#i often forget just how much i miss stimming until i'm doing it and it brings so much joy to me

[touhoutivations]

"You! Hey, yes you!" "Why aren't you dancing and jumping up and down with glee? Allow yourself some darn whimsy- wiggle your hands, go tippy tappy with your ankles, hum something, anything! You should never be ashamed of how you express joy, no matter how 'cringe' people make you think you are."

"So c'mon! I've got a new solo I wanna test out on this awesome swing piece I've been working on, so vibe and jive~! Now a-one and a-two and a five six seven eight!"

[starlitiris]

making the phantom troupe ✨ neurodivergent ✨

before getting into this I wanna say that i'm not including Kalluto, Hisoka or Illumi in this and I didn't add Kortopi, Bonolenov or Franklin cause I didn't know what to do for them </3

and! a handful of these neurdivergencies are things I also have, but if any of you have something mentioned here and you feel like I misrepresented the condition/got something wrong, please let me know and correct me!

i'd also love to hear what your guys' neurodivergent/disorder headcanons are for the phantom troupe PLEASE do not be shy

okay enough yapping, here are the headcanons

Nobunaga

ADHD out the ass

Bro can and will zero in on something aggressively and not realize how much time has passed till his stomach growls or someone else gets his attention

Almost ALWAYS forgets what he walked into a room for and sometimes won’t be able to remember for hours

He zones out a lot when Troupe members are trying to explain something to him that he has zero interest in

CHRONIC LEG BOUNCER

And foot tapper

He also does little bouncies when he’s standing around

Please don’t ever give him a pen that clicks

He’ll click it nonstop and won’t even realize he’s doing it until someone brings attention to it

He for sure has his moments where he's feeling extra irritable or anxious for seemingly no reason

Feitan

AUTISM OUT THE ASS

No, I’m not headcanoning this because he’s apathetic

Miss me w that shit

He’s just an apathetic person because of everything he’s been through

Not great at masking but he does mask

HATES being touched do NOT TOUCH HIM ew

Exclusively wears long sleeves. Cannot stand short sleeved shirts, he hates the way it feels on his arms

Misses a lot of emotional social cues and his apathetic nature certainly doesn’t help with that but it’s not like he cares much

The Troupe is used to him being like this so they aren’t too bothered

Thinks he looks fucking stupid when he stims so he tries not to unless he’s completely alone

He will let loose a LIIITTLE when he’s alone with just Phinks though since those two are pretty close but he still tries to make his stimming as non-obvious as possible

It also helps for him to stim with his hands in his pockets

He often taps his thumb and index finger together or rubs his knuckles

REALLY hates feeling cold and can't stand the sticky feeling of dried blood on his skin

Despite this, he rarely wears gloves when he's "working" simply because he no no wanna

Phinks HAS called him out on this. A few times.

Machi

Dyslexic

Hates it

So much

Seriously doesn’t understand why she can’t just fucking READ and SPELL as easily as everyone else

Like she KNOWS how to read and spell so like???? WHY does she even struggle with it it should be such an easy thing to do

That’s how she thinks

She gets embarrassed when people catch her struggling to read or spell something

It makes her feel dumb and she hates it :[

Thank god for ai assistants like siri and shit

She definitely uses them to ask how to spell things when no one else is around and she can’t remember

Gets kinda pissed at herself when she realizes way too late that she made a typo on something

Phinks

Prosopagnosia (face blindness) and aphantasia (when you can’t form mental images in your head)

Thought his aphantasia was completely normal for THE LONGEST time

He almost didn’t believe it when other Troupe members were telling him that they could clearly form mental images in their heads

It was a huge “what the fuck” moment for him

The amount of times he’s heard the phrase “you don’t remember me?” just cause he couldn’t recognize someone by their face alone

Of course he’s still able to recognize people from their voices, clothes, hair, body shapes, etc

But when it comes to people he doesn’t see often, he’s completely lost until he’s told the person’s name and where they met and shit

He’s offended quite a few people by not recognizing them

They assume he couldn’t be bothered to remember them but in reality he probably would if he could remember faces

Shalnark

He has bipolar 1

His mania doesn’t get too crazy but it’s noticeable for the Troupe and any other people that he spends a lot of time with

His highs tend to be more intense than his lows but he definitely still has his lows

And the lows are also noticeable

He gets bags under his eyes from having a difficult time falling asleep and STAYING asleep, and he has a very clear decrease in energy

Sometimes Troupe members feel the need to ask him if he’s feeling alright but he always answers with “yeah I’m fine!” and moves on

