#i love making tashi deal with patrick 'weaponized honesty' zweig

[onward--upward]

fuck it friday

hello i am hopping on here bc @eusuntgratie tagged me in fuck it friday!! yay!!

here is some of my tashi pov, because i finally got some words down!! i've been fixating on my script so it was nice to dip back into my fic writing today!!

anyways here's a snippet! what do you do when everything is changing around you, and your boyfriend is in love with your husband, and you're not sure what your life is going to look like a year from now .... spiral! that's what you do! enjoy x

“Sometimes,” Art says, stretching his neck back, “it feels like I don’t exist when I’m not with you.” Patrick is looking at Tashi like this statement must be for her, but she’s been with Art a long time, now, and he’s never said anything like this before.  And Patrick is a pussy and won’t ask, so it’s up to her, as usual. “Which one of us?” Art looks over at her like he doesn’t understand the question. “Both. Either. I don’t know.” Maybe that makes sense. Looking back, Art had careened almost directly from Patrick’s overwhelming affection into Tashi’s exacting control. The few short years where neither of them were in touch with him were the years he seemed to almost fade away. Tashi had always thought that was her own grief, washing away everything else, but maybe it had felt that way for Art, too: like nothing mattered anymore. Like he barely existed in his own skin.   It’s too much to handle, really. “I think that’s called dissociation,” she says, because anything else feels too big to hold.  Patrick, though, brushes a thumb down the bridge of Art’s nose, a bizarrely intimate gesture. “I get what you mean,” he says, quiet. Tashi has to look away.  *** There’s an email sitting in her inbox, a file of 20 of the top players on the girls high school circuit, and, for reasons she hasn’t examined too closely, some promising boys doubles teams. She hasn’t opened it, because if she opens it then she has to do something about it.  But it’s there. Hanging over her head. Waiting.

tags! @shitouttabuck @firenati0n @okaybutlikemakeitgay @lemmeaskthedevil and anyone else xoxo