#i ordered some new ones and they'll be here tomorrow thank fuck

[large-baguette-112]

rrrgh my earbuds are dyinggg

[afniel]

Man okay we have been In The Process of getting a new bed for a bit now and I finally got rid of the old platform the day before the new one arrives...I picked out a company, no big deal, asked for a quote. They gave me a quote for someone else's furniture. I said nah man I have a platform and frame. So they gave me an estimate. I said okay, it's pretty awkward, on the second floor, definitely a two person job. They said yeah that was fine. How about this afternoon? Or tomorrow? To which I said, now hold on, I still need to empty it out. How about Saturday or Monday? They didn't get back to me until Tuesday to say hey let's do it Wednesday, and by that time I was just like, you know what, sure, whatever gets it out of the house.

Wednesday happened (today) and they were scheduled to show up between 10:30-1. So I got up and finalized all the stuff I needed to do still by 10:30. Drawers empty, sheets off because we're keeping the mattress but it obviously had to be moved, hide the unmentionables in a box, you know. Bribe the Boys to go into their cat room and play with a nice treats ball full of freeze-dried chicken. The usual for having a contractor come out. I kinda needed a shower and a proper breakfast or lunch but I figured, meh, they'll be here too soon, I can do it after.

Which of course wasn't the case! They called at 1:30 to say they'd be there at 3:30 and also am I totally sure that it had to be a two guy job? I said yeah I'm sure, it's not something you can disassemble, it's a pain in the ass. So they go, well, okay, I'll find a second guy. Meanwhile thinking to myself that this guy is at least as organized as I am.

Eventually they showed up at 4:10. Yeah. And it went okay after that, but then he was like, well it was really awkward and hard to move, and told me a final cost higher than the estimate. Which means that I ended up breaking into the holiday money my dad gave me to cover it because we didn't withdraw more cash than the high end estimate plus a tip, because like...why would we, right?

This was also the third day in a row that I only slept four hours and I'm starting to feel it pretty hard...the new bed comes tomorrow but thank fuck it's not until well into the afternoon so I can catch up a bit. At the risk of sounding vaguely my age, my back is killing me...but then again it's been doing that my whole life so it's not saying much I guess.

Also the delivery guys with the furniture company are actually really good and I've dealt with them before so I'm not worried, just...fuck man I am tired and want a day without shit happening this week and that's not looking likely yet.

Also also I'm still waiting to hear back from the builder about the fact that the hot water Isn't quite a bit of the time. It worked fine, then it started dropping temp after a bit, and if it weren't a tankless heater I would probably even have some idea what to do about it but it's a very nice tankless so I'm kinda clueless. And we have some broken screens from window and gutter cleaning because they were installed so ungodly tight in the frames that they literally cannot be removed now, which is less than ideal for a whole lot of reasons.

AND WE STILL NEED TO ORDER BLINDS? I didn't even know where they came from until I realized I could just ask my mom? I'm handy enough with objects but processes, not so much!

Houses are one fucking thing after the other, guys. Like it's great but also, Jesus fucking tapdancing Christ.

[blueluneacy]

Personal Update

If you've been following me for a while, then you're probably used to this blog going through… Phases. I tend to have periods of high activity and low activity. It's a combination of both my mood and my schedule, but Recently, I discovered something that horrified me, my worst nightmare realized.

After staring at a page for over an hour, I realized I had burnout. I looked for other causes. Maybe I was tired, or sick, or just had writers block. I looked for legitimately any other cause, because the idea of not being able to write absolutely horrifies me. I've always been writing, always been a writer. It was a massive blow to me. I've always heard about burnout, but I thought, never me! Besides, I don't have the time to be lazy, all of you are waiting for my next post. If I don't post soon, people aren't going to care anymore. In a funny twist, I, the person who constantly preaches on how you need to write for yourself, was not doing that.

And it's not to say that I don't enjoy the requests I'm getting! Some of them can be very same, but I have the power to delete something already done! If I don't like it, I don't have to do it, right? Well, sorta. I've been forcing myself to do something… Weird. I've been making myself write requests in order of when I get them, as some sort of act of fairness. Which on the one hand, sounds fair, but on the other, has honestly made me hate some of my own ideas. I hate writing TA Jotaro now, because I'm constantly doing it, and I don't know why. I used to love the concept, hell, I came up with it! Is there something wrong with me? I don't know.

I started looking into cures for burnout, to try and get something, some pill so I could keep working. But, it doesn't work like that, unfortunately. The only way to cure burnout is… To change. To stop, take a break. But I took a short break before, and I'm still here, burnt out. Well, I never really solved the problem of before, I only prolonged the time it would take me to get here. I honestly don't know what to do other than wait. Even writing this feels agonizing to me for some reason. And it's not just jojo, either. I tried writing so much, from stuff with my ocs, other fandoms, even poetry, but nothing came out. I don't know what to do at this point other than wait it out, but that idea scares the heck out of me, if I'm not writing, what do I do?

For those who don't know, I work at a Bath and Body Works as well as go to school. My job isn't my passion, but it helps fund college and it's decent work. The people are weird, but that's not the point of my little anecdote. At work, part of what I do is sell candles. Massive, three wick scented candles, meant to last for over forty hours of continuous burning. But, I also do returns. About once a week, someone comes in and returns an empty candle container,all used up. While I think it's the stupidest thing, our return policy states that we have to take them, so take them I do, looking over the empty container, with metal prongs and char all along the sides. And God, I feel like those empty candle containers right now! And the problem is, at work, we throw them out. You get rid of them and get a new candle. But I can't just throw out my brain and get a new one. And writing is my outlet, my coping mechanism. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not attempting to write.

A friend of mine told me to look at things from a different angle. To turn what I'm thinking on its head and work from there. So… I'm gonna try. I'm closing requests now, and I'm still going to attempt to work on them, but well… They'll get done eventually, I just don't know when. As for me working on my burn out… I'm going to try and work on something new. I want to finish Wrong with the Reaper, I want to write more Diavolo, I have so many ideas that I feel like could be interesting and outside my normal realm of what I do, and thinking about them does make me excited in this time where I honestly feel so… Dull.

They say burn out can manifest physically, in extreme exhaustion. I've been sleeping almost all the time when I'm not working, to the point where my dad asked if I needed to have a sleep study. In a way, this realization has made a lot of pieces in my head click.

The raffle is still gonna end at the same time. I'm gonna draw tomorrow still and make a post, and the raffle winnings are gonna take precedent over the requests, just because they're a prize and all. I'm hoping maybe these longer flics will help too, maybe I'll work more on prose or something.

If you want to interact with me, talk to me, or maybe see my wips (always lookin for proof readers lmao), join my discord server at https://discord.gg/gQEEVMf. While I'm still gonna check my inbox here, it's a much easier way to reach me and talk to me.

Thanks for reading. You guys mean so much more to mean than you could ever possibly know. In a way, my burnout has stemmed from my constant race of being up to my own standards, as well as trying to be something that uplifts your day in my writing. I don't know anymore. What I'm trying to say is, thank you all. I'm writing is at almost four a.m. when I couldn't sleep, and I'll probably post it when I wake up. I never thought anyone would like my writing, but people who I have considered fucking idols in the jojo writing section of tumblr have even complimented my work, and it just makes me so happy that people I adore like my work, but also terrified, horrified that I will sooner or later disappoint. But, I'm still alive, I'm still living, still going. And I know that if I keep going, eventually, I think I'll get through this.

[jacobseedvaas35]

A Love Like No Other

Jacob Seed X OC Ana Pearce

Warnings: Violence, Smut, Mention of abuse

Word Count: 1708

Chapter Two

Going back home was a bloody nightmare. Tim and Kelly went off their heads when Ana walked through the front door, not knowing that Blake was right behind her. They yelled in her face and Kelly had grabbed Ana's arm so tightly that she was sure there was a bruise already. The moment Blake walked in and yelled back at his parents, Tim and Kelly backed off, letting Ana get past.

"From this day forward, Hannah, Haley and Ana are allowed to leave this house whenever they want" Blake put his foot down to his parents. "They are old enough to look after themselves and do whatever. It's time you two, grew the fuck up".

"I've had enough of your tone Mr. We are your parents, you do not raise your voice or order us on what to do" Tim raised his voice.

"Listen here old man" Blake walked up to his father's face. "Lay a single finger on one of my sisters and I'll break that finger. You understand? If you wanted respect from your children, then you should have never abused them".

Hannah and Haley followed their siblings into Blake's bedroom, curious to know where they had gone.

"So? What does Hope County have for us?" Hannah asked as she sat down next to her brother.

"Other than forests, mountains and lakes. We've got a small town called Falls End. It has a bar and some clothing stores" Ana started explaining. "Oh and a lot of farms".

"And not to mention, a church for a religious cult" Blake smirked.

"Now we're talking" Hannah said. "Keep going".

"Yeah we met the leader. His people call him The Father but he said his name was Joseph Seed" Blake continued to explain. "He has two brothers Jacob and John and a sister, Faith Seed".

"Are they good looking?" Haley asked.

"Yes. The brothers were hot and Faith..."

"She was beautiful" Blake interrupted Ana, as he remembered Faith and her beautiful features.

"Wow. Someone's in love" Hannah joked.

"Joseph said he'd like to meet you two as well. Maybe our awesome brother here, can take all of us next week Sunday to another sermon" Ana informed her sisters.

Blake looked up at Ana and smiled, "my dear sister. Joseph said we can visit him anytime we wanted". He looked at his other two sisters and informed them that he was going to take them to Joseph's church tomorrow and get them to meet the Seed family for themselves.

