#i needed more Enrichment in my life so i've been growing my plants and playing my video games and a bunch of other stuff

[wildegeist]

ok

What to expect: I'm probably going to queue up some of the art I've done over my break from here when I feel like it and repost old pieces I still wanna have here. But I'm taking my time and I'll probably not be at the same activity level I used to have since I've had Priorities(tm) lately. Most if not all reblogs will end up on @dirgewoods.

What's been going on: ... ☝️ My mental health and relationship with my work has admittedly not been the best the last several months, despite how good I am at being in denial! But I feel like I'm getting my spark back because I had some very big breakthroughs recently. I even finished some music yesterday, and music's still been hard for me lately (though in the case of music it's just composer's block now). I've been through a lot of drafts of Sableheart's prologue and felt a little discouraged over that too, but I finally came at it from the perfect angle recently after taking a break from writing to focus on myself more for a little bit. I actually ironed out the parts of the script that I was having the hardest time writing. For the first time in a while I'm feeling a little good about my work again.

I'm still not exactly sure what happened, my self-esteem just suddenly got very bad, probably the worst it's been, and stuck around a lot longer than I ever expected it to. It's actually been going on since around the end of last year/beginning of this one. It's still lingering just a tad, but I've made enough progress to get my footing back. I'm up and running again

[maliciousmalfeasance]

i don't get to walk very much lately

not because im short on time, or lovely places to go- but because my body has been playing a nasty trick on me- or maybe my body is the trick- it all feels like one big, terrible drawn out joke that stopped being funny before it even left the lips of whoever's been telling it over and over for the last 2 years.

Worse yet- I keep falling for it. (ha ha, get it? Because I fall over...) I keep entertaining the idea that it's better now! I'm seeing slight improvements so who knows maybe soon I can pack the shower chair away and never look at it again and I can walk down to the lake and sit there like I did- a week- years ago- eons away from now. It's silly. I see my partner witnessing it, each time. The wind up, the expectation and maybe- even the actual merciful plateau for a while. Enough energy to garden and clean and get a start on the mountain of "when im doing better" tasks that keeps growing and looming in my periphery. And then- I hit the wall again. My body knocks me out and drags me aching and cursing back to bed. I've no idea how long I'll be back at square one.

I haven't been able to go for walks often- is what I'm saying. Which is what has made the few times I have been able to go for walks, so magical. I've been really into moss! Strange fixation to have when there are many more pressing and beautiful things to snatch my attention but I find I keep my eyes down a lot as a general habit (better keep an eye on these feet- you never know where they're going) and I find an inordinate amount of comfort in little tufts of green tucked into the darkest, dankest crevices of suburbia and bush land.

Same goes for lichen, fungi, and just life in general. I've been keeping fish and plants and- maintaining little islands of life is excellent enrichment in my enclosure, I gotta say. I love the reminder that life persists even when I feel so cut off and vulnerable and sick. I love my snails and shrimp and fish. I get disproportionately sad when I can't manage to work on my gardening and fish-keeping projects. Watching shows and movies is still a fun thing to do with others but when I'm by myself it's really lost its lustre. I can't help but associate watching tv with being exhausted and barely functioning at this point because when I'm too tired and unwell to think coherently, I watch something to try and keep myself occupied and awake.

Anyways all this to say- I want to document my walks some more, and my outings in general. With film wherever possible, because this way I can surround myself with images of outside and hope when I'm in this rut again next. Because something tells me this rut is going to remain a frequent stop in my life- might as well make it a nice little rut to get stuck in. My body is forcing a lot of rest on me at the moment. That is what it is. Better not to turn the rest into torture by sucking all the joy out.

I hope your life has opportunities for rest, too. And life! I recommend keeping plants-if you need plant advice I'm no expert but I can try my best. If you can't keep plants alive consider yourself a plant and keep yourself well watered and make sure you get some sun on your leaves and soil on your soles (souls? you heathens.) occasionally.

[avery-allyss]

I guess this could be worse.

The assignment was to create a design based off of one or more creation myths. I have little hints of several because copying something too closely seems redundant. Yes it a bit of a confusing jumble and you need to stretch a lil to pick up all the references, but I like it that way.

Egg shape is from several myths, mainly because my favorite myth is the Finnish creation myth, which is also the source of the duck. I'll get more into that further down in the reflective portion of this post.

The yin/yang base for the devision of the egg is from Asia. The concept is more into the description of the energies, the yang being masculine firey intenseness of light, and the yin being the quite coolness of darkness.

The volcano ang glacier are derived from Norse mythology, and I played with the idea of making some sort of root system in the line separating the two to represent the beginning of yggdrasil.

The reeds and cat are from the native American myth. Something about a Reed carrying the founders through worlds, and loosing a war to cat people? It stuck in my mind.

This is the second time I've ever done print making, the first was over ten years ago and stamping a smaller design on an extra large Tshirt I still use as pjs.

The entire process was a mess.

We had one linoleum panel to work with. We had to carve away each color we wanted to keep.

I started slow because the white and yellow layers were so complicated.

I miss measured the paper size so the back of all four copies are a mess.

I made four copies, and every one had a different mystake. The one showed was the only one that the cat showed up on.

I fucked up carving alot, I just got good at covering it up.

The duck has no bill. I tried to make up for it by giving them an intentional halo, it didn't quite work.

The reeds are too short. This actually gives off a slightly more organic vibe than I was going for. I'm not quite sure if I like it.

