#i mean we're running away from the far right rn we're sure as fuck not staying in our houses

[snekdood]

this is so true 😩 absolutely 0 survival skills

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

[marmotsomsierost]

Me, at 1644: hm, we're down to like 9 people in the ed and only 2 in lobby. Should i take my 30min meal break?

Me: nah, i'll go at like 1730 or so

Universe: bet

Me, at 1720: eh i'll go now i guess-

Fast track RN: hey can you do a walking boot on (pt)?

Me: sure

Me: ....where the *fuck* is our brace cart

Surgery RN: it's here

Me: that's not our cart. It doesn't look right.

Surgery RN: well if it's ours, i mean as long as you know to have them fill out the form, it doesn't really matter.

Me: i mean yeah but i just- we don't use the tall boots, there's none of the regular boots.

Charge RN: that's our cart.

Me: but it- (i spot a short boot at the very back of the cart, turn the cart around, it looks like it's supposed to) -okay it's our cart nevermind.

Charge RN: *cackles*

Me, at 1735ish: okay *now* i will go on b-

PA: hey can you chaperone a pelvic with me real quick?

Me: ok

Me, at 1740ish: i'm gonna- okay there's three EKGs suddenly ok cool- Hey (other tech) you wanna split those?

Me, at 1747, walking up to the computer to (finally) document the two boots and a sling i've done so far: okay! I'm-

(Slow pan over line out the door in the lobby)

Me: ....sigh

(There is some incredibly frustrating stuff that happens in the next 30min that i am redacting bc if i write it all out i will be back into murder everything mode and i want to go to bed)

Me, at 1818: okay. EKG done. I'm going on break.

Me, at 1819: fuck i forgot to file the forms

Me, at 1820: okay! I'm-

Charge RN: hey did you do that ekg at triage?

Me: yeah. It's not clearing? Lemme go check the machine, maybe it ate it

Me, standing in front of machine, the misty ominous fog of hindsight curling around me: god fucking dammit, (triage RN), your bullshit pissed me off so badly i fucked up my routine

Me, at 1822ish: hey, RT, can you fix this mismatch?

RT: yeah, but I'll need you to find Minadonat

Me: yeah, a- what?

RT: mine adonat, you'll owe me

Me, baffled, exhaustifrustangrisappointefused, about .9 microns away from running for the fucking hills: i don't know what you-

RT: a donut. I want a donut.

Me: ohhhh. I didn't hear- i don't have any donuts. I have- i have some calamansi lime candies?

RT, clearly trying to hold his laughter: no, no, it's fine, i'm walking, I'll be there in a second.

(RT and i go over the mismatch info, he's like yeah I'll fix it, might not go through til morning but it's fine, and I'm like ok, lemme go get a copy first)

Alert overhead: stroke alert, stroke bed, eta 8 minutes

Copier: lmao bitch you want me to go faster? Babygirl you should NOT have shown fear

( i show the doc, explain to clerk, ask her to scan it in to chart so it's at least there until rt can fix it)

(stroke arrives. Other tech is still placing yet another fucking walking boot so i get ready to stick w/ stroke until he can take over.)

Me, 1836: oh we're feisty. Wrestle time.

(Side thought, are they just not teaching how to control joints and extremities in medic school anymore, or did i learn it in martial arts and just forgot it wasn't from school, bc wtf)

(Somewhere around 1850 or 1900 or so a *second* stroke alert sounds, which is just so great when you gotta restrain and sedate and intubate and THEN get the pt the fuck to CT)

Me, 1925ish: okay back from ct, pt back on monitor/vent/etc, but other tech is now tied up with the other stroke so i gotta stay back here

Me, 1950: okay! Gonna run up to triage and tell the triage nurse i'm taking my-

ED Clerk: hey can you do this ekg in 8?

Me: a second one?

ED Clerk: it never got done, or it's not in the chart at least

Me: i told the doc! I gave it to the earlier clerk to scan in since RT is definitely not gonna have the time to fix it tonight. Hold on, i'll go check when exactly that was-

ED Clerk, 1954ish: it's fine, it's there, he forgot

Me: cool

Fast Track RN, 1955: can you do another walking boot? (continues talking about how they had to redo a splint and fit a sling while i was gone with the stroke and how they think they got it right but they wished i was there to do it)

Me, 2016, trying to figure out why the fuck the boot isn't fitting right without absolutely losing it in front of the patient or reducing their confidence: let me start over here, make sure the liner is seated properly

Liner: hey i'm a size large in a size medium shell

Me, internally: how the FUCK

Me, externally: that's. Creative. One moment, i need to the right size LINER for the shell

Pt: really? But it was sealed when you brought it over

Me: i know! It's great to have some ✨️creative mystery✨️ to liven up your day!

Me, almost done with the boot: ok, so here's the instructions, please sign here-

Charge RN: where's M? Who's got that EKG out front

ED RN who can see me from their position: M's doing a brace fit

Other tech: oh, you're back from break?

Me, trying to hold crazed grimace back via slightly less unhinged smile: i never went! I'm almost-

Other tech: oh i got it! I'll get the pt.

Me, like 2020 maybe, idk, wtf is time at this point: okay. Chart the boot, fix the earlier ekg time charting so it's more clear, then i's a lil ridiculous to take my break with an hour left in my shift but wtfever

Triage lobby, 2027: heyyyy look what i got, yup, it's a line out the door!

Me: okay. Fuck it. You win, universe.

Patient, 2043: hey where is the charge nurse. They said they were gonna come talk with me and they never did.

(This is the same patient who, when it was patently obvious that two critical patients had showed up within 15min of each other bc the activity level and population/distribution of staff drastically changed, said the doctor had to come see them now because they'd been waiting for 40 minutes, so i am assuming they want to complain about that. Which'll be entertaining bc the same nurse who went in to say the doc would get there when he got there bc we have two patients we are stopping from dying, and if you are ever waiting long for a doctor it's a good thing because you are not dying IS the charge nurse)

Me: i can go see. What did you need? A ride? You don't need the charge rn for that. They'll call up if they can get one. Did you ask for one from your nurse? No? Okay.

Me, to charge rn: hey is this pt getting a ride?

Charge rn: no. (With a distinct vibe of hell no) they said they had family coming. We specifically charged their phone right here (points at desk) so they could call their family.

Me: ok

Me, to pt: yeah there's no rides available, sorry. It's kinda how the system works. Taxi? I can get you the number, but they basically never have cabs, but you can use-

Pt: no, that's okay i guess. My family is coming they're just 20 minutes away and i didn't want to wait.

Me:

Me:

Me: okay

(I walk back to update charge rn)

Me: i hate everybody

Charge RN: wow, we got M saying she hates everybody, you know it's bad

Me: they wanted. A ride. Because their family. Is. TWENTY MINUTES AWAY.

Charge RN: yup, sounds right.

Me, 2121: i'm filling out the time sheet for missing my 30 and i am going the fuck home

Other tech: hey thank you for staying late! No, no, i'm kidding. Thank you for your help though!

Me, 2138, at my car, having extricated the cat-pee-bag i shoved under it to avoid hotboxing my car with cat peeover the course of the day: you know? Fuck it. I am booking it over to the dutch bros before they close at 2200. I started today with cat piss on my work bag and it went somehow DOWNHILL from there.

[punkscowardschampions]

America & Libi

America: This is gonna sound thirsty as hell cos it is 👌 America: your boyfriend's friend, Sean America: do I have a shot? Libi: 😂 Thirst away, I know he would be SO flattered Libi: Bobby isn't MY boyfriend, but that's by the by and so not why you're in my inbox right now Libi: well, he isn't dating anyone, that I know of, I'll ask Bobby to confirm but I'm like 99% sure Libi: and of course he thinks you're cool, you guys would be a sweet match America: He ISN'T? I thought - never.mind 🤫 America: anywayyy America: did he say I was cool? LOL yeah I really feel it now Libi: Everyone says that, don't worry Libi: we're just best friends Libi: Awh, don't be silly! I'm not going to go tell him word for word Libi: like that's not an exact quote but I know the few times we've hung out all together he's had a good time, specifically hanging out with you America: if you're gay I'm like really sorry for getting your hopes up with my thirsty opener! America: Sean does not deserve that quick of a U-turn from me Libi: Not, so you're totally cool and not on the gay girl shit-list Libi: not for this anyway, I don't know who is, officially Libi: He talked about your party for AGES after Libi: even though that got cut short 😕 did you get in so much trouble? America: The reaction from my sister alone would be reason to do it but I don't think I can commit that hard to you & that idea America: maybe if Sean says no America: I hope he didn't say anything about that part of the party when he was talking about it or I'll have to go crawl in a hole America: or bury my mam's boyfriend in one America: did you get to have any fun? I literally don't remember seeing you when we left your house Libi: Well, she is my biggest fan Libi: who's 💔 is theoretically worse, hers or mine rn? Libi: Just what we were all thinking Libi: which was that we thought that guy might keel over if he didn't 🤐 sooner rather than later Libi: so I'm glad you're already making funeral plans though not because that must suck Libi: no, we had a good time, lost in the crowd seems like the answer America: Jake is the only one with any power to 💖✂ her, don't worry, & she's my biggest fan for pointing out on the regs he's a waste of unblemished skin America: we were making all kinds of plans before she got 🍆💫 America: guess I'm on my own with keeping the good times coming ➜ Libi: 🤨 I'm not sure I've heard him say anything interesting before Libi: It's usually a lot of posing and preening, right Libi: but who am I to judge America: 🤣 I'm on the classroom floor rolling America: neither of them are looking for intellectual stimulation from each other Libi: 😅 Apologies to your teacher Libi: I'll pretend my 😳 is paint America: Miss visibly wants to get me diagnosed with something, it's a long-running thing we have going Libi: Like it makes them any more equipped to deal when they have a name for something Libi: must be a funding issue Libi: but that's a rant for another day 🤓 America: Sean is gonna have his work cut out now America: get your not boyfriend to tell him, game on, but he's in competition with you Libi: I'll go easy on him 😉 Libi: oh, and he is 100% single and 100% tried to read that message so America: misbehaviour puts him back in the 🏃 Libi: Damn Libi: Would helping you have a meet-cute with him bizarrely help my case? America: how cute? sharing in my sister's delusions is a turn off Libi: I don't think he's that kind of guy Libi: BUT it would not be weird for me to bring you along to hang with my not boyfriend and it wouldn't be any weirder if he asked Sean, casually America: which means what I've been thinking about him is right America: & you don't have to be disqualified for trying to drag me into some fake paradise where everyone is in love with themselves Libi: I mean, like all boys Libi: or most, I would be asked to ** in Libi: he talks a bigger game than he has, but I mean that in the best possible way, honestly Libi: he's nicer than he can sometimes sound, you know what I mean? America: me too, I hope Libi: You sound nice Libi: thirst and all America: I scared you away before, couldn't let that happen before I got what I wanted from you Libi: No, that was your mum's fella Libi: I promise Libi: I'm just not a party pro America: that's what I mean, before at your 🏠 I could tell you two were out of your depth Libi: I hope you didn't take it as a personal, you and your party thing though America: it wasn't my party Libi: Sorry, no doubt she'd be 😤 over my lack of distinction there Libi: you know what I mean America: I'm just a guest that she didn't really want there, like you Libi: I don't get the whole sibling thing Libi: only child perk and curse, I guess Libi: but I'm not anti-party or anti-you, for the record Libi: just less initiated America: & I'm not anti-anyone cos Chi is, putting that on the record while we're stating facts Libi: Fair enough 🤝 Libi: I don't take it personally from her, also btw Libi: how she has been about Bobs, moreso but that's not on you so like ❌ America: she acts like she burst out of her crib knowing how to do a smoky eye & what shots she liked best America: you've got time to get initiated if you want to America: & yeah, I know she's a dick about anyone not in her ⬛ of perceived coolness Libi: I've got very little shame in how far away from a smoky eye I was as a kid 😂 Libi: She's not the only one Libi: ⬛ are boring Libi: more boring than I probably seemed that night Libi: 🤞 America: I thought you were just 😍💖 America: that's a lot of people in my life right now though so that's probably why Libi: Oh God, you do not need to tell me Libi: I feel like EVERYONE is suddenly, it's wild America: & now me jumping into your inbox America: what's in the water? Libi: I'm sure the Bio teachers are screaming hormones right now Libi: 😬 gross but true America: Whatever the reason, I didn't mean to contribute to the 💖💣 in your face Libi: You're so beyond fine Libi: not anti-love Libi: or a nun America: you'd be in luck if you were, we aren't calling this love Libi: 😍💖? Libi: Gotcha America: interest America: the 1st I've broadcast Libi: Worth pursuing Libi: I hope I've helped confirm, anyway America: maybe we'll end up just friends like you & Bobby or < America: but I think he's worth pursuing Libi: no harming in 👀 or trying, right America: for the right people Libi: I'll drink to that Libi: not right RIGHT now though because that is paintbrush water and I've made that mistake before 🤢 America: vivid flashbacks to your pre-party drinking face America: shock & disgust Libi: Oh nooooooo 😭 Libi: really sold myself as life of the 🥳 Libi: 😂🙄 America: It wasn't any different for me, if you'd be there to see it Libi: No one is doing it for the taste yet are they Libi: I refuse to believe America: I don't think anyone's doing it for the taste ever America: wine or whiskey snobs only wanna show off America: & that's grown adults Libi: My granddad would be so offended 😅 America: If he wants to try & change my mind, I'll come over Libi: Sounds fun Libi: but also like a potential way for him to lose his license so maybe we'll keep it between us America: Why can't he use his words without bringing the 🍷🥃? America: it's like those people who are all about how 🌶🌶🌶 or rare something is America: you wish you were 💪 we understand Libi: I didn't know you just wanted a debate but that's cool too Libi: come over any time, like America: it's off the table at my house America: he'll start blowing a whistle & stop all verbal communication soon America: not a nun either so I assume I won't be into it Libi: Yikes, he should try getting a 🐶 or two Libi: even then, probably be disappointed, soz America: I'll pitch the idea as long as it ends in disappointment Libi: if he doesn't love puppies you know he's not the one America: I know that about him already America: What's Sean's stance? Libi: Good question Libi: I shall 💬 America: don't lie to score points yourself, I'll find out Libi: [so many dog pictures which clearly aren't just her and Killer but her and Twix and Bobby too] Libi: ➕ America: OMG Libi: Yeah 😎 Libi: they're old ladies now but they were puppies once [a throwback we just have] America: Miss is gonna live for this U-turn from 🤣 to 🥺 America: name that personality disorder, bitch Libi: Looking like a poor taste budget horror Libi: LOVE that America: get my good side with that 📹 of yours Libi: but every personality Libi: Got this 🎬 America: every personality's best bits Libi: I wish I could fix everything in post Libi: life would be so ✨ America: edit out Gary America: make Chi less of a cow America: make my other sister reappear Libi: So wild to me how your sister used to be 'round my grandma's at the same time I was and I really can only just remember those days Libi: what is she up to now? America: 😍💖 Libi: Ah Libi: of course Libi: like everyone else in the world America: but you know, with a rented flat & office job Libi: The grown-ups version Libi: I feel you America: I don't know what the fuck we're calling what my mam is playing at America: but yeah, give my sister more grown up points than that Libi: How long has he been on the scene, Gary? America: too long LOL America: but that'd be 1 date in his case Libi: I can't imagine how awkward that must be when it's your mum and your house Libi: it's bad enough when a friend or an auntie or something dates a dickhead America: she's dated fuckwits for as long as she's dated America: but they don't usually see a month in Libi: I'll 🤞 he's gone sooner rather than later America: Thanks Libi: You're okay, right? Libi: That might be weird to ask America: I guarantee it's weirder to answer Libi: You don't have to, that was out of line Libi: but if you wanted to, I wanted to give you the chance, even though all I can do is listen Libi: but we can as easily leave it America: I'm 👌 in the sense that he's probably not gonna murder us all in our beds Libi: That's always something America: but if your grandad decides to leave your nan, I'm down to move in & have nightly debates Libi: It's been nearly 60 years so Libi: he's either overdue or change or you're out of luck Libi: but you're still invited to come crash when you need America: unless Sean makes me a better offer, you win Libi: Of course, of course America: unlikely, I can't really open with please rescue me Libi: Might be a bit strong Libi: but the spare room doesn't come with any of those connotations America: Can I have the dog too? Libi: She'll have to decide for herself, it would be rude for me to Libi: but she's pretty chill as long as you give her treats or attention so it's likely America: What's her name? Libi: Killer Libi: I did not name her America: 😶 I don't really get to say anyone's got a shit name anyway Libi: What's in a name, the English teachers will chime in America: music teacher would probably say a lot Libi: **harmonize it, please America: [does as if we're not fully in class rn] Libi: Brava! 👏 Libi: so much better than whatever 'painting' I've managed this lesson, whoops America: that'll be my L to take for not shutting up America: sorry to your 🎨 Libi: We'll all survive, even if this not-masterpiece does not 🗑 Libi: painting is not my thing anyway America: I never got prime fridge real estate America: as an only child, you would Libi: Only child, technically, but my grandparents have ALL the grandkids, so it didn't always work out like that America: my nan has the same favourite as my mam so 🤷 America: consistency 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't need 3 guesses Libi: why is it Libi: is she most like them or what America: 👼 America: blue eyed, blonde haired fucking wonder America: my entire family IS that shallow Libi: Well I can say blue eyes are overrated and you can say blonde hair is America: skipping over the 🚩 of taking German when my family are basically neo-Nazis Libi: will have to get you out of my DMs stealth if that one rings true Libi: no negotiating America: I don't want to do the cliché plea of how different I am but like, in this instance, it holds up Libi: I'll hear it America: how does a girl prove she's not a Nazi around here? 💭 Libi: 😂 Can you prove/disprove a negative is a big 💭 Libi: too big for before lunch, I think America: Gary's existence proves a negative Libi: 📢🔥 Libi: He felt that America: 💖✂ Libi: If that's the order of the day, I'm not mad Libi: have played cupid once here so America: What about you? Libi: What about me? America: There's absolutely no 😍💖? Libi: Oh, nah Libi: not right now 🤷 America: Then you probably can't answer my kissing questions America: I think that practising on my hand has to be movie propaganda but pretending it'll be perfect & I won't 🤤 all over anyone has to be too Libi: I could try Libi: I've had some but maybe not recently enough to experience counts? America: this close to picking up a 🎸 & opening the floor for them but my sister would KILL me Libi: and Miss would fully be staging an intervention before you could get any decent ones America: even though she's literally a teacher & I'm asking to be taught something Libi: The hypocrisy 😏 Libi: I think the less you think about it the easier it is Libi: which is such non-advice I know America: 👌 have a drink & just do it Libi: lowkey, yeah Libi: nerves never help a performance, right Libi: sure your teacher would have to agree on that one America: Did I agree to putting on a show for him? 👌 I see how it is Libi: 😲 Libi: not what I meant America: No? Libi: I mean, do what you wanna Libi: but not sure he warrants that much effort yet America: 🤣 America: I hope he didn't feel that 💖✂ Libi: It's not shade so it's okay Libi: I covered that he's nice before I went there 🙃 America: Did he go out with Michelle? Libi: Our sources say yes Libi: couple of months America: A couple of months seriously or casually? You were there Libi: I think he thought it was more serious than it was Libi: but I don't think he's looking for that America: & they're 100% over, no hang ups Libi: Totally America: cos she seems cool, I'm not trying to start something Libi: She's chill Libi: he's a free agent Libi: and he's interested too, for sure America: the interrogation can stop 🎊🎉 it's not making me look very chill Libi: I'll never tell Libi: plus you've distracted me from a boring lesson so it's okay Libi: a favour, really America: I can tell you're an only child America: my sisters would use anything I said or did or almost said or did against me if they can Libi: Damn, should I be keeping these in my backpocket? America: realistically Libi: SO bad at this Libi: I'm a slightly better friend 🤞 America: Being somewhere in the middle of a total dick & and a good friend, I'm not the right person to help you get better at either America: partying though America: if you ever want Libi: It would be useful Libi: not gonna lie Libi: as you got what you wanted, like America: I'll knock for you Libi: 👍 Bobby can come too, right? America: yeah, he can join in too America: I won't insist that he kisses me but pitch the idea Libi: I'll 🏏 America: There's always something going on, even with my house being not enough like a morgue but simultaneously too much like a morgue Libi: Halloween isn't the only time for costume parties 👻🧛👽🤖 America: I knew I fucked with you Libi: 😏 Libi: people who think costume parties suck have 0 imagination America: or only wanna look a certain way Libi: that too Libi: heaven forbid you have fun and don't just sit there 😘 America: if Chi didn't feel that, I'll be the one 💖✂ Libi: you can always say it yourself and take credit Libi: on me America: ghost writer, there's a costume in that America: she doesn't just sit there honestly, but it's not about having fun, she'll do fucking anything but it's to keep everyone looking at her Libi: I guess that accounts for some of it Libi: Middle child syndrome is a costume too Libi: if a little abstract America: Favourite child too, but she's got too much wear out of that one as is Libi: No repeats America: worse crimes have been committed than tiara recycling Libi: Maybe Libi: but it's close America: you've got jokes America: I don't think you really need me to teach you anything to be fun at 🥳 America: I predict some kind of 📹 prank is about to happen to me Libi: If youtube pranks are still fun and cool, I'm gonna have to ❌ that because yikes Libi: I just, there's a lot of it that everyone else does that I don't see the point to Libi: for me, anyway America: You don't have to do things that everyone else is doing Libi: Technically Libi: I don't think everyone else is the PSA enabler friend/peer pressure pusher or anything Libi: but it does other you if you don't join in, to a degree, with a lot of it America: 👌 so when we get to your limit, stop me Libi: Okay Libi: but don't go easy just because this all makes me sound about 7 America: Miss wouldn't have oppositional defiant disorder on her diagnosis checklist if I went easy on anyone Libi: 😂 Libi: She's really gone through psychology today yeah America: she's clearly so bored America: & wishing she had talent to scout America: I literally can't have that cos I don't see teachers as authority figures in the first place Libi: Delusions of grandeur ✔ for her America: 🤣 America: sorry you can't control me bitch, call Gary & compare notes Libi: Maybe Gary should bring in his CV America: we'd both love to see more of each other Libi: Of course Libi: and he's the ideal candidate for hapless teacher #46 who can't control their class America: if he ended up 🤯 my mam would 😍😗 the little neck stump America: she's that far gone Libi: Again, I only have experience by-proxy Libi: but that usually ends up 🤯 everything else Libi: so I 👂 America: You heard right in my experience America: my da's got enough left of him to sign a cheque, I picture him like that Adam's family hand Libi: [does the clicks in a boomerang type thing] America: nailed it! Libi: You know Libi: didn't want to be the girl who makes everything about her dead parents Libi: but arguably I'm the proof of everything going 🤯 so I do know a little bit about it America: Shit sorry! I forgot Libi: Don't be Libi: it's good it's not like, forefront of the facts you can recall on me, if anything America: I know what you mean, from a family of attention seeking whores isn't how I like to advertise myself Libi: I'm sure I could make a claim for that title too according to the masses Libi: but neither of us need to 📢 America: send my apologies to Sean if that's what he was expecting America: I do need attention but it doesn't have to be sexual specifically, as Miss can testify Libi: I should HOPE she can America: She plays hard to get, for all her therapizing Libi: She in the 🏃? America: only in the fantasy land she's created Libi: Bless her Libi: any way to kill the day is this place's motto, I think America: 🎼 school song if I do some more harmonising 🎹 Libi: 🌹👏 America: Due credit to you & your ideas America: I couldn't be happier it's not a 😍💖 song Libi: Likewise Libi: so it's worth it and you're welcome Libi: I can give Sean your number, I presume? America: & any screenshots you've taken as mean girl practice Libi: Only the worst bits, obvs Libi: 😘 America: my ugliest sides 👺👺 America: Still not a nazi btw, I just realised the 👃 and brows are a bit anti-Jewish propaganda Libi: 🤔 What if you realizing that is racist though? Libi: conundrum America: well fuck Libi: Hypothetically though Libi: goes a bit beyond mean girl territory to accuse you of racism/fascism America: slightly yeah Libi: thus I would NEVER Libi: 😎 only America: you've seen Gary so you know my hatred isn't rooted in anything racist there America: 🎊🎉 Libi: Can back you up there Libi: nothing but warranted and fair America: Thanks Libi: Has he 💬 yet or is he playing it cool? America: Cool or his teacher is a dick 📴 America: hopefully he's not in a lesson with my sister, that'll turn him off Libi: Not ideal Libi: She's probably changed all her classes to match Jake's, right? America: 🤮 Libi: Too real America: the upside of Gary's regime is that I don't have to see Jake at my house on the regs Libi: Upside? Libi: That's the WHOLE appeal America: 👏 You're not one of the 'everybody' Chi thinks is obsessed with him 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't even know him, in reality Libi: so I probably shouldn't 💬 on him but the only times I've heard him speaking he's been being dismissive or rude so Libi: meh America: Nobody knows him in reality, they live a bubble 🏰👑 America: but when you party, you'll get to know him America: what a fuckwit he happily presents himself as Libi: 😰 Libi: as long as that's in the bottom 3 of the experience, not top, then it won't put me off the 🥳 as a whole America: don't worry, you're too pretty to have to hear the full 💯 Libi: ❓❓❓ America: I just mean, he'll frame it like a compliment for you, so it'll be easier to take or brush off Libi: Compliments don't mean much when they come from an arsehole Libi: 🤷 America: I know Chi didn't feel that Libi: We've all got our taste, I guess Libi: or lackthereof Libi: I'm making myself sound more and more like a nun by the minute America: Not gonna insist that you prove you're not Libi: 🤞 it'll become clear Libi: obvious lack of habit aside America: Excellent wordplay Libi: Do my best Libi: though as it's art, not english, probably not appreciated by anyone but you rn America: Graffiti is words a lot of the time & that's art Libi: That's a good point Libi: I'll have to see if he goes for it America: Good luck Libi: Do you like high school so far? America: maybe that's supposed to be a weirder question than if I'm okay, but I lowkey do like it Libi: Me too 🙃 Libi: Primary was really boring by the end America: I thought everyone would treat me like a giant baby but I've made so many cool older friends already America: & I refuse to give my sister credit for them ALL Libi: Yeah, I thought the same thing Libi: apart from the usual dickheads being like that to everyone whatever the reason, everyone's been pretty chill Libi: and it's nice that we have SOME say over what we take now, instead of just doing a bit of everything America: My even older sister, from your flashbacks, made this place seem really different America: in a bad way Libi: SAME Libi: not your older sister, that would be random Libi: my aunties and stuff made it sound like literal HELL though America: She is a LOL random type, honestly, I'd believe it Libi: 😂 Libi: No DM slides from either sister, we're 👌 America: that'll happen when she finds out you pimped me to Sean Libi: 😬 Libi: well when you put it like THAT America: jk she hasn't threatened anyone on my behalf since everyone was over my OUTRAGEOUS lies about who my da was & I got doxxed to prove how 🥱 he is America: Primary really did get boring by the end Libi: Like I said, no imagination America: what was your favourite lie of mine? Everyone's got one Libi: 🤔 Libi: Long haul lorry driver Libi: because it seemed the most realistic so everyone thought that one was true America: I tripped myself up when I added he witnessed that 🚽 murder Libi: Right Libi: and then suddenly it was all along route 66 Libi: 👎 America: it was a better naming story than my mam's real reasons, I stand by that Libi: Was she a big traveller or wishes she was? America: this would be the PERFECT time for an elaborate lie Libi: Feel free America: you're expecting it now Libi: Suppose that does take away most of the fun Libi: Everyone thought I made up all the stuff about my parents too America: Why didn't you? Libi: That's the thing, probably would've been more comfortable for everyone if I did, honestly Libi: guess the details made it seem unbelievable enough but it just didn't cross my mind, really Libi: I was just wanting to 💬 about them all the time when I was little America: I remember that! Not saying you inspired me to become a pathological liar with how cool it all sounded though America: I probably wouldn't even if Chi hadn't be so mad you gatecrashed her birthday party Libi: 😏 See, can't say I couldn't hang America: she'll still try to but she's said worse Libi: To be expected America: like a text from Sean Libi: Let's not get it twisted though Libi: not excited for it America: 😐 is me Libi: What emoji can I be/ America: 🥳 when I'm done with you, bitch Libi: 😂 I accept America: ask your not boyfriend when he's down & slide into my dms Libi: I will Libi: You can hit up Sean and ask him when he hits you up, finally Libi: I think he's gonna hit you up just after lunch Libi: to show he's casual America: 🐁🐈 America: I'll resist the urge to throw myself at him before then America: to show I understand how this all works Libi: Very mature Libi: or actually, not, but we have to get down to boy's levels America: he's about at our level right now, I think that's how the age gap works Libi: That's fair Libi: there's a lot of lads who still think we're diseased or are more interested in whatever game they are rn America: yeah, I don't know how much he knew about me before we met but there's no escaping that we only just got here America: an age based lie isn't happening Libi: No, that's not working Libi: I don't think you need to lie though Libi: he clearly wants to get to know you more too or I'd be awkwardly letting you down right now, right America: unless you're either too nice to do it or mean enough to want to see me make a twat of myself Libi: 🧐 Libi: Have to see, but I am neither, for the record America: catch me on the rebound 🕷🕸 Libi: All part of the plan America: I'll partner up with you in PE, give you a chance to make your move America: the seating plan'll fuck you over for the rest America: really would look like a nazi if I force Bekah to give up her seat for me like I'm your new BFFL America: 💖💣 Libi: Maybe we don't bring up the 2nd N word around her, like Libi: otherwise she's gonna be cool America: 👌 I'll 🤫 America: no casual German dropped into the conversation Libi: You wanna sit next to each other in German though Libi: the boy I sat next to is 🥱😴 America: The boy I sit next to did fall asleep recently so yeah America: I need to know if I'm 🥱 or he's 😴 & it's not about me Libi: 👋 It's a date Libi: 😘 jk America: they do like it when we roleplay America: 💐🕯🍷

