#i lost my nose piercing somewhere. i didn't feel when it fell off this time šŸ˜­
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dormiloncito Ā· 6 days ago
Text
this can't keep happening to meeee
3 notes Ā· View notes
naokow Ā· 3 years ago
Text
Get Free
Ā summary:Ā  I want to get off, but I keep riding the ride, I never really noticed that I had to decide, to play someone's game, or live my own life.
warnings:Ā angst, manipulating behaviour from eren, female reader (iā€™m sorry i didnā€™t make the reader genderless), cursing, smoking, drinking. let me know if i should add something else.
word count: 2.8k
A/N: so let me know if it sucked, pls, thank you. also, English is not my first language, so there can be mistakes pls tell me where my dumb ass was wrong
Tumblr media
The hand on the waist was the final nail in the coffin for you.
How dare he dance with another girl. How dare he smile at her, how dare he ignore you and act like you weren't there, too.
"This is just pitiful," Marleen snorted, finishing half of her drink in a sip as she watched the same scene unfolding in the living room, those two uncaring of everyone else, like they were throwing it in your face.
You hummed, not really in the mood for taunts and half assed advices. "Which part?"
Marleen finished her drink and threw the cup over her shoulder, over the improvised bar the frat boys did last year with wood panels and boxes. It landed in the kitchen, someone yelling at the brunette as it nearly missed him.
Ā "You. Honestly, for the last time, you need toā€”"
Frowning, you tensed and turned to glare at her, only to stop staring at the dance floor. "Honestly, Marleen, for the last time, I'm not fucking Jean to get over Eren."
She raised her hands in mock surrender, taking the half empty bottle of beer from your loosened grasp. "Doesn't have to be Jean, pal."
Groaning, throwing your head back dramatically, you couldn't find it in yourself to debate this subject, again.
Not that it mattered. Not like it was supposed to be a fun night at a frat house. Not like you made a fuss about it, dressed in your best leather pants and top, tattoos on display.
Not like you actually tried a bolder look with the cat like eyeliner and actually put on lip gloss, because you knew Eren liked those, said once your lips were pretty like that, coated with too much cherry glitterā€”
No, it didn't matter, not even as you sat there, feeling stupid as you pulled at your snake bites, wondering if you should get drunk or just go back to your dorm and complain to Annie.
But the blonde was at the party, too, somewhere among the crowd and probably sulking just as you, if you were to guess after seeing Armin with some junior chick an hour ago.
Marleen pushed herself away from the counter, losing her balance as she fell from the chair, but you saw it coming. Rolling your eyes, you caught her arm and steadied her.
Marleen grinned as you let her go, and seized your bicep, squeezing it three times, like a grandmother would with her grandchildren's cheeks.
"God, I love your muscles."
You loved them, too, but often found yourself wondering if Eren would pick you if you looked different, like the pretty, thin brunette wrapped around him on the dance floor.
God, how much can someone dance?
"Anyway," Marleen sighed, fake annoyance and all that, "Someone has to fuck Jean."
You snorted, "Poor you, volunteering like that for society."
She waved you off, pushing your now empty beer bottle into your chest as she left your side with her arms in the air, waving franatically to catch Jean's attention from his seat on the couch, where Connie was trying to explain something with his fingers.
Putting the bottle behind you on the counter, you tried to stop yourself from looking at him. What good did it do toā€”
He was gripping her waist, his large hands, clad in rings you got for his last birthday, covering her exposed skin. Her arms were in his hair as he bent to say something in her earā€”
No, you noticed, he was kissing her neck and she was grinning sideways at Eren.
Scoffing, you tugged at one of the pierces in your nose. You should know better by now, Marleen once chided after cleaning your face off, ruined make up almost dried on your cheeks.
He knows, Annie scolded from beside you two in the small public bathroom after Eren ruined karaoke night and brought his new girlfriend.
He knows you love him and doesn't care. So do yourself a favour and move on.
Yeah, you watch Eren laugh at something the girl said, move on from the crush you had on him since you were sixteen and his hair was still short and he was crying over his parents' divorce.
Sure, move on and forget all the times you helped him, picked the pieces and put him first. Like he did, all those years going down the drain ever since the school year started and he barely acknowledged you.
"You look like shit," someone took the seat next to you, and you sighed before accepting the offered red solo cup.
"Feel like it, too," you looked at Levi snorting as he sipped on his beer. He looked like he just got out of bed.
Right, you scowled at yourself. You've been so busy preparing to let Eren walk all over you, that you forgot that Levi lived in the frat house that hosted the party.
Hange was talking Erwin's ears off, but he smiled and waved at you from where he stood close to the oven, once you looked over your shoulder to inspect who was there. Hange imitated his gesture without turning to see who, exactly, they were saluting.
