#i only had to look up jesus and ari

[blackleatherjacketz]

Good With All Three

Ari Levinson x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+ Only!, NSFW, Explicit Smut, I horny-watched this movie, so I horny-wrote this story, I make no apologies!, Never Have I Ever, Alcohol, Kissing, Ari’s Magnetizing Gaze, Hands, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Vaginal Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Size Kink, Hair Pulling, Praise Kink (for him), Multiple Orgasms

Summary: You and Ari play a late night game of Never Have I Ever and things get very hands-on very quickly.

Word Count: 2.6k+

Tags: @bullet-prooflove​ @skittle479​ @letsby​

Read more of my stories HERE

“Never have I ever had sex in public.” Ari’s prompt leaves his lips as they curl into a smirk, their rosy color masked by the green beer bottle he nearly empties as he leans back in his seat, patiently awaiting your answer.

His questions continue to grow bolder with each sip he takes, ranging from ‘never have I eaten an insect’ to ‘never have I kissed a man’, and now to this. His eyes linger on yours a little bit longer as he draws the last few drops from his bottle, almost as if he can read your thoughts as soon as they darken. He holds your gaze until it finally breaks, venturing down to the patch of chest hair peeking out through his loosely buttoned collar.

You try your best not to envision him shirtless as you finally relent and take a defeated sip of your beer, giving yourself away.

“No shit?” He grins from ear to ear, setting his bottle down before quickly running his hands through his auburn locks. “I’m surprised.”

“Oh, really? Like you haven’t?” Surely someone as confident and attractive as Ari has ended up in a similar situation with someone in the past.

He shakes his head, sitting back up in his seat. “Too risky.” He grasps onto his bottle, examining its empty contents with a regretful sigh. “Gotta keep a low profile.”

“That makes sense.” You pause and think back on your experience in a JC Penny fitting room with your college boyfriend, remembering it with less fondness than you care to admit. “Mine was a long time ago, anyways.” You spin the base of your bottle between your fingers as one last drink swishes around inside it. “Back before all this.”

“Was it fun, at least?” He leans forward with an elbow on the table, a strand of hair falling in front of his eyes as his bottle nearly touches yours. “The thrill of it?”

You shrug your shoulders. “A little. It wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be, though.” You pretend not to notice as his knuckles brush against yours.

“Really? Why not?” His eyes have you again, the dim lighting of your fake resort matching them with the light blue denim of his shirt.

“It was a confined space, and even when he didn’t have that as an excuse… like most guys with big dicks, he didn’t really know how to use it.”

Ari gawks at you with genuine surprise, his eyebrows jumping up into his hairline as they wrinkle his forehead. “Has that been your general experience, or just with him?”

“Mostly everyone. They tend to rely on it too much, you know? And they aren’t very good with their hands or mouths, either.” You consider going into more detail about your past lovers but decide against it, the way he’s looking at you right now suggests a desire for more than historical knowledge.

“That’s a real shame.” He leans in close to you, barely whispering as the top two buttons of his shirt openly reveal his perfectly sculpted chest. “Because I’m big, and I’m pretty good with all three.”

Jesus Christ. He just came out and said it, didn’t he?

You blink a few times to properly register his words, a newfound heat brewing in your belly as you try your best to form a coherent thought. “A little cocky, aren’t we?” You manage to tease, your body picking up on his signals before your brain has the time to talk yourself out of it.

“More than a little.” He bites his lip and touches your knee with his fingertips, his thumb sliding swiftly beneath it. He grins as you try to stifle a gasp, the sudden act of intimacy shocking your touch-starved skin to the core as he gently encases your knee with his palm. He watches intently as you allow him to touch you, silently granting him permission to continue onward as you spread your legs even further apart.

“You don’t think women have lied to spare your feelings just because you’re hot?” You swallow hard and try to focus on the conversation as his hand ventures even further up your thigh, taking his time to close the gap between you.

“You think I’m hot?” He pushes the pads of his fingers toward your center, pressing them into your muscles as his thumb tickles the fine hair on the underside of your thigh.

“Maybe,” you whisper, just now noticing the rings of olive green that surround his pupils.

“Maybe?” He smiles, squeezing the bulk of your thigh as his thumb reaches the hem of your swimsuit. “I’m gonna need you to tell me the truth.” His tone shifts from playful to stern in a matter of seconds, tightening the muscles in your abdomen as he smooths his hand up your pelvis. “You think you can do that for me?” He brushes his thumb underneath the polyester just long enough to skim over your sensitive area.

“Uh huh,” you nod.

“I don’t want you to lie to me like all the other guys you’ve fucked.” He finds the tie on the side of your bikini bottom, pulling on the string that holds it together.

“Okay,” you start, trying your best not to hold your breath as his fingers warm your skin. “I definitely think you’re hot.”

“That’s good.” He unfastens the bow on your hip, his other hand pushing a strand of hair behind your ear as the back of your swimsuit falls onto the seat of your chair. “I think you’re hot, too.” He moves his hand across your hips to the opposite bow, unfastening it in nearly half the time. “Now if only there was a way we could solve both of our problems.”

“If only,” you whisper. You look down and watch him pull the unfastened swimwear off your body, instinctively scooting to the edge of your seat as his skilled fingers find themselves between your folds before you even have a chance to ask.

“Can you be honest?” He curls a finger under your chin and forces you to look up at him, spreading your other lips apart before teasing your clit with his index finger.

“Yes,” you nod your head as he deepens his touch, rubbing it up and down as your moisture begins to collect beneath it.

“Promise me you won’t fake it?” He looks down at his hand for a split second as he sends tiny little pulses of pleasure into your skin, smirking as your breath stills in your chest.

“I promise.” You can barely speak, his intense eye contact and skilled fingers quickly proving your theory wrong as each upward motion intensifies the bliss shooting up into your core.

“I don’t want you to worry about hurting my feelings.” He moves his fingers down the length of your folds, gliding them easily inside your walls as he cradles the back of your head, his lips merely inches from yours. “I can take it.”

“Okay,” you moan into the space between you, grasping onto the loose denim of his shirt as he pushes his digits in even deeper, his knuckles now flush against your skin.

“Tell me what you want.” He reiterates, curling his fingers up and toward him, pressing against that bundle of nerves in order to pull you in closer like a fish on a hook. The legs of your chair screech across the tile floor, almost deafening the both of you as he draws you near, your entire body taking the bait as he repeats the motion over again. “Tell me.”

“I need you to touch me here.” You reach your hand down and grab his thumb, lifting it up and placing it on your clit.

He smiles at your instruction, doing as he’s told before finally leaning in to close the gap between your lips. That stale, faint flavor of beer mixes in with the sea salt still on his skin as you breathe him in, savoring his lips and tongue as they explore your mouth with more fervor than any other lover you could bother to remember. That moan of yours turns into a needy whine as he presses on that special spot from both ends, massaging you from the inside out as his thumb sends signals of immeasurable ecstasy up through your spine and into your brain.

He kisses his way down your lips and chin, his beard scratching your jawline as he moans in return against you, reacting to your silky walls clenching down around his fingers. His mouth leaves a trail of fire down your neck and shoulders, his tongue and lips marking nearly every inch of your chest and stomach with his saliva until he pushes his own chair backward while getting onto his knees.

Instead of pulling his fingers out of you, he keeps his steady rhythm going inside your slick. He looks up at you with intermittent glances of salacious pride as he presses his lips against your inner thighs, sucking scattered bruises into both of them as you softly moan his name. “I don’t want you to say my name again until you come, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod, running your hands through his hair as he lifts your leg over his shoulder before diving in completely.

Every bold claim he's made up until now proves to be more than true as he licks a tantalizing stripe up each side of your dripping wet length. He slows his fingers’ pace inside of you, removing his thumb from that special spot only to quickly replace it with his hungry mouth. You try not to sigh too loudly as he laps you up, those eyes of his glancing up from time to time through strands of hair that fall in front of his face as his tongue flicks up and down in a delicately delicious pattern. A mixture of short and long strokes sends signals of euphoria throughout your body, like dots and dashes on the telegraph sending a complete and layered message into your brain until it reaches every inch of your fingers and toes, curling them in on themselves in sheer delight.

You grab a fistful of his hair as you feel yourself shudder, locking onto his eyes as he doubles down, tasting every bit of your flesh as your inner walls clamp down around his knuckles like a vice. You tug on his scalp, holding his head in place as you ride out your orgasm with his name on your lips, gyrating your hips against the tip of his nose as he continues to devour you like a starved man who hasn’t eaten in days.

“Ari!” You finally cry out as the pleasure nearly encompasses you entirely, wreaking so much havoc on your nerves and skin that you’re unsure if you can physically tolerate any more of it. Without thinking, you lift your leg up even further as he refuses to relent, planting it on his shoulder before kicking him off of you and onto the floor.

“How am I doing so far?” He laughs, smirking as he lands backward onto his elbows, the light reflecting off of the clear coat of your arousal on his lips and beard.

“Jesus,” you start, unable to stop your body from shivering in the aftershock as he looks at you like that. “I mean… good, you’re doing good.”

“You’re not lying, are you?” He stands up from his spot on the floor and runs a hand through his hair, his erection more than prominent in his jeans as he approaches you.

Good god, you almost forgot about that part.

“No,” you admit, catching your breath as your muscles continue to shake. “Not after that.”

“I believe you.” He takes your hand and helps you up onto your wobbly feet, walking with you almost as if the two of you are dancing before picking you up and setting you down onto the dinner table in one fluid motion. Your weight pulls against the tablecloth, clinking the dishes together before Ari pushes them out of the way to make room for what he’s about to do.

You can’t help but keep your legs spread apart as he steps in between them, your palm finding its way down his chest and over his clothed cock before unfastening his jeans to finally reveal what’s underneath. “Holy shit.” Your mouth falls open as his dick springs up from the denim you pull down around his thighs, its length and girth more than matching the level of confidence he always seems to have.

“I told you.” He raises his eyebrows before leaning down to kiss your lips again, the tangy flavor of your cunt spreading to each and every one of your taste buds as he brushes his tongue against yours. You savor your own personal zest until you feel him smile and pull away, looking down and spitting on his palm to stroke himself. He grins as you watch him work on himself, cupping his head a few times before noticing your jaw dropping on the floor. “Don’t worry, baby, we’ll make it fit.”

You laugh in utter disbelief as he lines himself up with your opening, gliding the head of his cock over your clit a few more times just to watch you squirm as a deep, guttural moan brews in his chest. He finally decides to push himself in, that moan leaving his lips in little more than a whisper as he begins to fill you up, stretching your velvety walls to capacity. His breath hitches as he disappears between your folds, guiding himself in deeper with more ease than you thought was humanly possible before he eventually bottoms out.

You whine as he holds himself there for a minute, glancing up at you to make sure you’re okay before taking his time to pull out and thrust back into you, giving your muscles room to adjust before he starts chasing his own pleasure. He lets go of himself as he rocks into you, cradling the back of your head as the wooden table beneath you creaks louder with each consecutive movement of his hips. He keeps his other hand on your hip, holding you in place as he drills himself into you, breathing heavily into your kiss as trails of sweat drip down his chest, soaking little droplets onto the fabric of his shirt.

He growls against your lips as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in as close as possible as he feeds your body with a visceral pleasure you weren’t entirely sure existed until now. Keening against him as he continues to fill you up, your overstimulated flesh tightens around him in a rapturous wave that seems to flood your senses even more than it had before. You can feel it rush its way through you, seizing every muscle in your entire body as it squeezes the release right out of him, forcing him to twitch and spasm into your blissful heat. He grunts with his last push inside of you, grabbing onto your ass to get as deep as he can, the tip of his cock hitting your cervix as he coats your inner walls with his orgasm.

He kisses your lips and forehead as he sputters inside of you, keeping himself between your legs as he memorizes how good the sensation of your muscles feels around him before slowly pulling out. “Did I…,” he runs a hand through your hair as he catches his breath, all the blood rushing up to his lips and cheeks. “Did I change your mind?”

“Yeah,” you manage to whisper, continuing to hold him close. “Yeah, you did.”

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆

part 1 of 💔broken family💔

summary - you had woken from a nightmare, one that was reality, only to live through more hell as your son slowly stops loving you.

warning - angst, swearing, cheating assumptions, divorce, self-doubt, breakdowns, misery.

the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 2

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

“Wait… Wait.” You hurriedly get out, struggling to understand the words that just left your husband’s mouth. Trying to process what was happening, you thought everything was good, you thought everything was okay. But apparently, on Ari’s side, nothing was okay. “What do you mean you want a divorce? What about Jason?” You blink, stunned, as you stare at the man you were desperately in love with. “Ari, answer me!” You beg and plead, needing to know why he suddenly woke up and wanted to leave.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/n. Just sign the fucking divorce papers. I don’t love you anymore. Don’t you get that? And you’ll drop Jason off at my new place.” He growls, chucking the papers and a pen at you and standing over you with his arms crossed over his chest. “Hurry up! I have to go to work, and I don’t want to deal with this when I get home.” You nod slowly, feeling your heart crack and shatter as you sign your name on the paper. You hold back the tears that threaten to fall, not wanting to anger him any more. 

You wake with a choked sob and gasp. You looked around and were hit with the hard truth that the nightmare wasn’t just a nightmare. It was your reality. You sit against the headboard, pressing your hand into your mouth as sobs fall from your lips, the tears flow, and you can’t stop them. You must stay quiet so you don’t wake your son, which becomes more challenging as the memories keep flowing, and your heart shatters. You don’t know where it all went wrong. You thought everything between the two of you was going well. Why didn’t you see the signs? Had Ari always disliked you? Did he not love you to begin with? How could you not see it? You were so sure it was the perfect fairytale you had wished for. As the tears dried, you slowly laid back down and drifted back to sleep, and the nightmare kept repeating the whole night.

You had woken just as the sun had started rising, groggily heading to the bathroom and freshening up before heading to your closet and changing into a pair of jeans and a plain shirt. What was the point of looking good anymore? It’s not like anyone loved you. You head down to the kitchen, preparing breakfast for your son. You poured some coffee into a mug that Jason made for you with Ari, causing tears to brim as more memories flash before your eyes. You accidentally slam the cup down onto the kitchen counter, causing some of the liquid inside to splash out, and you stumble into the table, taking a few deep breaths as you desperately try to hold your sobs back. It had been months now since Ari left you out of the blue, and you still hadn’t gotten over it, not being able to move on, not being able to get a peaceful rest, and every time you had dropped your son off to his place, he had glared at you and spoke hurtful words.

You clear your throat, quickly heading up to Jason’s room and gently waking him. “Hey, baby. Breakfast is ready.” And just like his father, he ignores you. How could a four-year-old even ignore you like a grown man could? And why did it hurt a lot more? But you can’t show him that it hurts. You just help him up, changing him before helping him down to the kitchen, ignoring how he’d slightly push your hands away, babbling about how he’s a big boy and could do it himself.

“Mumma, when I see daddy again?” You stare at him as you begin to feed him. You won’t say Ari was a horrible father because he was probably the best father out there. But what did he have that you didn’t? Your son had only returned home a day ago, and Jason already wanted to go back. He didn’t seem to care to spend time with you… It was different when you and Ari were still married. Your son had been a mumma’s boy, he had clung to you, wanting to spend time with you, admired you, and now it’s as though you were a nuisance, someone blocking him from his father. “Mumma?” He huffs, pouting at you, as you blink at him.

“Uh, soon, baby. On the weekend.” You try and smile, clearing your throat before placing the spoon in front of his mouth and letting him eat the food off of it. You can see him become upset by your words, not liking the answer you gave him. “Don’t worry, baby. You’ll see him again. It’s not that long.” You try to reassure him, stroking his hair back, but feel your heart clench as he shifts away from you. You hide your hurt, blinking back the tears. “C’mon, eat up. You have kindy today.” As he finishes his breakfast, you ensure he’s brushed his teeth and grabbed his bag and shoes. You drive him to kindy, dropping him off, feeling a lump in your throat as he runs out of the car before you can even walk with him. You knew it was you because you had heard that your son wanted his father to walk him up but couldn’t because you were no longer together. Of course, he couldn’t say all that, but you got the gist. You drove to work, not caring that you didn’t look as presentable as you used to be when you were married, but you felt drained. You didn’t care how you looked anymore. If Ari stopped loving you when you looked your best, then why should you continue? It wasn’t like he’ll suddenly wake up and regret leaving you.