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit  lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: what are you up to rn Grace: UM why? Janis: 'cos we can't find Cass and can't take the kid on the decent rides, will you just stand with him for a minute Grace: oh Grace: yeah sure Janis: cheers Janis: give you some cash, he likes the easy shit Grace: OMG don't even mention it Grace: or like worry about it cos I'm not trying to break a nail rn Janis: you've gotta entertain him somehow Grace: Duh Grace: but that's not with waltzers and rollercoasters babes Janis: I've just said he can't come with Janis: we're talking coconut shy level, Grace Grace: & I'm saying I know what I'm doing Janis: well don't fuck it up please Janis: call if he gets too worked up he's shy Grace: obvs! just go Janis: it's serious Janis: and you haven't said where you are Grace: I'm being serious Grace: I'll meet you at the sweet stand Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: [shows up with a very unimpressed lad in tow] Janis: [just such a withering look like who the fuck are you] Grace: [does not intro him and is just intro-ing herself to Bobby and it's cute] Janis: [just in the background letting Jimmy do what he need to do but lowkey trying to walk away like bye] Grace: [it's fine girl we know Grace has got this] Janis: [ahh when you can't stand to be around her for literally five seconds] Grace: [me when Trace is on one] Janis: [go have fun] Grace: is he allowed any more 🍬🍩🍭??? Grace: he says he's had NONE but I know when a boy is feeding me a line 😂 Janis: try and make him have a hot dog or some chips first Janis: if not he'll be 🤢 Grace: me too tbh Janis: such a good influence, like Grace: I'm sorry that my date is a feeder or something 😱😱😱 Grace: does not take no for an answer Janis: bodes well Grace: UGH IKR 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: he's in a mood cos I got 💋 on him earlier like ?? excuse me Grace: I don't have my own makeup line yet, boy Janis: it is grim when you've used a cup Janis: like a crime scene Grace: OMG don't be on his side! Grace: he wouldn't be complaining if it was anywhere but his face Janis: behave Janis: shits probably harder to wash off that herpes Grace: EW Janis: you said it Grace: I literally did not Janis: you did Janis: don't need to hear about you lipsing anyone Grace: Okay hun that makes no sense Grace: if it had staying power it wouldn't have transferred and he wouldn't be 😣😣😣 Grace: & I wouldn't have to go hard on 🍬🍩🍭 to show him my chill vibe or whatever Grace: so #notlikeothergirls & so annoying Janis: what's any of that got to do with me Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: you talk for the sake of it Janis: talk to your shit date, not me Grace: sure Grace: laters, babes Janis: 👍 Grace: 👋 Janis: [later than you were probably expecting, like] Janis: k where are you Grace: bumper cars Grace: there's a line but we're basically at the front of it now 🙏🙏 Janis: cool we'll jump it Grace: you can take my place, these are NOT driving shoes Janis: babe, you just steer Grace: really!?? Janis: yes 😂 Janis: how do you not know that Grace: Oh thank god! Grace: idk I've never been on them Janis: how is that possible Janis: maybe you should go in with your lad, let Jim take Bobs Grace: Before this date I haven't been to the fair since I was younger than Bobby so Grace: Oh please, he's long gone Grace: Your boy can if he wants to though, that'd be cute Janis: sure, too many sights and smells, can't control her gag reflex when she's abused it that hard Janis: oh, soz Grace: 🙄🙄 not everything I do is with Mia, thank you Grace: & no you're not, babes Janis: pretty much since you were a bit older than him, maybe Janis: well not really but can't blame him Janis: didn't reckon on you bringing a child so Grace: do you see her rn? obvs not Grace: 🤷🤷 if he wants to say that's the reason Janis: can't really bring your missus on a date Janis: got to have some boundaries Grace: can you STOP Janis: what Janis: I said soz, make Jimmy buy you a drink or something Grace: I don't want a drink Grace: I'm gonna have to work out tomorrow Janis: well can you not just take it Janis: you don't need paying but he'll wanna do something so Grace: He knows my coffee order Grace: I'll make time to go Janis: k good Grace: He's a cute kid, I don't even need anything Janis: that just makes you sound like a child snatcher so keep that hush Grace: you're ridiculous Janis: am i Grace: Duh Janis: 👌 Grace: Whatever, I've said my goodbyes so 👋 too Janis: cheers Janis: later Grace: Any message for mum and dad? Janis: lol that's a good idea Grace: I obvs meant about where you'll be or when you'll be back Grace: but 👌👌👌 Janis: that's even stupider then, ain't it Grace: mhmm Grace: my bad, hun Janis: don't mention it Janis: not the easiest mistake to make but 🤷🤷 Grace: 🤷🤷🤷🤷 Grace: I'm so over it Grace: you too, I'm sure Janis: if they're still acting like they don't have answers to either of those questions, I can imagine Janis: could always repurpose my message for yourself Grace: if I wasn't going straight home but tragically Janis: what difference does that make Janis: can still tell them to fuck off Grace: not before dad picks me up thanks Grace: it's not like that boy will be doing a U turn now I'm Bobby free Janis: lol no way he was 17 Janis: looked 12 Janis: and he still would, he's a fucking pushover Grace: he's 19 Janis: so a nonce Janis: cool Grace: You're literally OBSESSED Grace: first I'm a child snatcher then he is Janis: that's literally the definition Janis: you're a child, he ain't, what do you want me to do Janis: didn't work anyways and even if it did, no one's throwing 😍 at it Grace: If you wanna report him, go off Janis: yeah I'll ruin some sad cunts life 'cos you're out here trying to prove something Grace: ???????!!!!!!! Grace: he asked me out, I agreed, it's not a big deal Janis: mhmm Janis: swear guv Grace: OMG SHUT UP Janis: sort it out for fuck's sake Grace: I didn't know he was that old! You literally just said yourself he doesn't look it Janis: don't incriminate yourself Janis: not illegal but just as weird if you're tryna fuck 12 year olds Grace: gross Janis: you said it Grace: No Janis: definitely did Grace: Leave me alone Janis: ooh alright Janis: touchy Grace: OMG why can't you ever stop? Janis: pot kettle Janis: why are you being so sensitive Grace: Why are you still talking to me? Janis: 'cos what's wrong with you Grace: yeah cos I'm gonna tell you Janis: why do you care Janis: you got what you wanted from him anyway Grace: What does that even mean? Grace: you have no idea what I want or wanted Janis: you wish Grace: obvs you do, but I really don't Grace: I'm wishing you'd go away thanks Janis: yeah, can't you tell how much I wanted to see you Janis: good catch up babes Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: about right Grace: sure Grace: see you at school, like Grace: Spanish is first lesson back Janis: maybe Grace: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Grace: next time you steal a car is fine too Janis: next time it won't be nans so 🤞 no Grace: just don't look up my bad date, his wouldn't get you a mile out of Dublin Janis: got standards, darling Grace: I know, babes Grace: everybody does Grace: You can only wish for secrets Janis: can give the daily vlog a miss then Janis: phew Janis: love it when they put the work in for me Grace: mine's postponed cos I don't film little kids but there's plenty of other content THANK GOD Janis: 💔 should've thought of that before agreeing to go out with one really Janis: not very committed Janis: I'll 🙌 to that Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: n'awh Janis: say hi to the gals from me Grace: I'd love to but there's been a disconnect Grace: I'll say it to my ex instead, he just got here Janis: less impressive than the 19 year old Janis: forgetting your audience Janis: they'll probably go for it though THANK GOD 👍 Grace: You're forgetting I only need a ride Janis: that's low, man Grace: If you wanna console him, he'll be free later Janis: you know something's gonna happen to you one day yeah Grace: I know you've got your 🤞 Janis: get a grip Grace: obvs the plan Grace: I'll make sure he's parked first tho, wouldn't wanna cause a crash Janis: unlikely Grace: not really Janis: if anyone bought you were a decent ride you wouldn't have to rely on your ex Grace: if I wasn't he wouldn't be back Janis: he's back 'cos your price is a ride Janis: you know it's not even a fiver in petrol Janis: literally the eastern euro girls on the street aren't as cheap Grace: wow Grace: so judgemental Janis: you're dirty Janis: it's disgusting, judgment from me is the least of your worries Grace: Yeah it honestly is Grace: & I'm sure you have better things to do so Janis: yeah talking to mum and dad for a start Grace: cute Grace: say hey from me Janis: you reckon I won't Janis: got no loyalty to you Janis: be more than a hey if they can manage to do even a semi-competent job Grace: I don't care if you do or whatever else you do Janis: Don't need you to Janis: be out of your hands, like Grace: sure Grace: they'll really show up for whatever slut intervention you think is about to happen Janis: you don't reckon Janis: you're delusional if you don't Grace: you are Grace: where's it been, babes? Janis: you're putting yourself in danger Grace: Me and how many of the rest of us Janis: you're stupid, Rio at least has some brains Janis: marginally more self-esteem Janis: born victim, you, trust me, they're gonna get on board Grace: nobody's more devastated than me that I'm not more like Rio, obvs Grace: except maybe dad Grace: 💔 there's not 10 of her Janis: no one cares what he wants Janis: irrelevant beyond being a sperm donor Janis: enjoy your chat 💕 Grace: 💜💜💜 Janis: 😂 Grace: it will be amusing if it happens Grace: I'll keep you a front row seat, hun Janis: don't worry Janis: buzzin' I care, so far in my DMs Janis: must be gutting when you're the only one that does and you get no recognition for it Grace: 😭😭🙄🙄 Janis: that's alright, sure your ex will take you back and console you Janis: epic shag and all around winner that he sees you as 😍 Grace: if he won't, I'll try one of the others Janis: always the shameful hookup when you've run out of lotion, never the girlfriend Grace: mhmm Janis: love that for you Janis: just get her in to help you with your prices Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: she is good at maths Janis: is she Grace: oh of course she's never helped you with your homework Grace: my bad again, babes Janis: not what she's remembered for is it Janis: being the whore who married her cousin is really all that comes to mind but that's almost sweet Janis: pop it in the eulogy, lovely Grace: if you'll excuse me, I have to make some conversation with this boy Grace: such a good chat tho Janis: not what he's paying for Janis: so don't worry about not being a decent conversationalist Grace: tragically telling him that wouldn't get me where I wanna go so Janis: the tragic thing is you think you're too good for the bus when you're literally selling yourself Janis: wonder how many times this one told you you talk too much? 🤔 Grace: Oh please Grace: & I'm the extra one Grace: everything's a drama tonight, hun Janis: don't act as if you don't understand Janis: he would only pick you up so you blow him Janis: you aren't friends, they don't care about you or even respect you Janis: it's as simple as that Janis: and you're not even trying to get out, you're going home, half an hour away Janis: it's actually the saddest thing I've ever heard Grace: not anymore obvs Grace: why would I go home for the lecture? Janis: because you've got no balls and nowhere to go Janis: fucking hell I hope they pay for a decent shrink, seriously Grace: Thanks to you I've got nowhere to go Janis: go home Janis: sort yourself out Grace: I'll take the party he's offering but thanks again Janis: that's right Janis: get off your face then it ain't your fault Grace: It'll be my fault but I won't care Grace: you always tell me not to so congrats, finally taking that advice Janis: you'll be crying on a stranger's bathroom floor within the hour Janis: you ain't built for it, so tah for the guilt trip but i ain't biting Grace: I love that you've given me that long tbh Janis: got to earn his time and attention and petrol first Grace: Oh honey, I could do that crying Janis: wanna turn your phone off Janis: they'll be out looking now Grace: I would but if it's not on my snap it didn't happen, don't need to tell you tho Janis: your locations on Janis: they aren't that thick Grace: What do you care? You want them to find me Janis: you mean you do Janis: christ Grace: You think you know everything about me Grace: where does the delusion even come from? Janis: you think no one does Janis: let's unpack that one Grace: no-one does know everything Grace: they can't Janis: someone needs to take your netflix away too whilst they're at it Janis: fucking hell Janis: we aren't 13, even then that shit was embarrassing Janis: now it's well Janis: get yourself on the corner with your bessies level Grace: Whatever Janis: you really thought that was a revelation Janis: put it as your next caption, get those kids clicking ❤ Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this is what comes of letting stoners breed, jesus Janis: experiment over Grace: we all wish it was Grace: at least they've stopped now Janis: no need to wish Grace: not gonna jump out of this moving car, however much you'd love that Janis: i know Janis: no balls Grace: 💔 Janis: answer your phone yeah Grace: As if Janis: for fuck's sake, Grace Grace: I don't need to hear mum chatting to me like I'm Carly or Edie Grace: or dad telling me that he still loves me Janis: well then, think that it's not about what you need, I don't care Janis: just do it Grace: I literally just said no Janis: I literally don't care Grace: So get out of my inbox Janis: answer your phone and I will Grace: I'd actually rather kms than answer that phone call in front of this boy Grace: it's not happening, go away Janis: no Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: stop being selfish Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: coming from you Janis: and? Grace: it's just hilarious that you think you can make me do anything Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: he doesn't like you anyway so don't act like that's an excuse Grace: It's not about him Grace: he answered the fastest Janis: then talk to mum and dad Grace: I've nothing to say & like I said I don't wanna hear what they are going to Grace: no thanks Janis: No one cares Janis: pick up the phone and get it over with then Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: exactly Grace: I'll do it when I'm drunk obvs, there'll be no stopping me then Janis: why not now Grace: I'm busy, like Janis: no you ain't Grace: excuse you Grace: the fact this makeup has no staying power was literally the opener of this convo Janis: and what Grace: & he'd kick me out of the car if he saw me without any Grace: duh Janis: again Janis: so Janis: that's the point Grace: your point, babes Grace: mine was that I wanna be here Janis: no, yours was you need a lift Janis: which you don't now so get out Grace: no, it was that I don't wanna go home thanks Janis: no one does but you have to Grace: Why do I? Grace: I literally don't Janis: yeah you do, you aren't being safe or smart Grace: &? Grace: it's been forever since I was either Janis: exactly Janis: so go home Grace: Why now? Janis: its pretty obvious Grace: No Grace: it would've been obvs if someone had said something at my 13th birthday party when I went further than anyone during 7 mins in heaven cos Connor O'Malley said he really liked me and he wanted my birthday to be special for a good reason again Grace: or when I hooked up with his best friend like a week later cos he lied Grace: You don't care, you've never cared Grace: don't tell me what to do now Janis: yeah, your birthday Janis: and you reckon you got it bad it could've been worse if I hadn't bothered saying anything Janis: you think i'm going to pick up your slack and be 2nd to you Janis: for what Grace: OMG you're just like Mia, putting yourself in the centre of everything Grace: I've never thought that or wanted it Grace: 2nd to me!? I'm not that fucking delusional Janis: how dare I remind you its my birthday and all Janis: bullshit, Grace Grace: That wasn't the point Grace: I'm trying to tell you, it's too little, too late Janis: that's it Janis: that's your problem is it Janis: poor you Janis: get a grip, you and every other girl at school Janis: fucking hell, edie died Grace: Get a clue Grace: this is why I can't talk to you Janis: not trying to talk to you Janis: go home Janis: I'm not there Grace: Even Diego's out so like I said, why should or would I? Janis: because you wanna be Grace: You're actually not on the same planet, I s2g Janis: that heart to heart you're trying to have Janis: they're the only ones that'll listen Janis: so go Grace: They won't Janis: bollocks Janis: all they do Grace: You go Grace: do whatever it is you want Grace: I'm good Janis: no you're not Grace: obvs but as good as I can be 🍾🎊 so 👋 Janis: no Janis: I've told you Grace: Go off, I'll mute you when it gets boring Janis: no you won't Grace: ILYSM but even so Janis: you won't so save us both the hassle Grace: you'll be hassled by drunk me, babes Grace: she'll be living her best life Janis: no one believes that Janis: and you think I wasn't bored before this began Janis: difference between us is I do give a shit Grace: of course I don't think that, we OBVS know each other so well Janis: hurry up Grace: 💃💃 Janis: hilarious Janis: don't reckon I won't show up and bring them with either Janis: get your head out your arse and make it easy for yourself before I make it worse Grace: that's your fave thing tho Grace: it'd be so mean Janis: not stopped you before Janis: go on Grace: drunken portuguese is some drinks off but sure dad's waiting by the phone so Janis: can't even remember any so Janis: what do I care, you're talking to them Grace: this is so annoying now Grace: you're putting me off Janis: now Janis: you are slow Janis: come on Grace: shhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: no Janis: [rings her all the times] Grace: 🙌💜 Janis: picked you up yet Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: they're slow too, hello Grace: I've been saying that this entire time Janis: told them where you are or what Grace: mhmmm just gonna send them the location so they can hang Janis: do it then Grace: I 👏 AM 👏 BUSY Janis: no, you aren't Grace: Oooh this boy says he knows you Grace: very ginger, very aggressive 👋 Janis: okay Janis: that's nice Janis: off you pop Grace: he is not cute, babes Janis: what a tragedy Janis: start dialling or I'm gonna come over Grace: No you're not Grace: you never wanna be where I am Grace: & neither does your actually cute bf Janis: correct Janis: that's not what it's about so do it Grace: Just let me have a night off OMG!!!!!!!!! Grace: you get to do everything you want Janis: so Janis: you aren't me and you don't know what you want Janis: sort it out Grace: yeah okay I'll figure all that out in the AM Janis: no, you won't Janis: we're coming so you can think about it all you like once they're done Grace: STOP Janis: why should I Grace: cos I'm asking you to Grace: cos you're my sister & you don't even love me Janis: so you think you can just say and do all that fucked up shit and I'm not gonna stop you Janis: I don't think so Grace: What do you what me to say or do? Janis: I've been clear, call mum and dad and get them to come get you Grace: & after that?? Grace: Why do you want me to be all alone like?????? Janis: they're going to talk to you, work something out Grace: they're gonna talk at me and we'll all 😭😭 & nothing will be any different literally Grace: not drunk enough for that yet soooooo Janis: try listening yeah Grace: they're the MOST cringe though 😱😱😱 Janis: then you should agree Grace: 😂😂 okay bitch Janis: mhm Janis: they're waiting, like Grace: UGH Janis: yeah Janis: they've said they'll text so I'm not going Grace: What did you say? Janis: why? Grace: cos I wanna know how bad the freakout will be Grace: what did you say about me? Janis: what you said Janis: no need to lie, you gave it all up Grace: so you just told them everything Janis: all the relevant info, yeah Grace: I literally can't go