah being freed from the barrier that the blood mages had erected around him.

The boy was delirious, and he swayed as he walked forward before he collapsed.

“Strip him!” Felicity barked.

Cullen’s stomach lurched as three mages crowded around Uriah, and they quickly dismantled Uriah’s armour from his body, just as they had done to him. They ripped his tunic, baring the alabaster flesh of his back and Felicity slid her gaze to Cullen. His bruised lips fell open when she winked, and her mouth twisted into a chilling grin.

Felicity turned on her heel, slowly approaching the others and an elven enchanter handed her the familiar whip that Cullen once saw Trevelyan wielding.

“No! Don’t do this to him, please!” Cullen cried, “He’s just a boy!”

The Templar struggled against the iron that bound his wrists to the platform, and groaned once more, slumping forward in defeat. His entire body ached with hunger and exhaustion.

She ignored his plea as she unravelled the cords. Cullen turned away and shut his eyes before Uldred shocked him again.

“You will watch.”

A crack emitted in the air as Felicity swung the cords. Uriah howled in agony as she struck his back.

“Stop,” Cullen said, weakly.

Another strike. And another. His flesh slowly peeled from his back as the mage viciously flogged him, and Uriah called out for his mother. Cullen’s heart dropped. Many mages had done the same when Elliott and Biff disciplined them. But this was different. It was unprovoked. Undeserving.

Mere minutes felt like hours and Uriah finally slumped forward, and a sick sound rattled in his throat. Felicity pressed the sole of her boot against his back before the boy began to sob.

“Death is too good for you, Ser Knight. I have plans for you.” Uldred released his jaw and stepped away from him.

Cullen fixed his brown eyes to the ceiling and a wave of dizziness overcame him. His skin heated and sweat began to form on his brow. His mouth became dry before a familiar rancid taste coated his tongue, yet nothing came. His stomach had already voided time and again throughout the long week that he had suffered at the hands of the blood mages.

The sound of clinking emitted from below, but Cullen had neither the strength nor the will to turn his gaze. He could feel Uldred’s hands on his ankle, and he realised his shackles were being removed. The Templar felt no relief as he knew what was to come next.

#i physically cringed when i got to the 'undeserving part'#but it fit #*hefty shrug*#wip whenever #while all of this is happening amell is helping bann teagan in redcliffe just to give some context ig

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penelope1597 · 3 years ago

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Woke up to this 🥺 and OBVIOUSLY my mind went to Nick and June, and the different contrasts to June in Gilead and then in Canada in reference to Nick.

This whole season she was just so broken, filled with rage, uncomfortable, undeserving. It’s like she couldn’t find her place in the world, she didn’t fit in. And then we start seeing small tiny cracks in her and all of them have to do with Nick. When she sees Luke in the boat there are a lot of feelings there but most of it is guilt, failure. When they are back at the hotel he keeps looking over at her like she’s this fragile broken thing and she’s the one that offers him peace in the middle of the war she has going on with herself.

When she talks to Holly about Nick there’s that first hint of contentment we see her have. There’s a sense of calm, of nostalgia thinking about him. There’s no fear or trauma or pain, because he doesn’t represent any of that for her. That part of Gilead is also in her but in a totally different way.

That’s why when she’s talking to Luke about Nick she seems so guarded. At first it’s because she obviously doesn’t want Luke to know how she really feels but deep down Nick is her only lifeline. Her sanity, her secret happy memory. She doesn’t share him with anyone because no one understands and simply because it’s hers. When Luke tells her “he’s a big shot commander now….before that changes” he’s implying a few things. One he’s Gilead, he’s a bad man, remember that he did this to us; and of course that that can change. He can be killed or arrested and then we can’t use him. Because that’s what June is supposed to feel about Nick how to use him to her advantage. He has what June told him in the tape present in his mind constantly, and he needed to know. So he uses this cringe conversation to find out. And she reads into the subtle jab and dirt Luke is trying to throw Nick’s way and she responds with “I think he’ll do anything for me….and Nicole”. That was the nail in the coffin for Luke. That’s when he realized the truth about what June really feels and that there’s a lot more that simply getting her pregnant.

And when they meet in 409 it fucking was a complete game changer. For moments it’s June the one with less control when it comes to her feelings for Nick. When they were in Gilead it seemed like she had the control, she held back her feelings I guess to protect herself. It’s like once she got to Canada the realization mixed with the loss was too much and it overflowed. He’s the only one that makes her feel she’s worthy, loved, understood. She doesn’t have to tip toe around him. They have a physical communication and a spiritual connection that goes beyond anything. It’s been proven over and over and I think the bridge scene in 403 was proof of that. After everything she went through, knowing it was him who handed her over, it’s that love that makes her understand and not give a fuck because they are above that.

409 tells us that their love is still there unfaltering and unchanged and that becomes a reality for them in that moment. The moment June hears Nick say her name she has all those feelings hitting her in waves. He’s the only one that has that effect on her and the importance of him using her name since she told him to is also very important. They way they easily fall back to their usual interactions is beautiful. Like time hasn’t changed anything. Nick isn’t one to use words, but his “I should’ve run away with you when I had the chance” is full of so much meaning it actually hurts. It’s his way of telling her he still loves her, thinks about her and most importantly he regrets deeply not having the opportunity to be with her. And right before he kisses her there’s a quick glance at June and she’s desperately hoping for that kiss. You see that pain and desperation all over her face.

And this kiss is full of longing. Of what they can’t have but want so much it hurts. There’s a want and desire there like in most of their kisses but it’s a lot more deeper than that. It’s one of those kisses you hold on to because you feel it in your bones, again it’s all they think they have. And June breaks away because it’s simply too much. The reality of what she’s lost, what she can’t have, what she really wants, the guilt of loving someone that isn’t the one she’s supposed to, and the reality that they belong to two opposing worlds.

She’s free but her heart isn’t free. In Canada she’s trapped with having to fulfill the expectations of who they want her to be in order to be loved. Here she’s simply June to Nick and that is enough because he loves who ever she becomes. In Canada she’s a ghost of who she was, for Nick she is everything. He doesn’t expect anything from her except her happiness and her peace of mind. He doesn’t even expect her to love him back!!!!! 🥺

That’s why people don’t understand the logic behind her kiss in the bridge. Her willingness to forgive him. Actually she has nothing to forgive he didn’t do anything wrong, quite the opposite. He saved her. That’s why they can’t see how meaningful it was that is was Nick who brought Fred for her to kill. We cannot correlate killing someone to loving someone. There are two contradicting notions but here it is one of the most beautiful gestures I’ve seen.

Nick has given June most of what was taken away from her back. He’s just missing Hannah. June gave Nick a purpose and the possibility of being loved and cared for despite his demons. She gave him things he thought he was undeserving of.

That makes their connection cosmic and their love inevitable.

#osblaine #nick blaine #the handmaid's tale #nick and june #june osborne

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veliseraptor · 5 years ago

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Hey I was watching Thor 1 again last night and when I got to the part where Odin found Loki for the first time on Jotunheim I just thought of you since the canon we got was so short I was like, “you know what, I think Lise could actually describe this in a more detailed description,” so I was wondering if you could maybe give us a short baby! Loki and Odin headcanon where Odin found him as a frost giant baby in that temple, decided to take him in and how Frigga reacted when she first met Loki?

Foundling, 3.1k, odin pov, pre-canon, content warning for infant death, not sure if this is my definitive headcanon or not but it was fun to write, thanks to this fic for breaking up at least a little of the writing block I’ve been fighting for the last month, this is almost completely unedited just throwing it out there

The Jotun babe stopped crying almost immediately when Odin lifted him. He blinked, wide eyed, and went quiet. Blue skin changed to Aesir pink, and Odin almost dropped him.

He did not, and several things occurred to him at once.

Firstly, Odin did not know why Laufey would have abandoned his own son to die, but in doing so he had handed Odin an heir to Jotunheim.

Secondly, he was an heir who was a natural shapeshifter and, unless Odin was greatly mistaken, had the makings of a mage as well.

Thirdly, Odin had received word not two weeks past that Frigga had lost the baby she had been carrying and was suffering under the weight of her grief. Their unnamed child could not be replaced, but perhaps...

Fourthly, left alone, this babe would die, either of exposure - so young, he was not made to endure the cold of his native land for too long - or of hunger, or even at the hand of one of Odin’s own soldiers who would not care for his youth, only his blood.

And finally: Odin was, after this long and grueling war, very tired of death.

The decision was made.

“There you have it,” Odin murmured to the baby in his arms. “You are returning home with me.”

The baby closed his eyes and went to sleep. His empty eye socket throbbed, but a small smile tugged at the corner of Odin’s mouth.

It was possible, he considered ruefully, that he had made his decision the moment he’d lifted a crying baby from the ice, and worked backwards from there. But he could live with that.

Odin wrestled for a while over how to bring the babe back to Asgard unnoticed. There was no question that it needed to be unnoticed. Asking his people to accept their king adopting a Jotun child before a formal peace was even made would be too much.

In the end, he swaddled the babe (Loki, he already had a name unspoken in Odin’s mind) in some scraps of a banner, tucked him in a knapsack, and called the Bifrost to bring them home. The young watchman’s eyebrows twitched slightly as he watched Odin pass, but he said nothing. Good lad, Odin thought, and made a note to ensure that he was clear on the need to say nothing in the future, either.

It wasn’t until he had reached the palace and was standing outside the door to the room where Frigga was lying in that it occurred to him that Frigga might not accept a new baby so readily, even - or perhaps especially - after losing her own. What would he do if she rejected him? There were too few he could trust to care for a Jotun baby, and it was imperative for his future plans that he be kept close by.

