#i mean y'all kids wanna live in the 90s then let's talk like we did back then too

[hislittleraincloud]

Alright, I'm bringing this fucking word back and IDGAF who cancels me for it...

You're so unbelievably delusional I am surprised you're not in any wenclair or jemma fan club at this point!!

Are you FUCKING RETARDED? Because I'm thinking that you're fucking retarded.

That's it. That's all I have to fucking say to your ass at the moment because once you typed that shit, I stopped reading or caring what you have to say. You might as well be just as mentally fucked as that Portuguese speaker who dumped the Percy nudes on me/spammed my inbox with 100+ messages.

Still not blocking you, but you earned this for yourself. My fucking GOD not even Tehlor Kay (or any other Wenclair freak) could bring this out in me, but you did. How's it feel to be so goddamn

special ?

@hislittleraincloud what do you mean : " white f*ched it up"??? 🤔

Percy did nothing wrong. I made a long post explaining to you and the herd of wenclairs how he was targeted by the Wenclair and jemma fandom on X and how they fabricated allegations about him, and how they still regurgitate them even after they were proven false in the first two months of 2023.

We will not stand and watch you or anyone slander percy, especially after all the evidence of him being the constant target of the wenclairs because of their insane jealousy of him

These b*tches aren't even hiding their jealousy and they expose themselves everywhere on ig, x and tiktok. But some of you are still denying that they orchestrated this defamation campaign that is still going on on social media.

Like that coward @psychic-refugee 😏 who blocked me on Tumblr simply because I made posts about the wenclairs targeting Percy and constantly repeating the false allegations even after all the evidence of his innocence. Even though she talks about how toxic the wenclairs are on social media.😏

As a Metter of fact, even you @hislittleraincloud are constantly talking about how toxic the wenclairs are. But you're somehow still denying what they did to Percy.

There is no excuse for you or anyone to continue smearing Percy's name. I just pinned a post with all the evidence there. Feel free to read.

And by the way, these b**ches were never " protective of Jenna ". She was always an OBJECT to them. Like a doll they subject their sexual fantasies onto. They have literally been bullying her for two years, because she wouldn't be gay like they want her to be 🤢🤦‍♀️.

This whole allegations bull sh*t with Percy was created because these lunatics thought she was dating him while making winter spring summer or fall. ( she could have been, who knows for sure).

They saw how happy she was with a man and decided to destroy his life and force her to disown him ( at least publicly).

Jenna's worst decision was to give them what they want🤦‍♀️. She is allowing herself to be bullied and harassed. And worse than that : she is allowing them to destroy Percy's career.

[furvillaconfessions]

so i was reading one of Pink_Lemosa's posts on that white tiger shitfest and oh boy....

Please note that while I see everyone's points on this, I don't agree with those mocking this thread. You are free to disagree, but if people are going to use one-word comments and adopt white tiger villagers in protest (instead of actually entering the conversation and making a point) then...big oof, furries.

maybe people were mocking the thread because it was stupid to begin with? and i know you're against the white tigers but like... people are allowed to make a new white tiger villager? it's not against the rules or anything? while i understand most probably did that as a "protest", did you ever consider that maybe some (new) user just wanted a white tiger villager and they made one? not everyone making a white tiger villager is ""mocking"" you.or maybe they are. i don't blame anyone for mocking you lot.

Glad to know an aesthetic is more important than a living animal. 

ah yes, because obviously adopting a white tiger on furvilla (a virtual furry website) will affect the irl tigers. oh, how so very rude! now the poor tigers are definitely suffering, because of a virtual pet site.

I don't see why it matters that much anyways since people would still be allowed to make painties of white tigers.

true, people are still allowed to make white tiger painties and you pissbabies could then block them (i mean you can already block them but you know what i'm going after). you know what you can also do? get an adblocker of some sort and block the white tiger image. there, problem solved. no need to ruin things for others just because you're so offended.

also to quote a few users on that thread...

... but removing the white tiger color option from the site isn't going to do anything but make people mad

... all we are saying is this is a website/game and the color should not be removed due to what goes on in real life.

