#i need to draw crocs more since they're hard

[maverickcanine]

4A lavertus and queen crunket

i don't think they were ever able to move on from each other :(

ask game

[espytalks]

Im ready to talk about what happened on sunday. Long post under cut, and to save time, its mostly copy pasted from a convo with a friend, so the tone is a lot more upset than i am now. i added extra thoughts in italics, and fixed typos.

Tldr, i fell into a boat, sustaining minor (but worrying) injuries, and had a big argument with my brother. Everything's fine now.

My brother has a boat, we know friends of the family who has access to a river we can boat on. Hes my brother, i like spending time with him, and he enjoys fishing. Hes super excited about this boat, man. He doesn't have anyone else to hang out with but me, so regardless im kinda pressured to go with him. I want him to be happy, ya know?

And today, we went out, second time ive ever been in a boat, and the truck gets stuck getting the boat in. Not a big deal, we can call my dad later. I have a hard time getting in, but i get in and we have a fun time.

I have severe psoriasis, and the patches on my arms started getting sunburned, so i say we should head back.

Tides low. Man.

He wanted me to get out of the boat. Im fat, man, im short, im not strong. He kept saying i can do it, that i can get out of the boat myself, and that there wasn't any other way, but when i tried, i fell back into the boat, scratching my back and leg enough to draw blood. I landed on my brother, i feel guilty about that cause we were both pinned and i hurt him because of the fall. I barely manage to roll around and get up.

Editing me coming in: i only had his foot pinned. He made it clear when we talked about it that night i didn't hurt him. He was tense at that moment cause we almost capsized, and he was focused on holding the paddle in the water to keep the boat in place, and because of me he couldn't move.

We loose the paddles we needed to push the boat to shore, he uses a fishing rod to reel us towards the paddle, we make it back to a place we could get out, but he still insists i get out first.

I cant, man. Im tired, im still not strong enough, and im scared now, and pissed, and sad, cause falling is one of my biggest fears and it already happened once.

We were actually close to the ramp with the trailer for the boat, so since i couldn't climp up and balance to get on land the hard way, i decided to wade through near waist high water to get to the slope, cause it was easier for me to get out.

Hes pissed. I learned later he heard a gater was in the area, he didn't tell me this info before i jumped in, cause he didn't want me to panic (it would have liked to know that, bro)

Editing again: unrelated but apparently discord has a word limit. Ive never reached it before this point.

I get out, im tired, were both pissed at each other. He wont let me get in the truck to sit down ( i decided to respect this, actually. I coulda said screw you and got in anyways, but i know that woulda been too far)

I sit on the bench, he calls dad to come get me (dad later called me, i gave him more info, and told him the truck was stuck and we needed help) im cold, wet, lost one of my crocs (i have both back, they're fine. Crocs can float, apparently)

We wait for about half an hour or so getting eat up by bugs in the sun and Florida heat.

Dad comes, i get in his truck, dad pulls the truck (and boat, by this point my brother got the boat onto the trailer) out of the water. My brother hands me my stuff, and dad and i leave.

I feel guilty leaving my brother to himself to wrap all that up, but he wasn't too far behind us, i guess, cause he was home by the time i had finished a shower.

Edit: he told me later he needed the time alone, and i shouldn't feel bad.

I washed the scratches as best i could, and put antiseptic on them, but im still worried about whether its gonna be ok. I don't have insurance, actually, and us healthcare is notoriously expensive, so if i get sick from this, i might be screwed. Dad seems to think its fine, i wanna trust him, but i was sitting in wet pants filled with who knows what kinda river germs for almost an hour so. Ya know.

Edit: im probably fine. Nothing looks infected, its been a couple days and i feel alright, and im being careful to make sure i know if anything develops. I have anxiety, so im always gonna worry about it, but i think ill be fine. Also, my favorite pair of pants is kinda ruined. Bummer.

Its been hours since we've all been home, we've ate dinner, ive calmed down, aside from worries about my health, and i know my brothers tired and still a bit upset about it. I think hes calmed down enough that it'll be ok, but im still anxious to really address it. He doesn't like talking about arguments and stuff after they happen, so its hard for me to get closure from events, and it leaves me feeling guilty for a long time. I have issues letting go.

Im tired, im anxious, im sad, im worried about my brother, and i think i don't ever wanna get on a boat again, but im gonna have to, i just know it, if i want him to be happy.

