#i know my apartment is small and it's also a temporary solution...

[sinnettini]

i told my mum i wanted to get a cat and she shut me down completely and now i kinda want to cry

[green-crow]

Day three down and it's not even 10pm, this is a new record for me (I'm slow as fuck). Honestly this pair makes me feel so comfortable and cozy, while Viggo is my number 1 husband Leshy is no doubt my safe space, and writing about Leshy/Nic (Nishy) is always a nice way to destress. It also helps I don't take it too serious and just let myself have fun, no expectations. Love these two. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Day 3: Acts of Service

Fandom: Inscryption

Summary: "With Leshy being away for a few days, Nic finds themselves very annoyed by the different parts of the cabin and decides to take matters into their own hands."

Rating: General Audiences

Word count: 1388

Characters: Leshy (Inscryption), Nic (OC)

Pairing: Leshy (Inscryption)/Nic (OC), OC/Canon

The harsh cold chilled Nic’s spine when the wind bit down on their fur. The satyr quickly closed the nearby window yet again, an annoyed frown on their face. That thing had been opening whenever it felt like lately despite their best attempts to fix it. How was it possible that after years of working for PO3 at the factory, they couldn’t even repair a stupid window? With a small huff, they returned to what they were doing before the window distracted them—only to trip over a loose wood panel on the floor. Nic grunted and stomped on the floorboard, tired of that cabin and all its quirks. That place was falling apart faster with each passing day and adding more repairs to Nic’s to-do lists. The young satyr was ready to just burn the whole thing down. But, of course, they couldn’t. Leshy had given them the task to merely survive for the week while he was gone for some “important scrybe business”, and even then, he had mentioned it as if Nic was a little fawn too delicate to achieve even that little. They could take care of themselves, and they would show that old man what else they were capable of. 

It had started as a temporary solution, a way for Nic to overcome their boredom as they sat alone in the lonely cabin and get rid of those pesky annoyances that had been bothering them for a while now. But it had soon become a personal challenge. With each job they got done, the young satyr found yet another problem waiting to be fixed. If the forest hadn’t proven so dangerous without Leshy by their side, the young satyr would have gone out already to look for Rebecha and ask for help. Not that they needed any. Nic had everything under control. Absolutely everything. If an old, rusty satyr like Leshy could manage, so could they. So, they got back to work and grabbed the few tools they had found in the cabin. 

After days of intense, frustrating work and hours of working on task after task, Nic could finally rest easy knowing the cabin had been completely fixed. The young satyr sat before the fireplace, ears dropped, the few remaining logs becoming ash little by little as the fire crackled. They slouched and cracked their back, returning to the worst possible position for their body immediately. The familiar soreness and mind fogginess they were experiencing were almost comforting, in an odd way. They reminded the young satyr of their days back at the factory when they bent over backward just to please their previous boss. Sometimes, they found themselves missing those times —the praise whenever they overcame a challenge, the way others looked up to them, PO3’s constant extra challenges that the then human thought of as prizes instead of seeing them for what they were, their mentor taking advantage of their intelligence. Nic knew they didn’t miss the factory or even that cocky robot they used to idolize, but rather the feeling of being helpful to those they appreciated. Of solving others' problems and thus making their lives easier. 

Grabbing the iron poker, the satyr stoked the fire carefully. Leshy wouldn’t take too long to return, and Nic wanted to see the look on the old scrybe’s face when they saw all their handiwork. Their doe tail started wagging involuntarily. Would he like the changes Nic had put so much effort on? Would he be impressed? Proud even? They could feel their cheeks growing warmer at the thought of Leshy rewarding them for a job well done, and a strange feeling settled on their chest when they pictured the tired scrybe getting back to the cabin only to find all his problems taken care of. Maybe he’d pet them with a smile, letting them see those cute crinkles around h is eyes—

Nic blinked. No. No, they didn’t just think of Leshy as cute. That thought did not cross their mind at all. Of course not. That was ridiculous. They absolutely did not want to get pet by the scrybe, let alone see that smile, just as Nic hadn’t been thinking about how much rest Leshy would get whenever they finished a new task. Why would they care? They didn’t. Plain and simple. The scrybe of the beasts had been maybe helpful and sometimes even not entirely unbearable, but that was it. Surely, those reactions and thoughts had been caused by… By tiredness, yes. That must have been it. Nic was so tired they were delusional. That must have been the only reasonable explanation. 

So, with that in mind, the young satyr grabbed a pelt from the pile on the bed and lay back down in front of the fireplace, deciding to take a quick nap to recover and forget all about Leshy’s not-adorable self. 

As the sky turned pink at sunset, the cabin door creaked open, letting out a gust of wind into the warm, wooden house. After closing the door, the scrybe of the beast let out a sigh as the warmth gently enveloped him, crawling underneath his cloak. It was such a comforting sensation compared to walking through the snow for hours, so much so it almost helped him forget all about how annoying that egocentric computer was. Almost. Leshy was sure it had scheduled that meeting at Botopia just to make him walk further than usual and spite him. Regardless, the meeting had given the scrybe much to ponder. With his mind filled with questions, the old satyr stepped towards the fireplace but soon stopped as he noticed a bulk of fur already lying in front of it. His tail softly swung from side to side, and his lips curled into a small smile. Nic had fallen asleep. The small satyr had a tendency to fall asleep anywhere but in their bed, so this didn’t surprise him much. Either way, he let them rest —he wasn’t up to having yet another argument with the little fawn to make them return to bed. Amused, he shook his head and instead turned towards the kitchen, meaning to prepare dinner for himself. Yet something felt off as he took a step. With his hoove, he stepped on the floor once more, then again, then one last time. The floor did not creak underneath his weight. Confused, the older satyr looked at the sleeping fawn and then back at his floor. 

Now that he looked at it carefully, he noticed some clear signs that someone had made an effort to replace the board. Some minor scratches around the adjacent planks, a few shiny screws standing out amongst the old, rusty ones, and remnants of sawdust on the floor were the main tells. His ears went up in surprise, and this find soon led to a whole treasure hunt around his cabin. The broken window, the uneven chair, those broken fishing nets… Even his cuckoo clock now worked properly. The elder satyr tapped on the wooden timepiece, impressed by Nic’s skills. He couldn’t help but wonder what had led the resourceful satyr to take on such a challenge in his absence, yet Leshy suspected there was a reason they probably would hate. Unfortunately for Nic, Leshy knew they were warming up to him. Gone was the skittish creature who had reluctantly come to his forest for help, the same one who, just like a cornered wild animal, tended to bite the hand that fed them over and over again. Instead, now they were capable, hot-headed satyr that had learned to trust the scrybe with time. He had noticed, of course. The way they sometimes lit up the fireplace when they saw Leshy shiver, how they cooked for them both rather than just themselves every once in a while, even going as far as asking him if they could play together his beloved card game. 

The old scrybe grabbed another pelt and gently put it over the little fawn’s sleeping form, watching their chest rise and fall with their breathing. Nic would never admit it, but Leshy knew they had come to feel some sort of affection for him. No matter how cold and reserved they acted, how rude the young satyr could be at times… Nic’s actions spoke loud enough for him.

[infernal-general]

“Jó estét kívánok! Visszajöttek a félkegyelmű huszárok!” Ferenc laughed at his improvised greeting

“Fehérvári vagyok, nőcsábász szarjankó!” Márta definitely took issue with the ‘deranged’ adjective

How Rozália missed them. Despite despising the Ring so fiercely...yet her first stride was aimed to find Marcell and Farkas to witness the progress of the Military District.

The tight, warm hug as greeting from her right hand was a welcomed gesture, even though it put pressure on bruises that haven't healed yet.

“Te is hiányoztál Marcell.” (Missed you too Marcell.) She returned the embrace just as fiercely, only looking around after a few moments had passed in peace.

“Kibővitettük a bázist, sokan akarnak csatlakozni a sereghez, főleg az 56'-os mártírok. Nekik ideiglenes szállásuk van, mivel nem tudjuk, hogy kivitelezhető-e.” (We expanded the headquarters, many want to join the army, especially the martyrs of 56'. They have a temporary residence, since we don't know whenever its doable or not.) Marcell started the report, pointing at the new building closest to the headquarters.

“Meg tudom csinálni. Holnap hozhatod az újoncokat, de figyelmeztesd őket, hogy rohadtul fog fájni.” (I can do it. You can bring the rookies tomorrow, but warn them that the process will hurt like hell.) Rozália confirmed and ensured whoever wants part of the Hellfire curse is aware of the risks and pains that come with it.

The day was spent as a tour, many buildings were still freshly painted, little fingerprints found upon closer examination. She'd poured all of her savings into innovation, expansion and prosperity. Houses, apartment complexes for sinners and hellborns alike, free from judgment, classism and Overlords. A secondary hospital, with a maternity unit and steady supply from Sloth for every kind of illness and injury possible.

Job opportunities ranging from physical and skilled labor to academic ones. Elementary school and university established for imps, hellhounds with sinners also offered the opportunity to both. Béla's bakery was buzzing with people even now, with plenty employees hired to make it manageable. Clean streets, clean air, wildlife gently littering the sides of the roads. Farkas managed to pull a miracle of somehow managing seeds to take root, blossom into trees, small fields of grains; creating an independent food supply for the region. Only animals were missing, they were due next week from Wrath according to Márta. The watchtowers also received an upgrade plus a few more sprung along the borders of the territory, no doubt with a few explosive surprises underground as Árpád's courtesy.

“Minden elképzelésemet felülmúltátok.” (You've surpassed all of my expectations.) Rozália rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, her features soft and proud.

The soldier blushed at the sincere compliment, unsure how to react to such high praise. However, something remained undiscussed.

“Azt...nem tudom mi legyen a...prostituáltakkal.” (I...don't know what to do with the...prostitutes.) He managed to force it out, embarrassed to not have a solution ready

“Mi lenne? A szexmunka is munka. Ha van rá igény, építsünk egy elit bordélyházat védelmet biztosítva, de függetlenül is dolgozhatnak. Egy klub sem ártana, és nem egy falusi kocsmára gondolok. Aki táncolni akar, de nem tovább, legyen nekik hol.” (What to do? Sexwork is work too. If there's need for it, lets build an elite brothel with protection, but they can work independently too. A club also wouldn't hurt either, but I'm not thinking about a tavern. If someone wants to dance but nothing more, they should have a place to do so.) Rozália concluded

“És Valentino?” Marcell pointed out

“Ha nincs szerződése az itt dolgozókkal, bekaphatja a nem létező faszomat.” (If he doesn't have a soul contract with the ones working here, he can suck my nonexistent dick.) “Semmi köze nincs, hogy mi történik a Hadi Körzetben. És ha úgy gondolja, hogy van...” (He has no business knowing what happens in the Military District. And if he thinks he does...)

“Egy gonddal kevesebb.” (One problem less.)

“Az elvonó tömve van, Pest gyógynövényekkel kísérletezik szabadidejében.” (The rehabilitation institute is packed, Pest is experimenting with herbs in his free time.) Farkas, with hands still muddy up to elbows chimed in. His state didn't deter Rozy from going for a half hug

“Említettél két újabb beruházást az éjszaka hölgyei és urai számára..., de utálom, hogy meg kell kérdeznem: van rá keret? Így is rengeteget áldoztál abba, amit lázálomnak hittem.” (You mentioned two other investments for the ladies and gentlemen of the night...,but I hate that I have to ask: do we have the finances for it? You've already sacrificed a tremendous amount to what I thought was a fever dream.) Yet here they were standing, in the heart of innovation.

“Van. Mostanáig azon voltam, hogy legyen.” (We have. And I have been working on that until now.) And she will continue to do so whenever she can, cage, underground, professional fights in every Ring paid extremely well, despite her achievements, she was still dismissed as a weirdly powerful sinner. Which she proved wrong again and again with every fight, leaving crippled or dead opponents in her wake. Her healing factor allowed her to take on multiple opponents a night with little to no rest between days, that thanks to her built up stamina for Extermination.

“Pár befektető Fösvénységből érdeklődést mutatott-” (A few businessmen from Greed showed interest-)

“Feldughatják.” (They can shove it up to their ass.) Rozália cut in

“...Nem valami diplomatikus hozzáállás.” (...Not really a diplomatic approach.) Marcell chuckled

“Ezekkel nem lehet diplomatikus lenni. Elsőre határozottan elutasítod, utána, ha visszaszólnak, defenesztrálod őket.” (You can't be diplomatic with those. You firmly reject them at first, and then if they have anything more to say, defenestrate them.)