home EVER Janis: yeah you can Grace: How could you do that to me!?? OMG Janis: how could I not Janis: not cosigning on that shit Grace: cos it's none of their business what I do Grace: or yours but at least you're not like OLD Janis: you're their kid, that's literally all their business is Grace: So are you! You don't let them tell you anything Janis: they're still meant to try Janis: and they do Grace: I hate this Janis: good Janis: you're not totally crazy then Grace: can't you come instead? Grace: I'd take Rio over them rn Janis: probably don't Janis: when she have her last kid, probably hormonal Janis: well I ain't got a car and we know how you feel about me stealing one but I can come Grace: IOU 💜 Grace: screenshot that in case I'm more drunk than I think I am Janis: you're always more drunk than you think you are Janis: forget about it, like Grace: me or like everyone? Grace: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: you, specifically but yeah Janis: most in general Grace: my ex isn't if you wanna fight him Grace: cos you wanna fight most people Janis: which one Grace: this one Grace: oh you mean how many hookups ago duh Janis: i mean name, any other identifiers, even then, unlikely i'll remember Grace: Tyler Grace: he's not white that helps him stand out in my exes line up Grace: hmmm Grace: short and mad about it? Grace: that's his identifier with me but shhh Janis: 😂 Janis: oh right, can recall that one then Grace: he does NOT like you, babes Grace: too tall obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: gutted, obvs Janis: his 👀 are chest height and everything, that I remember Grace: IKR?! Grace: he was so 😣😣😣 cos I had my 👠s on Grace: boy they weren't for you! I'm SORRY Janis: probably gonna wanna steal some shoes if you're coming with me though Grace: ??? Janis: 👟 Janis: you'll be like a  baby 🦒 on ice Grace: are we walking all the way home? Janis: depends Janis: send us your location and I'll see what I can do Grace: [does] Janis: we could walk that Janis: but we can get a bus like 10 minutes from there if you need Grace: Today has been the literal WORST from the moment I agreed to the fair idc Janis: that means no complaints then yeah Grace: can I do them now cos I've been so excited to go out with him since I met him and then FINALLY it comes around & ugh Janis: seemed like a moody prick Grace: boys are such liars Grace: like okay you're nothing like you were that day in town & you're actually 19 & I don't think you even wanna be here Janis: yep Janis: girls too, in fairness Janis: you're just used to that and not trying to fuck 'em so Grace: I just thought he was different, nice or something Grace: like you said I should go out with Janis: yeah well Janis: never said it'd be easy, like Janis: few and far between Grace: I tried really hard Grace: Like REALLY Grace: it's so stupid Janis: ain't your fault he was a twat Grace: I fell for it Grace: nice lads aren't here for me, obvs, I should've known Grace: I literally do know Janis: it ain't that simple Grace: It is though Grace: I'm a bitch Grace: Is Jimmy coming? Janis: don't worry about that right now Janis: nah, he don't need to Grace: Tell him I'm sorry then Janis: bit rude i don't get one Janis: it's fine Grace: I mean for everything Grace: Mia Grace: since he got here Janis: yeah Janis: pretty mental, even for you lot Grace: I told her, I keep telling her Grace: cos I am happy for you, like Janis: alright, I'll tell him Grace: Believe me though Janis: I do Janis: don't be weird, like Grace: you have to cos I love you, okay? Grace: but idk what to do about her Janis: I can handle her Janis: he can too Janis: but she's genuinely just Janis: you know Janis: you need to handle her too, yeah Grace: I don't work with her though Grace: or without Grace: cos she's not talking to me rn & look Janis: bollocks Janis: she would've told you to go for it with that lad Janis: come on Grace: I met him because she was being a bitch about you that day he was over at our house & I made her leave Grace: I wouldn't have gone into town on my own otherwise Janis: you could've met him any time Janis: and it's not about him Janis: you've gotta admit, he's not exactly out of character in your ex line-up Janis: can't think like that Grace: she would've said no & none of this would have happened so Tyler wouldn't have picked me up & mum & dad wouldn't think I'm a sex worker Janis: I didn't tell them you were a sex worker Janis: and she only would've said no 'cos she'd wanna be watching us so that's not like she's looking out for you Janis: not like she's got a sixth sense for dickheads herself Grace: I hate her Grace: I hate my life Janis: yeah Janis: I know Janis: you've got to get rid of her at some point Grace: Why don't you love me? Janis: Grace Janis: it'd just be easier if we didn't Janis: for all of us, you especially Grace: what does that mean???? Janis: it only hurts if you love or care or Janis: whatever Grace: but its not about Edie cos you didn't love me before Grace: & you love him, your boyfriend so Grace: what did I do? Janis: that's not true Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe I can't Grace: but you literally love him Janis: no I don't Grace: It's everywhere, all over everything Grace: I can't be on my phone without seeing it Grace: or in the same room as you Janis: yeah and how many of your exes did you actually love Grace: that's not the same Grace: I don't look at them like that & they'd never look at me like it either Grace: it's so fake, it has to be if I'm in it Janis: I've not known him that long Janis: no one has, like Grace: So? Janis: can't be in love with someone you don't know, right Grace: I know when I've done the wrong thing like IMMEDIATELY Grace: maybe you can still feel something that soon when it's good too idk Grace: not the right person to ask about love Janis: noted, babe Janis: just saying, think lots of people fake it Grace: Yeah Grace: sometimes you have to & sometimes you want to Janis: do you want to? Grace: when? Grace: I fake like everything, babes, you need to hit me with specifics Janis: well that's what I mean Janis: if your ratio is mostly wanting to, then I guess that's alright Janis: but it ain't so Grace: it's like I have to pretend I'm not freaking out whenever a boy touches me but I want to pretend that's not always gonna be a thing Grace: specifics Grace: I have to be friends with Mia but I don't want to Janis: Why do you have to Grace: ??????? Janis: be friends with her Grace: like I said, it's too late Grace: I can't go back and not tell her everything or have her with me for everything Grace: idk how to do things without her anymore Grace: I need her even if I don't like her Janis: 'course you can Janis: look at us, we're blood relatives and we manage Janis: you don't want her fucking up everything you do forever Grace: I'll have her to blame that way though Grace: if it's just me, it's literally me Janis: nah Janis: family album full of people you can blame Janis: easy Janis: swear Grace: she hates you & I wanna hate you, sometimes Grace: so I thought that would be easy Janis: yeah but she also wants to live in my skin so Janis: complicates matters Grace: but like same ?? so Janis: now you see why I didn't wanna come to those sleepovers Grace: fine cos I don't want you there being prettier than me Janis: 😏 yeah right Grace: ugh Janis: you alright Grace: I just didn't wanna cry here, you know? Grace: he'll think it's about him Janis: go outside Grace: I wish screaming I DON'T LOVE YOU BYE actually meant that Grace: instead of making people think I do Janis: screaming anything don't really help your case Janis: try 🤐 Grace: actually can't though, sorry Grace: 💘 or 🤐 Janis: I've got headphones Janis: it's fine Grace: Where's Jimmy's mum? Janis: not coming to pick you up, can tell you that for certain Grace: Is she dead? Janis: Don't know Janis: did Bobby talk about her lots then Grace: He asked me if we've got one Grace: & said that he doesn't Janis: yeah, she pissed off, about the sum of it Janis: don't know if he knows that or what though so Grace: Maybe he was too little Grace: he's so sweet Janis: yeah, pretty cute Grace: like really gentle, little lads are normally so loud & annoying Janis: girls are well worse Janis: especially the ones in this family Grace: duh Grace: you can say I'm most annoying, babes 👑 treat yourself Janis: was talking about the actual children, like but you know Janis: fight a toddler if you need to, babe Grace: Oh so I'm an actual child when a 19 year old lies to me but not when I want a 👑 Grace: so rude Janis: that's life Janis: don't make the law up, soz Grace: 💔 Janis: I'll run for PM when I get a sec Grace: I love that for you Janis: obvs Janis: no 👑 Grace: but you have any food?? Janis: food? Grace: I'm so hungry like all the time 😱😱😱 aren't you? Janis: nah 'cos I eat enough and at the right times Janis: I've passed hundreds of kebabbies and shit, we'll go get something Grace: 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Janis: who's gaff even is this Grace: UM idk Grace: his cousin maybe? Grace: no his uncle Grace: no Janis: don't need the family tree, I get the vibe Janis: are there any other girls from school there like Grace: that's a real no Grace: I would not be here Janis: ugh Grace: if I'm gonna commit suicide I'll do it myself thanks Grace: don't need them or their insta stories Janis: not my main concern Grace: ?? Janis: it'd be better if it was an actual party with school people Janis: not his cousin uncle and co Grace: Why? Janis: because why would he bring you around his older male relatives Janis: what do you have in common with him, never mind them Janis: it's so dangerous, Grace Grace: I didn't know it was gonna be this sketchy Grace: that's not what he said Janis: yeah well boys lie, remember Janis: it's fine, I'm only a few streets away now, apparently Grace: I'm outside so we can just leave, yeah? Grace: it's not gonna be like a thing Janis: nah I well fancy going in there and shouting my head off and all Grace: you know what I mean Janis: if you're outside then yeah, what am I gonna do Grace: I'm sorry Janis: at least you are okay this time Janis: I meant it when I said something's gonna happen though Grace: It won't even I'm so done Janis: alright, well you all say that when you feel like shit Janis: general you that time Grace: he's deleted Janis: 👌 Grace: Like, I'll obvs get new shitty exes but no need to go back here Janis: screenshot that one, yeah? Grace: 💜 Grace: he's not that cute, I was just over all the white boys Grace: no offense Janis: variety is the spice of life Janis: though literally no idea who that ginger you're talking about is Grace: I think he thinks you slept with his gf?? Grace: I set him straight on that, literally Janis: ha gutted i did that Janis: shh Grace: No way you would've, he showed me a pic & you can do so much better, babes Grace: trust Janis: awks Janis: poor ginge Grace: he wouldn't stop shouting at me like excuse me we're not the same person Grace: as if I'm gonna turn around and you're the back of my head Janis: you probably telepathically told me to do it though Janis: know what twins are like Grace: if she was cute, sure Janis: i don't think that helps us sound any less weird Janis: glad you went with a different clapback Grace: there's worse things than homewrecking someone that ugh Grace: but 👌👌 Janis: not taking that one for the team Janis: no matter how much of a cunt he was Janis: soz Grace: fine, wouldn't wanna risk barista boy's 💘 anyway Grace: a bitch but not that bitch Janis: shut up idiot Grace: he's so highkey 😍😍😍 & I think that's nice Janis: shame he ain't coming Janis: be hilarious if you said that to his face Janis: for me anyway Grace: I've seen enough PDA thank you Janis: you were definitely told to leave so Grace: I'm still mad at you btw Grace: & you can't make me leave a coffee shop, bitch Grace: I was mid ☕ Janis: that weren't my idea Grace: idc still 😱😱😱 Janis: your mates shouldn't bitch so loudly, like Grace: 🙄🙄 I know Grace: I'm so over it Janis: seems exhausting Janis: having to give a shit about what everyone else is up to all the time Grace: mhmmmmmm Janis: and just to be bitches Janis: seriously Grace: they're just hung up on you specifically cos every boy they want has asked you out & you said no Grace: boys they can't even get Grace: like it's your fault you're prettier than them Grace: when they have nobody to blame for how petty they are trying to be Grace: it's so boring & ridiculous!!! Janis: should fuck 'em just to really make it worth their rage but Janis: do you do it too, when it ain't me Grace: Ew no don't Grace: &? I know what I am, honey Janis: unlikely, reasons I said no Janis: I mean, it's probably easy to fall into that way of being Janis: like when you left all your shit at CG Grace: Okay no Grace: not talking about that with you ever Janis: why not, I literally had to give you your stuff Janis: we all know what it was Grace: exactly so we don't have to go there Janis: alright Grace: are you here or do I have time to kms? Janis: not trying to embarrass you Janis: and yeah not far Janis: this is just the longest street ever for some reason Grace: you should stop smoking with that boy Janis: please Grace: mhmm please do Janis: we're a long way from you giving anyone lectures Janis: let alone me Grace: it's still gross & you're already way thinner than me Janis: the ulterior motive comes out Janis: don't smoke enough for that, or lung disease, tah Grace: you can get fucked up by his sexy smoke rings, babes Grace: but sure Janis: that's 2nd-hand Janis: it's worse 'cos all the co2 you breathe out Janis: smoking yourself, way safer Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I'll take it up then Janis: you'd have to get 'em off weird john Janis: no way you ain't getting ID'd Janis: any safety is dashed tbh, wouldn't bother if I were you Grace: excuse you literally have 19 year olds falling at my feet so Grace: well almost Janis: that like underage girls but sure Janis: probably ducked when he realised how virginal you ain't Grace: Yeah Grace: 2 years too late, sorry boy Janis: ick Janis: leave it out Grace: ????? Janis: that's too young Janis: it's depressing Grace: I know, I cried for like a week Janis: stop thinking about it now Janis: and chatting Janis: drive me to drink Grace: you can share this one Janis: alright, had enough earlier Janis: one of us should be vaguely sober Grace: did you sneak it into the fair while I was babysitting? Janis: ha Janis: after, went pub Grace: Oh okay Janis: did you think i was drunk Janis: was just a sugar high, like Grace: you left ASAP and I did when you got back Grace: literally wouldn't know Janis: did think it was a bit of a jump Grace: it's so rude that I can't get in anywhere & you can Janis: I'm tall Janis: and you've got a babyface Grace: like I said, so rude Janis: blame mum and dad Janis: neither of them brought it in the height department Grace: I blame avó, she's who I look like Grace: & she has that direct 🙏🙏🙏 line to god, obvs so Grace: she could have put in a word for me not to look like this Janis: get that you ain't meant to be a braggy cunt Janis: but bit of a slap in the face to call out one of his creations and say 'not again, thanks' Grace: 😂😂 Janis: also she'd give you a slap in the face for that one so let's hope she ain't in the kebab Grace: she'd wanna hit me for lots of things I do but Jesus loves a whore Grace: & she's never ate anywhere that isn't ours either Grace: doubly saved 🙌 Janis: 😏 Janis: not suggesting she's been out on the piss tbh Janis: it's late as hell and not midnight mass vibes, like Grace: if you're going that hard of the blood of christ, maybe just marry him tbh Janis: gutted she didn't Janis: probably can't dump your kid to be a nun though Janis: unfortunate for us all Grace: maybe I'll go become one Grace: can you vlog it? Janis: considering the vow of poverty, don't think you can show up with thousands worth of filming equipment, no Grace: tragic Janis: not even to mention all the others i think you'd struggle with Grace: well it's just mean if you don't tell me now Janis: come on then, I see you Janis: tell you all about it Grace: 👋 Grace: you look so pretty OMG Janis: let's not be texting and walking rn babe Grace: 👌👌👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: you're such a twat Janis: 👊🖕😡 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: what's rude is I'm stuck in biology Jimmy: tell 'em there's nowt they can teach you Jimmy: I've already done it, like Janis: gross Janis: but detention would probably beat this Janis: none of the skeleton army would be in there, at least, even if it's one of the less annoying ones Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: not like getting sent out is any sort of challenge Jimmy: or owt you need me for Jimmy: but I'm here without my muse 💔🎻💔 Janis: school trips are forced fun Janis: but I ain't feeling sorry for you Jimmy: come on Jimmy: gimme a bit Janis: get me something from the gift shop and I'll consider it Janis: #peakromance that Jimmy: duh Jimmy: saved my tips for days Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: buzzin', love keyrings, me Jimmy: funny that 'cause I've never seen you use a key to get in anywhere Janis: exactly, like serial killer trophies for all the houses I've violated Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Seriously though Janis: how wank is it Jimmy: what's the scale? Janis: Hmm, good question, boy Janis: assuming we're talking about quality, let's say best case is that weird thing you did that one time that felt so good you're scared to do it again and become a fulltimedeviantTM and worst case is like finishing in a sock you'd already ruined earlier and forgot about Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: real poet you are Jimmy: gonna steal them words for my tripadvisor review in a bit tah Jimmy: it don't matter I still want you to show your face down here for me Jimmy: 🏃 girl 🏃 Janis: always the way Janis: should be making my own art but full time occupation 'inspiring' you Janis: that said, I don't think your teach is so concerned about your art suffering she'll forget I ain't in her class, like Jimmy: you are art baby Jimmy: can't call it a gallery if you ain't hanging around Jimmy: lots of other knobheads are though, get lost in a crowd and find me, barely a challenge Janis: 🙄 you are ridiculous Janis: but I get it, gotta have me on the wall asap Janis: I am really fucking bored Jimmy: direct quote me when you tweet later 💕 Jimmy: the 1 correction being against the wall Janis: performance art Janis: how bold of you 😏 Jimmy: can't let you stay bored Jimmy: ain't #goals Janis: true Janis: move fast in this place Janis: go away for one day and your 👑 is taken like that Jimmy: good thing you're such an athlete then, babe Janis: say I'm thinking about it Janis: I reckon you'd owe me Janis: more than a keyring, like Jimmy: alright Janis: you must really miss me Jimmy: shut up, I said alright Jimmy: are you thinking about what you want or just how you're getting here? Janis: maybe I wanted you to say you miss me sooooooo much and you've really shit the bed there, mate Jimmy: do you? Janis: you're alright Janis: I'm just getting chucked out Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: just saying, if I SOS you now, you've got no out 'cos I'm saving you, yeah Jimmy: weren't gonna say fuck off to an SOS anyway, IOU or nah, was I? Jimmy: not very romantic that Janis: 💕 Janis: always nice to use a bit of coercion and control though, however necessary Janis: keeps it fresh, babe Jimmy: 💌 got it in writing there Jimmy: you're saving me, I'll save you right back Janis: so quotable today, you Janis: you're meant to be all visual Janis: 📷=1000 you know Jimmy: keeping it fresh like you said Jimmy: besides Jimmy: [sends her a pic of a half done done drawing of her he's working on instead of what he's meant to be doing] Jimmy: 🎨 = 1000 euros easy, mate Janis: damn Janis: I'm on my way Janis: you didn't have to be actually talented and cute about it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: don't run too fast I've gotta finish and stick it up on a bit of blank wall first Janis: I won't Janis: even if I'll admit I have missed seeing your face about here, like Jimmy: it's the accent really Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: paddy lingo gets a bit samey when it's not !!!!!!!!!!!! Janis: yeah, your dulcet tones really do it for me Janis: what can I say? nice not having to pretend I can understand what you're chatting Jimmy: I know but tah for putting it on record Janis: you ain't allowed to put that in any sort of review, soz Jimmy: I won't, you can do better Janis: I'd say thanks for the faith but we all know you're just being cocky Jimmy: don't sound like me that Janis: no? Janis: sorry, who am I speaking to again Jimmy: 👻 lad Jimmy: cause of 💀 that brutal bit of #bants Janis: oh right, casper well can you get someone in here who is a bit cocky Janis: no offense but you're too nice for me, like Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: see what I mean Jimmy: so demanding you Janis: yeah and what Jimmy: not part of the deal, were it? Janis: what wasn't? Jimmy: owt #ungoals Janis: do YOU know who you're talking to rn Jimmy: hang on, I'll get it Jimmy: starts with a J? Janis: 🖕 Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: I do miss you Jimmy: no need to get a big head or make it weird but just Janis: I know Jimmy: do you know now's when you say it back Janis: I said it earlier! Janis: weren't you listening Jimmy: and what you're live tweeting? that character limit'll fuck you every time, gutted Janis: just saying Janis: we're even Janis: but I'll say it again if you want me to win, like Jimmy: how's that work? if you say it again I win Jimmy: it's me that wants to hear it Janis: rude that you want me to lose then Janis: but it don't feel like losing to me so Janis: I missed you Janis: more than I should, I reckon Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: nowt personal Jimmy: and I reckon you miss me the decent amount considering, like Janis: it's cool, I get to be #1 best gf ever and you can read about the shit job you're doing in my subtweets, like Janis: and what was that about not getting a big head? 