#i mean i Am almost done ive just. BEEN 'almost done' for weeks 😭

[fruityumbrella]

the greatest lie the devil ever told was 'yo im basically finished with this fic! ill definitely be able to upload it in like four days!'

[quodekash]

whoop im back (was stressed and forgot to post my thoughts), here's we are episode whatever-last-week-was

we’re like 5 mins in and im already on the verge of tears, i just love this show so much

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE THAT WAS SO FUCKING TENDER

“i want to be water. i want to be the reason you feel good” WHAT THE FUCK DUDE DONT MAKE ME SOB LIKE THAT

WTF THAT WAS THE CUTEST MOST TENDER LITTLE CHEEK KKSS I EVER SAW

WE’RE 10 MINS IN AND THEYRE ALREADY KISSING

I KNOW THEYRE THE MAIN COUPLE AND THEY FINALLY FIGURED OUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER BUT HOLY FUCKIGN SHIT THAT MIGHT BE A RECORD

i do love it tho

frankly i quite enjoy when they kiss

AND THEY KISS A G A I N ????

DUDE WTF

GENUINELY THIS MIGHT BE A RECORD

there’s something so beautiful about being fully clothed in a pool with your crush, kissing him passionately twice, and then pushing him away and splashing him with water and it immeditaely turns into a water-splashing-fight

they just made out twice in that photo

I just love it

I fucking love toey so much, just skateboarding right into his (unofficial) boyfriend’s class

bro this ep so far has just been fluff after fluff after fluff, my heart can barely take it

ITS A BABY BIRD

HE FOUND A BABY BIRD

OR MAYBE A HURT BIRD

HOLY SHIT IM DEFINITELY GONNA CRY

HE NAMED IT PENGUIN 😭😭😭

idk much about fans but this feels final coded somehow

NO STOP ITS TOO DOMESTIC

I JUST STOPPED CRYING ABOUT THE BIRD

FUCK

I LOVE FLUFF SO MUCH

phUM-

thEYRe SO fuCKKIN G DOmesTIC

(need y'all to know that those two messages when spamming my friend were four minutes apart)

I LOVE IT WHEN MY CHARACTERS ARE COMMUNICATING

IT MAKES ME STIM HARDER THAN WHEN THEY KISS

I JUST GET ALL GIDDY WHEN THEYRE BEING HEALTHY IN THERI RELATIONSHIPS

...you mean lady and the tramp????

HIS GIDDY LITTLE EXXPRESSION AS HIS BOYFIREND DANGLES A LITTLE PIECE OF SPAGHETTI OVER HIS FACE GIJKERGSB

THEY KISSEEEE

theres so many kisses and so much communication in this episode, i might actually die

AAAAAA TANFANG ARE FUCKING BOYFRIENDS GEIRJDGBRJKBGJR

theyre also fucking

well like. almost.

spicy makeout at the very least

Love that for him

real tho

NO BUT HE TRIES TO CHEERS PUN AND CHAIN, WHO IN A MONUTE AREA BOUT TO LADY AND THE TRAMP UNO SPAGHETTO

WTF MATT

THEY WERE LITERALLY ABOUT AN INCH FROM KISSING

YOU FUCKING RUINED IT MATT

good

WHAT

TF????

I definitely am

story's reactions to phumpeem specifically are sending me

THE WAY HE JUST CHUGS IT

you cant tell me that shriek wasnt "FUCKING CALLED IT"

truly felt it in my soul

I think ive done almost exactly the same thing before when being right about something (because it truly happens very rarely)

Beer’s fully just nodding at them both cos hes known for WEEKS

or at least suspected it

OKAY SO NEXT WEEK: -chainpun are raising Penguin the bird together (holy fucking shit) -q is FINALLY asking toey to proper date him -Q APPEARS TO BE IN A BAND WITH BEER ON DRUMS AND CHAIN ON GUITAR IM GONNA CRY -fang’s hair looks amazing -PHUMPEEM BEACH AND ALOS THERES A HORSE?? -phum hitting on peem literally right in front of q and his expression is priceless

bro literally fangirling so hard rn

[camywamycam]

what was left behind in the rubble P.3

702 words

soon to be harry x reader 

TW//WRITTEN AT 4 AM BY A SLEEP DEPRIVED TEEN!!!

