#i mean I've felt forgettable my whole life but it's been especially prevalent recently
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Hard to remember I exist sometimes and it feels like a lot of other people forget too and I don't really know how to feel about that right now
#just thinking about how like. a little bit ago i joined some friends for a tv show watching get-together#and like. 3 separate times somebody said something along the lines of 'oh you're here still?' or 'i forgot you were here'#i wasn't even being like overly quiet or overly loud or anything. i thought i was talking just about the same amount as everyone else#and i do trust my friends and know this part's probably in my head but after the second and third time it kinda felt like#- they were disappointed i WAS there.#and even my family and stuff forgets I'm here sometimes. especially now that I'm housebound and can't see them as easily#i mean I've felt forgettable my whole life but it's been especially prevalent recently#makes me wonder how long it would take people to notice I'm gone if i did disappear#i mean I'm not like. planning on disappearing or anything but I've been thinking about it a lot the last few days#vent#/no one here#<- just clarifying the story about my friends isn't like anyone specifically here or anything#i still trust them as my friends and I'm very aware the more negative tone was probably in my head I'm just feeling very bad right now#delete later
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