#i need a t-shirt that says ''sorry i'm annoying i'm currently being haunted''

[vs-redemption]

Hi. Not sure if request are allowed (idk what I'm doing) but wondering if you could write something like aizawa finds out reader was sexually abused when they were younger...maybe comforts them and helps them through a panic attack? Holds them while they cry kinda stuff.. It would mean a lot to me (give me all the comfort...I need it 😫)

From Cindy: Hey anon. Requests are definitely allowed. I’m sorry it took me a while to get to this. I hope you are doing all right, and I hope you can get some comfort from this ♥

Dirty (Aizawa x Reader)

⚠️mentions of sexual abuse, Panic Attack, Hurt/Comfort ⚠️

Of all the decisions you’d made in your life, agreeing to go on a date with Shota Aizawa was turning out to be one of the better ones. Even after the awkward stiffness of the first few times going out disappeared, the man continued to be extremely gentle, patient, and kind. Many people looked for these exact traits in a partner, but they were even more important to you. With the experiences of your past like a constant shadow looming over you, even just convincing yourself to put yourself out there to try and meet new people was a difficult issue to overcome. So, finding a partner who could not only accept the fact that these traumatic things had happened to you but also help you move past them was even more unlikely.

Admittedly, you hadn’t shared the horrors from your younger years with your hero boyfriend yet, but you were starting to feel like you might be able to open up to him about it soon. The fear that he would lose interest in you and leave every time you shrugged off his affection had begun to ease away. He’d looked confused the first couple times you’d pushed him away, but not once had he looked annoyed or gotten angry. For a while, you had also worried that he would ask about your odd behavior, but that hadn’t happened yet either. Aizawa seemed to understand and respect your need for space and to move at a slower pace through the relationship.

“Today I will tell him.” You promise your reflection in the mirror one morning as you get ready for the day. Aizawa was scheduled to come over to have dinner with you after his patrol, and you thought it was as decent an opportunity as any to finally expose your dark secret.

You were feeling fairly confident about it until you turned on the TV right as the local newscaster launched into a story about a young child who’d apparently gone through a similar situation as yourself. As quickly as you can, you change the channel and try not to let the disturbing report trigger any of the memories that so often haunted you.

After convincing yourself that you’d be all right and that you just needed a distraction, you grab your keys and head to the supermarket to pick up the ingredients you’d need for dinner that evening. The harder you tried not to think about the child from the news though, the more it seemed to pop into your head. Soon, familiar images from your past began to consume your thoughts, making your stomach roll and skin itch uncomfortably.

“Dirty.” The word slips from your lips as you rush back home, avoiding the stares of people around you who you were convinced knew every single terrible detail of the memories currently rushing through your mind. You toss the groceries onto the ground once you make it back, more concerned with getting rid of the filthy feeling all over your body than putting the food away. You rush to the bathroom, eager to scrub every inch of yourself until the shame went away.

By the time Aizawa showed up, you felt more composed. You’d managed to put yourself back together after the shower and get all the groceries put away, hopefully leaving your boyfriend none the wiser about the rough day you’d had.

“Smells good in here,” He smiles as he comes in the door, slipping out of his shoes and tucking his feet into the pair of slippers you kept at the entrance for him. “Anything I can do to help?”

“N-no, I’ve got it.” You bite your bottom lip to try and keep your mind focused. The warmth and genuine kindness in his eyes made a wave of guilt wash over you, and your thoughts began to spiral. How long had you been with Aizawa now? How long had you been deceiving a good man? You shake your head, reminding yourself that you had every intention of telling him. Still, you couldn’t help but wonder if he deserved someone better than you… someone less… tainted. Without realizing, your hands had begun to shake and your breathing become labored.

“Hey, is everything all right?” Aizawa’s hand appears in front of you to take your hands into his but you rip out of his grasp and back away, hot tears finally springing forward and blurring your vision. The shock stays on his face for just a moment before morphing into concern as he whispers your name softly.