-

That evening, with the help of her brother, Ana was able to leave the house to go and explore the forests that Holland Valley had. She walked through the forest, looking up at the trees and listening to the birds chirping away. The sun shone through the trees, helping her walk without having to worry about falling. As she continued to walk, she started hearing the sound of the lake's water flowing, as if it was a river instead.

"This is beautiful" she said to herself and started to turn in circles.

"You shouldn't be out here, all alone" a voice from behind her came. Ana jumped with fear and turned around to see the familiar man from the church, stand behind her and leaning against a tree.

"Hope County forest's might be beautiful to explore but the wildlife can be extremely dangerous" the man kept saying. "If you want to explore, you have to bring a weapon with you".

Ana looked down and saw the man holding what looked like, a red rifle in his hand. "Umm" was all she could say, still startled by this giant man.

"You're that girl from the church. Right?" He asked and started approaching Ana slowly.

"Yes" Ana replied back and swallowed hard.

"No need to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you" he said and stopped right in front of Ana.

He was really tall compared to her. She had to look up a fair bit to get a better look at him. He was even more handsome up close and she was able to make out the colour of his eyes. Light Blue. They were perfect. Ana was finally able to smile at him after realising that he wasn't dangerous or scary.

"So which one are you? John or Jacob" Ana crossed her arms and examined his features. "Wait! Don't answer that. Let me guess... Jacob".

"Correct" Jacob smiled. "I'm Jacob. Oldest brother of the Seed's".

"Nice to meet you Jacob. I'm..."

"Ana. I remember from the church. I might be old but I've got a brain like an elephant" Jacob chuckled a little and started walking past Ana.

"Old? Pfft" Ana giggled.

Jacob stopped in his spot and turned to look at Ana. "47 isn't really young".

"47? Jesus Christ. You look like you're in the 30s" Ana sounded shock. "You're really handsome for a 47 year old Mr Seed".

"Jacob!" He reminded her of his name.

"Sorry. Jacob" Ana smiled.

"So you live in Holland Valley?" Jacob asked, wanting to question her about her family.

"Yep. I wanted to live in Whitetail Mountains but my parents chose this place instead" Ana explained.

"Is that so?" Jacob got close to her again.

"Yeah. On the pamphlet it said Whitetail Mountains had more forests and even mountains" Ana said.

"You like Mountains?" He continued to ask her questions.

Ana nodded with a big smile on her face.

"Interesting. Would you like to go to Whitetail Mountains one day?" Jacob asked.

"Oh I would for sure" Ana was quick to reply. "Could you take me?". She was embarrassed to ask but felt a lot better getting it out off her system.

"You want me to take you to Whitetail Mountain?" Jacob was surprised. No one in this County would have asked him for something like this or for that matter, anything at all.

"Please. I really want to see the mountains" Ana begged. "Plus, it would be a great way to get to know each other. Being new and all to this County, I'd like to make friends. I barely had any in New York".

"I'll give you my number. You let me know when you wanna go and I'll pick you up" Jacob accepted.

Ana jumped with joy, then took her phone out and put Jacob's number in. "Thank you so much Jacob".

"You're welcome but I think I should take you home" Jacob suggested. "It's getting dark and like I said, wildlife in this County, is incredibly dangerous".

"Sounds good" Ana accepted and the both of them walked out off the forest and to Jacob's truck.

-

Jacob had all his windows to his truck opened wide. Ana had rested her arms on the car door and enjoyed the breeze hit her face. It felt amazing and smelt like fresh air. Her long black hair flew around crazily but she didn't care. Jacob couldn't help but glance at her at times. 'She's beautiful' he thought to himself and smiled as he glanced over at her one last time.

"Jacob?" Ana called out to him, then sat back in the passenger seat. "Could you drop me off around here. I don't want my parents to see me in a car with a guy. They'll kill me and I don't think Blake can save me".

Jacob pulled his truck over and looked at Ana. "Your parents sound like bad people. Do they hurt you Ana?".

"Umm. No of course not. They are just trying to be good parents" Ana lied.

"That's not what your brother said at the church. Abusive parents are the worst" Jacob looked out the window. "My brothers copped it from our abusive parents. They've got the marks to prove it but it made them stronger".

"They don't abuse me Jacob but thank you for your concern" Ana said and placed her hand on Jacob's scarred arm. "I'll call you when I want to go to the Mountains. Thank you again Jacob". With that being said, Ana jumped out of the truck and walked the remaining distance, home.

She walked in and was greeted by her brother. The two of them spent the evening speaking about what they did when the four siblings split up. Hannah and Haley had gone to Falls End to shop around while Blake had gone to the bar for a few drinks. Ana explained to her brother about Jacob's generous offer to take her to Whitetail Mountain's to see the mountains and forest it had to offer. Blake thought it would be a good way for his sister to make some friends, since she barely had any friends back in New York. Again, that came down their parents but he was going to make sure his sister made friends here in Hope County.

"I think these Seed's are going to be great people to hang with" Blake said and sat back on the couch. "What do you think?"

"I agree. Jacob looks like a very intimidating person but I like him" Ana said. "He'd be nice to be friends with".

"When are you going to meet up with him again?" Blake asked.

"Maybe Tuesday. He gave me his number and told me to give him a call whenever I wanted to go" Ana replied back. "I'm going to get some sleep. Goodnight".

"Night" Blake responded back and decided to go to bed himself. "What a fucking awesome day".

Laying in bed, Ana couldn't stop thinking about Jacob Seed. In the morning, seeing him for the first time was awkward and uncomfortable. He continually stared at her the whole time but after seeing up closer and talking to him, Ana could help but feel a tingly while thinking about him. He seemed like a really nice guy and he was extremely handsome but the only problem she had with him, was the age. He was almost 50 years old, so hanging out with a much older man, may seem a little disturbing for others.

Ana bit on her lip and smiled, wiping out that memory and thinking about the good things about Jacob. She couldn't wait to hang out and get to know him a lot more. He seemed like a guy full of mysteries and stories.

[masslessobtrusion]

This was the last conversation I had with Lauren before she passed away...