... removing the color option might upset some people because now their clearly white tiger is no longer listed as a white tiger. ... I believe some people might prefer the color being close to their paintie?

all of these are a good example on why the color shouldn't be removed. because it'll make people mad. because this is just a website/game and the color shouldn't be removed just because of real life. because some people prefer the villager's color to match their paintied villager.

personal opinion: yes, i'd be mad because i feel like this is an unnecessary change. as for the color matching the paintie, i prefer the color is close to my paintie's actual color. so if i have a white tiger paintie then yes i do want the color on the profile to be "white tiger". and i know i'm not the only one who thinks so - the starter of the whole fiasco (scariuy) made a thread and stated the following:

I have a green dragon with an old paintie I was hoping to update ... but her new paintie is black, and I wanted the colour on her profile to match that.

and before you accuse me of stalking, remember kids, it's not stalking if it's publicly available. :) anyway, back to the original shitfest of a thread:

And it was stated earlier that newbies wouldn't be able to afford painties but that's kind of the point...you have to work toward them.

so if you want to have a white tiger villager, you should work toward them? make them a paintie? really?

Besides it's not difficult to grind for the money within a week or do commissions for the FD for a paintie ticket (and there's the 90 Paintie Ticket so they could wait for that in the worse case scenario).

consider the following: not everyone has the time to play all that much during the week. some people have school, a job, you know, a life? even then, not everyone can offer commissions because newsflash: some people can't draw/write stories/etc.! some people can't get commissions no matter how hard they try! so your "just do commissions uwu" suggestion is kinda.. bad? because like i said not everyone can offer commissions. what about the people who can't play too much during the week? what if they can't visit daily, thus get the paintie ticket via daily streak? what if they can't use real money for a furry website? what then?

And anyways everyone here is pretty generous and I'm sure those that disagree with this thread could just...giveaway paintie tickets...do free painties...

ah yes, "if you disagree with us, just give paintie tickets to those who can't afford them! i mean you're so generous already so just give out free stuff lol"! umm, hello? just because people tend to be generous on furvilla, it does not mean they have to give out free paintie tickets to others just because you and your buddy are offended over white tigers on a virtual furry website. what kind of logic is that?

and the suggestion of doing free painties for people? what the fuck is wrong with you? because obviously artists should make free painties for others! because artists don't wanna get paid for their work, right?! why commission an artist to make you a white tiger paintie when you can just get one for free!! why not?! this is a brilliant idea! how about no? try respecting artists for once? they should be paid for their hard work?? even then, isn't it already kind of a problem that (usually newer) users turn out to be beggars? yeah, let's just give them free paintie tickets, that won't make them greedy and ask for more or anything, no, noooo.

... if this is such a big deal to y'all. Which apparently it is.

that's funny! the only one making a big deal out of this stupid white tiger thing is you and your buddy. i mean i guess i'm making a big deal out of it too now with this huge post? well, i'm not talking about the white tigers and how they're treated poorly, i'm talking about how you two (Pink_Lemosa & scariuy) are idiots. grow the fuck up and stop getting offended over a virtual furry website. if this stuff seriously offends you, maybe you really should leave.

... also what about those pugs and scottish folds? you don't demand them to get removed now do you, hmmm? :)

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.

[dachi-chan25]

IT (1986)