Odin grimaced. He would just have to find some way to convince her. This would only work with her assent.

He tapped lightly on the door and waited until it opened. It was the new chief healer, who looked awfully young in comparison with Gudrun her predecessor, but by all accounts she was capable. Eir, he thought he remembered.

She seemed surprised to see him. “All-Father,” she said. “I did not hear word of your return. Your eye-”

“I have not returned, officially,” Odin said. “I wished to see Frigga with some privacy, first.” He paused, then lowered his voice and asked, “how is she?”

Eir pressed her lips together, then said, “physically, she is recovering well. But her heart is sore grieved.”

“And Thor?”

“Is well,” Eir said. “With his nurses, since Frigga took to her bed. She has been...reluctant to see him.”

That did not seem to bode well. Odin hesitated, wondering if there was some way of waiting to introduce the baby until Frigga was better.

With a truly spectacular sense of timing, Loki let out a gurgle and began to cry.

Eir’s eyes widened, going to the knapsack he was carefully cradling, and Odin cursed, shoving past her and into the room, pulling her in before closing the door firmly.

“What,” Eir began.

“You must say nothing of what you see here,” Odin interrupted. “Swear secrecy to me.”

“I swear,” she said immediately, without hesitation. Odin did not relax, waiting, and she added, “on the World Tree itself. Is there a baby in your bag, All-Father?”

Odin saw the knob on the inner door turn and could have cursed again. It opened and Frigga stood there in her dressing-gown, pale with dark-circles around her eyes, their usual brightness dulled. “Eir, I thought I heard…”

She trailed off, looking at him. He could see her taking in his eye, still swathed only in a field dressing, and then the knapsack cradled in his arms

“My husband,” she said, and did not sound entirely pleased. Odin glanced at Eir, who looked back at him with an expression of helpless confusion. Loki was still crying.

Odin set the bag down and drew out Loki, who, apparently now awake and indignant at having been transported thus, howled his displeasure. Eir gasped, and Frigga took a step back, her eyes widening as though he held a serpent.

“I found him abandoned on Jotunheim,” Odin said, before either of them could speak. “He would have died if I left him there.”

“So you…” Frigga trailed off, her eyes still fixed on the crying baby.

“Why was he there to begin with?” Eir asked. “An Aesir baby on Jotunheim-”

“He isn’t,” Odin said, trying to rock Loki as he’d rocked Thor, to soothe him. When both women looked at him, frowning, he said, “he isn’t Aesir. He is a shapeshifter. And Laufey’s son.”

Frigga continued to stare, though her blankness was rapidly turning toward something else. Toward anger. “And you want us - want me - to raise him as ours?”

“There is no one else,” Odin said, deciding that mention of his more political thoughts could wait until later.

“Our daughter is scarcely buried,” Frigga hissed, tears springing to her eyes, and green fire twisted around her clenched fists. “Did you know she was a daughter? She will never even receive her name. And you bring this, this foundling to me, as though she was a bauble to be replaced-”

“No,” Odin said. “I didn’t think-”

“Frigga turned her head away. “I hear her,” she said. “I hear her crying when I am half-asleep, somewhere close by. That is what I thought I heard when you came in.”

Odin cringed. “My love-”

“No,” she said. “No. Do not try to-” She took in a gulping breath, and turned on her heel, fleeing back into the room she had just emerged from and slamming the door. And Loki was still crying.

“Let me take him,” Eir said after a few moments of silence. Odin handed him wordlessly over and in her hands he settled, though not entirely. He still seemed agitated, anxious - or perhaps it was just Odin who was agitated and anxious.

“You will need that eye seen to,” Eir said, when he said nothing. “I will look after the babe-”

“Loki,” Odin said automatically, and did not react to Eir’s glance in his direction.

“After Loki,” she said smoothly. “For now.”

Odin sighed. “Thank you,” he said. It was not a permanent solution. Not even close. But until he could work out something more permanent...it was what he had.

He let the healers tend to his eye, covering it with a modest black patch for now, though he would have to have something more grand made to match his armor. He washed, changed his clothes, and went to find his son.

Thor seemed bigger than when Odin had last seen him even a few months before. He was on his feet and toddling toward Odin the moment he saw him with an enthusiastic “Pabbi!” and Odin knelt to lift him up into his arms.

“Have you been good to your nurses, my boy?” he asked.

“I have!” Thor said, and then reached out toward Odin’s face. “What happened to your eye? Did you hurt it?”

“Yes,” Odin said. “I’m afraid so.” Thor frowned, and Odin added, “A Frost Giant took it.” Thor’s eyes went wide, and Odin added, “he can have it! I only need one, anyway.”

Thor didn’t look wholly mollified, but his attention moved on quickly. “Can I see Amma now? And my baby brother?”

So he hadn’t been told, Odin thought unhappily. “Thor,” he began, and then stopped. If Frigga changed her mind - and she still might, he told himself insistently, she still might - Thor needed to believe that Loki was his natural born brother. A child his age would not be able to keep such a secret - and might be less likely to accept him knowing the truth. “Not yet,” he said. “Soon.”

Thor sulked, but not seriously, and not for long. He was young, and resilient, and his exuberance did Odin’s heart good. This war had brought back too many memories, none of them fond.

Thor tugged on his arm. “Did we win?” he asked, bright blue eyes wide. “Did we beat the Frost Giants?”

“Yes,” Odin said. “The fighting’s over. I’m home for good, now.”

Thor beamed. “Did you kill all of them?” he asked brightly, and Odin stopped dead for a moment. His thoughts flashed to the baby and he cleared his throat.

“No,” he said. “That wasn’t what we were trying to do. We just wanted them to go back to their Realm and stop attacking Midgard. And we did that. They’ve learned their lesson, and won’t do it again.”

Thor seemed a bit disappointed. “Oh,” he said. “All right.”

“Tell me what you’ve been up to,” Odin said as he set Thor down, eager to change the subject. “I’ve missed you, my boy.”

As Thor began to chatter, Odin imagined leaving Thor out in the cold, exposed to the elements, and felt a flash of anger. Laufey was a father undeserving of his son. Loki would be better off in Asgard.

When Thor began to flag, Odin turned him over to his nurse and went to find Eir. She had deposited Loki in a cradle in one of the birthing rooms, where he appeared to be asleep.

“How is he,” Odin asked, keeping his voice low.

“To all intents and purposes he appears to be Aesir, albeit with a temperature lower than normal for us,” she said. “But he won’t take formula, and I can’t exactly request a wet-nurse without raising questions.” She paused. “He is weak, and getting weaker.”

Odin blinked. “He seemed fine.”

“It may be the exposure catching up with him,” Eir said, “or the shock of a journey between worlds. Or simply hunger; we have no way of knowing how long he had been left there.” Odin moved over to the cradle and frowned down at him.

“What can be done?”

Eir shrugged. “I know nothing about Jotun infants, and however he appears, I fear that treating him like an Aesir baby might do more harm than good. I would say the most pressing issue right now is nutrition. We could force him to take it, but that has its own risks, and if he is refusing it might be for a reason.”

Odin rubbed his eyepatch where the socket was beginning to ache. “Could you try ordinary breastmilk? Make some excuse…”

Eir pressed her lips together and said, “I’ll see what I can do.” She went out, leaving Odin alone with Loki. After a moment, Odin picked him up, frowning down at him. He stirred with a small, sleepy noise.

“What’s to be done with you,” Odin asked him. “What do you need of us?”

Loki, naturally, didn’t reply. He really did look just like any Aesir baby. If Odin had to give him up to some other family...perhaps he wouldn’t have to tell them anything. Could simply claim that he was a war orphan, and…

No. The entire point of taking the baby in was to provide for a future in which Asgard and Jotunheim need not be at war. That wouldn’t work if he gave him over to be raised as an ordinary, anonymous Asgardian. And besides, Odin did not really want to give him up. He had brought Loki home; that made him Odin’s responsibility.

Of course, none of this would be relevant if he didn’t survive.

He sighed out and set Loki carefully back down. There wasn’t much he could do here. For now, he would just have to trust Eir to manage what could be managed. He set a light spell before leaving, though, that would alert him if anything changed. Just in case.

Odin went back to speak to Frigga, apprehension bubbling in his gut. He knocked softly on her door and waited for her to come and open it. His queen looked far from her usually composed self, and her expression was cool.

“Frigga,” he said. “I must apologize. I was tactless-”

“Is that what you would call it?”

Odin managed to contain his wince. “I didn’t think.”

“That much was obvious.” Frigga moved away from him, her usual grace diminished. “Our daughter is dead, and your first thought is to offer me another’s son?”

Odin faltered. “That wasn’t…” He’d thought it, though, hadn’t he? ‘Tactless’ was the kindest word he could have used. “I am sorry.” Norns, but he hated saying that. Especially when he knew he needed to.

Frigga regarded him. “Do you grieve for her at all?” she asked.

Odin bowed his head. “Of course I do,” he said. “I grieve for a daughter I will never know. But-”

“But,” Frigga hissed. “You grieve, but. I carried her. She lived with me, and I with her, for most of a year. And before she took her first breath, she was gone. And now - and now-” Her voice broke and she took an unsteady breath. Odin reached out and she pulled away. “You do not understand. You cannot. And you were not here.”

“I would have been,” Odin said. “If I could have-”

“But you could not,” Frigga said, “because you were busy fighting for another Realm and plucking strange babies from the ice.”

“That is unfair,” Odin objected.

“Is it? What of it is untrue?” She turned away from him, her hands twisting together.