It’s unedited besides some names and cities. Lauren It hurts me and stresses me out and triggers me to know you're high right now and I just celebrated my 90 days completely sober from everything yesterday and I want to cry and because of that i can't talk to you for my sake and well-being because this is the first time in my life I have put myself first and I feel great except I'm stressed out now. It's nice to have a sober support group to help, but still ?? Lauren I can't talk to you because I cry and it threatens this great thing I have right now and want to hold on to Ryan I've actually been clean. I'd rather have you as a friend than be high. Lauren That's fucking awesome!! But I need time still and I'm learning patience too Ryan No one talks to me, everyone cancels their plans on me, just because I told them about it. I really need a friend. Lauren It's hard to see you and very confusing and uncomfortable I can't talk to you. Ryan what if I flew you to ****on august 26th. no access to anything and the maywether/McGregor fight is on. the pool is heated, it feels awesome I'll do anything to have you as a friend. Going to home was a nice change in my routine. rollcall is banned forever, markets went down. There's no getting anything. Lauren All I can say is if you want people in your life, open yourself to the idea of AA and get yourself a sponsor and find a way to see what the program is all about past the God stuff. Because what it's really all about is a bunch of fucked up people who have lost everybody and everything getting together and making friends and supporting each other. You will find friends and support through AA. Lauren That's all I have to say. Bye. Ryan Hey, please don't do this. I'm totally good. So many people cut me out of their life. I stopped benzos and kratom is down to one small spoon in the morning. i'm lifting weights. I'm feeling good about uber. Lauren Join AA. Ryan ok Lauren not that you join. Just go. Every day. Ryan if that's what you want me to do to be friends with you. I'll do it. Lauren You will find people. Ryan I don't really want people like that. Just my old friends who don't use. Lauren That's what it will take. AA. Just keep going. Ryan I'm glad it's helping you. It is, right? Lauren More than anything. I have legit friends now and most of all I have support for anything that's bothering me Ryan I figured this would happen. But was hoping that you could not cut me out your life. I won't do anything to hurt you or your sobriety. I promise. Keep me at a distance for a while. But please don't cut me out. Lauren I stay away from guys like they suggest because of 13th stepping Ryan I saw your new fetlife. ?? Lauren AA has changed my life. And no, I don't believe in God. Ryan But I'm glad you're not getting 13th stepped. Lauren I have to until you're completely sober and have a sober support network through either smart recovery, na, or aa Ryan Could you be my support if I need it? I don't care about drugs. I just want a friend to bullshit with. Lauren I can't because men stick with men and women with women for distraction purposes Ryan and you've been my best friend for a long time now. I don't care if you have a boyfriend or you're getting tied up and stuff. Lauren Do AA. You'll meet people and see them everyday at meetings. Its nice Ryan I like you so much. It would be devastating. I'll do it. I have a pinball tournament tonight and am possibly meeting up with arielle, her boyfriend, and ashley. But feel like they'll flake. But I'm still playing pinball. I'll go to a meeting ASAP. I promise. I mean it. Lauren It would seriously be the best thing you ever do. You'll thank me, I promise. But you have to keep going even if you think it's a crock of shit at first. People start off going in pissed off all the time until they start to realize it helps. Ryan I'll probably do NA though. The way you're talking feels like you've be indoctrinated into something that excludes people. I'm glad that you're safe and being healthy though. but i want your friendship. It's pretty much the most meaningful thing to me. and to lose that. I would have nothing. I've been hanging on, waiting for you all of this time. I want to be a positive influence for you Lauren I wouldn't say that. I would say check out both. I've found the people in AA are better but na is more relatable People in na tell more war stories so it might be a better place to start off because you'll have stuff to talk about. Thing is though more people go to meetings high than in aa Ryan I met a new girl too. Nothing serious. But it's a confidence boost. And you're still #1 to me. Lauren All I can tell you is that If you keep going every day you will meet people you can relate to and who will be there for you Ryan actually, I probably won't see her for a long time, because she's moving. okay, I love you though and want you to be my best friend. What's the word? Standard? Just, no matter what. Always be available to me. This attitude that you have is good. You're in control and you set the rules. I'm okay with that. I don't want to be abandoned again. It's the shittiest feeling. and I don't want you to say it's selfish. Lauren I'm available if you get sober because once you're sober, in order to stay sober it's a good idea to avoid people who are using or drinking. It makes sense... Ryan Because you're the only person that really knows me and one of the very few humans that will talk to me. Lauren sober Ryan would be like the Ryan I first met biking... trail running... Ryan I didn't do anything bad. I won't in the future either. Lauren POSITIVE. http://www.*****.org/meetings Meetings | ***** Area of Narcotics Anonymous The 8888Area is part of the *** Region of NA with meetings in ***, Brighton, Longmont, and Louisville, Nederland, and Westminster. ********.org Ryan guhhhh, my cardio sucks, but I've been lifting dumb bells and push ups and I gained some weight. I'm like 155-160 Lauren it sucked when you first started doing it years ago but you got past it and felt great! I remember. You were so confident! it's such a relief to hear you're on the right path Ryan shoulder pain still controls me. Lauren really. Ryan yes. Would you want to go to STL with me next month, get an airbnb? or I could fly out there? Lauren Here. Go to the Longmont one at 7pm tonight while it's still fresh from talking to me http://www.*******.org/meetings/wednsday Ryan and you can see me being healthy and sober. I have plans tonight. Pinball and possibly friends. But definitely pinball. Lauren I'm going to be at the halfway house next month. I'm staying with my uncle until a space is available it's a tournament? Ryan yeah Lauren then go tomorrow http://www.*******.org/meetings/thursday Ryan and i wanted to see if arielle and her bf wanted to get happy hour sushi before. Lauren seriously, ignore everything "god" and just meet people Ryan and ashley said she would hang out and smoke weed with me from a guy she knows that grows and she bought a bunch. but everyone flakes out. Even Robin did for camp dick, planned it 2 weeks ahead. Then he tells me his friend is having a going away party that weekend a few days before. Lauren well I hope everything works out Ryan I'll go tomorrow. Lauren let me know how it goes otherwise don't message me because it'll just make me sad ?? Ryan cool well, not the sad part but yeah, i'll do anything to keep our friendship going. Lauren you're going to meet people. that's what I think is going to be the best and when they ask if anyone's there for the first time... introduce yourself as Ryan and say it's your first na meeting ever Ryan okay thanks for the tips, anything else? Lauren people will come find you and introduce themselves. it's cool how friendly people there are. because they remember what it was like yeah... hang around awkwardly afterwards or bum a cigarette from someone and talk to them if no one comes to you lol Ryan If I do well and meet your expectations, can we hang out? people don't even talk to me at pinball. i hate it. sooooo many times, i start talking to someone and they just start talking to someone else Lauren maybe once you have some clean/sober time under your belt Ryan 15 days so far Lauren that's what's so cool! addicts love to talk to other addicts because they're blacksheep too no alcohol? Ryan i drank at my parents less than they did Lauren dude I found not drinking at all has helped with my mood SO much. just saying for me. Ryan I don't really drink alcohol though. Lauren i know you're going to meet people who are a lot like you I think you'll be surprised Ryan that's a possibility, but really. I'd rather just not have anything drug related in my life. Lauren "hey I'm Ryan. I'm an addict. It's my first time at any kind of meeting like this" Ryan I'm going to check it out though. Lauren thanks Ryan You'll be safe in St. Louis. Lauren it's going to be a while Ryan and we could watch the fights Lauren one step at a time. Ryan well, should I sell my vouchers then? Lauren yeah Ryan :( Lauren or find someone else because i can't go Ryan that was a little dramatic of an emoji Lauren oh lol Ryan but i just wanted a sad face Lauren got it Ryan so, how is fetlife? Lauren I have to go but I'll let you know I just chat with people and still haven't met up with anyone Ryan it kind of worries me. Lauren the tail pic is from my friend Richie who we webcammed with the one time (first kiss/high school friend) it was casual. Ryan doesn't seem like a sober living thing to do. But I suppose it's your rules. Lauren yeah, I'm more looking for a girl Ryan nice want to see the girl I've been hanging out with? Lauren no dude! Ryan ok Lauren hah ouch. talking to you hurts me enough Ryan oh Lauren but anyway I have to go Ryan I didn't mean to do that. I got the feeling that you didn't care. Ok, so, can I still talk to you and stuff. I'm so lonely. Lauren I just can't help but want to help you feel like you used to and find friends shit i'm so fucking up you really can't ?? Ryan I don't want rehab friends. I want hobby friends. Lauren it's part of my treatment plan and stuff that's not even AA related Ryan cool, I like hearing that you have a plan. Lauren yeah. i'm just doing what they tell me because i don't ever want to go back to drinking like i was a couple months ago or shooting dope obviously my decisions don't exactly work so i'm letting them make decisions for me... weird as that sounds. but it's working well so far ?? Ryan then don't talk about it until you're good at it. awesome I just hope you don't get taken advantage of mentally or physically. Lauren nah, i'm still ultimately in control of my life Ryan you're my #1 human. I don't want to lose you. I'll go tomorrow. Let you know about it. Lauren anyway, i can't talk to you for a while. but do the na/aa thing to make sure you stay sober (the counting days part is kind of cool too) and then we'll talk in a couple of months. but go everyday as something to do and a way to socialize and get out of that apartment Ryan a couple of months? why? I would never do that to someone. Lauren because i'm still fresh and easily stressed and because i want to make sure you're committed to this sobreity thing Ryan who is asking for help and it's me Lauren i'm letting you know it's what I feel is best for me it's a couple of months. it's not a couple years. Ryan okay, but I'll support you too. Lauren you can randomly message me with how many days you have Ryan I feel like, just empty. i knew this would happen. Lauren if I don't respond don't think I don't care... know that I'm seriously smiling Ryan my intuition, you know it's legit. Lauren you've got this . Ryan we're no different than the hundreds of stories I've read Lauren now go out and meet people! *hug* Ryan I'm willing to support and help you with whatever you want. Lauren bye Ryan You're giving me a "god bless" like southern women do when they really mean something else. it's not necessary. fuck now I have absolutely zero people who I thought care about me. I've reached out to so many people. This isn't helping anything. If it were, I would tell you. You're super hot too. I don't think you realize how much of a difference that makes. Why not make me go to a reddit meetup or something, maybe I could network instead of focusing on drugs with current and former addicts. I've always disliked other users. You know this. Just bringing up counter arguments. annnnd Ashley just flaked out, didn't see that coming. Arielle flaking out should happen in about an hour. I may go camping by myself, just not ask anyone to go, because they just flake out 9/10 times. Dude, I have no one to talk to. and I want to talk to you. I'm going to go crazy talking to myself, without you responding. Can we set up a schedule to talk? Ryan I'm telling you that this hurts me. It does. I hate being abandoned, not invited and flaked out on more than anything. I feel kind of used too. I was there for you all of this time. All of the phone calls. And then I'm abandoned when I'm doing what I consider good. Those people are going to tell you to tell me to fuck off. That's what makes me think about cults and seperation. It's black and white. And I'm not black and white. so, i'm begging you, whatever is in your head. Just treat me like you used to. Please, I'm desperate as can be. So, can we set a scheduled time, so there isn't random ghostings. annnnnd Arielle just cancelled. Lauren And this is why I fucked up in talking to you. Now I feel guilty and stresses out. Learn patience. Good. Bye. Ryan What did I do? I'm asking for help and friendship. I'm being nice as can be. Am I not? Tell me what I'm doing wrong, so I can learn from mistakes. and im blocked wtf, you really just unfriended me? Lauren? please I would never do this to you. You don't feel like it's wrong at all? i'm just going to cry and remember that everyone treats me like shit. I'm some worthless piece of shit. So I deserve to be treated like one. I would never ever treat you or anyone like this. Lauren I blocked you then realized there was a take a break option then unblocked to do that but realized,you can still message me and now I have to wait 48 hours to block you So please let me take a break! Ryan Don't block me Lauren For my Fucking sobriety This is why they tell me not to talk to you! Ryan why, even think about it. I want you to be sober. I'm being supportive. Lauren I'm stressed as fuck now You're NOT! Ryan Yeah, they do that to everyone. It's like a cult. Like I said earlier. I've read hundreds of stories. But you can make exceptions. If you have a friend in need of help. Lauren You're making me feel guilty and stresses and cry because you're not letting me go for a while Ryan I'm not asking for much. I said I would go to an NA meeting tomorrow. Lauren Just PLEASE stop messaging me For me. Ahhhhhhh! PLEASE. Ryan I just want you to respond or have a certain timeframe of when you can respond to me. Otherwise I get upset. Lauren I. don't. Know. Ryan because I have NO ONE to talk to. absolutely no one. Lauren When you're 90 days clean and sober from everything, ok? Use meetings to help Now please Let me go This is killing me Ryan It doesn't have to be so black and white. I'm on your side and you're treating me like an enemy. I've always been on your side. I want to help you. Lauren Because you're being an enemy to my sobriety and my well being and it's selfish. Ryan I didn't do anything. I sent you pictures of a dog and told you77777 that I'm sober. I was being happy and stuff Lauren Leave me alone!!!!!! Don't talk to me. Ryan ok9 Get some sober time and then talk to me. But don't talk to me now. Thank you Ryan I'm fine and the most sober I've been in a long time. it's not a competition. but i will look elsewhere for friendship, or just cut myself or something. This sucks either way. I'm not going to be your enemy. Because I'm not and never will be. I just lost my best friend of 3-4 years. The closest friend I've ever had.