One of the sun swirls is broken up a bit because my hand sliped.

The blue layer was off and ended up giving the volcano some highlight. It pops a little until you realize it's out of place, so I don't like it.

Printed red through black in one day, my entire arm hates me still. I had my entire arm tensed to prevent slip ups. It's not so bad right now because my mom told me which med to take today, but I couldn't sleep on that side or my back very well last night. At least I didn't break skin when I stabed myself! I need to lay off crocheting, but that's how I decompress...

I will repost with individual pictures of each copy and the drawing on Monday, that's when the crit is anyway.

What I would do differently

Smaller egg, let the corners interact with each other a bit.

I would play with the idea of white clouds, or white with black highlights.

I would make the sun swirls part of the red gradient. I would also simplify their shape to make them easier to carve.

I would look at different ways to portray the cat. Maybe I would play with the idea of red eyes on the cat. Red claws to represent violence? Cause I'm not going to ever go all in on a horrific portrayal, hints have to do for kitty.

Multi colored and more consistent pebble bed. Maybe mossy rocks or sand with grasses growing in? Seeds? Arthropods to pull in yet another creation myth?

Duck would have a bill and a halo or some sort. There plenty of methods to imitate and explore.

I would play with the idea of defining individual rock structure on the volcano and the small waterfall.

Gemstones on the volcano?

Maybe not even do a volcano, and just make a black dragon on a mountain? Chinese style to keep up with the theme of creation?

Shade the reeds in gradients, maybe make thin red lines to imitate their texture?

Dragonflies by the reeds?

Green layer to add moss and lichen, as well as springtime pigments for the reeds as opposed to fall, can you even marble shades effectively in print making? Green detailing on the cat would start getting Erie.

Yggdrasil roots in the division, multi color highlights on yellow, tiny branch coming around to poke out by the sun?

Grey to black gradient instead of straight black for the outline?

Use a digital painting software instead of actualy carving it all. That's the only way I will play with this image again.

The Finnish Godess of Creaton

Luonnotar

Once the universe was comprised of three things.

There was nothingness, a vast unmeasurable abyss where not even a single star shone. The power of stillness was held in the dark expanse.

There was a river, a mysterious flow of swirling posability. The power and movement of the universe was held in the 'waters'.

And lastly, there was a girl. Luonntar was the daughter of the stillness of the abyss and the power of movement. She was alone, and there was nothing for her to do, no way to express herself, or to release energy, or even just simply enrich her life. She did not know companionship, so she did not know to be lonely. She did not sleep, nor did she truly live. She only felt emptiness. There was no pain to be felt, nor was there joy to be had.

Something changed. Something tightened in Luonntar's chest, as though her heart was hurting. Over another eternity she came to recognize the pain as desire. Into her emptiness had flowed a blind longing. She wanted something but she did not know what there even was to want. She wanted change, but because she never experienced anything but the same river and the same darkness, she had no idea what it was she wanted.

Slowly (as everything so far had), an idea budded in Luonntar's mind, the first idea ever in the universe. She jumped into the river and swam. She did not sink, but floated on the surface, looking back up to the darkness she had left from. This action permanently altered the universe, though seeing how took some more time (of corse). In the meantime the girl relaxed as she drifted through the river.

Then came a duck ((grapes are not involved in this myth stahp)) swimming up to Luonntar. A duck, in a universe where there had only ever been one being, now there were two! With Luonntar's change and wish, she changed the entire universe and a new world was created in which the duck could exist too.

The curious bird swam around the girl looking at the strange other being, the girl laying very still as she did the same. The duck climbed up onto Luonntar's warm knee and sat. Then something else happened, something so beautiful that Luonntar could not believe her eyes.

The duck layed three eggs there upon the goddess' knee because it was the only warm dry place in the entire universe, and the only place the future could hatch.

Luonntar kept so very still, anxious of the fragile life prched upon her knee. The duck warmed her clutch as they grew hotter and hotter as the future drew near.

Luonntar yearned for that future like she had never yearned before, bringing back the dull pain from before. She ignored it.

The eggs grew uncomfortably hot, the ducks featherstickled her, and the bebed feet left tiny scratches on her. She ignored it all.

Suddenly the duck shifted, her feathers tickling Luonntar and she couldn't help but to twitch reflexively. She did not mean to but it was enough. She watched horrified as the eggs tumbled into the river. She berated herself, fearing for the eggs. Would they sink forever out of sight? Would the future be lost?

Instead the eggs broke open. Marvels poured forth. The yolks joined into the sun and rose up into the abyss. The whites became a silver moon, rising as well. The tiny bits of the shells became the stars, scattered disjointed with the rest of the remains of the three eggs. In a world where only darkness had existed, light was born. It was magic.

Luonntar was changed by the magic, as she dove beneath the surface. Something was calling to her from the depths. It was the mud at the bottom. She grabbed handfuls and swam back to the surface. She molded a cone from the mud upon her belly and placed it on the surface of the river. It rose into the sky and became a mountain.

She dived again and again, returning to the surface to mold more new landscapes. She carved veins of rivers through the land, scooping out lakes. The stars watched in fascination. Inspired, they rearranged themselves into designs. The moon learned out to show its changing face to the earth.

As Luonntar built the land, life burst forth. Plants grew, creatures came to be. All life was the children of the new earth. When the goddess rested at long last and looked at the bright sky, the green foliage, and the lively children, she knew it was good.

((Adlibed from "Wild Girls" by Patricia Monaghan))