🤔 Jimmy: do as I say not as I do, girl Jimmy: the northern approach to dating there for yous Janis: how's that worked for you so far Janis: #toosoon? Jimmy: 💔💀💀💔 Jimmy: #savage Janis: just sayin' Janis: don't reckon you should be going to your da for that advice Jimmy: too soon for me to be lining up the next girls who might fall for the looking at 'em instead of the paintings bollocks? Janis: 'course not Janis: got your pick of the art hoes, they'll lap it up Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on then Janis: I'll go home then Jimmy: I'll meet you there in a bit then Janis: 😑 Jimmy: it's alright save your enthusiasm for the IRL Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want me there or what 'cos I'm out Jimmy: do you wanna be here or what? Janis: obviously Janis: sounds like a blast Jimmy: so come on Janis: don't be a twat Jimmy: join the fun Janis: awh, you think I'm not always a twat Janis: how sweet Jimmy: you might have a couple of decent mins per day Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [snap] Janis: was about to say can't say the same for you but at least you're funny Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: soz to break up your suck sesh but already on the bus so Jimmy: she'll be done soon Jimmy: no energy Janis: draining yours boy Jimmy: if she ends up swallowing my soul have a word with your god for me Jimmy: weren't my fault Jimmy: 🤞 she'll spit Janis: that's exactly the kinda sentiment that's keeping you out of heaven Janis: I ain't ruining my chances, soz Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: have to keep badgering you for that 💀 death pact, eh, Juliet Jimmy: doing yourself in still a sin, yeah? Janis: last I checked Janis: he's not doing edits still, like Janis: 'less you wanna join one of those weird ones Jimmy: 👌👍 Jimmy: #datenight is still on 🔥💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: got a whole list to get through Jimmy: [sends her a pic of that drawing of her finished and stuck to the wall cos he's a nerd] Jimmy: just wiped my to do one til you get here Janis: Impressed Janis: but only a few minutes away so don't pat yourself on the back too hard yet Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: why would I when I've got you to do it for me Janis: not what I had in mind but alright Jimmy: gotta keep that one track mind of yours on a heavenly track, babe Jimmy: not gonna be your ruin unless you ask for it Janis: but I don't wanna talk Janis: or pray Jimmy: if you look like you're praying that might get the job done Jimmy: try it Janis: boy Jimmy: What? Janis: I'm trying to focus here Jimmy: if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: shut up Janis: 'course I am Jimmy: don't sound like it Janis: you want me to do it now Janis: I was waiting 'til I got there but alright Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: not really feeling the randoms on this bus but you know Jimmy: hang on, I'll get the orchestra Janis: got a few stops for someone hot to get on Janis: don't cry for me yet Jimmy: but I'm so close to tears Janis: I'll get you there baby Janis: 💕💔 Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: you know it Janis: so 🍀 you Jimmy: [tweets something extra about how lucky he is lol] Jimmy: now they know it an' all Jimmy: so welcome you Janis: 😏 Janis: so whipped too but can keep that between us Jimmy: 👍 Janis: right, coming in, where are you lot so I can avoid Jimmy: I'll do a slow mo run to the entrance Jimmy: 1 sec Janis: if anyone asks, I don't know you Jimmy: kissing strangers is fun, don't blame you Janis: try not to let on that you're that bored already Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: can stay between me and you Janis: can't let the fans down, like Jimmy: [appears and kisses her really dramatically only for the fans tho obvs] Janis: [sure guys lmao] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be really extra boy cos the fans are gonna love this can't deny it] Janis: ['hey, stranger'] Jimmy: [😏 and more kisses because always] Janis: ['come on then' like lead the way so we aren't just in the entrance like hello] Jimmy: [casual hand holding moment obvs he leads her to pose with the drawing cos we can pretend that's for the fans but really he wants it off the wall cos don't think its that good, oh boy I feel you] Janis: [such a proud little nerd face] Jimmy: [lowkey can't look at it or the bae so good thing he's 📷] Janis: [looks at the pics and does a 👍 too] Jimmy: [take the pic down and run to another part of this gallery] Janis: [when you're doing your best serious art appreciation impression looking at all the paintings like 🤔] Jimmy: [just loling at her cos you're already having more fun in these few mins than you have the whole time you've been there so far] Janis: [shushing him dramatically, probably making more noise than his lol 'this is a museum, show some respect'] Jimmy: [giving her a look like make me and saying 'or what?' as standard] Janis: [you know those doublesided benches they always have in the middle, casually pushing him down on that for a lap makeout moment] Jimmy: [such a mood, not soz other visitors] Janis: just getting tuts from the random old people who loiter everywhere in the day lmao] Jimmy: [doing the most to annoy them even more when he hears the disapproval cos 100% that bitch] Janis: Same honestly Janis: like don't test 'em lmao Janis: [] Jimmy: [so well suited you two] Janis: ['can I keep it?' the pic, obvs] Jimmy: [takes it out of his pocket and puts it into hers] Janis: ['big head, like' but really you just like it 'cos he did it] Jimmy: [kisses her on the head 'you can pull it off'] Janis: ['nerd' but kisses him back and it's way more soft than before when she was going in] Jimmy: [we love a soft moment] Janis: ['it's so boring when you're not there...and shit' Jimmy: ['should've taken art' gestures around with an unimpressed face 'never boring that'] Janis: ['I can see' 😏 'well if I knew there was gonna be a hot new boy, OBVIOUSLY I'd have picked different'] Jimmy: ['I get it, even a know it all like you weren't gonna see me coming, that #special, like' but kissing her neck as he says it all cos we both know he thinks she's sooo special bye] Janis: ['Obviously, new boy' #intoit and moving his hands to around her waist] Jimmy: [pulling her closer to him 5ever as he carries on] Janis: ['Okay, okay, I really missed you'] Jimmy: [makes a happy sound because can't not] Janis: [kissing his ear so she can whisper not 'cos she gives a fuck about anyone else here, clearly, but 'cos vulnerable so gotta say it quiet if you're gonna, 'it was like before when I didn't know you, or when you weren't here and I hated it'] Jimmy: [probably can't pull her any closer but tries to and holds her really tightly because not going anywhere and just the softest kisses ever] Janis: [shaking her head like pull yourself together bitch and changing the pace] Jimmy: [going with it cos he gets it being vulnerable is shit and hard]] Jimmy: [I can just imagine some art hoe putting them on her stories like she don't even take art!] Janis: [she doesn't even go here, regardless being like 'come on' 'cos take me somewhere we can actually do this] Jimmy: [should we let them actually leave? cos better option than bathrooms and the point of her showing up has been made] Janis: [why not, live ur dreams kids] Jimmy: [getting in trouble together is their thing] Janis: [hell yeah it is, and being talk of the town #standard] Jimmy: [1000% several art hoes saw them going into the bathroom and we know it] Janis: [gossipy hoes, even if none of the actual squad take it, some of their lesser friends blates do for the fashun vibe] Jimmy: [get in the gift shop after and piss about and shade their art hoe aesthetic] Janis: [all the socials lmao] Jimmy: [he steals her a keyring cos not gonna spend money but she's gotta have one] Janis: [💕 tbh] Jimmy: [now go have some actual fun and alone time kids]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: I'm not at work Jimmy: if you were gonna come in and be #goals Janis: weren't Janis: but tah for heads-up Jimmy: 👍 Janis: do you know 'bout my fave barista or should I roll the dice Jimmy: he's covering for me Janis: oh good Janis: 💕 Jimmy: can't say I never do owt for you, mate Janis: don't cash the IOU yet Jimmy: why? Jimmy: I get it, you look as rough as I feel but Pete ain't that shallow 💕 Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm great Jimmy: bollocks Janis: am too Janis: been for my run and everything Janis: I can handle mine, like Jimmy: fake it for the 'gram, my dear, I don't need to hear it, like Janis: later then skiver Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I've got two kids hanging round my neck, what are you doing? Janis: no concern of yours Janis: check the socials if you're so interested Jimmy: you'll be grooming your horse or counting your cash, no need Jimmy: and now making yourself look #🔥 for the CG Janis: wow, you know me so well Janis: #flex when it counts Jimmy: [does like a cringey tweet for her or something] Jimmy: there Janis: 👏 Janis: sound cover it for today Jimmy: 👌 Janis: if you see a purse can you chuck it back to me Jimmy: after I've taken all the cash out, yeah Janis: 👑 don't carry cash Janis: it's got my gym card in it though so, if you do find it Jimmy: guess I'm working out today too then 💪🏆 tah Janis: welcome Jimmy: [a moment cos he's looking for it genuinely] Jimmy: where do you want me to bring it? Janis: oh good Janis: you at work tomorrow Jimmy: Can't pull a sickie every day, can I? Jimmy: not cancer riddled yet Janis: cheery Janis: don't bother getting out your sickbed Janis: just give it to grace Jimmy: how's that gonna look? Jimmy: you're already not babysitting with me right now 💔 Janis: 🙄 Janis: fine I'll come get it tomorrow then Jimmy: or meet me at the park by mine, get it, pose a bit and pretend you're with me today Janis: not really in the mood Janis: hungover or nah Jimmy: fake it Janis: that's precisely what I'm not in the mood for Janis: I ain't at home, just say I'm there Jimmy: hang on, I'll just photoshop you in Jimmy: won't be suss Janis: we don't need to be together 24/7 Janis: only that lot are that highkey Jimmy: you wanted highkey, mate Jimmy: and I just put my hand down the back of a fucking minging sofa for you, top that Janis: nah, that was definitely you Janis: 💕 Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: on it with your lies this morning, you Jimmy: just what I look for in a lass that 😍😍 Janis: bitch what lie, where Janis: highkey for highkey was 100% your line Jimmy: you said some shit about appealing to our audience first Jimmy: and that you didn't wanna scale it back so there's your lie, Jenna Janis: whatever Janis: I'm busy right now Janis: maybe I'll come by later Jimmy: I won't be walking the dog later, I'll be walking her in a bit Jimmy: gonna knock and run instead though Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck sake Janis: be there then Janis: not hanging about Jimmy: and I am? the shit you've gotta do ain't more important than mine, girl Janis: how'd you know Janis: not a competition anyway Jimmy: that'd be a first Janis: ha ha Janis: stop mucking about Janis: can you be there in 20? Jimmy: can you? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: try and look like you're not dying Jimmy: late nights are #goals Jimmy: keep up Janis: if you leave out all actual details Janis: sure Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em all out Janis: have you checked what you did put out Janis: always got to take back the bootycalls and texts to your ex before the PM Jimmy: I deleted my ex's number ages ago, we're all set Jimmy: only got the 1 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: toodles my love Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: it's alright Janis: not gonna tell your manager on you when I'm there Jimmy: You'd have to run into him first Jimmy: even for an athlete like you, that's a challenge too far Janis: #officebants Janis: save it for Pete Jimmy: giving you a freebie to woo him with Jimmy: welcome Janis: if you knew how, you would've already Jimmy: might've done, how would you know? Jimmy: gotta keep it off the socials for your sake Janis: 😂 Janis: you think you'd be better at faking it by now Jimmy: oh you've got complaints, eh? Jimmy: go on Janis: don't you have an official procedure to follow Janis: another question to ask Jimmy: not on the clock, babe Janis: 'course Janis: so sick Janis: poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: I'll live Janis: wow, way to ruin my day Janis: 💔 Jimmy: too soon to start posting vent statuses probably Jimmy: poor little rich girl Janis: I'll deal with getting consoled on the low, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you gotta bring the kids or Jimmy: or what, lock 'em in? Janis: I dunno, your sister ain't that young is she Jimmy: she's not coming Janis: okay Janis: well I won't keep you Jimmy: I'm on the dog's 💩 schedule not yours Janis: yeah but you know what I mean Jimmy: you're busy, you don't need to kill your horse to flog it, Jasmine Jimmy: point made Janis: if you like Jimmy: how? Janis: how? Jimmy: how are my likes owt to do with it? Janis: well that ain't what I meant so it must suit you at the very least Jimmy: what did you mean? Janis: that I ain't gonna hang 'round and cause drama Janis: I remember waking him up last night, like Jimmy: he's got swings and a slide and climbing frame, on top of a puppy to chase, he's not gonna give a shit about me or you Jimmy: my sister's the one being dramatic and as I said, she ain't coming Janis: well either way Janis: I shouldn't have come back, like so Jimmy: you didn't stay, it don't matter Janis: I know that ain't how it works Janis: got enough inconsiderate older brothers and sisters, like Jimmy: how it works is I was back later than I said Jimmy: nowt to do with you Janis: literally untrue Jimmy: you were there, don't mean you get it Jimmy: no need to unlock my family dynamics Janis: ain't trying or planning to Janis: I kept you out late and I'm trying to say soz so take it Jimmy: like you forced me, piss off Janis: didn't mean to get you in trouble with your boss, like Jimmy: you didn't Janis: sounds like it Jimmy: where you getting that from? Janis: she's giving you the 🥶 out Jimmy: she's giving me the 🖕 Jimmy: used to that Janis: 🎻 Janis: alright then, I'm here early Janis: gonna do some laps, text when you're here or something Jimmy: [appears not long after like oh hey but not texting cos can't be tamed] Janis: [when you're shook again but hide it like boy, putting your hand out like purse please] Jimmy: [chucks it at her obvs which makes Twix a little bit wild] Janis: [meet cute with the dog lmao, also saying hello to Bobby 'cos you aren't that rude] Jimmy: [when Bobby ain't saying hello back cos shy egg but Twix is friendly enough for everyone] Janis: [not gonna take it personal, like, even if this is so awks now, takes a few snaps of Twix and turns to him like yay or nay?] Jimmy: [takes some pics of her and Twix in response cos nothing fake about that love or cuteness and it's a good delaying tactic before you have to pose with the bae yourself] Janis: [takes him his messy self and is 😏 but can't be properly smug 'cos feeling it too] Janis: in* Jimmy: [he's literally 😎 but grumpier lol then he has to let Bobby take some pics cos the boy wanna do whatever he does like bear with bae] Janis: [when that's shamelessly cute so you just chill on a bench nearby, giving love to Twix when she comes 'round Jimmy: [when you go sit on a swing so your brother will but you gotta beckon her over to sit on it with you for the pics and it's gonna be so awks bye] Janis: [when you just have to commit to it 'cos overcompensate always] Jimmy: [taking so many pics and vids for the different angles honey] Janis: [when you're still looking #goals oh lads, as if you're not dying at having to be sat on him rn] Jimmy: [when he's likewise dying at her being on his lap though #don'tletherseedon'tletherknow] Janis: [you do not need this many pictures, hop off] Jimmy: [when you then spend 3x as long as it takes to go through 'em deleting etc cos the awks] Janis: send me any decent ones Jimmy: [does] Janis: tah Jimmy: 💕 Janis: have fun Jimmy: without you, never, baby 😘 Janis: [does lil lol as she's slowly walking away like okay then, but Twix keeps following so it's taking a while] Janis: come get your dog Jimmy: take it with you Janis: don't be mean Janis: it's adorable Jimmy: have it then Janis: the kid don't hate me yet, don't throw me under the bus as a 🐶napper Jimmy: he ain't noticed, on you go Janis: he will do Janis: you just want me to walk it, yeah Jimmy: Keep it Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: we need to buy one together and have a custody battle Jimmy: alright Jimmy: let's go adopt a new 🐶 Janis: what breed Jimmy: what's #trending? Jimmy: leave this one tied to the roundabout, hang on Janis: not with your brother Janis: get rspca and social on you Jimmy: I'll send him home Jimmy: note pinned to his coat, like Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: don't cry, you'll get a headache Janis: so comforting Janis: #baeoftheyear Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt darling Janis: I've had my vitamin c already Janis: but we can pretend you hit me with a smoothie of 💕 Janis: ew Jimmy: do you genuinely have a vomit kink or what? Jimmy: getting me close, girl 🤢🤢🤢 Jimmy: trying to put me off my 🍕 before I've ordered it Jimmy: Mia would be proud Janis: hot Janis: 😬 I didn't think that sentence through leave me alone Janis: I'm not on top form rn Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: knew you were wrecked too Janis: not as much as you, boy Jimmy: I drank more than you, lightweight Janis: yeah, 'cos you stole it Janis: wanker Jimmy: you stole my jacket, I didn't wanna freeze to death Janis: I did not Janis: you wouldn't take it back Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: I remember being gutted it WAS you, trust me Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: heartless, me Jimmy: You wanna fill that hole with pizza or keep flirting with me? Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: it's an easy question Jimmy: how many braincells did you 💀💀💀 last night, pisshead? Janis: sounded sordid Janis: I was just wondering if #kinkunlocked Jimmy: Are you hungry or not? You know I'm a feeder Janis: Yeah, I could eat Jimmy: so come on back to the house of fun Janis: sure Jimmy: [rounding up dogs and kids like but Bobby's in a mood cos he wanna stay so Jimmy's like FINE I'll get it delivered to the park ffs so then he gotta text Cass to get her to come over lol] Janis: [moves closer to 'em again, sits on said roundabout Jimmy: [sits with her obvs when you lowkey lying there cos you feel crap] Janis: [popping out some painkillers like here boy] Jimmy: [when you dry swallow cos you ain't got a drink & then stick your tongue out to show her they gone cos you a nerd] Janis: [pat his head like he's a dog] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: [pushing back his fringe 'cos sweaty forehead] Jimmy: [thank god he's got his shades on so he can look at her & she doesn't need to know that he isn't a grumpy boy in that moment] Janis: [when Bobby wants to be pushed so she's like is it okay if I do it 'cos Jimmy is in no fit state lol and Bobby is like okay 'cos just wants to be pushed and she ain't up in his face] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna be snapping sneaky pics of them cos cute. Also I like to imagine Twix annoying him as he's tryna chill lol] Janis: [just loling to herself 'cos also cute] Janis: probably go sleep on something that doesn't spin 'round and 'round, babe Jimmy: I'm not going to sleep, I'm 💀💀💀ing tah very much Jimmy: show some respect all of you Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll save the kind words and tears for when you gone Janis: gotta fake it 'til the end Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: what do you wanna eat? pizza faves weren't on our couples questionnaire Janis: anything hot, anything with meat on Janis: I'm easy tbh Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Oh, shut up Jimmy: or what? Janis: or I'll come give you a push Jimmy: so fierce you 🐅 Janis: better hope you never find out, boy Janis: 👊 Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: [a wild Cass appears and ignores everyone but Twix cos mad about last night still] Jimmy: you've got competition now, mate Janis: nah, you're on your own Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: got enough sisters of my own to deal with without taking on yours Janis: you'll need to fake marry a bitch for that level of service Jimmy: swap you Gracie, she likes me Jimmy: [goes to talk to Cass and she shouts at him as is their standard, really helping that headache] Janis: happily Janis: beats crying Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [Keeping Bobby busy running 'round the park like a crazy person] Jimmy: [if this weren't awks before thanks Cass just don't smack him his fake gf don't need to see that before she's even met you] Janis: she'll cheer up when pizza gets here Janis: all been hangry Jimmy: subtle hint that, Judith Janis: I'm being lovely, fuck off Jimmy: not to me Janis: you really gonna push a child off the swing to have a go Janis: not #goals mate, not #goals at all Jimmy: you really gonna let my sister think my girlfriend don't like me Jimmy: #savage Janis: Yeah, what she needs right now is some PDA Janis: love me for that, like Jimmy: you leapt to that, mate Jimmy: lads and lasses can talk you know Janis: You know I don't talk Janis: we been over this Janis: #specialsnowflakesyouandme Jimmy: we've been over this, you have to fake it Jimmy: I get that you really wanna kiss me but everything else Janis: 😒 Janis: you really want another woman in your face rn, fine Janis: [comes over like hey] Jimmy: [drags her far enough away that they can 🚬 without being around kids or dogs] Janis: [grateful for the break but also more awks 'cos just them again] Jimmy: [smoking in awkward silence such fun lads] Janis: [taps his head, not roughly, like, how're you doing now?] Jimmy: [shrugs because v helpful always] Janis: ['good talk' like ain't that what we're meant to be doing lmao] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna' like here's your out for a sec, take it] Janis: [goes to shake head but turns it into a shrug] Jimmy: [on his phone like an antisocial bitch] Janis: [when you're bouncing your legs up and down 'cos can't sit still at the best of times, just keeping an eye out for the pizza hardcore] Jimmy: [meanwhile you just straight up sit on the floor cos you realise you don't need to be standing rn] Janis: [Twix gonna jump you boy] Jimmy: [when you're like come here cos you don't want the dog in your grill so the bae MUST sit on you instead, that's just logical and nbd] Janis: [when you look at him like really?] Jimmy: [ just lifting your shades so you can look at her like come on] Janis: [does and gives him a look like 'I hate you so much' but when it's also a LOOK] Jimmy: [is 😏 but when she's sitting with her he's just touching her in the SOFTEST ways like playing with her hair & so lightly tracing her skin with a fingertip that you might think it's a bug or something lol cos tired af since he barely slept and is the softest boy] Janis: [when there's no faking that you ain't about it 'cos you have never felt anything on this level of soft so you don't know how you're meant to be so you're like help] Jimmy: [when you're then just leaning on her so its lowkey snuggling] Janis: [when you literally say 'what the fuck' but quietly and with feeling] Jimmy: [when you don't say anything cos what can you tbh] Janis: [gotta have that pizza show up to cockblock] Jimmy: [just casually gonna go eat pizza with the fam like that didn't happen okay boy] Janis: [when you're just there like do I stay or do I go] Jimmy: [when you literally handhold her over to the fam like eat your pizza but obvs its so fake bye] Janis: [palm a couple of slices and yeet babe like g2g bye] Jimmy: [Twix is 💔 we're all 💔] Janis: [give her some sneaky pizza kids] Jimmy: [nomming the crusts like a Roo] Janis: [getting tooty] Jimmy: [well that was awkward, thanks so much Jimothy] Janis: [later like early PM] Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: ? Janis: doesn't matter if I can't come over/you can't come out but just meet me for obligatory selfies to prove we're together Jimmy: where? Janis: doesn't matter, can be a #datenight or #cosynightinwithbae but gimme fake plans to get me out of real & unwanted ones Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come here then Janis: you home now? Jimmy: I'm not gonna send you somewhere I ain't, am I? Janis: alright smartarse Janis: was being courteous Janis: be there in fucking forever 'cos gotta get the bus in Jimmy: I just got out the shower if you need details, like Jimmy: you want me to meet you somewhere else? Janis: I did not need to know but I'll get the 😍 on then, tah Janis: nah, it's fine, got to get out this house anyway, wherever I'm going Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: Tell Mia I missed her today before you go if she's there #obvs Janis: how did you know Janis: but get to fuck Janis: she's being avoided #obvs Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: How did I recognise an #obvs SOS or the #obvs cause when I heard it? Janis: yeah well it's all your fault so you should be more ready to help Janis: #letdown tbh Jimmy: what have I done? Janis: they wouldn't be strongarming me into a sleepover if you weren't a thing Janis: but you can be my excuse too so do me a solid and make it good Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you're v loved babe and you were before I took the job on Janis: oh yeah, so loved Janis: no doubt end up getting waterboarded for info Janis: #justgirlythings Jimmy: 😂 Janis: it is not funny 😡 Jimmy: a bit Janis: 😑 Janis: swap places with me then Janis: sure they'd welcome that just as much Jimmy: if I wanted an orgy with 'em it'd have happened before now Janis: 🤢 Janis: literally shut up Jimmy: you should've got me to pick you up Janis: in what Janis: your sportscar Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: I've got the 🐎 don't I Jimmy: might've turned it to glue Jimmy: party animal you are Janis: is that what you're thinking then Janis: party? Jimmy: what are you wearing? Janis: 😏 the creep makes a return Janis: wys I should be wearing Janis: bus ain't even here yet so Jimmy: Look down, girl, are you night in ready or night out ready? Janis: I dunno, obviously I've not rolled out club-ready like a nutter Jimmy: stop pissing about and send me a picture 🙄 Janis: ffs alright! Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: [snap] Jimmy: fuck it, let's go out Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: a knobhead from work is having people round, I weren't gonna bother but Ian's just got in Jimmy: don't wanna double with him and his missus Janis: definitely not Janis: nothing goals in that Janis: works for me Janis: not such a knobhead he'll have a dresscode, yeah? Jimmy: hot girls get to ignore dresscodes, how don't you know that? Janis: I would've probably put jeans on still Janis: what happens when you're forced from your own home without warning Jimmy: he wears shorts all year round, don't worry, like Janis: not got the legs for it Janis: I understand Jimmy: I'll dress the same as you mate, make it a #mood Jimmy: we're just one of them couples Janis: ha, if I use the # twinning not in reference to her, gracie will deffo cry Janis: worth it just for that Jimmy: there you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I'm going shop so we ain't empty handed, what do you want? Janis: can't be THAT couple Janis: you want me to tell you I'm easy again 'cos Janis: not fussed Jimmy: my mum would cry, didn't drag me up like that 🙄 Jimmy: 😏😏😏 Janis: such a 💔breaker you Janis: but really, just get more of whatever you want and that'll be fine, I'll get you back when I get there Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: no need to flex rich girl Jimmy: you're a cheap date Jimmy: didn't even stay for icecream or owt earlier Janis: so I'm cheap and easy Janis: yeah, keep digging, like 😏 Jimmy: 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: have you not got a jacket or were you just #posing 'cause you're a massive flirt? Janis: why would I need a jacket when you're handing yours away like a philanthropic chippendale Janis: how dare you imply I was implying anything, also Jimmy: I can't even read them words Jimmy: too northern for that shit tah Jimmy: I'll just grab you one #OMG #soannoying Jimmy: how dare you flirt with me so openly, anyone'd reckon that's what snapchat was invented for or something Janis: Chippendales are SO northern, shut up Janis: I've done my research, I take this seriously, tah Janis: you know, too much nip for Insta, could post it on twitter if you're feeling too special rn Jimmy: I didn't get that far the word before it was well big and tripped me over Jimmy: as for my research the 🐶 ate it, soz Janis: Cute but disappointing Janis: if I was to give you a yelp review Jimmy: she is Jimmy: get used to that Janis: omg Janis: so mean Jimmy: 🐶💔 Janis: We're gonna make a club Janis: get jackets that ain't yours Jimmy: you're so fake Jimmy: couldn't do one fast enough from her before Janis: oh yeah, that's deffo what that was Jimmy: ain't stopped crying 'bout it, the poor pup Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: again, your fault Janis: and you ain't even sorry Janis: poor, poor pup Jimmy: I only take the blame for shit I ain't done for my real girlfriends Janis: plural now Jimmy: past and future, duh Janis: duh indeed Janis: hopeful Janis: it's cute Jimmy: say what you really think, Janet Janis: always do Jimmy: [sends her pic of his outfit] Jimmy: Go on then Janis: I mean Janis: not as good as me but you'll do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🍻🤞 Jimmy: don't let me get as wrecked Jimmy: If I have to call in sick tomorrow an' all, you'll have to pay me Janis: So I'm babysitter Janis: alright Janis: easy Jimmy: I've done it all day, swapsies Janis: not me Jimmy: could've if you'd been here Janis: you reckon Janis: last I remember you was about half 💀💀💀 Jimmy: you're calling yourself high maintenance now? Jimmy: easy a bit ago Janis: just saying Janis: you needed looking after more than me Jimmy: leave it out Janis: why Jimmy: why not be a massive dickhead? Jimmy: up to you that Janis: you wanna play nice? Janis: n'awh Jimmy: you're the one asking me for a favour Jimmy: so you do Janis: nah Janis: I asked for a photo, that's all Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: charming Jimmy: you just said you don't want that Janis: you're very, very annoying Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: but I'm on the bus Jimmy: congrats, mate Jimmy: I know it's beneath you 👑 Janis: piss off Janis: I spend half my life on this fucking bus Jimmy: shouldn't have done your 🐎 in Janis: s'what happens when I'm done w you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: got my headphones but thank you Janis: efforts are always appreciated, boy Jimmy: 😘 don't mention it, babe Jimmy: anything for you obvs Janis: too kind Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: let me know when you're about then Janis: yeah 'course Janis: it's about half an hour so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: damn Janis: how haven't I asked Janis: is my fave barista gonna be there or what Jimmy: ??? Jimmy: man of mystery him Janis: how irritating yet attractive of him Jimmy: I keep telling you, slide into his DMs, girl Jimmy: sort it out Janis: not right now Janis: biding my time Jimmy: probably got a gig anyway 🤩🤩 Janis: exactly Jimmy: if I had anywhere else better to be Janis: what you gonna do eh Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: gutted Jimmy: give us a chance to get in the door before you leave your review Jimmy: bit rude shouting it from a bus window Janis: that's me Janis: got money but no manners Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: 😏 what mine or yours Janis: #transparent Jimmy: weren't speaking for you Jimmy: we ain't that couple Janis: 😶😶 Janis: that couple Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: What? Janis: how much of last night do you remember Janis: 'cos my memory is a bit fucked Jimmy: after I lifted that bottle, I dunno, why? Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: probably not, no Janis: just Janis: idk Jimmy: Just? Janis: It ain't my usual thing Janis: losing massive chunks of time like that Jimmy: doing shots ain't my usual thing, is it yours? Janis: no Jimmy: none tonight then Janis: not for you, anyway Janis: I don't need to work 💰💸🍀 Jimmy: you ain't doing 'em without me, you dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: fine Janis: be doubly entertaining then Jimmy: 1. full time job holding all that hair back tah and I'm on the clock enough Jimmy: 2. piss off I'm the CG's top employee so goes without saying life and soul of this party Janis: 1. I could put it up, IF I was going to vom but that's so unlikely it's almost an impossibility so Janis: 2. I don't work there so your shop bants will have no effect on me and I'm the one you're trying to please here Jimmy: 1. your kink is so blatant shut up oh my god Jimmy: 2. you'll be pleased by all the drinks I just bought #easy Janis: 1. 😑 Janis: 2. 😑 Janis: do you wanna get me drunk or nah, make up your mind, lad Jimmy: Baby, don't be expressionless, it's 💔 Janis: [pulls stupid face to send him] Janis: ❤🔫 Jimmy: my heart has grown back! and loads of sizes 😍 Janis: #humblebrag Jimmy: send that tweet Janis: ❤ or 🍆 lads, you decide Janis: I'll start a poll Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Why did you fuck off last night, is that in the black hole or what? Janis: I can't remember exactly Janis: just weird fragments that don't quite fit together like I've got it secondhand or something Jimmy: go on Janis: it don't make any sense Janis: but like you said, doubt it matters Jimmy: probably not Janis: I am p sure it weren't 'cos we woke any of your fam up or something so Janis: so don't need to worry Jimmy: that was before and only our kid Jimmy: he always wakes up when I come back Jimmy: if he was even asleep Janis: yeah, I remember that too Janis: did you get him to sleep in the end Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: what? Jimmy: did I get water? If he let me do that I must've Janis: Yeah Janis: 'cos you scared the shit out of me Jimmy: Did I? 😂 Janis: I thought that was earlier but no, yeah Janis: definitely on the sofa Janis: softer than the park Jimmy: You scared me earlier Jimmy: that's why Janis: did I? Jimmy: I was walking and you showed up like 👻🔪🔪 Janis: how mean Janis: sounds legit, I believe you Jimmy: well creepy that was Jimmy: tah Janis: you're the creeper Jimmy: leave that right out Janis: didn't say I hated it Jimmy: didn't say you liked it Janis: what's it to you Jimmy: nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: there we go then Jimmy: what kind of picture do you need? Janis: just one to prove we're somewhere doing something Janis: I was purposely vague about our plans in case you were already out or something Jimmy: 👌 Janis: no way I was sleeping in a room with Mia in Janis: actually end up 👻 Jimmy: you can stay at mine if you want, she'll probably use your pillow for black magic Jimmy: or spooning Jimmy: bit rude of us not to lend her a sharpie so she could draw your face on Jimmy: turn the bus around like Janis: 😂 Janis: don't, it's too real and it makes me feel uncomfortable Janis: defs looking for hair and fingernails as we speak Jimmy: How haven't I drawn you and sold it to her for 💰💰💰💰 Jimmy: going soft me Janis: always on the clock, babe Janis: it'll kill your creativity/soul Janis: 💁 Jimmy: I bet you real cash she'd eat it 🐍 Jimmy: what are the calories of paper and pencil? Janis: anything over negative is too high, but she'd get the pleasure of puking me up that way so Janis: it's a must Jimmy: can't compete with such romance, fuck me 💕 Janis: well she gets to fuck everyone so only fair Jimmy: not me Jimmy: or you Janis: ❄❄ Jimmy: your sister 100% Janis: 🤢 Janis: disgusting Jimmy: trying to get you to vom 'cause you're so into it and I'm that kind of boyfriend 🤞 Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: easier ways, I'm sure Janis: but know you're an 🎨 Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: 💘 Janis: no shots, remember Jimmy: nowts a shot unless it's in a shot glass Janis: yeah, that's how that works Janis: 😏 Jimmy: means I have everything to play with and more space to mix it Janis: oh god Jimmy: bigger measures for you to down too Janis: I'm babysitting you, remember Jimmy: You just might die trying though, Juliet Janis: behave Jimmy: or what? Janis: find out Jimmy: alright Janis: alright Jimmy: is your bus anywhere near yet, it's fucking miserable out here Janis: you don't wanna wait inside Jimmy: weren't given the nod for that one Jimmy: Ian threw his weight about and me out Jimmy: earnt himself some 😍😍😍 Janis: Gross Janis: wtf Jimmy: 🎻 and 🤢 Janis: well, we ain't that far Janis: you should get a head start on the drinks if you ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is he gonna let you back in later Janis: you could come back to mine but you would have to pretend to have crazy hot sex with me if the coven is still lurking so Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Cass'll post a key through Janis: 👍 Janis: gotta stick together vs the 'rents Jimmy: we can't be as late back though Janis: yeah Janis: whenever's fine Jimmy: you're easy, I get it Janis: shut up 😏 Janis: the favour is the alibi, anything else is just extra Jimmy: most of my wage is tips, I'm gonna keep you out all night now Jimmy: habit Janis: so above and beyond, babe 💕 Jimmy: 💰🐮💕 Jimmy: can you remember what we drew? should go check out the finished masterpiece #🎨 Jimmy: got a mental image of you sucking on the end of my sharpie there but otherwise nowt much Janis: Filth Janis: 😂 Janis: when we find out it's as intelligible as smeared shit on the walls, like but seemed like a masterpiece at the time Jimmy: when you reckon its 🥇 but it ain't even 🥉 Jimmy: #tragic Janis: hopefully we didn't sign it 😱 Jimmy: shit I probably did do! Jimmy: cut my hand off instead of my ear so I can't be that dickhead Jimmy: still post it to you though 💌 Janis: this country ain't quite THAT religious Janis: but romantic Janis: I'll keep it in a jar Jimmy: I won't tell you I'm ambidextrous and it's another scam, that'll take the shine right off the gesture Jimmy: and that's witchcraft in the north if it ain't here Jimmy: gotta take the secret to my grave naturally Janis: you are SUCH a show-off Janis: but I'm left-handed so we can get burnt together Jimmy: don't be a HATER when I'm trusting you with my secrets Jimmy: obvs