“No!” You shake your head. “You can’t. We can’t. I’m just… I’m sorry. You should be with … someone else. Someone better.” You were too upset to form coherent sentences, and Aizawa was clearly confused.

“What are you talking about?” He asks softly, “What brought this on?”

You couldn’t believe his patience and self-control. Why wasn’t he getting angry? You could see it in his posture that he was holding himself back from rushing over to you. Even now, he was giving you space and remaining calm. This wasn’t the way you wanted him to find out, but you found that you couldn’t keep the truth in any longer. With a choked sob, the truth spills from your lips. You explain as quickly as you can how your body had been violated against your will, and how that made you feel too disgusting to be with anyone, especially someone as good as him. Aizawa looked stunned as he took in your confession. Then, his eyes were also filling with tears as you told him sadly that you understood if he wanted to leave.

“I’m not leaving,” he states without hesitation, “not unless you tell me to.” Seeing you standing across the room with your shoulders hunched and shaking as you continued to cry was breaking his heart. “The only disgusting thing is the person who did those things to you.” He wipes the wetness from his own cheeks before taking a hesitant step forward. “Please, can I hold you?”

The nagging self-doubt was still in the back of your head, but you still manage to force your feet to shuffle forward until you’re close enough for Aizawa to pull you firmly into his arms and safely against his chest. “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” He murmurs softly while letting his hand rub slow circles on your back to try and calm you down. “And I would never leave you over something that wasn’t your fault.” The comforting words bring about a fresh wave of tears and you wrap your arms around his waist, fingers fisting into his shirt to keep him close. You stay embraced for a few minutes as your breathing calms down and you start to relax, Aizawa telling you how strong and brave you are the whole time.

“T-the food,” you mutter as the timer on the stove goes off. Reluctantly you pull away and turn to grab some oven mitts, but your hands are still shaking.

“Let me,” Aizawa offers and you let him take the dish from the oven and set it on the counter. Before you can say another word, he pulls you back into his arms and you let out a teary laugh.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all this sooner,” you nuzzle your face into his chest. “I just… I just couldn’t.”

“It’s okay,” Aizawa shakes his head. “You don’t have to be sorry about that. Please tell me I never did anything to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, you’re perfect.” You look up and smile at him so he knows how honest you’re being. “More than perfect.”

“I hope you know I feel the same way about you,” He says seriously.

“Even now?” You can’t help but ask.

“Even now.” He confirms with a nod of his head.

The confidence of his answer caused that small hope in your chest to bloom into true happiness. For so long, you’d hoped to find someone you were not only comfortable enough with to divulge the trauma of your past, but also someone you could trust enough to join in your journey of self-healing. Aizawa seemed to fit every category and then some with flying colors. Agreeing to go on that first date with him had definitely been one of the best decisions of your life.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Steph!! I'm so sorry if this has already been asked before, but do you have any recs for fics where John has adorable lovey dovey pet names for Sherlock??

Anonymous said to inevitably-johnlocked: Hello! I just want to ask if you know some fics where John calls Sherlock “love”? It’s just I’m craving for it right now and I need more. Thank you! You’re amazing.

Hi Nonnies!!

OKAY, I got the second Nonny’s ask MONTHS ago, and I started a list, but I’m just going to keep going if I don’t just post it, so here we are, gonna just post up what I have so far!! Lots more to come, hah! I have to go back over the ones I’ve already sorted LOL.

JOHN CALLS SHERLOCK “LOVE”

Let the Sun Fade Out by nothingislittle (E, 2,711 w. || Fluff & Smut, Praise Kink, PWP, Obsessed Sherlock, Bottomlock, Heart-Tearing Love) – “He could warm the sun itself, Sherlock thinks, could heat their flat with just his presence, could brighten the room with one dazzling smile or just the sparkling in his eyes. John is everything, he’s beautiful and he shines, he’s everything.”

