#i listened to the grief album and then cried myself to sleep on the couch clutching one of the cats

[briamichellewrites]

10

Finally! Jeff approved the songs they recorded. They were enough for an album. His personal favorite was Mascara Tears, a beautiful ballad about love and loss. It was a simple song with only an acoustic guitar and backup vocals by Mike. The lyrics were written about the loss of her parents and her silent struggle with grief. Did she grieve her parents? Yes, though she preferred to do it alone. She attended their funeral, where she had to meet with people they worked with.

I wear my tears like mascara

I wasn’t there when you said goodbye

I hold out my hand, as I ask myself why

I saw you dancing in your summer dress

Down by the ocean, the waves crashing on the sand

You looked so beautiful with the moonlight in your eyes

Now those memories are all I have left

You gave me love

You gave me a home

Even when we were miles apart,

You made sure I was never alone

Some moments were harder than others. Sometimes she felt alone and she got angry at the man who hit them. He had taken them away from her. While recording, she broke down in tears. It was the first time she had cried since learning of their deaths over a year ago. She came out of the booth and apologized still crying. Mike got up and went over to her. He held her and told her to cry. She did. For fifteen minutes, she cried. She then sat down on the couch.

Brad pulled up a chair and placed it in front of her. Her eyes were red and her face was wet with tears. She wiped them away. He asked if that was the first time she had cried. It was the first time since she got the news. She had spoken to her father over a long-distance phone call. He and her mother were planning on visiting her.

She was so excited! Then, she was woken up in her dormitory by the headmaster. It was the middle of the night. She had her follow her to the office after she put on her robe and slippers. It was cold and her bed was nice and warm. That was the first thing she remembered. Her roommate was fast asleep. She was the kind of person who could sleep through the end of the world. When she got to the office, she was told about the accident and that her parents didn’t make it. It took her forever to cry.

The next day, they let her skip her classes so she could grieve. She stayed in bed the entire day. The school social worker came to check on her. She brought food for her to eat but all she wanted to do was sleep. After that, everything went back to normal. She was still required to do her homework and go to her classes. Why did they only give her twenty-four hours?

She didn’t know. Her schoolmates heard what happened and they helped her through her studies. They also made sure she ate. She thought about coming back home, but they talked her into staying. The reason why she finished the year was because of them. She wiped her face with her hands.

“It wasn’t your fault”, Brad said gently.

She nodded. “I know. It was his fault. I guess I should cry more often.”

“Cry as much as you want. There is zero shame in it. Even though we don’t know what you went through, we will always be here for you. You can get angry. You can cry. You can do whatever you need to. Nobody should hold their emotions inside because that’s not healthy. As long as you aren’t abusive. We will listen and help you”, Mike said.

“Thank you.”

The hospital emergency room. That was where Mike and Bria were getting treated for their injuries. Brad was a ball of anxiety. They had been hit by a driver under the influence. He rushed over to make sure they were okay. It happened so fast, that they didn’t have time to jump out of the way. She had been swept under the vehicle while he was thrown to the side of the street.

He had cuts and bruises but was otherwise unharmed. She had more injuries. Her leg was positioned unnaturally, making him think it was broken and her arm had tire marks. She was in extreme pain. He took the hand that wasn’t injured and held it, while he talked to her. She couldn’t do anything because she was in shock from the pain. Even though her chest wasn’t injured, she was having trouble breathing. She gasped for breath.

Paramedics treated her before placing her into the ambulance. At the hospital, they were both assessed before being treated. He had a head wound, so they were going to keep him overnight in case he developed any complications. If he had a concussion, they wanted to catch it before it caused any brain damage. He asked if he could call his girlfriend because she was expecting him home.

Bria was treated for shock. They then took an x-ray of her leg to determine what was broken. The imaging showed it was broken in multiple places. Her arm was also broken from being run over. Both were placed into casts. She was also given pain medication. They were in the same room, making it easier for Brad to go back and forth between them. Mike was not thinking about his injuries, he was more concerned about her. Even though he couldn’t get out of bed, he talked to her.

The driver? She was handcuffed to the hospital bed. Her blood had been taken to test for drugs. She was clearly under the influence of something. It made her unaware of what she had done. She was angry at the police and the medical staff because they wouldn’t let her leave. Once she was discharged, she would be taken to jail and booked. It would be a very long night for her.