“My love, I am only asking you to consider - this is a baby. Alone, and abandoned, and helpless. He needs a family. A mother.”

“And that must be me?”

“I…”

“Go,” Frigga said, gesturing toward the door. “Get out. If you will not respect my grief, then leave me to it.”

“Frigga.”

“Go.”

Odin knew when it was not wise to disobey. He left, though he stood outside the door a moment, hearing her start to cry, and wondered if he shouldn’t go back in. In the end, he decided against it, and retreated into the easier world of governance.

Odin fell asleep in his office and woke to the soft chime of the spell he’d set on Loki’s cradle. He sat up, groaned at his protesting back muscles (Norns, when had he gotten old) and hurried toward the room where Odin had left him sleeping. Already preparing himself for the worst. Telling himself that if Loki died - well, better here than abandoned on the ice, surely.

He took a breath before letting himself in. He expected Eir to be there, but she was not.

“Frigga,” he said.

“I sent Eir away,” she said, her back to him where she stood in front of the cradle. “I did notice your spell. Keeping an eye on your investment?”

Odin grimaced. “I wanted to know if anything changed.”

“Changed,” Frigga said. “Do you mean, if he died? Eir said he was weak.” While Odin was still figuring out how to answer, she turned, and Odin realized that she was holding him. Holding Loki, her expression difficult to read. “I wanted to see him. This baby you plucked from another Realm and brought into our house.”

“And?” Odin said cautiously.

“He is what I might have expected: small, and helpless, and innocent of all that you or I would place on him.”

“That is so,” Odin said carefully.

Frigga looked down at Loki in her arms, her expression solemn. “You said he was left there,” she said. “Just...left.”

“Yes,” Odin said. “Abandoned. Because of his size, I imagine. It is also possible he is half-blooded on his mother’s side, whoever she was. Vanir, perhaps.”

“Who would just throw away a baby to die,” Frigga murmured, eyebrows knitting together.

“I cannot explain it,” Odin said.

Frigga swayed back and forth. “There is no one else, is there,” she said. “He has no one else.”

“No,” Odin said. “He hasn’t.”

Frigga sighed, something aching in her expression. At long last, she sighed. “You would claim, then, that I didn’t - lose the baby after all,” she said, sounding nothing so much as resigned. “That it was a rumor, and a difficult birth, but the child survived. You would use our tragedy to mask your lie.”

Odin winced. “They will not accept him with the truth,” he said. “The outcry...frost giants are not well thought of, here. Especially not now. He would be hated just for being what he is, even if he doesn’t look it.”

“I understand,” Frigga said. “It is convenient timing, I suppose.” The bitterness in her voice was thick enough to cut.

“My love…”

“I know.” Frigga sighed and stopped swaying, shifting her hold on Loki. “Fine. I’ll do it. But not for you, husband. For him. An unintended casualty of this war. And I will try to love him for what he is, and not hate him for what he is not.”

Odin bowed his head. “Thank you.”

“And will you?” Frigga asked. Odin looked up, and she said, “love him for what he is? I know you, my husband. You do nothing for only sentimental reasons.”

“Not only,” Odin said after a brief pause, “but partially.”

“And for the rest? No, I can guess.” Frigga was still looking down at Loki, brushing a finger against his cheek. “A father is not the same thing as a tactician, Odin. You should remember that.”

Odin frowned at what felt like a rebuke, but said only, “I understand.”

Loki roused with a faint and fragile cry. Frigga turned away from Odin, though he saw her face soften. “He hasn’t eaten,” Odin volunteered. “Not since I brought him back.”

Frigga sighed. “Well,” she said, “let’s start with that. Has he a name?”

“Loki,” Odin said.

Frigga made a bit of a ‘hm’ sound. “Loki,” she repeated. “It’ll do.”

#anonymous #the family odinson #frigga is hbic #odin's mediocre parenting #a wild fic appeared #i actually...feel okay about this one

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merusthedivineangel · 5 years ago

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Visiting The Garden 1

@ask-whitepearl-and-steven) Using their version of Steven for this story. This takes place around the time of the movie, so I presume all the Pink Diamond stuff will be out of the way and explained like in the movie.

In the cosmos, there was a small asteroid decorated in faded pink temples. Everything was worn away with due time, forgotten and lost to time. The life had long since faded, the structures cracked and old. The simple touch could cause certain parts to crumble like sand. The whole place was lifeless and abandoned. Well almost.

In the middle of the lifeless garden stood a short petite gem with thin arms. Her eyes once vibrant and filled with joy were drained of the color that once occupied them. Her expression was one of melancholy and despair. Her outfit was torn, her eyes had dark circles under them. Her foot had been rooted to the ground, shoes messy as can be. Her hair was a unkempt, her left heart now falling apart. It had been six thousand years. Six thousand miserable, unending, worthless, years. Pink had left her in the garden, under the pretense of a game of some kind. Of what, she wasn’t sure, given all she remembered were the Diamond’s words.

“Here in the garden, lets play a game. I’ll show how its done. Here in the garden, stand very still.” She remembered her enthusiasm at the request of her diamond.”This will be so much fun!” She visited her sweet smile, her diamond’s laughter was her most beautiful feature. Though now that she thought about it, something was off with her smile when she remembered it. She couldn’t place it, but it was like Pink was satisfied with herself about something.

When her diamond turned her back and left, the last thing that remained was her figure before the teleporter caused her to drift away. That was the last sight of Pink she had before she was gone.

As the years painfully drew by, she wondered what type of game she was playing. Standing still, not moving a muscle as she did so. Life began to fade away around her, her happiness as well. She wondered if this was how her game worked, if she was doing it right.

Spinel sighed.’Maybe Pink will come back eventually.’

Though her hopes were dulled and faded. The enthusiastic chant in her head that once asserted that Pink would come back one day had fallen silent a few millennia’s ago.

Suddenly, a sound was made. It was the sound of the warp pad. She hadn’t heard that in years....Could it be? Her Diamond had finally returned! Her eyes however, were once again filled with disappointment and confusion. What’s this? An organic lifeform with ashy skin and silver hair appeared, wearing a strange jacket and pants. Another was a taller gem, adorning pink curly hair and a strange white dress.

That wasn’t her Diamond. Nobody should have access to this place.

“Rose...What is this place? We must’ve mixed up warp pads or something." “Hmm....Its a garden....I recognize this place...Its been so long.” The smaller lifeform noticed Spinel,”Hey...What the heck? Rose, why is there a gem here? Earlier, you said there is no one here.”

Rose immediately stiffened, seeing Spinel standing there.”Oh no...” “Oh no? Rose...why is she here? Shouldn’t be on homeworld? Do you know her or something? Something I haven’t been informed of?” He knew Rose well enough that she had a lot of skeletons in the closest. Though this was a bit unexpected.

“Steven, we should leave. Now.” “What? We are not leaving. This gem needs help. Let me try talking to her.” Steven walked over to Spinel, who remained still as he approached.”Hey. What’s your name?” “......” “Hey. I know you can talk. Mind saying something?” “You’re not my Diamond.” “What?” “You’re not my Diamond.” “Uh....Hey ‘You're not my Diamond, pleasure to meet you.” Spinel stared at him, her eyes void of any emotion. The attempt to add humor dissipated as soon as it came.

Steven cringed.”Ooh boy. Alright. Listen, we kinda just found this random warp pad and we ended up in this creepy...abandoned, weird, garden thing. Do you know anything about this place? You look like you’ve been here for some time.” “I’ve been here for 6000 years, counting every second that goes by. This garden is not mine however.” “Then whose is it?” “Pink’s. Pink Diamond used to play in this garden on a regular basis. I was...her best friend. We were happy, I made her smile, she gave me laughter. Everything was just peachy, until one day, Blue and Yellow Diamond informed her of a new colony they gifted her. Pink was so happy, I’ve never saw her so overjoyed in my life. I wanted to go with her, so we could play, but instead, she told to stand in the garden for a game. And I waited....and I’m still waiting. I wonder when she’ll come back, because a part of me believes that she never planned on returning. Though I hope I’m simply being wrong, even after all these years.” Steven’s expression hardened.”Oh my god. Please tell me youre lying.” “I would never lie about this.” Steven sighed,“Rose. Come here, now.” “Steven, I-” “Rose. Explain.” Rose didn’t say anything. She looked at Spinel, the old toy she discarded had aged and lacked her enthusiasm. This wasn’t how she remembered Spinel. The Spinel she remembered was happy and smiling, clingy and possessive. Hardly like the lifeless gem before her. It was rather scary seeing someone so positive look like this.

“Rose. Did you hear me? Explain. Come on, she deserves an answer.” “Spinel...I...”

“I don’t even know you...I’ve never heard of a Rose before.”Spinel narrowed her eyes. She never heard of any Rose.

“Well I um...I...” “Rose. Say it. It’ll be smoother if you do.” “Spinel, its me.” “Its who? I don’t know you.” “Its me. Pink.” “What.” Spinel replied in disbelief.”Is this supposed to be some type of cruel joke? You’re not Pink. I refuse to believe that you are my Diamond. There’s no proof.” “Spinel, I understand this is a lot to take in. But you have to believe me. I’m Pink Diamond.” “No you’re not.” “I am.” “Not.” “I am.” Rose said, slightly irritated by Spinel’s stubbornness.

“Rose, this is not going anywhere. Show her physically.” Rose paused. She wasn’t used to going in her old form. It had been a while since she had. She lowered her head.”Oh....Alright.” She shapeshifted, now pretending herself in her original form, dress and all.