A/N

I know this is a short chapter and im sorry 😭 I finished writing this at 4 am because I can only write at night since I'm with my mom and siblings all day and I refuse to write in front of them 😭 maybe it wasnt a good idea to start a full ass fanfic story with a plot 2 weeks before I leave for summer camp but yolo, ive decided im gonna have this fic go from the summer - hoggwarts and y/n will start acting a lot more like Sirius iykwim 

y/ns pov

................

If you had been in the right mindset, you would have impatiently pushed Remus away the second he stepped foot into your room. However, at that moment, all you needed was a hug. You clung onto the soft fabric of his cable knit sweater, which carried the strong scent of chocolate, cigars, and parchment. Remus held you firmly in his arms, patiently waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to open up about your thoughts.

"I hate him," you said in a broken voice.

"You don't mean that," Remus replied, his uncertainty evident in his words. "He loves you, he just... doesn't know the right way to express himself, that's all."

"Well, he obviously doesn't have that problem with Potter," you spat, your voice tinged with envy. "When I traveled all the way to Europe to see my biological father, I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be a total dick."

Remus sat and listened attentively as you rambled, finally realizing how left out you had truly been. The other children never spoke to you, and neither did the adults, except for the usual greetings. The more he spoke to you, the more he learned about your experiences. He discovered that while you were neglected at Grimlands place, you had met a group of muggles who had welcomed you into their friend group so at least you hadn't been totally alone. In the mere 45 minutes of conversation, Remus had already learned more about you than your very own father.

You and Remus continued to chat throughout the night in the room which you had made your own. For the first time in a while when you woke up that morning you didn't feel absolutely terrible. you turned to your side and checked your phone notifications before getting ready for the day.

you tried to sprint down the stairs as quietly as possible knowing the other adults in the house wouldn't be so happy about you sneaking off to hang around strange people whom they knew nothing about. It was almost comical how much they tried to control you when you and they both knew they didn't care about you in the slightest. As you raced down the stairs you bumped into a pale boy with messy black hair and glasses that were a tad bit too large for his face. "black." he spat "potter." "and where do you think you are going?" he said sassily 

harrys pov

....................

it was strange seeing y/n actually dressed. since none of the kids went outside we mostly stayed in our lounging clothes. I took note of y/ns red top, flared jeans, a jean jacket that was covered in patches, and Converse. She actually looked quite nice... but I would never admit that. 

"out." that's all she said as she tried pushing past me. I grabbed a hold of her wrist "What's your problem? You've been acting rude ever since you got here. You could at least try to talk to your dad." she scoffed in my face "Oh I've tried. he's the one who doesn't want me here." "Maybe he would actually like you if you weren't such a bitch." I was shocked at the words falling from my mouth. did I say that out loud? my thoughts were confused as y/n turned around and punched me square in the nose. Adults rushed in as they heard me fall into a vase smashing it while holding my bloody nose. Mrs. Weasly scolded y/n “what on earth have you done!” she screamed at y/n but she just looked around with a red face and big eyes as she rushed towards the door slamming it shut, not that anyone cared.

"don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry," you thought to yourself as you ran to your friends' house. luckily she asked no questions and just welcomed you in with open arms. you eventually told her what had happened at Grimmlands place and she was pissed. both her parents said you could stay with them as long as you needed. they even let you move into the guest room so you wouldn't have to continue sleeping on your friend's floor. you know that you can't stay here long since school is starting soon, but you might as well enjoy it while you can.

tag list 

@moonys0chocolate @venomsvl  @quackitysdrugdealer @superduckmilkshake

[jazz-bazz]

@jesusbutbetterrr‘s Ghoulettes Weeks 2024! Week 2 : Stealing clothes & Period stuff

i think this ended up more borrowing than stealing? im basing this on my sister and i arguing about clothes

also im kinda reducing my time on tumblr bcs reports and exams 😭 so imma sometimes go poof a bit, but i’ll try my best to finish ghoulettes weeks!

i tried writing but my brain has been mush this past week 😭 plus ive been sick since wednesday so im sleeping a lot (or maybe thats because of the mush brain… who knows)

The ghoul dens that afternoon were a chaos, the ghoulettes were going on a girls only trip the next day, and they were packing. And if you're like me when packing, there's gonna be clothes every-fucking-where. Not helped that the ghoulettes were going to a concert too, and need a rawkin' outfit, of course.