What is it about? The Losers Club, a group of 7 kids that in different ways are outsiders among the other children in the little town of Derry must come back 27 years after defeating their worst fears embodied in a evil alien entity that has preyed on this small Maine town and its recidents since the dawn of time. Thoughts: - I have read this book a gazillion times and it’s my favorite Stephen King book of all time (though that may change once I finish this challenge, but only time will tell) everytime I read through its pages is like reuniting with an old dear friend, because most of the characters (read: the Losers Club) are just that for me, I read this book for the first time when I was 15 after growing up with the 90’s miniseries, and I loved it, that feeling hasn’t changed with the years and well I want to elaborate a bit on what I love about this book. - Derry’s history: One of the reasons this book is so damn big is that it delves on the history of this little town called Derry, of course this is to help the reader understand just for how long and how big is IT’s influence on the town, but I just found it so fascinating, I’ve always loved history, and this book just reaaaally fullfiled my needs in that aspect, the town’s history is full of gruesome events but it’s very intresting and through all the same. -Loser’s Club: I love this kids, we are introduced to them little by little through different POV’s and god, I just really like the diversity and complexity in them: a kid with a stutter, an asthmatic that is really a kid heavily manipulated by his overprotective mother, an overweight, a jewish with OCD, a girl victim of physical/emotional parental abuse, the class clown that most likely has ADHD, the only black boy in town… And what I love the most is that they are NOT defined by that, sure,that is how the world sees them but they are so much more than that and together they find their true identities: Stuttering Bill be comes the Leader, Asthmatic Eddie becomes the Compass, Fat Ben becomes the Constructor, Jewish Stan becomes the Logic, Poor Beverly becomes the Shooter, Trashmouth Richie becomes the Weapon (his voces physically hurt IT), Black Mike becomes the Historian. As well as the belonging and friendship they had never had before, their relationship is strong and beautiful, as a reader you will most often find some of yourself in them and even if you don’t you love them all the same for their flaws and virtues. -IT: I read somewhere that a story is only as great as its villian and in IT’s case that I think is only fitting, thus my love for is evil entity, because IT is really a big represantation of violence not necessarily(The Bradley Gang Shooting was afterall motivated by the Derry townsfolk rightgeousness) but mostly evil, IT transforms into awfull gruesome monsters yet his most terrifying act is the influence it helds on the people inhabiting Derry, on taking the violent nature of some people (Derry’s White Decency League, Eddie Corcoran stepfather’s, Alvin Marsh, Butch and Henry Bowers…) and exploit it for its own gain, IT is scary for it’s power, for the fact that one can really comprehend it’s magitude, and when we finally get to get inside it’s head we find something more akin to a beast, hungry and vengeful, he had turned lazy because he already had in Derry a comfortable feeding place and now wants to kill the Loser’s Club because for the first time in its long existance IT feels fear! and how wonderful is that? a group of scared isolated kids find strenght in each other to rid their Town and follow kids of this entity, even if they are afraid themselves, and they succeed in frightening a creature that literally feeds of fear. -The portrayal of the timelines and gruesome subjects: The 1950 are not usted only for aesthetics or praised as the “good old times” King shows a very gritty reality showcasing the racism (very prominent in Mike’s storyline), sexism, homophobia, domestic violence, anti-semitism,and it goes further yet showing that 27 years later these things haven’t changed and IT uses them for it’s benefit. The book doesn’t shy away from any of these things and often it is very hard to read through them but as well I think is important to read them to gain concience,they are not presented as good or romantiziced in any from or way, nor should they ever be (dude the anti-semitism in Patricia Uris’s POV is something that will open your eyes in many ways if you are not jewish, and the Black Spot story will horrify you but also help you understand it was not only the South of USA and the KKK that spread hate and horror for PoC people) this things are meant to horrify you thus I feel it would be a disservice not to read them (though