Marcell, upon seeing Farkas' slight confusion reworded it as “Kibaszod őket az ablakon.” (Hurl them out of the fucking window.), earning a gruff ‘Then why didn't you say that?’

“Létrehoztunk valami különlegeset. Fejlődést, biztonságot adunk majdnem ingyen. Nagyon sokan fognak próbálkozni, hogy eltiporják. Nem hagyhatjuk, nem csak magunk miatt, hanem azokért akiket befogadtunk és jobb életet ígértünk. Én nem szegem meg a szavam.” (We made something special. We are giving prosperity and safety almost for free. Many will try to destroy all that. We can't let them, not just for ourselves, but for the ones we took in and promised better lives. I never go back on my word.) Rozália declared, ruby eyes sweeping through the sight before her. This is how revolution looks like. And she will continue to bring, nourish and protect it.

[elsie--young]

Vacation Rentals in Buenos Aires: Why They’re the Smart Choice!

When I was planning my trip to Buenos Aires, the sheer size of the city was intimidating. With a population of nearly 3 million people and an endless list of neighborhoods, I found myself overwhelmed by the choices for where to stay. Hotels seemed convenient, but they lacked the personal touch I was looking for. I didn’t just want a place to sleep; I wanted to experience the city like a local. That's when I started looking into vacation rentals in Buenos Aires.

Agitation: The Struggles of Traditional Accommodations

I’ve stayed in plenty of hotels during my travels, and while they have their perks, I often feel disconnected from the place I’m visiting. In Buenos Aires, I wanted more than just a cookie-cutter room. I wanted a place with character, where I could cook my own meals after shopping at a local market or relax on a balcony overlooking the bustling streets of Palermo. But finding the right vacation rental wasn’t easy either. With so many options, ranging from budget apartments to luxury lofts, how do you know which one will offer the best value?

Then, I started digging into the numbers. The average cost of a hotel room in Buenos Aires can range from $70 to $150 per night, depending on the area and the time of year. In contrast, vacation rentals in Buenos Aires often provide more space and amenities for a similar or even lower price. I found a one-bedroom apartment in Palermo for $65 a night, fully equipped with a kitchen, living room, and a small balcony. Not only was it cheaper than most hotels, but it also gave me the freedom to live like a local.

Solution: My Experience with Vacation Rentals in Buenos Aires

I booked a vacation rental in the Recoleta neighborhood, one of the most charming and historic areas of Buenos Aires. From the moment I arrived, I knew I’d made the right choice. My apartment was in a beautifully restored building with high ceilings and large windows that let in plenty of natural light. It felt more like a home than a temporary stay.

One of the best parts of staying in a vacation rental was the ability to explore the city at my own pace. Every morning, I’d walk to the nearby bakery for fresh medialunas (Argentine croissants) and enjoy my breakfast on the balcony. I loved having the option to cook my own meals when I didn’t feel like eating out. The local markets were full of fresh produce, and I had everything I needed in the kitchen to whip up a simple meal.

Being in a vacation rental also meant I could easily blend into the neighborhood. I wasn’t just a tourist passing through; I was living in Buenos Aires, if only for a little while. I found myself becoming a regular at the local coffee shop and even got to know some of the neighbors. This kind of experience is hard to come by when you’re staying in a hotel, where the focus is often on convenience rather than immersion.

Another advantage of vacation rentals in Buenos Aires is the variety of options available. Whether you’re traveling solo, as a couple, or with a group, there’s something to suit every need and budget. For families, vacation rentals offer the space and amenities you can’t find in a standard hotel room. Many rentals come with multiple bedrooms, living areas, and even outdoor spaces, making them ideal for longer stays.

During my stay, I also realized how much more affordable vacation rentals can be. For example, a family of four could easily spend over $200 a night on two hotel rooms, while a spacious two-bedroom apartment in a prime neighborhood like Palermo or Recoleta could cost significantly less. Plus, having a kitchen helps save on dining costs, which can add up quickly in a big city.

Why Vacation Rentals in Buenos Aires Are Worth It

After my experience, I’m convinced that vacation rentals in Buenos Aires are the way to go. They offer the perfect balance of comfort, convenience, and authenticity. Whether you’re looking to stay in a trendy area like Palermo, a historic neighborhood like San Telmo, or the upscale streets of Recoleta, there’s a rental that will make your trip to Buenos Aires unforgettable.

If you’re ready to find your perfect home away from home, check out The guide to the 5 Vacation Rentals in Buenos Aires—a selection of top picks to make your stay truly special.

[article1111]

Man and Van Richmond: Your Go-To Solution for Hassle-Free Moves

Moving can be one of life's most stressful events, whether you’re relocating to a new home or transferring items for your business. In Richmond, one name stands out for providing efficient, reliable, and affordable moving services: Man and Van Richmond. This local service offers a tailored approach to meet the diverse moving needs of Richmond's residents and businesses, ensuring a smooth transition without the usual headaches.

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Expert Team and Modern Fleet

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Affordable and Transparent Pricing

One of the key advantages of choosing Man and Van Richmond is their transparent and competitive pricing. They provide detailed quotes with no hidden charges, ensuring you know exactly what to expect. This affordability does not come at the cost of quality; instead, it underscores their commitment to delivering exceptional value. Their pricing structure is designed to be flexible, catering to a wide range of budgets while maintaining high service standards.

Comprehensive Services

Beyond standard moving services, Man and Van Richmond offers additional services to make your move as seamless as possible. These include packing and unpacking, furniture assembly and disassembly, and temporary storage solutions. This comprehensive approach means you can rely on a single provider for all your moving needs, reducing the stress and complexity of coordinating multiple services.

Community-Focused Approach

Man and Van Richmond is not just a service provider; they are an integral part of the Richmond community. They prioritize customer satisfaction and have built a reputation based on trust and reliability. By choosing a local service, you are supporting the community and ensuring a more personalized and responsive moving experience.

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Booking Man and Van Richmond services is easy and convenient. Simply contact them at +44 7957039116 to discuss your requirements and get a personalized quote. You can also visit their office at 49 Sheen Common Drive TW10 5BW, to speak with a representative in person and explore the available options.

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Rating: 5/5

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How We Contact

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Phone:

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Give them a call directly to discuss your requirements, get a personalized quote, or schedule your moving or transportation service.

Visit in Person:

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If you prefer face-to-face interaction or need detailed assistance, you can visit their office at the above address. A representative will be available to assist you with your queries and help you plan your move.

Online Inquiry:

If you prefer digital communication, you might also be able to reach out to Man and Van Richmond through their website or email. They have an official website where you can fill out a contact form or send an email detailing your requirements. Here is the Link of Website: https://manandvanrichmond.co.uk/

Social Media:

Sometimes companies also provide customer support via social media platforms such as Facebook or Twitter. Look for Man and Van Richmond official pages on these platforms and send them a message with your inquiry.

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In conclusion, Man and Van Richmond is your ideal partner for a hassle-free move. Their professional team, modern fleet, transparent pricing, and comprehensive services ensure that your moving day is smooth and stress-free. Whether you are moving within Richmond or beyond, you can count on Man and Van Richmond to deliver exceptional service every step of the way.

[healthproducts1191]

Revitalize Your Eyes: A Review of the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable

Introduction: As someone who has struggled with persistent dark circles under my eyes, I have often found myself on the quest for the perfect solution. After trying numerous remedies with limited success, I stumbled upon the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable. Intrigued by its promising claims, I decided to give it a try. Little did I know that this product would become an essential part of my skincare routine, transforming the delicate skin around my eyes.

First Impressions: Upon receiving the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable, I was impressed by its sleek packaging and clear instructions. The product exuded an air of quality and professionalism, instilling confidence in its efficacy. The compact size made it convenient for travel, ensuring that I could maintain my skincare regimen wherever I went.

Application Experience: I used the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable as directed, applying a small amount to the under-eye area each morning and evening. The lightweight formula absorbed effortlessly into my skin, leaving behind no greasy residue. I appreciated its gentle nature, as it did not cause any irritation or discomfort, even on my sensitive skin. The cooling sensation upon application provided an instant refreshing feeling, making it a delightful part of my daily routine.

Visible Results: After consistent use of the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable for several weeks, I began to notice remarkable improvements in the appearance of my dark circles. The formula effectively targeted pigmentation and uneven skin tone, gradually diminishing the shadows under my eyes. I was thrilled to see my once tired and puffy eyes transform into a brighter, more rejuvenated appearance. The difference was so significant that friends and family started commenting on how refreshed I looked, boosting my confidence and self-esteem.

Hydration and Nourishment: What sets the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable apart from other eye creams is its ability to not only reduce dark circles but also provide deep hydration and nourishment to the delicate under-eye area. Infused with potent ingredients such as hyaluronic acid and vitamin E, it replenishes moisture and strengthens the skin's natural barrier. I noticed a significant improvement in the suppleness and elasticity of my skin, making it look and feel more youthful and radiant.

Long-Term Benefits: One of the most impressive aspects of the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable is its long-term benefits. Unlike temporary solutions that provide short-lived results, this product works to address the underlying causes of dark circles, preventing their recurrence. With continued use, I have experienced a significant reduction in the severity and frequency of my dark circles, leading to a more rested and revitalized appearance overall.

Conclusion: In conclusion, the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable has exceeded my expectations in every aspect. From its luxurious texture to its transformative results, this product has become an indispensable part of my skincare routine. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking an effective solution for dark circles, as it delivers on its promises with remarkable efficacy. Say goodbye to tired eyes and hello to a brighter, more youthful complexion with the Dark Circles Eliminator Deliverable.

[moonlitinks]

gift giver [jungkook x reader]

drabble count: 1

join my tag list for future works masterlist of all works | kofi (support) current | next drabble

summary: You didn’t know what to do with all the gifts Jungkook sends you—regularly. Whether he’s on tour, or in Korea, he’s mailing you a gift that somehow manages to arrive weekly. As the guilt gnaws at you, you realize it’s time to end things. Friendship isn’t based on money, after all.

But the idol has different intentions.

tldr; in which Jungkook “persuades” you to accept his gifts bc he loves spoiling you

pairing: jungkook x reader

chapter warnings: mature, slight angst, swearing

a/n: hello hello! this is my first drabble, and the ao3 version of it is here. i love writing drabbles based on prompts, so if you want one, please don't hesitate to ask/submit on my page. thanks so much for reading!

It’s not your fault that Jungkook’s so charming. At least, that’s what you’re telling yourself—mentally preparing yourself, in fact—as you smile at the cashier. Your brain needs the latte, since pulling an all-nighter was one of the worst ideas you had. Right next to the decision you made to meet the idol while you’re sleep deprived.

Fortunately, it’s a small cafe. One of the spots that only idols know of, apparently. You’re grateful for the coziness of it, the fairy lights reflecting your room, and the small whir of the coffee machine at work.

“That’ll be—”

“I got it,” a low voice interjects, and a hand slips around your waist, the other placing slips of won on the counter. As the cashier’s eyes widen, you know who it is.

“Jungkook,” you breath out. “You don’t have to.”

It’s all you can say, as it’s a fight you’ve put up for months. But every time he shoots you that look—one of promise—you can’t help but melt under his gaze. The intense aura he gives off when he’s around you has you in a puddle of goo, but also stirs up a rebellious side of you.

Sometimes, you’ll see his eyes darken when that side comes out. Other times, there’s a warmth around him, as if treating you is his favorite thing to do in the world. As if you are the center of the world to him. Though you know it’s a fabrication in your head, you don’t want it to stop.

With a sharp nod towards the lady, he leads you to the table in the corner. The mask dwarfs half of his face, while the top is taken up by his sunglasses and hat. It’s ridiculous—you’ve made fun of him one too many times—but needed, since he’s an international idol.

Obviously. Like you don’t get reminded of that everyday. You don’t want to feel that jealous pang when girls shriek his name and declare that they belong to him. You don’t want that to be a barrier between your friendship with him, especially because he means so much to you.

So what’s the temporary solution until you can figure it out?

Cut off his gift givings.

“Did you like the desktop I sent you?” He asks casually, as if he was asking about the weather, and not the thousand dollar computer laying on your desk, still boxed. Sure, it may not have costed much in his eyes, but he bought practically everything in your apartment.

How, you don’t know.

“Uh, yeah,” you comment, picking at the seam of your hoodie. “It… works very well.”

Jungkook’s eyes narrow—a telltale sign that he knows you’re bullshitting him. You know him well enough to escape his scrutiny, too. Well, sometimes.

Being a terrible liar sucked.

“And you like the note I left you?”

Oh, crap. Your shoulders stiffen at that. He left you a note? Since when did he decide to leave notes instead of texting like an average person in the 21st century?

