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italic-doing-random-shit · 9 months ago

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Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf

Good

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf

Sept, huit, neuf (sept, huit, neuf)

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine

My dearest, Angelica

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

I trust you'll understand the reference to another Scottish tragedy

Without my having to name the play

They think me Macbeth, ambition is my folly

I'm a polymath, a pain in the ass, a massive pain

Madison is Banquo

Jefferson's Macduff

And Birnam Wood is Congress on its way to Dunsinane

And there you are an ocean away

Do you have to live an ocean away?

Thoughts of you subside

Then I get another letter

And I cannot put the notion away

Take a break

I am on my way

There's a little surprise before supper and it cannot wait

I'll be there in just a minute, save my plate

Alexander

Okay, okay

Your son is nine years old today

He has something he'd like to say

He's been practicing all day

Philip, take it away

Daddy, daddy, look

My name is Philip

I am a poet

I wrote this poem just to show it

And I just turned nine

You can write rhymes but you can't write mine

What!

I practice French and play piano with my mother

Uh-huh

I have a sister but I want a little brother

Okay

My daddy's trying to start America's bank

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!

Bravo!

Take a break

Hey, our kid is pretty great

Run away with us for the summer

Let's go upstate

Eliza, I've got so much on my plate

We can all go stay with my father

There's a lake I know

I know

In a nearby park

I'd love to go

You and I can go when the night gets dark

I will try to get away

My dearest Alexander, you must get through to Jefferson

Sit down with him and compromise

Don't stop 'til you agree

Your favourite older sister Angelica reminds you

There's someone in your corner all the way across the sea

In a letter I received from you two weeks ago

I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase

It changed the meaning, did you intend this?

One stroke and you've consumed my waking days

It says

"My dearest, Angelica"

With a comma after dearest

You've written

"My dearest, Angelica"

Anyway, all this to say

I'm coming home this summer

At my sister's invitation

I'll be there with your family if you make your way upstate

I know you're very busy, I know your work's important

But I'm crossing the ocean and I just can't wait

You won't be an ocean away

You'll only be a moment away

Alexander come downstairs, Angelica's arriving today

Angelica!

Eliza!

The Schuyler sisters

Alexander!

It's good to see your face

Angelica, tell this man, John Adams spends the summer with his family

Angelica, tell my wife, John Adams doesn't have a real job anyway

You're not joining us? Wait-

I'm afraid I cannot join you upstate

Alexander, I came all this way

She came all this way

All this way

Take a break

You know I have to get my plan through Congress

Run away with us for the summer

Let's go upstate

I'll lose my job if we don't get this plan through Congress

We'll all go stay with our father

There's a lake I know

I know I'll miss your face

In a nearby park

Screw your courage to the sticking place

You and I can go

Eliza's right

Take a break

Take a break and get away

Run away with us for the summer

Let's go upstate

Where we can stay

We can all go stay with our father

If you take your time, you will make your mark

Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now

Close your eyes and dream

We can go

When the night gets dark

Take a break

I have to get my plan through Congress

I can't stop 'til I get this plan through Congress

Here ya go

THERES NOTHING LIKE SUMMER IN THE CITY-

#asks #found !!#Hamilton

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jittyjames · 2 years ago

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K ANOTHER QUESTION

what is something that you imagine happening in any scene that you did not write in. like, during the encounters between alex and eliza in these latest chapters, i’ve been imagining that little toddler philip just being really restless and thinking he did something to upset alexander or smtn.

so yeah, are there any details not written in that you imagine happening?

*OKAY SO SPOILERS FOR MEANS TO GO ON IF YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP*

oh absolutely. little pip is an absolute wreck and he doesn't understand why. it has the same energy as sitting at your closed door and hearing your parents argue over something you can't comprehend. and where alexander is so closed off he can only assume it was something he did. pip is a really really sad boy and will unfortunately probably have trauma of his own from all of this. like in the scene after the reynolds pamphlet is released and alexander is having his breakdown, i wanted to make sure that i made it clear that philip was watching and he was more observant than alexander wants or expects him to be. just the thought of little philip standing on a staircase and clutching his stuffed toy tightly to himself while he just watches his father fall apart makes me SO-

also obviously i don't write much of angelica BUT it is her house after all so she hears and sees stuff, too. like her heart breaks for eliza and alexander so much. she tries not to pay attention because she doesn't want to eavesdrop, but she can't help it sometimes. like i imagine her just folding laundry or something and pausing when she hears eliza pleading with him to just look at her and just speak to her. then she has to go about her day as if nothing even happened.

