#i may or may not have hyperfixated on this for 10 hours today and forgot to take care of my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

erinelliotc · 11 months ago

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Your history with Ed, Edd and Eddy

Hello! I'm so glad to receive my first message! I'll start apologizing in advance for my English grammatical mistakes since English isn't my first language, but I'll try my best :)

Well, Ed, Edd n Eddy is my favorite childhood cartoon! And I'm 100% sure it's my biggest special interest. It's been part of my life since an early age. It's hard to say precisely how old I started watching it because I don't know when I started picking out the channels I watched as a kid, but I think I started watching Cartoon Network somewhere between 2005-2007, when I was 5-7 years old (I'm a 2000s kid!). I've watched a lot of cartoons, but none of them give me that feeling of warmth and comfort Ed, Edd n Eddy does. It's hard to explain but I just love this show with all my heart and soul, it makes me so happy and excited. It's so silly, random and funny, it's everything my autistic little brain wanted and needed. Double D has always been my favorite Ed and today I can affirm without a shadow of a doubt that he's my favorite character of all time and probably the one I identify with the most. I wouldn't be surprised if I turned out to be the way I am today because of his influence.

[EDIT] I'm editing this to add something very important! I forgot to mention that I played "To The Eds-Treme" a lot when I was a kid!

If you don't know, it was a skateboarding game where you play as Ed, Edd and Eddy to impress Nazz. I was definitely at least 7 or younger when I played this.

It's so funny that when I found this game again, I thought "Wow, it was so difficult. I'll try to play it again". So I played and... won quickly, then I realized that it wasn't difficult, I actually just didn't know how to play because I was just a stupid kid xD

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I probably gradually stopped watching EEnE when I was around 10 or 11 (2010/2011) due to a combo of factors:

The show ended, new cartoons began to be released and Cartoon Network's schedule changed. So the time EEnE was on (probably in the early hours of the morning) stopped corresponding to the time I used to watch TV

Like I said, I used to watch a lot of different shows. I started hyperfixating on Adventure Time when I was 12 (2012) and this lasted until 2013. I tend to have lots of hyperfixations and to hyperfixate on one thing at a time, so the hyperfixation of the moment temporarily pushes the other ones away until another one arrives to take its place. After hyperfixating on Adventure Time I started hyperfixating on something else, then on another, and another... Until I get to where I am today xD

I was gradually starting to use the computer more and the TV less because I'm a very digital person. My interest in the internet became greater and greater and I was stopping to watch TV shows in general

To the people who have been close to me and/or followed me on social media for a long time, it may seem like my hyperfixation on Ed, Edd n Eddy is something recent, but I've loved Ed, Edd n Eddy for as long as I can remember. The thing is, it took me a long time to finally understand that Ed, Edd n Eddy was and is in fact my favorite show of all time and not just my favorite childhood show, and that it's also my greatest special interest/hyperfixation. So 2023 was just the year I finally realized and accepted this, and when this hyperfixation took full control and I fully embraced it as an inherent part of my personality that always makes me happy and brings me comfort. I often reminisced about Ed, Edd n Eddy and obsessed over it at least once a year, but it took me a long time to finally watch it for the first time from the beginning after growing up because I was convinced that all my love for this show was just out of nostalgia and I had this thought in my mind: "I only liked it because I was a kid and I wouldn't like it as much if I watched it now as an adult". I guess part of me was afraid of ruining all these magical happy feelings I had from my childhood memories of this show by facing the supposed reality that it wasn't as amazing as it was in my kid's eyes, so it took me a long time to understand that it is actually my favorite show of all time just as I always felt, and that it did make sense that I'd still love it so much and remember it fondly and obsess over it every single time, because I really do love it and think it's an amazing show even as an adult.

You know when something is so much a part of your life that you don't realize how much it means to you? Because you're already used to it, it's part of your everyday life, so you just don't think about it much. And when you're a kid you're even more oblivious and clueless about things in general. Kids are simple. We don't overanalyze and reflect about things when we're kids, we just live and enjoy our simple childish lives. So when I was a kid, I didn't realize how much I love this show and I didn't even have any idea about rating things as favorites and stuff, I didn't think about it, so I didn't have that percpetion of "Ed, Edd n Eddy is my favorite TV show", even though I watched it a lot. I was just a little kid watching my TV shows and living my life, that's all. I only started to understand the enormous importance that this show has for me when I started to grow up and began to miss it intensely when I saw things about it or when I suddenly remembered its existence. Plus, you can only feel nostalgic when you grow up, and feeling nostalgic is a big factor in me becoming obsessed with things.

