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#i like it when bad things happen. i like to suffer with them actually :)
thewrothode-if · 2 days
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Uhh, small rant about your characters?
So...
MC's dad went through great emotional suffering when his wife died, and he let his pain manifest into anger towards MC.
MC went through great emotional suffering when their dad started acting like he hates them, and they let their pain manifest into anger towards gungir.
MC didn't make their mom go crazy, they had no control over their mom's behavior.
Gungir didn't make MC's dad start treating them so coldly, he also had no control over MC's dad's behavior.
Both MC and their dad went through something that was emotionally damaging to them, and they both coped the same way, by directing the pain outwards at a different person who actually had no control over the situation.
So, MC didn't cause their mom to go crazy, and Gungir didn't cause MC's dad to start treating MC like trash, but both of them get blamed for it anyway.
The parallels between MC and their dad are just delicious, especially a more angry MC.
The irony is that the reason why MC hates their dad is because of something that they themself are *also* guilty of. MC hates that their dad unfairly puts the blame on them for something they can't control, but at the same time, MC unknowingly does the exact same thing to gungir.
Maybe both the MC and their dad unconsciously have the mindset that they NEED to cope by blaming someone else for the bad things that happened to them, because if they COULDN'T blame it on someone else anymore then all the pain would be directed back inwards at themselves and it would just tear them apart.
The angst is delicious is all I have to say is: Like father, like child.
It's so fascinating how MC doesn't realize they're essentially doing the same thing to other people that their dad does to them.
I think if one person pointed it out in-game, how MC is basically acting like Dad 2.0, then that would be my character's major "Oh shit" moment and it would be the push I would need to do self reflection. Because it would be a huge realization for MC, and obviously I don't WANT to be like my dad, so that would be the turning point where I would notice the flaws in my own behavior.
Also is völva pronounced like vulva because I keep reading it like "she's the vulva of her village."
I was scared this rant was going to be negative and I'm very glad it's not. 😭🙏
There definitely will be a scene where Gungir confronts you with the mistreatment he dealt with, even daring to compare you to your father. This will be a very dramatic scene especially if you're doing his romance. How you choose to respond will either make or break your chance of romancing him though, so be careful.
And I feel like if you say völva enough, it will start to sound like vulva so I'm sure you're pronouncing it right, but seeing it switched out with the actual word makes it look so funny.
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timeisacephalopod · 10 months
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The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
#winters ramblings#seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have#to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God??#what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power??#these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want#perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no#if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao#not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion#have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians#wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole#which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist#doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because#believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop#so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know#temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy#like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems??#youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian#of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem#its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad#because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem#because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people#and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their#religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what#morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about#it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right#can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts#who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand#maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!
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jascurka · 7 months
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Contrary to popular belief, I actually like the fact that my beloved blorbos suffer. I may do comics about healing and so on but I'm there for the suffering. In fact, I wish my blorbo suffered more. Can I get one more suffer for my blorbo please? He can take it.
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dimensionzero · 1 year
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anyway every spider-man in the multiverse is alone except for miles. can anybody hear me
#every spiderman starts out thinking theyre the only one#every spiderman learns the lesson that theyre only one person and they cant save everyone#every spiderman grits their teeth and keeps going in face of tragedy#every spiderman learns about the multiverse and when they realize there are other people like them#they pass on their own trauma in a cycle --- this happened to me and it had to happen so that this good thing could also happen#which means that this terrible thing has to happen to you too#thats their universal truth: they cant save everyone alone so they need to maximize their influence to save as many as they can#but miles? miles morales is the spiderman who got bit already knowing who spiderman was#miles is the spiderman who had six different spider-mentors help him come into his own#miles is the only spiderman whose introductory monologue ends with 'and im not the only one'#miles is the one who looks at all these people whove decided they Have to suffer alone and says#'ok but what if i helped you'#'what if instead of taking the good with the bad we still got the good but stopped the bad anyway'#'sure i can't save everyone alone but the whole goddamn point of the multiverse is that im not the only one'#and thats why miles is our hero#across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse spoilers#(tiny amendment actually: miles is actually not the only spider who knows hes not alone right from the beginning#atsv also introduces us to pavitr --- a member of the spider society whos even more of a rookie than miles is#and huh whaddya know: the kid who knew from the start that he wasnt alone is the one whose traumatic 'canon event' is stopped#in a joint effort between him and his friends#yeah that probably isn't foreshadowing or anything)
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widevibratobitch · 5 months
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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medicinemane · 2 months
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Really really don't get why so many people seem to have this burning hatred for Ukraine where they'll just... bring them up randomly purely to drag them through the mud and it's like... ok... but... do you actually know a single thing about Ukraine or what's been happening there?