At this point i had a message from my brother, asking me to get him something. Didn't make a bit deal about it, (didn't even mention to my friend what the message was about) but man, im actually a bit miffed, even now. Like,??? He knew what i went through, i was tired sore, and hashtag done?? We talked about everything later, and we're ok now, i vented and we're putting this behind us, but man, he can be annoying. My friend said some reassuring stuff, mentioned it sounded like my brother was pretty rude, and i added this next part on.

Ya know, the worst part?

My brother mainly kept insisting i get out cause he thought i was only holding back because of fear. I kept telling him i couldn't, i physically cant, cause im weak and i have bad balance. He kept giving me the "believe in yourself, you can do it" advice. He didn't believe me when i said it wasn't psychological.

He was rude, but its cause he really loves me, ya know? He cares about me a lot, and he had a lot of faith in me. He's there for me when it counts. He's also just. A bit bossy, and doesn't explain things well, and he thinks he knows best all the time, and gets mad when people don't listen to him.

Im not much better, im kinda a bit of a bitch when im angry, too, but he was clearly a lot more stressed than i was, but he absolutely thought i was panicking when i wasn't.

My brother can be a bit hard to reason with, especially in stressful moments. He kinda gets locked in a mindset, and its usually easier to just let him go through his own motions and let him make mistakes. It usually means i get bossed around. Ive been trying to make it clear to everyone i don't like being treated like a child, but its still something i keep experiencing. When it bothers me a lot, i go and talk about it when everything settles.

He tries to be respectful of me and listen, which is why i tolerate it. We have a good relationship, i swear, its just. Difficult. When hes good, hes great, hes a good person, but hes also got some genuine problems, and so do i, and we need to communicate.

I was really rattled yesterday, basic stuff was thrown off, and i had minor difficulty focusing, and i was really sore. I found a bruise i didn't know i had, and i don't bruise easily. Ive been keeping the antiseptic on everything that needs it, and they're healing well.

He says it'll be a while before we go in that boat again. He does still want to go fishing, but hes gonna take me to various ponds and stuff instead. I just wanna go to the beach. He joked about how we can fish on the beach too. He laughed at the dirty look i gave him. I know hes not that serious.

Also, we saw manatees! I have some video, but it doesn't show em well. Its sad how that was by far not the highlight of the day.

[just-an-ari]

Gonna start with a heavier one and the go on to the fluffier ones like last time-

(kara getting ouched- lena panic)

Every time Kara hurts herself really badly or blows her powers out (or both) Lena will usually go through a rollercoaster of emotions. Kara's used to it, and she knows she'll be ok, but Lena can't adjust to it. While at the D.E.O Lena will usually be panicking or shaky, but in the car ride back Lena will usually start getting more agitated- and sometimes lash out once getting back to their apartment, "YOU CAN'T KEEP GETTING HURT LIKE THIS KARA!" and Kara tries her best to calm her. Kara understands why Lena does it though. Lena can't help but become worried, angry and very protective because she doesn't think she can lose her again- and Kara feels the exact same.

In the same category- Kara would not hesitate to choose Lena over the world.

Not very sc centric but important to me-

I feel after coming out as Kara Zor-El and becoming Editor in chief, other media companies will target her, saying how her articles have been continuously a biased source of information (with Lena, and how since she's Supergirl, she's her own source and that controls the narrative excessively).  This puts a lot of pressure on her for a while, until the media dies down (which is relatively soon since people trust her).

FLUFF TIME-

-Lena sleeps on hard pillows and Kara hates that

-not really a headcanon but I feel if Kara ever saw a crow caw at her she'd caw back (Lena in the background like- I married a fucking idiot-)

-Kara never picked science back because she didn't get earth science (moreso how to apply it- she understood most theory), so Lena tries to help her relearn (she picks it back up quickly), and then they nerd over stuff together and tinker

-Lena always reminds Kara she's her hero and Kara always answers with, "Well- I may be your hero, but you're always the one who saves me." and Lena just dies a little (in gay) every time

-If Lena works past 9pm on regular days (no time crunch) Kara literally picks her up and flies her home

- tying into the one above: Lena hates flying, but got more accustomed to Kara Airways so she's fine

-when Kara is in a cuddly mood she'll ask for pancake hugs (Kara laying on her back and Lena laying directly on top of her) because the added weight on her makes her feel safe- Lena always makes sure to pepper her face with kisses when it happens

-Kara calls the holes in crocs, "croccusies" (influenced by Nia) and Lena wants to ram her head through a wall every time she hears that word