After I stopped watching it, my first contact with EEnE was probably when I was 12 and I saw and shared a post about it on Facebook in February 27th, 2013 (yes, coincidentally on Danny Antonucci's birthday!), and it brought me so many lost and happy memories, and the first part of my nostalgia! I was so happy to suddenly remember the existence of the show and unearth a series of positive feelings that I didn't even know were here.

Translation of what I wrote: "DORKS! (laugh) I REMEMBER *-* ED, EDD N EDDY"

And I watched EEnE for the first time again when I was 13 (July 2013) because I was on a plane trip with TVs in the seats. I turned on the TV to Cartoon Network, and coincidentally, Ed, Edd n Eddy was showing. Then nostalgia hit me even harder. However, this was just the "beginning" (the real beginning was in childhood since it has always been my favorite cartoon and the one I loved most and I was definitely obsessed with it as a kid, but anyways, it was the trigger to make me regain that lost childhood love), the hyperfixation hasn't really started here yet (at least not that I can remember).

I also saw and shared a post about EEnE on Facebook again in October 8th, 2014. Once again, a lot of positive feelings emerged.

Translation of what I wrote: "forever the most memorable cartoon of my childhood ❤️"

After that, I remembered the show from time to time (suddenly or by some trigger), especially when the subject of old cartoons or favorite cartoons came up by chance in conversations with my friends and EEnE always came to my mind automatically when talking about it even though I haven't watched it in years and it wasn't something active in my daily life at that age. It was only natural for me to answer to my friends in these conversations that Ed, Edd n Eddy was my favorite childhood cartoon (and especially that Double D was my first crush and favorite character), as if deep down I knew how much it meant to me and that it was in fact the cartoon that had the greatest impact on my childhood and even on who I am today. I didn't remember almost anything, but somewhere in my unconscious were the reasons that made me love this cartoon so much, and my only reason for not saying with certainty that this was my favorite cartoon of all time was that I thought that I only thought that because I loved it as a kid and I thought that if I were to watch it now when I'm older it certainly wouldn't be the same thing, so I just said it was my favorite childhood cartoon. So at that time (from 2014 to 2017), I used to look a little about it on the internet every now and then, but still not obsessively (but the show interested me in a very curious way). I just looked and saved some pics, memes, fanarts, tried to look for some episodes...

In January 2018, I was traveling and came across this t-shirt in a store (Riachuelo) at the mall. You have no idea how inexplicably happy I was, as if I were face to face with an old dear friend. That t-shirt just needed to be mine. When I started to remember it, nostalgia hitted me so hard and that's when the hyperfixation got really serious (this 2018 hyperfixation lasted about 5 months). Then I started to really hyperfixate at least since 2018, at least once a year.

Some pics with my t-shirt from February 24th, 2018:

In case you don't know, here in Brazil "Ed, Edd n Eddy" was translated to "Du, Dudu e Edu" because the Portuguese version of Edward is Eduardo, and the common nicknames are Dudu and Edu, so they just had to create the nickname "Du" (at least I've never seen someone called Eduardo being called Du) and there you go, we have the perfect adaptation! But we also lost the "Double D" nickname as we didn't have the issue of "Ed" and "Edd" sounding the same, so they just didn't see the need to keep it. So every time he's called "Double D" they just dub him as "Dudu" too.

Returning to the main topic: Hyperfixating made me find out about EddEddy and KevEdd ships, and honestly at that time I was kinda 🤨 because, besides never having thought about the possibility of them having anything other than friendship, I was raised in a conservative family and I reproduced their very homophobic thoughts more or less until I was 18, so I saw some fanarts and thought things like "Oh why would people do that!? Gross!". But still, for some reason I couldn't help but get a little too obsessed with EddEddy, and even a little with KevEdd, and save fanarts of them… little did I know. Today EddEddy is my biggest OTP and I don't like KevEdd.

Each time I hyperfixated on EEnE it was more intense than the previous time, until it completely took hold and became an active and fixed part of my life. From 2019 to 2022 it was getting veeery intense. Sometimes the trigger was me sleeping, dreaming about EEnE, and because of the dream I remembered it and started hyperfixating. I finally had the idea to start looking for EEnE on TikTok (2022) and I discovered some really cool videos and profiles. Now, the last time I hyperfixated (September 25th, 2023) has been the strongest ever. I've finally reached the highest level of hyperfixation that makes me feel this is the most important thing in my life and I'm thinking and doing things about it 24/7.