Do you for instance remember when a major dam was destroyed by russia causing massive ecological damage?
Like I'm dead serious here, can you tell me a single thing that's happened in Ukraine in the last 2 years? Can you in any way demonstrate any basic understanding of the situation?
Cause if not... why do you think you should have an opinion on it, especially if your opinion is gonna be how awful people getting bombed are?
Just legit bothers me and... even more so bothers me the number of smart and caring people I see doing this. Basically I'm not even trying to be rude here, I'm trying to remind you to pay attention and remember that not everything you read on the internet is true, a tumblr post isn't a source unless they're giving you a reputable source
Cause like me? I can go track you down articles about the Nova Kakhovka dam being destroyed, and I can talk about all the reason why it's pretty clear that russia destroyed it
Can you do the same for me? Can you back up your claim about Ukraine with something concrete?
In many ways I'm not even asking you to support Ukraine, I get we have a limit to how much we can focus on, it's ok if you focus on your cause and I focus on mine and... both of us giving our undivided attention, maybe we both make some small impact on the world
What I'm asking is you don't be an asshole for no reason. You don't need to throw Ukraine under the bus. Don't you think your cause stands up on it's own two feet?
And again I'm not Ukrainian, I don't know as well as someone there, though... I spare you a lot of the stuff that crosses my dash because I don't want to burn people out with horrible stuff, but please understand it's worse than you probably think
So no, not Ukrainian, but I'll tell you why I'm still worth listening to: I've followed this every day since the invasion began. I keep my ear to the ground. I do know a fair bit and again can back what I have to say up
Anyway, my plea is to just not be a dick to people for no reason. The correct number of bombed civilians is zero, that's my stance
#still fucking haunts me the video of this zoo keeper just crying as she films the flooded zoo#and you can just hear all the animals screaming in terror as they slowly drown#and... there... there just wasn't anything anyone could do#the water was coming up too fast... they didn't have time... they didn't have the equipment to move them#it was really only the birds that survived cause they at least could fly away when their enclosures were opened#I really do mean haunt; like... the second I think about it... just kind of gnaws at my insides#and that's just one video of one thing from one event#anyway; to pivot slightly; not that I want to call everything I disagree with russian propaganda#but there's various stuff I can point to and draw a pretty solid line between it and russian propaganda I think#as in; if I popped open sputnik right now I think there's a fair chance I'd find an article on it#...like the biolabs thing; that one I literally did that with and guess who was spreading it? the literal propaganda site#like man... you're smart; you're so brilliant... why on earth are you falling so hook line and sinker for this stuff?#Ukraine ain't your enemy man#where as russia; again I can draw a direct line between them and say... the suffering of the Iranian people#between russia and the election results in Venezuela; to my understanding russia literally has ships off the coast right now#and it's a fact putin congratulated maduro despite there being a number of issues#such as... the total percentages released by the government totaling 109%#listen man; I'm not stupid; I'm susceptible to propaganda too; you think I don't know that?#but I can at least show my work and I can at least explain my motivation and I can at least lay it all bare#maybe I'm wrong... maybe#hard for me to think I am when I see hospitals being bombed... kinda tend to think the people who do that are bad#(and why... why do people keep making it a pissing match instead of saying 'it's bad no matter where it happens'?)#but maybe I'm wrong... at least I can walk you through why I'm coming to the conclusion I am#and just fuck me... all I want is a world where no one's getting blown to bits for the crime of being alive#do you actually have any grasp of geopolitics?#not as in like... this or that theory or some bullshit about why america good; america bad; whatever#I mean can you actually draw a line between things happening around the world and tell me how they relate?#like... can you talk about India in relation to other countries; can you talk about Modi's politics?#(I can't stand Modi and I think I have some pretty good reasons such as his treatment of the Muslim minority; he's a nationalist)#can you talk at all about Turkey; or Armenia and Azerbaijan?