Spinel’s eyes widened.”Pink....You...You came back.You finally came back!” After all these years! “Erm...Well...about that..” “What do you mean, about that? You finally came back! 6000 years and I thought it was all for nothing! Here I thought you abandoned me on this decaying asteroid! Now we can finally be friends! I knew you didn’t forget about me!” “Spinel...” “What?” The half gem cringed,“We had no idea you were here. We just happened to stumble on a warp pad that lead us here. No one knew you were here. Nobody even mentioned at any point.” Her face fell,”What?” “Spinel, I’m afraid that...everyone just forgot about you. Pink never mentioned you back on Earth.” Spinel’s expression became dark.”That can’t be true! Pink, you can’t tell me you forgot about me! I was your best friend, there was no way you could’ve just abandoned me right? Right!?” Pink’s silence filled the void for what her words didn’t offer.

Spinel began twitching. For the first time in 6000 years, her foot finally began to move. She ripped the rooted branch from her foot and began stumbling towards Pink. Pink’s expression was one of shock. Never before had she seen Spinel look at someone with seething hate and rage. Spinel wasn’t designed to experience those emotions, she wasn’t meant to be serious.

Steven looked terrified. He knew when gem’s got angry, it would get ugly soon after. “Spinel, I didn’t mean t-” “Yes you did. Pink, don’t mistake my naivate for stupidity. I’m not an idiot. I can think for myself. And its pretty clear from this fleshy Steven guy, what you did. You left me on this asteroid to rot, duping me into a stupid game, just so you could run off to that NOWHERE planet with a bunch of NOBODIES! Gee, that sure worked out didn’t it! Not only did you lose little old me, but you got to have fun and play games on that stupid ROCK! And I bet you made plenty of OTHER FRIENDS, guess it wasn’t that hard to replace me now was it?” Pink didn’t reply. There was no proper response to what Spinel said. “You can’t even answer for yourself. Because you know I’m right. Well that’s just swell! Here I was thinking you actually cared! Well clearly you’re undeserving of such a thought!” “Spinel, please. Listen to me, I know what I did wasn’t the best but I had a reas-” “Wasn’t the best!? You left on this stupid asteroid for 6000 years and all you have to say is that it wasn’t your best call of action!? You can’t even must up an apology!?” “....” Pink was never good at apologizing. Steven knew that first hand how bad she was at carrying them out.

“Don’t have anything to say do you? I should expect as much.” She seemed ready to hit Pink, but Steven intervened.”Spinel, don’t attack her. It won’t solve anything.” “Oh, so now the flesh suit is talking to me. What? Are you gonna say how I’m being irrational or something?” “No. Your anger is completely justified. What Pink did was inexcusable, but harming her wouldn’t solve the issue. What need now, is friends who can help you.” “Friends? And where am I going to get those?” “You can come with us to Earth. We’ll take you there. Heck, maybe we can sort this thing. So that maybe, you and Pink can be-” “No.” “Huh?” “....I......DON’T....WANT....TO....BE......HER......FRIEND.” Spinel’s voice was dripping with malice and hatred.

His face softened.”Oh. Well, I can’t blame you. I’d probably react the same way honestly. I understand you not trusting Pink anymore and not wanting to be her friend, but try giving Earth a chance.” She darkly chuckled,“Earth? You that rock that she was quick to abandon me for? That she didn’t even colognize?”

Pink didn’t say anything.

“Yes. Earth is much better uncolonized and it has....other gems that you can be friends with. I’m certain you can make friends with people like Bismuth or Lapis. What do you say?” Spinel growled.”Fine. I’ll go, not because I want to, but because I’m tired of being in this garden.” “Good. We’ll show around and we’ll try cleaning you up too.” Steven grabbed Spinel by the hand. She noticed the large horn coming out of his head.”Hey, is that a gem on your head?” “Yeah.” “Where’d that come from?” “I’m White Diamond’s son. Long story, I’ll explain later.” Spinel blanked. White Diamond had a son? How was that....nevermind. She’ll ask later. Though Pink had since shapeshifted into her Rose persona, the glare Spinel gave did not waver. Rose looked away from her former playmate, ignoring the guilt in her stomach.

Done! Hope you enjoy.

Before you ask, the message never comes up here. Spinel had no idea about the whole Rose Quartz war thing so yeah.

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momestuck · 6 years ago

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Epilogues: Candy, ch 29-38 (Epilogue 7)

Hoo boy, she’s back. *rubs hands together, cackles*

...actually having read the chapter that’s not a lot to get excited about. content note that this epilogue features a physical assault turning into a sexual assault, and then its aftermath and further violence, in chapters 32 and 37.

also like heavy depression and ennui in general

Chapter 29

...is so short it fits entirely on my screen.

Whatever alt-Calliope has been waiting for, hanging about on the asteroid, is here. Not ‘the Prince’ (i.e. Caliborn), but... someone.

Not Vriska either, we can presume, given the use of ‘he’ pronouns.

Chapter 30

Jake, laying it on rather thick, goes to Jane with bad news. Her father is apparently dead, having (supposedly) taken a bullet rocket for ‘the human president’ to save him from one of Karkat’s assassins. There is no body to dispose of, because his body was destroyed.

This has ‘obvious ruse to cover a defection’ all over it to me, but Jane wouldn’t see that I guess.

Jane takes this the prompt to escalate her war against the trolls to full-blown genocide - total war of extermination, shouting like a cartoon villain. Gamzee, the only troll present... jokingly calls this xenophobic - and turns it into a flirt.

Jane decides now’s the time to stop this whole hateflirting thing, and has her guards take ‘this troll’ off her bridge. To be executed with all the other trolls, presumably. Though he’s not dead on-screen yet.

It’s a very strange mix of cartoon-villain ridiculousness, ordinary ridiculousness, and like... the word genocide.

Chapter 31

Back to John and Vriska, with pretty much no time having passed. John gets her up to speed. Her reaction is predictable...

(VRISKA): ...

(VRISKA): That’s...

(VRISKA): Th8t’s the........

(VRISKA): Stupidest *F8CKING* thing I’ve ever heard!

Also she’s the (Vriska) in this scenario, because Vriska Lalonde was ‘here first’ lol

Anyway, Vriska confirms very definitely that Lord English is not dead, she was indeed on the battlefield, and she’d prefer to get back there. John brings her up to speed - by this point he’s blaming himself for the decision that broke ‘cause and effect’; everyone got what they thought they wanted and it turned out to be a horrific catastrophe.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, Gamzee - who is not, it seems, dead - shows up. He attempts to set this incandescently angry Vriska on the course of “redemption”...

Chapter 32

This chapter features Vriska beating the absolute shit out of Gamzee for... a whole lot of paragraphs. I guess everything Gamzee was all just setup for this.

This features a lot of named moves, like European-style Uppercut and Reverse Hangman. Probably a wrestling thing.

Which, well, I thought this was just going to be a fandom-catharsis, what if Vriska (avatar of People Who Like Vriska) fucked up Gamzee (avatar of Those People Who Like Vriska Dislike) really fucking hard, but I reckoned without V ‘lick the troll’s armpit’ and her sense for the perverse. tl;dr: Vriska beats the shit out of Gamzee, Gamzee gets horny for it, starts licking her foot; Vriska goes and starts a hate-makeout with him.

The existence of kismesisitude really fucks with any concept of telling someone to go and get fucked, huh. Literally no fucking clue what to make of this at this point.

Chapter 33

Rose comes to talk to John. At this point, it’s very clear that things are far from the rails of ‘canon’, whatever that means anymore.

It’s nice to have Rose back, to say some longwinded philosophical bullshit. She talks about happiness, by way of her wizard fanfiction: in short the implication is that knowing one is in ‘heaven’ destroys (the ability to enjoy) it.

ROSE: But that isn’t me anymore.

ROSE: I am blind against the veil of this world.

ROSE: It’s all ambrosia to me.

ROSE: I don’t care if it’s not true. I care even less if it’s not canon.

ROSE: I have a beautiful wife who I love more than I thought possible, and a daughter who I am immeasurably proud of.

ROSE: It can all be senseless, ephemeral noise that dissolves in the void. A whisper swept up by the wind before it’s uttered.

ROSE: I’m still grateful to have felt this way.

Glad someone isn’t miserable.

The chapter ends with a hug as the bombs go off, and John deciding ‘finality’ was always his to decide, now they are no longer part of ‘the story’.

Chapter 34

Back to Vriska Lalonde and Harry Anderson. Vriska’s involved in the war, although not taking it all that seriously at all. Apparently this Vriska is having a kismesis with Tavros, although rather tame compared to the Alternian version.

They have a fairly inconsequential conversation and then Vriska catches sounds of Gamzee, and goes to investigate... and comes face to face with (Vriska) hatefucking Gamzee, I guess.

Homestuck... was a mistake?

Chapter 35

Vriska POV chapter.

She’s having a meltdown over having just made out with Gamzee. This includes dwelling briefly on her own Awful Childhood:

She remembers the shame and excoriation of her childhood—the fear, the pressure, being coerced to do awful things to undeserving kids. All that embarrassing effort she spent trying to emulate her ancestor. She threw every bit of herself into the role, but in recent years reflecting on the charade has only made her cringe.

If this is going to be going through the same beats as Gamzee’s joke “redemption arc”, that would be something.

Anyway, Vriska furiously demands Gamzee not tell anyone - Gamzee, meanwhile, is starting to feel, more and more, that ‘he was taken advantage of’, that what just happened was sexual assault - that he’s outright feeling unsafe as a result.