[ff15trashgoldenslumbers]

High school AU pls! Chocobros have been pining after the new exchange student in the hopes they'll notice them. How do the boys get their attention? (I'm fine with any high school scenario, it's up to you! Just give me teeth rotting fluff and I'll love you!)

Oh High School. *shakes fist* High School, teenagers mortal enemies! But because you’re such a sweetheart! Olive’s gonna do her best!

~~~~~

Noctis

“There she goes again.” Prompto stated, as he and Noctis watched you move through the cafeteria, sitting beside Lunafreya and Ravus. “Why don’t you go talk to her?”

Noctis glanced toward the table, seeing Ravus glaring at him, it’s like the man knew when he was trying to look at you. “Well Ravus is one.”

Gladiolus clapped the smaller male on the back, “But you’re friends with Lunafreya, just ask her to put in a good word for you.”

Noctis waved it off, as he stared at the mistaken veggie patty he picked up, passing it off to Gladiolus. Lowering his head to rest on the table, his blue eyes locked to your profile, as you laughed with the two siblings, hoping that at some point you’d notice him.

“Dude, bell.” Prompto called, tapping Noctis head with his notebook.

Noctis yawned, getting up, in the moment his eyes left you, only to notice that you were walking toward him. Nervously he stood up straight bumping into Gladiolus who almost drowned in his 4th gatorade. When you turned toward him, smiling softly.

“Hi, Noctis.”

Noctis could have swore that angels were singing at him, you smiled and actually acknowledged the young man. “He…hey.”

“Is he okay?” You ask in concern pointing behind the ebony haired man.

“Huh?” Noctis inquired, turning, only now noticing the Gladiolus was still hacking up his gatorade. “Yeah, yeah he’s good.”

“Oh, ok. See you around.” You smiled.

“Yeah, see you around.” Noctis called, only to feel a shadow over him, turning as he noticed the tall form of Ravus glaring at him, and did the blonde just growl at him?

“Smooth.” Gladiolus called, before a cough left him.

“Shut up.”

*

“Excuse me, can I sit here?”

Noctis groaned, as he looked up from his arm, who was disturbing his midafternoon, ancient literature nap? Looking up as he noticed you standing before him, as he quickly shot up staring at your surprise face.

“Ugh, ugh yeah, sure.” He muttered scooting over, allowing you to squeeze next to him on the long table.

“Thanks Noctis.” You smiled, placing your bag down, staring ahead to the teacher droning on and on about whatever.

Noctis couldn’t help but stare, you were even prettier up close, and smelled like…HELL he didn’t know what it was! But he knew he liked it! He had gotten so caught up in staring at you that he didn’t hear the teacher calling his name.

“Noctis!”

“Huh, what?”

“Do you have your partner for your Ancient Gods report?”

“Ugh…” Noctis stuttered, normally he’d just partner with Prompto, but the blonde wasn’t in this class.

“I’m his partner, sir!” You called waving your hand.

“Ah, so Noctis and Y/n, your god is Shiva.”

Noctis stared at you, as you smiled softly toward him.

“Ready, partner?”

Heaven! Noctis had just died and went to heaven. “Sure, we can use my house.”

“Cool.” You smiled, “Oh and I want to apologize about my big cousin Ravus, he’s a little intimidating, but he’s just a big puppy.”

Noctis, gave a nervous laugh, he almost forgot, “Yeah…” Yet when he turned to that beautiful smile, he knew that he could face Ravus and Ancient Literature.

~~~~~~~

Prompto

“Isn’t this kinda of stalker zone?” Noctis asked, sitting underneath the tree Prompto was currently perched in.

“I fear we passed stalker zone with the hundreds of chocobo origami, shoved into her locker.” Ignis stated

“Yeah we’re in serial killer territory, gotta admit the kid’s persistent.” Gladiolus replied.

“Now if only we could have him apply it toward his school work.”

Prompto decide to ignore his friends, this time he would do it! You and Cindy had just gotten out of track, so now all there was to just drop in unexpected. The blonde lept from his perch, as he stood before his friends.

“All right, Plan J is ready!” Prompto cheered.

“The fact we’ve already gone from A to I is the disturbing part.” Ignis replied.

Yet Prompto was on a roll, “All right, Noct you ready?”

“There’s a few issues with your plan.” Noctis stated, holding the ball in his hand.

“Really? Like what?”

“Well, all of it.” Noctis replied, “I can’t throw, you can’t catch, and she’s not going to notice you.”

Prompto seemed to think it over, “You’re right.”

“Finally,” Ignis sighed, “Now why don’t…”

“Gladio, you throw!”

“Don’t blame me if you get hurt.” Gladiolus stated, taking the baseball from Noctis.

“Yeah, sure whatever, here they come!” Prompto yelled, running across the courtyard, just as you and Cindy walked from the track field to head home. “Toss it here Gladio!”

Prompto was so busy trying to act cool, he had forgotten about the large water fountain by the front gates, until his calf collided with it, causing the poor blonde to loose balance stumbling backwards. It was only made worse as the baseball beamed him right in the head, sending him falling into the large fountain.

“Cheese and Crackers!” Cindy’s country accent called.

“Are you okay?”

Prompto sat up, completely drenched from head to toe, only to find you had jumped into the fountain, helping him up. Looking over to his friends, all staring  in different arrays of shock, well Gladiolus seemed to trying not to laugh.

“Are you okay? That looked like it hurt.”

Prompto looked up to you, “Yeah…yeah.”

“I’ve got a towel in my bag.” You smiled, holding out your hand, helping the poor blonde up, hissing at the purple bruise forming on his head. “And we should maybe put something on your head.”

“Thanks.” Prompto smiled, as you led him over to your bag on the edge of the fountain. “I’m Prompto by the way.”

You smiled, fishing out your towel, before draping it over his head, “I know, here hold this against your head. It’s the best I got.”

Prompto held the ice/hot against his forehead, only to stare as you sat down beside him, “Thanks again.”

“No problem.” You replied, before turning to Cindy, “You can head home, I’m gonna hang with Prompto for a bit.”

Prompto gasped, before turning to his friends, watching them all give him a varying signs of approval, well Noctis and Gladiolus did, Ignis seemed too surprise to realize that it worked.

“So…” You smiled softly, “You like Chocobos?”

Prompto felt his heart leap in his mouth, “Do I!”

~~~~~  

Gladiolus

Today’s the day, Gladiolus thought, his mind not able to focus on the board before him, he didn’t care what it was about anyway all that mattered was you and today he was going to ask you out!

You had joined the school, a few months ago, and only ever seemed to give passing glances to the young Amicitia, a quick wave and a smile, before whisking yourself off to whatever class you had next. Yet after school, it seemed like you became a track star, as you had your stuff packed and was basically sprinting out the room.

Gladiolus was so use to girls throwing themselves at his feet, that the fact you didn’t even seem to give him the time of day just made you seem even more alluring. So today he was going to do it!

“Class dismiss.”

Gladiolus watched as you quickly stood, checking your watch, before grabbing your bag and moving towards the door. “Thanks, Iggy!” He called, tossing his backpack to his spectacle friend, before rushing after you.

Getting into the hall, he was actually rather happy that he was much taller than most of the student body, as he saw the top of your head disappearing down the hall. His long legs broke into a stride as he tried keeping up with you, yet being smaller than himself you managed to squeeze through the crowd so much easier. By the time he got to the front courtyard, he had lost all track of you, could you fucking teleport!

*

“No luck again, big guy?” Prompto asked, laid out on the living room floor of the Amicitia household, the group was suppose to be studying, yet Noctis was sleeping, Prompto was playing on his phone, and Gladiolus was plotting his new plan. The only one studying was Ignis and he didn’t even need it.

“She’s a track star or something, I mean who else can run that fast!” Gladiolus groaned, this was week 2 of his genius plan to sprint after you, and each time you managed to lose him.

“Perhaps if you just spoke to her, instead of chasing her down.” Ignis suggested.

“Nah, now this is personal.” Gladiolus stated, groaning as he heard the doorbell ring, maybe it was the pizza they ordered. “Coming.”

Opening the door, Gladiolus was shocked to see you standing there, holding onto Iris’ hand.

“Gladdy!” Iris cheered hugging her brother tightly.

You smiled softly, “Hi, Gladiolus, Iris’s dance lesson ran a little later today, so I came to drop her off personally. I had reached out to your Father, and he stated that you were home.”

“Uh, yeah.” Gladiolus replied, watching as you kneeled down to Iris’ height.

“Now, Iris remember,” You begun,

“A dancer’s body is her instrument!”

“And you need to keep yourself tune. See you tomorrow.” You smiled, as the small girl hugged you tightly, before you stood, looking to the elder sibling. “See you at school, on Monday.”

“Yeah…” Gladiolus called, as you disappeared down the walkway out the gate.

“Lame!” Noctis called loudly.

“Dude, she was just right there!” Prompto groaned.

“Shut up!”

*

“Iris just do it!”

“What do I get out of it?”

Gladiolus groaned, where did his sweet little sister learn that! “Fine, I’ll do your chores for a week!”

“And pick me up from dance class!”

Gladiolus beamed, he could get behind that, that meant he could see you more often. “Deal.”

This morning’s conversation ran through his head how many times?  Now he stood outside the dance studio, waiting for Iris to finish up.

“Psst! Gladdy!”

Gladiolus all but snapped his neck with the force of his turn, as he saw Iris’ tiny head peeking around the door, waving her big brother over.

“She wants to talk to you.”

Gladiolus almost froze, you wanted to speak to him, maybe sending Iris with a stuff Moogle to ask you out was too much, but how else was he suppose to get your attention? You were a freakin track star! Following Iris to a dance room, he felt his little sister push him in before shuffling over to the window, where parents could watch their kids practice. Stepping into the room, he gasped staring at you, your hair in a high ponytail, and a leotard on your body, showing off every curve and dip of your in shape body.

“Gladiolus.” You called.

Gladiolus smiled softly, sweeping a hand through his hair, “Hey, what’s up?” Only to freeze at the moogle in your arms.

“Iris told me everything.”

The young man, turned over his shoulder glaring at his sister, peeking her head over the window’s ledge, a huge smile on her face.

“Listen I…” He nervously begun.

“So when are you taking me on a date?”

Gladiolus gasped, “I can…I can tonight.”

“I’d love it, pick me up at 6? Dinner and a movie?”

Gladiolus watched you cling tightly to the little Moogle in your arms, than the smile on you face as you awaited his response, before a smile appeared on his face, “Sure.” 

The smile grew!