I can understand if anyone simply can’t). -The bittersweet ending: Really heart breaking that after reuniting with the people they could really be themselves with the Loser’s Club are meant to not remember each other ( SPOILERS AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T WANNA SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING OF THE BOOK: as a side note and I do not mean this as hate to the ship or anything but a real doubt I have can anyone explain to me why is everyone saying/asuming Ben and Beverly did end up together?, I mean going by the 90’s miniseries sure, but in the book Mike only says she is going to Nebraska with Ben and then back to Chicago with Kay and that he thinks they are/will be having sex, but also later we find that even if they are in the same Town Mike and Bill have begun to forget each other and it’s heavily implied the same will happen with them all? and that is a very Stephen King thing to do I mean most of the book couples I’ve read from him have similar bittersweet endings so… Pls someone explain) I just always about cry about the End and you know the THING that happens with two of the losers. But also I am a ho for this kind of bittersweet stuff so of course I love it. -Richie and Beverly’s friendship: Listen I LIVE for them, of course I just about adore every Loser’s friendship (Bill/Eddie, Richie/Stan, Richie/Eddie, Richie/Bill, Mike/Ben, Stan/Bev duuuude everyone is amazing) but this two just about make me crazy about them, tbh I kinda lowkey ship them in a platonic kinda way, and I was endlessly frustrated by the lack of scenes between them in the 90’s miniseries after I read the book cuz booooy, the yo-yo scene is so goddamned amazing, Richie being the first POV in which Bev is mentioned and he reminds her through the lyric of a song, his Humphrey Bogart voice he does when speaking with her, how much he respects her, also Miss Sca'lett!!!, not to mention that sweet ass scene they have in the book “22/11/63” where Bev is teaching Richie how to swing for a school talent show, ahhhh Imma stop right there cuz I am fangirling waaaay to much and probably y'all think I am wierd for liking such an unpopular thing. -There is just one thing I always felt was completely unecessary to add and was gross to read (you already know what I am talking about and if not I’m not gonna spoil you/gross you out), I have read of course why SK did it but I still think he should have looked for another way to make the Losers enter adulthood : / Movie/TV Adaptations: There are 2: The ABC’s 1990 miniseries “IT” and the 2017 movie by Andy Muschietti “IT (chapter 1)” of course it has been already confirmed there is going to be another movie for the Second part but I will not to go too much into it now. 1990: The opinions on this one are very polarized, some love it with a passion, some hate it… I actually love it, and by that I do not mean is a perfect adaptation, but it was such an integral part of my childhood and family life that it would be impossible for me to hate it, and I feel most people are terribly unfair with it, because it is not a Bad adaptation like let’s say Kubrick’s Shining (yaa I’m going there) it had a lot of limitations in budget and technology and still managed to capture some of the best parts of the book (the Loser’s friendship mainly, it was beautiful) of course it wasn’t gorey or violent but in it’s time it was scary as hell, which beings me to Tim Curry’s performance as Pennywise that became so iconic people automatically recognize the clown’s design, for fuck’s sake Pennywise became one of the most iconic monsters of that time and terrorized an entire generation of kids and adults alike, of course it has it’s faults (the adult’s part wasn’t great, tho the scene with Bev in Mrs. Kersh house was great, and the ending was bound to be confusing af to people that didn’t read the book) but overall it was a good atempt and it already has a place in pop culture and the hearts of many horror fans. 2017: Oh boy I was really looking forward to this one since they anounced it was going to be a thing (ahhh remember the time Will Poulter and Cary Fukunaga were our only hope?) and just had the chance to see it today, because a lot of awful things happened in my country (I am mexican btw) and yeah, so I left the theater with a very pleasant sensation IT 2017 is a great movie and I LOVED it, the acting was GREAT everyone did amazing, Georgie’s death scene was simply amazing and so sad, the projector scene was wow, lots of winks to book readers like the turtle and Eddie Corcoran’s missing pamphlet, Bev’s bathroom scene, the rock fight!!!,Eddie changing Loser to Lover is iconic, some of Richie’s one-liners were amazing, Pennywise