"Has anyone seen my scarf? I need it for the trip," Mist shouted from her room.

"Scarf? You mean this thin scarf? Is this yours?" Cumulus replied, going out of her room into the hallway, a scarf dangling from her fingers.

"Yes! Thank you Lu!" Mist took the scarf with a kiss to Cumulus' cheek.

"Aw... I was planning to wear it, how did it end up in my room anyway?"

"I think it's from last time we piled there after going to the bar? Maybe it fell or something, I don't know, I was pretty tipsy then. Anyway, you have your outfit and makeup planned for the concert?"

"Mostly yeah, but I still want to rummage in Rora's room for some accessories, how about you?"

"I'm gonna ask Cirrus for a cute top and then borrow those boots from Rain that I've been eyeing, but otherwise I'm done packing."

"Whoa, I just finished picking outfit and still need to pack everything," Cumulus said with a laugh.

"I'll leave you to it then, gonna bother Rainy for the boots, bye Lu!"

"Bye Mist!"

On her way to Rain's room, Mist met Aurora, apparently also headed to Rain's room. But instead of Rain, Dewdrop was the one opening the door when they knocked on Rain's door, "Hello ladies, what can I help you with?"

"Hey, Dew. Is Rain here?" Aurora asked.

"They're in the shower now, but probably only for a couple more minutes, they've been in there since half an hour ago. Would you beautifuls like to come in?" He said while opening the door wider.

Rain's room was beautiful, light blue walls with a darker blue ceiling painted with sea lives, and when it's dark, some of the fishes would light up, and also the corals along the bottom edge of the walls, very relaxing. Mist and Aurora sat on the couch while Dewdrop got on the bed to wait for Rain.

"I thought you guys are packing for your trip?" Dew asked.

"Yeah, but you know we're going to that concert while on the trip? So we need clothes, and you know those pretty boots Rain has? I want to ask them if I can borrow that for the trip, but I'm almost done packing," Mist answered him.

"I'm almost done too, just wanna see if I can borrow one of Rain's dresses, if not then maybe I'll ask Cirrus."

"I'm sure they'll let you borrow them if they're not planning to wear it while you guys are gone."

Just then the door to the bathroom was opened and Rain stepped out with their hair wrapped in a towel, "Hi girls, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hey Rainy, Mist and I were wondering if we could borrow some of your things for the concert, Mist said she wants your boots, and I want one of your dresses."

"Oh sure! The boots are over there, Mist, you can take them. And Rora, which dress do you want?"

"Thanks Rain! I'll return them back squeaky clean after we get back. Rora, I'm gonna finish packing and bother Cirrus, alright? Oh and Cumulus said she wants to ask you for some accessories later."

"Bye Mist! Thanks for the info," Aurora waved.

"Cirrus was just here before I showered asking me for a skirt, and now you two. What am I, a clothing store?" Rain said with a laugh, "Anyway you can take a look in my closet and pick the dress you want, Rora."

"Not their fault your closet basically is a store, babe," Dew replied.

"Well you also keep buying me new ones, Dew. And not my fault those clothes look good and I need them," Rain said with a little pout.

"Because you look good in them! And I like seeing you look good."

"Okay lovebirds, cut it out," apparently Aurora was done picking out her dress and showed it to Rain, who approved, "I'm gonna finish packing, you guys. And thanks again Rainy!"

On her way back to her room, Aurora met Sunshine, who asked her for permission to pillage in her closet for some clothes, "I've asked everyone else but I still lack some kind of pants or skirt or whatever, so you're my next target!"

"No problem, come on in, Sunny," Aurora said upon reaching her room, "What do you need?"

"I've got this crop top from Cirrus, this bandana for my hair from Lus, and this cardigan if it's windy from Mist, and I have a pair of cute socks to wear with this, so I just need pants, any ideas?"

"I have just the thing!" Aurora rushed to her drawers and dug around for who knows what. Then someone knocked on the door, "Hey Rora, can Cirrus and I come in?" They heard Cumulus say.

"Sure! Just give me a minute to look for my shorts somewhere around here, I just washed it a couple days ago."

