#i only wear sungalsses

[bunbunpawz]

Things that Japan doesn’t have, except it does?

1. sunglasses In Japan it’s very rare to see someone wear sunglasses. Sunglasses are seen as arrogant, kinda like how it used to be considered ‘cool’ in america to wear dark sungalssses, that sense of “cool” is seen as arrogant in Japan and just like jewlerly they try to avoid it as to not stand out.  Still, they sell sunglasses at stores, and if you really need them you can get them. Usually if you see someone with sunglasses, they’re a foreigner or at the beach.  fun fact, instead of sungalsses in Japan, people tend to wear big floppy hats to hide from the sun and be able to see when it’s super bright out. Japanese in general are very concious of the UV rays and most people will slap on some sunscreen and seeing people with parasols is more than normal throughout the year. Some people go as far as to cover their arms with dettachable sleeves to cover them from the sun’s UV rays. 2. Deodorant Japanese people are asian, and asians tend to have less sweat glance and less of a need for deodorant, plus in Japan people dislike “strong” smells like perfumes and yes even deodorant.  But there are *some* very minor deodorant options in Japan if you really need it. The one I use, seems to have been targeted towards men, but it’s the one that feels the most “normal” to me so I like it. It’s bigger compared to the girly petite ones that to me at least look like it would get tacky and sticky and ewe, and the smell would just annoy me if it has any, so I went for the scentless one. Although it’s for “men” (found in the men section but meant for anyone that needs it) it’s not that big, in comparison to my deodorant from abroad it’s the same size or even smaller, but the image of it is that it’s rough and bulky. It also does have a scent option, which is, a strong mint or a less strong mint, both I like and was tempted to get but thought the mint scent might come off masculine and so for the time being I’m testing out the scentless one.  Also they’re kinda pricey. 3.Perfume As said before, Japanese don’t like strong scents, and  so perfumes aren’t used on a daily and regular basis here. Ofc as in any other country there are still stores that sell perfuem. Mainly used for the nigth life and outgoings like dates and weekend events. I personally have yet to come across someone using perfume. I have smelled many good smelling ladies around me on the train, but it’s usually due to their lotions and creams that have a very soft scent to them. Personally i went on a mission to find a perfume as I prefer to smell of a strong perfume scent than a strong sweaty smell during the hot weather in Japan lol I have yet to find ANY perfumes near me and I do not have the time to go out and search in other towns and cities...I have found some “body mists” in very very tiny bottles and their smell vanishes so fast but if it’s all I can get I will get!  4.Big Shoe Sizes I know I ranted about this before, and I will once more! size 41 female does not exist in this country, some shoes if you’re lucky get to a size 40 (eu) but 41 is strictly a male size. It’s awful, still there are options for even the big sizes. American and foreign clothing companies in Japan. Zara, H&M, Bershka etc all these companies carry shoes size 41 women, the problem is **they are always sold out** becuase despite Japan wanting to believe there is no demand for this size for women, there are many foreginers and I will bet you some Japanese too that are the same size as me and want to have some feminine shoes and boots. (not to mention our crossdressing buddies out there). For this Rainy Season I just couldn’t get a hold of a pair of basic boots, it was all sold out specifically in the size 41, 40 seemed to still be in stock. *sigh* 4.5 Plus size same as shoes, you’d have better luck going to those standard shops, with some Japanese shops having “over sized” options that might fit, but don’t count on it. In general if you’re a larger size, online shopping is the only option, luckily though some brands have realized cute clothes belong to all and have provided plus options even in Japan Random fun fact, In Japan it is not uncommon to find shoes labled the same as clothes, as in “S, M ,L” isn’t that crazy? With the next order in line being “LL, L2, L3″ guess which one I am? that’s right, L3. Brands only go up to LL if they even go that far up... Not sure who needed this information but good luck with whatever this information helpe with lol

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Gormless Chapter 6 – Tunstell’s mildew breath

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Gormless Chapter 6 – Tunstell’s mildew breath

Last we left our hero she was toting around her bff Ivy, her evil blonde sister, Ivy’s crush but not fiancé Tunstell, and her maid Angelique.  As soon as they get on the dirigible, they are met with Madam LeFoux who’s definitely not up to something, and definitely doesn’t have a strained ex-girlfriends relationship with Angelique. NO WAY!