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tenok · 3 months
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#the thing is. you should believe survivors#also my ex after we broke up tried to go to half of our mutual friend and tell them horrifying stories of abuse he was dealing with#it wasn't even planned smearing campain (I don't think it's his style). he was truly hurt. some things really di happened. some even#happened the way he told it. and some were blowed to 'I went to work with bruises every day' (he was grabbed by hand by other partner once#and had bruises because he was so white-skinned he bruised like from touch)#or how I forced him to live with other man that hated him and turned his life to hell (he forgot to mention that it was my disabled brother#he flew away from our abusive mother as soon as he turned 18 and I gave him shelter. after asking partners to consider this seriously#because it's big commitment. I also stated several times that I'm willing to move out with him if it's unpleasant. also this 'living hell'#was him ignoring my partner completely after he yelled on him several times because as he said he didn't ran away from home#to suffer yelling again)#so yeah. it didn't work that time because my friend actually know everything from me long before my ex came to them#they nodded politely and never talked to him again#but it lingers. and it majes me look really critically at any call out or accusation.#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness#it sounds like girl had a horrifying experience. it also looks like she kept illusion of being fully on board and loving it.#was it believably? or he just didn't care#did he pick her because she was young and inexperienced? or because she told him she's interested in bdsm?#did he tried to help her when she was in bad place? or was he calculatingly buying her silence?#was he creepy or was he awkward?#honestly I don't know even... what kind of proofs you can get there#like we have her statement. we have objective thing — texts and vids. we can have Gaiman own statement#so what if he will repeat what stated in messages: it was consensual she literally wrote what she want me to do etc#believe survivors. what if everything she told is true too. but also what in messages are true too#what if she was scared and hurt and also told him yes and more and please master. because people are complicated#would he accused of not reading her mind? would there be charges on not checking enough. HOW WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT#like it's all is ne genuinely trying to understand what's next and how it could be wrapped at all#for the record: even if it was absolutely 💯 consensual and girl like completely lying about everything etc#he's still clearly fucked up and things were messy for a lot of reasons. it's bad!#but there's difference between 'it was rape or coercion' and 'it was poorly planned affair and he should've be more considerate of partners#feelings'. and in any way. hope that girl gets help
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isfjmel-phleg · 2 years
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🤐
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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My routine was interrupted today ;-;
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dogbunni · 2 years
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chronic pain off the shits rn I wish I could talk openly about what is happening to me without it being triggering/taboo
#insane how i can be suffering through something but cant verbalise it without bothering others#like but im actually experiencing it though?????#dykwim#it would make everyone else uncomfortable so the social protocol is Suffer In Silence#im not talking abt others whove been through it and could be actually triggered to be clear#bc im pretty sure that if youve been there then a trigger warning would be enough#im talking about everyone else who hasnt been through these specific things who would make their discomfort my fault and my problem#etc etc#sometimes its okay to sit with your discomfort especially if it deepens your understanding of marginalised people around you#not everything has to be comfortable and palatable some things are SUPPOSED to be uncomfortable to hear/read/see#and that doesnt always mean that those things are bad and wrong and evil#also if a kid is old enough for unsupervised internet access theyre old enough to learn about difficult topics#it will help them become a well informed well rounded and compassionate individual#anyway#autocorrect is saving my fucking life you guys have no idea how hard spelling is rn#i dont have the wherewithal to deal with someone saying something negative if i share this very painful experience im having rn#safe to say i am triggering MYSELF#and that in itself i could go on and on abt how that proves that sometimes smth WILL trigger you#and it is not the end of the world when that happens#you will deal with it like all difficult things#nd if you are strong enough to go through ordeals that led to having trigger responses you are strong enough to get through being triggered#like you WILL make it i promise#and sometimes its not anyones fault that you were triggered#its certainly not my fault that i am being triggered by something outside my control even if that thing is my own body#dont know what im saying anymore im too scattered mentally#i hope no one takes any of this the wrong way