OK SO ON A LIGHTER NOTE it's the most unserious thing ever but i love imagining philip church absolutely not giving a SHIT about anything. like it's literally an inside joke for me to me. like uncle alexander is having a mental breakdown on the parlor floor?? cool, but mOM WHERE THE FUCK AND MY FUCKING NUGGIES. like he's the type of child that would kick people in the shins and run away cackling. he is a menacing child and i love him, but i can't actually write him in the fic like that bc that would totally take away from the actual story. but just know there is indeed a menace child running around the church estate. honestly, if you were to release him on king george the third, the problem would be HANDLED. every family needs an absolutely psycho little cousin/nephew. thems the rules EDIT: OMG FOR PPL ON TIKTOK HE GIVES TOPHER VIBES LMAO

also the philips are absolute besties but they absolutely are polar opposites. like these two are as close as the schuyler sisters

the family and living dynamics are something i haven't delved into yet, but the hamiltons aren't the only family living there. angelica and philip church definitely have reactions to all of this. (and peggy. sometimes. she is living her best life too most of the time. she didn't get to live long in the musical or irl but she is galavanting happily around New York. for now.)

#hamilton fanfiction #'the means to go on' asks

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binch-i-might-be · 2 years ago

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intermission. I'm having so many thoughts but not in the mind to articulate them

edit: it is no longer intermission. in fact I am back at the hotel room sprawled over the bed and kicking my legs in the air like a little girl. but I refuse to start this list over!

first of all, german really isn't the language for the musical, but they absolutely did the best they could with what they had

with that out of the way, let's get into my scattered stream of consciousness!

the lams is blatant and almost ridiculous. the guy playing Laurens only auditioned for the role so he could make it as gay as possible and I am CERTAIN of that. the homosexual gazing in the first song...... the fucking WAY the other guys and Laurens were whispering to each other when Hamilton first started going off and then Laurens stumbled over as if he was working up the nerve to ask him out. THEY KEEP GRABBING EACH OTHER'S NAPES??? IT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO KISS DURING MY SHOT. HELLO

when Washington first showed up on stage I immediately went "YES DADDY" and I am not sorry!

speaking of Washington tho, he doesn't quite have the presence for me at some points. he's not as intense or consistent as Chris Jackson, but Hamilton and him are so very cute so I'll take it!

Hamilton is. SO endearing. I love him so much oh my god he's such a sweet boy he deserves the world. the actor is playing him so much younger than lmm did. he's so GENUINE. with lmm there was always this underlying weariness, he was weathered and snippy and waging a constant battle, but this one??? baby boy. such a little guy. absolute sweetheart

at the end of Aaron Burr, Sir instead of "who's that kid, what's he gonna do" they say. "what's the little one doing". can you hear me weeping

a lot of the jokes are lost or just don't hit. sad!

in helpless not only did Washington fix Hamilton's cravat,,,,, Hamilton showed him his ring all excited and then Washington PATTED HIS ELBOW as he was walking away. I'll never emotionally recover from this

also Laurens hands him the ring. they did make homosexual eye contact then. #lgbtq

when Hamilton asks for Eliza's hand, her father doesn't say "be true", he says "na gut". which is basically like saying "k". sir 😭

one thing that annoyed me a bit was that they used a lot of the formal "you". let them use the casual "you". come on :(

AT ONE POINT KING GEORGE LITERALLY SAID "LOVE WINS". GAY RIGHTS

every time Washington would have said "young man" he says "my son" instead. 5 dead 21 injured

instead of "at the right hand of the father" Burr says "in the lap of the father" and I?????