dance pfffftt, Ben was adorable with his crush and love of New Kids on the Block, the Losers,“they’re Gazebos they’re bullshit!” iconic, mainly I feel it captured the general feeling of the book however that does not mean I didn’t had some issues with it as well, first thing that bothered me a LOT is the treatment to Mike Hanlon, excuse the fuck out of me but no, they took his thing (history of Derry) and gave it to Ben (also Ben not constructing things like ??? Could have been a perfect chance to have him build lego stuff but k) where is my beautiful spring loving child?? I just couldn’t find any single trait on his character apart from the wierd sheep thing and his parents, which takes me to another issue why is every adult on Derry so shitty? Like yeah there was a lot of shady awful stuff in the book but there were also ok people namely Mrs. Starret (the librarian, that is so unnecesarily creppy? Wierd? In the movie), Richie’s parents (his dad is hillarious), Mike’s parents they are the best tbh, Mr Keene (ok this one is a sarcastic asshole but he did try to help Eddie instead of letting him keep on believing he was sick to keep selling stuff, and also was never a wierd pervert), Mr. Nell (dude I would have killed to hear Richie doing the Irish Cop voice), the Tracker Brothers (boy Eddie looking longingly at the baseball diamond would have been 10/10, my boy loved sports)… thing is the Losers did love Derry and some parts of their childhood in it and that’s were the nostalgia hits on part two, Stan well I loved they delved more onto his jewishness (a thing not much touched in the book because Stan’s family is not very strictly religious) but was very side lined as well ( in my opinion that part about Richie being scared shitless and Bill punches him would have fit Stan better, also almost all of the Losers got closure (Bev rebelled against her father, Ben kissed Beverly and she got to find out he was the one who wrote the haiku, Bill got to talk with Georgie kind of?, Mike stepped up against Henry, Eddie confronted his mother,Richie let go of his fear to kill the fucking clown…) yet Stan doesn’t I just think it would have been nice to have him iniciate the pact as he did on the book and also his bird book????, the slut shaming and over sexualization of Beverly (I won’t even go into how much it broke my heart to see/hear Richie saying all that stuff about her like no, he respected her a lot thx) just why change the white trash problem to a slut shaming thing???(also while his dad did not beat her in this movie he was so much more GROSS than in the 90’s) I am however not bothered by the ‘Kiss of Life’ trope nor do I think she was reduced to a damsel in distress if anything she was the bravest of them all, also some things not really bothered me but made me wonder what will happen in Chapter 2 namely wft is gonna happen with Henry is he alive?? Same for Bev’s dad what happened there? Is he alive? Is he dead? Though of course we will get answers in chapter 2 I was just like wow how is this gonna pan out. Basically an amazing movie I was not disappointed at all and I would love to watch it again but as an adaptation I think I would still love to see a longish miniseries covering more of Derry’s history and the kid’s personalities/misadventures (of course I do not want THAT scene to be in any adaptation ever) but generally covering more book stuff. but hey all this is just my humble opinion and I admit I adore the book, though I am not closed off to changes just those things kinda made me go hmmmmmm…. Quotes: Stan: “Every- thing’s a lot tougher when it’s for real. That’s when you choke. When it’s for real.” “He wanted to tell them that those dead boys who had lurched and shambled their way down the spiral staircase had done something worse than frighten him: they had offended him.” Bill: “If fiction and politics ever really do become interchangeable, I’m going to kill myself, because I won’t know what else to do. You see, politics always change. Stories never do” “Silver flew and Stuttering Bill Denbrough flew with him; their gantry-like shadow fled behind them. They raced down Up-Mile Hill together; the playing cards roared. Bill’s feet found the pedals again and he began to pump, wanting to go even faster, wanting to reach some hypothetical speed — not of sound but of memory — and crash through the pain barrier.” Richie:“Now he had to go back to being himself, and that was hard — it got harder to do that every year. It was easier to be brave when you were someone else.” “He knew a great deal of the Bible already, and he knew the Bible believed in all sorts of weird stuff. According to the Bible, God Himself was at least one-third Ghost, and that was just the