you are #evil twin Jimmy: so romantic though #datenight 🔥💕 Janis: it's just REALLY obvious you want me to ask what them hands do Jimmy: if you need to ask I'm not fake dating you hard enough Jimmy: the answer is obviously 🚬 and ✎ Janis: yeah yeah, I'll study when I need to Janis: you're easy too Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm well hard 💪 Janis: 😏 Janis: mhmm Janis: if anyone asks Jimmy: you ran away from them questions mate Jimmy: 💀👑 will be in my DMs asking herself Janis: well excuse me for not sticking around to stroke your ego and quench their thirst Janis: not interested in either soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: what better review than I gotta run to you soon as your mentioned? Janis: think on, boy Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I never said you were bad at this Janis: not directly anyway Janis: you can say I'm good, go on Jimmy: You're SO good baby 💕😍💘 Janis: 😂 Janis: 😩💦 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: so in the party mood now Janis: and not a moment too soon, just pulling up, like Jimmy: [waves cos let's say he went there cos sick of sitting on his doorstep] Janis: [snaps a pic 'cos #goals and gets off the bus like 😏 'don't have to convince the driver how in love we are do we, 'cos I can run at you if you're feeling it?'] Jimmy: [throws a jacket at her cos always and a distraction from how much he'd love that] Janis: [when you appraise it like you've been really fashion and you're not sure but obvs you put it on with a grin and a 'tah'] Jimmy: [🙄 but a playful one so also 😏] Janis: ['can you lead the way this time or am I your personal satnav again?] Jimmy: [playfully dragging her off by the arm cos actually does know where he's going but gotta take her to the pub or something first anyway cos you can't show up this early] Janis: [lowkey happy nerds always] Jimmy: [throws her snacks he bought for her when he bought the drinks cos she didn't stay for much pizza and he don't know if she got to eat at hers before she ran away #considerate] Janis: ['#feeder' but nudges him like thanks and noms] Jimmy: [nudges her back and gives her his phone so she can reply to Mia again cos fave] Janis: [when you 🙄 but not playfully at her lack of shame lmao] Jimmy: [give it up gurl Grace fancied him anyways so #girlcode] Janis: [always hitting her with those exclusive selfies lol] Jimmy: [love that, going harder than you need to always] Janis: [shudders 'if you ever go there, actually got no respect for you' Jimmy: ['if I ever go there, kill me. Tah. Don't wanna live without my dick when it shrivels and falls off'] Janis: [lols and does a 💔 with her hands like poor baby 'I'll put you out of your misery, mate; what are friends for, after-all'] Jimmy: [nods his thanks and offers her a 🚬] Janis: [shakes her head but takes it okay gurl] Jimmy: [lights it for her as per before his own even cos pecking order] Janis: [tips her imaginary hat to him] Jimmy: [walking and smoking as standard] Janis: ['So, on a scale of manager to Pete, where does this one fall? Need to know how small to make my talk, like'] Jimmy: ['if manager Dave is 0, this lad is like a 2' does the 💔 with his hands like unlucky] Janis: [makes ott disappointed face 'damn, weather and sports it is, okay'] Jimmy: [makes an OTT pouty face to hide the fact he's actually jealous because in my head this lad is 'cute' but in like a really basic way haha] Janis: [pinches his cheeks like a grandmother] Jimmy: [playfight moment] Janis: [always a moment, don't mind them] Jimmy: [let her win though cos we know its real] Janis: [irl 💪] Jimmy: [dramatic bow down cos he's a nerd] Janis: ['you're welcome' 😏] Jimmy: [gives her a bottle of whatever like shhh] Janis: ['Slainte' and knocking it back 'cos start as you mean to go on] Jimmy: [giving her like a steady on kinda look but is 😏 for #bants not concern vibe cos can't say anything actually cos he's as bad we know] Janis: ['don't worry, I'll keep it from you' and not passing it and another swig with a grin 'cos best babysitter ever] Jimmy: [takes it cos gotta prove you're still 💪 and takes a swig with a cheeky wink and it's hotter than it needs to be thank you boy] Janis: [when you can't even be mad but you have a go at pretending still 'cos otherwise] Jimmy: [pass it back like love me again] Janis: [just having a time, don't mind them] Jimmy: [realistically how far can this pub be so enjoy yourselves in these streets while you can lads] Janis: [also where you putting these bottles lads] Jimmy: [let's hope he has some kind of bag with him for the unopened ones at least cos can't show up empty handed] Janis: [my boo is horrified lmao] Jimmy: [he had snacks too so he weren't carrying all that #justsayin] Janis: [you silly, also get a round in girl] Jimmy: [when this bit will probs be better than the party lbr] Janis: [ahh shit house parties, perfect bonding ground 😈] Jimmy: [we know you can make it look fun for the socials kids] Janis: [when she defs would've got him something and coke so she could pretend it was just coke for a hot sec lmao] Jimmy: [such a cute nerd move he'd have to lol] Janis: [when he's shamelessly got a cute laugh bye] Jimmy: [when you make her play darts or pool or whatever cos you lost the playfight and you wanna win] Janis: [always down for a competition] Jimmy: [but she should win again so he's a sulky bitch] Janis: come on, be my mate Janis: [kicking, but gently lol, under the table] Jimmy: [is 😒 and ignoring like hmmm just gonna drank and play with this beermat] Janis: [kicks a bit harder like oi] Janis: you're rude Jimmy: [gives her a look like what?] Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: 😑 Janis: another one or Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: missed the please Janis: work on the thank you for when I'm back 👍 Janis: [goes] Jimmy: soz mum Janis: don't make it weird Jimmy: like she were in the room there then Jimmy: it was weird Janis: 😒 Janis: shut up Jimmy: it was rude a bit ago when I tried that Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: don't have to Janis: if I'm a mum I'm always right 'cos I say so Jimmy: if you're impersonating mine you ain't Janis: I'm not going method Janis: and if that's a #kinkunlocked I gotta go like Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're making it weirder than I went for Janis: then shh Jimmy: I get it, telling me what to do is one of yours Jimmy: I wouldn't have reckoned on you as that predictable but alright Janis: piss off Janis: I don't wanna be your mommy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [come back with that drink huffily and just be on your phone] Jimmy: [down it cos that's the mood] Janis: [awks again] Jimmy: [gdi Jimothy you're always making the vibe off] Jimmy: [just on socials putting in that werk like you're love's young dream for her though cos as close to a sorry as we're getting rn is when its working and the fans are loving your efforts so bae's getting all the notifications] Janis: nice work Jimmy: [shrugs and goes to get more drinks like here's a real peace offering] Janis: [nods head like tah and does small smile but genuine] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's so cute bye] Janis: [just showing him all the highkey responses and loling] Jimmy: [take a moment to bond over how ridiculous everyone is like] Janis: [just like why do they care so much] Jimmy: [we know its cos you two walking around looking like models] Janis: [#hotcouplealert] Jimmy: [gotta do the jj love heart doodle everywhere they go soz to the tabletop but not] Janis: [snap that honey] Jimmy: [also take a moment to text Cass and make sure she's alright boy] Jimmy: [okay but Cass sending him a pic he drew of jj on the swing together cos she's like why are you gross but you upload that art to your insta because #fans] Jimmy: {Bobby drew it not Jimmy lol] Janis: ['He's so cute'] Jimmy: ['And talented. Made you look cute an' all' boy stop playing you think she's hot af] Janis: [makes 'oh please' noise, 'gives you a run for your money, deffo'] Jimmy: [kicks her like she did to him earlier but is 😏 not 😒] Janis: [squeezes his arm in a pisstakey supportive way like 'it'll be okay, babe'] Jimmy: [flicks some drink at her face like you did to me the other day] Janis: ['you want this whole drink on your head or what? but not actually mad 'cos always here for the flirty bants over awks any day] Jimmy: ['or what' because always gonna say that, giving her such a LOOK excuse you Jimothy you're too sober for this] Janis: [just a LOOK back] Jimmy: [when he just leans across the table and it's such a kiss moment but instead he wipes her face for her with the sleeve of whatever hoodie he has on but that's even more intimate so how dare you tbh] Janis: [when you're so 😳 you're like gotta go loo bye] Jimmy: [just shamelessly watch her go we all know it] Jimmy: get on a move on, we're going after Janis: alright, piss police Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: not a kink before you say it tah Janis: yeah, how defensive you were dead sold that one, mate 👍 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: it's a bit of a fucking walk and you're the only one getting a boner for exercise round here, Julie Janis: I already knew you couldn't keep up, babe Janis: didn't need to admit it Janis: I'll go slow for you 💕 Janis: [comes out like ready] Jimmy: stay here and take it slow with the barman if you're gonna be a dickhead Jimmy: [is walking ahead like excuse you I'm so 💪] Janis: [hangs back like she's pondering but then shrugs and follows being loud like 'He's not my type so shoot your shot if you're feeling it'] Jimmy: [mimes a 🎻] Janis: ['Don't be sad, with no competition from me, you stand a chance now' encouraging 👍 up] Jimmy: [ignoring cos so mature] Janis: [walking annoyingly close to him like speeding up when he does and slowing down when he do like you can't ignore me boy] Jimmy: [🚬 without offering her one like yeah I can] Janis: [just a look and noise like wow, it be like that, yeah?] Jimmy: [does the dramatic look around like oh did I hear something cos nerd] Janis: ['I friggin' hate you, you know'] Jimmy: [gives her a bemused look cos no you don't] Janis: [snatches that 🚬 so rudely] Jimmy: [lights another for himself with an OTT sigh] Janis: ['what you being a dickhead for?'] Jimmy: ['what are you always trying to pimp me out for?'] Janis: ['you what?'] Jimmy: [I said, what are you always trying to pimp me out to the locals for? If I was #dtf I wouldn't be fake dating you, would I?'] Janis: ['Erm, obviously, it was a joke; if you needed or wanted a wingman, I ain't interested, trust'] Jimmy: ['so hilarious you'] Janis: ['Jesus, sorry, forget I said anything'] Jimmy: [shugs like consider my memory erased] Janis: [when you start walking ahead but only a bit 'cos you don't know where you're going so can't fully walk off, like] Jimmy: [when you obvs catch her up and are walking in step like you can't ignore me either this goes both ways] Janis: [the most exasperated look] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I must] Janis: ['Don't even'] Jimmy: [don't even what?' he's so annoying omg] Janis: ['Stop it, I swear to GOD'] Jimmy: [gives her a look that's stop what? cos not gonna say it but such a twat still] Janis: ['fuck this' under her breath and actual walking off] Jimmy: [not gonna let her so following 'what was it you said? be my mate, come on'] Janis: ['you don't wanna be mates' and looking ahead keeping walking] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't wanna be my mum you're about as determined to fuck off'] Janis: [just turning around like what but not actually saying it] Jimmy: ['you don't wanna go home and neither do I, so let's just go to the party, yeah?'] Janis: [shrugs 'whatever'] Jimmy: [drags her back in the right direction but really gently] Janis: ['this don't mean we're friends'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna be friends with you' cos ain't that the truth] Janis: [just trying not to look so hurt] Jimmy: ['And I am a dickhead, there's your answer for why I was being one'] Janis: ['I don't care'] Jimmy: ['why'd you ask then?'] Janis: ['Didn't say I didn't at the time, it's irrelevant now'] Jimmy: [hits her with a shrug of his own] Janis: [nods like exactly] Jimmy: [gives her a look like wtf is that meant to mean as if he don't know] Janis: ['how much further?] Jimmy: [tells her, let's pretend not that far but far enough they gotta walk awkwardly for a bit longer] Janis: [picks up pace] Jimmy: [does a bit but not that much cos unfit af] Janis: ['gimme the bag'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like um no] Janis: [gives him a ffs look back 'give it here or hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [goes slower cos that bitch aka me] Janis: ['I might not wanna go home but I can still think of better things to do, seriously'] Jimmy: ['Go and do 'em then'] Janis: ['I tried to but you stopped me and I gave you a second chance for some fucking reason but fuck this now'] Jimmy: ['We're pissing distance from this lad's back garden, stop being a knobhead'] Janis: ['You ain't thinking this through, why the hell would we wanna be somewhere we've gotta fake all of this a moment longer?'] Jimmy: ['why do we have to fake owt? You wanted one pic, we've uploaded shitloads'] Janis: ['Um, because it'll look fucking weird if we ain't couply when everyone at this party knows we're meant to be'] Jimmy: ['Mia treats 'em like staff they ain't gonna gossip with her like besties'] Janis: ['You go in and do what you like then, I've got no reason to be here'] Jimmy: ['there's reasons'] Janis: ['yeah' purposefully sounding ambiguous to as if that was a question or nah] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna make me say 'em or what?'] Janis: [when you're just like 'ha' 'cos clearly not happening and just start walking with again like alright] Jimmy: [give her an I hate you look that so isn't] Janis: ['I got it, yeah, now can you fucking light up, I need to smoke before going in there'] Jimmy: [does because it's his job 5ever] Janis: [just smoking your feelings lol] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: ['why don't you wanna be my friend?'] Jimmy: ['why do you wanna be my friend?'] Janis: ['why are you incapable of answering a question straight?'] Jimmy: ['for someone who don't care why do you care so fucking much?'] Janis: ['if I ask a question, I want an answer, simple'] Jimmy: ['what if it's not?' fucked yourself then, ain't you, mate'] Janis: ['that ain't the point, I'm asking what you think, what you know, whatever the fuck the context is, I don't ask you so you can turn it around on me like I don't know all that about me already'] Jimmy: ['the point is, rich girl, this ain't your world, your parents just paid for a bigger house on a nicer bit of it, and I don't properly work for you sweetheart, so I can do owt I like. Better yet speech is free and I can say whatever the fuck I wanna an' all.'] Janis: ['yeah? and what are you saying then, Jimmy? fuck all. so if you'll excuse me-' and bowling inside like you know this lad personally but you know he ain't gonna mind] Jimmy: [staying outside as if that makes a bit of difference or any real deliberate point other than you can't be around the bae] Jimmy: Alright, what I'm saying is I don't wanna do this anymore Jimmy: deal's off Janis: Alright Janis: fine Janis: thanks for telling me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: any reason why beyond the obvious or Jimmy: why are the reasons any of your business? Jimmy: in the fine print was it, that Janis: because I was in it too and I'd tell you if I just switched out of nowhere with no warning Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 👍 Jimmy: I just want out, we can do it however you like Jimmy: take the night and sort it Janis: wow generous Jimmy: that's me Janis: I don't need time, it's easy Janis: I'll get with this lad, you can 'find' out Jimmy: I'm not making you look bad that's not part of it Janis: How do you reckon on making me look good Jimmy: He's a fucking 2, we can do more than that for you, like Janis: You wanna vet the lad I fake cheat with Janis: that's not mental at all Jimmy: 'cause all of this has been dead sane Janis: yeah, and you want out so you can quit acting like you remotely give a shit Jimmy: calm it down Jimmy: it don't look great for me if you fake fuck my ugly co-workers Janis: welll I DON'T care Janis: you said I can do it however I like Jimmy: I reckoned on you being smart when I said that is why Janis: nah you reckoned on me caring to make you look good too, why should I Jimmy: it was the deal if nowt else Janis: the deal is off, by your request Jimmy: you're such a massive dickhead Janis: you Jimmy: you don't get it Janis: what don't I get Jimmy: what do you get? Janis: piss off if you're starting that again Janis: came in here to get away from that Jimmy: you can't answer it 'cause the answer is nowt Jimmy: but you think we can be mates Janis: and you do? alright Janis: you don't answer anything so glass houses Janis: pot kettle, whatever else Jimmy: 👌 Janis: bye Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: wanna be more specific Jimmy: Do I need to? Janis: yep Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Are you gonna drag that twat into it or what? Janis: not that I owe you shit Janis: but I'll pick someone you don't work with Jimmy: or think of a better idea Janis: it's a great idea Jimmy: How? Janis: you get the sympathy vote and to be mr good guy and I get to show I don't give a shit so they can miss me with the told you it wouldn't lasts and whatever else they're dying to Janis: win win Jimmy: if I wanted a popularity 🏆 instead of being left alone Janis: your personality will put 'em off give it 5 minutes Jimmy: piss off Janis: you know I'm right Jimmy: I know you're fuming Janis: about what, exactly Janis: being stupid enough to ever agree to this, yeah, I am actually Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: whatever Jimmy: [i'm using the weather and saying it's just started to rain heavy so he has to come inside or else he never will] Janis: [chatting to some rando and trying not to look his way even though of course you notice] Jimmy: [when you go up to her to give her a drink cos you're jealous af and you want said random to fuck off] Janis: [when you look at it like you've never seen a drink before in your life 'you trying to poison me now?' whoever this lad is should run 'cos no need to be involved in this drama] Jimmy: [lowkey force her to take it so rude 'drown your sorrows, girl'] Janis: [that's deffo getting thrown at you like I'm sorry boy] Jimmy: ['when you have to go find a towel now if you didn't before RIP to the bathroom with you] Janis: [when you have to either go outside or find somewhere in this gaff to be alone 'cos people love drama and would be being so annoying] Jimmy: [100% gonna look for her when he's done though cos king of the mixed message if she's outside I'm gonna lol cos you're getting wet again boy] Janis: [probably 'cos realistically how big is this house that there's a room no other fucker is in lmao] Jimmy: [unlucky dickhead] Janis: [wherever the nearest available shelter is, whether that's a tree or a bus stop, whatever] Jimmy: [either way #mood and he's finding her there, popping up v unwanted] Janis: [when you see him coming and it's like literally wtf boy 'I swear down, Jimmy, do not'] Jimmy: [when you just kiss her as hard as you fucking can because this is over and wtf do you have to lose and you're thinking you'll just walk away after okay boy well done truly you messy slag] Janis: [when you go for it even though you reckon you definitely shouldn't now because you feel something so got to chase it 'til you can't no more] Jimmy: [the most ridiculously intense make out of all time casually happening until he breaks it off cos when there's too much drama at school you gotta walk awaaaaaaaaaaay] Janis: Pussy Jimmy: 💀💀💔💀💔 Jimmy: brutal Janis: fuck you Jimmy: you wanted an answer so bad, there it is Jimmy: take it Janis: no, as per with you it was just more questions Jimmy: might've been able to find some answers in the bottom of that bottle you chucked at me Jimmy: so hasty you Janis: should've kept it then Janis: you need it more than me Jimmy: I've got others Janis: I'm so pleased for you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Stop talking to me Jimmy: stop talking to me Janis: gladly Jimmy: 👍