Your day consisted of pitiful looks, rumours, and people coming up to you asking if you were okay. Of course, you weren’t okay. You don’t think you’ll ever be okay. You had lost the love of your life and didn’t even know why. Did he find someone else? Was it someone younger, prettier? Was that why you guys stopped being intimate for so long? Should you have seen the signs long before the divorce? You blanked out during work, thinking it over, wondering if you ever smelt a perfume that wasn’t yours or if Ari had come home late, he had any lipstick on his collar. But you couldn’t remember. You had been brought out of your daze when your boss came over and tapped you on the shoulder, smiling at you softly as she whispered for you to go home and get some rest. 

You had driven home, sighing as you parked your car, and entered your home, dropping down onto the couch as you felt the house's silence, no longer filled with laughter, happiness, or love. No wonder your son didn’t want to stay here anymore. Your husband had succeeded. Whatever sick game he was playing, he had won. He had managed to take every bit of happiness from your life. You had your son physically but not mentally or emotionally. 

You hoped it would all get better…

At least you still had your hope… Right?

You thought you at least deserved a better goodbye.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[astr0-physcs]

Jesus Christ that Reiner and Jean fix was so good, could you write for a female Reader too? Thanks!!!

yes!! i'm so glad you liked it <3

mission(ary)

-Reiner Braun x Jean Kirschstien x f!Reader

-WC: 5k

-Warnings!:

Threesome, nipple play, oral, (F and M receiving) unprotected sex, praise, degradation

-A/N!

vvv happy that ppl want both versions! Thank you nonnie <3

The sun rose over the horizon bathing the cadets in a golden glow. Every morning started this way, all the cadets lined up, waiting for their orders. Captain Levi stood before them, the rising sun to his back. You stood next to Sasha, you both were standing shoulders back, fist over heart, eyes forward towards the Captain. Finally he broke the silence that had fallen over the group.

"Marco, you are heading into the Trost district with Sasha to make a supply run. There is a shipment under Commander Erwin's name”

The cadets gave a quick nod, not moving from their place in line.

“Alright. Mikasa, you will look after the horses.” One more quick nod.

“Annie, Bertolt, and Armin. Refill the gas chambers for ODM equipment.” Everyone nods in agreement.

"Eren." A beat of silence.

"Yes, Captain?" he responded, shifting slightly.

“Cleaning duty.”

A look of pain appeared on Eren's face. Nevertheless he agreed. A few people in the group snickered.

Caption Levi went on to the next assignment.

"Y/N, Jean, Reiner, Ewrin’s office. Special task for you.”

You swallow, uneasy. Typically, such missions required venturing outside the walls. The Captain moves on when you give him a nod. The recruits scatter when the Caption allows them to.

Reiner and Jean move from the other side of the line to you. A shadow fell over you from the two big men. Together you and the other two men walked to Ewrin’s office in pending silence.

You take the initiative to knock on the door and Erwin's calls for you to enter.

"Cadets," he utters from his desk. You approach his desk with Jean and Reiner on your tail.

"Take a seat." He gestures toward the chairs in front of his desk. With some hesitation, you take a seat, followed by the other two soldiers.

"You have been given a scouting assignment by Captain Levi and myself." Ewrin said, laying a roughly drawn map out on his orderly desk.

"You will leave at noon and end up here in the forest,” Erwin said, pointing to a marked spot on the map. “ Then you will need to be back here by noon tomorrow. You will then take note of where the nearest titan is. Also, you will need to get your supplies from the cadets who are in charge of the ODM gear.”

You give a respectful nod.

“I wish you cadets luck.” Ewrin said, getting to his feet and giving the cadets the salute.

The three of you quickly rise to your feet and return his salute.

Together, you exclaim, "Thank you, Commander, Sir!"

Silently, the three of you leave his office and head towards the gear room. You didn't know Jean and Reiner as well as you wanted to, and they were uncomfortable with each other. To put it mildly, it was awkward. The entrance to the gear room was opened by the three of you.

"Hey-"

"Armin, my friend!" Jean said, walking confidently towards the blonde.

Startled, Armin looked up, and dropped the gas canister he was holding. The sound of the metal hitting the hardwood floor echo off the stone walls. The room had been a dining room and was quite big. A large wood table and many wooden chairs that matched the dark oak of the table were set aside in the corner to make room for the gear supplies. A large chandelier hung from the middle of the ceiling. This was still the only other source of light for the room, although it was covered in spiderwebs. Levi hasn't found it yet. Now the room was filled with ODM gear and shelves of grappling hook holsters. Armin recovered quickly, and picked up the runaway gas can.

“Armin, stop dropping stuff.” Said Annie from the other side of the room, where she was inserting some ODM. Armin nervously laughed and placed the gas into the gear. You and Reiner stepped into the room.

“Hi, Armin.” You say joining Jean in front of the small blonde man, sitting on the ground. He smiles back at you.

“Hey. What are you doing here? I thought you were talking to Commander Erwin?”

You nod. “Yeah, we were-”

“Yeah we did. Told us to go scouting.” Jean interrupted, rolling his eyes. “We need ODM gear.”

You glare at Jean, before turning back to Armin and saying “Can we please get ODM gear?”

"Oh, yes, definitely. Let me get you set up.” He looked anxiously at Annie and Bertolt, who were talking with Reiner.

"H-Hey Annie,can you help me get them ready?” He asked, getting to his feet.

Annie nodded once in agreement before walking over to the back to fetch the gear suits. Bertolt followed after a brief conversation with Reiner, and the blond returned to you and Jean.

"Thank you Armin." You called after him. Annie and Bertholdt return with three sets of suits and give one to each of you. You slide on the leather and tighten the straps until the outfit fits tightly around your waist. Annie and Armin grab the gas canisters, while Bertolt takes the grappling hook holders.

They move around you three, attaching the hefty metal to your waistbands. "Alright. You are all set. Good luck." Armin offers you a tentative smile. You give him a kind smile back. Jean taps your shoulder and you guys exit the building.

Mikasa stood outside with three horses, well equipped for the journey. You walk up to your horse, her name is Hope. She was a deep brown horse with a long black mane. Mikasa had gotten the saddles on all the horses and packed the bags on the side with food, water, tents, and other survival gear. You did a quick check of everything to make sure nothing was missing. The other two did the same checks as Mikasa watched on.

"Thank you." Reiner spoke, once he had checked everything and patted his house a bit. Mikasa nodded and reached up for her scarf. You turn to pet the horse, and Levi approaches you.

“I believe Erwin has already informed you, but you three are going to go to the border outside the walls and mark the location of the nearest titan. You are to return by noon tomorrow. Understood?”

The three of you saluted to Levi. “Yes Captain!”

He nods in acknowledgment. “Good luck cadets.” The Captain turns away and you relax your stance. Hopping up into the horse's saddle, you pet the horse and turn around to secure your equipment. Mikasa stood nearby, hand in her scarf. Jean turned around and said goodbye, and you and Reiner waved. Whipping the reins of the horse, you turn around and follow Jean to the exit of camp.

The ride to Wall Maria wasn't unbearable. You and Jean made some commentary, with quick inputs from Reiner.

“Okay, now that we're outside the safety of camp, everyone needs to keep an eye out for titans. We can't let our guard down.” Jean says

Reiner sighs. “ Jean, we get it. You don't need to remind us about the titans.”

You giggle and roll your eyes playfully. “Seriously, it's like you're trying to scare us”

Jean huffs. “Just tryna make sure everyone is alert, that's all.”

“Says the guy who can't keep his eyes off somebody's body for five minutes…” You mumble, smirking slightly. Jean whips his head around at you. “The fuck you'd just say to me?”

“Guys please. Can we just stick to the job-?” Reiner sighs.

“At least when I speak, I have important things to say. You just yap yap yap.” Jean shoots back.

You shake your head. “Jean, you're making this worse by arguing.”

“You're the one who started it!”

You hide the smirk threatening to appear. “Hey, I'm just saying what we're all thinking here.”

Reiner now turns to the two of you. “Can we not take things personally and focus on the mission here?”

“And why don't you mind your business? Not your fight here, pal.” Jean glares at Reiner, who side eyes him back.

“Jean, calm down. You're acting dumb right now.”

“I'm perfectly calm!” Jean shouts not so calmly.

You giggle. “Yeah keep telling yourself that, tough guy…”

Jean opened his mouth to speak, but in that moment, Reiners horse reared up, clearly spooked. Reiner yelped and slid off the horse and onto the ground. The horse bolted and Reiner groaned, shaking the mud off of his uniform.

Jean lets out a snort and the two of you burst into laughter, doubling over at the sight.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up you two…” Reiner grumbled, but a small smile appeared on his face. He wipes off the mud that got onto his clothes, and sighs.

“Let's go get your horse.” You say, still laughing.

The poor horse was off near one of the damaged houses, munching on grass. You and Jean grin as Reiner goes and tries to calm the horse. You notice how softly he pets the horse's nose and sighs softly. The animal nudges the blonde's hand a little and his smile returns softly.

Once Reiner hops back onto the horse again, the rest of the traveling was smooth sailing. Jean made quips at you, you argued back and Reiner tried to mediate, but gave up about halfway through.

The sky turned a milky orange hue with few clouds by the time the three of you made it to the designated camp site. You lead your horse to the nearby forest, with a small stream nearby for the animals to drink from. The cover of the forest protected you from being seen by the massive Titans. Reiner grabs the tent from his horse and lays it out on the forest floor.

“Alright. Who wants to help put up the tent and who wants to search for wood?” Reiner asks, standing up from where he was kneeling next to the tent.

“I'll go! I'm a very good wood finder.” Jean said confidently, hands on his hips.

“I'm sure you are…” You snickered. Jean glared at you.

“Ha ha, very funny.”

Your smirk widened. Glancing over to Reiner, your smile turns from devilish to slightly confused. Reiner appeared also confused, his dark hazel eyes flickering between the two of you.

“Reiner?”

“I don't get it.” He says bluntly. Jean grins wide.

“Looks like you're up!” He says, harshly patting your shoulder. His touch lingered a little too long, but it's not like you noticed, too busy being flushed with embarrassment at explaining the joke.

“S-so. Um. Y’know how sometimes people refer to… to dick-”

“Stop. I am sick of dick jokes.” Reiner held up his hand, his face twisting into annoyance and disgust. “You two have made so many dick jokes I wonder if your own dicks are a joke.”

You and Jean furrowed your eyebrows. “Hey!” you spoke simultaneously, then glared at each other.

“I bet you're right about Jean. I mean, the taller the man, the smaller the dick.”

Jean looked appalled. “Where in the world did you learn that?”

“A textbook,” you shrugged. “Maybe you would know that information if you decided to give reading a try.”

“Oh, you little-” Jean started forward, but Reiner braced an arm against his chest.

“ Jean, you're making yourself look stupid again. Go get firewood before it gets dark and you trip over yourself.”

Jean rolls his eyes dramatically. “Oh, for fucks sake…” He mutters. You impishly grin and he flips you off.

“Jean.” Reiner says. Jean groans and trudges off into the forest. You giggle and turn back to Reiner.

“Alright, you get to help me put up this tent.” He kneels down next to the camouflage tent. You lean down next to him and he hands you part of the tent, spreading the tent on the clearing. Reiner grabs metal stakes and poles, setting up the tent with ease and practice. You smile at him warmly, but miss the way his ears go red.

The sun began to dip into the mountains, casting a deep sienna color across the forest. Clouds turn a watery hue of pink and red, the forest beginning to cool down. Jean came back with wood, and set them down unceremoniously. He grinned at you and Reiner, placing his hands on his hips.

"Wood!" he exclaims. You nod.

"Very good observation, Jean." You say as if you were talking to a toddler.

He drops his hands and glares at you.

"Hey, set up the fire, why don't you?" Reiner interrupts, preventing Jean from opening his mouth to argue. Jean scoffs, so you stick your tongue out at him. You walk over to your horse and grab your knife and matches. Walking back to the small fire ring you had already created while Jean was getting firewood, you kneeled down and slipped the wood using your knife, then gathered the small slithers into a teepee shape. Looking around the fire ring, you found pine needles and dead leaves, the perfect heat starter. You grab as many as you can and place them inside your little wood teepee.

You strike a match and place it inside the teepee and watch as the dead pine needles and leaves go up in flames and burn quickly. As the wood you placed began to burn you added more until you had a good sized fire.

You squat down next to the fire and wrap your arms around your knees.

“What time do you think we should get up to mark the titans location?” Jean asks behind you. You don't turn, enjoying the warmth of the fire against your skin.

“Dawn. The cloud coverage will be good for us.” Reiner answers. The blond comes into your vision and sits next to you. “Nice fire you've made.”

You smile. “Thanks, Reiner.” He smiles back at you.

“Hey, I got that wood, yknow!” Jean marches in front of you, fists clenched by his sides. You glance up with a smirk.

“Yeah sure, but who lit the match and cut the branches after you oh so graciously dumped them here?” Jeans mouth opened like a fish out of water. He glanced around, trying to think of something else to say.

“W-Well… That, that may be true, but…” the brunette stammers. You raise your eyebrows. “But..? But what, Jean?”

Jean narrows his eyes, still trying to counter you. Finally, he shuts his eyes and sits down, irritated. You giggle softly, and Reiner smiles softly.

“Let's get dinner ready.” Reiner stood up and grabbed some prepackaged food from his bag. He tossed Jean a package, while gently handing yours to your outstretched hands. He then hands you a pot to boil the water. Once the water gets to a boil, you tear open the food and pour the hot water in, then you pour the water into the other boys packs too. Once it cooks and cools you enjoy the chicken and rice.

Finished with your meal, you hum happily. “Not bad for a prepackaged meal!”

Jean hums next to you, and you glance over. His eyes sparkle, the orange firelight dancing in his irises. He was looking at you like you were the only moment that mattered right now. Questions bubbled up in your chest, and you opened your mouth to speak. Reiner coughed, and you weren't sure it was coincidental. You catch his eye, and shut your mouth in shock. Reiners icy gaze was narrowed sharply. You shift your confused gaze back to Jean, who was still looking at you gently, orange firelight flickering in his eyes. He seemed to catch on to the tension Reiner was causing, but remained silent. The only sound that was emanating was the flickering of fire and the snapping of heated wood.

Reiner finally spoke, his voice thick and intense. “Did you want to say something?”

You reeled back, slightly stunned at his tone. Blinking, you shake your head no. His gaze doesn't shift, and you feel like a deer caught in headlights. After a heartbeat, Reiner slowly looks away from you. Your heart beat in your chest and you take a deep breath. Turning back to Jean, you notice that the brunette’s eyes haven't moved off of your face. Your cheeks heat up softly and you clear your throat.

“We should get ready for bed.” Reiner spoke again, spooking you. You look at him again, expecting a cold sharp gaze again. His blue eyes were softer than before, but he held your gaze with the same intensity.

“Yeah, yeah. You're right.” You say, standing up and brushing off the crumbs on your lap. Jean stands too, his focus still on you. Reiner watches you as you move around the fire, cleaning up after yourself. Then you put out the fire, making sure every spark was out. You move to your horses, who are sitting softly on the grass. You grab the sleeping bag that Mikasa provided and turn to Jean. “Where do you wanna sleep?”

“You're sleeping in the middle.” Reiners gruff voice called. You turn around, looking at him.

“Me or Jean?”

“You.” He said bluntly, his gaze focused on the supplies on his horse. You blink.

“That works for me.” Jean says calmly. You turn back to him. “Oh, alright. I'll go set up.” You walk to the tent and kneel down, entering inside. You roll out your bag and unzip it, waiting for Jean and Reiner. The blonde opens the tent and enters, making prolonged eye contact with you. You swallow nervously and glance away. Jean follows suit, entering the tent and smiling at you. The blonde rolls out his bag on your right, while Jean sets his things down on your left.

You begin unpacking your things, and notice both male gaze as you do so. Blush runs to your cheeks, but you don't look at either of them.

You set everything you needed to out for the night, and glance silently at your comrade. His gaze had fallen to the floor, the soft pink dusting his cheeks making him appear more genuine than before, when you two were arguing. He opens his mouth and closes it, like he was gathering the courage to say something.

“Good night.” Was the words that came out of his mouth. You smile softly. “Night Jean.” Turning to Reiner you repeat yourself. “Night, Reiner.”

Good night, Y/N.” he mumbled, his back already facing you. You lay down in your bag, not bothering to zip it up all the way on either side. Your eyes turned up to the tent ceiling. The heat of the dying fire radiated into the tent, and your heartbeat slowed.

You hear Jean turning around next to you, and you're suddenly aware of how cramped this tent actually is. His leg kicks out gently from the bag and sneaks into yours. You brush it off as an accident, dismissing the electric feeling that sparked through your body.