But like Kudos to LeFoux for leaving her shitty son who just nearly leveled a block of inner-city London on a whim with 1 caretaker who is a ghost who, due to being incorporeal, can’t do shit to stop him from doing it again.

As we all know, Felicity has gotta hit that evil quota and flirts shamelessly with Tunstell just to piss off Ivy.  I was about to type, “I’m not sure why Felicity hates Ivy” but then I remembered that Felicity is evil and she doesn’t need a reason har har.  Alexia, at one point catches Angelique and LeFoux talking angrily with each other on this one deck, so Alexia tries to listen in.  It basically boils down to, “Angelique you need to tell her!”  “I know but not right now!” while the both of them romantically touch each other.  

Alexia just thinks that they’re probably both spies. Lesbionage is a’ foot!

 LeFoux flirts with Alexia some more BLAH BLAH BLAH! Later on, Alexia goes back to her quarters to find that someone tried but failed to break the lock on her bag.

LE GASP!

But before she can come up with a half-baked idea about the culprit being a raccoon, aliens, or this was all occurring in an autistic boy’s snow globe…Ivy staggers in emotionally wounded. We learn that Tunstell has kissed her and Ivy has JUST NOW realized there is conflict here.  Alexia advises against Ivy breaking off her engagement in order to be with Tunstell.  Ivy points out that Alexia married for love.  Allow me to paraphrase Alexia’s responds, “Ehhhh I don’t know if I LOVE him. But I did wanna get dicked.”

REALLY!?

I had to suffer through a book of your petty arguments for you to marry a dude, not because you had a great deal of affection for him, but for his quality erections?!

…..damn what a boss.

(Picture of Alexia wearing huge sungalsses with the text, “Dick or GTFO.”)

So Ivy hees and haws about her uncertainty on the matter. Alexia asks her if she liked kissing him. To which Ivy describes her fated kiss with the love of her life with a single poignant adjective.

Damp

DAMP!?

I was half expecting her to go on to say, “..it was damp, musky, crowded, poorly-lit, with spots of mildew. Oh no wait Tunstell was showing me his basement not kissing me. It’s weird how I mix those two up.”

Fucking hell!  I feel like there are way better silly naïve descriptions you can make about kissing.

“It was like I was being fed warm fruit salad….His lips were like honeydew, his tongue like a curious slice of cantaloupe, his teeth unripe blueberries, and his fingers were adventurous spoons.”

If you want to write Ivy without any creativity just maybe, “It was like a hug…but with our faces.”  

But Alexia is half-listening to Ivy this entire time and treats this all like an annoyance that she’s above.  A part of me related to that, because that’s how I feel about this entire book series. However it’s kinda hypocritical cause Ivy was patient and supportive through all of Alexia’s ramblings on her romantic bullshit.  And let’s be frank here, Ivy’s conflict between marrying for love or stability is cliché but it is a complex and serious problem. Last book Alexia was mad that a woman sat next to Maccon at a party, even though Alexia herself purposely moved her seating away from him.  So pardon me if I find Ivy’s conflict more interesting than that, you utter dipshit.

This story has that narcissistic writing pattern of, “When it happens to the protag it’s serious, but it’s a joke if something more serious happens to a side character.”

So Ivy cries a bunch and nothing is resolved. NOW IT’S TIME FOR DINNER!

So the dinner looks gross so Alexia gives it to Tunstell to eat.  She also needs to join in on the catty chorus of all these women snidely fat and slut shaming women who are neither of those things.  LeFoux just kicks back and gays up the place.  

Tunstell suddenly gets sick and staggers out onto the deck.  LeFoux and Alexia go out to see him.  LeFoux makes the shocking discovery…THAT HE HAS BEEN POISONED! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Say something nice Faps:

Ivy’s crush vs. fiancé is finally a problem

This story is getting gayer

There was a line where Felicity is like, “Hurmph you big old man impersonator LeFoux you don’t care at all for a woman’s appearance” and LeFoux is like, “NAH BRO I TOTALLY DO!” And that was genuinely clever and it made me smile.

Alexia admitting she’s not sure if she loves her husband, was something I was not expecting. I mean a part of it is probably ye olde tsundere bullshit.  However I like the idea that Alexia, even after marriage is not SURE.  Love is a process, and things aren’t fixed if you gets hitched. So I like that detail so there.