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beatbawksradio · 1 month
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slán
#i think im done actually. i think im gonna throw in the towel#i dont think this is working out for me#i think the world of the online public is just too hostile. too violent. too uncaring#i dont belong here. i wasn't built for this world. its not ready for someone like me and I'm not ready for it#the internet is a world where human interaction is filtered through words on a screen. what kind of interaction is that#you cant see how you affect people. you don't know what people are going through. you can only judge by the words they let you see#that's not how humans were meant to exist. we're meant to see each other. care for each other. feel each others suffering and support#but that doesnt happen here. this world is designed for those who thrive behind a mask. those not afraid to hurt others who take theirs off#and anytime someone does take off the mask. the reaction is to twist anything they say or do into how theyre actually bad#everytime i post in public i worry about that. how is this going to be purposefully misinterpreted. how is this going to be used against me#how are the people who hate me going to use this to further make even more people who don't know me hate me#and that's not healthy!! that's paranoia!! mental illness!! im putting the symptoms of my abuse on display and it only hurts me more#no one cares about caring though. its all about how this person just wants more attention than everyone else. they just wanna be special#i can tell people i don't wanna see g*ns and theyll act like im a baby for it. i tell them ive had my life threatened & they think I'm lying#bc that's what you do on the internet. you don't trust people. you don't validate them. you abandon them when they're opening up#bc all you see is a screen and not how the person is actually reacting in real life to these things. its just words#and if anyone comes along trying to just be a nice person. then its either “they must not actually be nice and I'm gonna expose them”#or they just get abused by the people not afraid to abuse nice people. its all the same. there's always another war. peace doesn't exist#violent people arent afraid to be violent. they're not afraid to hurt someone getting in their way. peaceful people dont stand a chance#the only way to survive the game is to not play the game. find a pocket somewhere and stop existing to the world.#thats the only way to make everyone happy when everyone hates you. there is no redemption. this is the land of careless wolves#and I'm just a rabbit telling the wolves to stop being wolves. of course ill be killed. that's what happens to rabbits#so i hope all the people still reading this who used me as entertainment or as a stepping stone for their own manipulation are happy#ill be gone. i won't be here anymore. i won't be something that you ever need to think about anymore. you can go ahead and celebrate#tell everyone you've won. the evil is defeated. you killed the person who you and everyone else hated so much. go ahead and be a hero#ill be dead to this world. and that's okay. bc ill be living a much better life in the real world#ive had my time in the spotlight. now it's over. now it's time for a different chapter. yall can go ahead and enjoy your spotlight#go ahead and keep proving to everyone how good and nice you are by screaming at everyone who opposes you and destroying their lives#im sure you'll be proud of the legacy you leave behind. im sure you'll be proud of how much peace your violence brought into the world#im happy with the people i love. and ill continue to find my happiness away from this deplorable hostile world. ill be floukru
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volfoss · 2 months
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i cant even like post about the horrors that are going on currently because im gonna get too mad but oh my god. like i would give her really good credit for writing a character like marius that has 0 self awareness about his insanely disgusting behavior bc like. that CAN work. you can make the reader feel disgust and see things through the eyes of someone who is horrible while not romanticizing the behavior. clearly anne did not get the memo for this one.