“You’re lying,” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Your eyes are drawn to his physique. Broad shoulders, well-defined abs hidden by layers of clothing, and a clenched jaw. Accompanied by a dark gaze, you can see the gears turning in his head.

“I’m not lying,” you blurt out, and can see the smirk crawl up his face. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Oh, really?” Jungkook mocks. “Then repeat what I wrote in the note.”

“You just said that my memory was like Dory yesterday. How do you expect me to remember?”

One more word, and you’ll break. It’s hard resisting Jungkook, and he’s way more stubborn than you are. The clink of the glass coffee cup interrupts his thoughts, though, and you breath a sigh of relief.

Safe, for now.

Taking a sip, you peek up from your lashes at the brooding man in front of you. His arms are crossed over his chest, but his gaze never leaves yours, following every one of your actions.

Unsettling.

“You didn’t open my gift,” he presses, the sentence more of a statement than a question. “Why?”

“Because.”

An eyebrow raises.

“You spend too much money on me, Jungkook.”

“I like spending money on you.” Ignoring what you said, he steals your glass and takes a sip himself, legs under the table tangling with yours. A distraction—this much you know. Today, though, you’re pushing through and getting what you want.

“But—”

“And providing for you makes me happy. Seeing you light up at the present I gave you, watching you unbox it or text me that you love it, having you thank me the next time you see me with that flush in your cheeks makes everything worth it.”

You can’t help it. Cheeks warming, you dip your head.

“Did something happen at work today?” He got like this when work was hard—harder than usual. There were days where it’d be taxing on his body, others when he’d be mentally drained by the world’s thoughts about him. Because somehow, everyone had an opinion about it.

Not that you could blame them—though you did, regularly cussing out much of the haters. Still, you understood what some admirers said when they felt distanced from him.

Even next to him, struggling to act like his friend, it felt like you were miles apart.

“It’s no big deal,” he rubs his jaw. “Just had to handle some PR things.”

A nod. As if you understand what he’s talking about. The fact that he had a horrible day is written on his face, and you feel awful that you’re rejecting the gift he put time in to give you.

“I just feel like I’m taking all your money. And that I’m not giving enough back to make our friendship balanced.”

There’s a moment of silence. A hand comes under your chin to meet his softened expression.

“Love,” Jungkook murmurs, and your heart starts to race again. It does, whenever he uses that name for you. “You giving me the time of day is enough for me. Haven’t I said that already?”

“Yes,” the word comes out forceful, more frustrated. “But can’t you see that I feel bad? For not giving you anything in return?”

“You said friendship wasn’t based on money.” There’s a slight curve on the side of his mouth, eyes shining with amusement.

“Don’t throw my words back at me! Just…” You blow out a breath. “Tell me what you want. Maybe I can fulfill your wish or something.”

You swear you’re hallucinating when his eyes dip to where your mouth is.

With a shake of his head and the corners of his eyes crinkling, he says, “Time. More with you.”

There’s finality in his tone. And you?

You accept the loss, lips pressed together.

Of course you don’t accept the loss.

Your stubbornness ran through and through. When you were little, Mom told you that going to Seoul University with your IQ level would be impossible. But it was your persistence—to sign up to every hagwon, to ditch your friends and come home studying, and to work hard for your dreams—that got you that acceptance letter. It wasn’t about giving up—it was about finding new solutions.

And of course, it has to apply to this situation. After the conversation with Jungkook, he actively avoided every time you brought up another gift he sent.

Today is the official day to return it. Not that you know how.

Or, well, you do. Parting with your gifts is the true issue at hand.

“You’re going to meet him?” Sara props her elbow on the counter, sipping a cup of coffee. Eyes flick to the clock hanging above the sofa.

“This early in the morning?” Her voice still has the morning croak, and she takes another gulp. There’s practically a bird’s nest on her head, and the bags under her eyes extends to her cheeks now. You probably look the same as her—you’re not a morning person at all.

“He says there’s no schedule in the morning today, just practice.”

“And you’re really going to return what he gave you?”

“Yes?” Not all of it, just the most recent one. Still, her question gnaws at you, and you press your lips together. Maybe you should return everything he bought you. In case he asks for it back.

“I say you keep it,” your roommate comments, and you know she’s hiding that smile on her face. “He clearly loves spoiling you.”

With a hesitant glance, your eyes dart between the neatly unwrapped present—another stack of books, signed by the author. An original edition. It made sense that he was able to get his hands on it—he was an international idol. Loved by millions. The part that messed you up was why he was spending money on you. Sure, he agreed to being friends, but that was because you practically begged him to be yours. And maybe it was all the people who were clout chasers that had him realize that friendship had to be based on money.

No matter how much he denied it, you could tell there was some naivety in him, coming into the idol life at a young age. And you wanted to prove to him that you weren’t one of those people, that your friendship could keep going even without the gifts.

“I think it’s better if I return it,” you mutter, but roam over the glare from the hardback cover. Last time you touched them, the pages were still a stiff, but it would loosen up once you flip through them thousands of times, memorizing every line. It’s almost a shame that you have to return them.

“If he rejects your offer,” Sara shrugs, “just remember that I told you so.”

At this, you snort.

“What!” She raises her mug. “We’ve lived together for two years and I’ve never been wrong when I called something.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” you retort, but clutch the bag tighter.

“This way,” the employee greets, walking you through the hallway as she opens the wooden door. It’s then when you catch the sight of him—idol Jungkook. And boy, is the air around him different.

Though he’s been confident since he met you, it’s as this version of him is multiplied. Following the instructor’s steps, his movements are fluid and his snaps are confident. As he runs a hand through his hair, his shirt rides up, and your throat goes dry. You knew he was fit, but to this degree… The pack of well defined abs, and the lean biceps that accompany it doesn’t erase itself from your mind.

And that gaze. The intensity of it does something to your gut.

Especially when it swings right at you.

“Y/N!” He calls, an easy smile slipping onto his face. Your eyes widen, and you falter, taking a step back as six other heads turn at the sound of your name. The bag in your arm lifts a little higher as self-consciousness wraps itself around you.

Here Jungkook is, shining like the star that he is. A towel in one hand, he wipes the sweat of his forehead. One head darts out to get a better look at you, and you don’t know what to do when his—Jin’s—eyes widen. It’s then when it truly hits you—the times you spent with Jungkook hanging out in your dorm, when the two of you went out for dinner and coffee, those were all fabrications. This is reality. The vast distance between you and Jungkook. An international idol and a poor college student.

“Hi,” you muster. His smile only widens to a beam and in long strides, closes the distance between you do.

“What are you doing here?” Your lips part, and you can’t help but stare at Jungkook’s abs—or at least, his cloth-covered stomach. No way do you let your gaze drift down to his muscular thighs. The exact ones that you sat on once.

“Can I have a moment alone with you?” You don’t need to have this conversation with his members around. Or the dance instructor.

“Sure,” Namjoon pipes in before anyone else can say anything. He shoots a nod to the maknae, and with a wary glance, the room empties. It’s the click of the door that has you freezing up again. Because it’s just the two of you.

Maybe it was better to have this conversation with the members here.

“Is this for me?” He motions to the bag, and his hand clasps your waist. As if he knows you were skittish around him. And of course, because you are, you squeak.

“Um.” The bag crinkles once it’s in contact with his chest, and you avoid his eyes. “I wanted to return the gifts you got for me.”

“You didn’t like them?” Eyes narrow, and he almost seems to be glaring at your hands. Oh no. He knows you’re in it to return them now. Knows that your eyes are dead set on making a point. You flush.

“No— I—” With a deep breath, you start again. “It’s not that I don’t like it. I love them. But I don’t need them. And I don’t want you to think that you’re obligated to buy me gifts just because we’re friends.”

“So you like them.” Oh God, he’s closer now. Your hands are curled into a ball, but if you spread out your fingers, they’d be splayed on his chest. From this amount of distance between the two of you, you can see the drop of sweat rolling down his cheek down to his neck.

And all you can think is: It’s hot here.

“Yes?”

There’s a twitch in his lip, and he leans in. “That didn’t sound like an answer, love. And you know I don’t like repeating myself. Hell, this conversation isn’t one that I should be repeating. Especially not in front of my hyungs.”

Love. You could die there and then.

“I do like them,” you whisper. “But—”

“So you’ll keep them and read them, yeah?” The firm tone leaves no open windows for an argument. A hand goes up to brush your hair behind your ear. “I bought them because I wanted you to be happy, Y/N. Believe it or not, I know that friendship doesn’t need to be based on money.”

Ugh. It’s the same, similar sounding guilt-tripping words he used last week. Now you felt terrible.

“I’m so sorry—”

“You’ll read them?”

All you can do is nod. Let out an incoherent protest when a hand on your back presses you right up against him. Chest to chest. In a swift motion, he turned you around, too, so that your back was right up against the wall, him against you.

“Good girl,” he breathes. “And you’ll watch me practice?”

“I—”

“You’ll watch me?” This time, he nibbles on the area right under your earlobe and sucks.

“Yes,” the slight whine in your throat comes out—one of surprise and embarrassment. Surprise because he’s never acted so, so… barbaric before. Embarrassment because this is how you responded. There’s a pained expression on his face, and your cheeks blush in embarrassment. He’s probably cringing on the inside that you threw yourself on him, especially when so many people do that every day.

“Good,” his tone is rougher, and you frown. Yeah, you definitely set him off. “And I think I found a way that you can repay me, too.”

“What?” You breathe, right before his mouth slants on top of yours. In an instant, you melt, hands tangling in his hair, body sliding down the wall. It’s his hands that grip at your thighs, releasing a moan when you tug a little too hard. When his cock presses right up against you, you whimper.

“J- Jungkook.” His mouth kisses along your jawline, down to your neck. His hips begins grinding against you, thrusting just right there.

“Fuck,” he groans in your neck, and you can feel the vibrations when he nibbles where your pulse is pounding. “I can’t wait any longer. Let’s fuck right here, love. Please.”

The desperate tone in his voice causes your gut to clench, and all rational thought leaves your mind when he whispers: “I bet you’re soaking wet for me, aren’t you?”

The broken moan you reply with is enough for his thumb to part your panties to the side and rub your clit. The touch itself causes you to grind down harder, causes him to thrust a little deeper.

“What am I going to say to my hyungs, hm?” He mutters, an index finger sliding inside of you. “Fuck. You’re so tight. Clenching around my finger, huh? In a time like this?”

“P- Please.” You don’t even know what you’re asking for, mind growing hazy. All you know is that when he pulls his finger out and slams it in your pussy again, this time with two digits, your head slams back into the wall with a gasp.

“Let me just eat you out right now,” he murmurs. “I’ll eat you out and fuck you later.”

“Someone will see!” You blurt, but can’t seem to stop wiggling. Grinding on the palm of his hand. Letting out little gasps and whimpers. You tell him to stop, but your body’s telling him otherwise. And the glint in his eyes tells you he knows it. That he has power.

“I’ve wanted you like this for so long. I don’t think I can stop now. I at least have to make you cum, right? Or I could…” He slips his fingers out, and watches as you squirm, lower lip jutting out.

“Look how wet you are.” There’s a sliver of cum dripping out of you, and in one, smooth motion, he crouches to lick it directly from the source. Another groan escapes you, and you’re not even apologetic when you cover his whole face.

“Jungkook, please please please.”

“You have no idea how much it turned me on whenever you asked for something,” he admits, and pinches your clit. His face in front of you blurs in a pleasurable haze. “When you said please and thank you, I wanted to fuck you so hard until you couldn’t want—right after I gave you your present. Because you like being spoiled, don’t you love? Even though you refuse to say so, even though you rejected the gifts I give you. You—”

Suck.

“Jung—” Just as quickly as he gave you pleasure, he takes it away. You’re in a broken mess, right about to sob, so close to begging. And you know he knows it.

“Love.”

Suck.

“Attention.”

This time, he devours you. His tongue licks and twirls, and you don’t even care that your skirt is ridden up, your lower half exposed. You’re chasing the last bit of pleasure, riding on his face, chanting his name like a prayer.

“Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook!” There’s a fire furling in your gut, your pussy clenching and a build-up of emotions climbing within you.

“Say you like my presents, Y/N,” he growls, and the vibrations add to your near climax.

“I like them! I love them!”

“Greedy girl,” he laughs. “Doing anything to get her orgasm.”

“Anything!”

“Date me,” he demands. It’s not a question—it’s an order—and with a final swipe of your cunt, you shriek, “Yes!”