In Guns And Ships when Hamilton is leaving to rejoin the army he kisses Eliza and then :( he kisses her belly :( just kill me on the spot

oh at the end of Meet Me Inside when Hamilton screams in Washington's face he immediately ducks his head and WHIMPERS? he sounds like he's about to cry!!!! baby boy :(

Hamilton and Laurens are constantly roughhousing. constantly in each other's faces. it is very lgbt

this fucking shredded me. they changed mom/daddy/pa/pops whatever to the german Mama and Papa. not only does Jefferson say "quick, run to Papa" to Hamilton instead of "daddy's calling", this ALSO means that Philip burst into his father's office yelling "Papa if you'd HEARD the shit he said about you". you don't know real pain until you watch Philip die and hear that boy go "Mama". eternal suffering

Burr was good. I liked him! (yes that's all I have to say about him lmao)

my favourite performer was either Eliza or Angelica. they blew it out of the water

I am saddened to report that making out on stage occurred yet again! the people losing their shit over lmm maybe kissing with tongue during Say No To This would have died. I saw. tongues. I SAW them

some songs really do not work in german. the Schuyler Sisters is usually a favourite of mine but oh man does it sound rough. I didn't really understand the lyrics in Helpless but I still liked it because it's Helpless. some translation choices were wild and it took me out of it for a moment! BUT I'm very pleased to say that one line in Alexander Hamilton I was annoyed about, which was "and I simply shot him" instead of "I'm the damn fool that shot him" was changed to "I was his friend and I shot him". better!

"I'm not throwing away my shot" became "I only have one shot" and honestly I can't say I'm too mad about it at this point

"rise up" became "frei sein" ("to be free") which was a bit. ngl. cringe at times haha

Dear Theodosia hit me straight in the nutsack. I was borderline weeping over it. both Hamilton and Burr were so good in that, the text was very well translated, and oh boy does it hit different to hear that in my mother tongue. shit girls my issues came THROUGH on that one

Satisfied might have been my favourite translation out of the whole musical. god was that good. it had slightly different vibes from the original, but that made it so interesting. the imagery used was impeccable, Angelica's actress was AMAZING, and it's just. jesus fuck I'm probably coming back to that later on. genuinely that version made me tear up it was so good

honestly I would say the performers carried the whole thing. they made it work!

that's all for now folks! rest assured, I'll let y'all know if I think of anything else, but yeah! initial impressions and all that :)

#lots of thoughts lots of feelings lots of opinions #i'm glad i saw it in london first but i'm also very glad i saw this one #hamilton #hamilton hamburg #damn i'm beat

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tolkien-feels · 3 years ago

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HELLO I WOULD LIKE YOUR AMARIE AND ELENWE THOUGHTS :D i am always feelin starved for amarie content (understandably, given how little she appears in canon) and i love reading people's thoughts on non-noldor bc there's much less canon info abt them!

This got a little long so I'm putting it under a cut

These are very much headcanons because as I'm sure you know, we know what? 4 facts about them, combined? Half of which are just who they were in love with? Thoroughly unhelpful, thanks Professor!

Since we have so little, I can actually walk you through my reasoning for coming up with the personalities I headcanon for them.

The meaning of Elenwe's name is pretty generic - Star-person. The -we suffix is usually but not always masculine, and I don't want to put too much stock on that... except that I have to cling to whatever clues I have, and Elenwe is one of the very few women who we know left Aman - so I'm extrapolating to say that like Nerwen, Elenwe received her name because she has unusual strength of body and/or will (which is sexist af but I'm following canon patterns here.) Given what a baddass her daughter is, I would not be surprised. And what if Idril's rescue in the Helcaraxe was not just Turgon's doing, but also brave and headstrong Elenwe forcing Turgon to save their daughter first and then come back for her? I can definitely see that.

The meaning of Amarie is possibly "Most good" and that checks out - she was not permitted to leave Aman? Really? It's literally a rebellion! She could easily have rebelled against this lack of permission as well! If anything, it might've helped persuade her Valinor is a prison! So this gives me the vibe that Amarie is A Good Girl™️ - perhaps one of the Vanyar who loves nothing more than to learn song and poetry to delight Manwe and his court. Perhaps like Nerdanel might have helped Feanor with his crafts in their youth - it was her father who was Aule's student, not Feanor's - Amarie taught Finrod a thing or two about Songs of Power, or they at least bonded over a shared love.