I am really fucking lost as to what this is all “saying”, at this point. Is the point that, by making Gamzee out to be so reprehensible, we inclined not to sympathise when he’s sexually assaulted? To like, look out for those we hold to be disposable, to recognise that even shitbags can be harmed?

Perhaps there isn’t a conscious point.

Regardless, Vriska is so desperate to brush over what she’s done that she chokes him to death. He’s not a ‘real’ God tier, so she can just do that. Unfortunately for her, Vriska Lalonde is there to bear witness.

Chapter 36

Back to John, who is contemplating existentialism. Only for... Jake to arrive, having finally fled his horrific abusive relationship with Jane.

Love that letter J.

Anyway John is so apathetic now that he can barely bring himself to care about Jake more than ‘a sim stuck in a pool’, but he does manage to get shaken out of it by realising there’s a kid stuck in the equation.

Jake’s question... was I a bad person? Jake says he’s so used to letting other people control him, he never took responsibility when it mattered.

John makes a token effort to encourage Jake to look to the future - and Jake suddenly brightens up in a way that’s clearly suggesting something is still very much up. He invites John to dance.

It’s all a bit much huh.

But it’s enough to convince John that even if this Roxy isn’t ‘real’, he still ought to make up with her.

Chapter 37

Vriska [Vriska Lalonde] and (Vriska) [Vriska Serket] catch up, which means the text colours and the character prompts are quite difficult to distinguish.

Vriska Serket laments that John is an idiot, but holds power that the rest of the cast could never hope to have (his retcon powers etc.). Vriska Lalonde is dismissive.

Vriska Serket reminisces about the awful shit she’s done in her life - to Tavros, to Terezi, to the other Vriska who was, for a while, happy in the dream bubbles. She tries to convince Vriska Lalonde that this is bad, and not to be like her. She’s not very convincing.

But utlimately... they come round to talk about Terezi. Not by name, though.

(VRISKA): May8e that’s why I h8’d my ghost self so much?

VRISKA: Why?

(VRISKA): 8ecause I just had a sense.

(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her...

(VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.

(VRISKA): Don’t get me wrong, we had a nice time for a few years living on that meteor.

(VRISKA): It was a good, sta8le pale relationship. 8ut that’s all it was.

(VRISKA): We couldn’t really connect in a deeper way 8ecause I was still... the way I am, I guess?

(VRISKA): Layers and layers of armor and defenses.

(VRISKA): And I had some mysterious feeling that weak ghost version of myself was always meant to form the kind of connection with her that I never could, 8ecause she didn’t have any of that stuff getting in the way.

At that point it comes out that Vriska Lalonde nicked John’s phone, giving Vriska Serket the chance to finally... well first read back their entire conversation, and then at last to text her.

Chapter 38

God this particular Epilogue is going on a bit huh! There’s only two chapters left for the final one.

There is also very little room for any sort of ‘resolution’. Of relationships, maybe... we might get to see Terezi and Vriska reunited at last. But the war and so on... are not going to be wrapped up in three chapters, though they’re not the point. The metaphysical weirdness is unlikely to receive much of an explanation.

It’s going to be a bittersweet ending, at best...

Anyway we open with Roxy, looking forward to meet up with John again. It’s nice to finally get a little Roxy POV.

John tries to explain his whole theory that the ‘candy’ choice has basically robbed everyone else of choice. Roxy meanwhile is rather back to her old self - perhaps she never left it. She won’t have any of it. She wasn’t acting like a doormat to John because of some metaphysical non-canonicity bullshit - that was just where she was.

JOHN: i just kept wanting to find ways to make everything make sense, you know?

JOHN: but maybe it just fucking doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups in a world built specifically n cosmically for us

ROXY: so i get wanting to find a pattern in everything

ROXY: but not everything has 2 b that deep

so then they move on and we finally learn a bit about where Roxy’s been at that’s not filtered through John’s perspective. It turns out that Roxy is our putative nb character I guess:

ROXY: i had all these conflictin thoughts abt how to be me in the first place

ROXY: like what it meant to date a beautiful skull alien

ROXY: sexualitywise and genderwise and person in generalwise

ROXY: for a while there i didnt know if i wanted ppl to think of me as a woman at all

But ultimately... she just drifted apart from Callie, and it wasn’t something she felt comfortable talking about with John.

I’m not going to just quote this entire chapter, but there’s some compelling, truthful stuff about Roxy’s self-conception around gender, how it changed when she got pregnant... obviously my experience of transness is in some ways quite a different one, but still.

Roxy speaks of like, the future to come, that she’s expecting to change in many more ways yet, that it doesn’t matter if it’s the ‘most true’ path, but it’s the one she’s on... it sounds corny summarised like that, but it feels a lot more real than Jake’s whole thing.

end of epilogue 7

so adulthood huh... adulthood is a fuck. being human in general is a fuck. fucked up that we gotta be a bag of seawater with a subjectivity and all that.

we’re moving to the end here. the struggles... the war and so on... it’s not really about that, they’re just set dressing. the point is just, what it is to live in a world as fucked up and pointless as this one, I guess. classic existentialism jazz. (editor’s note: bryn has not read an existentialist philosopher in her life, and the extent of her knowledge of the subject begins and ends with the videogame NieR: Automata.)

the struggles within that cycle...

#momestuck

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nicolehampton · 4 years ago

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NICOLE AND ZEKE PARA 001.

TAGGED: @zekehq & @nicolehampton TRIGGERS: n/a

NIKKI.

looking down at her the time on her phone nicole could almost feel her rolling eyes meet the back of her head. dating wasn’t her thing anymore, she’d done the whole ‘meet the love of your life, fall in love, have a kid, get married (or almost get married... twice)’ thing, the rebound turned toxic - broke her down to almost nothing, and the guy who was too nice and she probably would’ve destroyed a year down the road. it just… didn’t work, over time nicole had accepted that. she sat there with half a mind to text jordyn something offensive about making her get out of bed, get dressed up, just to meet some random person who she wasn’t going to have any interest in but instead, she locked and tossed her phone back into her purse & polished off the wine in her glass. if she was dressed up, sitting at a table for two, she wasn’t gonna let zeus’ sitter go to waste. the blonde chose to wine & dine herself (more wine than dine), go back home, crawl into bed, & pretend this ever happened. stopping a waiter, the femme asked kindly to be brought the bottle she’d been sipping on and fought the urge to call someone to fill the seat. that would’ve been pointless because madi was at home with her newborn, as was olivia, and she couldn’t think of a friendly way to text her ex to save her because she got stood up. though fate itself seemed to have other plans. after the bottle of wine had been brought to the table, and nicole filled her glass just enough to get through another twenty minutes of acting like she willfully went out to dinner by herself, her green eyes flickered up towards the door, zeke immediately commanding full attention - until the gut wrenching idea of him being there on a date too struck some sort of cord. did that stop her from smiling like an idiot? absolutely not. she did however wait a minute or two to see if some undeserving, all too beautiful (for her own liking) creature walked in to join him. that felt like the longest 120 seconds of her life, but she lost no time in grabbing her phone and sending an almost all too obvious, “you look too good to be sitting at that bar alone” text message.

ZEKE.

after dropping hades off to hang out with kinsley and katia, even with the reluctance over who was in charge of things, zeke didn't waste time in making his way to moonshadows. grabbing drinks wasn't enough of a reason for the blond to go above and beyond with an outfit that tethered on the side of dressing to the nines, but looking exactly the royalty he viewed himself was was non-negotiable. there was an easy mood, and a reserved amount of relief over the reality that he was going to be drinking. perhaps it was a bad habit, how often and how thoroughly that isaac found himself with a drink in his hand but he couldn't admit to it being a problem. his kids came first always, and distorting the world for a couple of hours seemed reasonable. even more so with the added benefit of having his best friend to drink alongside him. he almost cocked his head back towards the door as he settled into a set at the bar, but the vibration of his phone in his pocket caught his attention before he could further wonder over the whereabouts of the femme who had setup the whole hangout. his features furrowing slightly as he slipped the phone from his pocket to lay it atop the bar, looking to the bartender and ordering a glass of whiskey for his first drink of the night as he scanned the one line text from nicole. just the realization that she could see him, brought isaac's attention to sift over the expanse of the bar he was seated at before he turned to get a full gaze of the place. when amber hues come into contact with the visual of the love of his life, a faint sting of the history that lay bare between them tugged at his being. if it wasn't enough that the king twin was often kicking himself mentally for his first fumble in their would-be love story, he was further given more ammunition on how idiotic he could be with the view before him. still, in true king fashion, a smirk lifted over his lips as he typed out his reply. "me? niks, have you gotten a good look at yourself? any day you're on fire. tonight is no exception." a bitter, unwanted idea festers up with a vengeance as he presses the send button, forcing himself to swallow the lump that followed his realization. the blond felt minimal relief when his drink was placed in front of him, barely pulling his gaze from niks to grasp the glass. he almost downs half of it, but watching nicole on a date? that wasn't something his sanity nor his impulse control could handle, so he disregarded the faint idea that he might not be allowed to take the glass away from the bar and made his way over to the table that nicole was seated at. a forced smile pushed as he took the free seat across from her, curious on it's empty state but not at all concerned over whether or not she was waiting on someone to return. "so, what's this? you, on a date?" subtle had slipped out the window at the first indication that she was on a date with someone new.