The orgasm hits you, and your legs give out. Through the crash, Jungkook’s arms steadies you, and he leaves little kisses on your forehead. His hand—the one that did dirty things to you mere seconds ago—are now rubbing your back.

He coos, “You did such a good job, love. Such a good job.”

With a flush, your bury your head in his chest. In his thin shirt that you were clinging onto, alternating between the cloth and his hair.

“I can’t believe we did that.”

“Took us long enough.” The idol retorts with a grin. “I’ve been trying to get you to fall for me months ago.”

You blink. “That’s why you kept giving me presents?”

“Who else would I give it to,” he scoffs. “Jimin? The best gift I could ever give him is height, though that’s not possible.”

You release a giggle, and his eyes soften. “Promise you’ll date me.”

“You already asked.”

“I want to hear it again,” he counters back. But there’s hesitance in his eyes. It makes your heart expand and warmth flow throughout you.

“Of course I’ll date you, Jeon Jungkook.” You tilt your head up to give him a peck on his lips. “For your information, I’ve been liking you for a while, too.”

“Good,” he says simply, though the satisfying smirk on his face is there. “Now I can spoil you more with presents—no excuses.”

“More? It should be less!”

When he cradles you in a hug, arms wrapping around your waist, you’re content. At least, content enough to give him the upper hand again, for now…

“More. Definitely more.”

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE ELEVEN || NARROW-MINDED

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + nanami kento + ieiri shoko (mention of itadori yuji + kugisaki nobara + gojo satoru + roymen sukuna + zenin maki + inumaki toge + panda + mahito) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 12 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.0k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : idle transfiguration

↳ next episode : to you, someday

↳ barista’s notes : welcome nanamin kento to the series everyone ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ he’s finally in the series and i am so excited to write about him again since it has been a while ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ i hope you enjoy today’s episode and for the fushiguro x y/n shippers, enjoy this little interaction between them...

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“No reason, just worried about you,” Fushiguro mentioned, hiding his real intention of why he questioned your wellbeing, as continued to look at what was in front of him to avoid making eye contact with you since he could feel your eyes peering at him with curiosity filling them.

Sighing once again, you slap the back of his head causing him to groan since you put more strength than you intended to. “You shouldn’t worry about me Fushiguro, be selfish,” you commented before walking faster to be ahead of him, leaving him confused about what you had just mentioned to him.

“Be selfish?” Fushiguro muttered in confusion leading you to turn back to look over your shoulder before smiling at him.

“You were going to take me there right?” you asked, as you halted your movement causing the shikigami user to finally catch up to you while you had a lingering question in the back of your mind.

‘What was that dream?’

                                              ꕥ

“Didn’t I say you can head back to the track field, we’re literally a few steps away?” you asked, as you stood in front of the metal door leading inside to the infirmary while looking at your classmate with a fed-up look since he wasn’t listening to you once again.

“I said, I was going to take you here and now I’m going to wait for you here,” Fushiguro mentioned as he processed to lean against the wall, causing you to let out a sigh of frustration since you didn’t have the slightest clue on his sudden behaviour of him keeping an eye on you.

“If you’re still worried about my wellbeing, I’m okay Fushiguro,” you voice out trying to ease his worries, before turning your head to look at the door in front of you as you then entered the infirmary room the second the metal door slid open. “Thank you for waiting for me,” you quietly muttered to the shikigami sorcerer as the entrance that was going to block you both, slowly began to close leaving him on the other side, no knowing what was going on inside of where you were now.

Once you had entered the room, you quickly noticed that Ieiri was there twirling a strand of her brown lock with her ibex finger as she greeted you with a small smile, while another person - who you assumed was another sorcerer - who was beside her sitting on the metal bench while holding the side of his hip to lessen the blood loss from his wound.

From what you could observe, the male that was currently injured right now had bright blonde locks, which was strange since it was rare or uncommon for a Japanese person to have naturally light hair (since it didn’t seem dyed) causing you to assume the man had some European heritage. He also seemed to be on the older side compared to Gojo since he had somewhat of a more mature look to the strongest sorcerer that you had come to know but his outfit consisted of a blue dress-shirt with beige suit trousers as well as the professional dress shoes - what seemed to be missing was a blazer to complete the outfit.

“So you're the daughter that Gojo has been talking about lately,” the man mentioned, causing you to tilt your head in confusion since you had no idea who the man was, but he seemed to know who you were.

“Pardon?” you questioned politely since you were still in a state of perplexion, causing your mentor to giggle slightly before informing you that your teacher has been running around announcing his daughter after “keeping it a secret for 5 years” leading you to turn your head to the side and sigh once again in annoyance since you weren’t surprised that the playful sorcerer was parading your name around the facility but still it seemed a little creepy to you - just imagine him skipping around while telling everyone about you just seemed off...weirdly off.

‘What a drag…’

“Ah! I’ll heal you now since we don’t want to leave the wound open any longer,” you mentioned, as you made your way towards the sorcerer before placing your hands just above his wound while concentrating to allow your negative cursed energy to become positive which became easier over time as you kept practising leading Ieiri to be surprised on how much you had improved for the past few weeks.

“Gojo Y/N correct? I’m Nanami Kento, I would bow to be polite but that’s a bit difficult to do right now,” Nanami introduced himself, causing you to smile slightly before greeting him back.

‘So this is Nanami Kento? Shoko-san wasn’t kidding when she said he was a grade one, he does seem to be extremely skilled’

“Y/N, your theory was right about the technique used on those bodies, Kento mentioned that the technique reshapes the soul rather than the body of what we first thought,” Ieiri revealed to you, leading you to look up at the doctor with widen eyes as you hands managed to continue the healing process of Nanami’s wounds.

“Is there any way to stop the transfiguration of any sorts? Is there some kind of weakness to it?” you questioned, as you turned to the grade one sorcerer, leading him to nod as he turned to look at you.

“The use of cursed energy to protect your body is one way, but it will still cause some damage, besides that’s just a temporary solution since if we get hit more by this special grade curse, then that’s when our soul gets hit no matter how much cursed energy you put to protect yourself,” Nanami explained which lead you to look at him with a deadpan expression before you looked down to think of a solution to avoid any more casualties from this curse.

‘The only thing I can think of is Ryomen Sukuna...but Itadori is dead and there is no way that Sukuna can be inhibiting his body now anyways…my cursed spell could be a way to protect myself if it comes to the day I have to face him’

“Do you have a description of what the curse looked like?” you asked curiously since you didn’t know if you were even allowed to have any information on his mission - but you knew you had a chance since you and Ieiri examined the transfigured bodies from Kinema Cinema.

“The curse was human looking like, had patchwork around his face like it he was sewed together, he can transfigure is own body to how he likes to give him an advantage in battle,” Nanami explained leading a shiver to go up to your spine as you didn’t expect the curse’s description to be so human-like after Sukuna since you were completely used to other curses you had faced in the past, looking like what people feared - like the ocean animals, mountains, volcanos or even nature itself.

Steadily, you moved your hands away before asking Nanami to lift his shirt so you could examine his wound leading Ieiri to observe as well since she needed to make sure that your technique had been perfected as well as to make sure his wound was healed properly.

“Good job, I think you have nearly perfected it,” the doctor stated with a smile, leading you to turn to her with a bright smile on your face as you were delighted to have her approval leading her to mention that she will report your progress to Gojo since he wanted to know how you were doing with your training.

“You don’t call Gojo your father?” Nanami questioned since he had come to know from his senior that you have been his daughter for approximately five years now leading him to question why you didn’t call him as his parental figure position.

“I refuse,” you looked at him with a straight face as a slight hint of a ‘fed-up’ tone could be heard in your speech, leading Nanami to internally find the comment funny.

“Thank you for the treatment, but I must quickly head off to resume work,” Nanami declared as he slowly got up from his seat causing him to be surprised at how much your technique had actually repaired not only his wound by somewhat his whole body as well leaning him to peer at you for a second before walking out to head whatever he needed to be.

“Y/N, you can go now, if I need you, I’ll call you next time okay?” Ieiri stated to you, leading you to nod your head before announcing your departure as you processed to stand in front of the metal door, waiting for it to open as you then walked across the gap once it revealed the other side to you.

“You’re done?” someone asked, causing you to look to the side to notice that Fushiguro was still leading against the wall that he was waiting before you had entered into the infirmary to which you were surprised about since you thought he didn’t have the patience to even wait for you.

“You’re still here? Did you wait long?” you questioned, as you both began to walk back to the track field where Kugisaki and the second-years were waiting for you.

“Not really, it was actually quicker than I thought it was going to be,” Fushiguro mentioned causing you to nod along and you both became silent as you both didn’t know what else to say to each other.

However, that didn’t really bother you right now, what was bothering you was what happened before you even came here.

‘Why? Why was I dreaming that in the first place?’ you thought, as you looked down to the ground as if the answer was there for you to collect. However, you knew you would never get the answer if you didn’t make the effort to find it yourself, yet you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to know the meaning behind it. You just wanted to forget everything that happened in that dream. 

‘There’s no point in holding on to it, it would never happen’

“You okay?” Fushiguro asked, causing you to snap out of your thoughts before realising the shikigami user was no longer beside you but rather in front of you with a stern look on his face as if he was confronting you for somewhat giving him a white-lie.

‘He’s not going to let that question go huh?’

“I’m okay Fushiguro, how many times I got to answer,” you commented before moving to the side to continue walking, only for the erratic-haired sorcerer to block your pathway once again leading a flame of annoyance to be lit up in your stomach. “What’s wrong?” you asked, as you looked up to meet him eye to eye, only to discover a worried look on his face.

“There’s something bothering you,” Fushiguro muttered causing you to scoff internally before moving to the other side again, only for him to block you once again. 

“Fushiguro, I’m fine, it was just something silly that happened with Gojo-sensei that annoyed me, I’m genuinely fine,” you answered before suddenly grabbing his wrist - catching him by surprise - to pull him towards the direction needed to go back to the track field for training, as you didn’t want a full-blown argument happening between you and him. Also, you weren’t bothered to shout at him since you were still trying to comprehend what you had just experienced.

However, before you could pull Fushiguro further to where you both needed to be, you felt him halt his movement causing you to stagger back slightly since it was really unexpected. Turning your head, you looked at the sorcerer with slight confusion displayed on your face before noticing a hand coming towards you as a small flick made a light impact on your forehead leaving you frozen in shock.

“You can rely on me anytime L/N,” Fushiguro mentioned to you nonchalantly as he retreated his hand back.

“Dear, rely on me a bit more, I’ll always be here with you and sorry for flicking your forehead, does it hurt?” 

“You drag, don’t copy me!” you argued, before slapping his forehead causing him to groan in pain while you continued to pull him along to get back to training.

‘I want to, but I don’t want to be lied to again Fushiguro…’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋���

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse Infested

Corpse Husband & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of dysfunctional family, Family problems, Swearing

Genre: Humor, Comfort, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When your friend disappears for a long time, seemingly having lost interest in what fueled the most passionate fire in their life, you cannot not worry about them. Even if you wanna give them space, you will reach out, you will offer your help. You will tell them they always have you to rely on and talk to.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and if you do I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

For me, it’s never hard to find things to do. I’ve constantly got things on my mind and tasks to tend to, keeping me occupied and my mind focused at all times. I think that comes with living in a home as dysfunctional as this one. I honestly can’t recall a time when my parents got along nor can I think of a time where there was at least one second of peace while the two are both present in the house. It’s always a warzone up there. I’m saying up there because I tend to live out of the basement of their home. I know living in your parents’ basement is considered a peak loser point, or the bottom of the bottom, but you’d have to believe me when I say - I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I only recently came back to this hell-hole and boy do I regret it. I mean, it was a decision forced upon me by circumstances. Trust me, I tried every other option there was. When my dorm was to be closed down and demolished, we were given a notice to start planning our next move about a month early. You can bet I immediately started looking at places but my very tragic and miserable budget didn’t allow such a purchase. No rent was adequate for me and my near-empty wallet so my second option was moving in with my best friend who was also not in the greatest of situations but I thought I’d give that a shot too.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. She lived in a tiny apartment with her boyfriend and his best friend at the time, so four people in one apartment was a nightmare. Still a lesser nightmare than this one but a nightmare nonetheless. Some unwanted and downright traumatizing events chased me out of that place after barely managing to pack my stuff. Therefore, finding myself on the streets again, I had no other option other than the obvious and least liked one: moving back in with my parents.