"Oh hey Sunny! Still pillaging around for your outfit?" Cirrus asked.

"Yep, this is the last one I need then I can start packing my things!"

“Nice! You guys excited for the trip?”

“Hell yeah I am!” Aurora shouted while still looking for her shorts, with the other ghoulettes echoing her enthusiasm.

“Finally! Here Sunny, you can have these,” Aurora handed Sunny the thing she was looking for, “Oh yeah, Lus, Mist said you wanna borrow some accessories?”

“Yes, that’s actually while I’m here. Cirrus was done so she comes with to help me pick.”

“Go wild then, I’ve already picked mine so you can take whatever catches your eyes.”

————

this is actually more peaceful than when i was packing for a 10 days trip with my family, not helped by the fact that my sister, my mom, and i all wear the same size (except for jeans though) and the fact that i didnt bring much clothes home so i gotta borrow their things a lot, and that my sister and i kinda have similar styles so we argued a lot 😂

[nykloss]

stumbled across some of your posts about a code lyoko ttrpg

i am interested please tell me more 😭

ive been wanting to run code lyoko dnd for so long but i dont have the smarts to change dnd to make it feel code lyoko

Hey there! I'm super excited that someone's interested in this because it's such a passion project of mine haha, I'm sorry in advance if this answer is more than you bargained for!

To give you the rundown, I ran a very brief and experimental dnd 5e hack for Code Lyoko a couple of years ago for some friends. It was a lot of fun, but the system was SO badly Frankenstein'ed that we ran into a lot of technical issues, especially regarding the Lyoko/reality split and how it effected different builds. The old guide for that hack can be found here for free, but please take note that it is very informal and poorly optimized!

Recently though, I've been experimenting with non-dnd systems and building my own tabletop games, which is where Warriors of Xanadu comes into play. (This might get lengthy so feel free to skip to the TLDR.)

Warriors of Xanadu is a code-lyoko/garage-kids inspired system that I'm working on myself with the help of a few more experienced friends. It's built off of the Apocalypse World framework (basically a 2d6 system–if you've played Monster of the Week, Masks, or Avatar: Legends, think something like that) specifically designed to work well with the world and story CL provides. That means all the gameplay mechanics are inherently relevant to running code-lyoko-inspired adventures and there's no extra work to be done on your part. It's also a lot easier to teach/learn than something like DnD. (Even the character sheets are designed to be accessible so players could technically make their character with just their printed-off sheets and no additional resources! Much easier than dnd.)

Each non-GM player plays as a "Hero" and chooses a unique combination of a playbook (centered around academic character tropes like cool kid, geek, class clown, etc.) and a class sheet (how they appear on "Xanadu," with options like rogue, mage, warrior, etc.). Then, In-game, heroes go through episodic challenges where they encounter problems in reality caused by "the Virus," and must transport themselves to Xanadu to combat it. There's also a handful of original mechanics relating to social/academic rapport, corruption from the supercomputer, etc. The health/harm system and combat is inspired by Apocalypse World and Monster of the Week, and is meant to inspire a more survival/horror element than what something like dnd would provide. (Essentially the goal is not to engage in and "win" lengthy combat encounters, but to stay alive and usually avoid enemies when possible.)

I feel it's also important to note that it's not 1:1 Code Lyoko; it's very transformative and a handful of ideas are heavily abstracted to be more fun in a ttrpg setting. It's open-ended and customizable enough that you could technically run an unrelated story with it. That also means that there's some fun surprises for folks familiar with Code Lyoko, though, and you could still run something close-to-canon if you wanted.

The first draft of WoX is about 60-70% completed, I just need to finish the GM-heavy parts of the manual, finish some of the moves, and actually put together fillable playbooks/class sheets. I'm hoping to have it completed and ready to playtest by the end of the summer, but that's a loose deadline. Once I've done some playtesting and gotten feedback from others, I'll probably release the first public version on drivethru rpg and/or itch.io as a free or PWYW sorta deal.

TLDR; Warriors of Xanadu is a powered-by-the-apocalypse style trrpg system I'm working on. It's made from the ground up to support a Code Lyoko inspired campaign. I'm almost done with it but still have some work to do!

If you're comfy coming off of anon, I'd be happy to make note of you and send you the playtest version when I'm done with it, or answer any additional questions! (Same goes for anyone else reading this!)