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You've not been in School! Where are you? Buster: I'm in Dublin. Do you actually need something? Chloé: STILL Chloé: Slacker Buster: I don't need your permission or ask for your opinion, like Chloé: Well I do need something, as a matter of fact Chloé: I want to tell my parents, you said you'd be here Buster: I will be there, like I said Buster: When? Chloé: Well uh now Chloé: I thought you'd be in so we could plan outfits! Buster: Well, I'm gonna need to get a flight which means I also need specifics Buster: I'm not matching with you, get real Chloé: Oh idk Chloé: We'll see when you get here Chloé: Ooh maybe we can go out for dinner Buster: Fine, I'm here until the 11th at least Buster: Do you mean you wanna tell your parents over dinner? Chloé: WHY 😩 Buster: How is that your business? Chloé: It's so long Chloé: I've done so much Christmas shopping for it where am I gonna put it all if they don't know ugh Chloé: Just saying Buster: It's really not, Chlo Buster: What's a few more days Chloé: Spoilsport Chloé: BUT FINE 😒 Buster: You need to start taking this more seriously Chloé: I'm the one trying to plan it! Chloé: You're off doing God knows what Buster: I'm here trying to get my head together Buster: Whose fault is that? Buster: I've told my parents, it went great, thanks for asking Chloé: Well isn't that nice for you Chloé: Can't all just piss off whenever we feel like it, and I'm immature, HA Buster: If you can't read the sarcasm in that sentence, we've honestly got much bigger problems than anything I'm doing Buster: I've hardly pissed off on holiday, have I? I do live here too Chloé: Yeah but the hols haven't started yet have they Chloé: Honestly, so unreliable, what kind of Dad do you expect to be? Buster: It's 6th form and we ain't at Eton are we? Buster: I've got my work sent over anyway Buster: As for what kind of dad I'll be, that's strictly hypothetical since you haven't actually got the DNA yet so Chloé: I'll do it after Christmas Chloé: I'm very busy right now Buster: You and me both, babe Buster: But this is important Chloé: If it really is then come back Chloé: I'll do it sooner Buster: Don't talk to me like that Buster: You can't hold me to ransom over this when I've already got my life on hold over this Buster: You can't be deliberately vague and then act like you're waiting on me Chloé: How are they even going to do it anyway? Chloé: The DNA Buster: It's just a blood test for each of us Chloé: Yes but how do they get it from the baby Chloé: Lydia says its a giant needle that could kill it, I'm not doing that Buster: Lydia is chatting shit, don't worry Buster: It's non-invasive. The baby's DNA can be found in your blood stream from 9 weeks apparently, so it's like they are taking the baby's and mine to compare, that's all Chloé: It's been over that, hasn't it Chloé: Just trust me, this is all so silly and nasty Buster: How can I trust you? Chloé: God, I'm not a monster Chloé: This is so offensive Buster: I trusted you about the pill and here we are Chloé: I've never got pregnant before Buster: That doesn't mean shit though and you know it Buster: You're not that stupid Buster: My Auntie slept with a dude once, with a condom and still got pregnant, like Chloé: Exactly so why bother Chloé: if its meant to be its meant to be Buster: 'Cause this isn't how I want things to be Chloé: Well tough Chloé: It's happened now Chloé: You should've insisted on a condom Chloé: I can't be held responsible for you and your inaction Buster: You shouldn't have slept with me Buster: I told you no when I could insist on anything, I do remember that Chloé: Oh what, so I raped you now? Chloé: How could you even say such a thing, that really happens you know Chloé: it's not a joke Buster: I'm not making a joke Buster: I'm saying it shouldn't have happened how it did Buster: I don't get why you'd want it to anyway Chloé: It's what we do at parties Chloé: you've slept with everyone else Chloé: why not me Buster: I'm not gonna write you a list Chloé: You're horrible Chloé: I'm in a highly fragile state right now Chloé: which is your fault Chloé: so don't speak to me like that Buster: Until you wanna go party, yeah? Then you're fine Buster: And believe me, I'm reining it in with everything I could say Chloé: What, like you're being a perfect little choir boy Chloé: such a double standard Buster: I'm not pregnant Buster: And what I do isn't your problem, we aren't together Chloé: Well it's horrible Chloé: so I deserve some fun Chloé: Thank you very much Buster: Fine Buster: I don't wanna fight with you, Chlo Chloé: Then don't Buster: I'm trying Buster: This isn't fun for me either Chloé: Oh, poor you Buster: Come on Buster: I'm just saying Buster: Can we start this convo over? Talk properly Chloé: Alright Chloé: Let's be friends 😊 Buster: Let's start by trying to be civil, yeah? Buster: Not run before we can walk, like Chloé: No take backs! Buster: Alright Buster: How are you then? Buster: Is it actually horrible? Chloé: Yeah, I'm getting so fat Chloé: it's disgusting Buster: The baby's gotta grow, babe Buster: Are you taking all the vitamins and bullshit? Chloé: I did anyway Chloé: Sugar bear hair and all that Buster: Not the same thing Buster: You need Vitamin D and Folic Acid Chloé: Ooh, so smart 😘 Chloé: I'll get some Buster: 400 micrograms of folic acid each day and 10 of Vitamin D Buster: I think the folic acid is just for the first bit maybe though, but you should take the vitamin D all through and when you're breast feeding and shit Chloé: Ugh, this is why I didn't take Science Chloé: Do you think if I pump then my boobs won't get saggy? Buster: I can't answer that for you Buster: Not something I'm gonna ask my Aunties or mum Chloé: 😂 Chloé: Maybe I'll just stop my milk, idk Chloé: already going to have all this flab to get rid of, I don't want a boob job as well Chloé: Daddy would never pay for that 🙄 Buster: You'll be fine Buster: My Aunt had 10 and she looks the same as she did in all the photos from before, I swear Chloé: WHAT Chloé: that's like something out of the 1900s Buster: I told you I had a lot of cousins, how many did you think I meant, like 4? Chloé: Well yes Chloé: I don't have any because my only Auntie must be barren or something Chloé: and all her husbands keep dying Chloé: How does she pay for them Buster: 😂 Buster: She's literally a genius hot shot engineer and her husband's got a restaurant here that everyone raves about Chloé: It's not funny Chloé: It's very shaming 😂 Buster: It is quite funny, babe Chloé: Maybe your family isn't as chavvy as I thought Buster: Rude Buster: I thought we were being nice to each other Chloé: I am! Chloé: I said they weren't Buster: But you said you reckoned they were Buster: So I dread to think Chloé: I told you before Chloé: everyone thinks so Chloé: and that one cousin didn't exactly help your rep Buster: Yeah well, everyone thinks they know lots of things Chloé: Well come on, you've got to admit Buster: What? Chloé: I know it's your family but state of her Chloé: like you said, quite funny, right? Buster: What's so wrong with her? I don't see it Buster: Or find it funny Chloé: Where to begin 😂 Buster: How about you don't Chloé: 🤐 Buster: Better Chloé: Naughty Buster: Behave, you know that's not how I meant it Chloé: Shame Buster: Don't start Chlo Buster: You'll ruin our new rapport Chloé: 😥 Chloé: Fine Buster: Yeah? Good Buster: You need to be fine with it Chloé: But whyyyy Chloé: we're having a baby Buster: We MIGHT be having a baby, but I have a girlfriend, definitely Buster: And even if I didn't, I'm not going there with you Chloé: DEFINITELY Chloé: a baby's for life Chloé: girlfriend has a shelf-life of 2 months, max Buster: For your life, I don't know if this baby has anything to do with mine Buster: And maybe that's how long your boyfriend's last but Chloé: 😤 ugh Chloé: I'm just saying Chloé: this is more serious than whatever little thing you've got going on Buster: Act like it then Chloé: You too Buster: I can't act like anything Buster: I'm not stepping up for a kid that isn't mine Buster: So until I know, this is what you get Chloé: I'll prove it to you Buster: Please do, either way Chloé: You aren't getting out of it that easy Chloé: it's 100% yours Buster: If this kid is mine, I'm not trying to get out of it Buster: But look at it from my side, yeah? Chloé: No, you're calling me a slag Buster: I've never said that Buster: But that night I was blackout levels of gone, Chlo. I don't remember fucking you, if I did, that's just the facts Chloé: Umm I'm not so sad I'd make it up Buster: Regardless Chloé: What are you up to? Buster: Same as you I assume, getting my school work outta the way so I can do shit I actually want Chloé: No but everyone else is Chloé: No one will come out, I'm so bored Buster: Go get your vitamins Chloé: Not the shopping I had planned 😂 Buster: You can reward yourself after Chloé: I'm not going out by myself Chloé: Loser move Buster: Technically you ain't Buster: The baby's coming too so Chloé: 🙄 Buster: Stay in then Buster: Order them online Chloé: Whatever Chloé: Still bored Buster: Hit up one of the lads Buster: I'm sure they aren't that desperate to study Chloé: Haven't you heard? Everyone's all coupled up rn Chloé: 'Cept me Buster: I'm surprised you're letting that stop you Buster: I've told you multiple times I am and it means nothing Chloé: RUDE Chloé: 😲 What do you think of me Chloé: Your girlfriend is either not real or far away, that's why, it's different Buster: It's not Buster: Besides, me and her are in the same city right now so Chloé: It is Chloé: She won't know Buster: Yeah she would, 'cause I'd have to tell her Chloé: Why? Chloé: I'm giving you a free pass here Chloé: Hypothetically Buster: I don't want it Buster: I want her Chloé: I'm not that fat Chloé: I promise Buster: It's not about you Buster: And I highly doubt you're fat, Chlo Chloé: It's never about me Buster: I'm not gonna say I'm sorry Buster: I'm not your boyfriend I can't be that for you Chloé: You're my baby daddy Chloé: that's way more Buster: Don't call me that Buster: Christ Chloé: ��� Chloé: You're funny Buster: Offended it's taken this long for you to realise Buster: 'Cause yeah Chloé: Awh babe Chloé: You've been so grumpy lately I forgot Buster: Can you blame me? Buster: Getting the mood swings in before you do Chloé: Ugh, I'm so not gonna be like that Buster: I don't think you get to decide, babe Chloé: Yeah Chloé: People are just overdramatic Chloé: I'm going to have a waterbirth it's going to be like going to the spa Buster: Good luck with that Buster: I hope you haven't ever shit yourself at the spa though Chloé: BUSTER 😷 Chloé: That's so gross Buster: It happens when you give birth, sorry to be the one to tell you Chloé: Ew no Chloé: You're lying Buster: I ain't Buster: Big family, remember? I've heard worse as well Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I'm not gonna do that it's gonna be so chill Buster: Whatever you say, Chlo Buster: I won't say I told you so after, I'm not that much of a prick Chloé: Although Chloé: I might get a C section Chloé: not decided yet Chloé: it won't be as relaxing but apparently they can do it with less scarring now but idk Chloé: Bikini ready never again 😥 Buster: High waisted though Buster: You'll survive Chloé: That's so middle-aged Chloé: God sake Chloé: can't they just Chloé: vacuum it out Buster: If you have an abortion, yeah Chloé: Not funny Buster: Not joking Buster: Childbirth ain't easy Buster: You're gonna have to deal with it Chloé: It's not that hard Chloé: people do it every day Buster: And shit goes wrong every day too Buster: All you're gonna care about is getting the baby out, scar or not Chloé: Meh, guess so Buster: Be serious Chloé: I am Chloé: It better look cute Chloé: Tori's sister just had a baby and it's so ugly Buster: Well if it's mine you don't have to worry about that Buster: So sort your priorities Chloé: Cockiness is such a turn-off babe 🙄 Buster: Thank god Buster: Turning you on is the last thing I want to do Chloé: DON'T RUIN IT Buster: Honesty isn't gonna ruin anything Chloé: You were being nice Buster: I still am Buster: Being nice isn't the same as wanting to fuck you Chloé: Don't be crass Buster: Whatever Chloé: You have to though Chloé: Do you really want someone else raising your child Buster: What are you talking about? Buster: I don't have to be your boyfriend to be my baby's dad Chloé: You do though or you'll just get pushed out the picture Buster: No I won't Buster: Believe me Chloé: I've not seen my real dad in yonks Buster: Well, that's shit for you but that's not the kind of dad I'm gonna be Chloé: My Dad is great, he sends me loads of money Chloé: Mummy just doesn't want him around, that's all Chloé: or his new wife Buster: Regardless, that's not what it's gonna be like if this baby is mine Chloé: 'Course Chloé: Because you're going to be nice, right? Buster: I'm gonna be around Chloé: Hmpf! Chloé: Not the same thing Buster: I can't make promises Buster: Other than that Buster: How nice we are to each other is a two way thing Chloé: I'm trying Chloé: Let me and you'll see how nice I can be Buster: I'm trying too Buster: But I'm not gonna be a doormat for you Chloé: I don't want you to be Buster: What do you want then, Chlo? Seriously Chloé: Be with me Chloé: Be a family Buster: That's not gonna happen Chloé: Well, I'm not going to just go away Buster: I'm not asking you to Buster: If that's my kid, you can't Chloé: So we may as well be together Buster: No Buster: I'd never do that to a kid, I don't love you Buster: How do you think that's gonna work? Like I'll have girlfriends then come home to you and play happy families Chloé: You haven't tried Chloé: Give me a chance Chloé: and some time Buster: You either want to be someone or you don't Buster: It's not a test you can prep for, babe Chloé: You have to put the work in Buster: I'm putting the work in with someone else Chloé: What's so special about her Buster: What isn't? Buster: Again, I'm not gonna write you a list Chloé: I don't buy it Chloé: charm'll fade Buster: I don't care if you do or don't Chloé: Well you should Chloé: I'm offering you a lot here Buster: Well, don't Chloé: I'm going Chloé: Molls and Liv need a coffee break Buster: Alright Buster: I'll see you when I'm back Chloé: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: How gone are you? Rio: I'm wrecked Buster: I'm fine Buster: 'Course Rio: Okay 😏 Rio: Imma go if you ain't on my level then boy Buster: Don't Buster: Talk to me Rio: Been having fun, boo? Buster: Yeah Buster: Mostly when I knocked James out Buster: 😂 Rio: Why'd you do that then Buster: Never shuts up that boy Rio: You better watch out if that's grounds for a kicking tonight, babe Buster: It's my party I can fight who I want to Rio: 🙄 Rio: You're funny Buster: I know Buster: He knows it now as well, like Rio: Coming in hot, I guess Buster: When am I not? 😏 Rio: 😂 Rio: If you say so Buster: You can say it too, I know you're thinking it Rio: You sure? Buster: Yeah Rio: No doubt you been hearing it all night yeah Rio: unless you're fighting everyone Buster: I wanna hear it from you Rio: I'll ring you in a bit Rio: if you want Buster: Don't forget Buster: You're wrecked Rio: I'm not that far gone Rio: just not tryna be that bitch Buster: What? Rio: Blowing up your phone every five seconds, like Buster: I like it Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I already miss you proper bad Buster: I miss you too Buster: Dancing with all these girls who aren't you Rio: Same Rio: It isn't the same, they aren't you Buster: Exactly Buster: They're boring Buster: and don't even know what they're trying to do Rio: I'm sorry you're bored but I ain't Rio: Don't forget Rio: only I can do you like I do Buster: Don't remind me Buster: I can't stop thinking about you as is Rio: But I have to Buster: No Buster: 'Cause I know and you know I know Rio: Fine Buster: Don't sulk about it Rio: Shut up, I ain't Buster: You never say fine if you are Rio: Whaddya want me to say? Rio: I'm superduper fabulous Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Must be, babe, must be Rio: don't knock it Buster: Shut up Rio: Do you wanna talk to me or nah Rio: gonna get a complex you keep telling me to shut up Buster: I love you Buster: I want you here Rio: Okay said I'm not that gone but Rio: doubt I'm getting on a plane levels of sober, baby Buster: We need a private one Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Both gonna need to be on our grind for a bit longer for that, babe Rio: You cute Buster: I'll call my dad put the demand in before my birthday rolls around Buster: Helicopter at least, like Rio: 😂 Rio: knew you was just spoiling for a fair fight Buster: He wishes it was still fair Rio: Damn Rio: talking an awfully big game tonight boy Buster: Come on Buster: It ain't just talk Rio: I ain't gonna comment Rio: impartial as, obvs Buster: You can say it Buster: Not gonna forward this to him Rio: Wouldn't be the best idea you'd ever had Rio: for many reasons more serious than you doubting his 💪 Buster: I'm not asking you if it's a good idea Buster: Forget it Buster: If you're not gonna be on my side Rio: You're silly Buster: Fuck off Buster: Am not Rio: Don't Pout Rio: we're playing Buster: Whatever Rio: Not whatever Rio: what you thinking? Buster: Like I said, forget it Buster: I've done too many lines Rio: Alright Rio: earnt it after all your 📚🤓 Buster: I forgot shit's better here than in Dublin Buster: One thing that is Rio: 😏 shame you can't do a run for us, like Buster: Come here more Rio: I will Rio: not as if I need to think of an excuse Rio: as long as I avoid your 'rents, it'll be easy Buster: Yeah and they're easy to avoid Rio: Works for me Rio: making awkward morning conversation with 'em the once was bad enough Rio: wasn't even banging you then so Buster: They appeared, we all raised our glasses to cheers and they disappeared again Buster: Good times Buster: You know better now though, yeah? Buster: Fuck being polite Buster: Ignore and avoid like I do Rio: You wanted 'em to stick around and hang? 😂 Rio: I'll stick to avoiding, not their moody teen so I'm not coming at 'em with a fuck off attitude in their own home Buster: 😂 Buster: You keep calling me moody tonight? Buster: You feeling like you're missing out on a decent fight or what? Rio: You know you is Rio: not just got that bottom lip out for the 'gram Rio: nah, all love here, like Buster: I know you wanna fight and fuck Buster: Standard Rio: So what, you reckon 1 outta 2 ain't bad? Buster: Do you reckon I can't fuck you from here Buster: I'm just a phone call away Rio: Don't be a tease again Buster: I'm only a tease if I don't do it Rio: Yeah and you can't rn Rio: I doubt the party's over already Buster: Like that matters Buster: I can do whatever I want Rio: Back on your rich boy hype, yeah? 😉 Buster: Back? I never left it, babe Buster: Forever on this pedestal Rio: 'Course Buster: 💰 talks in whatever postcode, like Rio: Probably true Buster: Actually true Buster: You wouldn't be hustling so hard to make it if it didn't speak for you Rio: Yeah but what's it saying about me to the locals hm Rio: not planning to stay in the 24 forever, shocking, I know Buster: 'Course Buster: You're coming with me Rio: Where? Buster: Everywhere Rio: Yeah Rio: I love you you know Buster: I love you Rio: We're gonna do great things yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: You motivate me, babe Rio: Backatcha Rio: You actually get what I'm trying to do Rio: not just thinking there's nothing else I can do Buster: What cunts are thinking that? Rio: You know, s'what everyone lowkey thinks but doesn't say Rio: but I don't care Buster: Whoever are going around thinking that are the braindead ones Rio: I know I should finish school but it just felt like a waste of time Rio: when I could be out there learning and getting to know the right people to know Buster: You know what you're doing Buster: If they can't work it out, more fool them Rio: Plus I needed the cash for Indie so Rio: Gotta do what you gotta do sometimes Buster: Exactly Buster: Like I gotta finish school so I can get to uni Buster: Even though this school is a headfuck Rio: All about the next step, babe Rio: I couldn't stick it, from what Nance has said and what I've seen of your mates but Rio: is what it is, you're a bit touched if you really rate school, I reckon Buster: 😂 You can't call me that much of a nerd, like Rio: Thank God Rio: taking the whole school boy fantasy vibe way too far, nah 😂 Buster: I know where to draw the line, don't worry Rio: You do? Rio: News to me Rio: Lemme know where I fall, yeah? 😉 Buster: On the right side Rio: Good to know Buster: 😏 Rio: Don't go getting too 😇 on me Buster: 😈 tonight, yeah? Rio: Please Buster: Say it again Rio: Buster Buster: That works too Rio: Save my prettiest pleases for when you can actually hear 'em Buster: Save your voice 'cause we're gonna be on the phone so long you'll start to lose it Rio: 😻 Rio: Promises, promises Buster: You've got it in writing, babe Rio: Catch me sending screenshots of the shit you said drunk to sober you in the AM 😂 Rio: what cures a hangover faster, welcome in advance, baby Buster: I said what I said and I meant what I meant Buster: You can't scare me Rio: Poetic Rio: Catch me swooning 😏 Buster: Shhh Rio: Damn, you mean you ain't gonna recite poetry to me until dawn? Rio: Gutted Buster: I can if you want Buster: This education has equipped me with plenty of that shit Rio: I mean, I'd rather you fucked me like you said you would Rio: if it's all the same to you Buster: I can do both Buster: You'll be the one losing your voice, like, not me Rio: Bit rude you're saying I can't give as good as back Rio: 😒 Buster: I'm just saying you're louder Rio: 😳 Buster: You're so good, baby Buster: Don't doubt 'cause you're meant to be reminding me, remember Rio: Oh right Rio: Lucky I took photos earlier 'cos dread to think Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: well your video got me missing you again, couldn't get ready properly i was so distracted so Rio: had to do something, right? Buster: Show me Buster: I haven't stopped missing you Rio: [All the nudes] Buster: Well now you have to call me Buster: Fuck Rio: Alright Rio: give me a sec to get alone Buster: Okay Rio: [A call later] Rio: S'no joke how cold it is out there Rio: We get it, summer's over Buster: Don't be cuddling up to anyone Rio: Who am I gonna? Rio: A bouncer on my way back in Buster: I know you've got form with it, babe Rio: 'Scuse me? Buster: Keeping 'em on side one way or another Rio: Piss off Rio: I'm not a cuddle whore you are Buster: Fuck off Rio: You can't deny Rio: I been knowing Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww, grumpy baby Rio: you know I don't want anyone who ain't you, not even for hugs Buster: Me either Buster: So don't be chatting like I do Rio: I'm not Buster: Good Rio: Don't be mad Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I'm just wrecked Rio: I know Rio: it's cool Rio: can go all out before school starts again and you've gotta be good Buster: School ain't gotta change a thing Buster: I'm still gonna be 😈 Rio: Hmm Buster: You don't reckon? Rio: Nah, I'm sure you're gonna go outta your way to prove it Rio: coke's just good adderral, yeah 🙄 Buster: You're rolling your eyes but you're not wrong Rio: Oh boy Buster: You love me Rio: 🍀 you Buster: Lucky you Rio: Maybe baby Buster: Did I not just prove it Buster: Or do you need me to call you back Rio: My evil plan Rio: Obviously Buster: [rings her back because he's like that] Rio: You're an idiot Rio: but okay Rio: 🍀 Buster: Tell me you love me Rio: I love you so much Buster: I still miss you Buster: It's so fucked Rio: I know Rio: idk what to do Buster: We just gotta keep doing what we're doing Buster: You're worth it to me Rio: Yeah Rio: it'll be alright Rio: not like we were ever satisfied in person either Rio: can't be helped you're too damn desirable Buster: Can't be helped that we come from the biggest fucking family ever either Buster: It really will be easier here I'm not just saying it to save myself the flight time Rio: Don't worry, I know Rio: happy of the break Rio: always got 2 free days a week, and I can film at yours, even if the quality ain't as good Rio: it'll be easy Buster: Whatever you need to make the quality better just let me know Buster: Not like we're short on space to set up, like Rio: Cheers Rio: I can rock the on the go thing, had to in hotels and shit loads, keeps it real Buster: Alright Buster: But if you need it, send me links to the tech and I'll get it Rio: You're cute Rio: and good Buster: You really matter to me, you know Rio: Shh Buster: You can't make me from there Rio: I don't know, wouldn't be so sure if I was you Rio: you can make me loud from there so Buster: That's different Buster: It's easy Rio: True Rio: such a loud mouth you Rio: god loves a trier, babe Buster: What have you got to make me speechless? That's the only question Rio: Million dollar question, some might say Rio: Have to wait and see Buster: Fuck waiting Buster: Put up or shut up, babe Rio: Your manners really do leave so much to be desired Rio: good thing you're pretty 😜 Buster: It ain't no finishing school I'm at even if some of the girls try and play like they've learned it all Rio: Seen the snaps, babe Rio: even I can see they're no ladies Buster: 😂 Buster: Not something exclusive to the 24, sorry babe Rio: You can keep 'em Rio: keep you posted on if you can post any of your lads, like Buster: No need, I know what you like Buster: And you've got previous to go off too Rio: Don't rush me Rio: that's how James happened and I don't need to repeat that experience Buster: Don't remind me Buster: He did and look what happened there Rio: 😒 Seriously Rio: you're threatening to punch me now okay go off Buster: Shut up no Buster: I'm just saying I don't wanna talk about him Rio: Me either Rio: we're good Buster: Are we good if you think I'm gonna give you a smack? Rio: I was joking, don't worry Buster: Not one of your best Rio: You've gotta relax, babe Buster: Yeah 'cause saying that is really relaxing, like Buster: Stop trying to wind me up Rio: Ugh, alright Buster: Are you really gonna have attitude about it now? Rio: You clearly are Rio: just trying to get on your level, babe Buster: Fuck off Buster: I haven't done anything Rio: Whatever Buster: Just 'cause you're that beautiful doesn't mean you can be that annoying Rio: 😂 Fuck off Buster: No you Buster: Don't whatever me when you've got something to say Rio: I already said it, I'm not gonna tell you to calm down more than once, ain't that fool Buster: Fine Rio: Chat later then Buster: Don't bother Buster: If there's nothing to say there's nothing to say Rio: Jesus Rio: Dramatic, much? Buster: So what? Buster: You'd rather I just nod along to everything, like Rio: Literally, when have I ever said that? Buster: You're saying it now if you're calling me dramatic Buster: I can react how I fucking want Rio: Do then Rio: I ain't gonna nod along either Buster: Then don't Rio: Do you even know what you're reacting to rn Rio: is my point, Buster Buster: Fuck you Buster: I'm reacting to you Rio: This is stupid Rio: We aren't having the same conversation rn Buster: So go Rio: No Rio: I'm not the one that's mad Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I'll go then Rio: Alright Rio: Bye then Buster: 👋 Rio: Mature Buster: I ain't trying to be Rio: Good fucking job, like Buster: Yeah Rio: You know that I'm not mad at you, yeah? Buster: Alright Rio: and you know I don't know why you're mad at me so Buster: I'm not mad you just stress me out Rio: Never said I wouldn't Buster: I know Rio: Alright Buster: Fine Rio: Stop talking Buster: Rude Rio: Well I thought you were going? Rio: maybe you forgot how Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: That I'm helpful, not rude Rio: if you don't wanna talk to me, gotta stop typing Rio: simple Buster: I never said I don't wanna talk to you Rio: Now you're being purposefully headfucky Buster: Fuck off Buster: I am not Buster: You're the one who wanted me to leave Rio: No I never Rio: I just said I wouldn't Buster: Which means you want me to Buster: 'Cause you said this convo was bullshit Buster: We've both got better things to do, yeah? Rio: I did not Rio: I couldn't work out why you were suddenly full aggro Rio: If you like Buster: What do you want? Rio: Just go back to normal Buster: What the fuck does that mean? Rio: Babe, please Rio: just forget this convo ever happened and I will too, yeah? Buster: What like I'm such a cunt that it's gotta be erased? Buster: Fuck that Rio: Not what I said or meant Rio: I just don't reckon we're getting anywhere on this any time soon, right? Buster: On what though? What's your problem with me? Rio: You're not making any sense rn, that is literally it Rio: and I know you're wrecked so it won't matter tomorrow, okay? Buster: 'Cause you're so sober suddenly Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Am I having a go? No Rio: stop taking shit personal when it ain't Buster: Stop telling me how to behave Buster: What the fuck Rio: I give up Rio: Seriously Buster: No you don't Rio: What do you want me to say? Buster: Not that Buster: You don't get to just give up on me, like Rio: I ain't Rio: Honestly, I'm not telling you but I'm asking, please, take a breather Rio: I can call if you want Buster: How? It's mental here Rio: Just walk 'til it ain't Buster: Okay Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Buster: I called Nance she's gonna be so mad Buster: Fix that for me Rio: Oh Christ Rio: what did you even say? Buster: She didn't answer so nothing Buster: I'm not leaving a voicemail like I'm dad Rio: Well, that's something Rio: She'll be fine, can't pretend she's never disgraced herself now Buster: She might reckon I've died Buster: Can't really send a follow up text like I'm alive Rio: I think she might call back herself if she did Rio: or at least let your 'rents know Buster: She'll be asleep though Buster: Fuck knows what time it is Rio: Don't worry, I've got you Rio: everyone's received a drunk dial, even your sister Buster: Don't tell me that Buster: I don't wanna think about cunts drunk dialing my sister Rio: Not like that Rio: probably off me, like Buster: Some of the girls were at the party Buster: The ones she hates Rio: Bit of a cheek init Rio: least Nance weren't there Buster: She should be here though Buster: School starts soon Rio: I know Rio: bit of a commute for her, babe Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Yeah Rio: You too Buster: You're so far away Buster: Everyone is Rio: Oh, babe Rio: not that far, honest Buster: Promise you're still coming here Rio: Of course I am Rio: Try and stop me Buster: I already have, like Buster: Being a prick to you Buster: Not that I was trying to stop you but Rio: Gonna say, surely you can do better than that Rio: You're just high, not holding it against you Buster: I just wanna hold you against me that's why Buster: The summer wasn't long enough Rio: Soon, baby Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm going bed, come with me? Buster: I'll have to kick everyone out first Buster: Wait for me Rio: 'Course Buster: [passage of time while he kicks the posh twats out] Buster: Are you still up? Rio: Just about Rio: 😴 Buster: You don't have to be now, baby Buster: We can sleep Rio: Good, I don't like sleeping without you Buster: I know Buster: Me either Buster: I'm gonna call and stay on the phone with you though, don't worry Rio: 💕