But then you felt his chest against your back. Your eyes shoot open. Gently, you try to shove him off and back into his own bag, but his calloused hands wrap around your waist.

“Jean…?” You whisper. Jean doesn't make a sound, instead pulling you closer. His breath was warm against your neck, and you shudder softly. His body curves against yours, cradling you with no escape.

“Jean-” You whisper again, but his thumb presses against your pink lips, silently shushing you. Your mind reels at how close he is, and how hot his fingertips seem to be. His other hand begins roaming down your body, slipping up your shirt and gently caressing your abdomen.

Finally, Jean speaks. His voice is rough and thick with lust.

“Tell me to stop, baby.”

Your cheeks heat up. Your body was reacting to the brunette’s wandering hands, shuddering and relaxing in his heat. You let your eyes shut, losing yourself in his hold. His hand on your abdomen reached higher and higher, until the pad of his finger was circling your nipple. A small, barely audible wine leaves your throat and Jean smirks against your nape. The hand on your lips slowly snuck down to your neck, holding you possessively. You whine again, and Jean pinches your nipple. You gasp and arch slightly, your ass pressing into his pelvis. He groans and nips your skin softly. Suddenly, he raises your tan shirt up to your collarbones, exposing your perky tits to the night air. You gasp again, slightly louder this time. Jeans' strong hand coaxes your neck to fall onto his shoulder, pressing your back into a perfect arch. You bite your lip and Jean begins groping your tit. Another noise, a whine, escapes your mouth. Jean pressed his mouth against your neck, sucking. Your body writhes, your dick slowly getting harder.

“Jean…” You choked out a whisper.

“Yes, baby?” He spoke slowly in return.

Abruptly, Reiner turned over to you, hazel eyes sharp.

“Could you keep-” His voice stops short at the sight of you, back pressed into an arch and chest exposed. “What…?” His voice lost its irritated edge, softening at the erotic scene laid out before him.

Embarrassment floods your body, your face turning red. You try to curl out of the arch Jean has you pressed in, but a solid bite on your neck makes you stop.

“Fuck…!” You squeak out, hands trying to cover your body. Jean takes his fingers off your boob and smacks your hand away.

“Jean, wait…” You plead softly.

“I think somebody likes the show. You wanna show off for him?” He murmurs in your ear.

He lets you tilt your head enough to look at Reiner. The blonde was watching intently, mouth slightly agape. His blue eyes were hazed over slightly, and his cheeks were flushed pink. You suddenly felt very self conscious about your chest being exposed, but Jean pulled you back into the arch he had you in. His fingers ghost over your nipple again, before tugging harshly. You squeal, your hips rutting softly against nothing.

“You want a taste?” Jean asked, loudly enough for Reiner to hear. Jean twists your neck softly and presses a kiss to your lips. He breaks away, then slots his mouth between yours. His tongue wrapped around yours, and he bites your lip, tugging it before pulling away.

Reiner shifts again, not knowing what to do with his body. Jean slides his mouth down your neck again, lightly biting and kissing your heated skin.

“Can I…?” Reiner said softly, his breath bated. Jean releases your neck so you can look at him with half lidded eyes. You nod, biting your lip. “Y-yea…” You moan again and Jean tugs your nipple again. Reiner breathes out softly and moves a hand tentatively to your other tit. He pinches it softly and you whine.

“Do…do you like that?” Reiner breathes.

You open your mouth to respond, but it ends up as a high pitched moan. Jean tugged on your tit harshly.

“Course she does. I mean, just listen to the way she moans.” He says, holding your nipple out for a minute before relaxing it. “Give it a try.”

Reiner swallows, fingers still resting on your chest. He gives a tug, and your hips jerk in the air. Breathy moans escape you, no longer trying to stay quiet. Reiner shifts his body closer, and leans down. He looks up at you, carnal desire threatening to take over. He presses his mouth to your tit and bites gently. An erotic whine erupts from your mouth, and your hips jerk. Everything was so hot, you could barely stand it. Your hand goes out to palm Jean through his pants and he groans quietly.

“Want these off, baby?” He whispers into your neck.

“Yes, fuck-! Y-yes, please…” You whine. Jean snickers.

“Such a good girl. How could I possibly refuse?” Jean’s hand on your chest slid down to his pants, undoing the zipper and sliding them down.

You could feel every movement, his body pressed right against you.

“You too, pretty girl.” He whispered. Reiner moved his hand to the boob Jean had abandoned, and gave it a harsher squeeze. You moan again and whine and the blonde’s tongue swirled around the sensitive tit.

Jean slid his hand down your pants, undoing the zipper and sliding off the restraining material. Your body shudders, now being nearly completely exposed to the night air. Your thighs shuddered, pussy dripping slick. Reiner suddenly left your chest and slid up to you.

“Sit up.” He said bluntly. Jean let go of your body so you could slide out of the sleeping bag. You gave Reiner a hazy quizzical look, but your confusion disappeared when he sat up too, grabbed your waist, and spun you around, back to his chest. Reiner pulled your shirt over your arms and head, then pressed you against his body. His hands go back to tugging your chest and you throw your head back, unable to silence your moans.

Jean smirks and places himself in between your legs.

“Open up, baby.” He said, then gently spread your legs apart.

Your pussy made a slick sound as Jean pried your folds open.

“Damn, fuckin’ gorgeous clit youve got.” Jean whistled lowly.

“Th- Thank- ah-! Thank you…!” You spoke in between whines. Jean pushed in a slender finger, pumping in and out, eliciting a pornographic moan from you. Your hips stuttered, trying desperately to fuck yourself in Jean’s hand.

Reiner leaned down to your ear.

“Desperate, are we? Such a slut…” He muttered. His words went straight to your clit, and your body jerked. Jean pressed the flat of his tongue against the bundle of nerves and a string of whines fell from your lips. You nearly arched off on Reiner as Jean pressed his tongue inside your clenching hole. Your clit pulsed hotly against Jean’s nose, meeting your lust filled eyes.

“W-wait, gonna-” You try to warn, before Jean sucks harshly at the same time Reiner pinches your nipples. Hot cum exploded in the brunette's mouth, and you nearly screamed. Jean swallowed and smirked, before rising up to make out with you.

“Taste yourself.” He said before sliding his mouth against yours. Bitter cum flooded your taste buds, but you were too fucked to care. Jean broke away and gently pried your body off on Reiner.

“Ass up, slutty.” Jean said with a smile. His hand presses you into a perfect arch, your tight holes displayed for Reiner.

“Shake your ass.” Jean said again, and you wiggle your ass gently. Reiner smacked it hard, and you jolted forward with the force. Jean pressed his cock to your lips, smirking. “Be a good girl and return the favor, hm?”

You open your mouth, letting your tongue roll out. Reiner pressed his precum slicked cock against your pussy lips and you whined. He shoves himself in, and you fall onto Jean with a breathy whine. You could nearly feel the blonde in your throat, if it weren't for the actual dick reaching your esophagus. Your eyes roll back as the pleasure, your hole gushing again.

“Gooood fuckin’ girl. Tight hole you've got.” Reiner groans.

Jean’s wolfish grin returns again. “You a virgin, honey?”

You nod softly, tears falling down your cheeks as you gag on Jean. He barks a laugh and thrusts down your throat. You choke and gag, spit running down your chin. Reiner grabs your hips and begins pistoning into you.

“Fuck, fuck fuck…” The blonde muttered as he hammered into your G-spot repeatedly. Jean leans back, the force of Reiner’s thrusts enough to move you on his dick. You nearly lose yourself in the pleasure, feeling their dicks twitch with each thrust and gag. Your pussy spurts all over again, your hole clenching around Reiner.

Jean coos at you.

“Doing such a good job. ‘I'm gonna cum down your throat, alright?” You don't hear him, the sound of Reiner behind you too loud and graphic.

“Fuck, close, baby. Lemme cum inside, okay?” Reiner says, and slaps you on the ass again when you don't respond. You jolt forward and whine hoarsely in agreement. Reiner twitches once, twice, before he buries himself to the hilt inside you. He pressed you to the base of Jean, who threw his head back and moaned as he came in your mouth. You suck him clean as he stares at you, panting hard.

Jean grabs your head and gently pulls you off his dick, smiling at your fucked out expression. Reiner pulls out and wipes his dick on your ass poorly before tucking himself back into his pants. You collapse, exhausted. Jean laughs fondly, and you pass out right there.

The last thing you remember is big hands shifting you back into your sleeping bag, the soft sound of the zipper and two kisses pressed against your forehead.

The next morning you woke to sunlight. You blinked, and immediately jolted out of bed. You thought you had missed your only task, marking down the Titans. You wince as you try to move, your pussy and stomach throbbing. Suddenly, the tent unzipped and Jean poked his head in.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Don't worry, we marked down the Titan’s location.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, nearly plopping down back into your bag.

“Did you get enough beauty sleep?” Jean asks.

“Yeah, no thanks to you two. My whole body hurts. How the fuck am I supposed to ride back to camp?” you complain.

Jean rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Figure it out yourself. I'm not the one who got fucked dumb last night.”

You glare at him. “Yeah cuz you get no hoes. Literally bitchless.”

Jean gasped. “You mother-”

“Good morning, Y/N. I hope you slept alright.” Reiner shoved Jean out of the way, who yelped. You smile. “I did, thank you.” Reiner smiled back.

“Good. We're packing up now. If you need a cushion, I can give you my cape.” Reiner offered, glancing away.

“Kiss ass…” Jean muttered from outside the tent.

[jamneuromain]

ohhoehoe! Dark!priest!Ari goes really well with innocent/naive!reader. Just imagine that his hands//

ALL OF THAT YOU TYPED OMG WE NEED A FIC WITH EXACTLY THAT PLOT (if you're willing) Dark!priest!Ari or Andy or Steve or Lloyd or whichever Chris' character you see more fitting 🥵🥵🥵🔥

oohhhhhh okiee so this is *temporarily* what I have in mind in headcanon (for now) but feel free to chip in

- Not specified which church so you can blend your imagination there -

(honestly I have next to little memory of this reblog lmao)

Favorite

Summary: You confess to Ari about some sinful thoughts you have in the Church.

Warning: Dark!Ari Levinson, Priest!Ari Levinson, innocent!reader, I'M PORTRAYING ARI as a predator priest don't read if YOU ARE HIGHLY RELIGIOUS. (and also the facts about church and priests could be a bit mixed up)

Kids at the church joked that he might be Jesus, for the beard and the long hair looked similar to the ancient painting hanging on the wall.

Indeed, Ari Levinson is kindness and sympathy in a human form, saying that he started truly believing and having faith after a terrible incident that nearly took his life. He isn't from this neighborhood, but that doesn't stop him from being a part of it.

Barbeques at Winston's backyard, the annual fair in Rhinestone Park, the New Year's celebration of the local schools ... you name it, he's in. Whether to chip in from his own thin wallet or to help out pushing and moving things around.

He's a true saint. Everyone says so.

You confessed to him, after a regular Sunday morning, when the sun was blazing outside and this little church he stayed in remained a bit chilly as ever. You told him about the crush you have on one of the handsome boys in the sports team, and you fidget nervously because your parents told you it would be unholy if you had these thoughts of boys at such a young age before actually marrying someone.

He listened through your stupid little confession without any annoyance you'd seen on Father Richmond's (the older priest who actually runs the place) face, telling you in a soft silky voice that everyone sins, and they shall ask for forgiveness.

But, he winked, and whispered to you a little secret: since you are his favorite, he could pray to God later that night, and personally ask for forgiveness.

He led you to the altar and knelt with you, murmuring a string of prayers that you could only shut your eyes tightly and listen to.

You fear that God would be mad and abandon you and your family as a result - which you had told Ari prior, in detail.

"God spoke to me. He asked me to pass forward a blessing." He helped you up from the ground. The sunlight fell onto his velvety robes, creating a warm glow around him, making him look like a true saint, some might even say a miracle.

"Really?" You gasped in excitement. No one, and you mean no one has performed such wonder before, claiming that they could directly talk to God.

"Would I lie to you, darling?" He caressed your jaw fondly, his calloused thumb ran over the patch of delicate skin below your earlobe and you squirmed under his heated gaze.

"No." You whimpered, "What was the blessing, Father Levinson?"

He cradled your head and took your lips into a deep, soul-striking kiss.

"God told me he's fond of you. He has sent me to pass his future blessings on." Ari responded, softly smiling as your doe-y eyes widened in utter shock.

So shocked, in fact, that you forgot about your parents' words. They had told you before that kissing was also on the list of No-No.

"Me...?"

"Yes, darling, you." He mused, dipping his hand into the shallow bronze plate that carried holy water, drawing a mark with the dampened fingers on your forehead, "Now you should be rid of those sinister thoughts. If you have any more trouble, my office is always open for you, darling."

"Thank you, Father Levinson," You squealed, so happy to finally erase the heavy feelings off your mind.

"Anytime, darling." He clamped his hands together, kindly smiling at your happiness, "But keep this between us, will you?" He gestured to the confession and the altar, "It would be quite the fuss if the town knows about the all-loving Lord has a favorite."

[paperweight91]

🔥

My love, the one the only JOHNNY STORM.

Sorry I got so far behind on this the words were there…they just wouldn’t come out!

The Heat of the Moment, Showed in Your Eyes

Pairing: Johnny Storm x reader (Cutter)

Warnings: makeout sesh, discussions of hunting people.

W/C: 751

A/N: the next in our line of teases for We’re All Monsters! I’m kind of in love with these two! Please send me all the feedback! Reblogs and comments are a form of love ❤️

You filed your nails and huffed one more time as you sat in the passenger side of the blacked out SUV. Cole sat beside you rolling his eyes.

“Is there a particular reason why we are sitting in the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere Cutter?” He was squinting as he looked over at you.

“Maybe you should ask less questions, and do more of what you’re told, huh?” Why had Steve made you take Cole? Anyone else would have been better than him.

You checked your watch. He was late…again. Of course those wolves never had any regard for your time, your life. Sure you were undead, but your time was still precious.

Before you could pull your phone out to call and see what was going on, you distantly heard the rev of a sports car. You sighed and went back to filing your nails.

“It’s like he’s trying to draw attention to himself, Jesus.” You mumbled.

Cole stepped out of the SUV and you followed, you couldn’t let him interact with Ari’s crew too much. They would see him as a weakness for Steve. As soon as you stepped out you felt your fangs drop. The scent of fresh blood hung in the air.

Johnny stepped out of the bright red corvette, a smirk on his face and a wink to you.

“Hey Dollface, Ari said you guys would just love these two.” It was then you saw a few other wolves from Ari’s pack that you vaguely recognized pulling two humans from one of their blacked out SUVs.

You recognized them both on sight, and heard Cole give a small whimper. You rolled your eyes and licked your lips. These two hunters had been after Steve - and by proxy you and Cole for years. A few years ago they had almost got Cole.

“You make it sound like you’re doing us a favour Storm.” You glared at Johnny, your hands on your hips.

Johnny simply smiled and motioned for the two other wolves to place the humans in the back of your SUV. “Cutter and I need to sort out what our payment will be. Wait here.” Johnny winked at you and turned to walk towards the tree line nearby.

You glanced at Cole and growled out a “Stay here.” Before following after the hot headed man.

Once you both were out of eyesight and earshot, the air around you both changed. Johnny had you pushed up against the nearest tree, his thigh between yours. You moaned and ground down against him while searching for his mouth.

He tsked and pulled further away. “C’mon now Cutter, you know we actually do have to talk about payment here.”

You rolled your eyes, “how bout I suck you off and we all go our merry ways.”

Johnny huffed, “I’m sure Ari would love to know that.” You smirked and ran your nails down his back just how he liked. “He wants Steve to give him open hunting on the East Coast for this.”

Those words stopped you dead. You knew Steve would never agree to that, not ever, and certainly not for Ari. “So your boss has completely lost his mind.”

Johnny gave you a sad smile, “I don’t know Cutter, I really don’t.”

You twisted your mouth thinking about what Steve’s counter would be. “Steve’s offered payment is an open hunting for the next week, in the Boston area.”

At that Johnny extricated himself from you fully. “We already have open hunting in the Boston area, babe. Ari’s not gonna go for it.”

You shrugged and slipped your knife from your inside pocket. “That’s his offer, take it or leave it.”

You played with the point to distract yourself from Johnny’s gaze. “You gotta be able to sweeten the deal at least a little?”

