#i love raising neonates but it's honestly like having a human baby

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 43

Oh, my sweet chili babies, today has been A DAY. I told you yesterday how I got two two-week old kittens, my first of the season. It was very exciting and not too stressful, two week kittens usually go 3-4 hours between feeds, so there is some opportunity for sleeping, and with a pair, feeds typically don't take too long. Sweet adorable kittens, relatively basic bottlefeeding, no problem, right? I did a feed at 1am, a feed at 5am, and set my alarm for 9am. 

A little before eight this morning, I woke up because my phone was blowing up, enough that the vibrating woke me even though the sound was off. My TNR group chat was in a frenzy because a person called our coordinator about a local feral who'd started having kittens on her porch, but then the woman had gone outside, scared the shit out of Mama, and long story short, the cat was running around the yard screaming, with a kitten hanging half out. Not ideal! By the time I caught up with things, two of our trappers were out there but Mama had hit the road, leaving behind one dead kitten, presumably the one she'd had the trouble with, and one alive kitten, placenta still attached, still wet from birth. I talked them through drying and warming the kitten, separating the placenta, etc, all with my brain at about 70% function. It became clear fairly quickly that the mama was not coming back, at least not any time soon, and the baby was getting hungry, so something had to be done. 

I am the only bottlefeeder at our rescue who regularly handles days-old kittens, but even for me, this was a new record. The  other trappers brought him to me, cradled in one's cupped hands, held close to the heating vent. They named him "You're Killin' Me, Smalls," or Smalls for short. He weighed 81 grams at his first feeding, slightly less than two packs of gum, but he was fully furred (full fur means full-term kitten) and rooting energetically. He suckled on the syringe, all good signs for his prognosis, but newborn kittens are shockingly fragile. Smalls needs two hour feeds, all through the day and night. 

After I fed Smalls, I had to separate Amy and Rosa because Amy was exhibiting sibling suckling behavior, which is maladaptive instinct that makes a kitten suckle on anything catlike nearby. Not that bad if it's a blanket or a stuffed toy, but can be very damaging if it is a sibling. So I got out a whole other set of carrier, towels, stuffed toy, heating pad, and set up a second kitten setup. Then I had to feed the girls. They both still have food-change diarrhea, and it was not getting any better. I texted with our vet tech, who suggested more frequent, smaller meals. So all the kittens went onto two hour feeds. 

I realized in the afternoon that I was going to need more kitten formula sooner than I expected, so I went to the pet store by my house. Nobody there, neither customers nor staff, were wearing masks or distancing. Lovely. And they didn't even have KMR, just its cut-rate cousin, PetLac. If I wanted soy formula, I could've gotten it a lot cheaper at Walmart, since it's all they sell. In the parking lot, I got a call from the rescue coordinator. I told her I was having trouble finding KMR. She told me she had a brand new can for me, and also another kitten. A what? I basically asked. Apparently Rosa and Amy had a sibling who somehow got mixed in with the TWENTY FIVE OTHER KITTENS that this farm owner had brought in today. Also, a lot of the kittens were way younger than advertised, which is a big problem when you have three bottlefeeders and twenty bottlefeedees. So I took the can, and the kitten, and that's how I ended up with Jake! 

Jake is a weird puzzle that I haven't figured out yet. He's sick with something, probably something respiratory since he has serious eye goopies, but no other discharge yet. He also seems to loathe being alive. He hates the bottle, he hates the syringe, he hates milk, he hates being weighed or washed. He expresses his hatred by twisting his tiny body in such a way as to attempt to hurl himself into the void and to the ground far below. Once he is in the carrier with Rosa he settles down, but it literally takes twenty minutes to get a teaspoonful of milk into him. The girls aren't much better, honestly, and Smalls is pretty slow but he has the excuse of being zero days old. My four kittens need to be fed every two hours and feeding them takes an hour. It's going to be a long, long week. 

Anyway, I'm going to lay down for an hour and contemplate the hubris of wishing for kittens even though I knew I'd be punished for it. At least they are cute and extremely fluffy, and if I can just keep them alive it will all be worth it. If anybody would like to contribute to the effort, I have an Amazon Wishlist of kitten supplies right here. I especially need Breeders Edge powder, it's expensive but everyone I've talked to says it is the best thing for food change diarrhea. Here's hoping, cause I've gotten pooped on A. Lot today. 

[ninja-librarian]

Commission for @craftingandcats! Featuring Ryou, Zakuro, and their first pregnancy!

For info about commissions, click here!

In all honesty, this situation they were in was completely unexpected. Nothing like Ryou and Zakuro had discussed and planned many times. Emphasis on unexpected and unplanned, but most definitely not unwanted.

That was what both Ryou and Zakuro were thinking but not saying as they sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the pregnancy test in Ryou’s hands and the pale pink plus sign that stared up at them

But Ryou, ever the scientist, ever logical, ever the skeptic—especially when he thought things were too good to possibly be true—said softly, “You know, uh, these things… They sometimes give a false positive.”

“I knew you’d say that,” Zakuro said a bit flatly as she stood up, walking out of the bathroom. Ryou leapt to his feet to rush after her, apologies on his tongue, but before he could get a word out, Zakuro was back in the doorway, a plastic bag from the local pharmacy in her hands. She pulled out six more pregnancy tests—each dated with a sticky note—and laid them out on the bathroom counter.

Seven in total, including the one Ryou still held.

Seven little pale pink positive signs staring up at them.

Ryou stared, stunned, with open-mouthed awe as he looked at the tests on the counter, then the one in his hand, and then Zakuro.

“I knew you’d say that,” Zakuro said softly. “Because that’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past week.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, then they both broke into grins, throwing their arms around each other, laughing as they kissed.

“You’re pregnant!” Ryou exclaimed.

“I’m pregnant!” Zakuro echoed, wiping away a tear from her eye. “I’m pregnant… We’re going to be parents. A little sooner than we talked about, but…”

“No, no buts,” Ryou said, kissing her again. “This is perfect. Have you made a doctor’s appointment yet?”

“Not yet,” Zakuro said. “Let’s do it now. Find a spot on both of our schedules. I want you there.”

Ryou held her tight. “There is nowhere else I could possibly want to be than at your side.”

*****

A week later, they had a due date, had heard their baby’s heartbeat, and a prescription for neonatal vitamins.

They also had a long talk about when and how they were going to tell their friends.

“After three months was what the doctor recommended,” Zakuro said. “That’s about six weeks from now.”

Ryou nodded. “Considering we managed to hide the fact that we were dating for nearly seven months, six weeks should be easy enough.”

So they thought.

It became a little more difficult than they initially thought it would be.

“Let’s go out for sushi on Friday night,” Keiichiro suggested when he and Ryou discussed taking their wives out for dinner.

“Uh…” Ryou said awkwardly, not sure how to subvert this. “Actually, didn’t you say that you and Rin wanted to try the desserts at that new little cake shop? There’s a ramen place across the street from there.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea.” Keiichiro agreed nodding.

Ryou heaved a sigh of relief, knowing full well he dodged a bullet.

Two weeks later, they faced a similar issue at game night, and the wine started to pour.

“How many glasses do we need?” Lettuce asked the room. However, she frowned slightly as Zakuro did not raise her hand. “You don’t want any, Zakuro?”

“Uh, not tonight,” Zakuro said, trying hard not to bite her lip or look nervous.

“Are you sure?” Ichigo pressed. “It’s your favorite brand.”

“No,” Zakuro said. “I’m… driving. I’m driving tonight. Designated driver.”

At that, the subject was dropped.

However, a few days later, Zakuro politely declined sampling a new tea Mint had acquired for the Café, as it contained caffeine.

“I’m avoiding caffeine,” Zakuro explained. “It’s healthier, you know.”

“But you practically live on caffeine with your schedule,” Kisshu pointed out.

“Yeah, Zakuro Onee-Chan would have to be pregnant to give up caffeine, na no da!” Pudding said, cheerfully oblivious.

Ryou spat out a mouthful of tea in shock and Zakuro just stood frozen with her actress smile plastered on her face but with wide eyes.

The entire room was quiet, then,

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE PREGNANT!” Mint screeched.

And that was how they told their friends.

More or less.

*****

They didn’t forget to tell Taka.

No, they didn’t plan to tell Taka.

There was a huge difference.

He noticed. Oh, yes, he noticed.

First it was some minor changes in routine. Ryou took care of the litterbox—which honestly Taka didn’t mind, given how much he hated Ryou—and the two were even more cuddly and close than Taka could ever remember.

Taka was concerned because Zakuro started taking pills every day, though. She shouldn’t; pills were the most evil thing in the world and Taka hated pills about as much as he hated Ryou, the vet, the vacuum cleaner, and the word ‘diet’. Pills were for illness and feeling unwell. But Zakuro did not necessarily look unwell, even though Taka heard her vomit early in the morning—way too early to be fed.

For once, he understood the humans’ frustration with him throwing up hairballs in the middle of the night.

Food was also a change. A bad change. A horrible, no good change.

See, Taka loved fish. Ate it for every meal.

But that came to an end when Zakuro went to prepare Taka’s dinner, popped open the can… and immediately dropped it and ran from the room, retching and gagging and yelling for Ryou.

Ryou, the ungrateful little wretch who had invaded Taka’s home and stolen his human, threw away the can of perfectly good cat food. Without letting Taka even having a nibble. Then he left the apartment, coming back with more cat food cans.

What was inside was not fish. Not even close.

It was chicken.

It was after nearly a week of being served this inferior food that Taka began to notice something else.

Zakuro smelled funny. She smelled too much like Ryou.

Taka was full of rage and indignation.

How dare he?

“Oh dear,” Zakuro said, frowning at the yowling cat. “Taka really doesn’t like the new food, does he?”

“Ignore him,” Ryou said, continuing to eat. “He’s yelling at me. It’s not about the food.”

Zakuro frowned. “Cat genes?

“Uh huh.”

“So, what exactly is he yelling at you about this time?”

“I’ve ruined your scent. You smell too much like me now, even after a shower. You should smell more like you. And by that, he means ‘more like Taka’.”

“Ah,” Zakuro glanced at the angry cat again. “He’ll understand when the baby comes though, right?”

“The baby will smell a lot like you usually do, and we could bring a blanket with the baby’s scent on it first,” Ryou said. He reached across the table, taking Zakuro’s hand, giving her a smile. “Don’t worry. In just a few months, we’ll all be a big, happy family. Or, at least, the three of us humans will be happy and Taka will just be as content as he gets.”

Zakuro laughed.

Taka stormed off, outraged at being laughed at and ignored, glaring at them both as he ate his chicken.

He refused to admit that it tasted good.

*****

One of Zakuro’s favorite things about being pregnant—and there was not many of those favorite things—was that every night as they laid in bed together, Ryou put his hand on her belly. She teased him about this initially, because she wasn’t even beginning to show and the baby was smaller than a peanut.

“Doesn’t mean it’s too early to bond with my child,” Ryou retorted. She had laughed then.

But now… Now it was the thing she looked forward to every night. Lying there in the dark with Ryou’s warm hand on her stomach, their child growing there.

It was often in those moments where she wondered whether the child would be a boy or a girl, what he or she would look like. Would that child be born with her dark hair or Ryou’s blond hair? His bright blue eyes or her dark gray eyes? Who would the child take after personality wise?

She loved the quiet, knowing full well it was the calm before the storm. Soon there would be a crying baby at all hours, diapers to be changed, and feedings. And she would welcome it gladly.

But for now, they’d enjoy the time they had to just be Zakuro and Ryou before they became Mom and Dad.

It was a moment like this where Zakuro felt the baby move for the first time, and the first time the baby kicked was against Ryou’s hand, making them both smile.

It was also these moments where they talked a lot about the baby. About what color to paint the nursery, about how they would parent, about names.

The discussion of names came up when Zakuro was about five months pregnant, her belly round and it was much clearer that a baby was growing, was coming.

It was Ryou who brought it up, which surprised Zakuro to some extent, the whisper that broke the silence in the dark.

“If it’s a girl, could we… could we name her after my mom?”

Zakuro, who had been dozing off, was suddenly wide-awake.

“Your mom?” She said. She thought for a second. “Your mom’s name was Lily, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then do you want it to be in English like hers, or the Japanese ‘Yuri’?”

“Could we do a variation of ‘Yuri’? Sayuri?”

“Small lily,” Zakuro said in English. She nodded to herself some, humming. “I like it. Shirogane Sayuri. And if it’s a boy, would you like to name him after your dad?”

Ryou was quiet and for a moment Zakuro thought he fell asleep, but then he spoke, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can hear his name again.”

“Ah,” Zakuro whispered. “That’s why you wanted the variation of your mother’s name.”

“Yeah.”

She reached over and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “You know… I know we talked about not finding out the gender. But do you want to? It might help in choosing a name.”

Ryou was quiet again, then he said, “Can we? I know you wanted to be surprised…”

“I wouldn’t suggest it if it wasn’t possible, and if I didn’t mind.”

“Then let’s do it.”

A week later, they held the sonogram of their daughter, sitting on the couch together, just staring at it, smiling.

“Sayuri,” Zakuro whispered.

Ryou kissed her cheek, repeating, “Sayuri…”

*****

It was about seven months into her pregnancy, and Zakuro had already stopped doing appearances, signings, and performances, focusing on her health and the baby.

But there was also too much time on her hands.

She tried to fill it with her friends, reading, binge-watching shows, and preparing the baby’s room. But there was also a lot of time for self-doubt and fear to seep in.

She couldn’t stop thinking about her own childhood, the nannies and the dinners alone and desperate for any glimpse of her parents, let alone a hug or good-night kiss.

Zakuro thought of her own busy schedule, and Ryou’s. What if she couldn’t balance a career and being a mother?

Worse, what if she was a terrible mother?

And that was how Ryou came home to find Zakuro sitting on the couch, sobbing into her hands. He dropped the groceries he was carrying and rushing to her side.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, panicking. “Are you in pain? Is it the baby?”

Zakuro, her face still covered by her hands, shook her head, huffing and sniffling. “I’m going to be an awful mother…”

Ryou hugged her, and said, “No, you’re not.”

“I am!” Zakuro exclaimed, lifting her puffy, red-eyed face. “My parents were awful, and I’m going to be just like them. I’m going to utterly fail our child!”

“No, you’re not,” Ryou repeated. He cupped Zakuro’s face in his hands. “You are brilliant and wonderful and loving. You’re going to be an amazing mother. You love Sayuri so much already. And we’re in this together, you know? I’ve got my worries about becoming a parent, too, if that helps.”

Zakuro frowned at him. “What do you have to worry about? Your parents, they were so kind and loving and attentive…”

“They were,” Ryou agreed. “And that’s what I’m worried about. That I’ll never be as good as a father as my dad, that I won’t be able to do things as well as my mom. I’m going to ask myself every day, what would my mom do, what would my dad say? I’m worried that I’m going to fail and make a ton of mistakes. And I know I will. And so will you. But we’re going to be doing this together, you know. So it’s okay. We’re going to make mistakes, and that’s okay, as long as we know we’re allowed to make mistakes and our kids know that we’re allowed to make mistakes because we’re human. That’s just how life works. Everything—and everyone—will be okay.”

Zakuro sniffled and nodded. “So you’ll ask what your parents would do or say and do it, and I’ll ask what my parents would do or say and do the opposite.”

Ryou chuckled and hugged her. “Yeah, that’s what we’ll do.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder, still heaving slightly. Ryou just rubbed her back comfortingly.

He whispered in her ear, “You’re going to be a great mom. I just know it.”

She took comfort in his words, knowing he’d never lie to her about anything, let alone something as big as this.

All she could do was her best.

And that was what she was going to give.

*****

Ryou stood over the little bassinet, smiling as he looked down at Sayuri, sleeping soundly.

She was so tiny, so beautiful.

He loved her.

He loved her so much.

This beautiful little creation of his and Zakuro’s.

He glanced over his shoulder at his sleeping wife, then back to his daughter. He carefully picked her up, holding her close, making gentle shushing sounds as she stirred, yawning but cuddling in against his chest, her eyes staying closed the whole time.

Ryou sat down in the rocking chair beside the hospital bed, just rocking back and forth, feeling his daughter’s warmth and weight and presence.

How had he been so lucky?

“You sweet, beautiful angel,” He murmured. “What did I do to deserve you?” He glanced up at Zakuro, and smiled. “Either of you?”

To his surprise, the corner of Zakuro’s mouth lifted. “I’m still trying to figure that out myself.” She said softly, opening her eyes.

Ryou chuckled, shaking his head.

Zakuro shifted slightly, her smile growing. “Now this is a sight I thought too good to be true. I love it. Watching you hold our baby.”

“Well, you’re going to see it every day for the rest of her life.”

Zakuro let out a laugh at that. “Yeah, right. She’s going to be too big to hold eventually.”