NIKKI.

she froze mid-motion with her wine glass in hand when he saw her. unless she wanted to ruin the dress she’d gotten, surrendering the glass in hand was her only option due to the torturous tick of a tremble. it felt like it had been months since the last time she’d had an excuse to see him, when in all reality it had only been days at most. still much too long to go without feasting her eyes on the only real object of desire she’d ever had. the only real sense of home she’d ever known and one person she’d come to understand she’d always belong to. it was somewhere between his wedding and that ending, that she came to terms with things had really finished between them. but that damn look he gave her, the way his gaze washed over her felt like a little piece of heaven and she’d find a way to make that enough. a little bit of zeke was better than nothing, a part of her knew she’d never be able to handle them crumbling to nothing. there was only one person who’d had any kind of true hold on nicole’s heart and that was isaac king. she’d tried to fight it - but it was pointless. he’d stolen the entirety of her, which was all the more reason dating was mundane. she had nothing left to give, the man who’d captured everything she was, her heart and soul, was sitting only feet away. the soft exhalation that left her lips the second his response popped back up on her phone felt almost like treachery. with a shake of her head she texted her two responses “hmm, briefly to do my make up.” nicole paused to extend a smirk in his direction, “charm truly never fails you? not that i’m surprised… gotta say still think you’ve got me beat tonight, king.” it wasn’t a lie, per usual, she’d caught sight of him and her heart did somersaults, pulse picked up in pace, the brief escape of getting to type out her reply gave her a moment to remind herself of their current situation and her need for composure. but control was in impossible when she looked up only to see zeke sitting at her table. his question stung slightly, knowing had she not ran away from him the last time she had, she probably could’ve been… with him, and they probably would’ve been happy. “more like i was ambushed into meeting up with someone, who according to jordyn i had to meet, but mr. perfect didn’t show.” her heart screamed ‘oh but he did! and he’s sitting right there, don’t fuck it up!’ the second she relaxed into her chair finally feeling at ease for the first time since leaving bed. she could almost feel her eyes light up and glimmer as a smile tipped her lips upwards, “how about you? who’s heart are you stealing tonight?” god the question damn near provoked a physical reaction, but cringing would’ve been rude, so she had to bring her own glass up to her lips to wash down the idea and ease the bitter aftertaste of the thought.

ZEKE.

catching the momentary halt in her movement only served to arch the blond's brow, but his features relax a millisecond later. resigning himself to the reality that he would always find some amount of difficulty in being wrapped up in even the brief company that was nicole hampton didn't make it remotely easier to absorb the physical reality of it. even with some distance between them, she took his breath away and the concept of her dating, a bitter memento to the fracturing of their relationship. it was bittersweet, to be surrounding by the person who owned him in ways many before had only wished to achieve and knowing that he couldn't have more than her friendship. in favor of the emptiness that surfaced in her absence, the blond was determined in all his obstinance that he would indulge in the pieces of friendship he was given. if anything, the femme was being generous and as much as his entirety abhorred the mere illusion of niks out on a date with someone else, he could begrudgingly suspend his own annoyance. the brief slip up in the back of his mind that seemed to surface of his drunken marriage, even with how quickly it had fallen apart, reinforced the idea that he could at least pretend to be supportive of her dating endeavors. still, even as the experienced actor he was, the blond couldn't seem to relinquish the idea that nicole was supposed to be his. letting that ideology slip was going to be a work in progress, worse than forcing himself to tolerate his sister and best friend's husbands. (and he hadn't yet mastered the tolerate part of that.) finally seated across from nicole, his features were alight with humor and arrogance as his gaze shifted across the screen of his phone that he placed atop the table now. his brow quirked up at her words, and it wasn't the first time he found himself disagreeing with nicole's compliments. "as flawless as you are with or without it, surprised you don't get caught up in your reflection more." he verbalized their text conversation. while anyone else could say or text him those exact words and zeke would agree, that he had them beat in the looks category, this was nicole. his ego was enormous in it's own right, but when it came to the femme across from him, he had never been disillusioned on the reality that she was the definition of stunning, ethereal in her existence even if she couldn't seem to agree. "i've been known to be charming, but i couldn't read a single bit of that last part cause your phone didn't send it right. all i can see is you looking immaculate, drinking wine and... alone? that's criminal." he decided, a small smile found it's way to his lips. his features fell flat as he awaited her answer to his question, a sinking emotion slipping to the pit of his stomach until he caught onto her words. specifically a singular name that wreaked with far too much familiarity, his thoughts trailing back to his own intended meet up with his best friend. "jordyn, huh?" he should've felt a twinge of betrayal, but as he was piecing it together he could only feel a bubble of amusement trickling in. a low chuckle resounding verbally as he cocked his head. "not sure i believe there was ever a mr. perfect intended to show up," he paused, offering a smirk as he winked. "besides me." he attempted to tease, a play of his usual superiority complex. her question brought another bought of amusement, a genuine smile slipping out at bother the realization and jordyn's attempt. "well, i was supposed to be meeting jordyn so we could do what we do best: get wasted." he offered, leaning back against the chair he was in and taking a sip of the whiskey in his glass before he placed it on the table, suddenly feeling less tense after piecing the small puzzle together in his head. "but i think we were set up."

NIKKI.

a better woman would’ve known after two failed attempts, it was time to move on. to keep the memories, the lessons, the good and the bad and get on with her life. a better woman would want the person they loved, truly, purely, almost tortuously too much to have the world and be happy. but looking at isaac, smiling & sitting across from her in his painfully gorgeous glory all she could think of was how he could see at her without comprehending that without faltering she’d give him everything she could. herself entirely, past, present, future, her world, her last breath, the entire world moon, sun, and stars included. they were bonded, their soul ties were undoubtedly indisputable. whatever happened in the past didn’t matter, because the love she held from the very beginning ran deeper than most people knew in a lifetime. yet they sat, only a table width apart and it felt like light years from where she wanted and needed to be. what she needed was to be thoroughly immersed by everything that was isaac king, brought back home, the reformation that she was his and he was hers. the awareness didn’t stop her from reveling in his proximity and presence soaking in the way he sat down and like some sort of divination everyone else in the room faded away. so rather than stare like he was the last thing she’d ever look at, nikki folded her arms on the table - green eyes rolling at his compliment, corrupted by the heat that rushed to her cheeks and the grin the accompanied it. “it’s the glow you get from a king sitting next to you, flawless is reaching but sweet. thank you. there are better things to look at, though.” in all reality as much as she enjoyed catching a good glimpse of herself, she’d lose hours getting lost in the perfection sitting across from her. even now with their history, she was sure she wasn’t transparent with stealing glances of him, smiling like an fool because together or not, home was wherever he was, getting lost in everything that made up isaac king. offering a small laugh the blonde tipped her head to the side, “well, when you put it like that… thank goodness you ended up coming along because that does sound criminal.” entertaining him while he pieced together everything she’d failed to until it was laid out in front of her, nodding slightly when jordyn’s name slipped from his lips, nikki caught her lower lip between her teeth to keep from beaming. “that’s even better cause i was gonna end up texting you to pick me up after i found a window to sneak out of later anyways.” sitting there in what seemed like a fever dream, she couldn’t deny that he was most certainly mr. perfect, mr. right, mr. one who got away especially when he relaxed into his seat forcing her to use every ounce of self-control to simply walk across and fold herself peacefully against him. “i’ve been set up with worse… and since we’re here, we might as well indulge your little hellspawn. i’ve got a sitter until 2 which means there’s time to kill. but unless you plan on keeping me tonight and keeping me outta trouble, i can’t get zeke and jordyn wasted. it’d be a sin in and of itself to let the table and jordyn’s effort go to waste though.”

ZEKE.

moving on was supposed to be a feasible, reachable option for most people in the world— but zeke king didn't have the option of retracting his heart from the beauty across from him. nobody in the world could scratch a hand at enticing the actor's attention, definitely not in a similar manner as to the way that the blonde across from him had managed to wrap him around her finger. if felt surreal to be seated across from the femme, and to know what it felt like to have all of her only to let her slip away from him. twice over. three times if his drunken mishap counted and the regret that surfaced was only another thing he found himself searching to drown out in the background noise. despite his own resolution on the fact that he was undeserving of the presence that she retained in his life ( a friend, not solely the mother of his child. ), it was impossible for the male to deny that he was solely for nicole. giving up on finding his way through strangers beds when he realized the emptiness would always linger with anyone who wasn't the blonde across from him, if she wanted him: isaac king was hers for the taking. the depth at which he felt connected to her was incomparable and there was a part of him that wished he could regret meeting her this early in his life, but he wouldn't ever find himself capable of regretting even a moment of his time spent with nicole. the male might dislike the feelings that circled in her absence, but everything about the femme brought a smile to his features. she entertained his ever wandering attention without much effort. nicole hampton was home, she was the one woman who zeke had soberly agreed to walk down the aisle with and the one woman he would risk everything for. it was a bittersweet fact, being completely and irrevocably in love with someone and not being able to have them. " trust me, i'm an expert at this and flawless is... the exactly right term. and it has zero to do with my presence, your glow is all yours. " he informed, leaving no room for debate in the words as his head very momentarily tipped to the right before he straightened up again. a rare moment of humility if only to showcase the blonde across from him and allow her to see his honest view of her. part of him wasn't certain she even believed the words he spoke when complimenting her, but they still shoved to the tip of his tongue as if he was obligated to speak them. he felt an easy smile, a relaxing sensation flood through him at the simple laugh coming from her. "that was exactly my thoughts. i really saved somebody's ass 'cause the punishment for not showing to a date with you?" he made a show of making a face and scoffing. "would hate to be that person on the universe's bad side." he added. as he came to the conclusion of the setup, jordyn's text about a surprise seemed to make sense and she had been nothing besides correct. the blond couldn't be even a little bit upset at the idea of jordyn setting him up to hangout with nicole. he didn't bother to hide the small laugh that came at her admittance. "well, considering i was the intended date, it's a good thing i didn't show up late and i didn't get on the universe's bad side by showing you up unintentionally." zeke offered, features taking in the beauty across from him as effectively as he could manage. the description of mr. perfect replayed in the back of his mind and for once, he couldn't fit the title to himself in comparison. either way, he wouldn't look a gift horse in it's mouth. "ouch, a stinging review..." he playfully pouted before he nodded. "i've got no qualms about keeping you company, and if you think i've got qualms about adult-nicole-knapping you and keeping you tonight? now you're bein' extra silly. not sure i wanna get wasted as bad as i did before, but stealing your time and profitting from jordyn's efforts, i can do that."