Levi ignored them altogether, hair disheveled from his twitching fingers. He probably had a nap, you guessed, from the simple black shirt and jeans. Most likely got dragged down from his room by Zeke, or someone.
You knew him well enough, since he bumped into you almost one year ago, in the parking lot where you were smoking, asking for a lighter. Sure, he ignored your bad mood since you walked over to class when Eren forgot to pick you up.
It was just one time.
It wasn't until many months later that he picked a habit of ditching you and your plans together.
Levi was older by two years, and so were his friends, but they took you under their wing almost immediately.
They were protective of you, especially Hange, but no one came close to Levi anytime Eren made you cry or upset you with anything.
Like now, as he glared at the place where you already knew Eren was having fun with the girl. But you chose to look at Levi, chin in the palm of your hand.
Finally, he turned to take you in, his eyes catching onto the fact that you wore the rings and choker he got for you over the last year, then the many earrings Hange and Erwin got you anytime you wanted another pierce.
"Well, you sure look worse than me," you smirked, but Levi frowned at your attempt.
"He did it again?"
You couldn't find it in yourself to get mad at his words, "He just forgot, is all."
Levi snorted, "He should get checked for that Alzheimer he's been sporting for the last months."
You hit his arm, barely touching him, and huffed. "Play nice."
To his credit, he left it at that and let the noise of the party fall over you, both nursing your drinks.
You pondered going to Hange to ask if you could crash over the night with them, knowing Marleen was busy and Annie probably left by now.
"Want to dance?"
Well, then.
Your eyebrows almost reached your hairline as your eyes found Levi's, "Huh?"
He didn't shrug, or rolled his eyes, simply putting down his bottle and staring at you. You didn't want to look over at the dance floor, or be near that sexual tension, butā€”
But Levi was trying, and you knew how much he despised the parties, or having to interact, or, God Almighty forbid, dance.
And he was asking if you wanted to, because he knew you liked the song that was playing before you even realized what song it was or that you've been moving your head along with the beat for the last minute.
But Eren was thā€”
You jumped from the bar stool, "Sure."
You were taller than Levi by some good inches, but that didn't bother him. It never did, not even when you made fun of it at game nights or that one time at the carnival when he was the only one to join you in the big rides.
It didn't bother him, not even now, as you let him put his hands on your bare waist and slightly gaze up at you.
Hands around his neck, you let your chin rest near his ear, "You dance like someone's grandpa."
You could only assume he scoffed as he moved his arms around and pushed you closer to his chest.
"That's how you're grandpa danced?"
You shrugged and let him move your hips to the beat, fingers lost in his hair. "Wouldn't know. He died before I was out, kicking and screaming for the last time in my life at my mom."
Levi shook his head at your words, used to your humour and thankful you couldn't see his smile as he put his forehead on your bare shoulder.
You found yourself forgetting about Eren for a while as Levi danced with you and touched your skin, fingers grazing sometimes over your back or spine.
Then he was lost to your mind altogether when Levi caught your eye and you tried to make sense of the look he was giving you.
Marleen said something about his stares, when you couldn't see him watching.
You wet your lips, and he watched your tongue swipe over the pierces. "What, Ackerman?"
He shrugged, "You hate lip glosses."
It was barely there after all the drinks, but the thin, shiny coat with that stupid glitter was noticable enough for Levi to glare at.
And you did, you did hate lip glosses when Levi's arms were around you like that and his hands didn't shy away at the feeling of your muscles like Eren once did, because, damn, what chick wants those abs?
"'m stupid, I know," you mumbled, head titled close to his ear, but he turned to look at you, not even dancing anymore as his mouth was so damn close to yours.
"Want me to buy you another lipstick? What was it, again? Rā€”"
You laughed, and Levi smelt the juice and whiskey on your breath. "Red, yeah. Still don't know how you found that shade, it was so nice, and I finished it too fast."
Levi smirked a little, "Told you, it's a secret. How else am I gonna surprise you?"
You felt him around you, too real, too much, it consumed you, steadily, as his eyes wondered around on your features.
"You surprise me anyway, Ackerman."
He wet his lips, then frowned, having to remind himself you weren't there for him, that you were in that position only because you were hurting again and because he was stupid and reckless andā€”
"Take it off, please?"
Levi searched your eyes, "What?"
"The gloss crap. Take it off, please."
Levi's breath hitched. "Are you sure?"
You looked down at his lips, "Help me a little, Levi."
Damn you. Damn you and your beautiful face, that irresistible body and that personality and the fact that it made him fall hard. So hard he couldn't deny you, even if it hurt him.
Because you were still hang on Eren, waiting and suffering, uselessly prolonging the inevitable everyone knew its end, but you.Ā 
But now you were in his arms and looking at him like he put the stars that formed those constellations you adored so much, on the sky.