-contrary to popular belief, it's not Kara with the best puppy eyes- it's Lena

-their fridge is decorated with drawings (made by Esme) and pictures taken of them, or of the Superfriends. Lena also bought a pack of alphabet/number magnets to tell Kara what chores need to be done around the apartment

-Lena has a lot of piercings (like Katie) and Kara tries not to drool over them

-Lena loves reading and sometimes she just wants to read and not be bothered. If Kara comes in during designated reading time she gets angy >:(    

(i havent really thought much about their kid(s) tbh so im still figuring that out- but if they did their kid(s) would be the only exception(s) to that rule)

-not rlly a headcanon but just a funny thought- if Lena became a superhero (I've made sketches) I think I'd name her Knight? (because on the chessboard they move in an L shape? Double the references?? djfaskfjsakjf) i mean- probably wouldnt but its also a cool thought

-Lena has a lot of oversized t-shirts (a few stolen from Kara too)

-One of them being "don't talk to me I'm a raging lesbian"

-another scar hc- but I think Kara has scars from the Phantoms Zone that never went away (one of them being in a sort of X shape on her arm) and Lena always kisses them, tells kara she loves her, and then begs to play tic tac toe with that one (kara doesn't seem to mind her scars all that much since they're far and few in between- and loves that Lena doesn't feel bad for her)- Kara always says yes. And Lena always wins.

-they have a pretty stable routine as a couple- they've been through too many things to wanna do something new and different all the time

-Sometimes, Kara will pass by L-Corp (or the Lena Luthor Foundation depending on where Lena's working that day) and drops in to say hi and check in on Lena. If she's having an off day and sometimes even if she isn't, Kara will usually make sure to get home quickly and clean the apartment, order some food and pick out some music from their vinyl collection. When Lena gets home, she's picked up, dropped on the couch and given food and snuggles. Sometimes if she's feeling more energized, they'll dance around the apartment for a bit to some slow music. Otherwise, Kara sets a bath for her and helps her wash up, tucks her in bed and reads to her.

Anyways sadjfkasdjfkasdf thats all for today- if yall want more (or have doodle requests, my ask box is always open!)

I *would* like to ask about your headcanons pls

especially about Lena's scars

(also you'll have me going 🥺🥺🥺 all week with the new comic)

to

and

this is also for you guys :) SO- we'll start w/ Lena's scars- also known as (insecure Lena) I feel that in the show we see a good amount of Lena getting into trouble and I would honestly be surprised if after 5 years (canon-compliant time) she wouldn't have any scars on her. Of course, since in the canon-compliant timeline she doesn't actually get seriously injured so they're not very noticeable once they fade (but in my post-canon au I do think she would have slightly more noticeable ones). Anywho- Lena also strikes me as the type of person who is (deep, deep, deep down- god she buries it so far down) pretty insecure. I think sometimes, although she'll go to work in a sleeveless dress or in a shirt that shows off her forearms and just be an all-powerful badass bitch boss, she'll wake up that morning- look at herself, and hate what she sees. She'll be taking a break from work and see a few scars littering her forearms. She'll put another layer on that covers them and tries not to cry (this is why for a while she'll also more frequently wear suits/more masculine coded outfits in my post-canon au). Lena is also definitely very soft and has tummy rolls- and this fuels her physical self-hatred/discontentment.

BUT- our beloved Kara comes to the rescue! Kara would just hold Lena sometimes before bed and take the opportunity to tell her how beautiful she is and how much she loves her. Of course, she makes sure to tell Lena all of this at every chance she gets, but on quiet, slow evenings, she'll take the time to kiss each and every single blemish on the brunette's body and make sure she understands how wonderful she is. Kara is also in love with her tummy rolls and takes every chance she gets to kiss her stomach. Which leads me to my next headcanon! (overwhelmed Lena) Lena (especially at the beginning of their relationship) easily gets overwhelmed by happy feels when she's with Kara cuddling (wow look it's my comic asdjakdja), or it's a lazy Sunday, and Kara's whispering sweet nothings into her ears as she tried to watch a movie or read a book. Kara, once realizing Lena's getting overwhelmed, tries to calm her down and once hearing her heartbeat return to normal- asks what she wants. Lena has two reactions to happy feels overload; "kiss me Kara Zor-El or so help me-" or something along those lines, and, "give me a minute". Kara of course always makes sure to respect all of her wishes. If Lena wants space, Kara goes and gets her a small snack usually. Relating into this, I also think Lena gets uncomfortable with touch on occasion- getting chills or starts mildly panicking when one of her friends brings her into a hug, or pats her back. This also applies to Kara- sometimes gets tense when, without warning, Kara will take her hand in hers, or hug her waist. Of course, Kara picks up on it relatively quickly (the first time it happens she makes sure that Lena knows to talk to her about it, and Lena does) and makes sure to give her space until Lena comes to her.