One possibility I like to toy with is that Turgon, Finrod, Elenwe and Amarie were a friend group. In my headcanons, Turgon and Finrod were childhood friends, as were Elenwe and Amarie, so when Turgon and Elenwe began to fall in love, what could be more natural than for the four of them to spend time together? In my mind, Turgon and Elenwe are older, bolder and have known each other for longer, so by the time they get married, Finrod and Amarie are still just making eyes at each other.

Though I think Elenwe and Amarie should be close in age, like I said, Elenwe might be slightly older, and she's definitely bolder, so she's almost a big sister figure? I can easily picture her teasing Amarie for her slooooow courtship of Finrod, or offering to fight the decision to make Amarie stay behind. Conversely, Amarie is probably Elenwe's confidante and supporter, the Jane Bennet to Elenwe's Elizabeth, or the Beth March to her Jo, or the Eliza Schuyler to her Angelica. You get the idea.

When the Darkening happens, I really like the idea of Elenwe and Amarie discussing things and parting on good terms - a rare thing in the families and friendships torn apart by the Flight of the Noldor. Amarie saying that no, Elenwe doesn't need to fight for her, she's made her decision and she's siding with the Valar. Elenwe offering to stay with Amarie as Anaire will stay with Earwen, and Amarie declining. I most definitely think Amarie promises to be like a daughter to Elenwe's grieving parents (you think Vanyar parents are happy about their daughter rebelling against Manwe's authority? I doubt that), and Elenwe in turn promises to look after Finrod in any way she's able. (Which. Um. Well, she does that for the rest of her life, I guess.)

There aren't enough women in Tolkien to allow for many friendships, which is a problem, so I feel like often whenever two women exist at the same time, I want them to be friends, even if I think that's unlikely - I don't know, for example, that Eowyn and Arwen wouldn't bore each other to death, even if I so, so badly want them to be friends in post-canon. But Elenwe and Amarie as I envision them in my head are two women whose friendship I really seriously buy. I mean, admittedly, that's pretty easy since I'm behind the headcanons, but I swear I actually came up with their personalities and then much later went "Oh. Oh they should be friends!" Even though I'm making them up, pretty much, this is a friendship I've grown to really love.

Speaking of which - these headcanons are free real estate. I don't really read fic, but I would for these two, so if you write anything please send it to me. I will reblog every art that finds its way into my hands. Please write headcanon and meta. Like, go wild, I want this to be A Thing.

#i have spent a normal amount of time thinking about minor characters.

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scribsallaround · 8 years ago