Damn you, daā€”
He would never admit it hurt to press your lips to yours, to feel that cherry lip gloss first, then the punch as he probed at your mouth to get rid of that crap as you so nicely asked him to.
He hardly noticed how the pierces felt against his tongue, all lost to his mind as he gripped your hips tighter.
He would never admit it bothered him how your fingers played with his hair as you moved your face down and kissed him too roughly for his taste.
But it brought some satisfaction to glance over your shoulder at the shocked, angered Eren, his dance partner forgotten as he stared at his hands on your skin.
Good, it felt good. Even when Levi knew you would regret it the next day and go back to sulking over Eren.
But you brought his mouth back to yours and kept his face in your hands and made him ignore how much it hurt while he bruised your lips with too many kisses.
Levi tried to convince himself that things would finally be better, that it was the right move and he wasn't just a rebound. Maybe, if he kept telling himself that, he would believe it, too.
Even as you pecked his lips once, twice, stopped to gulp down breaths of air, like you just surfaced from water, like you've been drowning and finally, finally, you were free now.
But you stayed close, foreheads pressed against each other's while some stupid disco song started playing and Connie's excited yells surpassed even the stereo system.
You opened your mouth, and Levi wondered if he should be the first to say sorry.
"This is nice."
Flinching, you furrowed your brow and turned to look at Hange. They grinned, inches away from your face. Levi scoffed, and took one, two, fuck itā€”
He almost jumped away from you, putting space, almost making a statement. He glared at Hange.
"Is this our new secret handshake? I have to tell Erwin," they didn't wait, and you sighed as Hange bounced away to annoy Erwin for the millionth time that night.
You clicked your tongue, Hange forgot to tell you why they interrupted... Whatever that was with Levi, who was now rubbing his face in what you knew was annoyance.
Wetting your lips, and feeling no trace of cherry, made you feel worse than before.
"Right, I'mā€”"
Levi scoffed, hands back into his pockets as he already moved to walk past you. "Don't. I'm sure Jean would like to continue this."
You wondered why his words stung that much, because you were supposed to feel better after kissing someone. Because it was supposed to make you feel something else than sadness and constant self hatred.
Becauseā€”
Eren was making his way towards you, and Levi was already lost in the crowd before you could try to mend things. And say what, exactly? Nothing made sense anymore, your thoughts scattered all over the place becauseā€”
"What was that about?"
He was asking you, talking to you, and it didn't feel as good as you thought it would. Neither could bother to step aside, talk somewhere private, people still drinking and dancing around.
But why would Eren go somewhere private with you? It wasn't right. Nothing was feeling right as he glared down at you, at your swollen lips and flushed cheeks, that even the low light of the Christmas lights hanged around the walls couldn't hide.
"What?"
Sure, you were broken. Mind blank and fingers twitching to hold onto something.
Eren frowned, "What was that about, with Ackerman?"
You blinked at him. "I'm sorry?"
It wasn't the apology you almost shot at Levi earlier. You sounded too confused and shocked, even for you.
But nothing made sense and Eren was now fuming.
"Listenā€”"
And you were all years for him, straining yourself to hear him over the music and the crowd that pushed your bodies closer. All because you were used to this, dropping all doubts and latching onto Eren. Honestly, you couldnā€™t remember the last time he was that close to you, couldnā€™t comprehend the harsh reality.Ā 
He was there because it bothered him to lose his play toy, and you were too blind to see it, or anything else beside his eyes as he talked. Blinking, you allowed Eren to take you to the kitchen, something about another drink.Ā 
Levi was lost to you as Eren put his arm around your shoulders, barely keeping it there as he started talking about his classes and something his colleagues. You granted him your attention, all of it, never half hearted like he was with you most of the time.
Try all the time.
Because you were better, always so caring and welcoming for Eren to just pick and take whenever he pleased. But he was your friend, you cared too much about him to just let him go or ignore his needs. And he even left that pretty girl to talk with you. Surely, that must count as something.Ā 
ā€œWhereā€™s your lip gloss, hm?ā€ Eren inquired, watching you over the rim of his cup as you blinked, head titled to actually think about what he asked. Then,
ā€œOh, sorry. mustā€™ve worn off,ā€ you struggled to articulate the words, barely thinking them through, feeling small, almost lost under his stare for a moment. Eren smiled down at you, almost cynically, as he put his cup down and took your hand in his.Ā 
ā€œWant to dance?ā€
You nodded, faster than before, withā€”
It didnā€™t matter, not in that moment.
Assuring him it was alright, because every little thing was alright to you as long as it was Eren and his hand was taking yours, even if the hold was loose, barely there, like he was seconds away from letting it go.
81 notes Ā· View notes