#i know you cant see the drink vary well but that doesn't matter

[chaosinthecloset]

Or? Why not both?

Lego Monkie Kid Fan Artists.

Please draw Wukong(or Macaque) drinking THIS

A friend found this to me in the supermarket, and now its a decoration in my room.

(Yes, im totally normal about LMK)

[elixirvitae]

Your answers are just *chefs kiss*... soo I was wondering for a while now... Alu physiology 🤓 how does that man's body work? He drinks blood, does he need to use the toilet? Can he vomit if he feels sick? Can he sneeze? Can he cum? Is he fertile? We know he can cry a bloody substance so would all his substances be bloody? Does he expel gas? I cant grasp the way his body works at all.. he bleeds but does his body even pump blood? Is he hot or cold? If his blood is just standing still inside his body, how would he get an erection? He is meant to be unalive so what does he smell like? Also, i thought the other day, people who thirst for him.. are we necrophilliacs since he is meant to be deaded 😂? Help 😭😭😭😭

This is a fun topic! This is gonna get looonnnngggg because I've been nerding out over this subject for a long time.

So, like, I'm not a biologist? So most of these thoughts are pretty simplistic and fundamental. I'd love to hear someone more knowledgeable lend their take on these theories. "Blood is the life! Blood is the life!" We see Alucard in varying states of appearance as far as liveliness goes. He looks pretty tired sometimes, with heavy lines under his eyes and pallid skin. But sometimes he looks healthier, livelier, and I think that's in direct correlation to how much blood he has drank recently, and of what quality.

I'm better with machines than biology. Think of a body like a vehicle engine. You've got the motor, the moving parts, and the fluids (among uhhhh a bunch of other stuff?). Doesn't matter how new the engine, how sturdy the gaskets, the brand of brakes, because if you don't keep your fluids up, your car will stop carring.

So, my theory is that his body "performs" more like a living body at its prime when he's well-fed. Do you remember that part where he binged and took a nap in his chair in Ultimate? Walter observed that he was building up energy and strength for the coming battle. Now, "at its prime" doesn't mean "more human". Excreting waste, in my opinion, is a sign of inefficiency in an organism's metabolism and of course we know the health of our gut contributes to the frequency and circumstances of how we excrete waste. Illness, food allergy, presence or absence of bacteria, etc. So, I don't think he vomits, defecates, or urinates. Alucard metabolizes blood, which is, in Stoker and subsequent lore, the vehicle for life essence. He metabolizes blood entirely, and it fuels all the prime performance abilities of an organism and the extent of their abilities. In Romanian lore, male strigoi, Alucard's particular subspecies of vampire, can impregnate human women (female strigoi, in classic Olde Misogyny, have a wild libido and will exhaust a male human until his death). So, he can feed, fuck, and fight. The perfect creature. As for his blood flow, I think his heart DOES pump blood through his body, but very slowly. And by slowly, I mean like a couple times a night, give or take, depending on how physically active he is and how much blood he has been drinking. Bradycardia is not inherently a bad thing; generally speaking, as long as you feel good, a slow heart rate means your heart is pumping more efficiently. If his blood was stagnant in his body, we would see a lot of discoloration in his skin, and the blood would be pooling at whatever the lowest point of the body is as we see in deceased human bodies. And because his blood flows, it's reasonable to expect him to be a reasonable temperature. I think he probably runs pretty cool compared to a human. He probably feels like those people who are always cool to the touch when you touch their hand or cheek, but I mean realistically if you leave a steak on the counter all day it will reach room temperature. And since his body is animated and functioning on a baser level, I don't think he would smell ripe or anything. I personally think his coffin is lined with old Romanian earth beneath upholstery, so he probably smells like old, turned soil and the materials and environment he's surrounded in. I headcanon old soil, leather, and gun smoke. Now what I can't rationalize with this specific line of thinking is that in Stoker, Dracula so famously gives Harker the line "I never drink...wine." But at some point, in Alucard's canon, and I'm looking at Arthur here, he must have been granted the ability to drink spirits. He is chronically drinking wine in all formats of Hellsing. One day I'll go through all three versions, and I'll count the number of scenes in which he's drinking.