~~~~~~~

Ignis

There were a few things that bugged Ignis about wearing glasses, but at the top of that list was steam, and for a young man who drank coffee often, it was a problem he had dealt with all the time. So here he sat in the middle of his lecture, his glasses fogged up, as he tried to take notes.

It was either suffer a caffeine headache all day, drink cold coffee or ignore his notes, and hope that he retained some of the information. As he pondered his dilemma , he felt someone nudge his arm, before a small hand wandered by his notes, holding a small purple piece of cloth.

“Thank you.” He replied, as he removed his glasses, cleaning the steam from them, going to hand you back the cloth only to see that you had begun to pack up your bags, moving to your next hour with the bell.

Pocketing the cloth, Ignis was determined to return the kindness, yet each time he got close to you, his body froze up and he became tongue tied. Only managing to get a polite head nod from his body, at your smile, before you whisked yourself away.

“Sounds like you got it bad, Iggy.” Gladiolus state.

“Why don’t you just go ask her out?” Noctis asked, as Prompto nudged him.

“Dude you can’t just ask a girl out, it makes you look like an idiot.” Prompto gasped.

Ignis groaned, he wasn’t entirely certain as to why he told his friends of the dilemma, glancing toward his watch, as he begun moving down a separate hallway.

“Where ya going?”

“The library.”

“We have a library?

Ignis chuckled, as he pushed open the door, only to stop, as you were underneath one of the tables, petting around. He moved to return his book, only to stop, this was the perfect chance to return his favor, moving over the young gentlemen cleared his throat, only to realize how bad that was when you leapt slamming your head into the table.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you, are you looking for something?”

You crawled out from under the table, squinting your eyes to him, “Ignis? Oh, I’m looking for my glasses, I knocked them off the table, and they’re unfortunately the same color as the carpet.”

Ignis knelt, “Perhaps, I can be of assistance.”

“Really? Thank you so much!” You smile, as your hands continued to search the floor.

Ignis immediately found the glasses, it seems they had fallen underneath your chair, “Here you are. Also thank you.”

You took your glasses back, placing them on your face, “I should be thanking you.”

“Actually this was long overdo, I never did get to thank you.” He stated handing you the purple cleaning cloth.

“Oh, you still have that! I have so many, I figured you needed one too, please keep it.” You giggled, “You know how hot drinks and glasses don’t get along.”

Ignis smiled, as he pocket the cloth, “Indeed, perhaps, if you wouldn’t mind, I could take you out for coffee?”

You giggle softly, picking up your books, “I would like that.”

“Shall we after school?” Ignis inquired, fighting to keep the blush down as you smiled so warmly to him than adjust your glasses so cutely.

“That sounds amazing, would you mind walking with me to class?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

[abifal]

So I may have done a thing hehehe

"You just HAD to come to work today, didn't you?" Kara was breathing heavy, one hand on the wall and the other on her knee. "One. Favor. 'Don't go to L-Corp on Friday, please'. That's all I asked"

"How many times have I told you that a thread wouldn't stop me? I'm perfectly capable of manage them" as to prove the point, she knocks out a goon that was groaning on the floor. "Now excuse me if I don't see you out, Supergirl"

"See me out? SEE ME OUT? Lena there's at least twenty more people after you, only on the floor below! You have to come with me, like right now, to the DEO, I can't hold on much more"

They're both face to face now, Lena fuming with anger and betrayal, Kara on anger and worry for her.

"You don't get to tell me what the fuck to do, you lost that privilege" she replies on a low, cold voice.

But whatever Kara was going to say, it's cut by more gunshots and noises outside the door, of people coming for them. That seems to get a reaction out of Lena, who directs them to her private elevator, while Kara uses the last of her energy to shield them.

"This elevator is practically a safe box, I doubt they'll be able to get us. However you should be able to get out from the left side" the brunette states. Both women trying to low their heartbeat after another kidnap attempt.

"Huh, cool cool. Just a second"

Lena looks at her. She's leaning on the wall, taking deep breaths while pressing her right side. There's a black shade under her eyes, and she looks impossibly more thin. Are those bruises marks where her supersuit is torn?

Lena is suddenly filled with worry

"Oh my god Kara, please tell me you haven't blown your powers" she ask, pinching her nose, feeling the start of a headache.

'I... Uh.. didn't blow my powers?" She replies with a wince.

Lena knows it's not her fault, but all the pent up energy, anger and frustration of the last weeks, combined with small spaces, just gets her to spill.

"Perfect, just perfect. Are you kidding me Kara? How on Earth did you manage that? No, don't answer, it's rethorical. You don't get to sent me a message like that after all of this, without explanation or something else"

She's pacing now, if doing three steps each way can be called that. Gesturing wildly with her hands to accentuate her anger.

"Lena..."

"And why do you look like you haven't sleep or eat in a week? You might be a super but you're not invencible, god dammit. But no, you just keep going straight to the battle. You want to die? That's why you're doing things like this? Don't you have friends to remind you to take care of yourself? And don't tell me they don't know about you, because I'm Damm sure I was the only one out of the loop" Now she sounds... Worried?

"Lena..." Kara tries again, more firmly, but it goes without notice again.

"So what, now we are in lockdown, guns pointed a our heads, you without powers. You could die, Kara, DIE. Not even Alex could get you in time. And on L-Corp of all places. I can see tomorrow news 'eye for eye, a Super for a Luthor'. God frickin dammit, I've worked so hard for you to do this to me!"

That was all, Kara had have enough. She did something she had never done.

"LENA, could you just fucking SHUT UP for a second, thank you"

She was left speechless, her mind rebooting after what she heard. Kara sunshine Danvers, cursing and shouting, to her? Was the elevator this hot before?

"Now listen to me. You're going to calm down and plan a way to get out of here while I call Alex. And that way it's going to be human one, because yes, I blew my powers thanks to this twelve attempt on your life this week, you're welcome" her tone left no room to argument "then we're going to order pizza, drink that french wine you like, sleep at least ten hours, and then have good, large talk. Okey?"

Lena shivered a little, this side of Kara was giving her some really inappropriated thoughts. She was right, and her mind was already looking for a way out, but she wouldn't be a Luthor if she went down without a fight. So she muttered 'One would think kryptonians have a better performance', half wanting to be heard, half wanting it to be too low for her to catch.

An amused 'oh, really?' was heard, follow by "I'll gladly show you what a real performance is one of those days"

Lena's eyes went wide for a second, her mind racing. The elevator was definitely hot than before. Years of training let her recover her cool quick enough to not be notice

"Well that's going to have to wait. Let's get out of here, you own me a pizza"

They both smiled at each other. There were things that would require more than a talk to work out, but maybe, just maybe, pizza and wine could be the first step.

"Yeah, I suppose I do"

kara and lena locked in a elevator on s5 while they are pissed at their situation or bust (kara’s powers are busted for some reason) and at some point of their lockdown lena’s like “well, punch a wall and get us out of here or something” and kara’s like “i cant just turn my powers on, you know. i just busted them helping you with kidnap number 50” and lena’s like “oh, so kryptonians have perfomance issues as well?”

