#i like how shiny absol's eye colour changes

[magicmalcolm]

Absol-utely Fabulous!

The Happiest Harbinger of Doom.

[pop-goes-the-sneasel]

Can I requset absol? :3c

Ooooh, Absol.

One of my Absolute (hahaha) favourite Dark-types, Absol’s one of those pokemon that’s just OBJECTIVELY rad. Big white cat-wolf thing with asymmetrically positioned scythe horns that form a Taijitu? Holy hell. The most likely basis that Bulbapedia attributes to it is the Bai Ze of Chinese mythology, a horned white beast with the ability to communicate with humans and possessing knowledge of 11,520 supernatural creatures and how to overcome them. A Japanese take on the concept, known as the kutabe, was said to predict a deadly plague that would sweep through the Toyama Prefecture. Which ties into Absol’s primary conceptual gimmick: prediction of disasters.

Unfortunately for Absol, it lacks its basis’s capacity for communication, and the most it can really do it just appear before those who are soon to experience eminent calamity, such as earthquakes or tsunamis. It’s always tempting to read correlation as causation, though, so poor Absol often gets saddled with the blame for causing said calamities, whether directly or through simply bringing about bad luck. This led to them being driven off by humans deep into the mountains, and they rarely venture down as a result. Not dissimilar to the real-life aye-aye, which are killed due to their association with bad luck and evil, not to mention the historical treatment of black cats. Very sad :(

Its concept also notably does NOT really represent its typing at all. I’ve talked about this a little with Umbreon, but the Dark-type’s key themes are dirty tricks, unfair tactics, and general assholery. That’s not Absol at all! Absol’s an upstanding yet misunderstood lad only seeking to warn others of impending doom!!!! This is even acknowledged by its hidden ability, Justified, which is explicitly justice-themed and increases power when ATTACKED by Dark-types!!! …..But like, the only other typing that could realistically fit is Normal, and that’s…..rly boring. So Dark it is, I guess.

Absol’s also got an Absolutely (hahahaha) killer mega evolution! Absol is admittedly total edgelord bait, and Mega Absol wholeheartedly embraces that by slappin’ some angel wings and emo hair on the sucker. To surprisingly great effect, actually. It adds a guardian angel sort of motif to its prognosticative ways, in addition to giving it a lowkey Greek sphinx aesthetic that’s undeniably cool. Over-the-top, perhaps, but in the best possible way. It’s easily one of my favourite megas, probably top three.

And Absol’s shiny is utterly superb as well! Swapping the dark grey-blue out for a light burgundy, with the red eyes getting swapped for cyan, produces a marvellous effect that manages to stand out from the already-solid base colours and arguably even surpass them. Definitely one of the better shinies, if not amongst the best.

In summary, I love Absol. It’s edgy as all hell, sure, but that’s part of what makes it appealing. Wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Absolutely perfect/10. (hahahahahaha)

[pop-goes-the-sneasel]

Sableye, please? It's my favorite.

SABLEYE!!!!

Sableye’s a creepy little gem-eating fellow whomst I thoroughly adore. It’s seemingly based on Hopskinville Goblins, cryptids originating from Kentucky with shining eyes, clawed arms, and swaying hips much like Sableye in some 3D games. A Ghost/Dark-type, it has probably the spookiest possible type combination possible (which before Fairy, had no weaknesses!). And with the gemstone eyes, it has an incredibly unsettling look to it. Though you can’t really tell in the Sugimori art, it’s got some great vibes that mix fun with creepy in a rather unique way, too.

See what I mean???? You don’t see it all the time, but Sableye’s got a WICKED smile filled with rows of sharp, perfectly triangular teeth: ideal for eating gems! This is what gives Sableye its real appeal, I feel – without the teeth, it’s still pleasantly eerie, but with the teeth, it’s just got so much PERSONALITY. This is further compounded by the unnatural, twitchy movements it often has in the 3D games. I do wish the Sugimori art showed the teeth though, because prior to my awareness of the teeth I didn’t love Sableye even half as much as I do. They’re SO GOOD!!!!

Sableye’s gem-eating habits are actually the source of its eerie appearance: it causes gemstones to rise above its skin and literally transformed its eyes into gemstones. Likely a horrifying process and one we, thankfully, never witness. Those eyes are said to burn with a sinister glow, which is believed to indicate Sableye is about to steal people’s spirits. Also it eats Carbink too, which makes sense, but yeesh! Poor Carbink. Being on the receiving end of those teeth sounds gravely painful.

Sableye is also a recipient of a Mega Evolution, and by far one of the best ones! Rather than drastically changing Sableye, it instead simply gets one gem intensely enlarged (which then “rips through its skin”), and though you can’t see them here, it also gets a TON more gems added to its back. It’s a mixed benefit, since it can use that massive gem to block attacks, but it also can’t turn around easily so its gem-addled back is highly vulnerable.

Mega Sableye also gets the ability Magic Bounce, which is notable because of how the giant gemstone actually reflects that! Pun fully intended because the ability Magic Bounce literally reflects all non-damaging attacks, which is INCREDIBLY useful in competitive formats. Its defensive stats also get an enormous boost, and it’s overall one of the biggest improvements a Mega makes on the base form.

The one thing worth criticising about Sableye is its somewhat unpleasant-looking shiny, a yellowy brown with yellow gemstone eyes and a green chest gem. Its original sprite had a more striking golden colour to it, which looked much more pleasant, but alas not all shinies made the 3D transition well. The Mega fares a bit better, due to the heightened amount of green.

Overall, I love Sableye, and it’s one of my favourite Ghost-types and Dark-types. I do wish official portrayals did more to leverage its outstanding toothy, twitchy vibes though; it feels like its most appealing aspects are often overlooked. Mega Sableye’s simplicity of its change to such a solid base design also makes it quite possibly my favourite Mega Evolution, up there with Mega Absol and Mega Mawile. Plus it even features the smile more heavily!

Wheh-heh-heh/10.