NIKKI.

nicole had been so busy trying to figure out what was going on in his mind, trying to hide the sheer maybe too conspicuous giddiness that she’d almost made a mistake. reaching for her wine glass she’d gone too far, almost going in for his drink. not that something stronger wouldn’t have been appreciated, wine was definitely not going to cut it. she found herself in the middle of a messy game, one drink too many and she’d probably spill every damn word she’d been choking down since his wedding. all it’d take was one maybe two bottles of wine or one too many shots for her to ask why the hell he’d gotten married - why he decided to marry someone else when all he had to do was say the word. she would’ve come back, no questions asked, no hesitation. at worst, she’d probably drunkenly apologize for running when she finally had him back again, apologies for not just taking the leap because… as much as she valued him still being a vital and essential part of her life being as a friend it was annihilating her inside. zeke’s compliments forced her gaze downward, it suddenly seemed far more dangerous to look at him and that smile that made her even more grateful she was sitting. her heart was racing like a frightened rabbit fleeing a predator, but to her surprise… the last thing she wanted to do was flee. it was a new accomplishment - another thing to add to the list of personal development. the blonde arched a brow when he’d all but left her no chance to debate, smirking as she looked back up and met isaac’s gaze trained on her own. “well i can’t argue with an expert - i mean i could… but i surprisingly don’t feel like arguing so, thank you. it means a lot coming from the king of flawless, the demon himself.” senseless instinct took over and nicole’s hand reached over and brushed the fingers encasing his cup, the small gesture would be insignificant even obscure to some, but the jolt of electricity reverberated from head to toe from a touch that lasted just a second. nikki was playing with fire but if it came down to getting burned by zeke, she didn’t mind. all too quickly changed direction and grabbed the wine glass and took another swig, “zeke king, knight in shining armor, keeping the cosmic balance by eating dinner with me. very admirable. is there anything you can’t do?” for a moment she was struck speechless, nicole hampton, the queen of talking, speechless. it was a power only he possessed, the ability to make her lose senses and words. she pondered over the words that had filled the space between them created by the sanity of the table. her ‘intended date’ - friends didn’t do dates. friends also didn’t almost get married twice, have a son together, have a handful of moments, think about the taste they left from a kiss, and sleep with each other when one of them got engaged. suddenly, she wasn’t hungry - she was lightheaded by promise. in fact, the idea of getting adult-nicole-napped seemed dangerously promising. "i said i've had worse, not that i had better, so is it really a sting?" she inquired coyly, hiding her smile by finishing off the remainder of her drink and setting the empty glass on the table, sights locked on the blond across from her. “if you don’t feel like drinking, whatever will we do? if it’s promising enough, you might just have to keep me. for the universe’s sake and jordyn’s effort - we might just have to give the people what they want.”

ZEKE.

his thoughts weren't often a place the blond preferred to drown himself, least of all when in the presence of his current company. when his attention zoned back into the nicole, he barely caught sight of the misstep for her own drink. there wasn't a single part of him that minded if she took over on his drink, but he wasn't going for the wine. impulse control was a lost treasure, but keeping a lock on his feelings and everything in his heart was easy— except when he sat across from nicole, who looked every bit of flawless he remembered. a battle between pride and the missing impulse control somehow barely restraining him from telling her all that was on his mind. mainly, that she was supposed to be his. did he have the right to get lost in the woman who held his heart captive after he threw himself drunkenly into another marriage? probably not, but refraining from spilling everything on his mind was enough of a strain on his test of control. tongue sliding over his lower lip, an uncharacteristic bought of nervous energy suddenly brought to the male, he raised his glass to his mouth and took a deliberately slow gulp before he rested it back to the table. for someone who had just said he didn't want to be drunk, the stirring blend of emotions was serving to call him a liar. if he was drunk in nicole's presence, he might attempt to adult-nicole-nap her to a wedding or something else unreasonably impulsive. the primal part of isaac king could only see 'mine' when he looked over at nicole, feeling completely irked every time he was reminded that she had almost walked down the aisle to another. feeling like the space between them was frivolous when all he wanted was to hold her in his arms, every night. amber hues roaming her features the minute she looked down, the smile that found it's way to his lips faltering as curiosity of whether he'd said or done the wrong thing swelled. her gaze returning flipped the smile to another smirk. "you could, but i'd have to say, it wouldn't do anything to change my perception. please, don't thank me for a simply honest thought. " he shrugged, only to be momentarily struck with both surprise and a small jolt of electricity from her simple gesture. that one interaction made it marginally more difficult for the blond to keep himself in check, to refrain from closing the table's length of distance that lingered between them. behind the smirk, his teeth sank into the flesh of his lesser lip and gripped his glass just a little tighter as he reined himself back. "i refuse to lose the favor of the universe and not only would it be universally catastrophic, i'd be personally offended. what can i say? the only thing i can't do is sing, so i hope that's no problem for you." he raised a brow. only a second later, he's second guessing the wording he'd used a moment ago, if only because it felt all too quiet. anyone else in the world could look at zeke with silence and he wouldn't feel half as awkward if he made the rest of the room uncomfortable, but the idea of verbally tripping up with nicole felt unnaturally embarrassing. though his words were true, considering it was clear that jordyn had intended him to be nicole's date, and attempted to go about that inconspicuously. his head cocked to the side at nicole's question, and he pretended to debate. "it was the lack of overwhelming excitement, so yes it stung." he offered dramatically as he playfully pointed towards his heart. "we could drink, if you'd prefer." he arched a brow once more, righting his head as he shrugged. "but as for what else we could do, anything you wanted to do. the possibilities are endless, and i'm a generous royal. it would be devastating if we didn't give the people what they wanted." his smirk widened. "besides, have to keep you? as if you think i'm not a willing participant."

NIKKI.

nicole watched zeke's thoughts stir behind his eyes with bated curiosity and intrigue. they were back to their unrelenting game of catch me, i’m here, i’m waiting, i’m yours. make your move. it had turned into a ritualistic heart wrenching game of cat and mouse. only if she caught him this time, letting go wasn’t an option. the way that his smile withered into that of a cocky smirk made her heart tighten a little bitterly. she knew too well that he’d always possessed more of her love and devotion than she wanted to allot for him. absently she wondered as her eyes wandered on their on accord driving in the very sight of him; how could her man - her man that had the gall to marry another woman when she was so clearly and hopelessly in love with him be even remotely, minutely, offended that she didn't greet him with the same excitement a child would have for meeting santa for the first time. if she granted him that, she’d melt… but that wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen. nodding her head, picking at a loose thread on the end of her dress, "sorry that i wasn't at the level of enthusiasm that you were hoping for. my sincerest apologies, demon. i forgot, you like reactive." she caught that her tone had an air of malice or maybe a taunt to bait him into something that she shouldn't have invoked. he’d far too recently gotten divorced. with a little force, she contorted her face into a warm smile, suppressing the smirk begging to twist the corners of her lips. she wanted this encounter to be pleasant, despite everything, this was a chance - a flicker of hope. "i don’t think i can remember the last time i let you get me drunk, king. which is unfair. we might just have to see if i can keep up with you yet? i'll just - pay attention because i may or may not be a cheap drunk?" she chuckled narrowing her eyes at him playfully before listening to his comment about what else they could do, she couldn't pick whether she wanted to laugh or roll her eyes at him. anything was a big word, but he wasn’t wrong on the possibilities being endless. though if he flashed another damn smirk in her direction, the red flags screaming: stop, he moved on. you said friends. would without a single doubt in her mind turn pink and open the door to another realm of endless possibilities. "a generous royal?" nikki queried tilting her head and a lift to the corner of her lips, obviously entertained. "i think it’s safe to say you’re just assuming i’m not excited?" the humor was evident in her tone. "i don't want to be the decision-maker tonight. i’m here for a date with mr. perfect… so mr. perfect, show me the time of my life. i'm curious as to what i've been missing." that was a lie she knew exactly what she was missing. and it was him. the femme crossed her arms under her chest to keep herself contained on her side of the table a safe distance away from doing what she wanted to do and toss herself at him. "why don't you g'head and surprise me, king. since you're so generous. be generous in your ideas." a waiter waltzed by, carrying an empty tray and she raised a perfectly manicured hand to get his attention. with ease, she pulled a card from her purse, sitting upright to slide it onto the tray. "my bottle and his drink. whenever you can please? there’s no rush." the waiter nodded and smiled at her, and she returned it out of kindness. somehow, nicole knew that her little gesture would somehow irk zeke and she subtly got off on that. maybe it’d coax the ‘what the fuck is this? your mine’ she needed to hear. when it was the two of them alone again, the blonde perked up, a coy smirk on her features. "and you can’t even be mad… i’m too cute. be faster next time.” nikki spoke, batting her lashes feeling the need to cover her bases for paying, keeping her wits together in case she was pushing the limit on their line of friends and the date they’d been set up on tonight. “so we going for illegal, morbid, or possibly even... risque?"