[skyward-floored]

peggy

pegs

peg the leg

floored

my darling beloved.

i am VIBRATING OUT OF MY SKIN.

there are SEVEN DAYS left of school, excluding weekends. and then the day after that im going to concert in san antonio.

not to mention that i am waiting for my copy of totk to come in

my sister preordered hers on the nintendo site i think so hers just got downloaded to her switch IMMEDIATELY (ive only seen one thing of it btw and it was the inventory screen and istg wild looks SO PRETTY with his hair down) so im trying to avoid spoilers from her while waiting for my copy to come in cause im p sure we got mine from gamestop so im getting a physical copy (jokes on her, that means i can play it on multiple profiles instead of just one and she cant haha loser)

anyways this is going to be a VERY busy two weeks

also heres the nails im gonna go get tomorrow!! im just getting them painted bc i DESPISE acrylic nails really all fake nails but acrylics especially i think they look amazing but keep them away from me they are Bad Feeling and Mess With My Hand Eye Coordination

-scoots

Scooooots!! :D

HOORAY FOR SCHOOL ALMOST BEING DONE I hope you enjoy your concert!!

Ooooof, I’m sure waiting for totk to come in is harrrrd, it looks really fun from what I’ve seen/heard/peeked at (😭) And you are so correct, he looks so pretty with his hair down. men with long hair hgdgbgdjdgnjhkl

I like what you’re going to do with your nails! I haven’t painted mine in... a long time XD but I’ve been meaning to lately.

[aroaceofthesea]

Anyways a bit of a recap of my life these last few weeks bc its crazy how much stuff ive done what do you mean its only the 14th of july it feels like summer should be ending soon and ive been very inactive on here:

Starting with sant joan lol (aka 24th of june) some friends came over and we hadnt really seen each other in a couple years (like yes but not really really like it was always super awkward but it was super cool this time😋😋)

Then the next day when they left one of my best friends came home too :) he was at the town next to mine and we spent the afternoon together :)

Then we did diving classes with my mom and also some family friends im now an open water diver that was pretty random ngl

Then after like. 2 days. chilling with just my mom (my sister was like 100% of the day every day with some friends that were around) some friends from a summer camp i did last year came over😋😋

They spent like 4 days i loved every day ngl we played cards a lot we went to the beach we did so many things how did we have time to play mao so much thats crazy lol (also so many crazy rules @ ppl that i know irl i have so many great rules to add when we play again weve gotta do iit)

When they left it was sad :( but i had no time to mope bc i had exactly 15 minutes at home so i kust took a shower and then went with another friend to canet rock (catalan music festival) it was super coool :) had the opportunity to see oques grasses live again♠️🪿 (though they didnt play bancals😭😭 one of my fave songs ever)(they have too many epic songs to play them all they need an extra hour at least ngl) anyways it was crazy loved almost all of it (not miki nuñez why did they put that guy in there) and yeah it was super cool

Then i went home arrived at like 9:15 am and proceeded to sleep almost 25h until 10 am the next day im told i missed a sushi lunch with family friends :(

The next day some friends were like who avalon :) so ofc i was like meee (usually during summer im not in the city but i was that say so ofc i was like i gotta go) (just so you gt an idea i couldnt talk like at all like half my sentences were whispered bc i had lost my voice at the festival and that game is like. you gotta talk or why are you playing lol) anyways luckily they guy i had gone with to the festival was also there and also couldnt talk so at least i wasnt alone😅😅

Then i was going back home and on the way home i met one of my only remaining childhood friends lol she went with me to elementary school (or idk what you call it until 6th grade whatever) and plays the trumpet with me and we spend a lot of the summer together and it was nice to see her she had also gone to that festival (its a very very popular festival and ppl my age could go basically for free so a lot of ppl went) and also had no voice lol but it was nice to see her

Then with my parents we went and had a pizza :)

Then i spent the week in barcelona (were talking about this week already) and tuesday a friend came over bc hes from outside but had a play in barcelona like every night that week (he plays the trombone hes reaaally good) so we spent the mornings together and then the afternoons he went there (i wish i could go they were playing with fucking dagoll dagom (catalan company that made famous musicals in catalan like mar i cel and they are closing the company this year😢😢) like hoow i wanna go😭😭)