I DO know that cattle, oxen, pig, and lamb blood was used as a fining agent in wine, from ancient times up until the US started trying to bully Germany and France into stopping. If I recall correctly, Germany and France shrugged it off, but I think in the 90's around the time BSE (mad cow disease) was a huge scare, the US and the UK outlawed bovine blood as a fining agent. SO, until somebody out there is bold enough to research the subject, I headcanon that Arthur started a reserve for Alucard in which human blood is used as a fining agent in his own reserve of wine. Why not? Wine can thin blood, which means he probably has to drink a fair amount of blood before drinking wine or he'd probably get pretty fuckered up. So, in contrast to many folks' headcanons, he's probably a pretty light drinker unless he's been gorging on blood. And the only other thing I used to think he'd have trouble metabolizing was yeast but honestly it would just contribute to respiration, so he might breathe more than just when he needs to pass air through his vocal cords. Which might imply that when he's drinking, and his respiration is amped up that he might get the most rush out of smoking like we see him in WW2 and in a few chapter covers. Which supports my theory that he can party like a motherfucker if he wants to and supports my own headcanon that he likes to indulge in vices.

Aaaaand for your final question, no, I don't think we're necrophiliacs because Alucard is an animated, sentient creature capable of consent.

[fluffmugger]

The two don't necessarily negate each other - there is so much to unpack with that scene you may as well slap take me to church or It's a sin over the top of it. 

Crowley is done with the machinations of both sides - has been for a very long time.   Aziraphale pays lip service to the cant of the institution, and is mostly bound to it by fear - but still holds the faith, directly, with god. 

So out go beez and gabs, and all the power of the *institution*, the thing he fears the most, is shown to be utter mousefarts, after all those deliberate 'i do not imbibe/ pollute' food, drink, the voice of god itself shows up with a very metropolitan coffee order in hand and says 'yo church has changed, come check it out, be a force for it' and of *course* he leaps for it, he still has Faith. He gets his cake and eats it too and everything is *wonderful* and Crowley, crowley why won't you, someone so hurt by the institution and god, someone in a place beyond all this, why won't you come with me?

And Crowley basically throws down an ultimatum.   Be with ME.  Be US.  And Aziraphale tries the dance, tries that dither, but Crowley knows it's a lie, there's no dithering, Aziraphale has already given him his answer. 

God won. 

And so Crowley steps out.

And honestly, i feel for the guy but after 6,000 years, he had to realise that even though he had issues with The Institution, in the series Aziraphale always had Faith. Aziraphale has always been portrayed as seeing god themselves as a seperate entity to the angels and the demons, to heaven and hell.  He has a different understanding of god, of the unknowingness of god, and his malleability - the part that responded to Crowley's machinations across the years - is part of that compartmentalisation.  Take the  example of the original summoning - in the book he goes straight to god, but in the series he goes through the varying bureaucracies before straight to the source (where he's once again cockblocked by said bureaucracy) - think about that. Think of the insanity of that.  God is literally omniscient.  God literally set all this in motion.  It doesn't matter shit he found the antichrist, god already knew precisely where the lil' fucker was, and it was right where god wanted him to be. And despite literally speaking with god, Aziraphale has somehow divorced god's actions from god and god from the institution.

Of *course* he would jump at a chance to rewrite the parts he doesn't like.  Especially when they come to him with everything he's ever wanted. 

And yeah there's a naivete to it, and a bit of stupidity even, but like Job he takes the hit because God is Good, even when everything he's going through argues the opposite.     He may even see the break with Crowley as akin to the binding of isaac (genesis, not the game) - to give up that which is most precious to him for the greater good.

Ooh i could write friggin' essays on that boy, i'm a queer raised RC who broke from the church and dated many who hadn't try me, try me. 

How are we all feeling about Aziraphale’s last “I forgive you”? Does it mean I forgive you for kissing me to try to get me to stay, I forgive you for choosing this moment to reveal your feelings, I forgive you for not coming with me, I forgive you for kissing me period??? What?

I keep going back and forth on it and I NEED to hear what everyone else is thinking. Lay it on me, I’m open to new interpretations because everything hurts and I’m dying.