Making money during my first year of college hasn’t been easy. Working two jobs at once and also streaming video games on the side was what my time was filled with all throughout the first semester but then this damn pandemic started and now ruined everything for me. I had things going for me, I was slowly getting my life together and now it has all fallen apart yet again. The places I worked at closed down due to quarantine and I haven’t been able to steam, not only cause I’d be the victim of my parents’ comments but also cause my terrible home life would be exposed to all my fans and viewers. It’s not like I could cancel out the commotion going on right above my head, it’s a livestream and this house’s walls are cardboard thin meaning all the arguing I hear almost 24/7 will serve as background noise for my streams.

I haven’t reached out to my friends or fans to inform them of this which I feel slightly guilty about but I’m really not looking forward to having to lie to them, just as much as I’m not looking forward to having to tell them the truth so instead I’ve picked silence which is probably either worrying them or driving them insane. Either way, I’ll make my comeback soon.

Well....not very soon by the looks of it...

I have to gather the money, then I have to find a place, then comes the packing, moving out of here, moving into the new place...oh God, there’s so much to it that I don’t even wanna think about. Just that thought that I’ll be inactive for that long makes my stomach turn. Streaming’s where I’ve been channeling all my negative emotions, turning them into something positive and entertaining with the help of my friends.

Speaking of my friends, I should probably put emphasis on how amazing they are. Basically the older siblings I’ve always wished I had. I’m the baby of the group, the eighteen year old freshman in college, powering through life the best they can cause they are constantly getting tripped up by inconvenient occurrences such as this one for example. I tend to have the gang poke fun at me quite frequently - all lighthearted and with good intentions obviously - but they are also the ones to get super defensive if anyone gets the balls to talk shit about me. They’d never allow me to be the victim of any smack talk or online rumors and ‘cancel culture’ or whatever the hell people will come up with to leave others restless and wondering if they did something shady a decade ago. Well, to be fair, I didn’t even know about the concept of social media a decade ago and I’ve never been one to post much but I still have a protection squad in case anyone decides to come after me.

Little do they know the people I need protecting from are the very people that are supposed to protect me - my parents. Luckily, they don’t venture into to basement very often if at all and I have my own exit to the outside world so I don’t have to run into them unless I absolutely have to. The only time I emerge to the surface of the house - aka the ground floor - I do so to leave my share of rent money on the dining table and I usually do it when they aren’t home or when they’re asleep - that happens often with how many bottles they each knock back on the daily.

*sigh*...at least I don’t have to talk to them, right?

Anyhow, remember how I mentioned I always have things to do? Well, right now I’ve tasked myself with rifling through the large boxes containing random stuff I found in one of the basements down here to see if there’s anything I could possibly sell online. For starters, I’d like to hope there aren’t any severed body parts in here because this was one shady-ass basement before I moved in and un-creeped it a bit so I wouldn’t have to become an insomniac due to the paranoia of there being a homeless person down here with me or some paranormal entity. Regardless, old basements tend to be, apart from haunted, also filled with junk no one would find valuable despite it actually being worth something after all. That’s basically what I’m hoping to find at the moment.

As I dig through the contents of the first box, the YouTube playlist I have put on on my phone cuts off causing me to furrow my brows in confusion for a second before my ringtone pierces the silence the lack of music created.

I quickly mute the ringing and take a look at the Caller ID to see a name I never thought would pop up on my screen as an incoming call - Corpse. I, as well as many of our friends, know that he’s not the biggest fan of talking to people on the phone so this is rather surprising. Still, I pick up the call in case it’s not a mistake and an odd chance that it’s somethin urgent cause Lord knows Corpse doesn’t call people willy-nilly. 

Thank God it’s quiet up there at the moment.

“Hello?“ I try my best to cover up the confusion in my voice but I can only assume I didn’t do the best job considering Corpse replies with a slightly awkward chuckle.

“Surprised you, didn’t I?“ He asks, getting my cheeks to redden a bit, “You can’t blame a guy for calling after up and disappearing on him and on the whole internet. Where’ve you been?“

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of glass breaking a shouted curse from upstairs.

Oh for fuck’s sake!

“Um...you know, places?“ I’m aware the answer isn’t only nonsensical but also sounds more like a question, but I can hardly focus on that right now. I’m too buys praying to an entity I don’t fully believe in for the situation above to not escalate.

“Uh, is everything ok over there? Where even are you right now?“ The teasing tone to his voice is all but gone at this point, replaced with deep concern, having obviously heard the commotion that did the exact opposite of what I prayed for - escalated.

“Y-yeah, it’s ok. It’s just another Thursday, you know.“ I attempt a small laugh but it’s blatantly miserable, “I moved back in with my parents when they announced the quarantine so that’s where I’m at now. They’re not the quietest of folks as you can tell so...“

“I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE“

Oh crap, here we go.

“...So I can’t really stream a lot...or at all.“ I mutter, cringing with all my might, “But it’s only temporary! I’ll get back in the saddle as soon as I find another place to stay.“ I don’t dare mention how long that’s gonna take me, it’ll be too disappointing and depressing for the both of us. “So yeah...um...thanks for showing concern but there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m ok, everything’s ok, things are just...a bit off the rails, but I’ll fix em no problem. Like I always do!“ I attempt to sound as cheerful as possible with little success due to the overwhelming anger I feel towards those people upstairs and the gut-wrenching nostalgia for the world of streaming I can no longer be a part of because of them. Actually, I put the blame first on the pandemic and second on my parents - if it wasn’t for Covid I’d probably still be in my dorm!

“Hey...um, I think I know an affordable place where you can take up residence. Only if you want to, of course.“ He sounds hesitant but I easily overlook that as excitement bursts throughout my entire being at the sound if an escape being offered to me just like that. Had I known I’d find the solution to my problem in the very people I spent time avoiding because I was afraid of their pity, sympathy and judgement.

“Oh please, it could be a rat and roach infested shoe box and I’d go running to it. How much is rent?“ I ask through a gasp of hurried laughter that’s a result of my inability to contain said excitement. Listen, I’ve been sitting here in Hellsburg for three months now and haven’t gotten a proper shuteye during that whole period, whatever Corpse is offering has to be better than this misery.

“Rent can be discussed once you move in...“ He trails off, “And it’s not rat nor roach infested but there’s a slight issue...“

“Which is?“ I’m honestly expecting the worst: in a bad neighborhood; faulty wiring with a high chance of being electrocuted; faulty piping with a high chance of flooding; people have died there; things get randomly moved around in the middle of the night etc. However, I don’t voice any of them to avoid getting laughed at for my wild imagination.

“Well, uh, it’s corpse infested.“ He says a little awkwardly, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh.

So my ‘people have died there’ guess was on point, huh?

“People have died there, huh? Well, I can turn a blind eye to that as long as I don’t find their bodies in the closet or meet their spirits at 3AM.“ I attempt to joke, now second-guessing my eagerness to accept the offer.

Corpse bursts out laughing his ass off at my statement, getting me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion and wonder what I said was so funny - it was a poor attempt at a joke, it in no way deserves that sort of reaction, barely a chuckle in my opinion.

“You’re golden, Y/N, I swear.“ He says once he forces the laughter to subside, “I meant corpse infested as in Corpse Husband infested.“ He breaks out in another fit as my brain slowly starts connecting the dots.

Oooohh he’s asking me to go live with him

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a sec. Are you aware of what you’re offering me? I mean, we’ve never met IRL, you barely know me and....and for all you know I could be the serial killer in this situation!“ I have no idea why I’m pushing my luck, don’t ask. I just don’t want him to make a decision he’ll later regret, I guess. “Like, I could kill you in your sleep!“

“Would you?“ He asks confidently, silently stating he already knows the answer.

I roll my eyes, “Of course not! But...” He cuts me off.

“Great, the offer stands on my end. I’m not a noisy nor nosey roommate so I suggest you start packing. If you choose to live in that hell-hole over living with me, I’m sorry but I’ll be hella offended, just so you know.“

Corpse sounds like he’s about to hang up on me, a decision already made, so I hurry to stop him. “Wait! What about rent?”

“Fuck the rent, pack your bags.“ And just like that, despite my efforts, he hangs up on me.

Well...this is a chance of a lifetime that I know refusing would lead me to not only remain stuck here but also put me in the hugest loser bin. There’s also the fear of being Corpse’s burden which I’ll try my best not to be - I mean, I’m a super independent person and Lord knows that if this offer came any other time or from any other person, I would’ve declined asap, no discussion.

But streaming

But sleeping properly

But having a normal life again

Yeah those are most certainly the reasons I get up and go into the closet in search on my emptied suitcase. Time to fill it up again, I guess. This time with a smile on my face and excitement fueling each and every movement of mine.

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[robininthelabyrinth]

Tedious Joys - Chapter 8 - END

- Ao3 link -

“You’re not going to like what we’ve decided,” Lao Nie said.

Lan Qiren could have guessed that from the way that the other man had marched into the room and promptly used Lan Qiren’s thigh as a pillow, primarily, Lan Qiren suspected, because he didn’t want to have to look Lan Qiren in the face.

It was a common tactic of his these days. The Nie clan had always been inclined towards tactile behavior and a certain lack of personal boundaries – personal information was too much to share, but apparently bodies were free game – and Lao Nie had very quickly transitioned from embarrassment to taking advantage of his newfound dependency on regular physical contact with Lan Qiren. Much to Lan Qiren’s relief, they had managed, with some experimenting and considerable effort on all parts involved, for Lao Nie to form a bond directly with the jade pendant. Now, as long as he carried the pendant, he was able to be by himself for a shichen or so without experiencing any degradation in his mental state – and that, in turn, enabled them both to separate and allowed them both some measure of privacy.

Unfortunately, after that shichen was over, Lao Nie would begin to become irritable and irrational again, his eyes slowly becoming bloodshot as the rage and resentful energy contained now wholly within him, rather than in the jade – in Jiwei, rather – began to need to be excised. Exercise and cultivation with a heavy training saber helped slow the effects, as did Lan Qiren’s musical efforts to calm and clear his mind, but Lao Nie’s cultivation was simply too high for it to last for very long. It was as if half his meridians had vanished overnight and yet he continued to cultivate as he did before; it was as if his dominant arm had been abruptly cut off, and yet he instinctively continued to try to do everything he previously could. He needed his saber to complete even a standard circulation of his qi, and short of suppressing his spiritual energy entirely (another experiment that met with some limited success, getting them another two shichen of time apart if they really needed it, but which was not a long-term solution given the unfortunate side effects), he had to have access to it.

Currently, that access was through Lan Qiren.

“If you’re warning me in advance, I’m quite certain that I won’t like it,” he said mildly, continuing to play uninterrupted. He wasn’t cultivating anything at the moment – the piece he was working on was actually a refinement of the music he’d inadvertently created in his grief at Cangse Sanren’s death, the one that had made his normally very stable nephews burst into tears, and he didn’t want to add spiritual energy to it until he’d worked out exactly how he wanted it to go. He reached an appropriate stopping place, noted down a few revisions to the score, and put his guqin aside. “You should tell me about it regardless.”

Lao Nie exhaled. “Well, good news first – the smiths have finally finished conferring and they’ve concluded that they believe it’s possible to try reforging Jiwei, so they’re willing to give it a try.”

“Good,” Lan Qiren said. He hadn’t really understood the spiritual weaponsmiths’ reluctance on the subject, but he respected their expertise as craftsmen, just as they respected his as a musician. “Once the saber has been remade, I can reestablish the resonance between them and, in theory, Jiwei should be able to use that pathway to return - and with greater ease, as she would be returning to her more familiar self.”

“Not that easy, unfortunately,” Lao Nie said regretfully. “Jiwei was shattered. To remake the blade, they will need to – for want of a better explanation – melt her down and start entirely afresh. It will be like having a wholly different saber, albeit with the same metal that she’s used to.”

Lan Qiren frowned.

“There, you see the issue. If it’s a new saber, the familiarity will be absent. We will need to work on reestablishing the resonance the way we did with the pendant, and that means –”

“Slowly.” Lan Qiren’s frown deepened. It had taken him years to establish that initial resonance, and knowing how it was done could only reduce the process by so much. “That is indeed a problem. I cannot stay here as long as that would take. In all truth, I am surprised that I have not already been summoned back by my sect…”

“Oh, you have,” Lao Nie said cheerfully. “A-Jue burned the letters and told the messengers to fuck off.”

Lan Qiren’s jaw dropped. “He did what?!”

“Did we not say? You’ve officially been kidnapped! Well, no, really it’s more of a hostage exchange situation, since they have A-Sang with them…oh, don’t look so horrified, Qiren,” Lao Nie said, starting to laugh. “Your sect elders have indicated that no offense was taken, under the circumstances.”