#twist rambles#vc posting#like i get now why the blog i was going thru the liveblog of to decide if i wanted to commit to the bit was so so glad to be done w this#book bc this is like. i genuinely cannot express how mad i am reading this lmao. quite honestly i thought mer.rick was bad and thats nothin#compared to this. i know the next one will also be rough but oh my god. oh my god. why did i commit to this. i really may have to start my#silly notes project sooner > later because i need to actually enjoy something because like. i just. god. i cannot really clearly get into#why this pisses me off without going into insane (and prob triggering) depth w mar.ius as a character but like. my godddd oh we are in hell#like i remember when i was reading the wit.cher books i was like wow the SA is really excessive. dont like that and how it keeps happening#to minors. this book makes that seem like a cakewalk w nothing wrong. this makes tva which had like... i think 10 sex scenes before pg 100#and all of them were horrific to read seem like just fine and dandy. i need anne to explode#you can tell im suffering bc i weirdly dont like posting abt the positives bc these books DO have them dont get me wrong but i dont normall#have as much 2 say when im like oh this is fun im enjoying this. and i dont really want to get any of my mutuals into the books im gonna be#honest bc theyre bad. but you can tell when im posting a lot that im in the TRENCHES. which is why ive been posting a billion times today#abt this bc its like... interesting? but also i have a lot to say. and there just rly isnt much positive abt this book in particular#nor the last one to be fair but this is like easily the most miserable ive been. with tva i could at least go yeah maybe its just anne#trying to depict an absuive relationship w the rose tinted glasses that arm.and has bc of how long hes been abused. but w this its just lik#mar.ius being like yeah im such a good guy while hes going after like his 4th minor. im so sick of itttt im so sick of it.#good lord sorry my tags have been so long today but thats bc i think im done ranting in the main post and then get another thing im mad abt#that i need to add. like idk i think while these books infuriate me at points at least i have shit to say abt it yk#anyways good god. i have to wrap up this chapter.
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knaveofmogadore · 6 months
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Kfkdks
#messages from knave#im making breakfast and im gonna list my observations from three years of weird living situations#younger siblings of big age gaps will see most interactions as a form of soft combat until trained out of it#but when actual clmbat happens they're used to not having any sway so they don't actually know how to act in arguments#siblings with codependent relationships have their own internal langauge that they apply to others. not sure if they realize they do it#but they'll hold you to the same rules they've mentally created for each other without explaining them#siblings of ALL stripes will approach situations with a set idea of how communication works. and even if it's not a logical way to communica#they'll expect you to also communicate in that way. and if you can't or refuse they'll shut down and communication stalls completely because#they can't fathom doing it any other way except the way they and their siblings socialized each other to do it#siblings with adversarial relationships don't take outside advice and will take attempts to give advice as manipulative. not their fault#oldest siblings are the most conflict averse people on the planet. oldest sinlings say#'is anyone gonna balloon this situation out of proportion by avoiding it for as long as possible' and not wait for an answer#siblings who were regularly appointed as hall monitors will see any interaction with you as transactional#a hallmark of a dysfunctional sibljng relationship is someone who thinks telling you NO is worse than going through a situation they do not#wanna be in. and then they'll complain about it endlessly#and then they'll be like 'i don't want favours from my parents because they'll hold it over me' and never make the connection on their own#people cannot anticipate your needs with their minds. they are sometimes going to ask you to be a part of things you don't wanna#you're NEVER gonna be able to live in a world where people will stop asking you to be a part of things that's not feasible#had one say once 'people should just know not to ask me along for plans I can't get to people should know not to invite me'#and you know dude that's just now how stuff works. there's a difference between 'x cant drive so they can't help me move my dresser' and#'i know xs work schedule so i shouldnt infomr them of group plansnon the off chance they could make it so they don't feel left out'#people with hyper competitive siblings can't fathom that other people won't know how to do stuff. i don't just mean athletes but siblings#with that scarcity mindsetnin general like they can't handle people not having the same knowledge base they have. it's a survival thing#and NO having a life of suffering doesn't make you correct all the time has literally anyone else watched heathers#youngest siblings always have the most deranged dating stories and the oldest in a set of age gap siblings always has the WORST taste in men#< that's directed at my sister and no one else that's a personal diss not a real observation#only children have one thing. theyre SUPER weird about splitting the grocery bill#food is NOT communal to only children I've learned firsthand. Also they'll be perfectly fine sharing anything else BUT food usually#weed. loans. bathroom supplies. dishes. ect. but NOT food#meanwhile sibljngs are a little TOO comfortable chowing down on stuff they didn't buy. bad roommates are bad roommates