Her body would be going through withdrawal from whatever she had taken. The police were still at the scene of the accident looking for evidence of what happened. They found evidence of drugs in her vehicle, along with drug paraphernalia.

Anna was a wreck of anxiety until she saw Mike and Bria. Oh, thank god! He hugged her and assured her he was okay. Bria was drugged up, so she was a little out of it. The accident was on the news. They didn’t release the names of the victims. Only the driver. Thirty-seven-year-old, Malisha Carter. She was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of narcotics, along with reckless driving and endangering others. Because of the severity of the case, she was not given bail.

The next morning, Mike was examined for symptoms of head trauma. He was then discharged. Bria was also discharged. She was given crutches to use to move around and she was taught how to use them. Until she got her casts removed, she was unable to drive.

Brad took her home and helped her inside. Woody was concerned about his human because she had been gone all night. Human, are you okay? He jumped up and climbed onto her lap. She used her good arm to pet him. He purred, hoping it would make her feel better. She told him she loved him, making Brad laugh. I love you too, human!

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[allieallie]

Lovely Life by allieallie

 A breeze of cold air puffed across a young woman standing on a balcony holding letter tightly she read:

Dearest Lovely, 

I am sorry to leave you this fine day, I am sorry I haven't told you about my condition earlier. I didn't want to see your sad face every time we saw each other. All I wanted was to live the rest of my days with you.

 I remember the day we first went up on stage together with our first-ever song. I played the guitar and you were singing, with the most angel-like voice, that is when I fell head over heels for you. Every time you called my name, I had a desire to hold you close and never let go. 

 All the memories we made, please cherish them. I shall say my last goodbye, 

Please let the other bandmates know I said goodbye.

With lots of love,

Ryan.

 A tear dropping with every word. Grief filled the clouds, turning them grey. As the light rain starts, masking the tears, the lady walks back into the house only to cry some more. 

After that, she wouldn’t leave the house, nor answer the door. Feeling depressed, she lied on her bed. She lit a cigarette, although she had never done so before. As the days went by, her health started declining. Her angelic voice had disappeared, now replaced with a raspy, hoarse one. She waited for her death to approach. 

***

An old lady jerks up from her sleep, taking deep uncontrollable breaths. Her heart ached from the nightmare. As she got out of the bed, she accidentally knocked the lamp off of the side table, making a loud thud. Moments later the elderly woman saw the door slowly creaking open, followed by a voice. Thinking no-one was home, she listened nervously.

-Miss Lovely! is everything okay?

Relieved that it was only her nurse, Nila, she replied:

-Oh sorry dear, I accidentally knocked off the lamp.

The girl walks over and picks up the object in question and she asks:

-Is everything alright? You seem a bit upset.

-Oh, don't worry, I just had another silly dream. Everything is alright- Miss Lovely smiled, attempting to avoid the subject.

- Is it? You can tell me, I know you aren’t telling the truth.

- Alright I suppose I should. I- - Miss Lovely sighed - I had an unpleasant dream about my past. Years ago, I was- - She gulped, but couldn’t bring herself to continue, tears already running down her face.

- Oh, I am so sorry miss Lovely - Nila replied feeling guilty for making the old lady reminisce such a thing.- I didn't know.

- It's not your fault, it's now in the past anyway. -The elderly woman said forcing a smile to lighten up the mood.

 They sat in silence before, a knock at the front door was heard. Nila left to check who it was and Lovely stood up to get changed. A few minutes later she entered the living room and saw someone familiar sitting on the couch. The stranger glimpsed at her, noticing someone walk in, and stood up excitedly after realizing who it was:

-Lovely! Long time no see! How you been!?

-Tylor is that you?- Lovely said, in surprise.

-Yes, indeed. Is something the matter?

-Well, you look older.- Lovely said with a mocking tone.

-I could say the same to you.

Tylor used to play the bass guitar in Lovely’s band, called Moon. His signature move was the slap and a killer smile. However, the band did not last long, and they split with everyone going their merry way. He later became a successful businessman by selling his bass solo.

-I have not seen the whole town yet, maybe you could show me around? - Tylor asked as he had only arrived the day before.

-Sorry, I cannot at the moment. I have duties to tackle. - Lovely said, already drained by the idea of working.

- Oh! I can help you out and in return, you could show me around. - Tylor suggested enthusiastically.