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The Church Interlude

Background: Angelica and John Church married straight out of college and had a daughter named Catherine. He dies of cancer 3 years later. Skip another 3 years, Angelica meets Lafayette and he becomes her first boyfriend since John died. Without further ado, I present the Church Interlude. He'd gone peacefully in his sleep in late May. His favorite time of year, and his favorite month. She showed him pictures of Catherine and sunsets and his favorite things, but he never saw them, of course. He was practically in a vegetative state by the time he finally passed. She screamed and cried and rocked her baby with silent tears, staring into her eyes that so resembled his. She wanted the child to know her father, but that wasn't an option. It wasn't long before the day rolled around again. This year would mark the 5 year anniversary and, per usual, she wasn't prepared. She gradually grew worse and worse in the week leading up and, that morning, curled into a ball and sobbed. And that's how Lafayette awoke to her shaking body on May 28. But he knew what was happening and simply wrapped his strong, comforting arms around her and let her sob into his chest. Once she wore herself out, she silently slipped out of bed, and he followed suit. He changed on his side of the room while she got in the shower, and gave her privacy, going to wait downstairs, browsing through the pictures of his love and John and Catherine. Usually, one of Angelica's sisters would come over and watch Catherine, who knew very little of the significance of the day, but Lafayette assumed he would take care of the little girl while her mother visited John. So he was understandably taken aback when Peggy Schuyler knocked on the door. “Hey Laf,” she greeted with a sad smile. “How's Angie holding up?” “She's…alright, but why are you here?” She snorted indignantly. “Umm, rude.” She strode past him into the house and plopped into the couch, leaving him to close the door behind her with a very confused expression on his face. “I'm here to watch my favorite niece.” “But I thought I was watching Catherine,” he told her, even more confused, if that was possible. “Well you thought wrong. She called me last night to make sure. I come every year.” “Are you sure you heard her right, because-” “She did,” came a soft, somber voice from the stairs. Angelica ascended, seeming way too old to be 27. Grief matured her in a way that made Lafayette squirm with discomfort. She didn't deserve all this hurt when she was still so young, with so much to live for. It just made him want to hold her in his arms forever, or at least until she looked like her normal happy, bubbly self. Immediately, he went to meet her at the bottom of the stairs, gentle kissing her cheek. She tried to smile, for him, and he saw the twitch of the corners of her mouth, but other than that, she just looked exhausted. “Hey sis,” Peggy murmured gently, squeezing her older sister tightly. “Am I watching Kit-Kat?” “Yes,” she answered softly and, before her boyfriend could get a word in, she turned and gently held his hands. “I was hoping…well, would you maybe…come with me?” Go with her? That was…unexpected, and Lafayette couldn't quite figure out how he felt about it. He was happy, jubilant even, that she would want to include him in one of the most tender memories of her past, but he didn't know if he was ready to meet John. His girlfriend’s late husband was always a matter that made him anxious, looming in the shadows like an expectation to live up to, a goal to reach, even if she had assured him months prior that she didn't expect anything but for him to be himself. Still, he knew that meeting John was a privelage, and that it was almost essential in order to continue dating - and sleeping with - his dark-skinned beauty. Her eyes widened with fear as he hesitated, and she snatched her hands from his quickly. “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn't have asked so much fr-” “Non non! I didn't mean…I don't…” he sighed, gathering his wits and gingerly bringing her hands to his lips. “Mon Ange, it would be the greatest pleasure to meet John. Of course I’d love to go with you.” A smile - a REAL smile - flushed her face, and she kissed his lips, gently but earnestly. “Thank you. He’d want to know I was happy.” She was happy. That meant the world to Lafayette. She said she was happy with him, and dear God, did it send him over the moon. “Alright, love birds, don't you want to be gone before Kit-Kat wakes up? I still need to make breakfast.” Peggy smirked, arms crossed and her hip popped out. Angelica almost chuckled, and Laf let out a huff and shook his head in amusement. The youngest Schuyler, and all the other Schuylers too, were like family to him at this point. “You're right. Take care of my baby girl, we'll be back in a bit,” Angelica told her sister, giving her a final peck on the cheek before interlacing her fingers with Laf's and leading the way outside. “Do we need to stop for anything?” he asked, twiddling his thumbs. He wasn't used to being the passenger, but Angelica insisted on driving, and he didn't have anything to do with his hands considering that taking out his phone would have been incredibly rude. “No, I have flowers and…a blanket in the back.” He tried not to show his surprise, but uttered a simple, ‘oh’. Then, after a moment, “How long do you want to stay? Should we pick up lunch?” “Er…sure.” It wasn't something she usually did, but