“Circumstances?!” Lan Qiren spluttered a little. “You’re not serious! What circumstances could justify one sect kidnapping another sect’s sect leader, acting or otherwise?!”

Lao Nie stopped laughing, the sound cutting off as if he’d been choked. “Yes, well,” he said, closing his eyes. “That’s the part you’re really not going to like.”

Lan Qiren determinedly prodded at Lao Nie’s shoulder until the other man, grumbling, sat up and took a proper seat so that they could have this discussion face-to-face. Their knees remained touching, which was good enough, and about all that the scoundrel deserved at the moment.

“Explain,” Lan Qiren ordered, and Lao Nie dipped his head into a nod.

“There are several relevant points,” he said crisply, dropping into the familiar pattern of a report. “First, Hanhan has clearly decided that he wants me dead –”

“Must you?” Lan Qiren interjected, even though he had not meant to interrupt.

“Oh, I must.” Lao Nie’s eyes were flinty. “He decided that if he couldn’t have me – and no one said he couldn’t, except his own paranoia – that if he couldn’t, no one could, and I’m not about to forgive him for that, don’t worry. But he’s still my Hanhan, my A-Han, underneath all his madness, and for my own sake, I’m not going to let anyone, whether him or me, forget it. No matter how necessary, some things have to hurt, and to their fullest extent...However, that’s not what’s relevant now. May I continue?”

Lan Qiren nodded.

“He wants me dead,” Lao Nie said, resuming his narrative. “Now that he tried once, he may try again, and I currently lack the capability to defend myself – the doctors, and you, have all agreed that I should avoid any excessive use of qi, and fighting a battle with a saber that isn’t Jiwei is a recipe for disaster in the best of times. I can’t exactly swing the pendant around, can I? Moreover, it may take years for us to establish the resonance, re-transfer Jiwei, and for me to re-familiarize myself with the new saber.”

Lan Qiren did not like the way this was going.

“There’s also the matter that I can’t be without physical contact with you for extended periods of time, and you of course have your responsibility to your sect,” Lao Nie continued. “Kidnapping you is, at best, a temporary fix. We will need something more permanent, and your sect elders have already indicated that they won’t let you marry out until your nephews are grown – and obviously we can’t wait that long, even assuming you’d want to marry me.”

Lan Qiren opened his mouth.

“Don’t say that you’d be willing to make the sacrifice to marry me, because even if you would, I wouldn’t. Putting aside the fact that you wouldn’t be happy leaving the Cloud Recesses and as much as I adore you, having been married before, I’m quite certain that I only want to marry my lovers, thank you.”

Lan Qiren had, in fact, been about to make an offer just like that, but he kept his mouth shut. They could discuss it at length at a later point.

“In short, the best solution to all of these problems, therefore, appears to be to allow events to play out as Hanhan would have wanted: for me to die.”

“You cannot be serious!” Lan Qiren exclaimed, abruptly furious. “After all the effort we put into saving your life, you would just throw it away?”

Lao Nie held up his hands. “Forgive me, I spoke unwisely – ‘do not take your words lightly’, right?”

Lan Qiren was usually very easily distracted by the mention of the Lan sect rules, but he resisted the temptation and glared.

“I didn’t mean I’d actually die,” Lao Nie said, and Lan Qiren’s shoulders relaxed a little. “Only that that would be the story we put out to the world. The process has already begun – that’s why your sect elders aren’t kicking up a fit about A-Jue being so rude to them about refusing to return you.”

“They think he’s in mourning,” Lan Qiren realized. “Whether actual, or merely preemptive.”

He could see how it might appear that way: Nie Mingjue showing up late in the evening, depositing a shaken and terrified Nie Huaisang, using up all the medical supplies in Lan Qiren’s personal possession, and then asking Lan Qiren to return home with him…

Due to Lan Qiren’s friendship with Lao Nie, Nie Mingjue had grown up especially close to the Lan sect; Lan Qiren had been his teacher, and in the end he was only fifteen, even if most people didn’t know that. Even in a world where Lao Nie could not have been saved, he might have refused to let Lan Qiren go home so quickly, seeking comfort from the sole familial authority, however informally constituted, that he had remaining.

“But Lao Nie,” Lan Qiren said slowly. “If you are supposedly dead, then Mingjue will need to become sect leader.”

Lao Nie grimaced, but nodded.

He’d been right about one thing, at least: Lan Qiren did not like what the Nie sect had decided.

He didn’t like it one bit.

“You know what that will do to him,” he said. He himself knew it better than anyone.

“I do,” Lao Nie confirmed, looking pained. “But it’s the best out of a short list of very bad options. If I stay on as sect leader in my current state, someone will kill me – probably Hanhan, but maybe someone else, one of the many small sects that have ambitions of taking the Nie sect’s place – and if that happens, A-Jue will have to become sect leader in truth, without my support. At least this way, I can act as an advisor, aid him with paperwork…that sort of thing.”

As much as Lan Qiren would have liked to argue, he didn’t have a good rebuttal to that.

Lao Nie’s position within the Nie sect was as secure as anything, and the Nie sect’s position as a Great Sect was nearly as unshakable, but there were always smaller sects looking to see whether that could change. If he were known to be so critically weakened...Wen Ruohan might not even need to kill him personally. He’d just need to wait.

And the rest was true, too. There were many things Lao Nie could do from a distance - his month at the Lan sect had shown that much - and having someone reliable to turn to for advice and hard choices was the ideal sort of transition for a new sect leader.

Still, the sect conferences alone would be horrifying, and those Lao Nie would not be able to aid Nie Mingjue with, even if he could help with all the rest.

He hated it.

But he couldn’t argue against it.

“Moreover, without the bulk of the responsibilities of sect leader on my shoulders, I’ll have more opportunity to focus on healing.”

That was true as well. Lao Nie had been hurt very deeply by Jiwei’s destruction. His cultivation had fallen, his usual cultivation pathway denied to him, his trust in his own mental well-being betrayed…in an ideal world, Lan Qiren would recommend seclusion for a few months, maybe even a year, for him to focus on reestablishing his connection with himself, re-centering his foundation so that he could climb up once more. But for a sect leader, that was impossible.

“Very well,” Lan Qiren said, although he made sure by his tone to make clear how much he disapproved. “I understand the basis for your decision.”

“I thought you might.”

“There’s only one flaw I see with your plan.”

“Oh?”

Lan Qiren folded his hands together in front of him. “You still need me, don’t you? Even with the excuse of mourning, Nie Mingjue can only request my presence for so long before the demands of my sect become paramount over their respect for his filial piety and grief.”

“Oh, we’ll let you go back eventually,” Lao Nie said with a shrug. “And I’d go with you.”

Lan Qiren had been expecting that. “And how exactly do you intend to keep the story of your death intact if you’re living with me at the Cloud Recesses? Even if we increase your tolerance such that you can stay home at all times, my home is often visited by my students, including those from other sects – and while there may be a rule against talking behind people’s backs, it is one of the most commonly broken.”

Lao Nie winced in a way that suggested both that he had thought of an answer to that question and also that Lan Qiren was going to hate it.

“Whatever you say, I cannot dislike it more than A-Jue becoming sect leader at fifteen,” Lan Qiren pointed out.

“I don’t know about that,” Lao Nie said. “Given that to this day you despise the smell of gentians.”

Lan Qiren’s brain came to an abrupt halt.

“Absolutely not,” he said.

“Qiren…”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s a good solution,” Lao Nie argued. “No one in your sect goes to that house – most of them don’t even know it exists! It’s within a short walking distance of your home, protected by arrays to enhance silence and protect privacy…”

“I am not locking you in He Kexin��s place!” Lan Qiren bellowed.

“You wouldn’t be locking me anywhere,” Lao Nie said, for once the reasonable and calm one in the face of Lan Qiren’s fury. “I would be going willingly, and I would be free to leave at any time. You’re not your brother, Qiren, and I’m not He Kexin – not least of which because I’m neither capable of nor interested in bearing two sons for you as a means of passing the time.” He paused, tilting his head to the side. “A bit of a pity, that. I’m sure they’d be cute.”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes at him, although the reassurance and humor had helped douse the worst of his terror at the mere idea. Irritatingly, it was a good solution: he had made the trek to He Kexin’s home hundreds of times and no one had ever raised any questions. In the unlikely event that they did so now, he could claim he was merely tending to the garden to maintain it for his nephews; more likely, however, they would simply not notice – the path between the two locations was short and purposefully discrete.

“You’ll need someone to clean the place,” he pointed out. “Even He Kexin had servants, and if you don’t want anyone from the Lan sect finding out about it…”

“I have some servants that are loyal to me personally, and which are not Nie sect disciples,” Lao Nie said. “They can seek employment at the Cloud Recesses on the basis that they didn’t want to remain here after I’d gone – literally true, if you think about it in a certain light. Your sect would snatch them up in a heartbeat.”

They would, too, even without Lan Qiren interfering: properly trained servants who knew how to serve cultivators were a precious commodity that often had to be raised up from a young age or recruited with great caution from the ranks of rogue cultivators, and ones with the skills and experience that came from serving at another Great Sect were even more valued than most. And once they were part of the Cloud Recesses, there would be no difficulty in Lan Qiren adding the task of caring for He Kexin’s house to their list of duties.

“It’s a good plan,” he finally conceded, and Lao Nie sniggered.

“You look as though you’ve bitten into a lemon, Qiren. Did it hurt to say?”

“It hurt to think,” he retorted, and turned back to his guqin. “Will you visit my brother while you’re there? He might enjoy hearing your voice and knowing that you are close.”

Lao Nie had always refused in the past, and he shook his head now. “Not all of us are as forgiving as you, Qiren. Qingheng-jun made his choices.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“He makes them again every day,” Lao Nie disagreed. “He may have declared that he would stay in seclusion for the rest of his life to make amends, but that was his decision. He could break his oath and come out, do the right thing, but he doesn’t want to.”

It was an old argument, and an unproductive one. Lan Qiren shook his head, signaling that he would no longer engage.

He had other things to be concerned with, and would for some time. There was helping with Lao Nie’s recovery, creating the new resonance, playing calming music for him, keeping his secret; he would also need to help support Nie Mingjue as much as possible during his transition to sect leader, whether through correspondence and advice or through active intervention during the discussion conferences. He would need to manage his nephews, who he had taught so carefully not to lie, and yet they would need to learn to keep this secret, too.

Taking care of Lao Nie would also be an additional set of duties, on top of being sect leader and being a teacher and being himself, but Lan Qiren didn’t mind it.

It wouldn’t be so bad, actually, now that he thought of it without prejudice. To have someone close by to take tea with in the afternoons when his nephews were too busy and it wasn’t the right time of year for students, someone with whom he could speak on any range of subjects, including his occasional frustrations with his sect, stories about his students, the political troubles of the day – a friend close by, rather than at a distance. Someone who would probably encourage him to take more exercise than he usually did, to try things outside of his comfort zone, someone who would listen to his ideas on music or the rules without judgment, someone who would share his burdens and support him…it would be a little like having a wife, but without all the inconvenient aspects that he so thoroughly disliked.

“It’s not too bad, as such things go,” Lao Nie said, his thoughts clearly moving along a similar line as Lan Qiren’s. “Whatever the world thinks, I’ll be the first Nie sect leader to live to enjoy a retirement, however premature.”

This was true.

“I’ll miss my boys, of course,” Lao Nie added. “But I’ll write, and you can invite A-Sang to your lectures when he’s old enough. A-Jue can come visit you, sect leader to sect leader…I wouldn’t be the first father to only see his children a few times a year.”

“Nie Huaisang will probably fail my classes,” Lan Qiren said, having been acquainted with the individual in question for some time now. A clever child, even very clever, but he was also lazy, hated reciting facts, and was as stubborn as a rock – as stubborn as his father. “You’ll probably have the joy of him for several summers in a row.”

Lao Nie smiled.  

“Well, I can’t say this was what I expected when I wrote to you for help all those years ago,” he joked, leaning down and playing with the jade token that now hung from his belt rather than Lan Qiren’s. Wen Ruohan would probably have a fit if he ever saw it – indeed, Lan Qiren was already looking forward to that day in the future, however distant, where Lao Nie would regain his saber and his former strength and re-emerge to make his feelings on the subject of Wen Ruohan’s actions clear. “But I’m still glad you came.”

“As am I, my friend,” Lan Qiren said. “As am I.”

[ozzy-bozzy]

“I know, baby. I know..”