The amount of shit he's bought on impulse though

He's good at managing his finances until he's manic and sees something he wants

Bro won't look at price tags

"Ehh I'm sure it'll be fine!" two days later he's in the red and goes complaining to Troupe members about it as if he shouldn't have expected that

It's probably a good thing that his role in the Troupe is more centered around gathering information and not combat

I know damn well he'd get too cocky in a fight depending on wtf his brain chemistry is doing

Shizuku

Do i even need to say it

Bitch (respectfully) is autistic as hell

With some good ol’ ADD sprinkled in there

Her attention span suffers greatly

She can pick up a book or a manga and not put it down to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom until she finishes it or is forced to put it down

She knows it’s a problem and she really does try to remember to take breaks

Very blunt as we all know

Feitan will struggle to pick up on sarcasm SOMETIMES and uses sarcasm himself

This is not the same for Shizuku

Sarcasm does not register in her brain

She tried using sarcasm once and didn’t do it right so she gave up

She does try to mask a little bit in some situations but mostly doesn’t care enough to

Doesn’t mind stimming in front of people as much as Feitan does but she still does it a lot more in private

Pakunoda

Bipolar 2

Her depressive episodes feel longer than they are

She’s gotten a lot better at managing it as she’s gotten older though

She likes to journal her feelings when she can, it personally helps her process and deal with her emotions

She also writes reminders for herself and sets alarms so she doesn’t forget to take care of herself when she’s not feeling too well

Makes sure to praise herself for small victories! :)

She still has her days where she can’t bring herself to do some things, though days like those are less common now than they used to be

Her appetite definitely suffers because her depression, but the reminders and alarms she sets help her remember to eat, even if it has to be something small

She makes sure to get some self care in when she can, too. It's important to her

Uvogin

I hereby bestow thee with dyscalculia and OCD

Being anal about doing things at specific times is only a tiny sliver of his OCD-ness

Sometimes he’ll read the time on a clock wrong and he’ll panic for like 0.2 seconds

It fuckin stresses him out man

Sometimes he’ll tease Machi for having a hard time reading or forgetting how to spell/write a word and she’ll hit him with the “ok what’s 12 x 12 🧍”

Shuts him up real quick

He can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide but it still takes him a minute sometimes

He’ll just give up if he has to do math with fractions, decimals, numbers longer than three digits and any other complicated bullshit

He kinda gave up learning math when it started to literally give him headaches trying to figure it out so simple division and multiplication is as far as he cared to learn

If he’s faced with any math equation that intimidates him he will not even try

He just uses his phone or asks someone else to solve it for him

Okay back on the topic of OCD

He definitely has his repetitive movements that he does

They aren’t too obvious but the rest of the Troupe does notice them from time to time

Nobunaga said something about it one time and Uvo just brushed it off and changed the subject

He doesn’t like bringing attention to it

He also WILL recount and reread things multiple times

Most of the time he’ll only need to recount/reread something like 3-5 times but on bad days he’ll do it 10+ times

It is stressful

Phinks saw him recounting something like 13 times once and was like “bro u good?” and Uvo just snapped at him for fucking up his count

Chrollo

Autism and major depressive disorder

Masking KING (this is not a good thing)

Very touch avoidant like Feitan

He knows he struggles with some social cues and interactions and will sometimes overthink what he’s doing to avoid missing things or doing things wrong

He’s often hyper aware of what he’s doing and what the person he’s talking to is doing

One of his most common ways to stim is by rubbing things - like the corners of pages in his books, or the ends of his sleeves

Loathes being in loud areas. Please why is everyone talking so loud shut the fuck up Chrollo can’t hear himself think

There’s been times where he had to be in loud and bustling places for extended periods of time and once he was alone and in a quiet place he’d feel so so very drained and be nonverbal for hours

Really bad insomnia probably related to his MDD

Lays in bed for HOURSSSS unable to fall asleep

The amount of times he’s had to run on 2-3 hours of sleep is unreal

Listening to calm music and whale noises seems to help him fall asleep a little bit though

Don’t get me wrong he has good days, he’s not completely miserable, but MAN is this guy depressed

On bad days he’ll likely only have one meal or not eat at all

Phantom Troupe be damned if they notice he hasn’t eaten all day

Chrollo will insist he’s fine but some Troupe members aren’t having it

Sometimes someone like Paku or Shal will just go out and get him some food and place it in front of or next to him expectantly

Usually he’ll give up and eat the food

Unless he’s in a bad mood

I will say though, most days he eats at least two meals so it’s not like this is a super common occurrence