What He’s Like by magikspell (E, 2,919 w. || Love Confessions, Fluff, First Time, Inexperienced Sherlock) – Realistic first time. They love each other so much.

Right Foot Red by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,089 w. || First Time, Board Games, Frottage, Masturbation, Frottage, PWP) – …ok, it’s juvenile, but at least it’s a game where touching is allowed. And if something more were to happen, well, John can’t say he’d be too upset about that. “What are the rules of this game?” Sherlock asks, the disdain evident on the word ‘game’. “I spin, you do as I say.” John thinks he sees a slight widening of those pale grey eyes at that, just for a fraction of a second, before it is shut down. Oh, this is interesting, he thinks.

In Nomine by Atiki (E, 3,517 w. || Est. Rel., PWP, Anal, Domesticity, Love Confessions, Sherlock Loves John, Overwhelmed Sherlock) – “Alright?” John asks gently, planting a kiss on Sherlock’s left collar bone, smoothing a hand down his chest and belly until it rests in the soft trail of hair below his belly button. John’s smile is all soft and warm. His hand feels tender and solid and real. A soldier’s hand. A surgeon’s hand. A lover’s hand. Oh. “John”, Sherlock gasps. And that’s where it begins. Written for a prompt on the Kink Meme: The only word Sherlock says during sex is “John”.

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Rumpled by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,601 w. || Est. Rel., Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, PWP, Proposal, Bottomlock) – Then, halfway through a documentary on river otters that neither of them was paying attention to–how could John, with a gangly, limp consulting detective practically purring in his lap?–Sherlock suddenly bolted upright, looked at John with a perplexed expression and a crinkle above his nose, and blurted, “Marry me.” Part 4 of Longitudinal Cohort

Come home. by hudders-and-hiddles (huddersandhiddles) (E, 3,763 w. || Texting / Sexting, Lonely Sherlock, Nude Photos, Pining, Fluff & Smut) – When John leaves for a medical conference, Sherlock tries to entice him back home.

Happy anniversary by Salambo06 (E, 3,772 w. || Est. Rel., Vulnerable Sherlock, Wedding Anniversary, Anal, Texting, Lingerie) – John inhaled deeply, feeling his cock pulse under the silk gown, and he let his eyes travel on the lean body in front of him. Sherlock was kneeling on the bed, their bed, and the picture had been taken so John could perfectly see his bare chest and pelvis. But what mattered most, what made John harden rather quickly, was the pair of panties Sherlock was wearing in the picture. Black, string over each hip and laces that outlined Sherlock’s erect cock barely hidden under the soft underwear.

Love and Hair Dye by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,920 w. || Est. Rel., Body Worship, Self Conscious John, Voyeurism, Idiots in Love, Smutty Smut) – Self conscious John decides to cover the greys on his head, and the colour isn’t what he thought it would be. Now he’s more self-conscious than ever.

Forty-four by jamlockk (E, 4,415 w. || John’s Birthday, Fluff, PWP) – John turns forty-four, gets some advice and the best birthday present he could’ve ever hoped for.

all things warm and tender by darcylindbergh (E, 5,177 w. || PWP, Romantic Fluff, Rimming/Anal/BJ’s, Body Worship) – Grinning and giggling, John slides back down under the sheet and pulls it over his head. He finds Sherlock waiting for him, eyes bright and hair wild, the firelight bleeding through the thin fabric, colouring everything in soft peach and topaz, and in that moment he is so suddenly, unexpectedly, ethereally beautiful that John forgets how to breathe.

Better Than Fiction by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 6,813 w. || Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Masturbation, BJ’s, First Time / Kiss) – …he opens his eyes, but instead of seeing John he is staring at his bedroom ceiling, the pale plaster a startling contrast from the scene in his head. It had felt so real. He can only imagine what the feel of John’s lips would be like, his taste. But luckily for him, he thinks with a smirk, he’s always had a brilliant imagination.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, H/C) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

All the Flavours, Cherry and More by cwb (E, 6,274 w. || Est. Rel., Lip Gloss, Lingerie, Birthday Presents, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock feels a blush rising to touch his cheeks, more sensual than uncomfortable now that he knows John isn’t disgusted by him. No, John is responding exactly the way he had hoped.