The duties involved collecting apples and mushrooms from the forest nearby. While they were on the way, Lovely pulled out her photo album, which she had brought along, and recalled the fun memories they had while the band hadn’t yet disbanded.

-Hey, I remember that! - Tylor exclaimed, pointing at a photograph - This was our first ever performance. I remember sliding to the front of the stage on my knees to look cool and fell off!- Tylor chuckled -You guys were so mad, and later we all laughed about it.

Lovely chuckled, flipping through more pages until they opened the page where a letter was. Lovely's eyes dropped as her bright smile disappeared. Only with a glimpse of the page, Tylor knew it was about Ryan. Ryan was a former bandmate and Lovely's significant other who passed 42 years ago. Ryan wrote the letter and placed it in her memory book before passing away from cancer. Lovely never knew he was sick so it was devastating news to her and even now she cries remembering him.

 The two former bandmates walk along a path, collecting mushrooms when Lovely sees a large patch of daisies not far from where they stood so she decides to explore it. She walks over with Tylor still following, telling her about recent events in his life when they stumble upon an old fountain, which was still running. There was a bench right next to it, so they sat down for a break. As lovely places, the open photo album next to her on the bench, Ryan’s letter gets carried away by the wind and into the fountain. Tylor noticing this exclaims:

-The letter! Lovely quick take it out!

Lovely instantly turns around and sees what he had been shouting about and reaches in. Tylor also trying to retrieve the letter, tries to grab it but they both fall in.

Lovely breaking the water surface takes a deep breath but the letter was nowhere to be found. She shouts at Tylor to see if he got it but instead sees a much younger version of him. He was getting out, his clothing all wet turns to her, and is in complete awe. She has long brown locks, clear pale skin, and much taller than she used to be. The same could be said for him. He has better posture, a skinnier face, and mid-length black hair. 

-What happened to you? -Lovely says in surprise.

-What? Are we young again? - Tylor cries, touching his clear and unwrinkled face.

-Is this a dream? -The brunette questions, looking at her friend.

-I don’t know but we have to head back - He replies.

They both walk the usual route, but upon seeing the town their jaws drop. All of the new shops, roads, and buildings aren’t there. They kept looking around the town when they see a young and a very much alive Ryan walking towards them. He still had his curly blond hair and mesmerizing green eyes. Lovely couldn’t keep her emotion to herself so she ran at him and hugged him to make sure.

-You’re here!? - She exclaimed, in happiness and confusion.

-Of course, I am. We were supposed to meet here. -Ryan says cluelessly while returning the hug.

-This can’t be real - Tylor says, rubbing his eyes. Ryan looking concerned at him.

- Why is it a surprise to you guys, was I supposed to be assassinated or something? - The blond jokes, but soon realized the others found it in poor taste so he laughed it off.

The bassist took Lovely by her arm and dragged her back to the fountain and Ryan followed in confusion. When they got to where the fountain was supposed to be they only saw the bench and Tylor noticed their clothes were no longer wet.

-What is this? Where’s the fountain? - He said in shock, looking over to the couple. Lovely had an ill face but didn’t let her boyfriend see it to avoid his concern.

-What do you mean? There was never a fountain here -Ryan explained still not understanding their weird behavior.

-We should get back. By the way, what day is it today?- The girl said breaking the silence.

-It’s October 2nd, why? 

- 1976? - Tylor continued

- Um, yes. Are you guys feeling okay?- The boyfriend asks and remembers - Oh also I haven’t told you this yesterday but I got us a gig at Jerico’s. And we’re performing tonight!

-That’s awesome! - Lovely says in an excited voice.

Later that night after the performance Ryan and Lovely shared an intimate moment backstage, where he told her just how much he loved her and how much he wanted to live long enough to get old together. At that moment she realized how he was hinting at his sickness and she never bothered to give his words too much thought.

*-Ryan, I love you, no matter what happens in the future. - Lovely said holding back her tears as they embrace in a hug.*

 The morning after she receives a call from Ryan’s mother telling her he passed away. She was so devastated at the news, even though she knew he would die that night. Her heart ached but she remembered the photo album and how he was supposed to slip the letter in. She rushed to her bookshelf and went through it, in hopes it was already there but she couldn’t find it. No matter how many times she checked, it wasn’t there. Out of the worry that she had done something different for history to go wrong she called Tylor and explained her frustration. He invited her over and they talked.

