#i loveeee this we're back on the self-confidence train

[chaerybae]

I BET ON ME ✨✨

[fr-wiwiw]

Continuation- idk why Tumblr keeps giving me error when I post this answer

10. Has a piece of drawing ever “haunted” you? Has your own drawing haunted you? What does that mean to you? Boy do have several... Let me show you 1 of them

This one basically portrays my love for How to Train Your Dragon and skies. I've always love sky watching when I can. I enjoy seeing the far distance and the fluffs of the cloud. I can see the clouds moving from here to there when the wind picks up. The vast blue or orange pinkish or dark greyish blue when night comes. I love, loveeee skies. This one is me studying color from a post I saw in Artstation. I love the color scheme the artist use for their piece and I saw this shape of cloud from Pinterest by a japanese artist I think or a fanartist where a school girl walks to the end of the open street with railings on the edge and it leads to this big white cool colored cloud and neon warm blue sky behind it. I don't remember their respective usernames, but I try to study the shape and textures, add a lot of my own tastes while experimenting with certain brushes I never used while incorporating the warm colors instead of cool tones. The yellow grass field, birds, Toothless and his Lightfury all are something I put there to give some size difference and perspective. All in all, this study is an inspirational piece that came from 2 different types of artstyle and I marry them in my head and make a baby out of it. Come to think of it, perhaps the yellow grass field is me influenced by RDR2 where I make character gallops her horse in Great Plains near Blackwater. Man I miss playing that game. But yeah, it haunts me because I want to draw skies again. Just.. enjoy environment drawing again but ever since I'm too bored and sick of drawing creatures, landscapes and all. I change my course to character and human drawing. Because I didn't know what to make out of my previous drawings. I didn't understand how to gain commission from that, idk how to get audience that are willing to pay me for what I do ( I still don't, still learning now). And back then I was just desperate for something. It pains me to do that bcs I love it, but I know I had to do something to make money. I wonder if I'll ever go back to paint all these again and let my self just... be.. without worrying about income. I know I will. It'll take time, but I definitely will come back to this because I like concept arts, mainly I do character concept design, so.. there's that. It definitely will keep haunting me along with several other that makes me think, can I draw this again? how tf did i draw this? will I be able to create something like this or much better? Will I get that much likes again on social media? I'm always stressed by my own thoughts so the pressure is wooweee hahah I know a lot of artists or writers can relate with this inner turmoil.

12. If a genie offered you three drawing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules Love the question and the quirky-ness lol

1 is that wish is to have the audiences I want and need to prolong my life. I apologize it's not something poetic or grandeur but this one is reality. wish my clients are blessed with fortunes so they can keep commission me :3

2 is confidence and the ability to just do and do, starting from now. These 2 are something related to our inner self. I know I will get there, it'll take time and effort to do it. But I want it instantly right now and it stays in me until I breathe my last breath. How many of us are trapped in our mind and "laziness" and fear? I said laziness bcs I, for one, know that yes I'm lazy but I can overcome this, so why is it so hard for me to just do? It's my perfectionism, self-critiques, fear and my mental traumas that hinders it. All of these are born from external. Perhaps we're shaped like this by our family, parents, siblings. Perhaps the environment we grow up didn't necessarily supports the well being of our mental health, bullied or gaslighted accidentally or intentionally, neglected or just perhaps people love us but they don't know how to really treat us? Or we don't know yet what we need and who we want to be treated- I can go on and on. Some can be our faults, some might be accidents, no one is to blame. But it hurts and affects us all the same.