When you glanced up you saw Johnny giving you his puppy dog eyes. You admired him for a moment, from his barely there hair, to his bright blue eyes, down his slender nose to his plump lips. “Fine, the East Coast for the next week. But only the next week, after that you’re all back to your farm fresh diet.”

Johnny beamed and pulled you into his arms. The two of you stood rocking to a song only you both seemed to know. Johnny kissed the top of your head and murmured an “I love you” into your hair. You sighed and whispered an “I love you too” into his neck.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Watch as Our World Has Begun

Relationship: Jake Jensen x Ari Levinson (bear and cubby, NLLYL AU)

Words: ~2.6k

Summary: Their first time together is life changing.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (m/m sex, anal fingering, lots of foreplay, unprotected anal sex but they both got tested beforehand, size kink, dirty talk), established relationship, first time together, so much fluff, declarations of love, all of the feelings, SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!!

A/N: I LOVE THEM! Oh my god, I’ve missed them so much. I actually wrote this all in one sitting and I hope you guys enjoy seeing our boys again!

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all my fics, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

Jake’s hands were shaking when he finished washing the last dish. He stared at the sink, trying to figure out what to do about the bear who was looming behind him.

Tonight was the night. He’d packed an overnight bag and everything. As soon as Ari said he wanted to make Jake dinner at his penthouse it had been like a clock started ticking down to when he was finally going to have his massive boyfriend inside him. It was about time, too. Five dates and two months later and he was ready to explode.

It helped that you had been there to hype Jake up. In fact, you’d been trying to get him underneath Ari pretty much since you got back from your honeymoon and we’re very annoyed that your efforts hadn’t paid off until now. But you were still there for Jake, you’d even managed to convince him to get waxed. He had never thought he would be the dude to get all of the hair in his taint ripped out, but you managed to convince him to do the weirdest shit. It did feel kind of nice, though.

“Baby.” Ari chuckled when Jake jumped about a foot in the air when he pressed his chest to his back, hushing the man when he made a soft sound of need and kissing his temple. “Do you wanna watch some TV or go get ready for bed?”

“Bed!” Jake blushed when he said it very enthusiastically, grinning sheepishly when Ari turned him around and gave him that gorgeous smile that made him melt. “I mean…”

“Oh, I know what you mean, cubby.” Ari cupped the younger man’s jaw and kissed him softly as he began to walk him back towards the bedroom. “Keep breathing, baby.”

“Whoops.” Jake giggled and blushed even more, moaning when Ari pressed his giant hand against the small of his back until he had to stand on his tiptoes while his man deepened the kiss. “Although, if you’re gonna kiss me like this, my lack of breath is not totally my fault.”

“Ugh, I love when you get sassy.” Ari slapped Jake’s ass with a playful growl before tossing the blonde onto the bed and crawling on top of him.

Neither of them could say anything when Ari smashed his lips to Jake’s and groaned, every inch of their bodies touching while their tongues met and Jake buried his hands in the older man’s hair. Jake couldn’t stop whimpering when Ari gripped his hips and rolled his body against his, sucking on Ari’s tongue and pulling on his hair as he wrapped his legs around that thick waist that spread into even thicker shoulders. Ari let out a deep purr that made Jake’s eyes roll all the way back, and it just went on when Jake whined so prettily he thought of going to buy a ring right then and there. But instead he just ducked lower to lick Jake’s throat.

Jake needed him so much, needed to feel his bare skin. He pushed Ari back just long enough to yank the man’s shirt over his head and gasp before Ari’s tongue was in his mouth again.

“Jesus Christ.” Jake groaned when Ari bit his jaw and he looked down at his bare torso, the golden tanned skin and the dark hair and the muscles. “How the fuck are you even real?”

“Look who’s talking.” Ari grinned at Jake when the blonde pushed his hair out of his face while he leaned over him, starting to slide his fingers under the edge of the younger man’s shirt so slowly. “With this tiny waist and your perky ass? You’re a little wet dream, cub.”

“You mean this ass?” Jake was finally starting to feel more relaxed, laughing softly when he rolled over and popped his ass up in the air so Ari could smack it again.

“You’re fucking adorable.” Ari leaned down and bit Jake’s ear, pushing the t-shirt over his baby’s head and starting to kiss his way down his spine until he reached the small of his back and paused. “Oh my god, baby… you have a tramp stamp?”

“Oh shit!” Just like that Jake’s nerves were back, trying to roll back over unsuccessfully while Ari stared at the tattoo he had completely forgotten he had until this moment. “It’s nothing!”

“Well now I’m extremely interested.” Ari laughed and nipped at Jake’s hip when the man groaned and buried his face in the pillows, furrowing his brow while he took in the intricate lettering that covered the small of Jake’s back. “It’s beautiful. I don’t recognize the language, what is it?”

“Elvish.” Jake’s voice was muffled when he kept his face buried in the pillow. Leave it to his nerdy impulses to derail what was supposed to be some mind blowing sex, he knew he should have gotten the thing removed.

“Uh-huh, and what does it say?” Ari kissed the tattoo lovingly and hummed against Jake’s skin when his baby huffed out a frustrated breath. “C’mon cub, I’m not gonna leave it alone.”

“Fine.” Jake looked at his boyfriend over his shoulder and blushed beet red, rubbing his eyes and sighing before going into the ridiculous details of his stupid tattoo. “Just remember that I was drunk when I got it. Have you seen or read the Lord of the Rings?” Jake spluttered when Ari shook his head and had to blink a few times to recenter himself. “Okay, well… we’ll fix that later. Anyway, there’s a riddle to get into the mine of Moria and I thought it would be hilarious to put the riddle right above my ass… it says ‘Speak friend and enter.’”

The look on Ari’s face was unreadable and it made Jake want to hide under the covers and never leave. Then his man started turning red, and then his body started shaking, and all of a sudden he was laughing uncontrollably and Jake couldn’t help but join him.

“Stop laughing! Ari!” Jake’s sides started hurting he was wheezing so hard, but he loved the sound of Ari’s laugh more than anything in the world. “My twenties were kinda crazy, I would do anything on a dare!”

“Aww, baby!” Ari guffawed and rubbed his cheek into the small of Jake’s back before climbing back up the man’s body and kissing his cheek. “I love you so fucking much, oh my god.”

“You… what?!” Jake felt like he had emotional whiplash with all the left turns this night kept taking. He had not expected to get the first declaration of this man’s love for him after revealing his ill advised tattoo. “You love me?”

“I mean… yeah.” Ari’s gaze was soft when he finally managed to take a deep breath, turning Jake over and resting his forehead against the blonde’s while he licked his lips. “I love you a lot. Like… endgame love.”

“Oh…” And just like that Jake felt like he was floating on air, his heart thumping against his ribs so hard he was worried they were going to break. “I love you too.”

“Yeah?” Ari kissed Jake tenderly and sighed when he nodded, holding him close and sliding his tongue between his lips while they started grinding against each other again. “Say it again, baby.”

“I love you.” Jake moaned when Ari sucked a bruise against his jaw and reached to grab the lube from the bedside table. “I love you, Ari.”

“I love you, Jake.” Ari started undoing Jake’s jeans when the younger man whined with need, biting his collarbone gently when he felt Jake’s fingers working at his fly in turn. “I fucking love you.”

Jake arched his hips and panted desperately while Ari tugged off his jeans and boxer briefs, pushing Ari’s pants off as well and keening when he felt the heavy weight of the older man’s cock resting against his hip. He already knew this was it for him, he was a goner for this man. And he’d never been happier.

“Baby, you’re so smooth, Jesus.” Ari growled against Jake’s cheek when he lubed up his fingers and slid them between Jake’s legs, rubbing their noses together when Jake hitched a knee over his hip to open himself up more. “You do all that for me baby?”

“Mmhm, yeah… ooooooh my god.” Jake’s breath hitched when just one of Ari’s thick fingers slipped inside his clenching hole, his head tilting back so the older man could lick and suck at his throat. “Ohmyfuckingjesuschrist…”

“Yeah, that’s so good, Jake.” Ari cupped the back of Jake’s head while he kept stretching him open, pressing gentle kisses over his neck and jaw while the blonde whined. “Right there?”

“Yes… ah shit!” Jake was going to lose his mind and they hadn’t even gotten to the second finger yet. But Ari was already rubbing his prostate while his thumb teased his taint and it was utterly unfair how good this man was at sex.

“Shhh, relax. Breathe for me, cubby.” Ari slid in a second finger and smiled against Jake’s skin when he felt the younger man’s cock twitch against his thigh. “Oh honey, gonna make me addicted to making you feel good, that look on your face. You’re so goddamn perfect.”

Jake couldn’t answer him, he could only moan stupidly when Ari pressed his thumb into his taint harder while he scissored his fingers. If this was how he was feeling from just prep, how was it going to be once Ari was inside him? He couldn’t dwell on that thought, though, because suddenly there was a third finger stretching him wide and holy fucking shit the man’s fingers were thicker than most of the cocks Jake had taken in his life.

Ari sucked on that sensitive spot behind Jake’s ear and the man’s entire body arched off the bed. The blonde started babbling mindlessly, begging Ari for more, telling him he was ready. He was practically sobbing, he needed his bear so bad.

“Please… oh god…” Jake shook and bit his lips when Ari curled his fingers one last time, turning his head so he could rub his nose against a bearded cheek while he whimpered pathetically. “Ari…”

“You ready for me, Jake?” Ari rolled until he was laying on top of Jake, smiling when the blonde nodded as he pulled his fingers out of him.

The two of them gazed deeply into each other’s eyes while Ari pushed Jake’s knees up towards his chest with just one massive hand while the other smeared lube all over his throbbing cock. Neither of them said anything about it, but they were both unbelievably happy that they had gotten tested before tonight so a condom wasn’t needed. All they wanted was to feel every inch of each other with no barriers, and now they would.

Ari’s eyes were intense as he lined himself up with Jake’s hole, his broad chest pressing against Jake’s knees while he swallowed Jake’s breaths. He pushed his hips forward slowly, screwing his eyes closed and letting out a low, guttural noise when the tip of his cock caught on Jake’s rim for just a second before sliding inside. The way Jake clutched at his shoulders and choked only made things more intense, the two of them holding on for dear life as their bodies joined.

“Oh god, baby…” Ari shuddered when his hips met the backs of Jake’s thighs, grinning like a fool and cupping the younger man’s face in his hands while he breathed deeply. “You feel so fucking good, Jake, you okay?”

“Yeah…”

Jake was more than okay. He ran his hands up Ari’s shoulders until they were tangled in his hair, gasping into his mouth when he began giving small thrusts of his hips. The movements Ari made were smooth and sensuous, deep strokes that seemed designed to make Jake feel everything. It should be unnatural that someone could move like that, that someone so large could be so deliberate and delicate with someone else. But there was very little that was natural about Ari Levinson.

“There ya go… look at you, baby.” Ari held Jake’s head so tenderly as his movements grew more pronounced, kissing the corner of his mouth while he dug his knees into the mattress and leaned into it. “Tell me how you’re feeling, cub, lemme hear it.”

“I feel… feel so good… so fucking good, Ari.” Jake almost choked on his own tongue when Ari ground into him deep, pulling on the older man’s hair and arching his back to meet Ari’s thrusts. “Oh god, you’re so deep, don’t stop.”

“Never.” Ari leaned back for just a second, letting Jake wind his legs around his waist before pressing their bodies together again and kissing the younger man’s collarbone. “I’ll never stop, Jake. I love you, tell me you love me.”

“Love you.” Jake whimpered when Ari gave a pointed thrust of his hips, his wide stretched hole fluttering around the older man’s thick cock when he started getting sloppy and desperate with his movements. “Love you so fucking much, oh my fucking god.”

Jake didn’t think he would ever be able to stop saying it. His life was forever changed from this moment onwards. There was no picture of his future he could come up with that didn’t have Ari in it, that didn’t involve him underneath this man as often as possible and giving himself over to him completely. He felt like his cock was in his throat, like his guts were getting constantly rearranged in addition to his heart.

Ari moved his face back to Jake’s as he started thrusting faster, his firm abdomen rubbing against Jake’s leaking cock while he rested his forehead against the blonde’s. He kept his eyes fixed on Jake’s as he kissed him deeply, smiling against his lips and groaning when he felt Jake starting to clench. His thumbs ran over Jake’s cheeks lovingly, his breath leaving him in a low grunt when Jake looked at him with those big blue eyes as he started moving more vigorously when he felt Jake’s body getting tighter.

“Give it to me, Jake.” Ari growled when Jake squeezed his waist with his lithe thighs, his lips insistent while he punched his cock into his boy’s tight little hole. “Oh fuck, I wanna feel you come for me, cubby. Please, baby.”

The sound of Ari begging him pushed Jake over the edge with a shout, his cum exploding out of the tip of his cock when Ari drove against his prostate and made his body arch off the bed. His eyes rolled back in his skull and he threw his head back as he sobbed through his orgasm, Ari’s lips on his throat and his groan making his entire body vibrate while he kept clenching and fluttering around Ari’s fat cock. Jake moaned when Ari started to swell inside him, wrapping his legs even tighter around Ari’s waist as the older man nipped at his bottom lip.

“I want it, bear.” Jake licked Ari’s lips and brushed their noses together. “Come inside me.”

“Whatever you want, cubby.” Ari ground his hips deep and pressed his palms against the mattress on either side of Jake’s head, grunting as his movements started to stutter before he started to tense up. “Always whatever you want.”

Ari tossed his head back and practically roared as his cum flooded Jake’s ass, his eyes screwing shut while he vibrated and pumped his seed as deep as possible. That was a sight Jake decided he was never going to get enough of, the way Ari’s body rolled and his tongue flicked over his lips as he made those delicious noises perhaps the most beautiful thing he’d experienced in his life. Jake smiled and huffed out a breath when Ari collapsed on top of him, laughing when his bear growled pleasantly and nuzzled into his throat.

“Mmm, that was incredible.” Jake sighed and let himself melt into the bed, purring when Ari wrapped his arms around him. “I think you may have broken my brain a little bit.”

“Yeah? Well I love that.” Ari grinned when he gently kissed Jake’s lips, chuckling when he rolled so Jake was laying on top of him. “And I didn’t even need to solve that riddle.”

[dilf-in-peril]

Here's some matches I recently watched and enjoyed.

Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness (ROH Unified) - I watched their whole feud and this is maybe not the best match out of the lot, and you should watch them all anyway, but this his was the moment where I started getting emotionally invested in Nigel because he suffers so bravely. And then he suffers and he suffers and he suffers some more. Oh god, how he suffers.

Mad Dog Connelly vs. Demus (ACTION DEAN~!!!) - Nasty, graceless, brutal, horny dog collar match.

CM Punk vs. Austin Aries (ROH Death Before Dishonor III) - Yeah, I watched it again. I just needed to study the kind of babyface pranks Punk is doing. The kick out at one. Beating the canvas in rythm to Miseria Cantare. The Hogan shit! Never before have smarks been this worked and gotten to.

Austin Aries & Jack Evans vs. Bryan Danielson & Samoa Joe (ROH Third Anniversary Celebration - Day 2) - Fuck Jack Evans up competition. Joe slaps the shit out of him, Bryan bends him in positions you didn't think were possible. It's all very charming. There is breakdancing too.

Jimmy Rave vs. CM Punk (ROH Manhattan Mayhem) - I really can't get enough of this. It's so sick. Punk bleeds so well and it all feels gross and weirdly sexual in a way nothing else in ROH feels at that time. Incredible finish made up by a madman, according to Rave he had to be talked into doing that to Punk. And then he's suffering himself out of the room like Jesus and cutting an insane Possession 1981 promo backstage.

Chigusa Nagayo vs. Dump Matsumoto (AJW, 8/28/1985) - The hair match, or rather the hair post match angle. It's such an absolutely insane experience of hysteria and carthasis like I've never seen before. The crowd is weeping. I wrote "what if jesus was a dyke" in my match sheet.

Greg Valentine vs. Roddy Piper (MACW) - Hard to believe they only wrestled each other this one time before the dog collar match. It's impressive how emotionally engaging this match is when they are really mostly just throwing punches. Things used to be different. For one the lighting was amazing and made them look like Gods.

[eashmo]

7 minutes in hell, or is it heaven? Part 2

-Call Me Babydoll-

Warnings: eventual smut, fluff, and lots of angst. Billy is a soft bean to y/n.

------------------

The door opens quickly. Seeing Tommy coming into view, I rip my arm out of Billy's grip and run out of the room.

"What the fuck is her problem? Stupid fat bitch is such a goody two sho.." Tommy got cut off by Billy punching him square in the jaw. Not holding back a few punches.