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: Idk if you're still up but I need that favour called in whilst we're in Spain okay Grace: No drama Grace: Within reason, anything, obvs Janis: Yeah, nothing big, I swear Janis: just...if Jim contacts you, just say I'm crazy busy, alright? Idk, you know the bullshit, but fob him off and don't tell him anything more than you have to Grace: Okay Grace: He'll buy that, we've been here, there and everywhere on our end of this exchange Janis: Yeah, idk if he will Janis: and idk if he'll even bother coming to you but if he does Grace: What's wrong, babe? Grace: What did he do? Janis: Nothing, he didn't do anything wrong Janis: but I fucked up big time, never a better time for scheduled running away though fuck knows it ain't long enough Grace: Yeah tbf whatever else is off your timing's not Janis: I'm such a bitch Grace: I'm not gonna kick you when you're obvs down, but like Grace: I know Grace: What happened? Janis: Yeah Janis: pretending I was capable of anything but was my mistake Janis: He told me he loved me and I just fucking Janis: ran away Grace: Fuck Grace: Okay Grace: That's bad, but it could be worse. I mean, I know you love him back Janis: Obviously not or I wouldn't have done that, would I Grace: Sure Jan Grace: Getting scared doesn't mean you don't Janis: You don't get it, Grace Janis: his Mum ain't dead, alright Janis: she left as in she's missing and they don't know where she is, still Janis: now do you see how bad it is Grace: Oh Grace: But he knows you, he'll understand Grace: I mean, yeah, it'll have hurt Janis: He shouldn't have to understand Janis: It was fucked up Janis: I can't be that, what he wants Grace: Give him some credit though Grace: He knows about Edie Grace: He just knows Grace: And he wants to be with you. Obviously Janis: Having a dead sister isn't a free pass or an excuse Grace: You aren't trying to use one Grace: You're torn up like Grace: You wouldn't care if you were just hiding behind that stuff Janis: Whatever Janis: doesn't change the fact it happened Janis: got to own it Grace: And talk to him Grace: I owe you one and I'll do what you asked me if that's really what you want but I don't think so Janis: It isn't but it's what it is Janis: I can't change how I am Janis: that was me trying and it fucked up Janis: shouldn't have dragged him into it in the first place Grace: Please! You've never dragged that boy anywhere Grace: Whatever you do next you probably owe him an explanation for what you did Janis: I could've kept him away if I had wanted to Janis: do it with everyone else Janis: I know but Janis: what'll it change or achieve Grace: And how's that worked out for you bitch, I'm right here Grace: And he still would've caught his feelings, can't control that Grace: Like you can't let him think whatever he is right now cos OMG Janis: I know Janis: but I can't turn 'round like oops now Janis: he ain't gonna want to see me rn Grace: Why? Grace: You've run before Grace: And he'll wanna know how you really feel Grace: Plus if you're okay cos lbr he's one of the good ones Janis: yeah but Janis: not like that Janis: there's no coming back from that Grace: didn't you think that after Skerries? Grace: I'm not trying to be a bitch, but genuinely Grace: You can't say that until you speak to him Janis: I know Janis: I can't though Janis: not right now Janis: maybe not ever Janis: I don't know what to say Grace: I get it Grace: It's hard to be honest Grace: especially if you've already fucked up Grace: Don't rush tbf cos that might be worse Janis: Should I just go Janis: or explain as much as we've said here Janis: like, I'm sorry and I need time and all that shit Grace: I think so Grace: even if its a text Grace: just say what you can Janis: Alright Janis: I will Janis: Thanks, Grace Grace: Anytime, you know Grace: If you need to sneak to his I can cover for you Janis: Cheers Janis: I just can't Grace: I know Grace: you've made it this far though, like that's a thing Grace: Like you said, you push everyone away but he's lasted Janis: 'til now yeah Janis: ah fuck Grace: I can't keep a lad ever Grace: you've been together ages Grace: you havent done everything wrong, babes Janis: That's the lads you've picked, though Grace: not an excuse if yours aren't Janis: alright well, we aren't here to drag you and your life choices rn Janis: so you're okay Grace: 😌 Grace: Do you want me to come in, I can shoo my boy back to where he should be sleeping Janis: nah Janis: not trying to ruin your good time Janis: i'm fine Grace: do you wanna go tomorrow? we could say you're sick or something Janis: nah, i've got to go Janis: can't stay here Grace: 👌 Grace: do message him or whatever though Janis: 'course Janis: anyway go get some sleep Janis: or whatever Grace: I can't Grace: lowkey stressed about tomorrow Janis: why? Grace: I'm not making rn about me Grace: you don't need to hear it Janis: feel free Janis: any distraction Grace: okay but just know it's stupid and cringe in comparision Grace: I'm freaking out cos I have to meet his family and friends like I know he did ours, but we weren't a thing, then Grace: idek Janis: you'll be good Janis: just let him set the tone and follow his lead on that one like Janis: that way, you can't go too hard Janis: or undersell it and look like a bitch Janis: be the least of our worries if his fam are psychos, running for our lives, like Grace: can they even be as weird as ours Janis: they'd struggle Janis: no offence, like, but that trophy is ours Grace: 😂 Janis: drafting the text now Grace: you've got this, babes Janis: how do I even put this in words Janis: I so don't Grace: start with sorry Janis: yeah Janis: just spam him with that 'til he blocks me, like Grace: and don't ask him if he's okay cos like obvs not Janis: 😖 Janis: i want to die Grace: I know Grace: not that I've been here myself but Janis: I know I'm whining Janis: I'll just do it Janis: stop being a pussy Grace: oh honey Grace: I've whined to you so many times, it's 👌 Janis: [Sends the text] Janis: is that Janis: i mean, that's alright, yeah? Grace: Yeah Grace: I think so Grace: It's sounds good Grace: Ugh not like Grace: It sounds right Janis: Okay Janis: That's all we can aim for right now Janis: not like it'll suffice Janis: already fucked it up, no avoiding that Grace: not to be that bitch but let me know when he replies Grace: not if cos he will Janis: yeah, sure Janis: i wouldn't normally drag you into my stuff but Janis: i didn't know what to do Janis: still don't but yeah Grace: I know Grace: but I'm happy to have still been up Grace: can't do much but anyway Janis: nah, you've helped Grace: 🤞 Grace: I want to Janis: anyway, blatantly not going to bed but no need for us both to be sat here waiting for the response Janis: you at least try, yeah? Grace: Sure Grace: Won't be that many hours until we have to be going anyway Grace: my concealer will be earning it's price tag Janis: right, might be needing to borrow that Janis: or some ridiculously oversized shades Janis: very european Grace: whichever you go with, I've got you covered Grace: 💋

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon