#i like this a lot i hope tumblr doesn't demolish the quality too much

[boimann]

emesis bloo medic

[oozmium]

Ranking the smt ivf collab Cafe as someone who will never have the chance to taste it ft. probably inaccurate translations of their names

Part 1 featuring the actual meals because I forgot tumblr has an image limit

1. "Godslayer" Meat Platter

We got steamed chicken and duck meat with some salsa and salad... that sounds yummy but man idk why but this just looks so unappetizing. I mean at least I can stomach duck though so I'd totally be open to eating this. But also it doesn't look like a sizable portion so hm.

6/10: presentation kills this meal sorry Nanashi

2. Dagda's Large Fried Rice

Good god this is a lot of rice... I'd imagine this would pair well with Nanashi's meal. Looks like a nice batch of fried rice but I have to take points off for the overkill on the sesame seeds... I want my rice not seeds... though apparently the seeds are inspired by Dagda's color scheme so huh.

7/10: it's rice. Too much seeds. I'd complain it's a big portion but the famitsu article notes this is meant for 2-3 people so that's fair.

3. 阿修羅会御用達 悪ピザ (tls to smth along the lines of Ashura-Kai Purveyor Pizza?? I didn't trust the machine tl so I'm putting the kanji)

Now this is something I'd definitely eat. A nice piece of pizza bread will always make me happy. The famitsu article notes that this was the meal most recommended by reporters.

There is one other thing to note about this one: it's meant to be split between two or three people! ... like Hallelujah and his "Bro".... 😦

10/10: I'm not immune to pizza bread and reporters really liked it so I'm sure it was delicious

4. Asahi's Energetic and Healthy Coriander Salad

This one is really cute, although I have to admit I've never tried coriander but there's a first for everything! The flower is a very cute touch too, but I'm a picky guy so the peppers are a bit of an ick for me... I can't eat them in salad it needs to be put in stuff like a sandwich for me to eat it.

7/10: unsure on if this would be tasty but the presentation really sells it!

5. Flynn a la Mode (aka Furin a la Mode)

Ooo now this is a yummy looking dessert! Would absolutely demolish it (sorry Flynn).

They said the pun was unintentional; instead the idea was everyone's beloved Flynn wanted to make a dessert everyone loves (I hope I'm reading that correctly 🥺)

9/10: I'd give it a 10/10 (and it really deserves one) but I'm very picky on those extra gummies surrounding the pudding...

6. Jonathan's Grilled Beef Tongue

Er. Apparently chosen for Jonathan for its elegant and luxurious taste ... anyway this looks very yummy and it gets extra points for the kewpie mayo 🤤. The onions are a nice touch too... guess I have to concede and agree this is really elegant!

9/10: I've never tried tongue personally but the kewpie mayo would be enough to get me on board with eating it.

7. Father's Fisherman's Meal

They want you to think Walter's dad caught the fish that went into this meal... I laughed a bit ngl. Anyway I'm always down for poke-esque meals I guess it'd come down to the quality of the meat 🤔 though the amount of fish in there might leave me wanting more...

6/10: unsure if I want to give this higher bc I don't personally know how the fish tasted... also could use more fish.

8. Fairy Forest Mushrooms

Maybe they're not appetizing to you but I absolutely LOVE mushrooms. They're so yummy to me and especially when you add some nice butter for extra flavor... mmm very yummy 🤤.

8/10: I'm biased I like eating mushrooms I'd devour this in a heartbeat

9. Gaston's Long Skewer Platter

This was the 2nd funniest item on the menu (you'll see the funniest one soon). Other than that, skewers are always tasty with some soy sauce and lemon for extra flavoring... although apparently it was a guessing game to discover what was inside the skewer?

7/10: unsure if i wanna play skewer roulette with Gaston 😦