Then friday i went to my summer home and there were my mom and also that friends brother and father lol so anyway weve spent the weekend together and it was rlly fun

And also like i was looking for cool concerts around here this summer bc festa major concerts are just 🔝🔝 you get to see your fave groups for free and like even if they are pretty popular when it isnt in a big town or a very well connected one maybe you have 100 or 200 ppl to very known bands like its crazy anyway i was checking (using the very efficient method of looking where each concert of each group was and putting it on google maps) and i was getting kinda depressed bc there werent any of the bands i like most and then i was like ok whatever lets check buhos AND THERE WAS ONE YESTERDAY (THE DAY I WAS LOOKING) AT LIKE 20 MINS so obviously we went and like even though i was basically alone (bc the guy i was with is like 14 and he knew some friends that were also close and went too so he spent most of the time with them and i didnt have any friends close) it was a buhos concert so obviously it was super cool also rlly cool bc they are like one of the only bands i like that didnt play at the festival from last week so rlly cool that ive gone to concerts of all my fave bands in just a week i love this (also i was like. 3 meters away from where the tahirt they threw fell😭😭 i wanted a buhos supporter tshirt thats sad)

OH ALSO yesterday too we went to the beach and we played volleyball with random ppl and it had been a whilr since we did that bc they usually see my sister who is very good and they are intimidated but my sister wasnt there so ppl kept coming and asking us to play (we have a net which is like telling ppl pls comee if youre less than like 7 or 8 ppl) and it was rlly fun (even though that one guy was very very annoying but the rest were rlly nice lol)

So yeah now you know basically everything about my life the last 3 weeks

[metamorphosisme]

Curls hair, puts on makeup, and new dress to pick up my man. Not only does he not acknowledge me at all but as soon as we get home he jumps in the shower then half way threw calls me over. "Me and our daughter are going over ***s house for a bbq idk how many people is gonna be there but there will be kids ectect" after I say ok and a long pause he goes "you can come if you want"... I just said it ok and made up the excuse for taking care or the baby. I just had that gut feeling that he didn't want me there, it sucks, I thought I looked ok even though I gained 5lbs back... I just wanted to feel... alright? ... anyway Then right before I leave he goes "what did you do today?" I said worked, nothing why? He goes "you smell like a dog I keep gagging.".... broke my fucking heart dude... he did ask for a kiss but then left... back for another binge once he was gone... im so fucking sad man and if I show him I'm sad he gets mad it's so ridiculous.

When he gets home I'm sleeping on the couch and I open my eyes, he looks down at me and says "why do you have that fucking face on for already". Like 😭😭 legit all I did was open my eyes.... I just went upstairs away from him he was obviously drinking.. he's been drinking for about 3 or 4 months straight everynight.. only 6 16oz millers but the "only" is me trying to tell myself it's ok because he works.... how am I supposed to tell him to kick something when I can't even cut down my fucking eating... ive gained 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I legit feel like the fat I can see in my face, and my stomach is puffed out, like I see it and maybe that's why he's being mean to me again.... ha... another thing we were sitting on the couch he ate this peanut butter thing and threw half on a napkin on the table, time goes by so I broke a piece off to try and he looked at me horrified, " just because I didn't eat it doesn't mean I wanted you too"..... you think it would have been a sign...

Idk if he only likes me when I'm skinny because I only like me when I'm skinny but mam screaming sick kids, his bipolar / drinking, + trying to work and running a fucking house and running everywhere the fuck else everyday is tough man... I just wanna be happy so bad. My doctor just puts me on any new medication that's on the market, my therapist said I need a psychiatrist and a nutritionist, the psychiatrist won't call me back and the doctor shit needs to be done in secret because my man doesn't believe in that.... (he went to my doctor for his bipolar and he almost killed himself multiple times from the meds..) I've been debating ozemp or the off brands but I'm seeing A LOT of people having suey thoughts on it, it's like a whole underground thing nobody is talking about and it's not like self ouchy it's like felt so low one day did some crazy shit and is now in a coma... idk man I just don't know... I just ordered elevate from avantera to see if maybe that helps with my compulsions. I don't have add as far as I know because I can take an addi and feel my body pick up... could be wrong but I've always heard if you have add and you take one you get slow so trail and error I don't believe that's my case.. oy idk now im rambling to my damn self.. Hopefully I'll read this later and maybe it will give me the strength to be strong and not give in. Eating helps for a moment like a drug but the reprocussions of it are just foul... oh ha and side note deff the weight plus my sugar cuz I'm back to being in pain.. again omad I'm done I can't go on like this... lol no eating was so easy when I was able to just work and sleep all day haha now add having to make 10 meals a day not for yourself and everyone eating different shit on top of daily stress and cleaning... lol whole shit is wild...