"DON'T EVER TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!" He yells as he races out of the bedroom for you.

Nancy, where are you? I thought, almost taking me 10 minutes to find her and successfully avoiding Billy, finding her with a very drunk steve.

"Y/n, I have to take Steve back home. Will you be ok by yourself?" She says as she slings Steve's arm around her neck, struggling to get him off the couch.

"Wait, sweetie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Noticing your red rimmed eyes and mascara that ran down your face.

Shaking my head, "I'm just being an emotional drunk, that's all, because they didn't have pop in the fridge." I pouted. She didn't need to know about the drama with Billy.

Nancy smiles a little at your childish confession. "Are you sure, sweetie?, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call Steve's house... ok?"

I laugh a little and salute "yes mom, I'll be ok to walk home, i need the fresh air from all these teenage hormones." I wave a finger around the living room of drunk and horny high-schoolers.

"Oh, by the way, Nancy, good luck with Steve he looks like he's dying," saying our goodbyes quickly, I started walking home.

"Jesus H Christ, I should have asked someone for a ride. It's freezing." sighing tiredly as I pulled down my short dress that Nancy dressed me in.

Walking barefoot with heels in hand, i didn't hear the roar of a familiar car because of my exhausted state. Flying passed you, I glared at the car due to the sudden noise and wind to find that the car screeched to a halt and was reversing back to me. Scared of being kidnapped, I started to walk faster.

Window rolled down. i heard a husky voice. " Hey loser, get in."

I stop walking to find Billy peering through the other side of the window.

"Thanks, but no thanks, Hargrove." I Spat as I continue to walk away from the car. He had other ideas, continuing to drive slowly right beside me. Stopping in my tracks "the hell you want Hargrove?"

"I want your cranky ass in this damn car Y/L/N, RIGHT NOW!" He growled.

"How about no, I'm not going anywhere with you!" I snapped.

He angrily laughs and grips the steering wheel tight. I would have been lying to myself if I didn't find that attractive. But then I noticed that his knuckles were bruised. They weren't like that when I left him in the bedroom. Right?

"Get. In. The. Car" is all he said.

"Ugh, fine, whatever you say, dad," I say, dripping with sarcasm. I was only giving up because I was exhausted from tonight's events. Opening the door and silently got in.

"Good girl," he said smugly, rolling my eyes. I decide to take a little nap to the soft sound of a Duran Duran song playing in the background. Refusing to talk to him.

*Billy's pov*

Halfway through the drive, I notice how her breath slowed and how her body leaned towards mine. "What am I going to do with you, babydoll?" Softly smiling, I stretched out my right arm to scoot her body next to mine. I relax into her when I felt her cuddling into my side, seeking more warmth.

Her head slid down to my lap as I continue to drive through dark backroads of Indiana. I took my right hand to grip the steering wheel as I used my left hand to thread my fingers in her soft h/c. Looking down at her, I wondered how it was possible to fall in love with her even more when she started to lean into his hand as she slept. she had him wrapped around her fingers, but he's not gonna to admit that to her.

Can I really be seen with a person like her? It is actually more like the other way around. I was a nobody, a person that doesn't respect anyone, a player, an asshole. Y/n was someone. She respects people who are good and bad to her, she's innocent, and she's an angel.

I was shocked that she became feisty towards me tonight. She was always painfully quiet and timid. That's why i always bullied her to get her to at least yell at me once, but she never did.

Ever since I came into history class late on my first day because of Max, I was assigned the seat right next to hers. I didn't believe in love at first sight, but I fell head over heels for her e/c eyes. That day, I viewed things differently when it came to her.

Never thought in a million years that she would even be my type, having H/L H/C, thick nerdy glasses, a bit of chub around the waist, and thick thighs. She was a goddess in his eyes. I just wish she wouldn't call me just Hargrove, I want my first name to fall from those pretty lips.

*Y/n pov*

A bump slowly woke me up. As I did, I saw Billy staring at the road. I thought I was dreaming again, reaching out to touch his face, I missed the fact that he went stiff underneath me. He slowly looked down at me.

"Why are you so beautiful, You were carved from the Gods themselves, " I lazily ask.

"I don't know, babydoll, you tell me." He says with a small smile as he continued to drive.

Humming to myself, I try to think of the answer. I start to realize this was not a usual dream. Shooting up, I almost head butt his face if he didn't dodge so quickly.

Scaring him, he halted the car into an abrupt stop, causing whatever was in the back seat to go flying to the floor.

"Jesus christ, babydoll, what the hell is wrong with you?" He says quickly.

I stare at him wide eyed, he never calls anyone babydoll. "What did you just call me?"

"Nothing, now get the fuck out." He snapped.

What the hell is his problem, I thought, seeing that we were barely parked in my driveway. I quickly got out. "Thank you for the ride, Hargrove. I'll see you at school, I guess." I say as I run to my front door at full speed. Slamming the door closed, almost waking up the parents.

*Billy pov*

I didn't mean to snap at her, but I freaked out from the sudden jump scare and almost having to explain the pet name I gave her. Naturally, I lashed.

Luckily I live on the same road as her as I drive to my house I take deep breaths to prepare myself to enter the pit of hell I call home.

As I got through the door, I immediately felt the sting of a fist connecting to my jaw.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FAGGOT? SCREWING AROUND WITH ALL YOUR WHORES ALL NIGHT?" an angry voice shouted through the quiet house. The voice that came from the person he most dreaded, his father Neil. The devil himself.

Previous Chapter

Part 3

Masterlist

2023

[abbatoirablaze]

Stolen Glances, Ari Levinson

Word Count:  794

Your eyes met his from across the table, “I can do it.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you honey, but I think we got it covered,” your husband smiled gently as he put a hand on your thigh, “though, I’m sure Ari appreciates it, right Ari?”

“Hmm?” the large man hummed, looking at his best friend.

“Samantha was just offering up some time to your little cause...”

His breath hitched in his throat, and you knew he was thinking about the very same thing that had crossed your mind.

“Don’t do it baby,” he begged, his fingertips gripping your waist almost painfully, “don’t do it.”

“Ari, I-“

“Run away with me!”

“You are my future husband’s best friend,” you argued, fighting with yourself over your conflicting thoughts, “we can’t-I can’t-Ari...please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“He’ll understand,” he begged, pulling your hips firmly against his, “he’ll be angry for a bit, but Sammy will understand eventually.  He knew that night we saw you at the bar that there was a connection between us.  That-“

“Ari, you were married to your wife.  You’re still married to your wife.”

“And your child is mine!”

Your heart felt like it stopped beating. 

The both of you had known that your son belonged to him. 

That deep down he wasn’t supposed to have been given the surname Navon. 

“Ari...”

“Please, Samantha...”

“Honey?”

“I-I think I should go check on David!” you offered quietly, giving the man you loved since first sight a final glance.  You could see the pain behind his quiet, stoic demeanor as you raised from the seat.

“Honey, Ari’s over...and David is asleep.  Come on.  Enjoy the company...”

“Sammy...”

He sighed and put his napkin over his plate, “I’ll check on David.  You catch up with Ari.  We haven’t seen him since last year at our wedding.”

Before you could say anything your husband left the dining room and you were halfway standing up from your seat.

“I should probably get dessert...I-“

“Samantha-“

“Ari, don’t...”

His jaw clenched. 

“The little assignment that I need him for...it’s not a simple mission.  It’s not doctors without borders, and it’s not something safe,” he admitted after a moment, “I know that he said that it was, or that he told you we’d only be gone for a few weeks tops...but I don’t know if we’re ever coming home.”

“Wh-why are you telling me this, Ari?” you asked.

“Because if we don’t...I need you to know-“

“Ari-“

“Damn it Samantha, I need you to know,” he growled, cutting you off, “I have a safety deposit box for David...she doesn’t know about it.”

“What...are you trying to give me hush money now if whatever half-cocked scheme you’re getting Sammy to sign up for doesn’t pan out?” you growled back.

“No...I’m doing it because of our son...”

“He’s Sammy’s son.  Not yours, Ari.”

“On paper,” he reminded you, “he’s only Sammy’s on paper.”

“And what about your wife?” you hissed, “does she know about how you have another child then?  Does she-“

“We split up,” he announced, cutting your words off in your throat, “I left her the day that you and Sammy got married.”

“You what?”

He nodded, “that morning...when I begged you to come with me, I left her.  Gave her the house.  Gave her everything and just walked away...”

“Ari-why would you-“

“He’s still asleep,” your husband chirped, coming into the room, completely unaware of what was going on.  He sat back down and looked between you and Ari, and his expression dropped, “you told her, didn’t you?  You told her that we’re going to-“

“He didn’t tell me anything,” you said quickly as you grabbed your plate and your husbands, “I was just getting up to bring out dessert.”

He looked between you and Ari for a moment, not entirely believing it. 

“I told her about how I left Sarah and Maya...”

“Jesus, Ari.  You left Sarah?”

“Apparently on our wedding day,” you said dryly, “Ari said that he was in love with someone else, and left his wife and daughter to go chasing after her.”

“Well?” Sammy asked curiously as he sipped on his wine, “what happened?  Did you go after the woman you’re in love with?”

“I did...”

“And?”

“She already moved on,” he frowned, giving you another look, “I check up on her every once in a while...she’s got a child with another man...I suppose that I didn’t mean as much to her as I thought I did.”

“Bullocks!” Sammy frowned, shaking his head, “shame about Sarah...she was a good girl...but you’ll find someone new eventually Ari...you always do.”

“No, I don’t think I will, Sammy,” he frowned, continuing to eye you down, “she was the love of my life.”

[not-a-space-alien]

Magnanimous Moonrise Chapter 20M

In this chapter: Valen discovers he and the humans have more in common than he thought

Warnings: Discussion of disordered eating and self-harm/cutting

Thank you for waiting so patiently for chapter 20!! btw I know the dual chapter format doesn't work super well for dialogue-heavy chapters, so I'll probably try something different the first time I get to a chapter where I think having two perspectives doesn't benefit the narrative.

Story masterpost

Complementary chapter

***

Valen was able to quell his mounting anxiety for a little while by resting in the coffin, with the door locked.  Cozy and safe in the dark.  Lex and Ari made indistinct sounds in passing outside, whispering, thinking him sleeping.

They gave a soft knock to rouse him, asking him to come out and permission to lift him bodily onto the couch, which he granted.  They arranged him in the mountain of pillows, throwing a blanket out over his legs.  Lex crooned over him and made sure he was as cozy as possible. 

It felt…a little infantilizing, but he would take whatever comfort and softness was offered to him at this point.  Maybe he could be a creature with dignity again sometime later in life.

The two other hunters came soon enough. Ari opened the door.  One of the male hunters said something boisterously, which he couldn’t make any sense of, but which seemed to be a joke because the other humans all laughed at it.

Valen could tell Ari was unamused even just by looking at the back of her head.  "You think you're so funny. You're gonna need Jesus to save you if you don't knock that shit off."

The larger one came in first.  Bailey, he remembered.  “You're right. We're actually here to deliver a pizza. You want an XL or medium?" The smaller one, Jerome, came in just in time for Bailey to hook his arms around his shoulders.

"What is this, dinner and a show?"  Ari shut the door.

"Nah, we’re not doing standup.  The show is what this is for.”  Bailey gestured to a large instrument case strapped to his back, which Valen realized must be a guitar.

"You think you're so goddamn funny."  Ari seemed to know her job was to play the irritated straight shooter, otherwise their antics would just be annoying rather than endearing.

"You know you love us."

"Only because nobody else will."

Bailey grinned widely, then turned towards Valen.  "And there's the man of the hour! You're gonna eat like a king tonight."

Valen pressed himself fearfully into the back of the couch. The hunter’s tone was light, but all of a sudden, all Valen could picture was earlier when Bailey had been looking at him through the sight of a rifle.

"It is man, right?  Jerome insisted it was man.”

“You were all juiced up on T when you got here,” Jerome added.  “So I assumed.  Sorry you haven’t been able to get your juice while you’ve been here.  It’s clearly worn off by now.”

Why are you worrying about getting my pronouns right?  Why is that what everyone’s focused on?  He knew they were probably just trying to be respectful and make him feel better, but it did little to put him at ease.

Lex had done that, insist that Nick use the correct pronouns while torturing him.  As though Lex thought torture was okay as long as she wasn’t also being transphobic.  Like his gender was more important than his basic rights.

“S-sir, with all due respect, I appre-appreciate the apology, but I worry more about having my personal structural integrity respected than my gender identity.”

The four humans all looked at each other awkwardly.

“Right…” Jerome said.  “Listen.  I know an I’m sorry isn’t gonna do jack shit for something like….this.  But we really do mean it.  We’re sorry.  That’s why we’re here to try and make up for it, even if it’s just a little bit.”

No, no, no, he couldn’t handle this.  It was as if experiencing kindness from these four was just throwing it into relief how universally hated he was by everyone else.  All his friends had left him, his husband and family were a menace, and now the humans, the ones he’d been trying to help, treated him like this.

Valen burst into tears.  “You left me there, you just left me there, all of you.  You just watched.  And you’re the kind ones.  What hope do I have, on either side of the border?”

Lex came over and wrapped her arms around him.  “Shh, shh, you’re okay,” she soothed.

He tried to scoot back to put some distance between himself and Lex, choking back a sob.  “I’m not okay!  I’m very much not!  I’m a starved and injured vampire in a room with four vampire hunters, who helped someone torture me!  I would say this is as far from okay as one can be!”

Lex withdrew, looking hurt.  Ari took her elbow and pulled her away.  “Give him some space, Alex.”

Jerome sat down on the edge of the bed.  Valen clutched the blanket to himself, tears streaming down his face.  “I get it,” Jerome said.  “We suck.  I know we suck.  I’m sorry we suck.  Please let us try and suck a bit less by helping you.”

Valen loosened his death grip on the blanket.

“You’re safe,” Lex said.  “I promise you’re safe now.”

“We realized how fucked up it was, what we did,” Ari said.  “And now we’re trying to fix it.  That’s it.”

“Okay,” Valen said, voice wobbly.  “Thank you.”

“Do you want us to just feed you and leave?” Jerome said.  “We were gonna, um, kind of hang out, but…well, if it’s just gonna make you feel worse, we don’t have to hang around.”

Valen tried to control his breathing.  He was trying so hard to just listen, but they were four vampire hunters.  “You can go about your business.  I won’t–I don’t mind.  I’ll stay out of the way.  You won’t even know I’m here.”

“Er,” said Jerome, awkwardly fiddling with one of his locs.  “No, I mean, we were going to hang out here, with you, to try and make you feel better.”

Got it.

She’s fucking rabid.

I told you it hurts them.

Put her in the trunk.

Fuck, tie it up first.

Settle down!

Valen curled in on himself, ears involuntarily pinned to his head, lip wobbling.  “I–I–I–”

“It’s okay,” Bailey said, sitting down and putting an arm around Valen.  “Breathe, babydoll.  It’s okay.”

I’m sorry we suck.  Please let us try and suck a bit less.

Valen broke down into tears.  “Why did you think it would be okay to do that to me even if I wasn’t innocent? Why do you think anyone deserves that?  I was in there for six months, locked in the coffin except to be taken out and tortured, and you didn’t even give me a chance, you kidnapped me and tortured me, you didn’t even let me talk, and–and–”  His protest dissolved into wretched sobs.  “Why do you think it’s okay to do that to any living creature?  You’re monsters.”

Bailey eased back, face dark.  The humans all looked at each other awkwardly as Valen continued to bawl.  

Jerome patted the blanket. “Listen…” he said.  “Like I said, saying sorry can only go so far.  Trying to make it up to you can only go so far.  I’m not saying it’s right, or we should have let it happen.  But maybe you’ll be less freaked out if you understand.  Most of us have lost family members to vampires.  We know what happens to them.  They just get taken and snatched up out of nowhere, thrown into the meat grinder.  It’s happened to us, and it can happen again, to anyone we care about, at any time.  I don’t know if you’ve ever been through something like that, but it….does things to you.  Makes you numb.  Makes you care less about things you’d normally care about.  Makes you think someone on the other side should have a turn suffering.  Makes you think maybe you should just let the unthinkable happen if it means it can stop the flow of blood.”

“It’s fucked,” Bailey says, tears welling in his eyes.  “The whole thing is just fucked.  Valen, man, please, you gotta understand.  The only vampires we ever meet are the ones who cross the border, and they're usually the worst of the worst.  We never met anyone like you before.  We’re on edge all the time, knowing every night someone wants to kidnap or kill us.  Obviously I’m not saying it was right, but surely you gotta understand at least a little bit, right?  We’re not total monsters, I promise we aren’t.”