-It can’t be right! The letter must have been there - Lovely cried.

-Calm down, we’ll figure this out - Tylor said, reassuring her.

-The letter is real right? I had it for so many years it has to be. You saw it too right?-She exclaimed waiting for an answer, to make sure she wasn’t imagining all of this. 

-Yes, It did exist - The bassist said, not being able to push out another word

-Are we in an alternate universe where he decided not to write the letter?-She questioned, to a point where she was driving herself insane.

-Lovely stop - He paused- I wrote the letter

-What? No, but I was sure it was Ryan. - She said with a sour expression - Why would you do that to me, lie for all these years? I thought you cared about me!

-I do and that’s why I wrote it. When I found out how much and how hard you’ve been grieving over him. It broke my heart. I was sad that he couldn’t say goodbye to you. So I dropped it off in your photo album while I was visiting a few days after. I wrote it so you wouldn’t think he didn’t love you -He said desperately trying to explain myself. 

-He didn’t love me? - She whispered through the tears, with her lips trembling.

-What? That’s not what I said - He said, shaking his head.

-Yes it is! You said, “So you wouldn’t think he didn’t love you”!- She shouted, her face turning red.

-I didn’t mean it like that! You know he loved you. He said “I love you” to you every day, every chance he got! -He barked not being able to keep his temper.

Lovely stood up and left without a word and Tylor was left, regretting telling her about the letter. Now he had to prove to her that Ryan really did love her.

Two days later Ryan’s mother invites Tylor to their house for dinner because she knew he was one of Ryan’s best friends and that his death might have affected them in a bad way. After his arrival, he roams around the house looking for a bathroom and sees an office room. He walks in and sees a lone desk and chair.  He sits down on the office chair and looks around his table. He notices a drawer and opens it out of curiosity. It had a box inside it. Just as he does so Ryan’s mother walks in and Tylor jumps up from the chair.

-Oh, I knew you’d get lost - She says -The bathroom is actually that way -She points in a different direction.

-Thank you, I was just looking at this - Tylor says pulling the box out of the drawer

- I didn’t know Ryan was going to propose so soon. Did he tell you about the ring?- She asked, the smile never leaving her face.

-The ring?-He says in confusion but soon realizes she’s talking about an engagement one- Ah yes he did, he wanted to propose to Lovely, right? -He said in hopes that it was actually for Lovely and that he didn’t have a secret mistress who he loved more.

-Yes, what an amazing girl she is - She begins before she hears the kitchen timer ring- Ooh, sounds like dinner’s ready! Don’t forget to wash your hands- She continues and leaves.

Now that Tylor had sufficient evidence to prove to Lovely that Ryan truly loved her, he needed to get her to see it. He knew it was risky but he shoved the ring in his pocket anyway and went back to being a guest. After dinner, he came over to Lovely’s house and knocked on the door. She didn’t answer.

-Lovely, listen I know you can hear me. I have proof that he really loved you! - Tylor shouted loud enough for Lovely to hear him from her open window. She knew nothing could bring her mood back up but she decided to listen to him. She opened the door.

-What is it?- She said in a monotone voice.

-See this? It’s an engagement ring. He wanted to marry you - He said proudly.

-Why do you spend so much money on something you can’t fix! - She cried in disbelief, for him to go this far with a lie.

-I didn’t buy it. I found it at his house!- He exclaimed, trying to prove himself

-His mother is staying there, I visited her the other day. She would have told me! - She shouted.

-Fine just keep this, for me -He couldn’t do anything else so he gave up. 

He handed her the ring box and waited for her to open it when he realized he didn’t actually check if there was anything inside. Lovely looked at it and opened waiting to be disappointed. Much to her surprise, it was nothing she ever expected, it wasn’t even a ring. It was a small rose gold chain necklace, which she mentioned she liked when she and Ryan went window shopping once. Her face lost the heavy expression which she had been wearing during the whole ordeal. Tylor still couldn’t see what was in the box, so he assumed it was empty; he waited to be shouted at or have the door slam against his face, instead he felt Lovely hug him. She held onto him.

-I’m sorry -She whispered, as Tylor hugged her back, not saying a word. 

After letting go of each other, they walked back to the bench and sat down.

-I guess this is it -Lovely began- We relive our lives all over again.

-At least I know my Bass-solo is going to be a success -Tylor laughed and Lovely smiled to herself.