Dabi x reader

desc. You have a rough time late at night

genre. Its has a sort of fluffy end but this is pure venting content.

warnings. cursing, self deprecation, insomnia, the inability to be comfortable in bed

word count. 1,456 words

A/N I had a rough night, and actually a rough reality recently. This is literally a vent fic, something I wrote to make myself feel better. This actually is almost a play by play for how my night went, from the switching positions to the comfort blanket. All except the comforting love of Dabi and a happy ending, that is. Dabi is a major comfort character, so that’s why it’s about him. Sorry if this is rlly depressing or concerning. I just needed an outlet to vent and I really wanted Dabi comfort. !! also sorry it get’s a little specific at times! I lost myself writing this !!

It was a little after midnight, Dabi laid next to you on his back, an arm wrapped around you with your head rested against his chest. His breathing was slow and steady, he had fallen asleep already. You hadn’t managed to fall asleep yet. You were too busy, too occupied with your own thoughts to even feel tired anymore. You stared into the nothingness of your dark room, nuzzling closer to his warm body. Everywhere but where you laid right now felt too cold to shift to before, but now that you were too painfully aware of the heat you started feeling uncomfortable. And the position just made you feel empty, or too used. 

You started realizing a lot of things in your life had become routine, and it made you feel sick. It made your head hurt, and it made you feel shitty because of how you let your everyday events blur together in a mess of nothing. You never did anything during the day, you were never productive. You slept in until almost noon, you went to bed in the early hours of the mornings, you eat way too much every day, you dream of projects and big successes yet can’t even manage to take care of yourself and do normal, daily hygiene tasks. 

You slowly began to pick yourself up off of Dabi, the blanket around you feeling cold. You untangled your legs from his, your hand dragging across his torso as you parted from him. He shifted slightly in his sleep due to the loss of contact but settled back down. You rolled over onto your other side. You curled up on yourself and had grabbed a small throw blanket from the floor. You didn’t need more heat, the coolness of the bed at night actually felt refreshing, but it was a comfort item and you felt the need for comfort right now. You tucked your hands in against your chest, your legs wrapped up in the heavy upper blanket. Your head nuzzled in against the plush pillow and you quietly sighed. 

Looking back on your previous thoughts you immediately scolded yourself. How could you be so harsh? Everyone is having a bad time right now. You remember that a lot of people are losing their sense of time, not being able to keep track of the days, and yet you still tell yourself how stupid you have to be to not be able to manage something as trivial as that. You have a sort of tug of war in your head, the new positioning somehow filling that emptiness you felt before, but you knew that wouldn’t last. It never does. It always creeps back into the comfort of your bed, the one place you feel safe and loved; comfortable. And yet you lay here, every night, letting it tear you to shreds. You never know why.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a strong arm wrapping around your middle, a messy head of hair coming to rest in the crook of your neck. He was warm against your back, and the heat from before felt comforting. It felt constant and still, unlike the thoughts running rampant through your head. 

“...why are you still awake, baby?” he mumbled into your skin. You just hummed and shifted a bit in response, burying the side of your face further into the pillow.  

“Are you okay..?” He asked after the beats of silence that followed his first question. The movement of your shoulders could have hardly been called a shrug, and you looked at him slightly. He shifted from your movements and picked his head up, looking at you properly.

“Baby what’s wrong?” His voice was rough and deep, the arm around your middle rubbing comfortingly on your skin. He slowly guided you to lay on your back. He was propped up next to you. 

“I... I don’t know. I wish I did but I don’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I have so many issues and I wish I was so fucking normal, I wish I was okay, I wish I was fucking fine but I’m not, and I can’t even get a good night’s rest, how fucked is that??” You bit your lip and sighed in defeat, rubbing your face with your hands. You felt your body tremble a bit and you mentally slapped yourself. You were not going to cry tonight, and not from something so stupid. 

“I feel useless. I feel fucking helpless. I can’t do anything right and when I finally let myself go and give myself a moment to splurge and indulge in my comforts it feels like they’re ripped away and I’m told how shitty I’m acting and how I can’t take care of myself. How everything I do for myself is ‘unhealthy’ or ‘messy and pointless’. And on top of it, all everyone else seems perfectly fine. I feel like I can’t even talk to anyone, hell I feel like I can’t even talk to my fucking therapist. She thinks I’m thriving and happy because I can never tell her how wrong I am because I’m so used to putting on a mask that when I go to talk to her I feel fine—“ Your ramble was interrupted by his hand squeezing your side. You’re happy he stopped you. You would have stopped you too. You wouldn’t let yourself keep going if you had the chance. You-

“Hey. Hey! Knock that off, baby I know you’re struggling but you have to stop getting so tangled up in your own words. I know you’re just spewing at the mouth right now, and that’s okay. But I want you to stop thinking about it or you’ll tear yourself apart. C’mere..” his hand slipped to the small of your back, pulling you against his warm body. Moments ago you found it uncomfortable and weird, but now it made you feel at home and loved. You felt safe being in his arms, pressed against him. You curled up to his chest, finding your surroundings feeling so cold now in comparison. 

“You know I’m always here for you. You know I’m here to make you feel better. We both have our struggles and never, never, will you be alone in them. I may not always know how you feel but I will never leave you to deal with those feelings alone” He kept his voice barely above a whisper, his head pressed against the side of yours. He was holding you as close as he could. You couldn’t tell if your body was trembling because of the cold or the feelings behind his words. You didn’t think it mattered.

“I’ve felt useless before, you know. I’ve thought ‘hey, what if the world was just better without me. What if I could actually do something right. Would someone be there to recognize it? Or would it just get lost in my head, left to get tangled up and ripped apart by my own twisted mind?” You curled up tighter against him, “But then you come in, and you shine brighter than the sun ever could. You show me everything is going to be okay, and I stop worrying, and baby—“ he stopped, pulling away slightly to press a passionate kiss to your lips, parting and resting his forehead to yours, “I want to be there for you. I want you to get wrapped up in my arms and all your toxic thoughts and whatever ails you is chased away” You swallowed roughly before tucking your head under his chin. 

You didn’t need to hear any more. Your tired brain swallowing up his words and mellowing out. You buried your head into the warm skin of his neck, focusing on the feeling. Effectively chasing away the cold, both in temperature and thoughts, you will yourself to eventually fall asleep in his arms, tangled up once again. He stayed awake this time, not slipping into a slumber until he knew you were okay. He was laid back on his back, you wrapped up even tighter in his arms. Instead of laying next to him with your head on his chest, you now laid on top of him with your nose buried in his neck. You couldn’t roll away from him now, and he would make sure you would be safe.

 You were always there for him during his breakdowns and times of need. You always made sure he was okay, and if he wasn’t you always found a solution. Sometimes temporary until a more permanent one could be found, but a solution nonetheless. He was determined to do the same for you.

You had not had such a good night of rest in awhile.

[hongjoongtrasher]

Goodbye baby goodbye

Genre: Angst (because we all like to hurt ourself), smut, fluff

Pairing: office worker!seonghwa x female reader, ceo!hongjoong x female reader, established relationship, lovers to ennemies.

Other: little brother!jongho, best friend!yunho, colleague!yeosang, roommate!san, office worker!mingi, manager!wooyoung.

Warning: cheating, betrayal, manipulations, protected sex (be safe kiddos).

Notes: Purely for entertainment and this is the first time I’m writing about ATEEZ, please have some mercy on me xD. No idea about the words count. Triggering themes will be add along chapters.

Summary: It all began when your now 4 year-old boyfriend Seonghwa had an invitation to his entreprise’s party. Surprised to hear you could tag along, you met Kim Hongjoong, the CEO and close friend of Seonghwa. Rumored to be a playboy, the rich boss of your boyfriend is determined to add you to his conquests.

Masterlist

« My boss told me you were also invited » claimed your boyfriend while picking a piece of cake with his fork. 

This made you drop yours as your eyes widened from the surprise. Park Seonghwa has been your boyfriend for four years now, and he was working at a powerful enterprise, headed by a young CEO. It was hard to say you knew this enigmatic CEO since you never met him, but Seonghwa was close to him, that’s all what you knew. 

« Me ? » you asked, unsure about the matter. 

Your boyfriend nodded, confirming his previous statement. Every year, KQ Enterprise was holding a party with their employees to congratulate them whom worked hard and contributed to make it a great place to work. You were definitely proud of your boyfriend’s hard work since he was respected and loved by his colleagues, which brought him to be a manager of a whole department there. 

« Yeah. We can bring one person, so…I thought my girlfriend would have liked to tag along. » he chuckled lightly, taking your hand in his on the table. « Y/N, you’ve been by my side for a while, and you know better than anyone how much I worked hard there. That’s why I want you to come. » he explained, making you nod softly.

That’s how you were invited to the reception. Unlike your boyfriend, you weren’t working in a famous enterprise. You were still studying at university and also working part-time at a local restaurant, that’s why you couldn’t do much for him except listening to his complains when he had some, or just being a supportive girlfriend. You two met at your last year of high school. Seonghwa was quite popular back then, but you never really grew interested in him until he helped you one day at the library. From the top of your toes, unable to reach the damn book you wanted, a large hand reached it to slowly takes the book out. It was probably cliché, but probably because you were yourself, he had begun to slowly reach out for you, being first a friend and after a boyfriend. 

« Are you sure though ? » you asked, lacking of confidence about it. « I’ve never attended such an event before- what if I do something wrong ? »

« Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Because you’re my girlfriend » he reassured you before taking your hand to his lips. 

« If you say so… » you answered back with a sweet smile. 

This day, you were enjoying a date at a coffee shop. You were glad Seonghwa’s taking time for you both, making sure to go out or just even spending time together. But this time would be different. It was a matter of work for him and you were just required to stay with him. But somehow, you were worried. Not worried about him, but about you. As you said, you feared that something would happen because of you. 

Suddenly, your phone rang. You looked at it as the name « Lil’ bro » appeared on your screen. You mumbled a « sorry » and stood up while taking the call. 

« Hey Jongho, what’s up ? » you exclaimed, going away not to bother anyone around here.

« Hey noona, are you in town ? » answered the other male. 

Jongho was your little brother. Literally your blood brother. Somehow, he was the youngest from the family, but surely the manliest, wisest and sweetest boy you knew. He was doing his military service at the moment but took time to call you wherever he could which made you thankful toward the youngest. 

« Yeah, I’m on a date with Seonghwa at the moment. But it’s alright. What’s up ? » you answered with a cheerful tone. 

« Oh, sorry I didn’t know…but I’m going to be discharged soon you know ? » 

« Of course, how can I forget it ? » 

« As expected » he chuckled for a moment before pausing some seconds. « I…was wondering if you could help me ? Cause I’ve found a job right after, but I don’t want to bother mom and dad so, if I could …like live with you for a while… »

« Mhhh, well it’s not that I don’t want to, but I gotta ask San, since I’m not living alone. »

You weren’t living all by yourself. Living with your parents wasn’t convenient for your studies as they were living quite far from the university, so you searched for an apartment to rent but the prices were incredibly high. And then you found San, another student. He was also in need for a place to stay since he couldn’t rent a whole place for himself. At first, you weren’t sure about living with a boy, but your roommate reassured you by saying « Don’t worry, nothing will happen between us if it’s what scaring you. I like boys you see ? » Such an extravagant guy, but yet so loving and sweet. That’s how you began to live with San. And until now, every thing was alright. 

« Sure, let me know about it okay ? » 

« Yes sir ! I’m sure you’re killing it out there, but don’t overdo it alright ? »

« Well, I’m not the baddest dude here, but I may be out of the top ten ? » he laughed, a bit shy to say it himself.

« Ooooh, as expected from my little brother. » 

« I will call mom and dad, so I gotta go. Love you noona. »

« Love you too. »

The « beep beep » at the other line indicated the call ended. And it’s with some relief that you came back at your boyfriend. Jongho and Seonghwa knew each other, and your little brother liked him. So you didn’t hesitate to share some news from the youngest. 

« It was Jongho. »

« How is he doing ? » asked Seonghwa, with a genuine interest.

« Great ! Actually he’ll be soon discharged, and he asked me if he could temporary live with us as he found a job after his mandatory service. »

« Already ? Wow, he doesn’t waste any time. » said Seonghwa with an impressed tone. 

« I know right ? But he’s always been this way, I’m glad he knows what he wants. »

You discussed a bit more about your brother and finished your cake and coffees. Hands in hands you headed outside, the sky becoming grey with menacing dark clouds. Rushing to the subway, you both got inside. 

« So I will pick you up Friday night. For the party. » he began, going back to the event.

« Alright…Wait, is there any dress code ? » you asked suddenly panicking because your student ass was probably not the best in clothing category. 