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yeah but i really got fucked over by the people i told this abt loll
#some of yall might remember my vent posts and stuff and yeah this situation didnt end well for me#i could talk abt this for hours honestly this is so messed up#yknow ive been thinking how i never really tell my friends what i go through at home anymore bc i began to doubt myself#even tho i KNOW it all happened. They did abuse me. Still do. But some part of me thinks#that i just made this up or that it wasnt actually that bad. even though it was. it was so much fucking worse. and having to go through it#again and again and again. i have no words. sometimes my mind just goes blank bc i dont want to think abt this stuff. i just want it to be#over.#some part of me thinks that if i tell somebody im ruining my abusers lives. even though theyre the one ruining mine. nothing can harm them.#especially my words. they will never face consequences bc the system doesnt work. and i dont want to ruin their life.#i just want it to be over.#i just want to go on and live my life and leave this all behind and start anew.#im an awful person. i have younger siblings and this was the only reason i decided to go through with telling someone at school abt this. bc#i didnt want them to suffer like me. i knew what their mindless actions did to me. and to see my siblings go through that.#but my sister absolutely hates me for telling the school#she says shes ashamed to go there bc people know#she thinks i made it up for attention even though she literallywas there when they beat me. she was fucking there lmfao#im sorry if this is too much but i need to get this somewhere out. writing it down is not enough and i cant tell this at anyone#kill me💗 the only thing keeping me alive is dreaming. very corny i know. but fantasizing abt my far away future is the only thing making me#go on. thinking abt my life after this ends. but sometimes its not enough and i just spend all my time watching stuff or reading or whatever#just watching stuff abt lives totally different from my own. that helps me focus on something else for a while. sighhhhhh
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savanir · 3 months
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DP x DC prompt [11]
Vlad is planning something big, something powerful and he’s using his wealth and connections to make it happen. Danny realizes that his parents' tech and his friend's aid isn’t going to cut it, and brute forcing the matter as Phantom is just going to ruin his reputation permanently.
What he needs is another different fruitloop, and thankfully for him the world is pretty damn full of them.
but he needs a very specific fruitloop, the one with a big company, advanced high end tech, so much money they don’t really know what to do with it and preferably they gotta be an absent figure, because Danny is on a mission, he’s not looking to get a new parent (he has his own)
and after some searching he finds his guy
Oliver Queen
Now he just needs to get in on that, and he decides to do that by using what little he managed to remember from Vlad’s “you will be the heir of Dalv,co” rants and Sam’s ideas on environmentalism. cause Queen apparently cares a lot about giving back to the little guy.
Which is great! very important, even if his business kinda suffers from how he goes about it (but Danny can help with that! somehow! he’ll figure it out, can’t be that hard) 
We can’t all be Brucie Wayne, but we certainly can try.  
So anyway, shouldn’t be too hard, he’s got some history in the field of environment stuff what with the whole purple back gorilla thing.
and Ollie takes one good look at this smart enthusiastic black haired blue eyed teen and is like, “oh neat! my very own Tim Drake Wayne” and he just goes with it.
Danny’s hidden power of drawing in rich people is truly something to behold…
Oliver is more than happy to just let Danny do whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t break the law or look bad on him, and no drugs, he was very clear on that.
and Danny is like great, I can now work on undermining Vlad and ruin his plans!
but then… Dinah…
“Oliver Jonas Queen!”
oh shit, full named…
“You are not going to do a repeat of Roy!”
Dinah is very effective, and the whole thing starts small enough.
Oliver personally shows him around in the company, makes sure to introduce him to the important folks.
that evolves into occasionally checking up on him, making sure he takes the appropriate amount of breaks.
then he takes him to a baseball match, he had multiple tickets… would have been a waste to refuse.
Then Dinah insists he tags along for dinner in a restaurant (there were some others, it was actually not awkward at all somehow, quite nice really), this grows into dinner at the penthouse.
It's when Oliver expresses the desire to teach Danny archery, telling him there are a lot of things in the sport that are also applicable to business stuff that Danny comes to a sudden and violent realization.
He's being parented!
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insanechayne · 1 year
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