#i mean manga!ww's tears at the end could've been tears of regret. but we don't know. which is the point.

[hikennosabo]

in a potentially unwise move, after this week of reading and ruminating over trimax volume 10, i rewatched trigun 98 episode 23.

wolfwood's death in 98 is sad in a different way than his manga death because in the anime he dies with regrets.

of course in the manga it's sad for a lot of reasons - the inevitability of it, the way he can't be with his loved ones anymore, vash's grief. but he was able to succeed in protecting the orphanage and saving livio, he went out on his own terms, and he realizes in the end how loved he is.

in the 98 anime, he says he still has so much to do and that he doesn't want to die yet. he recognizes that he didn't have to live by killing, and he dies questioning if his way of living up until now was wrong. the last thing he says is "i did not want to die this way."

it's very sad either way, and the manga version makes me 500% more emotional, but the fact that there's no comfort in the end for 98!wolfwood like there was for manga!wolfwood... it's getting to me.

also it kills me that 98!wolfwood says (paraphrasing) "if i'm reincarnated i want to live in a more peaceful world" and yet... he keeps getting "reincarnated" into the same violent story. he died in 98, he died in the manga, and he will die in stampede, too.

have you ever met a man so thoroughly doomed by the narrative as nicholas d. wolfwood. it's what the d stands for. it feels so profoundly unfair that he can't just. live.