“i will show you what a real perfomance is one of those days” kara murmurs and frowns. Lena just quirks a eyebrown and ignores how hot the elevator seems to be right now. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 😒 Janis: already sick of 'em and they ain't even here yet Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Them or Gracie, like? Janis: 🔨📍on the head there Janis: being such a twat and dad's made enough tapas to sink several ships Janis: coming here to experience our culture, not their own imitated, ffs Jimmy: If I put on an accent can I grab some of that? Jimmy: Starving here Janis: as long as you lisp at grace that she looks fine Janis: about to facetime you Janis: so important, obviously Jimmy: Coming here to experience our culture, mate 👍 Janis: who's culture now? Jimmy: Grace's by the sounds Jimmy: You can leave her too it after a quick hola Jimmy: You should be #buzzing Janis: yeah, great as it is she's offering herself up for entertainment Janis: still gonna be a random twat in my gaff for however long it even is Janis: do the school do background checks? doubt it Janis: could be a murderer, or from a family of murderers and he's scoping us out for when we turn up with our spanglish Jimmy: It's alright, you can come and be the random twat in my gaff Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Can't handle it? 💪 Ultimate challenge to accept, that is Jimmy: 🥊💀 Janis: so sweet 💘 Janis: let's face it, better taking my chances with them than with your dad, ain't I Jimmy: Bring 'em round they'll soon wanna pack up and do one Jimmy: Can't get a warmer welcome Janis: At least we live in a fucking city Janis: googled where they're from earlier Janis: middle of fucking nowhere doesn't cover it Janis: been stitched up big time lads Jimmy: Unlucky Jimmy: You'd have been better off coming on a trip down memory lane to my old Northern haunts. Least we aren't pretending its nowt but shite Janis: Seriously Janis: do my report on all the weird shit you so Janis: more 🤔 than spanish tbh Jimmy: #realtalk Jimmy: When they showing themselves? Time wise, not for the twats they are, like, that'll be immediate Janis: Ha, we're picking 'em up tonight, let them have a day off tomorrow before they have to join us in hell, like Janis: Pablo reckons he's already scoped out the decents girls, if you would like that list forwarded to you, sure it can be arranged Jimmy: I was gonna ask if I could see you but there's a better offer if I ever heard one Jimmy: Tah mate Janis: he's just shouted his snapchat handle down the stairs Janis: such a delight Jimmy: Here's hoping he can get some lasses to agree or 💔🎻 Janis: love to reckon the spanish girls have got a bit more about 'em than the locals Janis: but i ain't the optimistic one Jimmy: Either way, unlucky for him or Grace Jimmy: Gonna be a laff finding out who'll come out the winner Janis: yeah, it's the little things, ain't it babe Janis: one of us needs to be not 😖🔫 about it Jimmy: aww mate Janis: I know Janis: tragic Janis: all I wanted was the easy pass and a ticket outta here Jimmy: Let's go then Jimmy: Can't get in the shit for not being a welcome wagon if they can't find you Janis: Ha, where? Janis: Nowhere in Dubo far away enough that I won't get dragged back in order to save my last shred of good manners Jimmy: Can just drive, can't we? Jimmy: See where the road takes us Janis: sounding so dad rock babe 😘 Janis: better not, gracie would fucking love that Jimmy: Piss off. Was gonna sing you a power ballad but now you can whistle Jimmy: Yeah, good reason as any then Janis: aww please 🙏 Jimmy: Come find me and I'll think about it Janis: Playing hide and seek now? Janis: honestly, the europeans are coming and you've gone all melodramatic and fruity Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Only in my second home, aren't I? Jimmy: Your true love makes better decisions than you, happy to run off with me she was Janis: Don't wanna do her down 'cos she's suddenly competition but she'd go with anyone with a pocketful of treats Janis: #jussayin #truthtea #scalding Jimmy: Don't need to be telling me, you're the one 😍💕 I've always seen her for the bitch she is Janis: Yeah well you're as bad as I am, according to general consensus here 🤷 Jimmy: You what? Jimmy: Who's chatting shit about me now Janis: 😂 Janis: no need to 🥊 up quite yet Janis: when ur biggest fan turns Janis: knew it couldn't last forever Jimmy: when she isn't excited about the Spanish lads, just how busy you'll be with 'em Jimmy: still trying to snatch me #long game Janis: oh mate Janis: ain't gonna deflate your massive head to bring you down, like Janis: sure that's the master plan Jimmy: 😎 Janis: come at me then fucking... Janis: rodrigo and Janis: juan Jimmy: I'm pissing myself Jimmy: Just shit up some random nan Jimmy: Hope she isn't a mate of yours Janis: The grey hair massive Janis: you'll find out soon enough 👊 Jimmy: 💪 ready as I'm gonna be Janis: don't tell her i've been training you Janis: the betrayal Jimmy: Strong, silent type, me Janis: 😏 code for moody twat if i've ever heard it Jimmy: Oi Janis: 💞 Jimmy: You better be walking to meet us Jimmy: Hanging round like a dickhead in case, like Janis: Yes, dear 🙄 Janis: dad needed more ingredients so easy out in the end Jimmy: He's done you one favor then Jimmy: And me, since I burned my bridges with that 👵 Janis: no GILFs tonight boy Jimmy: Good Janis: ah the romance Jimmy: You have that when you show up Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Yeah, Twix gives the best hellos 👅 Jimmy: Funny Janis: don't be jelly Janis: hot houseguest ain't even here yet Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Don't remind me Janis: as if he will be, gonna be some poor greasy spic Jimmy: Find out soon enough Janis: anyway, Gracie'd have my hand off if he was Janis: no chance 😂 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Gutted for you, mate Janis: Ikr Janis: Really feel it Jimmy: I do Jimmy: Get a move on, I wanna see you before it's dark Janis: tell you what, keep it coming with the lines tonight, babe Janis: never heard that before 😳 Jimmy: It's not Janis: yeah well Janis: you know Jimmy: Yeah Janis: she literally ran out of hairspray Janis: tells you how my day has been Janis: no point going home if i pick up the wrong one, like Jimmy: Don't then Jimmy: Snuck you in and outta here enough times to know what I'm doing Janis: Don't tempt me Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Yeah and I've got the rep Janis: s'all you Jimmy: Not sorry Janis: I know you ain't Janis: shameless Jimmy: I want you, no shame in it Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: My day's been about missing you, mate Janis: I missed you too Jimmy: We got a lot of time to make up but I'm up for that Jimmy: Been thinking about you a lot Janis: Really? You can tell me all about it when I get there then Jimmy: I will Janis: Gonna have to go back to yours, like Janis: park's seen enough action, and that's just from Twix 😶 Jimmy: Filthy bitch, she is Jimmy: It's alright, pops ain't there as per Janis: don't care if he is Jimmy: Big talk Janis: if you doubt i can back it up then Janis: ✌ Jimmy: Not saying that Jimmy: I like it Janis: good Jimmy: You're good Janis: Got more work to do if you think that Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: not how it works, accepting on my behalf but good to know you're a willing participant like Janis: awkward at this point to find out otherwise Jimmy: And there's gonna be enough #awks when the exchange kids roll up Janis: ugh Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: How long they gonna be about? Janis: 2 weeks then same over there Jimmy: 😒 Janis: I know Janis: 'cos odds are at least one or two of 'em will be unbearable Janis: likely more, we don't need to add any more twats to the pot Jimmy: I'm the foreign dickhead in these parts, lads Jimmy: No room for you Janis: n'awh no more new boy shine forreal Jimmy: 💔 Janis: end of an era, mate Jimmy: Fully gutted Janis: you'll always have tam Jimmy: Thank god 💍 Jimmy: Girl's committed Janis: Yeah, so ride or die Janis: one hoe that is loyal Jimmy: ride or die like she might kill me Janis: I mean Janis: you keep playing Janis: girl gon snap Jimmy: you gonna protect me or what? Janis: who am i to stand in the way of true love Janis: or that girl's reach Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: It was quality when you smacked Mia though, not even mad you also decked me Jimmy: Good times Janis: years in the making that one Janis: when bae LOVES the pain 😏 Jimmy: Is she having a Spaniard because they better love it if it's a yeah Janis: Duh Janis: love the clout of being like here, have the west wing Janis: no idea what hers is like, poor fucker regardless Jimmy: She should've bowed out like I did Jimmy: Talk about doing a runner Janis: shoulda woulda coulda Janis: too late now Jimmy: Whoever she gets won't say no to me Jimmy: You had your chance, mate Janis: Shut up Jimmy: You getting jealous of a fictional foreign kid over there, like? Janis: You wish Jimmy: I do Jimmy: It's quality when you try and fake that you aren't Janis: 🖕 i hate u Jimmy: You don't Janis: okay, hate's a bit strong, like Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: give you cute in a minute Jimmy: I know Jimmy: Come here to me then

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Didn't say you had a girlfriend Rio: but you can tell her she's hitting me up with the back off too late and under fucked up misunderstanding, like 😂 Buster: Didn't say it 'cause I don't Buster: If some girl wishes that's her problem Buster: And yours now like 😂 Rio: It ain't funny, blowing up my phone making me look suspect, like Rio: anyway, Nance gave me the lowdown already so I know she's a cunt so I don't have to hold back Buster: Who's laughing? Buster: Send her my way if she's that desperate Buster: The lads are boring like Rio: Seriously? Rio: No I will Rio: if you're gonna do your own like that you can sort it yourself, not her pimp Rio: not* Buster: Whatever Rio: It so isn't but that's on you Rio: Are you lot out tonight then? Buster: Course Buster: You think I'm waiting at home for you, babe? Rio: Har dee har Rio: sounds like you had a cosy night in in mind tbf Rio: where you going then, wanna meet up? Buster: Not got the light or kettle on like Buster: Sick of the lad already? Rio: Yeah, what you had in mind Rio: Nah, but 2 ain't a party Rio: and I'm going home tomorrow so Buster: Wanna see if he can hang Buster: Fair Buster: I'll bring the party to you then, babe Rio: Pretty much Rio: You're feeling chipper today Buster: I'll insult you when I get there if you really want Rio: Not my kink Rio: would get us back to the status quo though Buster: Just buzzing 'cause you're off home and outta my way like Buster: Can't blame me Rio: I bet Buster: Not looking forward to kicking it in your own ends any more or what? Buster: I know you'll miss me but come on Rio: Nah but it ain't gonna be all fun and games when I get back is it Rio: Shit to sort Rio: but gotta be done Rio: and you wish Rio: I got reason to come back and annoy you some more now Buster: You're not gonna get grounded Buster: Don't worry about it Buster: And I know, kid Buster: Always making it obvious, Cavante Rio: Don't be daft Rio: I've gotta look out for Nance Rio: avoid another ex Rio: all that drama Rio: You're OBVIOUSLY deranged, McKenna Buster: You're used to all that shit many times over Buster: You got this, ma Rio: Shut up! 😂 Rio: Doesn't mean I don't get tired of it Buster: It ain't my fault you've had more exes than I've had fam dinners Buster: Not even starting on family bullshit of yours Buster: Well I'll sort you a decent line when I get there, put a pep back in your step, yeah? Rio: Yeah it is Rio: No show, you are Rio: and bet you've had more, just 'cos you ain't claiming 'em Rio: Go for it Buster: Fuck off I'm being nice here Buster: Trying to give you a proper going away and you're trying to fight me Rio: 🤷 Rio: Soz Rio: Only way I know how, clearly, all those exes, like Buster: What's wrong, babe? I know you ain't gonna miss me that bad so what is it? Rio: You shouldn't fuck Chloe Rio: Idk, you shouldn't have put that in my head Buster: I haven't Buster: She's not my type. I know what you reckon but I do have some standards Rio: Alright, good Rio: Too many lines already, I'm paranoid Rio: she's bad news Buster: Come get some fresh air with me then Buster: Plenty of people say that about me, like. Not that I'm trying to make a connection to her. Fuck that Rio: Might help Rio: Thought you were with your boys though Rio: Yeah but, at least you're upfront about what you are, good or bad Rio: 🐍 Buster: They'll be fine if I don't hold their hands through every song, babe Buster: She's really got to you, yeah? Rio: I'm just being dramatic, too many strangers here Rio: but she did a number on Nancy, that I know for facts, stand by the bad vibes even if I could relax on it rn Buster: Where are you, specifics. I'm come and get you if you ain't coming out Buster: Find those cunts later Rio: Idk, ages away from yours Rio: we're meant to be but the pre-party still going strong Rio: I'll meet you somewhere? Buster: Keep your phone on, I'll be that stalker and work out where you are Buster: Meet you near Rio: Not just a pretty face, ladies and gents Rio: It's alright, just pick a club, no need to ruin the night Buster: At least you're finally admitting how hot I am Rio: 🙄 Really needing the ego boost, yeah? Sure 👌😂 Buster: Find you in The Grand, yeah? Rio: Got it Buster: Half an hour max Rio: Cool, I'm nearer than you so I'll see you in there Rio: *He'd obviously been offended she wanted to leave the party and get a headstart on him on the town, but it was way too soon to show it (thank fuck) and still save face, so she got out without much pouting and whining. Only needed to take one bus, turns out she was about five minutes down the road from Clapham, tops; good to know. Maybe that was why she was feeling so out of it? Not knowing where she was, and who with? Been in that scenario before though and she'd not got this rattled so- blatant bullshit. Rio didn't plan on admitting it to him, but it had way more to do with Buster McKenna than was healthy. Head fuck.  This is why they avoided each other, and had for a while now. It weren't no good trying to just be nice to each other, always went too far. And arguing and being cunts didn't exactly cool the energy between 'em either. No, ignoring each other's existence was key. And yet here she was, going out to party with him. Well fucking done, girl. She rolled her eyes at herself, jogging up and down on the spot impatiently, near enough to the front of the club's queue now she needed to remember to look her hottest so they'd let her in faster. And result. She was in, no coat to put up, so she was away. Barstool, 'round of vodka shots, sorted. Toes tapping, faster than the beat of this shit tune. It was pretty early still, the club only now filling up. Shouldn't have an issue finding her. Not that it was a good idea but finish what they'd started now, like.* Buster: *The lads had been chilling at his since the afternoon doing fuck all of much but getting on his nerves, and when Barnaby suggested getting the drinks in and making something of the night he wasn't even the most relieved of the lot of them, like, so face saved there. Nice one, lad. It was the first decent favor any of them had done him in Christ knows how long, not that he was letting it show. Not a fucking amateur at that either, cheers. There was a girl he'd swiped that was why he was keen to be off. No other reason that they'd had to be privy to. James had been chatting about his cousin since he got with her and Buster wasn't trying to add to that conversation. They didn't know what they were fucking saying anyway. Silly pricks. Let them wonder and speculate over his antics tonight with the Tinder blonde, or any other, they loved it. He had his own mind full of bullshit that he personally didn't love. Worry was a new emotion regarding Rio, one that he didn't feel confident over dealing with, and a lack of confidence was even newer territory than giving a shit about Cavante's emotions. Or so he told himself before he racked up the lines to turn all that off for a while. Worked out proper well for him that had, here he was off and running to cheer her up or what the fuck ever. What was his fucking goal meant to be? Soft cunt. Gonna send her goodnight texts later or what, like? Stupid. Get real all he was gonna do was buy her some watered down drinks for as long as she let him. Big fucking deal and no great help. Still, as soon as he was in he took the stool next to her and did exactly that, ordering more of what she already had.* Rio: *And just like that, he was there by her side. As if this was all standard and they did it all the time. This week maybe but neither of them should get too fucking cosy with the idea, like. She took her share of the drinks without protest, even though she had nothing but empties to offer by the time he arrived. * Next round, like. *She shrugged, spinning the nearest shot glass aimlessly, avoiding eye contact She then spun herself to face the dance floor, like she was surveying the talent from her perch on high. This was fucking ridiculous. He'd be saying as much if she didn't act fast. Jumping up, the tunes still not there but she'd have to make do. As she weaved her way through the crowds, she took a second to break the rules and make eye contact, looking back at him and motioning with a question of 'are you coming?' hanging in the air.* Buster: *He wasn't listening to her 'cause that's how focused he had to be on not staring at her. She looked so fucking good. He'd said as much the other day, believing it when he did, but this was different. He felt it bones deep and more crucially, didn't know how not to show he was being affected. Fuck's sake. No more coke for him until he got his shit together like. Sort your head out, you twat. He shook it, playing as if he was shrugging off her offer to pay 'cause it was better she reckoned he was trying to buy her off again than- What? For the second time tonight he was already asking himself what the fuck he was trying to achieve. Shit. At least before he could chat any more nonsense to himself, or her, Rio was up and away. Not far enough given how easy dancing made it to be close, like, but a reprieve he could count in seconds. Breaths to take. Buster should've known in the next minute she'd steal it all off him with a look. Course. It was an old game. And he'd never once played by the rules, had he? It was too late to start now. He wasn't no choir boy and she was leaving in the morning she'd said. Fuck it. Not a fucking amateur, remember? He'd call her bluff and cheer her up before this shit tune was done. It was just dancing, who the hell was he if he couldn't handle that, yeah? Rio: *Again, screaming internally, asking what the fuck she thought she was doing and why the hell she was doint it; All the while making no effort to slow down, never mind stop. So glad he couldn't read her as well as he claimed, the fucking laugh he'd have about how much she was silently protesting (much too much for it to be anything but mortifying; and very bloody telling). Still, she knew the feeling of eyes lingering on her body well enough by now to know that's what was happening, what he was doing, despite himself. Despite herself, and what a good, sensible girl should do, she smirked, smug satisfaction at taking the lead in both senses. Fuck it, she could say it was the coke making her act up. If he was feeling brave enough in his own good behaviour to question it after. Not likely. So why not? She wanted this right now, so she was going for it. Whatever 'it' was. Stop thinking. Let your body takeover completely. With that in mind, or out of it, she began to move, getting closer to him than was necessary, routine full of 'almost' contact, designed to tease.* Buster: *The song was still shit but he wasn't listening to it either now. Couldn't hear anything but the sound of two heartbeats, his thumping enough to be shaming if he gave a fuck about anything other than getting closer than she already was to him, and hers once he was, echoing such a similar beat. There was smugness in having her rhythm there alongside the intrusion of his, literally hammering away at her pretense of utter control too. Loud and clear for him, drowning out everything that had been said before. Bullshit. Necessary but still ridiculous to look back on from where they were now. Nice try, Cavante, 'cause guess what, I know you are, babe. He wore a smirk to match hers, letting his 'routine' in turn spell out that the teasing shit had gone on long enough, while the hand which had settled on her waist as he moved pulled her body into his. He'd snorted his fair share of lines if he needed something to blame it on other than just being fucking over it and wanting to play a new game and it was unlikely she was gonna challenge him at this point. Hardly blameless herself, yeah? Whatever.* Rio: *She looks down at where his hand has ended up, eyes traveling back up to meet his, slowly, appreciating his body as she did so, letting him know she knew it was anything but a happy accident, but that she wasn't going to say anything either way. Hardly could now, could she? A silent deal being made on the floor tonight. 