it didn't seem like a bad idea. The blanket was because she usually just lost the strength and the resolve to remain upright, and she didn't feel like sitting on the grass for an hour, crying. A picnic definitely did sound like a better idea than her annual sob-fest, and so she turned at the next exit towards the store. She needed him, Lafayette, beside her. This year, there was no question about whether she should go or not. She had to, and he had to be at her side. Lafayette, on the other hand, felt intrusive. “You don't have to if you don't want - I just thought maybe you'd want something to eat if you got hungry. I want today to go as smoothly as possible for you.” “I know. I want food,” she agreed with a little note of finality in her voice. Sitting back in his seat, Lafayette turned to watch out the window, and they stayed that way until stopping at a rather empty grocery store to pick up some sandwiches, and they were on their way again. “Hey John,” Angelica sniffled quietly to the tombstone as she laid out the blanket and sat gingerly, legs tucked neatly under her. Lafayette lingered behind her, a bit hesitant and fearful of interruption. His hopes of remaining as nonchalant and invisible as possible were, however, dashed, as Angelica introduced him. “This is Lafayette.” She wanted to continue, to gush about all they'd done and how happy the Frenchman made her, but it felt like a betrayal somehow. She had to remind herself that John wanted her to move on, but even moving on felt horrible. ‘He wanted this for you,’ she repeated over and over again, almost like a mantra. “Hello, John,” Lafayette greeted, concealing any trace of uncertainty he had as he sat beside Angelica, a little clumsy while attempting to fold his long limbs into a comfortable position. Once situated, he continued. “Angelica’s told me a lot about you. All good things, of course.” Angelica couldn't help but smile at his effort to make small talk. It meant so much to her that he would accept the unexpected excursion so casually, easily adjusting to the situation. His flexibility was one of the things she admired about him. “Lafayette and I have…well we've been dating for a few months and I…I'm happy,” she murmured with a smile, taking Lafayette's hand and squeezing his hand tightly. In return, he raised her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to its back and letting it rest softly on the blanket. There wasn't really much to say after that. Well, there was one thing. A few things. Too many things. Things they didn't feel they should share, things they feared to voice in front of the other, things that just didn't coincide with the time or place. So they sat in silence, trapped in their thoughts although they both stared intently at the plain black marble headstone. Finally, Angelica stood, relinquishing his grip to go find a water spout for the flowers. While Lafayette cut open the packaging, freeing the bouquet and beginning to trim the awkwardly long stems, he heard the sound of gushing water and a squawk of surprise. He whipped around just in time to see his girlfriend struggling to spin the dial and cut off the flow of water. But her legs and shoes were already soaked. “Crap,” she whined glancing around until she caught Lafayette’s eye. “Are you okay, ma cherie?” he asked, brows furrowed in sympathy. “Yeah, I'm…alright, I guess,” she sighed, shaking the excess moisture from her hands. “I'm going to go clean up.” “Do you want me to go with you?” “No, I've got it. Sorry.” “You have nothing to be sorry for. I'll be here when you get back, mon coeur.” She smiled softly and picked her way through the grass, padding off down the sidewalk, leaving Lafayette alone on the blanket with John. “I worry about her a lot,” he admitted, much to his own surprise. “She has so much hurt from you and now…she doesn't know yet, but her father's sick. Philip is really sick, John, but he made me promise not to tell her when I went to visit him alone a few weeks ago. You see, I asked him a very important question, and now I have to ask you. I need your permission to ask Angelica's hand in marriage.” He was glad to finally get it off his chest, and he let out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding. “It's soon, I know, but I love her. I love her with all my heart and soul, for her torn trust and her aching past. I just want to help her, John. If I could take it all away to bear it myself, I wouldn't flinch, wouldn't hesitate. I just want to make her happy. And I…I don't want to sound cocky o-or rude, but I think…well, she says it all the time…that I make her happy. And I can't even put into words how happy that makes me. She and Catherine…they're my world, John.” He paused a few moments, waiting for God knows what. Lafayette surely didnt know why a pang of surprise hit him when nothing changed. Sure, he heard the wind in the trees and a few birds here and there, but that was all. Nothing out of the usual. He let out a sharp laugh, smiling sheepishly at the headstone before him. “What am I doing. Talking to a headstone…” he mused. “I'm back.” Angelica's voice startled him, and he tried to cover up the jolt he'd given when it pierced his thoughts. However, she giggled when she sat next to him, leaning into his shoulder and sighing contently. He wrapped an arm around her and rested his own head atop hers. “He was a good man,” she muttered, and at first Lafayette thought she was talking to herself. “He loved Catherine.” “He was a good father,” Lafayette chimed