“You know what vampires are capable of,” Ari added.  “You know how they can be dangerous.  But you don’t feel it like we do.  You’ve never been a prey animal.”

Valen had felt like a prey animal more than he cared to admit, more than he could describe.  But they were right, to an extent…

Valen squeezed his eyes shut and took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself.  “Yes,” he said carefully.  “I understand, in theory, the reasons behind your actions.”

“I’m sorry it took us so long to realize,” Lex said.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry we just ignored the way you were suffering.”

Valen thought about the humans at his previous home, the ones the other nobles fed on, and how he’d refused to feed on them, and then did nothing else to help them.  He had even less justification.  He hadn’t done that out of mortal peril and desperation like they did.  It’d been out of inertia and apathy and lack of initiative.  Out of fear of change and radical action.

He’d thought to himself, If I free those humans, they’ll just go get more, so it wouldn’t do anything.  And he’d been right, in a way, in that the problem was systemic and not on an individual level.  But…he’d refused to feed on them out of squeamishness, and then walked past them every day and didn’t help, the same way these humans had done to him.  He understood the reasoning far better than he wanted to admit.

“Okay,” he said, his rabbit-quick heartbeat finally slowing down.  “I understand why you did it.  I do.  It’s just difficult to feel safe.”

“We’ve learned our lesson,” Lex said.  “We’re not gonna let something like that happen again, to you or to anyone.”

Valen nodded.  “Thank you.  Thank you, ma’am.”

“There, see?  Everything’s okay.”  Bailey slung his guitar around and started to pluck a few strings.  “Now, time for dinner and a show!”

Valen couldn’t help but smile.  Bailey and Jerome were just so….goofy.  It felt weird.  Like as though he hadn’t expected the vampire hunters to have any personality beyond wanting to hurt him.  “Excellent,” he said timidly.  “I’ll be sure to spread the word about the excellent service at your establishment, haha!”

“Oh he’s funny,” Jerome said.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s funny, but he’s also fucking hungry I bet.  Time to chow down, big guy.”  Bailey rolled his sleeve up.  “Ari said the arm is an option, yeah?”

“Um…” Valen shrank back.  “I can’t bite–You–you pulled my fangs out.”

Bailey blinked.  “Ah.  Shit.  We did.”

Ari wordlessly handed over her knife.  

“Right…” Bailey said.  He took the knife unhappily.  Jerome looked like someone had threatened to stab him, and took a step back without a word.  Valen looked at him apprehensively.

“All right, here I go,” Bailey said, looking queasy.  He positioned the knife over his arm, in the spot where it seemed safest.  He took in a pained, hissing breath as he made a cut with the knife.

“Jesus, you big baby,” Ari said.

“Ey, ey, some of us don’t see blood once a month, ya know.  Only when something’s the matter.”  He sat on the edge of the bed and held his bleeding arm out to Valen.  “Eat up.”

“Thank you, sir,” Valen said politely, and bobbed his head in a bow.  He leaned forward and took Bailey’s arm delicately, drinking in small, dainty sips.

“There ya go,” Bailey said, ruffling Valen’s hair.  “Bet that feels better.”

Valen finished his drink, swiping his tongue over the wound to close it, then bringing his head back up, licking his lips.  “It does.  Thank you, sir.”

Jerome was still cowering against the wall.  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Ari said.  “The two of us are plenty.”

“Is everything okay?” Lex said.  “Like, something up?”

“Um.”  Jerome swallowed and drew forwards, wringing his hands.  “No, I–I want to help.  I want to help him get better.  I do.  I just…”

“Is getting fed from too much, even if it’s from an open cut?” Lex said.  “Blood loss affect you?”

“Um...”  Jerome nervously shook his head.  “I, no, that’s not it.  I-”

Valen panicked a bit, guilt and fear flooding him, as he saw the internal struggle about whether or not to feed him.  “Don’t feel obligated, sir, it’s quite all right.  I’ve had more than enough for today.”  Two feedings was definitely enough to stave off the hunger–if he wanted to get back to a healthy weight, he’d definitely get better faster with more, but this had saved him from the hunger at least.  But what was the issue?  Was Jerome afraid of him?  That wasn’t good, at all.  It’d seemed like things were going well, but now he started to spiral into anxiety again.

“I want to,” Jerome said, sounding like he was about to cry.  “I do, I’m sorry.  I just can’t, man.  I’m sorry.”

Bailey squeezed his shoulder.  “You don’t have to tell them, J-man.”

“No, I…Okay, yeah, I want to.”  Jerome sighed.  He rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie, revealing a series of scars striped up his forearm.  They looked old, but they were easy to see because they were raised and bumpy, and darker in color than his already-dark skin.  “I just, um…I just got some baggage about cutting myself,” he said, swallowing thickly.  

Lex and Ari both looked sorrowful.  “Oh,” Lex said softly.  “Of course.  Don’t worry about it.  Whatever you can handle.  It’s fine if you can’t.”

Valen was horrified by the reveal of this injury, but….the humans all seemed to know what this meant, and Valen….didn’t know what could have caused an injury like that.  His imagination ran wild trying to guess.  Had Jerome been forced to cut himself to feed vampires before?

“I would never force you, sir,” Valen says.  “I promise.  I don’t know….why, or who would make you do that, but…”

The humans all looked at him like he’d grown a second head.  He shrunk back fearfully.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry if that was rude, sir, I am–I just don’t understand, I-”

Jerome laughed, his thick voice breaking up the tension in the air.  “Of course.  Oh my God.  Vampires don’t scar, so of course you wouldn’t know.  I can’t imagine they self-harm either.”  He ran his fingers over his forearm.  “I…did this myself.  When I was younger.”

“What?  Why?” Valen blurted out before he could stop himself.  He was horrified by this idea.

“It’s hard to describe,” Jerome said.  “I was…in a lot of emotional pain.  It felt like…I didn’t deserve to not be in pain, in a way, that I deserved it.  Or maybe it was easier to have a bigger problem.  A cut on the arm is easier to treat than feeling like shit, you know?  You probably wouldn’t get it, but it made sense to my brain at the time.”

Never in a million years would Valen have guessed a human would feel like that.  He’d had thoughts like that before, but they’d been driven by guilt, and disgust at himself.  He’d never cut himself, but he’d starved himself often enough.  But he did that because he needed to hurt others to feed, why would a human hate themselves enough for that?  Why could they possibly feel guilty about existing like Valen did?

Maybe he shouldn’t say this.  Maybe when he tells them about he’d sometimes gone days without eating because of the shame and self-loathing, only eating when the hunger pains became too much to bear, maybe they’ll say he should have done that, because he’s a monster and hurts others when he takes care of himself.

“I…do get it,” Valen says bravely.  “More than I care to admit.  I…often starved myself for similar reasons.  I felt too guilty to eat.  Too guilty for existing.  I never cut myself, but I often had self-inflicted pain.  It was….stupid.”

Jerome let out a slightly choked murmur of pity, putting a hand on Valen’s shoulder.  “It wasn’t stupid, man, neither of us were.  I mean, heck, for you, it at least made sense, right?  Because you felt guilty for drinking people’s blood, yeah?  That’s only natural.”

“No, I…I still did that to myself even when I started drinking the imported blood.”

They all blinked at him.  Oh, they…they didn’t know about the imported blood?  But of course, how would they know?

“There are specialty shops on the other side of the border who import blood from overseas,” he explained.  “Where there’s infrastructure for collecting it from paid volunteers.  Places where things are kinder.”

“That’s awesome!” Lex said.  “Holy shit!”

Valen nodded.  “Yes.  So I shouldn’t have felt guilty for eating then, but…  It still lingered.”  He looked up at Jerome.  “I wouldn’t have thought humans would have any reason to feel that way.  You’re innocent.”

Jerome gave him a sad smile.  “It’s so much more complicated than that, man.  We got…things to cope with even though we don’t have to drink blood, ya know?  I dunno if you want me to dump all this on you, but my…  I was depressed as fuck growing up.  It’s easy to fall into when things seem so hopeless.  It’s so hard to stay outta jail, when it feels like they’re trying to get you in there. And my… the first time doing it was when…”

He put his head in his hands, starting to cry. Bailey sat down and put his arms around him.  “It’s okay.  You’re all right.”

“When my Daddy found out I was gay,” Jerome choked out.  “And I told him I was worried about–about catching GRID, or whatever that-that gay flu going around is, that people are dying from and he said- he said maybe it would be better if I did.”  He broke down into full-blown sobs.

Lex and Ari came over and added themselves to the comforting hug as Jerome cried.  Valen stared at him with misty eyes, absolutely blown away.  For some reason, he hadn’t imagined humans to be capable of such cruelty.  At first, to anyone–he wouldn’t have guessed they could be so cruel to him, a vampire, but to say such a thing to another human?

Why? 

His worldview had started to crumble in his hands.  He’d mostly been picturing humans living picturesque, ideal lives ruined only by the monstrous actions of vampires.  How had he been so narcissistic to think the world revolved around him and his crimes like that?  Why hadn’t he thought that humans were fully-realized individuals who could invent their own bigotry against other humans?

“I’m…sorry, sir,” Valen said.  “That’s unbelievably cruel.  I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Jerome sniffed and looked up at him, wiping his eyes.  “Yeah,” he said, voice wobbly.  “But hey, I don’t have to care about what he thinks anymore.  Fuck him, haha.  I got everyone I need right here.”

“Yeah, man, yeah you do.”

Jerome disentangled himself from the hug.  “Well–Well I don’t care that my blood ain’t good enough for the Red Cross–it’s good enough for you, and you know blood better than they do.  Come on, let’s figure out some way to make this work, huh?”

The group tossed ideas around, and hemmed and hmmed for a while, before Jerome eventually agreed that it would be okay to make two pinpricks, like a bite, rather than a cut.  It took a lot longer to get the blood out, but Jerome didn’t mind, and good-naturedly played with Valen’s hair while he did so, which was soothing.

Valen was overfull by the time he was done.  He was starting to get a bit afraid that he’d throw up again.  “Thank you, sir.  I feel much better now.”

“Well, we ain’t done yet!”  Bailey jovially picked up his guitar.  “Get ready!”

“R-ready for what?” Valen stammered.

“He’s gonna play you a song,” Lex said.

“It’s supposed to make you feel better,” Jerome said.  “If you’d rather not, we don't have to.”

Valen drew the covers further up himself.  “That-that sounds nice.  That could be nice.  Thank you.”

“Right,” Bailey said.  His fingers started working at the guitar strings, plucking out a jaunty tune.  “Now I’m good on the guitar here, and Jerome’s got the golden pipes, so I’m gonna let him lead, and I’ll be the backup singer.”

Jerome reached into his bag and pulled out a tambourine, shaking it.  “And you ladies might know the words to this song, so feel free to sing along.”  This with a wink at Valen, which caused him to slide down into the couch.

Jerome started singing.

Oh it happened one night when the moon was bright

And full, but not as full as my heart.

Lex and Ari instantly recognized the song and joined in, smiling widely and laughing.  Apparently this song is….very funny, but Valen had never heard it.

When I saw her, I knew she could tear me apart

She was pale and dead and covered in blood but hey

Nobody’s perfect

And she paralyzed me with a glance

No persuasion needed

And no sooner had my lips touched hers 

Than all the blood had left my body

But it was worth it in the end as the feeling fled my limbs

Valen went beet red, realizing suddenly that the song was about a human man taking a vampire lover and getting killed for it.  It was undeniably a sad story, but…it was so chipper.  Was this supposed to be a joke?

Bailey knelt down next to Valen, gesturing to him grandly during a particularly intense verse.

Oh you’re so big and bad it’s true

But that’s what I like about you

Jerome knelt on his other side, shaking the tambourine.  

It’s true that you could snap me in half 

But baby, maybe I’m into that.

Valen tossed the covers over his head, mortified. 

And if this ends with me getting all my stuff sucked out, Well,

That’s sort of what I was hoping for

There was silence for a moment, no one singing, the guitar twanging.  He cautiously raised his head and peeked over the blanket, only to find that everyone was looking at him and pointing.

“I’m sorry,” he stuttered.  “I don’t know the words.”

“Oh, this part is just a big growl,” Bailey said.

Valen’s eyes bounced around the room.

“Go on,” Jerome said.  “Give us your scariest growl.”

Valen nervously clutched the blanket, scanning them all one last time to make sure it was really okay before letting out a tiny, strangulated noise.

They all knew Valen had a better growl in him.  Hell, they’d heard him give better growls, in the basement.  But he was afraid to go too hard, to seem too threatening.  Nobody pushed it.  They gave a cheer.

Valen’s spirits soared.  He’d participated, and they were all cheering for him.  He knew it was supposed to be a silly song, clearly it was supposed to be a silly song, but….  It made him feel better.  Less alone.  Less different from the humans, to know that he wasn’t the only one who’d had lofty ideas about love between humans and vampires, to think about a world where a human would walk up to a vampire and kiss her.

His eyes shifted over to Lex and Ari.  He couldn’t decide how he felt about them.  But he was definitely feeling something.

***

Tag list <3

@aceouttatime

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@nicolepascaline

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@zillastar13

[starkstruck27]

My first fill for @mungrovebingos !! I'm so excited to be participating in this event for the first time, so I hope you enjoy!! Story is linked to Ao3 here and also available to read under the cut.

First fill is gonna be for the prompt "Freckles" and is 515 words.

(Also, side note, this is the shortest one I have planned, so expect them to be longer in the future lol)

The problem with dating a night owl when you’re an early bird is that when summer comes around and you no longer have to go to bed at a certain time to wake up at a certain time, the early bird is just starting to wake when the night owl is just getting to bed. That’s how it worked for Billy and Eddie at least. Just as Billy’s starting to crash after a long night of reading and using the walkman Max got him to listen to music, Eddie’s just starting to wake up and start his day. So it was no surprise that after only an hour of sleep, Billy is cranky about being woken by something tickling his bare back.

When he first felt it, he sat bolt upright, taking his pillow with him and swatting at his back just in case it was a spider (those little bastards had woken him up enough times). But after hitting Eddie in the face by accident, he found it wasn’t a spider, and he calmed down, his heart rate settling as he tried to get comfortable on the bed again and even out his breathing. 

“Jesus, you alright?” Eddie asked, and Billy could hear the chuckle in his voice. If he wasn’t so damn tired, he might’ve found it cute.

“Yeah, thought there was a spider,” Billy responded with a yawn, his eyes already closed again.

“Nope, no spiders. Just me,” Eddie said, and then the tickle was back, “You know you got a shit ton of freckles? It’s like you got a whole damn galaxy on your back.”

“Yeah, it’s called my job requires me to sit shirtless in the sun all day,” Billy said, rolling his tired eyes, but he couldn’t contain his smile. Eddie hummed quietly in response and then stayed quiet, letting Billy doze. After a while, his feather-light fingers returned, drawing funny little patterns all over his back as Eddie began to hum a quiet song. Billy was almost asleep again, but he was curious, so he yawned and turned his head to try and look back at Eddie.

“What’re ya doin’?” He mumbled, feeling the crust in his eyes as he blinked.

“You’ve got constellations on your back, Star Boy,” Eddie whispered back. He kept up his tracing on different spots of Billy’s back, but this time, as he did it, instead of humming he whispered their names. “Here’s Andromeda… Orion… Ursa Major… Aries… Pegasus… Hydra…”

“You’re a nerd, Munson,” Billy smiled as he turned back over, his smile stuck on his face as he relaxed back into the pillows.

“Yeah, but you’re the one who fell for me, so…” Eddie laughed gently, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s shoulder. He leaned back again after it to continue tracing the constellations among Billy’s freckles, still quietly murmuring their names as he did so, and lulling Billy into a peaceful sleep. Neither of them knew how they ended up so lucky to have met each other, but they decided never to question it. It must’ve been written in the stars.

