#i need to compare their shoe sizes. i don't actually know how big their feet are compared to each other.....

[fisheito]

callback to my tags from months ago:

now SWITCH

[the-firebird69]

The article attached is probably accurate he's up a little on the hill but really we have information that says in this picture he's at 12 ft it's an illusion that he's only twice as tall and it's because of the way the human body is but this is really the normal height of Lucifer and his wife Lilith and they don't like the news now they like them and it was probably Bill's fault mostly and that's who it was the other half in starbucks. That's why it's closed. It came up today and they're saying the coffee is a bit strong. They said the guy's lying he said he holds off and has a max going so they started getting mad then you got even then they get mad at our son and their weak and they got to get the hell out of here. It's almost exactly 12 ft 3 but he has shoes on is 12 ft 5 cuz it's shoes are huge he's almost 13 ft tall couple more feet and is 15. In the middle he is not exactly a string bean and his waist is as wide as the man's shoulders what's your normal size but that means that he has a waste of around 40 in which is big but not really that big it's actually kind of small our son is pushing 38 and he's short and he looks big okay around these people he looks pretty big but there are people that are bigger than him and they look gigantic to some people so I don't mind him being big but if he was this tall people would be afraid of him because his waist would be probably 55 to 60 in around and it'll be as wide as his shoulders if not about three or four inches across not around wider and he would be bulkier up top and a couple more feet at Max height but he'll probably max out at 12 foot because he'll start working out and can't feel his body correctly and we think 10 ft and he does too or even last but still that's huge that's almost this person's height no but 10 foot is a big person and now Joe is 10 ft one day and our son came out and said boy you're a huge now he said what and he went inside and found out his coffee so eased off the coffee and shrunk and you figured out something I thought I was growing in the screwing around with me to get mad and mad at our son and he said just calm down and so he did doesn't do anything for you and he said he increasing your cortisol and and adding adrenaline and he knew that... So we both got that but still the man is very big and he would stand out like he does here is there about 5'7 or 5'8 and they look very small and they're almost 6 ft and he is gigantic compared to them because of his Mass and with and he was a terror to deal with but he was only this height for a few days he shrunk down and he started beating him up came their size and they beat him up all the time they tried to get back there and he couldn't and couldn't figure out how I did it and our son said a certain water somewhere so they went back to where he was and became huge again and he beat everybody up and he knows how to do it here but he can't do it no one lets him go there and come back and he said I wonder why the prison is out there with these Max and I wonder if they're getting big and doing stuff but what would they be doing and a son says probably pulling your devices out but where they put them and they got a little nervous and they said I think they're making bombs and ordinance with it and they checked it today and they found out it's true then they found out Tommy f is doing it on the islands and in a big way and they're having a war out there right now

We don't want our son to be this tall it takes an enormous amount of food and he's already slowing down on his recovery feast even though he ate a big lunch he considers it big he needs to eat this stuff and he probably won't be able to so he'll store it and reheat it and have dinner tomorrow which is good and you'll have a sandwich later banana sandwich but he really needs to eat more of it it says there's a bunch of it left probably 65% of it and we think it's a little bit more he has to make it the halfway at least but boy this guy's big and yeah he'd be too big it stands out and people getting fights

Thor Freya

When I say there's no way we don't want to do this you'd be too big and at 9 ft is stick out like a sore thumb not really it's obvious but it's not massive at 8-ft your pretty big and people look and they don't really know I ain't seen a few people that I was like 7 ft I mean hardly paid attention and the big fat guy was not he was like six five pretty big though came too close and my husband said I'm going to break something and he kept going and came back as a cop and it was Dan and his Big and chunky again and people are telling him to get lost. And he should he's an ass I'm going to tell you what he has to do all the stuff during the day it's a pain in the neck for everybody but we are not fixing it we have to get working on it it's not our my husband's fault dammit

Hera

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

I like honestly need some toothrotting fluff with snafu like 70% of the snafu content is just smut not that I'm complaining but I need doing basic ass things with snaf that don't lead to fucking like mention it sure but if the reader and snaf could keep it in there pants and do something fluffy for two seconds that would be much appreciated

I don’t think you’re yelling at me, lol, but I do acknowledge that the majority of my Snaf writing is smut. I guess we all just see Merriell “Snafu” Shelton as the sexbeast when it comes to the Ramigos 🙃

Anyway, kickin’ it out to the country for this one, and I hope it’s fluffy enough for you!