in quietly. Just by looking at pictures at the Schuyler-Church household, it was obvious how much John had adored his family. Shifting through the pictures in the attic had given him an even more in-depth look at what kind of person he had been, and what kind of person Angelica had been. Kind of a stereotype, in all honestly. There were pictures of him smashing ice-cream into her face, selfies from the NYC boardwalk. Roller coasters, beach trips, vacations, and more portrayed the younger couple in their highschool years. Engagement announcements, wedding shoots, pregnancy pics, and family photos with Catherine dominated the next few years and then…almost nothing. But Lafayette knew why. In the last few pictures, John’s hair was visibly thinning, Angelica looked like she'd aged 4 year in only a fourth of the time, and Catherine…well, she didnt change a bit except grow up. They always made him smile sadly. He couldn't say he'd never wished to have been there. Once in awhile a thought that made him shake his head in guilt permeated his mind;’What if I had been with her instead of John?’ He knew it was horrible, because it made him FEEL horrible. But the thoughts remained. Would she have been happier? Would they be married? Have a few kids? His stomach churned at the thought, though he couldn't tell if they were ecstatic butterflies or regretful worms. Either way, he didn't like it. It was a few minutes before she spoke again, and it was only after she let out a breathy laugh. Feeling his curious gaze on her, she said, “Did I ever tell you about the time John fell asleep while he was supposed to be watching Catherine and the only reason he woke up was because…” The look on his face made it obvious he wasn't familiar with the story, and she let out another laugh before restarting. “Catherine was probably 4 or 5 months old, and I think it was my first BUSY day back at work after maternity leave, and I was just exhausted, so I told him he'd better watch Catherine while I slept, because she'd just woken up from a nap and there was no way she was going to sleep and time soon. So last I saw, he was watching animal planet with Catherine in the living room while I go up to rest.” “Next thing I know, I hear a very worried John calling my name as he comes upstairs. He fell asleep, and she decided to snack on the pen in his pocket,” she laughed. “Had an eye for fine dining even at 4 months,” he crooned, and she only laughed harder, earning strange glances from other visitors as she covered her mouth with her hand and squeezed her eyes shut. It was by far one of the best ways to see her. She looked happy, and content. She looked like a teenager again. They ate their sandwiches and chatted idly. Angelica told him stories, and he told her about his family. It was nice, certainly peaceful, but still humorous. It was by far one of on the nicest experiences he’d ever had. It would change his life. By the time they finished lunch and started getting ready to leave, the mood had lightened considerably, and they had both adorned wide smiles while they packed up. “Can you take this to the car?” she asked, handing him the bag with all their things. “Of course, mon coeur. The blanket too?” “No, I've got it,” she smiled, squeezing his hand. “I'll be done by the time you bring the car around.” “Alright, I'll be back soon.” He turned and headed off to load up the car, leaving her alone once more. She watched him walk away with a grin before sighing and turning back to John. Sitting down, she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. “I love him, John.” The words spilled past her lips before she could stop herself and she didn't want to stop. “For years and years I wondered how you could ever expect me to move on from you, but I think…John, I really think he's the one. I haven't been this happy since before we found out you had cancer. I could never have asked for a better second chance. Catherine absolutely adores him. So does my family. My father is happy that he works for Washington, my sisters love his sense of humor, he's just…he's perfect. He's not you, but…” She shook her head, the crooked smile still presenting itself. “He's perfect.” “Are you ready?” Lafayette asked simply a few minutes later, watching Angelica fold up the blanket. “Yeah,” she responded with a nod. She felt more free, almost. like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She draped the blanket over her arm and stood on her tip toes to give him a quick but earnest kiss, and his arm wrapped around her shoulders, her head resting on his chest as they turned and left. It was then that he realized something. The usual dreadful feeling of jealousy or guilt that usually came at any mention of John had left him. The entire time they had retold stories of their younger years, he hadn't felt it once. They had turned the haunting pain to joy, thinking of the good rather than the bad, and unintentionally showing each other that it was okay to remember their loved ones without necessarily feeling horrible. They both felt better, liberated. The sign Lafayette had waited for didn't come through a voice or some strange happening that could only have been power from beyond the grave. Instead, it came in a form that was far more crucial to their happiness. It came in their peace of mind. That was his sign.

#Lafayette x Angelica #Hamilton #lin manuel miranda #roleplay #idk #first post in a new blog #notice me #but love me #I love y'all

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