#i need to rewatch howls and totoro and kiki's and their entire filmography except the sad violent ones
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#animal death#grief#//#idkkk chocolate was 14 and he lived 4 months after we learned he would die soon.#mimi was TWO and he took ill FIVE DAYS before and he couldn't be saved it's just unfair and awful and despicable to take him so young#just last week i posted about him being on the bathroom rug!#just last week he jumped into the library bag!#just last week he was birdwatching and clicking his tongue to let us know there were birds!#just last week he was exploring the christmas tree!#just last week he was perfectly alright as usual!#i need. a dorian grey portrait of my kitties so they will never grow old or sick and instead only the painting will i#i need this new yearly ritual of a cat dying to stop immediately.#i need to stop all feelings i#literally screeching like a banshee but in its original context not a humorous one#i watched whisper of the heart and it's soooo feel good thank god for ghibli#i need to rewatch howls and totoro and kiki's and their entire filmography except the sad violent ones#im gonna make an emogothic mourning playlist and feel shitty and awful and wronged brb#&
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