[ynwa4eva]

I LOVE YOUUUU i'm SO glad i have your stamp of approval,,, considering i claimed him before he was even at bayern this just. makes sense. <33 🫢 BUUT enough abt me how are you!!!!!!!!! how's school treating u (touchy subject perhaps? i apologize in advance if it is) are you getting enough sleep drinking enough water staying creative do u have a replacement for your apple pen ....

I approve of it so hard... Like hes literally yours... Its makes so much sense!!

No please i love complaining so so much... Ive been boring every person with my school problems, even my poor piano teacher 😭

Right was shit at my art exam but do not care because all i have left for the semester is my math exam this thursday, english exam on monday and term paper presentation, some stupid portfolio due tuesday (10 pages of reflection on a project ugh) and then like one more presentation on fundamentalism on the 16.01 and im done :) and then it starts again!!! Help

And im suffering in math because i hate it obvi also i noticed that even if i get 0 points i should be fine..... I think... Scared theres some dumb rule that literally causes me to fail the year 😭 but im trying my best!

Getting way too little sleep lara i just want to go to bed but im almost done i want to hibernate like a bear :( am drinking enough.....uhm im in another artblock, probably because im so burnt out and stressed because of school.... Went on a wonderful walk on sunday though wait

Truly gorg... I have gotten muscle aches because i strained my legs trying not to slip on the ice 😭😭😭😭😭 (I DIDNT GET ON THE LAKE OBVI I MEAN ON THE STREETS.... I will never understand why they put salt on there like it melts. And then it freezes again AND ITS SLIPPERY.)

Got my pen! Like a week ago... Im so happy.... Wish i could DRAW with it... But my heads empty.... All ive been doing for the past year is redrawing but now i cant do that anymore..... I feel kinda shitty i just wish i had that trait of being inspired and creative in general

Hope youre well <333 xoxoxo

[enchantedpendant]

things that have happened during the course of the 1 year-ish time i took off this site

1. my mental health reached the worst point it has ever been in my entire life

2. quickly and secretly took myself to a psychiatrist (props to myself ngl but also a huge thank you to a close friend of mine who recommended this particular doctor) and wow im so blessed to have her as my first ever encounter with a psychiatrist or even any kind of mental health professional… it may not be too much of a stretch to say that i owe her my life

3. during the critical time of just beginning to recover… caught some romantic feelings for one of my closest friend since high school (been friends since 2014) and got into a situationship which lasted barely a month… i managed to realize that the way things were going were NOT helping my mental health recovery and i told him that we should just be friends. no shade towards him tbh, he’s nothing but stellar as a friend and ngl he may have significantly helped me find the will to live again… but it really just wasnt working out well romantically with all the circumstances surrounding it. my brain being in the right place didnt necessarily mean my heart is tho lol it took several months for me to just… stop thinking about him and “oh how things couldve gone differently if only this and if only that” every now and then im fond of him, still am, and would probably always be

4. got off sertraline… and not quite bcs my doctor had advised me to but because i had just started to skip enough doses for my body to get used to being without it and start feeling the side effects whenever i try taking them again and i’d rather not😂 i’d like to fully put the blame on night shifts and school and all that but really some of it is just… my bad lol but anyways shoutout to sertraline for saving my life when i needed it!

5. juggled my mental health recovery with about 2 months of studying nearly 24 hours a day 7 days a week (i mean, as much studying as i could get done lol ive never been the studious type) in preparation for my exit exam… shoutout to the ten people in my study group for tolerating me through it all

6. passing my exit exam!! and graduating med school!!! finally being an MD which still feels unreal. anyways it is SO nice to finally close this chapter and go on to the next (also my skin started clearing up real quick after the exam results came out and knowing that i passed lol its almost like the cause of my skin problems was just med school all along😭)