Ryou instinctively held Sayuri closer. “Lies. Lies and slander. She’s my baby girl and she’ll never be too big to hold.”

“You hear that, Sayuri?” Zakuro crooned. “You haven’t been on the outside for five hours yet and your Daddy is completely and totally whipped.”

Ryou grinned at her. “For my two favorite girls? Completely and totally.”

Zakuro smiled and she drifted off back to sleep, the new family resting and relaxing and just enjoying these first few moments together.

They were more than ready to begin their new lives together, happy as happy can be.

And Taka? Well, he was just going to have to deal. And, eventually, he could admit that the weird human kitten wasn’t all that bad.

At least, he thought that until Sayuri learned to crawl.

But that was another story.

[pocketsizedsam-blog1]

A Christmas Nightmare

Jared x reader 

 Word count: 2 541

 Warnings: pregnancy, car accident

 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the bunker, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there, the children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads. Just kidding! It was late at night and you were sure as hell not asleep. 

The bunker didn't have mice and you didn't believe in Santa Claus. There were no stockings and no kids... quite yet. It was the same as any other Christmas, you would get nothing you took an interest in and you had to spend your money on other people. This Christmas was different in a way, For you are bearing a child for the man you loved. You and Sam were inseparable. You two had only been dating for five months when you found out you were pregnant! Sam- well he was secretive, at first, but he confessed to all the secrets he had kept about his past and his profession. "A hunter?" You looked him straight in the face. "I figured you were some black ops guy.. or, or a spy?!?! What do you hunt? Moose?" "Wendigos. Demons. Anything that goes bump in the night." "What is a... 'Wendigo?'" You cocked your head to the side, in confusion and disbelief. He chuckled at your question and continued to explain, "Wendigos are former humans whose cannibalism has transformed them into a creature with superhuman strength and speed that feasts on human flesh." "That uh-" You choked out. "That sounds terrible!" You took a couple of seconds. "Monsters are real..." You slowly started to recover from what Sam had just said ever so plainly. "My brother and I... get rid of monsters that hurt people." He pulled you into his ams and held you close.  His body towered a whole foot and four inches over your petite body. You stood at just five feet tall.  The sappy Christmas movie played in the bunker's living area. Sam and Dean had previously strung Christmas lights up for you. Speaking of Sam and Dean? Where were they? Certainly not with you! They were out saving the world again. Even if this time it was just a single spirit. You sat on the couch in your fuzzy pajama's, wishing Sam was here to cuddle with you. You started rubbing your baby bump in a circular motion as you cried along with the movie, even though you had seen it seven times since December started and you hated it with a burning passion. "Are you hungry baby?" You cooed to the bump. "Say 'Yeah, mommy! Food is a great idea!'" You giggled at your own foolishness as you pulled yourself up off the couch. "Oh, I'm so not ready to be a mom-" You groaned, but quickly cut yourself off as you rummaged through the cupboards. "No cookies!" You cursed at yourself for the idea. Sam would killed you if anything bad happened to you! But a pregnant woman needs, what a pregnant woman needs! The store was only ten minutes down the road... What bad could happen?  ~ "It could be Krampus." Sam suggested, his eyes wandering off, longing to be home, snuggled down in the nice warm blanket of his bed with you and your baby curled into him. "The Christmas spirit is getting to your head, Sammy! You remember what Bobby said!" Dean laughed at his younger brother. "It's just a vengeful spirit!" Dean was annoyed at the lack of attention he had from his brother.  "Look, the quicker we get this case over and done with, the sooner we can get back to Y/N. Salt and burn the bones! BOOM! Case solved." "When is anything ever as simple as that anymore?"  Sam grumbled. "I'm going to miss my first Christmas with Y/N and as a father-to-be!" "Well technically you're not missing it as a father-to..." "You know what I mean, Dean!" Sam cut him off angrily. "I shouldn't have come with you!" "Thanks for that, Sam! Ditching your only brother- On Christmas!" "I'm gonna have a family, Dean! I'm ditching Christmas with them! I've spent what... Thirty Christmas's with you? I was going to propose to Y/N tonight! My plans went down the drain when you mentioned mysterious deaths halfway across the country from her- from them!" Sam raised his voice as he felt himself getting angrier. Dean honestly didn't know what to say. He had no idea Sam had plans. Sam hadn't anticipated the case lasting so long. "I'm sorry, Sam I-" Dean had been interrupted, yet again. This time by Sam's phone ringing. "Hello?" Sam answered tiredly. "Sam? It's Alanis... Y/N's best friend.." Alanis took a long shaky breath. "It's [Your/Nickname]- She's not doing so good." "What? Why?" Sam shot up nervously,  grabbing the thin sheets of the motel room bed out of anger.  "She was in an accident. Drunk driver. I'm at the hospital now." "A-and the baby?" Sam's throat had gone dry and he suddenly forgot how to talk. "I'm not sure yet, Sam... When can you get here? She needs you. This must be a nightmare for you, Sam, I'm sorry. Nobody wants to hear that any day, let alone on Christmas!" It was going to take Sam at least eight hours to drive home. And how was he going to get there? There was no way Dean was going to leave this case unfinished and they only had one car between them. "Are you an idiot? What kind of brother do you think I am? She's my family now too, Sam! We're going to go together." It didn't take long before the two of them were on the road. The long journey back to Lebanon, Kansas had begun. Dean insisted his younger brother get some rest, but there was no way Sam was going to get any sleep. The love of his life could be dying and he wasn't there for her." "I'm never gonna forgive myself, Dean! It's my fault! I should've been there!" Sam hung his head as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Did you hit your pregnant girlfriend with a car? No, Sam, You didn't! You shouldn't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone. Talk to me." Dean offered, slightly aggravated with Sam. "There is nothing to talk about, Dean! My girlfriend! The woman I love, who is pregnant with our child, was in a car accident with a drunk driver and I wasn't there to protect her. End of story." Sam rested his head against the cold windows of his brother's 1967 Chevrolet Impala. "Can you just drive and keep your mouth shut?"  Dean huffed and swiftly flicked on the radio. Lightning Crashes  by Live played. Sam could't bear to hear the lyrics "Lightning Crashes. A new mother cries." Especially not if you wouldn't be there to be a new mother. Sam furiously changed the channel. Another song that Sam couldn't stand came on the radio. He decided it would be better just to not listen to the radio. After a few hours of driving in the wee hours of the morning, Dean had almost fallen asleep at the wheel. He decided to pull over at the nearest gas station to stretch his legs and get a cup of coffee.  "Are we home?" Sam startled awake. "No, no, not yet, I had to stop and stretch my legs... Get a coffee so I won't fall asleep." "Let me drive." Sam offered. "You need a break." "No, Sam, it's okay. I'll drive, you need the rest." Sam protested but Dean hopped back in the drivers seat. The boys didn't have time to go to the bunker by the time they got back to Lebanon. They drove straight to the hospital, Where your best friend was waiting for them.  "Dean! Sam! You're here!" Alanis smiled weakly.  "Where's Y/N?" Sam worried.  "All I know is that she's in surgery. The doctors won't tell me anything else." Alanis sighed, scratching her forehead.  "I'm gonna go find someone who will tell me." Sam growled.  He left, leaving Alanis and Dean alone. She slid her arm around Dean's back and laid her head on his shoulder.  "You didn't tell him about us right? Sam doesn't need that right now." "I didn't get the chance." Dean kissed her forehead.  A doctor approached them.  "Family of Y/N Y/L/N?" The doctor inquired. "Sort of," Dean started off. "I'm her boyfriend's brother and this is her best friend."  Alanis pulled away from Dean when she seen Sam emerge from another corridor.  "Oh, speak of the boyfriend, here he is!" She smiled. The doctor turned to Sam and shook his hand.  "I'm Dr. Cutter." She smiled up at the man who stood several inches taller than her. "Sam Winchester." His voice was shaky.  "Congratulations, dad! When we rushed Y/N into surgery, we were hoping we wouldn't have to deliver the baby, butY/N was already in labor when she arrived. The baby was in a state of shock where we believed it was an unsafe environment for your child. We conducted an emergency c-section in the OR and Y/N gave birth to a tiny little mite. She was two pounds three ounces. But don't worry, we have her under our close care and she's rather healthy!" "She? We had a girl? I have baby girl?" Tears pricked Sam's eyes.  "Congratulations, Sam!" Dean placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and sent a smile his way. "Y/N is out of surgery and I'm going to run you through her injuries." As the three walked with the doctor, She explained all the injuries to Sam. "She has a left shoulder injury. It is dislocated. She has a torn ligament in the neck which will cause her some discomfort. Herniated disks are quite common in side-impact accidents. We done surgery on that. She has a concussion that we are going to take extra precaution with, but we expect she will make a full recovery!" Dr. Cutter brought them to the NICU to see yours and Sam's baby. The three looked in through the glass.  "And here is your baby girl!" Dr. Cutter waved Sam over to the door.  "She needs a name daddy!" Alanis punched Sam's arm lightly.  "May-maybe I should wait for Y/N to wake up... I'm sure she'd like to have a say in what we name her."  Alanis nodded. "She'd love that."  A nurse paged Dr. Cutter. "Sam? Y/N's awake and She's asking for you!" Sam nodded and followed Dr. Cutter to your room. Dean and Alanis stayed at the neonatal Intensive care unit, watching their niece through the glass. Sam took a seat next to your bed. "Sam? Wha- What happened? Where am I?" "You were in a car accident. You're at the hospital, baby!" Sam brushed a bit of hair back out of your face. "I was in a-" You gasped. "But the baby! Sam, is the baby okay?" "She's okay. In the NICU but she's okay." He smiled, cupping your cheek.  "She? A baby girl!" You exclaimed. "What did you name her?" "I didn't. I wanted to wait for you!" "Blaire. I like Blaire!" You smiled.  "Blaire? Isn't that a boy's name?" Sam chuckled. You spelled it out for him. "It's unisex, asshol- gah." You winced a little.  "Hey, hey take it easy! We can name her Blaire." "Blaire Mary."   A Big smile crept onto Sam's face. You knew his mother meant a lot to him, her being gone and all. He held her much smaller right hand in his bigger ones.  "Y/N." He started off shakily. "From the day I met you, you've been the love of my life. We had gotten close, and when you said yes for that very first date, my heart skipped a beat and i'm hoping you'll say yes again. I honestly didn't think we would last, I was always gone on hunts. But you stayed! I once r-read there are only three things you should change about a girl. Her address, her opinion on men and he last name. I've already changed two of those and now, I want to change another. Y/N Y/L/N..." He let go of your hand and fumbled nervously at this box that was nestled in his coat pocket. He opened the sleek black box, revealing an absolutely beautiful ring inside. "Will You marry me? I-I was going to ask you before but then Dean fucked up my plans-" "Of course I'll marry you!" You giggled and sniffed as you tugged at his hand, pulling him closer for a kiss.  There was a small, single diamond in the center of the silver band. Sam carefully slid the ring on her ring finger, making sure he didn't hurt you in any way.  You two kissed passionately! You had butterflies in your stomach just like it was the first time you two had kissed. Just like the first time he made love to you.  "Now, take me to see our daughter, my Prince!" You giggled.  "Anything for you, short stuff!"He smiled, getting a wheel chair and lifting her into it. "I could walk you know." She huffed. "Uhh. No! You just had a c-section and a surgery on your back! Plus, I like pushing you around."  "Good to know!" You smiled back at him as he pushed you to the NICU.  "There she is!" Sam cooed.  You were surprised that Alanis was there. When you arrived at the hospital, you were very disoriented, you thought you had seen her, but you weren't sure. "You stayed?" You smiled at Alanis. "Of course I did! You remember me being here? You were pretty out of it..."  "Well, I didn't know if it was actually you... Or if I was just seeing things."  Alanis laughed at you.  "Have you been here all by yourself?" You worried. "You could've gone home... got some rest!" "No, no. Dean kept me company!" She shot Dean a smile as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Oh... You two?" You said sarcastically. "I would've never guessed!" "You knew?" Dean looked at you, cocking his head to the side. "Of course I knew! Sam did too, You guys weren't exactly private people. When Dean jacks off, he moans your name." You whispered. Alanis started to blush.  "Also you tend to leave your panties a lot." You teased your friend. "What? I know what your panties look like!" "Anyways..." Alanis changed the subject, leaning into Dean. "Did you name the baby yet?" "We did, actually." Sam smiled. "Blaire Mary Winchester!"  A year ago, You, nor Sam... Nor Dean had believed in love. Now they had each other! Dean found somebody who could understand why he would have to leave a lot, and you loved Sam for who he was. He didn't have to hide the fact that he was a hunter. This Christmas nightmare turned into one of the best Christmas's the four of them had ever had.