beginning. You could tell the Bible believed in demons, because Jesus threw a bunch of them out of this guy. Real chuckalicious ones, too. When Jesus asked the guy who had them what his name was, the demons answered and told Him to go join the Foreign Legion. Or something like that” (#make chuckalicious happen 2k17) Ben: “Maybe that’s why God made us kids first and built us close to the ground, because He knows you got to fall down a lot and bleed a lot before you learn that one simple lesson. You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for … and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.” “A child blind from birth doesn’t even know he’s blind until someone tells him. Even then he has only the most academic idea of what blindness is; only the formerly sighted have a real grip on the thing. Ben Hanscom had no sense of being lonely because he had never been anything but. If the condition had been new, or more localized, he might have understood, but loneliness both encompassed his life and overreached it. It simply was.” Eddie: “Sometimes home is where the heart is, Eddie thought randomly, I believe that. Old Bobby Frost said home’s the place where, when you go there they have to take you in. Unfortunately, it’s also the place where, once you’re in there, they don’t ever want to let you out.” “Maybe, he thought, there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends - maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you’re hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they’re always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe worth dying for too, if that’s what has to be. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.” Mike: “Haunted, haunting, haunt.Often visited by ghosts or spirits, as in the pipes under the sink; to appear or recur often, as every twenty-five, twenty-six, or twenty-seven years; a feeding place for animals, as in the cases of George Denbrough, Adrian Mellon, Betty Ripsom, the Albrecht girl, the Johnson boy.A feeding place for animals. Yes, that’s the one that haunts me.” “But Mike enjoyed most of the places in Derry his father sent or took him to, and by the time Mike was ten Will had succeeded in conveying his own interest in the layers of Derry’s history to his son. Sometimes, as when he had been trailing his fingers over the slightly pebbled surface of the stand in which the Memorial Park birdbath was set, or when he had squatted down to look more closely at the trolley tracks which grooved Mont Street in the Old Cape, he would be struck by a profound sense of time … time as something real, as something that had unseen weight” Bev: “oh shapes of men, sometimes seen as day closed down, sometimes seen across Watertower Square in the noonlight of a clear windy autumn day, shapes of men, rules of men, desires of men: or Tom, so like her father when he took off his shirt and stood slightly slumped in front of the bathroom mirror to shave. Shapes of men.” ‘Is it because I’m a girl?’[…] she exploded.‘Well, fuck you!’ She whirled around to look at the others, and they flinched from her gaze,so hot it was nearly radioactive. 'Fuck all of you if you think the same thing!’ She turned back to Bill and began to talk fast, rapping him with words. 'This is something more than some diddlyshit kid’s game like tag or guns or hide-and-go-seek, and you know it, Bill. We’re supposed to do this. That’s part of it. And you’re not going to cut me out just because I’m a girl.“ Adding this one cuz I love how stupidly cute it is and cuz that Richie is such a charmer XD (wot-wot?) ”[…]'Oh dear, am I being asked out on a date?’ For a moment Richie was uncharacteristically flustered. He actually felt a blush rising in his cheeks. He had made the offer in a perfectly natural way, just as he had made it to Ben … except hadn’t he said something to Ben about owesies? Yes. But he hadn’t said anything about owesies to Beverly. Richie suddenly felt a bit weird. He had dropped his eyes, retreating from her amused glance, and realized now that her skirt had ridden up a bit when she shifted forward to drop the ice-cream cone in the litter barrel, and he could see her knees. He raised his eyes but that was no help; now he was looking at the beginning swells of her bosoms. Richie, as he usually did in such moments of confusion, took refuge in absurdity. 'Yes! A date!’ he screamed, throwing himself on his knees before her and holding his clasped hands up. 'Please come! Please come! I shall ruddy kill meself if you say no, ay-wot? Wot-wot?’ 'Oh, Richie, you’re such a fuzzbrain,’ she said, giggling again … but weren’t her cheeks also a trifle flushed? If so, it made her look prettier than ever. 'Get up before you get arrested.’“