[nightguide]

MUCH ADO ABOUT ASTROLOGY: babies love you saying it and now you're pretending to be one

SUNS EDITION

1H SUNS ARE CLINICALLY AROUND THAT ONE VIRGO AND THEY'RE THE BEST CUZ VIRGO SUNS MAINTAIN HONOUR BY IMITATING AN AQUARIUS AND NOT THE LATTER CUZ A OF THE MARTIAN ENERGY FROM THE HOUSE THAT MAKES VIRGO MORE COMPETENT THAN THE MERCURIAL BENEFITS A 1H CAN MAKE BY BEING AND THEY HAVE THE WHOLE FCKIN LIBRARY TO COMPENSATE THEIR DUMBASS JACKASS MOVIE THEY LIVE IN AS LONG AS VIRGOS LOVE BEING THAT MOVIE BY PURE FORCE AN NATURE THAT VIRGO SUNS DIRECTED EVERYTHING JOHNNY KNOXVILLE DID THE FIRST TIME INSANITY A 1H CAN NEVER GET BACK (CUZ THEY ARE THAT EXPERIENCE)

2H SUNS GET MORE BY LEARNING HOW TO BE A DUMBASS (LIKE I FEEL SORRY FOR THE AQUA SUNS WHO LIVE WITH THAT BULLSHIT DAILY BY THAT ONE AMERICAN TV SHOW THEY LEARNED FROM ANNOYING THEM 24/7, THE CHIRON POST IS THERE FOR YOU TO SS AND LIKE ANYTIME) AN THATS HOW 2H SUNS LIKE TO LIE BUT HATES IT SO THEY DONT MAKE THE PLANET DO IT FOR THEM (MARS RULED) SO ITS NOT THEIR FAULT (ANYBODY RLLY) 3H SUNS HATE YOU. JUST WATCH THEM GO

4H SUNS DELIVER EVERYTHING TO YOU BUT BE KIND THAT AN 11H MARS SHUTS THEM UP INSTANTLY ALWAYS BUT LIVING IN THEIR OWN UNIVERSE THAT EVEN THE DIRECTORS OF MINDHUNTER IS LOOKING TOO STUPID FOR THEIR OWN GOOD TO NARRATE THEIR LIVES NOW (YOU CAN COME OUT OF HIDING)

5H SUNS ARE LIKE A TURTLE NOW, I CANNOT THINK BUT THEY ALREADY LIVED 10 LIVES IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE THAT EVEN THEIR ZEN-LIKE BEHAVIOUR CANNOT REPRIMAND YOU FOR A GOOD TIME (SATURN NOW RULES OVER TURTLES FOR OLD AGE THAN OLD AGE BEING RULED BY PLUTO WHO ARE NOW THE MASTERS OF FCK AROUND AND FIND OUT AN THEY ACT LIKE 5 FOR THEIR AGE) NOT EVEN THE LATTER CAN QUESTION YOU AROUND A 5H SUN, LIKE HOW DARE YOU TALK SHI- AN NOW U KNOW WHY SATURNIANS RULE THE WORLD FOR A 5H SUN

6H SUNS HATE HAIR

7H SUNS HATE IMPRESSIONS

8H SUNS ARE IN EUPHORIA

9H ARE LIKELY TO BE THINKING OF THEMSELVES AS JESUS AND MISTAKENLY THEY ARE

10H SUNS ARE GAY

11H SUNS ARE PEOPLE PLEASERS

12H SUNS IS SELENA GOMEZ

NOW FOR THE SIGNS

ARIES SUNS ARE DYING ALWAYS BUT THEY KNEW WHY THEY HAD TO WATCH ALL OF THOSE FAST AN FURIOUS MOVIES ON A RE-RUNS TO SEE WHERE AND WHY FAMILY MATTERED

TAURUS SUNS ARE THINKING ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THE LATTER BUT NEVER DOES IT ANYWAY (ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH VIRGO MARS)

GEMINI SUNS HATE TIMING BUT HATING TIMING IS HATING THEMSELVES HATING THE UNIVERSE, BUT ONLY IF YOU LIVED WITH THEM LONG ENOUGH YOU'LL REALISE THAT THE WORLD IS A BABY TO THEM BUT THAT BABY IS LITERALLY JUST A BIT IN THEIR SOUL THAT MADE NO INTEREST TO THEM PHYSICALLY THAT TOLD THEM OFF FOR NO REASON SO THEY'RE ARGUING WITH THE GENERAL PUBLIC FOR A REASON THAT THEIR 'LIGHT' IS THEIR OWN LITTLE FRIEND THAT GOT TRAPPED THERE FOR DEMONISING REASON THAT HAD THEM IN A CHOKEHOLD THAT KEEPS THEM INTERESTED BY A FEELING AND NOT VIRTUE

CANCER SUNS TIMING IS TOO SHIT THAT THE WORLD DOES IT FOR THEM FOR FREE. AND IT IS THERE... BUT THEY LAZY EXCEPT EYES THAT THEY CANNOT AFFORD, BUT THIS IS JUST LIKE A THERAPIST/SURGEON/ASTRO-PHYSICIST CANNOT FIX, ALL THEY NEED IS A GOOD SLAP ON THE FACE AN THEY'LL DO IT FOR YOU ANY TIME (THEY'RE PERFECTLY DEPENDENT THAT WAY)

LEO SUNS TAKE THEIR TIME. ALWAYS. BRUTALLY. TOO SLOW. FOR HUMANS. TO READ THEM.

VIRGO SUNS DREAM TOO MUCH, THEY LOOPY BUT WORDS ARENT THEIR FRIENDS ANYMORE (BABY OF THE ZODIAC) BUT THE FCK ARE THEY GONNA GROW UP BELIEVING THEY'RE GOING TO DREAM THAT WAY IF THEIR MOM IS A PIECE OF SHIT THEY THE ONES TO BACK INTO BABY IF THOUGHT TO BE AN THEY AINT (LAZIEST PPL ON EARTH)

LIBRA SUNS DEPEND TOO MUCH, THEY LEARN THE OPPOSITE FROM BEING EVICTED FROM EARTH SINCE THEY LOVE A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ALLAH

SCORPIO SUNS LIE ALL THE TIME, THEIR ALGORITHM ON GOOGLE IS SO SHIT THAT EVEN PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH) LIED TO ALLAH TO CHANGE HIS OWN AGENDA BY CREATING THE WORLD ABOUT HIM FOR HIM AND TOO MUCH THAT HE IS ACTUALLY THE DEVIL IN EVERYBODY'S DREAMS AN IT AINT EVEN THERAPY ANYMORE IF UR MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING HIM IN UR SLEEP TO CALM U DOWN

SAGITTARIUS SUNS DONT CARE.

CAPRICORN SUNS FORGET THEIR WORLD TOO SERIOUSLY THAT THE SECOND THEY GET BACK UP FROM THEIR TIME IN HAWAII WHICH IS LIKE THEIR SEXUAL PERSONA IF THEY HATE YOU OR ELSE ITS A RESORT FOR LIL SUNS THEY SEE AROUND TOWN, THEN THEY KNOW THEY KNEW YOU TOO FINE THAT THEY HATE TIME TO BE YOU BUT THATS WHERE THE HYPOCRISY LIES BETWEEN NOW AND NEVER

AQUARIUS SUNS BELIEVE YOU BUT HELL NOW EVEN SAG SUNS AND MARS HATE TIME TO BE YOU, SO WHATS THE FCKIN POINT IN BEING ALIVE RN OR... END IT??? JUS... NOW... NOT EVEN THERE... YOU ... THE.. NEW ARIES???? NOW???? DID... ASTROLOGY.. JUST BREAK FOR THEM???????? GODS DAMN

PISCES SUNS ARE TOO LETHAL TO EXIST, LIKE FORGET YOU KNOWING LEE PACE'S BIRTHDAY, PLACE OF BIRTH AN HIS ENTIRE WIKIPEDIA MEMORISED TO YOUR HEART, LIKE YOU'RE AN ANGEL TO DEVISE A WORLD WITH HIM AN NOT AGAINST HIM CUZ OF 'THE OTHER WOMAN', LIKE THEY'RE OKAY WITH THE WORLD 'BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO CHUCK, YOU'RE DEAD' PERSONALITY COMES IN, AND YOU'RE PHYSICALLY DEAD BY THE ADMIRATION, JUST SO YOU KNOW. THEY'RE LETHAL TO BE AROUND WITH THAN THE LATTER SO BEWARE THAT CHUCK CUTIE NEXT TO THEM WHO KNOWS YOU DEEPLY THAN ANYBODY BUT THAT IS NOT EVEN IT, THEY KNEW BUT THEY'LL NEVER STOP KNOWING EVEN IF IT MEANT THE LIFE OF THEM KNOWING YOU KNOWN.

[solardick]

Portents are strong today. A soider a dove, teo geese, and a criw all in sync. With present happenings. One after the other.

But, i don’t think those pills are working. Not today.

I saw a pretty girl today. She has those eyes. Those. Intense peircing eyes. That i like. And she has a turn on. Its her neck. I can tell. The guy was too much. I wuestion if he was flirting. But she thought. No. As she seemed to measure me up. I want to go back and ask her what she thi ks about god.

I deal with people like this all day. He says. Have you ever had a hard on when you take a shit? Like it touches the right spot. And you get turned on?

….. no nate ive never had a hard on taking a shit before. Jesus fuck. Had a prostate test done once. Where’s the hype? I think they think i have sexula identity issues. Nope. Last i checked i have a penis.

Ok. Spider on my boot. Running late. Go figure Aries season. Hot tempers. Get a lift and some bite to eat. Two geese fly by. As one walks up to the door. Comes back to say something immoral. And light a smoke. Crow goes by. As he goes back in the teo geese fly by but, not together.

The dove was an after effect it seems. There she was. Perched on the lines slender and soft. I said hello. Or hey dove. And she hoowed back. Maybe that was coincende without the magic. Its was neat though. Cause she looked.

But my new coleage is taken out. And now. There’s literally no one i want to work with stick with these asshole saying bs. Like the above. Or the complete opposite. Oh yeah im the shit i get so much pussy. 🙄 or the other guy cursing and swearing all fucken day. Foot uo uour ass this my foot up your ass that. Fucken cocksuker. Fuck this fuck that. What you prettending to be my father? Suprise gifts in the van im supposed to unload found by someone else. Ugh. Day in day out. Its kike they’re not even trying anymore.

Well i guess ibs is out.

Start lookign for another job i guess. Not like i’ll fond one. But, maybe.

I dont force my words on anyone. People like trouble. Cause they tet to act and be superior. Rightious. Or so crap like that. I dont know. I cant think like that. Goes agaisnt instinct. And if i was involved i’d be like thouse better people who sit by and watch without intent. Half of them are criminal. Yup. Thats life. And that right! I get it. I sense it. Never relished always apart. Over 20 years. I was raised in this. Bred in one direction. Someone else’s. Maybe thats why god talks to me. Its the only real relationship i have. Not a trace if me seeing anything destructive or ill intent on. With concern about tossing my butt on the ground and not putting it in my pocket. Even though im conflicted cause i smoke. And alot of these portents all speak around quitting smoking. And, they keep fucken woth me. Controling output.

That was nice though. A few solid seconds of hard eye contact. Got to keep the tempo low. Bass. Its in the tone. Not really having one. More like static.

When the mind goes into this state. And life is found in these words. And not corrupted out by bs. But they keep on me. And keep bronging it back. Wasting my time. Year after year.

🤷🏻‍♂️ if you talk to nature. Nature talks back. None of these people get that. My family didnt get it either. Neither did anynof my friends. My enemies…. I took anpicturenof the clouds on the opposite side of the eclipse. Wanna see? If you havent already.

Taken at 3:33 pm or 15:33 pm. As time has its own rule to add to the cards.

Over the constelations of Cepheus across to the star Polaris. Below is draco the dragon hovering over the parking lot. What used to do is try and fond connections in mythology. To describe the constelations or add life to its. Pluralized. You wouldn’t use a plural for it. Could say them. But, it’s not a person.

Like type a search.

Well thats not true.

I found a missing word in our language. Its so obvious. Maybe that comes woth learning a new alphabet and different grammar. Thats cool. Still. Wheres my word? I dont want to personalize portents or omens. Yin and yang. Personalize objects. Maybe its a cause of mental illness having an incomplete language. Sundenly tripping balls on gods knows what. And stuff starts coming alive and speaking. Cartons have onjects and furniture alive with personalilities maybe that a reason as to why that word foesnt exist. Its all in the control of the fantasy.

And i dont have the strength or the courage to leave. Ao just keep fucken with me.

But its great. I get to yell at someone all day. While they say. Yeah, no, it’s ok.

Liar.

[alba8688]

Chapter 5

Word count:1166

Ever since i found out Eddie wasn’t dead and was in a coma in Hawkins hospital I've gone to visit him every single day at the hospital right after school .

I spend a few hours with him then  go back home and spend the rest of my time with Eddie's ghost or spirit whatever he was .

He hasn't disappeared from me anymore .

Now he follows me around even to school .

"So don't you get bored being here with me at work?" I asked Eddie  I was on my lunch break and I had told Claire I was staying in to grade test but in reality I just wanted to spend time with Eddie .

"Honestly I don't but you're the only that can see me and tolerates me All i know is that when I'm not with you is like I don't exist ,but when I'm with you ,you make me feel alive you make me want to keep going to fight for my life .But sometimes I want to give up I've gone to the hospital and tried to go inside my body to see if I wake up but nothing ."he stands up from the desk he was sitting in and walks over to me kneeling down ."I-I can't do this alone Ari." He looks at me with those beautiful eyes .

"Are you asking me for help ?"

"Look you have two realities to choose from first one being a freak metalhead coming to your life in a very unconventional way and he happens to need your assistance the second one is that your a crazy hot teacher talking to yourself in your classroom ."I chuckled at the second one

"I think I prefer the first one ."

"Ok ,it's settled, you're gonna help me wake up ." He stands up and sits on the desk picking up a pencil .

He was getting better at that and it scared me because what if that meant that we were losing him.

"So you think I'm hot ?" I asked him shyly

"Yes,super you burn me just by being next to you ." He exaggerates

"Oh come on Eddie I'm not that hot ."

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't lie to you ." He knelt down in front of me again .

I felt my heart start beating faster and if it weren't because Eddie was a ghost I would have closed the gap between us and I hate to be the one to ruin the moment right now but I have too,because I know if someone walks in I'm gonna look fucking weird staring at nothing with heart for eyes.

"Eddie ." I said softly ,I want to ruin the moment but Eddie kept getting closer and closer to me. Our faces were inches away. If he was here for real I would have felt his breath on my face but all I felt was that tingling sensation.

"Hmm." He hummed looking down at my lips ,the tension was growing and I really wanted to kiss him .But I knew it wasn't possible .

"You have very pretty eyes ." I told

Him again for the millionth time

"So ,I've heard ." He whispers

"Do you want to get out of here early and go visit you ?" Yeah I had to ruin the moment

"Yeah, let's go ." He gets up suddenly and disappears leaving me in my classroom alone finally able to breathe .

At the hospital

"Eddie." I whispered, yelled, opening the door to Eddie's room in the hospital.

"I'm here ." He responds ,I close the door behind me and walk slowly over to Eddie's bed where he is still unconscious.

But no sign of Eddie's ghost or soul I don't know what to call him .

"Eddie."I whispered again

"Here ." I heard him again

"Where are you ?" I whispered

"I'm Here ." I looked around the room inside the restroom but no signs of Eddie .

"For the love of God Eddie, stop hiding !!" I whispered yelled again

"I'm not hiding ." He suddenly sits up ,he was inside his body .

"Jesus Christ !! " I covered my mouth

"Sorry I was trying to wake me up ." He says looking down at his body .

"No luck ?" I ask ,seeing the obvious that Eddie's body was still there unconscious .

"No." He huffs standing up next to his bed and looking down at his body.

"I need to find a way to put myself together again." He suddenly says

"Ok, great, how do we do that ?" I asked confused

I really want to help but I have no idea how .

"Maybe if I do this again ." He lays down again inside his body

I turn to the screen next to me to check this heartbeat and I see something different .

"I think something is happening, I think it is working!" I said excitedly

"Yeah." Eddie stands up from his body and looks at me then at the machine "No ,I don't think so let me try again ." He lays back down on his body .

"Ok ,this time really focused inside there okay ." I tell him, trying to  help him however I can .

Eddie starts moving his arms up and down but nothing happens .

Why is it so hard to wake up?

"Is not working I'm Not sticking is like I'm

No longer connected to this body ." He sighs frustrated.

Suddenly I get idea.

"Alright ,alright ok turn around ." I tell Eddie

"What ?" He asked

"I-I just wnat to tried something."

He raised a brow and turned around facing the window ."Are you gonna jerk me off ?"

"Eddie ,no just don't turn around okay ."

I lean down touching his hand caressing it with my thumb rubbing small circles ..

"I can feel That." He says looking down at his hand then turning around .

"Ok,don't turn around yet !!"

"Okay ,okay if you need a minute with my body just tell me ." He chuckles

"You're such a perv ." I lean down slowly, my heart beating loudly in my chest ..