Beg for Mercy (Twice) by Solitary_Endeavor (E, 7,060 w. || Est. Rel., Bottomlock, Bearded John, Edging, Rough Sex, Idiots in Love, Canon Compliant) – Sherlock hasn’t left the flat in four days, the itch of impatience beneath his skin too great to allow him to suffer interaction with any human being who isn’t John. This is probably a mercy that goes both ways, as he’s driving even himself mad. Sherlock supposes there is a lesson to be learned here about having himself to blame, but of course he blames Mycroft.

The T-Shirt Thief by allroadsleadbacktobakerstreet (T, 7,968 w. || Mutual Pining, Post Canon Fix It, Dev. Rel., First Kiss, Domestics) – Sherlock steals John’s t-shirt from the laundry. John catches him wearing it one evening, fluff ensues with an endeared yet teasing John?

Extraordinary by queenoftrivia (G, 2,860 w. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Morse Code, Est. Rel, Violins) – Sherlock’s deduced that John’s going to Italy to buy him a violin. Even the greatest detective alive makes a few mistakes.

Affirmation by jamlockk (E, 3,096 w. || First Time, Dev. Rel., PWP, Love Declarations, Emotional Sherlock, Comforting John, Gross Fluff) – “Sunlight dappled John’s skin, casting a glow across his spreadeagled form as he dozed among the rumpled sheets. Sherlock knew the expression on his face was hopelessly soft but for once did not care about showing his true feelings so openly. He simply stood there, in the doorway, gazing at the impossibly beautiful man currently snuffling softly in his slumber.” Part 8 of All the ways we love

Practical Johnkeeping by what_alchemy (M, 4,330 w. || Beekeeping, Aging, Gladstone, Tooth Rotting Fluff) – Sherlock predicts nectar flow the same way he deduces a murder, but he harvests the honey like John coddles the dog.

Abatement by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 6,816 w. || Est. Rel., Retirementlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Self Esteem, Grumpy Sherlock) – “What’s wrong with you? You love the cottage,” John glances over to the passenger seat, then quickly turns his eyes back to the road. Driving was still not his forte, but considering Sherlock still couldn’t properly bend and lift his new knee enough to press and release the clutch, he had to make do. Not that Sherlock hadn’t tried to argue his way into the driver’s seat. “I love the cottage for a week or two, John. Don’t be deliberately obstuse,” Sherlock grumbles, sinking further in his seat. Well, as best he can with a four-week-old knee replacement. “And that’s all we’re going for, love,” John says out loud. But what he’s thinking is, shit. He knows.

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?

The Red Dianthus by kinklock (T, 11,382 w. || Halloween, Supernatural Elements, BAMF!John, Dev. Rel.) – The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.

The Slow Burn by CaitlinFairchild (E, 12,097 w. | Romance, Emotional Infidelity, Friends to Lovers}} – John smiles, something small and private and for him alone, and Sherlock just…he knows. With a heart-stopping certainty, Sherlock suddenly knows.It feels like falling off the edge of a cliff. It feels like falling off the edge of the world. It feels like flying.

All the Girls Love a Soldier by Book7BrokeMyBrain (E, 12,951 w. || Military Kink, Frottage, Domesticity, Post S3, Pining Sherlock, Kilt John, Wedding, Dancing) – John is invited to a stag party and a wedding. The related accoutrement suit Sherlock to a T.

Back to the Start by slashscribe (M, 14,088 w. || Sherlock’s Violin, Pining Idiots, Fluff, Domestics) – Sherlock hasn’t played the violin since John’s wedding (which is long since over), and when John returns to 221B, Sherlock relearns the violin as he and John relearn each other. Post S3 fic with an obscene amount of pining, idiocy, and attempts to pawn off tea duties.