3 is get opportunities free in-depth tutorials by artists I look up to, timeless tutorials, not racing with time (slow the time!) so I can take all the time I need OR get recognized, get connections that will help me be recognized by my skills. I did think to get instant max level skills in art and other things in creative world I want to explore and not afraid of my age and this.. rushing hours of the world. It keeps changing rapidly ever since technology (I still enjoy this tbh, it's just a fact that the world is changing fast) and AI. Man... I'm devastated that most people who creates and use AI utilize it to cheat their way in life, where it's supposed to help us live our lives. I honestly enjoy the process of growth, despite how fucking hurtful it can be. But that's the joy of the process. Whereas this certain technology makes you want everything instant, it's like you're digging your grave fast while wanting to enjoy everything at such a rapid pace while you're at it. Perhaps some people do enjoy that. Watching videos at 2x speed and said yea that's great and move on. ??? Where's the basking in the feelings and experience? I don't understand but I can't really blame them if they're racing against time to enjoy something. I just can't wrap my head around it yet. Anyway, I'm not gonna ramble too much on this one to save you the pain.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends? - I will assume writing in the margins is like make some random / related doodle to the subject I'm drawing in the bigger picture. Yes I do! Sometimes it gets foggy in my mind and it makes me unable to visualize something (example: a 3D turn of a leg with armor).

I will sketch it out wherever near the subject, map it out first until I make something that looks makes sense and copy paste it or redraw it on the bigger main subject. It's usually messier than the one I post up there, I always delete it immediately when I feel like I've nailed down what I want to do as to not distract me. So I rarely have the doodles existing there ^^" I should tho, that would be a lovely thing in record actually to keep myself reminded of the process how I do that subject lol. - Dog-eared pages.. hmm. I do dog-eared some page in my sketchbook if I like them or if I want to come back and read some notes of ideas or some studies I put in it. I actually slap some post-it too there - Draw in bath. Oh I wish I'm able to do this lmao but I will be dreading my bath time at some point if I don't separate my drawing time with my break and pampering time. But I do imagine things in my head. My brainrot otps (Gahan mainly now) or some games I just played with randoms or friends, some ideas that pops in my head outta nowhere (y'know, that bathroom inspiration) - I don't judge ppl who do this bcs it's just so damn hard to turn off your brain and just be blank in your head. I will probably judge you at some point if you bring your laptop or ipad into your bath, or traditional sketchbooks and paint as you bath bcs... honey, the water's gonna ruin the paper. I know watercolor paper can withstand water but sinking it more than minutes and hours?? I'm not sure, what're you doing huh?? But I do wanna know other people's version of this! If they do bring their stuff to draw to baths, I will be flabbergasted but entertained at the same time cs, tell me! story time! - Of course we can still be friends if that's what you do. I will nag and laugh but I will appreciate your existence anyway and that will probably be in my memory about you forever xD There's a reason why we're friends and your quirkiness are tolerable. We artists and writers and what not are.....unusual creatures anyway.

I will continue on next answer post, Idk why Tumblr is not working for me today :(

hiii, do you want to do an artist's version of this fun writer's asks game? i'm so curious about what you think of 5, 10, 12, 15, 19, 23

hi there! thanks for this fun game! lemme copy the question to change some of the words and answer them right away xD I will put aside my experience as writer and reader too bcs this is artist version so the answers will be strictly from my experience as an illustrator!

5. Do you have any drawing/painting superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true? Oh gosh, good question- I'm guessing this is some kind like ritual or routine I do before I start scribbling in my sketchbook or digital canvas. I think I kinda do and don't. Since this new year, I started to intentionally journal my thoughts out when I woke up. This is recommended from the book that's called The Artist's Way, some kind like spiritual guide for artists. I've only read up until the page where the author said to take your inner child out to date- creative dates. Anyway, basically the journaling I do religiously now has to be 3 pages and pour any thoughts that came onto my mind. Taking out trash from our mind daily instead letting it piling for months waiting to be taken out. I only do 2.5, my right arm and shoulder always aching since few years ago. But so far, it does helps me a bit with my overthinking and be discipline about my healthy habits. I'm not the best at discipline so I'm proud I'm able to keep this going for almost 3 months now. The other thing, which I'm not sure is something superstitions, is to look up drawings by other artists or watch movies, see fanarts, read fanfics, or just be in my mind, to get inspired and start drawing. I'm mostly brain rot driven or if I'm seeing something very often, I will draw it. I'm trying not to count on my brain rot energy too often bcs I want to be able to draw with and without the brain rot. It's still fluctuates but I'm better than I was years ago. I'm happy with the progress! I will continue on next answer post, Idk why Tumblr is not working for me today :( so this will be 6 answer post, I'm so sorry