Your relationship with your parents was . . . complicated.

For as long as you could remember, your main goal had been to get as far away from the northeastern United States as possible, so when your ambitions took you deep into the south, you settled into your new life with ease. The oppressive weight of everything that was them, lifted, and you felt, for the first time, free.

Meeting Merriell Shelton only lightened matters. At first, he was a handsome, mysterious, brooding creature, but when he took a shine to you, you realized it was all a mask—a protective layer, much like your own that he had donned to shield himself from all the bad he had already known in the world. And once he let you in, there wasn’t a day that went by when he didn’t make you smile or when you didn’t have to clutch your stomach from laughing so hard it hurt.

Happiness, so soft and so sweet, flowed over you like a cleansing wave and life was good.

But one evening, when Merriell came home from work, he found you sitting quietly on the sofa, reading a message from your brother.

“What is it, darlin?”

“My folks—they . . . miss me.”

“But you don’t miss them, right?”

You looked up at Merriell, frowning. “I’m . . . not sure. A few years ago, my answer would’ve been a hell no. Now? I’m just not sure.”

“Time can do that to a person,” Mer said, raising his eyes and looking over your head and out the living room window.

“Would you—” you stopped, unsure if you really wanted to ask this of him.

“Would I?” he questioned, his green eyes flicking back to lock on yours, blazing with an intensity that told you he was listening, really listening.

You bit your lip, then asked, “Would you come home with me?”

Merriell was quiet for a moment, then he kneeled on the floor in front of you, careful to avoid staining the fabric of the couch with his grease-spotted work pants. “I’ll do whateva ya want,” he said, plucking one of your hands from your lap so he could gently kiss your palm before pressing it against his cheek.

“Thank you,” you said, your voice choked with emotion as you ran your thumb over the soft skin of his cheek.

* * * * *

As the tires crunched over the grass-disrupted gravel along the winding driveway to your parents’ farmhouse, you rolled down the window and breathed in the air of your childhood. The corn was growing in nicely, but Mer looked around and said, “That’s all the higha it is in July?”

“Knee-high by the fourth of July,” you sang with a little laugh. “Things grow a little slower up here.”

Merriell watched the corn pass suspiciously, but once the rows ended, you were met with yet another long stretch of driveway that led up to the house.

Situated on a hill in the midst of a decently sized yard that was then flanked by the woods, was your parents’ place. Everything was kept in pristine condition when you lived there, so you weren’t surprised that much hadn’t changed. Property was the one true pride of your folks.

Merriell pulled into a spot beside your daddy’s truck and cut the engine.

“Ya ready?”

You nodded before hopping out of your car, relishing in the freedom to stand and bounce on your toes, wiggling off the long drive.

Merriell stretched, groaning a little as his back popped when he lifted his arms high over his head.

You seized the opportunity and launched into his side, wrapping your arms tightly around his trim waist. You buried your face in his neck and inhaled as he brought his arms down around you.

For a few minutes, you just stood there, locked in a warm hug and wrapped in the most comforting presence you had ever known, both of you totally at peace. Although, you could feel Merriell’s eyeballs moving as they took everything in, knowing he’d have a million questions once the two of you were settled in for the night.

“All right. Let’s do this,” you said with a shaky conviction.

Mer chuckled into your ear and kissed your temple. “Not too late to jus’ high-tail it outta here.”  

You smiled at him and shook your head, taking his hand in yours and leading him into the house.

* * * * *

As it turned out, Merriell was right. Time did have a way of changing things and the evening was pleasant. Your brother and your sister were there, asking Merriell a million questions about growing up in Cajun country, and your parents peppered you with questions about how you’d adjusted to life in the south.

By the time the crickets and the katydids were trying to outsing each other, your mouth was actually dry from talking. Your parents had gone to bed and your siblings had just left, so you poured what remained of the lemonade into two glasses, filled them with ice, and took Merriell to your favorite part of the house: the wrap-around, open, front porch.

You settled into a pair of matching, wooden Adirondack chairs that were connected by a small table, and settling your drinks there, you both let your eyes adjust to the dark.

“‘S kinda spooky out here,” Mer commented as he adjusted to the night noises of the north.