The sun was setting and they both sat in complete silence. Lovely looked down and noticed a small patch of daisies. She picked one up and rolled it’s stem with her fingers, inspecting it. “No matter how much I beat myself over him, he won’t come back. Learning to move on is part of growing. Instead of grieving over someone’s death, I shouldn't wait for mine. I should live my life to the fullest. That's what Ryan would have wanted for me. I should embrace and celebrate what others aren't fortunate enough to have for long ”.

[sashaskyward]

“...and you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair...”

I posted something yesterday, on Facebook, as did many of you probably. As the day went on and I started to process everything a little more, I realized that that one paragraph post doesn't do it justice. That one paragraph post doesn't say what I want to say. It doesn't even come close. So I'm making this post. I know it's going to be long. If you talk to anyone who regularly talks to me then you know this is actually just par for the course when I get to think and write my words down rather than just speak them. Maybe no one will read the entire thing. But I'm hoping that maybe at least one person does. And maybe they hurt too. We can grieve together.

I heard the news yesterday before it was confirmed by anyone in the band. A lot of people were posting about it and posting songs and I was crying but I didn't fully believe it. I kept telling myself that it was a hoax, that I needed to wait for confirmation.

I can't even describe the noise I made when I saw Mike Shinoda's tweet confirming it. I think it might've been the most agonizing noise I've ever made. A sob that was held so much devastation and despair. My mom held me and cried with me as I sobbed harder than I ever have in my entire life. I sobbed so hard that I thought I was going to throw up.

I don't remember the first Linkin Park song I ever heard. I don't remember who it was that got me into them. That's how long ago it was. I know I was still in the single digits age-wise though. I don't remember if it was my neighbor playing Crawling for me and us listening to it. It was most likely my brother though. One of the perks of having a brother seven years older is that I got to listen to the good music at a VERY young age. Linkin Park is one of those bands. He gave me the most exposure to them.

Hybrid Theory was unlike anything I'd ever heard before. I loved it. I wasn't exposed to much rapping growing up and there was something about the singer's voice that I fell in love with. The hybrid (see what I/they did there?) between rock and rap was something that my little brain hadn't even considered possible. I have a distinct memory of sitting in my neighbor's room and begging him to play Crawling over the stereo one more time.

Back then the only reason I went online was for Neopets and playing games and I didn't really grasp what the internet could do. So I didn't really know when Meteora came out. I do remember hearing it, somewhere, again probably though my brother, and immediately recognizing the voice. That ferocious voice that I could pick out anywhere. That mixture of rock and rap that I craved. Even if I didn't listen to LP nearly as much back then, I knew it was them. And my love for the band grew with that CD.

I asked for Minutes to Midnight for Christmas in 2007. I was 14 years old and for some reason didn't buy it myself when it came out. I patiently waited for Christmas and my parents got it for me. It was different than the first two but still felt like Linkin Park to me. It felt more evolved. It felt more grown up. Like the band had taken time off to grow, similar to how I grew up a little. As grown up as a 14 year old could be anyway. I fell in love with that CD too.

In 2010, at 17 years old, I remember the band releasing little puzzles for the fans to solve. I remember translating binary and opening whatever free editing software I had and trying to figure out how to edit pictures that were posted and refreshing the two biggest fanpages over and over again to try and figure out answers as to what was going on. This was the lead up to the announcement of A Thousand Suns. I had a feeling that this CD would be different. It was. In my eyes, A Thousand Suns is a masterpiece. It's my favorite CD. The story it tells, the way the songs flow, the music. I adore that CD.

2012 was LIVING THINGS (as much as I hate the all caps phase they went through, it is what it is) and it was kind of a revisit to the old style. But with the new style mixed in.

2014 was The Hunting Party and at first I wasn't a fan of this CD. And it scared me. I listened to it and just sorta shrugged and moved on. Looking back on it, 2014 was a weird year for me. I was at my lowest point in life. My mom was diagnosed with cancer that year and I think part of me just didn't want anything to do with anything for most of that year. I fought that year, harder than I ever have. I stayed positive though. I listened to LP and their older CDs and it helped. It helped quell the crippling fear that I held in my heart. (Unrelated note: mom is doing great if anyone was wondering.)

I listened to The Hunting Party again in either late 2014 or early 2015. Really listened to it. That's when I fell in love with that CD. A Line in the Sand is one of my favorite LP songs and it's from that CD. I listen to it regularly with the rest of their discography.