So now I feel a great need to produce and absorb as much EEnE content as possible, which made me feel the need to finally join and interact with the fandom, which also led me to start using Tumblr for real and discovering that the format of this social media is PERFECT for me, as it is very organized, there are many ways to format text and insert media, media remain in excellent quality, the character limit is huge (great for me as I love writing), and I can edit the posts (great for my perfectionist side). This hyperfixation allowed me to step out of my comfort zone to explore a social media that fits perfectly with me, as before this I was a recurring Twitter user and faced a lot of annoying problems because of the limitations of this social media. It's even helping and encouraging me to finally practice my English and drawing, which are things I've wanted to do for a long time but didn't have enough energy to do or something important enough to encourage and stimulate me to do it, or didn't know how/where to start.

So I watched the entire show with Brazilian dubbing (since that was how I watched it when I was a kid and I wanted to feel the nostalgia more strongly), then I started subtitling the original episodes to watch them with the original voices and with my own way of subtitle since I'm a bit obsessive and perfectionist and I want to translate in the way I consider most accurate as possible. And boy, I love the Brazilian dubbing, I think they did a really good job and there are even some scenes that I find funnier in this dub BUT Eddy's original voice is simply a work of art. Tony Sampson was impeccable and did the most iconic and unique voice of all time. There are some scenes that I find hilarious just because it's Eddy talking, even the normal scenes that weren't intended to be funny or at least as funny as I find them. Also, I tend to prefer watching things in the original track because I like knowing exactly how things were said, and also to practice my English.

I also started writing about the show, the characters and their development throughout the seasons, writing fanfics, drawing the characters, writing some ideas for comics, making edits, and I'm practicing my English because I'm writing everything in English since the fandom is mostly English speakers and there are not many Brazilian fans. I plan to make videos compiling my favorite scenes, compiling EddEddy scenes and explaining how this ship makes sense, talking about Eddy being gay, talking about Double D and why I identify with him so much, talking about my autistic Double D headcanon, make Telegram sticker packs for each season, customize some t-shirts with the characters (mainly with Double D) and some scenes, buy clothes for my Double D cosplay (I already bought the hat and the t-shirt) which I intend to wear in my everyday life as casual clothes (basically I want to live my life as Double D from now on, which is not hard since we're basically the same person xD I'm just going to start dressing more like him to become even more like him) and even make other Double D clothes that I can't find for sale (I want to graduate in a suit exactly like the one he wears in season 5, and I also want the same cardigan and tie. And I was going to buy pajamas conveniently similar to his anyway, but duck pajamas, which also makes sense and isn't out of character at all, as we also see him wearing some duck-printed clothes).

But what makes me so sure that EEnE is my strongest and most important special interest of all, besides I've never done so many things like this for the same hyperfixation and have never written so many fanfics and made so many edits and dedicated so much time of my life and my days to the point that I'm ruining my sleep routine like I've never done before, which makes me confirm that this is my greatest special interest is the fact that for the first time in my life I decided to get a tattoo, for real! I used to have hypothetical tattoo ideas but not with the intention of actually getting them because I hate/hated the idea of permanently marking my body. I always said I would get a tattoo if tattoos worked like clothes (i.e., being removable and giving me the option to decide which one I want to wear on the day). But with EEnE that thought instantly disappeared completely, I was just like "I'll get it tattooed", without hesitation, it just felt right. I immediately lost my fear of marking my body as if it never existed because I consider EEnE so important and meaningful to me, so part of my own identity, that it just seems like the right thing to do. My initial idea was to tattoo Double D, but then I realized that actually all of them are very important to me even though Double D is my favorite, so I'm going to tattoo the trio, but probably doing something to highlight Double D (I'm still deciding what the tattoo will be like).

And you know what else? Rewatching Ed, Edd n Eddy now is even reminding me of lot of things that are blowing my mind (a silly example here). There are scenes from the show that I didn't even remember were from there, I just knew I had seen them somewhere. It feels like EEnE is so internalized in me that I don't even know which memories and parts of me come from the show, it's just all mixed up there and they are now part of my "system". I didn't even remember that I used to watch it with my dad and I only (re)discovered it when I watched a specific scene that I also didn't remember that was from EEnE, because I remember that I used to reproduce/imitate that scene with my dad because we found it funny. It's so strange to not be aware about these memories because they're so deep and buried in my subconscious. It's like I'm rediscovering myself and what shaped me and led me to where I am today, and rediscovering how important this show is to me and how much it influenced me.

Anyways, you asked for my history with Ed, Edd n Eddy, so here's my TED talk! All from the beginning and without an ending because all factors point to the obvious fact that this show will never leave my life. Not only did this never happened, but it became more and more part of my life over time, as well as having deeply rooted itself in me as a kid, so it has already become an inherent part of who I am, making it impossible to separate myself from the show. I just don't exist without Ed, Edd n Eddy.

Some current pics of me, now 23, wearing my favorite t-shirt :)

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