"What are you doing ?" He asked annoyedly but I didn't respond and leaned down until my lips touched his cheek pecking it  .

"I-I felt that ." He touches his cheek and spins around to look at me.

"You see you're still connected to your body."

"But the monitor doesn't agree ." He says his hand is still brushing his cheek where I peck his cheek .

"Machines don't know everything Eddie ." I walked slowly towards him.

"Then why am I not waking up ?" He looks down at his hand

"I don't know Eddie but I know that right now we are having this conversation and I know there's hope ."

Eddie steps closer to me, his hand slowly raising, wanting to touch my skin..

I leaned in closing my eyes trying to feel his warmth but all I feel is the tingling sensation..

"Thank you for helping me ." I open my eyes and look at him.

"It's my pleasure Eddie ."

"I think I'm gonna stay here for a bit longer ." He tells me

"I'll see you at the apartment ."

Next chapter

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

6:39 pmpdt 13 fe bru ar y 2023 Monday

(7:16 pmpdt Part 2)

6:40 pmpdt I have been rejected 🙅‍♀️ a lot all my life. It doesn’t take much to mess up a first impression. Sometimes my shyness & inadequacy if social skills & sometimes it was not being able to respond in a timely fashion to someone did it/annoyed? Triggered a bad response. I probably can blame that on my learning disability: left brain 🧠 working slower than the right, which is probably bcz I hit that side a lot more than the right side. 6:45 pmpdt for some reason I was rejected 🙅‍♀️ a lot. & I do blame myself. And b4 2017, I think it was then that I tried to catch on quicker & try to adapt to the idea 💡 of accepting rejection & to leave people alone who didn’t want me around. 6:48 pmpdt a girl knows when a man doesn’t want her. Although incubus sometimes made it harder to tell ≈2017??& last 5 years???? But it’s very clear now. Trying to gain clarity. Pain can do that. Make it easier when it feels like near death ☠️ experience & everything starts to look like a lie. 6:51 pmpdt I don’t anticipate that the world 🌎 will change. I think 🤔 they are too much about control. So much, that they don’t want anymore population growth & they like it when people prematurely die & suffer. I am thinking about assisted suicide. 6:53 pmpdt

6:57 pmpdt tattoos are no longer romantic to me. I think 🤔 they do it more for themselves. Something about a painful way to get a tan. Incubus said. 6:58 pmpdt tattoos lose romance when it’s ambiguous. & a lie. Lion 🦁. 6:59 pmpdt he probably heals supernaturally fast like Superman so I don’t think bleeding 🩸 is a problem for him. 7 pmpdt maybe 🤔 it’s not even made with needles?? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

7:16 pmpdt Thomas Jefferson (heifer = cow 🐮?) last year I opened up my breaking bread Bible (manga ish style illustrations white cover) my mom bought for me ≈2017/2018 bcz I was starting to read the Bible seriously (I only randomly opened it up very few times b4 then & read a few lines each time?) . She had the excuse that she didn’t want me becoming confused? Confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ it dead has a lot of explanations.last year I randomly opened it up (autocorrect said started deleting 7:22 pmpdt what are they deleting 🥺😭😖😭😱????) to Jeremiah & slavery & the sacrificial cow 🐮. I am year of ox 🐂. Which might also be called cow 🐮. I am also Aries ♈️ = ram 🐏/lamb (r= L sound Japanese 🇯🇵) my moms name has Abel in it. ... my name might be Jesus actual name. & transliteration of chavah w/Greek letter nu. Hosanna in the highest. Yeshua Nick name. I might be a sacrifice for the renewing of the covenant of god & a sign 🪧 that nothing is going to change. It will continue like b4. You will have to 4give people like garrido, Jaycee dugard’s kidnapper & rapist, bcz he does what god incubus wants him to do. 7:29 pmpdt

7:43 pmpdt how do I connect the dots to sacrificial cow 🐮 & Jeremiah? (😖😭 right heel pain 7:44 pmpdt) my (different) cousin & sis are leo ♌️ (satan/devil? is said to be a hungry lion 🦁 looking for someone to devour? Devil 👿 comes to steal, destroy & kill? Klove radio 📻) not saying that they are devil. It’s symbolic. Same bdays. That cousin, name is Jeremy. & he was formerly a policeman 👮‍♂️. 7:47 pmpdt my sister’s name has “Die” in it. My older half sister is also Leo ♌️. And incubus has been bugging me a lot & giving a lot of signs 🪧. Using stuff I drew. The sun 🌞 tattoo near his shoulder looks almost identical to something I drew in high school 🏫 & I oddly chose to throw it away even though I usually hold onto a lot of my drawings. & if you know my bday, then you know. 7:51 pmpdt

8 pmpdt 8:01 incubus captioned in his Instagram picture for the “wait” 2nd music video using Snapchat “work smart not hard” hence lying 🤥 can get the job done ✅? Reverse psychology he somehow put that in front of my face in 2017. 8:03 pmpdt stroh said “in plain sight” was it? 8:04 pmpdt which is why I don’t believe in heaven, only Sheol now. Which was introduced recently. With in last 2 years. 8:05 pmpdt

8:36 pmpdt he likes to do what is easy & deceive. I’m always being punished. He already said he would never touch me/ sleep 😴 with me/ have s*x w/me. “I can’t I just fucking can’t” was it? He doesn’t like ugly girls. He knows all the social ques to make himself look 👀 good. He went to French woods arts 🎭 acting school 🏫. He’s an actor. He showed himself to me when I lived in blossom hill. He showed me he hated me. He seemed to halfway reenact it w/an old man on an Instagram post w/a caption? His disgust was palpable. He’s actually talking about his own feelings about me. But in the picture he’s smiling- opposite of what I saw 👀 in person. & he’s giving the bird to the viewer. Bcz I’m slavery covenant sacrifice, I’m fucked. I’m also fucked Bcz I’m being burned to death ☠️. My arm is red. They scorched 🥵 my back & side. They are vicious. I did not rape or premeditate murder. I think 🤔 they don’t like me Bcz I mayb was a little too greedy w/ food & I gave my aunt a hard time. They encourage people to keep quiet rather than complain. I was thin most of my life & petite but I guess it isn’t enough. Once when I was on a college bus 🚌 I felt like they were telling me I took up too much space. I’ve been told I look anorexic b4. & twice I lost a lot of weight in 2014 & 2019? I was probably under 95 pounds each time- guessing 2014. 8:52 pmpdt they have torn away almost all of my hip bones 🦴. So I think it is best to have assisted suicide like behati’s T-shirt says. W/ her tongue 👅 sticking out & an x formed w/ her arms over her vag. Sitting on the bed. Instagram picture. It’s really going to happen. 8:55 pmpdt bcz they didn’t let me see who was kissing me I’m guessing it was a gigolo assistant. Otherwise why put it online for me to realize after the fact? He lies all the time Bcz it’s easy for him. Detached. 8:57 pmpdt I would have really liked a happy ending. Like he kept dangling in front of my face w/ false promises. Like a donkey. Behati lied 🤥 to me too . Waiting for water to boil. David dowd boil. Beloved = boil. Susan boy-les/boiles. 9 pmpdt burning 🔥 my flesh means I won’t heal. 9 pmpdt he put I didn’t cheat on my wife but I crossed a line. That I guess was for me about the gigolo assistant kiss 💋 with my eyes 👀 closed. My eyes 👀 had to be closed Bcz it wasn’t him. 9:06 pmpdt

9:07 pmpdt I don’t remember much anymore. I gave my aunt a hard time sometime after my cousin punched me & I lost my job soon after which was a year. My former boss was very kind to me giving me chances. 9:08 pmpdt

9:42 pmpdt the him you saw in concert snobbish the fan who jumped on stage to give him a hug recently is probably closer to his real personality- a guess. (Blood spurt blood 🩸 9:43 pmpdt)

9:45 pmpdt lion 🦁 babies need cow 🐮 to eat. 9:46 pmpdt

Kiss 💋 of death ☠️ 9:47 pmpdt

9:49 pmpdt I look 👀 sick & tired 😴. Hospitals 🏥 avoid helping me as much as possible. I’ve been starving for oxygen, started having breathing difficulties mid 2019. Everyone ignored my breathing problems until recently. Felt like I was dying every time I can’t breathe. A lot of suffering. They don’t care 🤷🏻‍♀️ for me to have a painless death ☠️ they made it very painful everyday since summer 2017 & made me crazy enough to burn myself in 2017/2018. 9:54 pmpdt & starve myself again since end of 2017? (10:07 pmpdt year change) beginning 2018. 9:55 pmpdt everytime I eat now they drain me of blood 🩸 & feed me vinegar probably. I look anemic under my eyes 👀 w/ dark circles? They heat me up all the time so I can’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ again . 9:57 pmpdt & they brain 🧠 washed me last year & 2017 using my mom possessing her to tell me lies that the incubus loves me as if she had personal meetings with him. & then he wipes away her memory of it. They are very cruel. It’s their brand of reverse psychology, woo me to kill me. Black widow spider 🕷 scorpion 🦂 praying 🙏 mantis. 10:01 pmpdt. They constantly flip flop 🩴 since 2001? It seems. But it’s now increased Bcz I’m close to death ☠️ boiling pot of water & frog 🐸. They had a back story that kept changing to support the tolerance of the flip flopping. 10:03 pmpdt but I had came to the realization that to flip flop 🩴 means to admit that they’re lying 🤥 & to normalize it. Lying 🤥 = double crossing. Cross a line then cross back over. = death ☠️ 10:05 pmpdt

10:08 pmpdt most of my life I’ve been alone. Rarel/occasionally saw grandparents on either side & cousins & aunts & uncles. Rarely talked too. (Incubus pricking tongue 👅 tip & heart ♥️ pain 10:10 pmpdt they don’t have sympathy 🫂 for me. 10:11 pmpdt)

10:54 pmpdt I need to cough to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ & each time I tried to cough they stabbed my brain 🧠 w/ many spikes covering the top of my brain 🧠 which is very painful 😖 & makes a full cough difficult. They made me vomit 🤮 minutes ago & now making me more nauseous. They like to torment torture me every day. Then they did the acid sand paper again.

the tricycle thing I really think 🤔 I went slow. They made me doubt myself w/ a deep fake edit. But how does an adult go fast in a tricycle not meant for adults? 11:01 pmpdt makes me think he really hurt the kid w/magic to make it feel worse than it would have felt w/o. They’re going to kill me now. 22;02 11:02 pmpdt

11:03 pmpdt Scott watched history channel in his bedroom & I watched Hitchcock’s the birds 🦅 in his room with him bcz he wanted me to even though I don’t like scary movies. Birds = pestilence = apocalypse birds 🦅 = acid eating 🍽 my brain 🧠 11:06 pmpdt. Nick lived on cassiar-> cassieopia constellation 🌌 serendipity movie 🎥 Kate beckinsale smoking 🚬 w/ her. Katty. Brain 🧠 damage? Deprivation? Etc they’re probably going to do that to me now. More tortures death ☠️ 11:09 pmpdt

11:11 pmpdt I’m wide awake Katy Perry’s. I have been to the (brain digging into tissue of brain 🧠😱😖😭😫😩 feels like they destroyed tissue 11:14 pmpdt) Phillipines when I was 7 years old , 13 years old , & 2012, 2018. Long distance calls were expensive. Comcast had a very limited plan that’s easy to go over & be charged a lot. 11:17 pmpdt all my relatives usually didn’t speak English. They did a little bit & but would often say they are embarrassed of their English. I did not learn much of either dialect my mom spoke. I think they destroyed a significant portion of my brain 🧠 & knowing their pattern they will keep doing it. 222 this is the apocalypse Sean of the dead ☠️ zombies 🧟‍♀️ 11:22 pmpdt when I tried to learn Japanese I forgot a lot even though I was practicing a lot. 11:23 pmpdt yeah, he (#3 mins ago don’t want to get up 11:24 pmpdt) lied 🤥 about loving me. He thinks I am ugly. I don’t have children 👶. Incubus doesn’t love me. It’s weird how easily he can flop flip flop 🩴. It’s easier to pretend when he lives 500 miles away. He probably gets nauseous & gags & shakes off (tummy ache torture 11:28 pmpdt) something dirty when he thinks of me. 11:28 pmpdt

11:35 pmpdt karas flowers 💐 we like digging ? I feel like I am missing part of my brain 🧠 this is not good. 11:36 pmpdt incubus is smiling = death ☠️ shi Japanese Japan 🇯🇵 Chinese 🇨🇳. My head was probably already smashed in a lot from the top 🔝 & the sides. I remember it hurt a lot. But they want me to believe it wasn’t bad. It hurt & I felt like a weirdo afterwards. They don’t want to empathize. 11:39 pmpdt they want to kill me now slowly torturesly. 11:40 pmpdt

11:45 pmpdt I wonder 💭 how dumb Nick thought 💭 I was. He probably thought I was retarded. What tummy ache 😖 I wonder hot 🥵 hot hot 🥵 if he was able to fit a game with out losing any graphing capabilities. 11:48 pmpdt incubus really hates me. If someone can tell me if Melissa Cuen is in Sunday morning at the table with the blonde 👱‍♀️ at the beginning that would be great 👍. 11:50 pmpdt job yob 408. Juke box cds 💿. 11:50 pmpdt

1:

11:52 pmpdt I don’t expect to win. But if he’s going to do this to me then why not? 11:53 pmpdt

1 ichi chi Qi blood 🩸/life force bleed 🩸 11:54 pmpdt

11:55 pmpdt I might have also tried yoga 🧘🏻‍♀️ in 2006 for the first time in community college. 11:56 pmpdt I wonder 💭... if it’s not a coincidence... I really feel like I’m missing a big part of my brain 🧠😰😭 11:57 pmpdt

in 2008 I had a project that I played the guitar 🎸 & made up my song 🎵 & played it in class last minute idea 💡 my hands 🙌 were oozing body fluid from eczema probably. I didn’t feel great. Originally I was going to make a video but I couldn’t think of what to do. (I hate you incubus 12 am pdt) I don’t expect to live. With the way it’s going. I really don’t like doing presentations in front of the class. Always. Kindergarten hiding behind my rain coat 🧥 when I hung it up 🆙. So I turned all the chairs 🪑 around, so I don’t have to see their eyes 👀 & they don’t have to see me. It was like a radio 📻 experience. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if anyone remembers. I m guessing no one cares. It’s ok. I don’t expect to get anything from anyone. 12:04 am pdt

12:06 am pdt usually I get very nervous. Even if I have to sit in. My seat 💺 & answer a question 🙋🏻‍♀️ I sometimes got shaky. 12:07 am pdt

12:10 am pdt I would rather have my all my bones 🦴 & health than anything.

[jdgo51]

DAILY DEVOTIONAL FOR JANUARY 17, 2023

Immanuel

By Aris A. Román Silva (Puerto Rico)

READ LUKE 24:13-35

"When I look up at your skies, at what your fingers made — the moon and the stars . . . what are human beings that you pay attention to them?"

PSALM 8:3-4 (CEB)

"One night as I was brushing my hair before going to bed, I saw a reflection of the full moon in the mirror. Remembering Psalm 8, I felt a sense of well-being and peace. I went to the window to admire the moon but saw only the tree in my garden, its branches and leaves blocking the moonlight. I turned toward the mirror and the radiant reflection was still there. Looking out the window again, I searched intently to pinpoint the exact opening or space where the moonlight was coming through. Only darkness filled the garden. I could not see the moon even though I was sure I was looking in the right direction.

I thought about the story in the Gospel of Luke about the two disciples and their encounter with Jesus on the Emmaus road. Wrapped up in their grief, they did not recognize the stranger who joined them. Just as I could not see the moon directly but saw its reflection, sometimes I forget that God is always there." Even when our circumstances cloud our vision, God will be there to walk beside us." Different factors may obscure our view, but we can know God is there to guide you through it. The light is there all the time. When we temporarily cannot see it, we just have to grab hold of God and move into the situation to find God's help.

TODAY'S PRAYER

"Living God, open our eyes and grant us the wisdom to discern your presence. Thank you for never leaving us alone." Amen.

Luke 24:13-35

New International Version

On the Road to Emmaus

"'13 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles[a] from Jerusalem. 14 They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him.

17 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. 18 One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

19 “What things?” he asked.

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. 20 The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; 21 but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. 22 In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning 23 but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. 24 Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”

25 He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

28 As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. 29 But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

33 They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together 34 and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” 35 Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread. "' After it was said and done, All was well with these people.. Pray for a need and bathe is in your prayers.