Next Book: “The Eyes of the Dragon”

[cold-iron-burns]

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

:)

[inspirationallyinsane]

July 9th 2018

Tumblrrrrr :D It's me. Your fav. I'm so good. Yes. So good. My life is incredibly full and I'm a full ass person and it's cool. I'm not going to lie though, I haven't put myself in a position for disappointment for a while. Not since Vince. I wasn't sure if I would. I'm not sure if I want to. And obviously Vince was a whole lot more than disappointment. But! Similar. Heartbreak is just like, exaggerated disappointment. You feel loss? Waste? Sadness? It's interesting, I think. I've only been truly heartbroken twice in my life. Lmao I did not set out to write about this but I guess we're going to. Um. And both of those times I think that I almost enjoyed it in a strange way. I remember after Vince just dipped tf out I was so completely broken that the whole world seemed different. I was watching it happen, but not living in it. I wasn't present for shit. It was like a quasi-death. A part of me died and was watching the rest of me function and be a person, but in reality? I was not a full person. I was half a person, half watching things happen, half experiencing things. And then!!! There were moments when suddenly that part of me re-entered my body?? My soul?? And the colors were bright again. Brighter than they ever had been. The most beautiful moments I have ever known. It was very similar with Austin but the difference was that I was not present for a lot longer after him. I dipped out for a solid two years after Austin. Well. Until I met Vince. And that was not good. I was not good. Somehow I have learned how to fix myself. I learned how to escape the lie and keep myself present. It's neat. 3 months? It only took 3 months. I can do anything for three months. So. What is heartbreak to me now? What is the risk? What is the sadness, really? I thought my love died to him, I thought he had won, beat me. He had swung his sword enough, finally slayed me. But I was wrong af. I have never been happier and healthier than I am now. Last night was fun. It was a good time. Yesterday was incredible. My song did well for its first day. I got a lot more listens than I did on any of my others when I first released them. And chocolate texted me about it :) I'm not sure how interested in pursuing that I am at this point. It was fun writing the song and the lyrics are fun but in reality? I'm really leaning more towards the "no" side at this point. I was in a different situation when I wrote that, when I met him. And he's fun and I don't doubt that it would be fun. I do hope to see him again before I can't again. But. There's no sure things about what will happen. I like things to develop kinda naturally and smoothly. I don't wanna force anything. Just cuz I write a song about sucking some dude's dick, doesn't mean I necessarily will. And I actually had a lot of other people text me about it too!!! All good things!!! No bad feedback on this one. Genuinely I am shocked. I got soooo much shit for my other songs. Like. So much. And some of it was dumb shit, like this kid from my youth group left a comment on one of my songs and it was about how one of my lyrics was "wrong" but it just went over his head a bit. And so now I kinda laugh about it, but I'm so hungry for every single person's praise and love that at the time it was hurtful!! I was like??? Wtf. Why did you feel the need to say that on my soundcloud? I see you every week you weirdo? I could've explained the lyric to you, and then neither of us look bad. Could've saved both of us embarrassment. But no. You just had to go and do that. Idiot. "Idiot" is one of my favorite things to say now. Just how Dwight says it in the office. Dwight is the cutest. He's my fav. We're similar, I think. Obviously he is a character, and in many ways, I am too, just not as violent, perhaps. Haha. But driven and excitable and unsure and sensitive. I am easily messed with. Idk. People tell me I'm like Dwight. Who tf knows. Anyway. So yes, my song release was a success. And my picture didn't get taken down from insta! Which is awesome. I like it a lot. I look hella fine. I always look fine tho. Let's be real. Umm and then the rest of my day was very nice too :) Significantly better than expected for sure. Not that I exactly thought it wouldn't be good. I knew, to some extent, as I usually do with these things. But. 11 hours is a long time to spend with someone. I don't do that often. If ever? Have I ever? 11 hours. I think the last time I did that was when I went to Bandon with Scott. When I was 16. Woah. That's crazy to think about. I mean, I guess it's not super normal. People don't do that. They should though, maybe. It's fun. It's nice. I'm not sure how much I should say. I like to talk/write about things, in depth. However, that isn't always smart. Not always a good idea. Sometimes, it's a good idea to keep your feelings all up inside of you. And it's about 50/50 with my judgement calls on these sorts of things. Like Chocolate? I was concerned that might be a bit much, and it turned out fine. Better than fine. The response was good. But like when I wrote about shit with Zach I did not expect such an aggressively upset response. So. Wtf do I know, really? Ok. So. Here's the thing. I'll just say this. And it's going to be difficult and upsetting for me not to say a whole lot more. But I'm not going to. I have a lot of thoughts, and