'This stays between us.' It didn't mean anything, like. Just sexual attraction, however fucked. She wouldn't hold it against his character if he didn't against hers. What happened in the club, like. Such a fucking cliche, Christ; but she felt like being one just this once if it felt this good. She had her back towards him now, winding up and down, hips clashing, making her ache. Before Rio could stop herself (a reoccurring theme of her time with him, it seemed), she had placed her hands over his, still on her waist, and was moving them down, to where she wanted them right now. Fuck. He was definitely going to pull away now, probably have some choice words for how sick and creepy and wrong she was and she didn't have a leg to stand on, no case to fight. Before he could, thinking fast (hopefully faster than he could), she pulls gently on his neck, so she can reach his ear to shout into it, shit tunes always being played too loud.* You promised me a line. Buster: *He shouldn't be this turned on by a few dance moves and unwavering eye contact but he is and there was no way she couldn't know, bodies pressed against each other as tightly as they were. Fucking hell. Yeah, he could lie to himself that it was the fault of the rich, white girls he usually approached not knowing how to dance without doing shit imitations of their current favorite pop icon or being too eager to check him out (sizing him up the same as he did them) to hold his gaze, but that's all it'd be, more bullshit when he'd already said no more.  It was too fucking obvious what this was about and what he wanted. And every movement of hers was as telling. None more so than when she stopped herself, 'cause it was forced in a way that none of their other actions had been, thought out instead of fluid. Of course, immediately after came a brief moment when he reckoned she was gonna nibble on his earlobe or something. No going back then, like, but he should've realised the headfuck was gonna come from a more familiar (as far as Rio Cavante was concerned) direction. Christ. When was the last time another girl had left him wanting more, this much and this soon? Buster couldn't remember. Couldn't think.  State of him.  At least her pulling away to speak let him breathe. He smirked again, faking regaining more composure than he had around her as standard, never mind on a night like this. Nodding his head in the direction of the toilets briefly, he leaned in to reply. * Come on, let's get you sorted. Rio: *She took him by the hand, pulling him through the crowd with an impatience they could both pretend was about coke. Yeah, right. Neither of 'em was fooled or in the mood for fooling now. Her mind had been fully made up for her when his reaction of outrage, disgust, and horror hadn't come; but the opposite had, the hardness she felt tight against her mirroring the ache she felt, less obvious outwardly but, was it though? He knew. She knew he knew so time to do something about it, boy! Now or never, like. Door swinging behind 'em, pulling him into the first free cubicle, reaching behind his frame to lock up, purposely trailing her hand against his exposed forearm, outstretched fingers softly trailing along the veins there, taut between ample muscle and goosebumped skin. Fucking hell. It wasn't her fault he was so god damn attractive. Regret it in the morning. She'd be long gone by then. Breaking eye contact away from where it had fallen below the belt (oops), she grinned, green meeting blue, breathing as laboured as heart.* Go on then... Buster: *The last thing he should have done was followed her into a space where every time his body shifted (however fucking subtly. Or not) it brushed somehow against hers, bringing them back to teasing each other, 'cause unless he pushed her fully against the cubicle wall there was no way to create the blatant friction they both craved, and he wasn't about to do that. Not yet. If she wanted coke, she was gonna have it. Simple as. Just as well that act was though, distracted as he'd become, like. If Buster let himself look back on any of tonight (not wise but nevertheless still likely) he'd pat himself on the back for once again not being a fucking amateur, fine chopping the lines on his coffee table before he came out so all that was left was to unwrap that shit, lay hers out and roll up a note. He'd been on autopilot getting the drugs from his pocket, breathing ragged as hers, the feeling of her stare (and where it was purposefully aimed) leaving him incapable of coherent thought about anything else. Fuck. He wanted her so bad. His own eyes fixed on the locked door, checking and rechecking, focused solely on trying to do that until the memory of her touching his arm resurfaced and then all he could think of was the idea that formed. He smirked for...what a third time? ... Christ knows, before laying her coke out on another, higher patch of exposed skin, eyebrow raised, wordlessly asking Rio how badly she wanted her share now.* Rio: *And there it was. Another silent challenge, a dare. No need for fucking words creating any unwanted space between them, made her wonder why they'd ever bothered when this was so, SO much better. No comparison. Of course, the answer was they bothered so they didn't end up here but she wasn't listening to sense tonight, fuck off. Right now, she WANTED to be here, nowhere else she'd rather, frankly. Fret over it later, like. Or not. It felt TOO damn right to call it wrong. So she wouldn't. And he wouldn't. And no one else need ever know. She wants to hesitate, knows she should. Eyebrows raising to make some display of being all 'really?', like she's so scandalized or not into it, only doing it 'cos she couldn't refuse a dare, could she? But Rio Cavante didn't even flinch, crashing into him full force, pushing him against the door, arms wrapped around his neck to steady herself, steady them both. This close, the heat of him unbearably sexy, his body was so toned and fucking perfect, Christ! She felt dizzy with it, sweat was slicking the white powder to his naked skin, collar bone a natural shelf to hold it. The temptation to lick it off him like salt for a tequila shot was almost too much but she didn't want to be accused of wasting the coke, so she pressed her nose into him, snorting it with ease, shuddering more from the sensation of being this close than anything else, tipping her head back in pleasure, hoping he didn't hear the small moan than found its way out.* Fuck! *Snapping her head back, rubbing her nose with a sniff, damn. Okay. She obviously had to one-up him. What else was a girl to do, yeah? She moved away, to the bag still laid out on the top of the loo, grabbing it 'fore he had a chance to stop her or do anything else to drive her crazy. Shit, she had to take back some control, like! She smirked back at him, the solution to her problem of how to best Buster McKenna becoming obvious as she looked down. Racking it up on her ample cleavage, as if to say, triple dog dare you, McKenna* Buster: *There was half a second as his shoulder blades hit the door, rattling the hinges with the force of their bodies colliding again, closer than they'd been yet somehow but still, at the same time - impossibly- not enough, that he wanted to tell her 'fuck the coke' or something like it. Swore he could almost feel the words tumbling out, begging practically for her to just fucking kiss him instead. But he didn't. Or make a move to himself either. As soon as he heard her moan he knew why, even though they'd waited years and his entire body was insisting that he couldn't any more, refusing in the form of his own shudders as he stood there, knees weak from barely any contact. Fuck's sake. There was so much promise in that sound that Buster grinned, holding her gaze with baited breath until she gave his eyes no choice but to travel with her, settling exactly where she planned for them to. * Oh fuck. *If she said anything about him stealing the words out of her mouth later (not that they could chat about any of this casually) he'd deny it, not realising an echo had escaped from him as he launched himself towards her, lifting her slightly so she rose to meet his bowed head easily. Finally Rio's back landed hard (thankfully against wood same as his had rather than cold, dirty porcelain) with force enough that she'd feel it tomorrow. He wanted that more than anything, even as his line disappeared, snorted all too soon. Fuck her trying to pretend she didn't remember, if her mind pulled that shit her body would call her a liar. He'd made sure of that, like. There was always more he could do though, and he didn't hesitate to put his mouth on the skin she'd already offered him, kisses desperately hard and bruising as his hands trailed lightly down her body, skimming each curve more brazenly than he'd ever looked her up and down before. Christ that seemed like a lifetime ago, her beckoning him onto the dance floor. Not that it mattered. Too much had happened to go back now and there was well more than he needed to happen still.* Rio: *Her cries, a mixture of pleasure and pain as she was unceremoniously slammed into the wall, caught in her throat. Like she couldn't express how much she wanted this, NEEDED this. And she couldn't. No moaning or dirty talk was going to cut it but she could but try. Knowing he knew regardless, and that he felt it too, only amped it up further.* You want me so bad, huh?* Stating the obvious for her own satisfaction, no question mark needed. Muffled curses at him; warning him if he dared stop, to do more, worse, faster, harder, NOW; acting as their version of pillow talk. Pulling his hair, novelty of being above him in the literal. Rio found purchase, sitting atop the toilet, kicking the seat down so he could kneel as she spread her legs for him, pushing his head down, showing him where she needed him.* Please, Buster, please... *She didn't care that this was a club bathroom, that people could definitely hear them, that they'd be hearing a lot more soon if she had anything to do with it. That he was her fucking cousin. Fuck. She just did not care about anything but having him touch her, fuck her. But before he could, there was a monstrous bang on the door that rattled the hinges harder than they had only a few minutes previous.* Shit! Legs clamping shut, jumping down from the seat, pocketing the drugs in her bra without hesitation, she clambered over him, pushing him back, so he was sat down.* I got this, yeah? Worry about yourself. Catch you later... *Rio murmured, squeezing his hand in the hope he'd fucking listen to her, not trusting a coked out McKenna to deal with what was clearly a bouncer and not just a punter desperate for a piss, like. She squeezed out of the smallest possible gap in the door, shutting it behind her, so Buster wasn't spotted.* Buster: *Fuck me. *Holy shit, every word out of her mouth was fucking him up but it was the begging that REALLY sent him over and made him use a phrase that was ridiculously literal. He couldn't help it, knowing that she wanted him bad enough to say that shit out loud what he hadn't when the coke first came out, made more than his knees go weak. He was about to insist that she told him what she wanted again, just to hear it, biting his lip to prevent a moan from coming out before the sentence did when something makes everything stop. It turned his wants back to fantasy, yet again becoming a scenario that wouldn't happen. 'Cause he isn't stupid. As much as many other parts of him were desperate to ignore the pounding on the door, his head, coked out as it is, still knows that they can't. The hired muscle out there wouldn't let them. Shit. It was somehow the unrealest part of this, fucked up as that sounded even to no other ears but his own, that this was how the night was going to end, not how he'd finally let himself want it to. They'd both given in, fully, and there was no pretending at this point (whatever he might convince himself of later, dismissing the night as a weird headfuck etc etc) the drugs were why he wanted her so badly. And worse, all they were now were the reason why he couldn't have her. Fuck's sake. Buster hadn't felt a surge of anger overwhelm him this utterly -suddenly too- since his sister left. Wherever he looked was flooded red, and for Rio's frantic movement, the only thing he managed to do was bite his tongue and clench his fists. Until she'd gone and then he stood up, immediately pacing (an agitated cokehead cliche) the cubicle transformed into a cage he didn't dare leave in this state. Just as well 'cause the next second had him striking out, kicking out hard at the space where their bodies had been, with as much power as he felt had been robbed from him. The wood protested one last time, drowning every sound in his head out with the crash, thank fuck. The cubicle didn't fall to pieces, of fucking course, 'cause it was another thing he needed to happen and he sank back onto the toilet seat, taking shallow breaths.*