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sickofyourfandombullshit · 7 years ago

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Heathers 2018

So when I saw @princess-has-a-pen post about the new Heathers remake I had to look it up for two reasons:

1. I’m a huge fan of the Movie and Musical and 2. I had to see the fucking horror show that Spike TV was no doubt going to turn it into.

Now Princess asked in their tags the exact same thing I asked myself when I saw the post:

“Why?”

Well friends, strap yourselves in cuz I’m about to take you for a fucking ride.

Why remake Heathers? A movie that has solidified itself as a cult classic for it’s gritty, fucked up story and characters that took pretty much every kid who went to high school in the 80′s (or any time really) life and amped it up to 11?

Cuz the original Heathers is full of 'problematic' things and they can now remake it to be more 'progressive' while snagging a new audiance of younglings who know about Heathers because of the musical.

Now my friends, as I stated before, I love both the movie and the Musical, but as a mature, rational fan over the age of 30, I can look at something I love and point out it’s flaws and believe me, when it comes to the source material, Heathers the Musical is stuffed full of flaws and that creates some problems.

I am pretty sure all the Tumblrinas who idolize ‘Heathers’ have only seen the musical because honestly, the ‘date’ scene where Heather McNamara gets raped in the background would be enough to make them REEEEEE all the way to the fucking bank.

Like legit, she is literally struggling under her date (and not in a fun way) to make him stop and Veronica just fucking leaves her there. We don’t see her get away or anything, so you can only assume that that whole thing didn’t end well, especially given how miserable McNamara is in the movie to begin with.

The Muscial made light of a lot of the grim parts the movie worked to highlight, specifically bullying and suicide and the dangers of giving into pressure and just being a fucking terrible human being. Not to mention it twisted things in a way that actually reinforced some harmful tropes. Specifically with the two main characters JD and Heather.

JD in the movie is a completely sociopath who physically and mentally abuses Veronica for almost the entire thing and in the Musical they gave him the stereotypical ‘troubled boy who wanted to make the world better but it just got out of hand’ treatment. Like “Oh yeah, he murders three people and tries to blow up a school but his dad’s a jerk and his mommy committed suicide so you can’t blame him! Deep down he’s just a tortured soul who really loves Veronica!”. Spoilers! He doesn’t love Veronica, at least not in any way that should be even entertained as any sort of ‘love’. He and Veronica’s relationship coupled with his ‘sacrifice’ at the end of the play made me cringe extra hard because it felt like it was romanticizing abusive relationships and in all honesty it was. A specific scene from the Musical where I thought they were actually going to address the toxicity of their ‘relationship’ (at the end of the ‘Our Love is God’ musical number where Veronica seems to have a mental break down as she screams ‘Our Love is God’ over and over again as if to drown out the fact that she just assisted in the murder of two people), was brushed under the rug the next scene and seemingly forgotten about till something ELSE big happens and then it’s fucking Ground Hogs Day apparently.

Veronica in the movie joined the Heathers before the movie even began because she wanted to be popular and due to her skill in forgery is pretty much made their pet project. She’s not as much of a cunt as Chandler or Duke but she's still pretty fucking bad. She kills Kurt herself, blows off her actual best friend in exchange for shallow popularity, laughs over Heather Chandler dying and only turns on JD when the suicide note she writes for Heather Chandler backfires and causes people to glorify Chandler as a saint. This as well leads her to realize that it’s pointless to kill people because someone else just takes their place as “The Mythic Bitch” ala Heather Duke’s transformation (also because JD straight up slaps her in the face for trying to back out on him). She only ever does anything semi sweet at the VERY end after JD gets blown up. In the Musical she is portrayed as a sweet innocent little buttercup who is super besties with Martha and sticks up for the little guy and never meant to hurt anyone and was just dragged into everything bad by bad people. She feels constantly guilty for it and seems unable to make any actual choices herself outside of breaking into JD’s house to fuck him. She’s totally innocent guys. Totes.

And before you say “C’moooon it’s a fuckin’ Muscial!” you need to go watch you some Dear Evan Hansen or Les Miserables because those two Musicals are heavy as fuck and had no problem in showing how fucked up serious shit like war and suicide was through flawed characters.

Now with this new series coming out it seems destined to fail. It has only been releasing Instagram videos to promote the show and already it’s hitting all the same old PC points while being SO EDGY at the same time. It’s Riverdale all fucking over again.

“The terrible trio is more like a set of outcasts who have taken over Westerberg High School.” -EW article

Like really? Fuckin’ really? The Heathers were all popular girls due to their wealth (McNamara), beauty (Duke) and over all exuding of confidence and attitude backed up by all of the previously stated assets (Chandler). They weren’t a bunch of outcasts. They took pride in how they looked and how people saw them. I don’t understand this fucking need to make every kid nowadays an ‘outcast’ in an effort to make them ‘relatable’. They did it to every kid in the Power Rangers remake and MJ in Spider-Man: Homecoming and it’s starting to get fucking annoying. Oh well, gotta get them kids with all that EDGE!

So let’s look at the ‘Heathers’ (I can’t bring myself to not put that in quotation marks when talking about these piles of hot garbage):

Heather Chandler is a plus-sized, Skrillex haired edge lord who looks like every Tumblr Feminist/Suicide Girls reject and literally gives off no aura of power or fear at all. She just comes off as some fat bitch who found the HAAS RadFem movement on Twitter and used it to fill herself with enough undeserved self importance to justify being a cunt to everyone. Yes, where the original Heather Chandler got her power and reputation through sheer intimidation and personality, this Heather Chandler looks like the type of girl who will physically assault you in the bathroom and threaten to sit on you till you die.

Gee golly, I see Heather Duke is a sassy gay male now (and a white one at that). Wow, it’s not like that hasn’t been done a billion fucking times. Funny that he’s a white dude whose character in the movie and play turns out to capitalize on Heather Chandler’s death to raise their own status to the ‘queen bitch’ of the school. That’ll do GREAT for gay stereotypes I’m sure.

Aaaaand Heather McNamara, our possibly Asian possibly Latinx butprobably just party bag of mixed race token character who is the literal punching bag of the group. At least that seems to have not changed but I am sure it’ll help add shallow sympathy since now it’s not a bunch of white kids beating up on a little white girl, it’s a bunch of white kids beating up on a little minority girl. Goodie goodie.

The rest:

JD literally gets nothing to show from his video except one speaking line where he is telling Veronica that she’s “Not like Heather Chandler” she’s “better” while quick cutting a bunch of random shots from the show that mostly seem pointless and just confusing with one flash of him apparently running the flat of a knife on his palm behind his back? So we get nothing from our poor, tortured sociopath. I can just hear the producers of this show now: “We can’t show him being too soft or the old fans might not watch it and can’t show him being a psychotic asshole or the Musical fans won’t watch it, so make it just as cluster fucking and confusing as possible so no one will ask questions and just be drawn in with all the cheap visual click bait!”

For Veronica we again get nothing. One line of “Dear Diary, I hate my friends but that doesn’t mean I want them DEAD!” followed by more random cuts of shots from the show, many of bloody scenes and hints of violence but a lot more of just weird confusing scenes that make no sense. It’s kind of funny for the sheer reason that they seem to be banking on people just already knowing who these characters are ala the original movie but at the same time are trying to pull in new audience members with all the vague quick cutting which they seem to have mistaken for ‘mystery’.

And last but not least, we have Betty Finn. What’s that? “Who if Betty Finn?” all you fans of the Musical ask? Well you wouldn’t know who Betty is unless you watched the MOVIE cuz Betty is who Martha Dump Truck replaced in the Musical because Betty wasn’t fucking sad sacky enough and they didn’t want to clutter the script with such a minor character. Betty was smart and an actual good person, the only good person in the movie honestly, who was Veronica’s friend since they were in diapers. She didn’t have a huge part in the movie outside of providing some blackmail material for JD to use against Heather Duke and trying to get Veronica to stop being such a moron (which failed). Now she’s appears to be the stereotypical side character that will be prominent in the show, probably as a comic relief character or plot device to be used against Veronica at some point.

Now, there is a huge question you have to ask:

Where is Martha? Will Martha even be in the series? Alright, it’s two questions but you get the point.

I have two guesses;

1. Possibly

but more than likely

2. No. Absolutely not.

Why do you ask? Because Martha’s character served as a plot device in both the Movie and the Musical to show how awful the Heathers really were and how their bullying was actually dangerous. Martha was a fat, slow, ugly dump of a girl. Problem is, you can’t make fun of that anymore. It’s not ‘progressive’ to make fun of people with those flaws. As well it wouldn’t make sense, Heather Chandler is fat in this remake. Unless they’re going to go full retard with some kind of ‘internalized fatphobia’ shit it wouldn’t make sense to make fun of Martha for that. Heather McNamara is the stereotypical ditzy airhead which doesn’t seem to have changed in this remake so to make fun of someone being ‘slow’ while laughing at an Air-Head-of-Color would just be super duper mean!

If they DO put Martha in, she will either have to still be dumpy, slow and fat and end up being the most popular character in the end for ‘not giving into societies beauty standards’ or some shit, OR she will have to actually flat out die from her suicide attempt to push the EDGE and drive plot.

Either way this whole thing is going to be a train wreck that will either take off at the idiotic rate in which Teen Wolf and Riverdale did or be an utter failure.

I seriously hope for the latter. Sorry this is so long and there are probably some spelling and grammar errors. It’s literally 2:30 in the morning and the Monster I drank is starting to ware off so I’m running on fumes.

#heathers 2018 #heathers #heathers the musical

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