Your laughter was soft. “Give your eyes a minute. Keep watching the treeline.”

Mer complied, and in a few minutes he was leaning forward, his mouth popping open in the dark. You watched him first, then turned your eyes to the treeline as what seemed like millions of lightening bugs began their dance.

There were so many of the fiery little creatures, their lights blinking off and on so quickly that it looked like the trees were moving even though there wasn’t even a slight breeze. It was mesmerizing, and paired with the sounds of the crickets and the katydids, it was bliss.

“I missed this.”

“I’ve neva seen so many,” Merriell said with awe. “It looks like a, whatchamacallit? The thing with the bursts of color inside?”

“A kaleidoscope.”

“Mmhm.”

You smiled as you watched him watching the lightening bugs, his curls still neatly tamed and his crisp white t-shirt standing out against both the background of the night and the deep tan of his arms.

“Wanna catch a couple?”

Merriell turned to look at you like you were crazy, but once he saw the way your face was lit up in a wide smile, he couldn’t help but smile back. He stood up from his chair and you did, too, telling him to wait just a second.

Dashing into the house, you dug out one of your mom’s canning jars and grimaced as you poked holes in the lid with a kitchen knife. You didn’t even want to know how many jars met this fate when you were little because no one could ever remember where the lid went. It was like the holes made it invisible by the next time you needed it.

Merriell was still standing in the same spot, still watching the lightening bugs.

“They closer now.”

“Perfect for catching!” you said with a leap off the porch and into the yard, your shoes forgotten and the cool grass bringing back another wave of memories.

Except nothing from your childhood could compare to the feeling of Merriell deciding that you were going to be his first lightening bug. He caught you around the waist and spun you before settling you back on your feet.

“That’s not how this works,” you said through your laughter.

“Oh? Show me then,” he teased, his teeth a flash of white in the dark as he grinned.

“Come on!”

Tugging Merriell through the yard you stalked a lightening bug, waiting until it was just close enough to snatch out of the air.

“Got him!”

You shook the bug off into the jar and both of you watched as he blinked inside of his cage.

“Betta find him a friend,” Merriell said, his eyes narrowing as he mimicked the way you had stalked and captured your bug—except he didn’t quite have the knack yet, so when he opened his hand a streak of dying phosphorescence was smeared across his palm.

“Oh no,” Merriell breathed.

You shook your head and couldn’t help but to quietly laugh at his genuine guilt.

“I had a cousin who used to smear them on like war paint—at least you didn’t do it on purpose,” you said, lifting his chin and giving him a consoling peck.

“Here,” you said softly. “Watch me again.”

Mer watched you so intently that you could feel his burning gaze of concentration as you caught the next bug. “More like an open-palmed snatch—and don’t close your fist the whole way.”  

Merriell nodded and came back beaming with his living lightening bug cupped tenderly in his palm.

“Do I get a kiss for doin’ it right?”

“You can have a kiss for breathing if you want.”

Mer laughed and kissed you, his lips pressing into yours in a few quick successions before he pulled away and challenged you, insisting he could catch more lightening bugs than you.

For the next hour, the two of you darted through the yard like kids, laughing, occasionally stopping for hugs and sweet kisses until Mer’s challenge was completely forgotten and your jar was filled with blinking little treasures.

“I’m so thirsty,” you said, swiping at the little bit of sweat that had broken out along your brow.

Merriell took your hand and you walked back to the porch. He set the jar down beside your watered down lemonades and when you downed your drink in nearly one gulp, he offered you his.

“Wha’ we gonna do with them?” he asked, his finger lightly tapping on the glass as he leaned in to watch them crawl around the jar, their lights bright enough to reflect in his big eyes.

“Let them go,” you said with a wistful half-smile.

Mer looked up at you, then back down at the jar.

“They sure are beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” you replied, betting a hundred dollars that Merriell was blushing but it was too dark to see.

“Stop that,” he lightly scolded. “That’s ma line.”

“Oh, it’s a line, is it?”

He smiled. “No, darlin. Not with you. With you, it’s the truth.”

“That’s an even better line.”

You both tittered with laughter, both of your eyes lingering on each other before you reached for the jar.

“Let’s go free our little friends.”

Hand in hand with only a mason jar full of fireflies to guide you, you made your way toward the treeline.