When the song Heavy was released earlier this year my first reaction, like many others, was confusion. The song got stuck in my head though and I gave it a chance. I listened to it over and over again and without even realizing fell in love with it. I'd tell people that it was catchy and I didn't know if I liked it or not as I was listening to it for tenth time in a row that day. Safe to say that I liked the song.

One More Light was released and I love that CD. I don't care if it's pop songs. I don't care if it's different than everything they've done. But that's what they do, isn't it? They change things up every CD and that's one of the reasons I love them. I don't get bored.

I knew the song One More Light would make me cry. Before I even heard the song, just hearing the band describe it, I knew I would cry. And the band played it live before the release of the CD and I remember laying in bed at 2 in the morning sobbing because that song was just so sad. It was a song that hurt.

And when the CD was released I listened to the album version and just cried. My parents were \on the couch three feet away from me, confused and all I could do was wave my hands around and say “I knew this song would make me cry. I knew it.” and cry harder because for some reason, even though I'd never really felt strong grief before, it hurt. The song hurt me and I somehow connected to it even though I had no real reason to. I've had family members pass away and I get sad when I think about it. I've had people I look up to and inspire me pass away and I cry because they affected my life but just this one song made me feel so much more than that.

Linkin Park is so much more than just a band to me. Over the years I've gone through phases with bands. Linkin Park is one band that I never had a phase with. It was never a phase. It was always there. I always found myself going back to then. When I didn't want to listen to anything else, I'd listen to LP. When I was angry at the world or sad or happy or any emotion at all I would find myself back with LP. Listening to them. Absorbing the music and the lyrics.

I can say with certainty that I grew up with this band and it helped shape me into who I am today. It shaped my musical tastes into what it is today. It broadened my horizons.

There are so many songs I want to share. So many videos. Lyrics. Memories I have with this band that changed my life so much. I didn't though. Mostly because I couldn't process what was really going on.

I have more Linkin Park music on my laptop than any other band. No other band even comes close. No other band even touches the amount of LP I have. I have their main albums and demos and live versions of songs and different versions of the same song where there are only minuscule differences but because it's different I had to have it. Over the years I've scoured the internet for ANYTHING I could find from this band. I don't even have everything. Right now I can think of quite a few things that I don't even have yet because I've just been too lazy to download the songs.

This band has gotten me through the best and worst parts of my life. And will continue to get me through life. I will never stop listening to this band. I will never stop listening to Chester Bennington's voice. His voice and his words will follow me for the rest of my life and I will cherish what I have from it.

It's safe to say that I've never felt grief this hard. I didn't know Chester Bennington. I wish I could say I met him and got to thank him for everything but I haven't. And I never will. August 5th was when I was supposed to get my chance to see them live. To get to hear this monster of a voice in person. But I won't get that. I'll never get that. And I'm jealous of all the people who have.

Chester Bennington was so much more than just a singer to me. The way they treat their fans made me feel like I was a part of something. Like I was part of a family rather than just a fan of a band.

I'm devastated. That's a pretty good word for what I'm feeling right now. That and agony. And I'm grieving. And it hurts so much. I want it to stop hurting but I know it isn't going to. Not for a while.

Chester Bennington was a legend. His voice and his passion and his music changed so many lives for the better. It changed music. I don't think there will ever be a voice to match his. There are others who are just as distinguishable but none like his. None that will ever touch me the way his has. I can pick his voice out anywhere.

I woke up this morning and for a split second thought it was all a nightmare. But I didn't even have to look at my phone or anything to realize that it wasn't. The splitting headache that I had and the immediate burning in my eyes told me everything. The fact that I was wide awake at 6AM after only two hours of sleep told me everything. The hole in my chest told me that it was all real. Every terrifying and painful part of it was real.

I'm listening to the band right now. I'm crying all over again (I say that as if I haven't been crying since we got the news). I hope Chester finally found peace. I just wish he found that peace here with us. I keep going back to fansites and reading posts that people are making and someone said something that struck a chord in me. Something that summed everything up in such a short and perfect way that I started sobbing all over again:

“One saved millions, but millions couldn't save the one.”

RIP Chester Bennington. I'm gonna miss you so damn much.

“Remember you're loved and you always will be. This melody will bring you right back home.”