Your Eyes in Darkness Glowing by tamed_untranslatable (E, 14,686 w. || Est. Rel., Case Fic, Hotel Sex, Bottomlock, Anal, BJ’s, Porn With Feelings, Homophobia) – Sherlock gets roped into a case in Moscow on his brother’s insistence, but finds that he can’t do it without John.

In A Changing Age by allonsys_girl (E, 15,590 w. || Victorian AU, Virgin / Demi Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Mild H/C) – Sherlock wakes up in the 19th century, with no idea how he got there.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock’s death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he’s hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn’t stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty’s web, BAMF-style.

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff, Case Fit) –  John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

For you, there’s only me by shock_blanket (E, 19,557 w. || Jealous Idiots, Virgin Sherlock, UST/RST, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss / Time, Insecure Sherlock, Masturbation) – Sherlock realizes he has fallen in love with John, but believes he is unlovable. Cue lots of pining and jealousy on Sherlock’s part, followed by our favorite cuddly marksman making it all better. Because for Sherlock, there’s only John.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – Written for this prompt on the kinkmeme: ‘John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.’

“finally kiss the bloody idiot” by Salambo06 (E, 29,812 w. || Mutual Pining, Fake Relationship, First Kiss / Time, Angst, Misunderstandings, Fantasies POV John) – Inspired by a fic idea on tumblr : “John and Sherlock know the Yard has a pool going for when they’re finally going to get together. It’s been running forever, and it’s worth thousands of pounds. It’s all fun and games, hahaha, until they find out Lestrade is in dire financial straits (dog needs emergency surgery, he’s putting his kid through gymnastics training, I don’t know, something), and they decide to fake a relationship to win the pool for him. Sherlock figures out the day and way that Lestrade thinks it’s going to happen, and they act it out. It’s all for a good cause, fake relationship style, until it’s not.” Part 1 of The Pool

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR, 54,437 w. || Post S3 || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (E, 87,987 w. || Vampire AU || Bonding, Vampire Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, H/C, John Whump, Magical Realism) – John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn’t human. His vampirism doesn’t pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

OTHER PET NAMES

Unwanted by 221b_hound (T, 2,436 w. || Est. Rel., Wedding Rings, Asshole Exes) – In the jewellers to collect their wedding rings ahead of the Big Day, an old friend of John’s spots him. Well. I say ‘friend’.Sherlock isn’t jealous. He’s possibly a little bit grateful. That doesn’t mean Lydia Templeton isn’t an idiot. Part 19 of Unkissed

Unwrapped by 221b_hound (E, 3,022 w. || Christmas, Fluff, Oral Sex, Feet and Toes, Tow Fetish, Pet Names, Licking) – It’s Christmas morning. John doesn’t really want the Christmas Sex that Sherlock proposes and explains the reasons why. Sherlock discovers a new element of how his desire functions, and later John gets to indulge his foot fetish. Part 8 of Unkissed

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

Unmissed by 221b_hound (M, 3,235 w. || Est. Rel., Pet Names, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – John enjoys a good brawl during a case, and Sherlock begins to worry - when they retire, will John get bored? Will John get bored and leave. But even if John isn’t a genius about cases, he knows a thing or two about Sherlock’s panic attacks about them as a couple. With only four days till the wedding, he’s not about to let Sherlock continue with this misplaced notion that John will be bored in retirement. Part 20 of Unkissed

Posh Boy by panickedbee (M, 3,622 w. || Kinks, RST, Pining, Sexual Frustation) – In his head he greets him with hey, handsome in the morning, calls him genius when he is being too clever again, calls him pretty man and silly git and sweetheart and, of course, posh boy. Part 5 of Sherlock Holmes Is A Very Lucky Man

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?