Ill talk about one more darker one and then move on to just some short, cute fluffy ones- (nightmares and grieving) THE CW DID THEM SO DIRTY. Both Kara and Lena have suffered through so much shit and the CW just skipped over it like how I do with my breakfast. Both Kara and Lena have nightmares. Especially right after the end of s6, they get them more often than not. And they find themselves calling each other after nightmares, and talking (either about them or just other things to lighten the mood). And for a while, Lena cries and grieves Lillian (I think everything that everything that happened right before she died- in those few minutes- just sent Lena into a spiral of emotions she didn't know how to process). It's then that Lena asks Kelly about therapy, and starts getting it. Things aren't immediately better, nor is progress linear, but as the years progress, the pain she feels blends into the background. Kara, on the other hand, does not go to therapy and it takes longer for her to heal. But once Lena starts living with her, she's there and helping her through her grief and pain, and Kara's nightmares slowly become less and less frequent.

NOW ONTO SHORT N FLUFFY -Lena sometimes steals Kara's cape and uses it as a weighted blanket when sleeping (Kara gets and extra one made because she cant seem to take it off of her) -Kara steals various clothes from Lena's wardrobe (we know they swap clothes in the series as well) and the fit shouldn't go well together but IT DOES and Lena (along with half of CATCO is confused)

-After getting married: Kara and Lena wear both wedding rings and bracelets. The human population has absolutely zero clue as to what the bracelets are- and a lot of them speculate they were wedding gifts. But since they are more important to the couple than the rings, sometimes one of them (or both) forgets their ring at home and some of the other media corporations get super confused about it and start speculating every time it happens "LUTHOR-DANVERS: THE DIVORCE OF THE DECADE?" .

-Lena and Kara absolutely love ABBA (but hate Mamma Mia the movies) and have a record player as well as 3 boxes of old records they put on from time to time while cleaning up around the apartment - A not so fun one: (angry) yelling is quite triggering for Lena- and tells Kara so. If they argue, its usually just a heated conversation. -Lena sleeps on the left side of the bed. (Kara loves seeing the sun filtered through glass and creating a halo around the brunette and Kara is so gay). -Kara buys her own merch, but Lena is always the one who ends up wearing it and Kara really can't seem to find it in herself to care. - Lena definitely steals Kara's potstickers (Kara lets her) and the first time it happens at game night all hell breaks loose -Lena sleep talks but usually unintelligibly "ahh ausfnsdfiuefsj and I don't wanna.... asjdkdjskf why australia?". Kara usually wakes up when it happens, and jots down everything she said to tell her in the morning. -Lena makes grabby hands at Kara to show she wants cuddles -While doing the dishes, or other household chores, Kara usually sings about what she's doing (but doesn't realize she does it) "washin the dishes, mmm mhm mhm! aaaaandddd towelin em dry! woo!" and Lena wants to marry her all over again -Kara loves painting (this we see) and tried to convince lena to paint w/ her. Lena can't do art to save her life. - Kara goes out to fight in a supergirl onesie because crime interrupted their game night and everyone flips "What! It was Onesie Wednesday!"

-sometimes for fun, Kara gives Lena piggyback rides and asks lena to make noises like a jetpack or engine- the superfriends are so done with their bullshit

-kara and lena get a cat (streaky) and kara takes the opportunity to; first- do that trend where you let your cat pick their political party, pronouns, etc. (streaky uses he/they pronouns) and then dress him up in the most absurd outfits (streaky doesnt seem to mind, but lena groans and walks away every time Kara bring home a new fit). And for now- this is the last one because I've already been writing for like two hours (im sorry its so long ajsdkasdaskdajsd)

-Kara starts wearing the House of El crest on her clothing more and more often, and works her way up to wearing formal kryptonian attire to galas and events (once getting married Lena asks Kara if it's alright to wear similar attire- with Kara of course being really happy and saying yes). Anyways- asdasjkdaskdjaksd i went overboard and i apologize but uh- ill leave this here :)