a lot of things going on inside of my head. And I'm not sure if I'm putting myself in a good situation, I'm not sure if I trust the situation. And yet, as I tend to do, I will trust the situation and let the things happen to me and see what happens. End of story. Also!!! I started writing another song today!!! That's exciting. I've never jumped into a new one so soon after I released one. I'm happy with how this one is going too. I have a chorus and the first verse. Kinda pounded that shit out in about ten minutes. I was inspired. I think I'm going to call it Bury, Bloom. Some of you, well, like two of my readers may know what I'm referencing there. Lmao. I don't tend to write things to or for or about people that I know they will never read/listen to. But I believe this is one of those times. She won't ever see this or hear this. Unless things change dramatically. But I'm a pussy and so they won't. Oh well. Here's a thing that I have been thinking about; I think that identifying the line of events in life is really important. I wrote a little bit about this a few months ago but I haven't really been able to get it out of my head. I think this might connect to the meaning thing. And maybe that is why my subconscious (?) is telling me it is important. I'm having to start with myself. From the beginning. This thing led to this thing and then this and that, so on and so forth until every passing second. Endlessly. Until I die. Um. But it's like, every single person, every single thing, every single thought, has influenced my actions which create who I am today. Similarly, I have had a part in creating a part of everything around me, things that are inconceivable to me. Actions I have taken, actions I have not, all of it. Indecision is decision in itself. Stagnation is an action. How does it tie into meaning? I don't know. I gotta think about that. The machine. The machine though! I'm a part in the machine and the machine would function differently if I functioned differently. Ok. Ok. So if the machine can, certainly can, function differently and "produce" different things, then it must!!! It must be producing for a reason. Why though? What reason? What is the production for? I've been thinking about the refrigerator thing a lot too. That little gift of a metaphor that Benadryl gave me. So. Here's how I see it, right? The multiverse exists. Right? Almost definitely. There is a "universe", a time, in which matter doesn't exist. Matter, energy, none of it exists. There is no refrigerator at all. It isn't even about whether someone is using it or watching it or appreciating it, it simply isn't there. And you have to think of it this way, perhaps: A home, a universe, in which a fridge never existed would not miss the fridge because it does not know the fridge. But! If a home that already had a fridge all of a sudden did not have one, there would be a noticeable difference. If! Time were different, if TimeTM were to suddenly break, as we know it to be, the machine could cease. SO! Since the machine exists at all, and there is a lack of machines as well, the machine existing in the first place must mean something. It must have purpose. It has to. Because otherwise it just wouldn't exist. Why though. That's the thing. I can't outrun all the "why though"s. It's endless with these sorts of things and I could throw it right back but I don't like to argue like that. Why though? Is a valid question, and I would like to know. So you know what?? I will take your why though and turn it into a solid answer. I've progressed quite a bit over just the last few weeks even. Hm. Maybe if I can tie the two things I just talked about together that might get me even further. Fuck Kant. He can't kill philosophy for me. I'll know the shit you glorified con man. Nice job killing the conversation, you garbage person. I like most philosophers, no lie. But Kant? Socrates? Assholes. No good. Not worth their salt. That's what I say. Plato?? Wayy better than Socrates. 100%. Socrates can suck me. Anyway. I'll get really upset if I keep writing about Socrates. Lord knows. Tumblr. Thank you for giving me a place to put my ramblings :) y'all are wonderful. I know a lot of people only follow me for my selfies cuz they're a little slutty and sexual like 90% of the time, but I don't really care. Maybe the reason doesn't matter as much as the existence of it at all :p lol. Look at that. Life is cool. I love being alive. It's funny because I've been thinking recently I might die. Because that would be so ironic. I think that would be a little funny. Not in a "haha she died" sorta way but it's like, I have always wanted to die. Since the moment I was old enough to have real feelings. 13? Probably. I have seriously considered suicide for years and years and years. I've felt dead, at least in part, a majority of my quasi-adult life. And now I do not. For the first time ever. For the first time I am excited to wake up, I'm excited to think, I'm excited to be me. I'm excited for my future. I think it'd be really ironic if I died rn. Like the kind of irony that I would wanna write about. I think if I were about to die right now I'd be really disappointed I couldn't write a poem about it. I'd be a mad ghost. Someone better write about the irony of my death if I die. Ya know?? Ok. I haveee to try to sleep. Again, thanks for listening Tumblr. Hopefully I will be able to write more specifically about many things, soonish. Goodnight, until next time :D