« Erm I’m not sure ? So far I never really paid attention to this since I’m always in suit. »

You sighed and prayed God to have mercy on you. You were practically sure of yourself: you hadn’t anything which would made you elegant in your wardrobe at the moment. 

« Y/N, don’t panic. I will find a solution okay ? » he said while taking your shoulders to make you face him.

You looked into Seonghwa’s eyes and nodded, slightly defeated by this idea of letting your boyfriend help you for an outfit. 

In front of your building, your boyfriend pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead and smiled at you.

« I’ll text you later. »

« Thanks for today Seonghwa. »

« My pleasure » he smiled more before leaning to finally kiss your lips, which made you answer to the kiss. 

As you walked into your shared apartment, you could hear San’s laugh emanating from the living room.

« I’m home ! » you said carefully, taking your shoes off.

« Welcome back Y/N » San’s voice answered, discovering the pink haired boy playing his console with snacks around him. 

« You haven’t moved since I left ? » you asked in an astonishment. 

San paused his game and turned around to give you a sneaky smirk. 

« I did, I went to the toilet, I went to the kitchen to- »

« That’s not what I meant » you paused him with an amused voice.

« Come on’ Y/N, I studied like a monster these days ! I had to play to relax. »

« Yeah yeah, be careful not to play too much »

« Yes mom…But anyway, how as your date with your charming prince ? » 

You sat down on the couch with your roommate, watching him play while you talked about the famous party Seonghwa asked you to attend. As you were telling him about the thing, his eyes widened and he paused his game again. 

« Wait, you’re talking about KQ Enterprise’s party ? »

« Yeah…How do you know ? » you arched a brow.

« My boyfriend works there too and he told me about it, but I refused to go. » he answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

« Wait a minute ! I thought your boyfriend was working in a bar ? »

« Y/N, it was the previous one. »

You rolled your eyes to the ceiling. You gave up about San’s love life as he was changing often.

« Okay, but since when have you been dating this guy huh ? And why you didn’t tell me ? You know Seonghwa’s working there as well »

« I forgot ! Anyway, he asked me to come too but nope, not my thing. »

« Please San, go with him ! I don’t want to go alone ! » you begged your friend.

« You won’t be alone, there’s charming prince with you »

« It’s different ! » you claimed « He’s working there ! I will feel like a stranger there, and gosh, imagine if I do something wrong ? Ugh »

« Alright alright, I will talk about it with Wooyoung » he sighed, defeated. 

« I love you San ! » you laughed, feeling victorious. « And, the name’s Wooyoung ? »

« Yeah, he’s the manager of I don’t remember which team »

The world was so small you thought for a while before you thought of Jongho.

« By the way, my brother will soon be discharged and he asked me if he could live with us for a while before taking his own place ? »

« Your brother ? Jongho ? Ooh he’s going to be soon discharged already ? Of course he can, I don’t mind. »

« Nice, I’ll let him know »

You were really glad you were going along with San and so he was with your own acquaintances. You thanked him again and went to your room. Some days passed by, and Seonghwa texted you but never talked about the famous party which made you frustrated because you were literally searching for something elegant but not expensive, which was impossible. Until one day when you came back home after your classes. 

« Y/N ! You received a package » said San while passing by to his room.

« Me ? But I haven’t ordered any thing ? » you mumbled, intrigued.

San shrugged and joined you to the living room where the so called package was here on the table.

It was quite big, nicely wrapped in a white paper and black silk ribbon. 

« Open it » suggested San, curious. 

« Hey, wait, don’t you think it’s weird ? Are you sure it was for me ? »

« Are you Y/F/N ? » asked San, ironically. « Cause that’s what the delivery man asked, so I said you lived here and he left after shoving me the package. »

After a moment of hesitation, you unwrapped the package to discover a black box. You opened it to discover a pink beige dress and honestly it looked so expensive that your poor salary of part timer couldn’t even pay a quarter of it. San’s eyes widened so as yours. 

« Wait- Who is it from ?! » a bit panicking on the spot.

« I don’t know ! The guy hasn’t told me ! »

You picked up the dress to look at it closer, and gasped when you saw the brand inside.

« San- I think I’m going to faint…Yves Saint-Laurent. Can you see ?! »

« Y/N, I don’t wanna make you panic more, but look there is a card inside. »

He pointed a silky white enveloppe you took quickly to open it. 

« Dear Y/N,

I heard you were worried about the dress code of the party. Here’s a present for you. In hope to see you soon. 

CEO Kim Hongjoong. »

There was a big silence in this room, your roommate and yourself looking at each other in disbelief before San opened his mouth and closed it, probably too shocked to say something. And so you were. Why did your boyfriend’s boss sent you this dress ? And how did he know ?!

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Generosity

And we’re starting off the Mirio scenarios with a delicious serving of Alpha Mirio~

Boy oh boy was this fun to re-read, I hope you all enjoy!

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

 You frowned silently, stopping in front of your front door to look behind you at a grinning Mirio; it was a frustrating situation really. You had spent the entire day out with Mirio on his day off, accompanied by his friends Tamaki and Nejire; which wasn’t a problem, they were great and you had a fantastic day, right up until an hour ago.

 That was when your difficulties had begun. Mirio had entered his rut and though he hadn’t said anything about it, you could smell it and it was driving the omega in you insane. A problem made worse when he insisted on walking you home since it was both late and dark out; while you could understand his reasoning, understanding did nothing to actually help with that discomfort you felt.

 Having to pretend like you weren’t dripping just from the smell of your alpha friend.

   “Something wrong, (Name)?”

   You let out a soft whine, turning to face your front door while smacking your head against the hard surface, infuriated with how clueless he was pretending to be. He was too good of an alpha to push his problems onto those around him, so of course, he was falling back onto his innocent act.

 “Mirio…” You trailed off softly, lifting your head to look at him once more, chewing on your bottom lip while you tossed around the words in your head, debating how best to approach the subject. You didn’t want to offend him, nor did you want to risk your friendship with him; however, he was in a rut with no partner and you, an omega, the perfect solution for his problem, were aching to be filled with a knot. All because of him and his stupid, frustrating rut.

 “…I know, I’m sorry” He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly, his grin fading to a half-hearted smile. He was already aware of the problems he had caused you; it was just one of the reasons he insisted on taking you home.

 Mirio would feel terrible if something happened to you because of something he had caused.

   “If you want…you can come inside, we could help each other out?”

   Your face burned as the words fell past your lips, it was too late to take the words back, even if Mirio did look like you had just slapped him stupid; apparently, he hadn’t been expecting that to be your first reaction.

 Then again, it wasn’t technically your first reaction, you had been smelling his rut for a while now; multiple thoughts and scenarios had gone through your head, it could be the reason you were actually brave enough to offer your help to him.

 “Ah, are you s-” You cut him off with a dirty look, you weren’t in the mood for unnecessary hesitation; you were in the mood to experience his rut.

   “If you ask me ‘are you sure this is what you want?’ or anything similar, I won’t speak to you for a month.”

   He closed his mouth quickly, nodding his head in understanding before moving so that he was pressed up against you from behind, his lips ghosting over your scent gland; pulling a soft gasp from your plump lips.

 “Then open the door, (Name), before I knot you right here and now” He paused, grinning against your skin while his arms wrapped around you, keeping you tucked up against his muscled chest; stirring up every single omega instinct inside of you.

 “I’d do it, you know? Right here…fuck you so hard, you’re screaming for more and then the neighbours would come out, see you getting fucked senseless and loving every fucking second of it” He growled out, his words filled with promise while you fumbled with your keys, somehow managing to get your front door unlocked and open; it didn’t matter how appealing that threat sounded, it wasn’t a sensible idea.

 Not for you, nor for the pro-hero.

   “Oh? Inside it is”

   His cheerful tone had your head spinning, from a growling alpha behind you to a happy-go-lucky friend in less than a second was a little much for you to process; though, it didn’t help that his scent was clouding your mind.

 If you weren’t careful, his rut would stir your heat prematurely and that, would be a dangerous situation for the both of you. You might even end up bonded to one-another and while you wouldn’t complain, you weren’t so sure Mirio would be of the same thoughts.

 “Come on, no backing out now” Mirio hummed as he pressed his hand to the small of your back gently, giving you the push forwards that you needed; spurring you to turn and drag him into the apartment with you, a giggle spilling past your lips as he kicked your door shut.

 “You little giggle pot” He chuckled, pulling you up against his chest before leaning back against the door, his lips claiming your own in a heated kiss, quickly stealing your breath away with little care.

 Mirio grinned against your lips when you moved your arms around his neck, pulling him as close to you as possible; uncaring if it was strange, even in your current situation. If you wanted him close, you would have him close; after all, you were about to have his knot inside of you. A little contact wouldn’t kill him.

 You hoped.

   “As much as I’m enjoying the taste of you on my lips,”

   Your face flushed as he spoke, finally pulling your head away from his so that you could stare up at him, curious as to what he had to say to you in such a moment. Though you wished he hadn’t interrupted the kiss like that; while you were technically helping him with his rut, you were also enjoying having the opportunity to pretend your buried feelings weren’t one-sided.

 “I’m only just barely holding on to my sanity. This isn’t a casual fuck (Name), this is instinct driven and today, you’ve agreed to be my omega for my rut…” He trailed off with a smile, his large hand cupping your cheek with a gentleness you weren’t quite expecting from him during his rut, not that you were complaining.

 “You understand, right? Good” He turned you away from him as he spoke, his voice sounding uncharacteristically strained, almost like it was taking every last drop of willpower he had not to fuck you right then and there. You didn’t bother arguing with him, instead taking off into your apartment; seeking out the room that gave you the most comfort. Your bedroom. A room that no alpha had been invited into, until now.

 Mirio was hot on your tail as you made your way into your bedroom, his low growls of appreciation thunderous in your ears as you stripped yourself of your clothing; complete with a cheeky little butt wiggle while you crawled onto the soft mattress.

 “You know, I think you’re going to look good with my knot buried inside of you” Mirio groaned out as he crawled onto the bed behind you, having already used his quirk to get rid of his clothes, his hard, aching cock rubbing up against your dripping folds, pulling a soft whine from your plump lips; the mere sound of you the final straw.

 Large hands closed around your wrists, pinning them to the bed in front of you while he pushed himself inside of you; your hot, welcoming body making him curse out loudly. You weren’t entirely sure if you should scold him or ask him to treat you as if you were actually his omega, so instead, you settled for whining out his name softly while rolling your hips back hard.

 It didn’t take long before Mirio was leaning over you completely, his larger form pushing you into the mattress while his hips moved at a merciless pace; his body and mind completely driven by his rut. You could do little more than whimper and moan out his name beneath him, pinned to the bed, helpless and ravaged by the man you wish you could call your permanent alpha.

 Instead of that, however, it was a temporary agreement; one that you benefitted from, so it wasn’t too bad of an agreement. Just, a temporary one.

   “Fuck…you feel so good wrapped around my cock (Name), such a good omega, taking it so well”

   His praises had you pushing your hips back in time with his thrusts, soft whines spilling from your lips while you worked for his approval; your instincts driving you to do anything and everything possible in your current position to make him happy.

 Your dream alpha.

   “Oh? You like that? Hearing your alpha praise you?”

   His questions had you squirming, quiet and almost inaudible answers falling from your lips while he buried himself inside of you over and over again, his thick cock rubbing against your sweet spot without even the shortest of breaks; it didn’t matter how broken you were beginning to sound, with your choked out moans and soft pleas for him to fuck you slower, it all fell on deaf ears.

 Mirio was far too busy enjoying your body, his hands having moved from your wrists long ago to instead settle on your soft skin; groping roughly, wanting to hear more of your sweet noises. Noises only he could stir up from inside of you.

 You pressed your head down into the bed more as you felt a familiar pressure build in the very pit of your stomach, many lonely nights with various toys having given you enough experience to know that this was your orgasm approaching; though it felt stronger than any other time previously.

 Maybe it was because you had an alpha fucking you senseless, or maybe because it was Mirio specifically; you weren’t entirely sure. All you knew was that you were screaming out Mirio’s name at the top of your lungs while your walls clamped around his throbbing dick, pushing him over the edge moments later.

 Your cries of pleasure only grew louder as Mirio rutted his hips up against yours roughly, somehow managing to push his large knot inside of you while it swelled up into its full size, faint dribbles of his hot, thick cum managing to slip past his knot and down your folds onto the bed below; but you didn’t care.

 All you cared about, was how good it felt to be knotted by mirio for the first, but hopefully not the last, time.

   “Fuck…you feel good, so good”

   Mirio groaned against your ear, his body heavy atop yours while you squirmed into a comfortable position on the bed, deciding to just enjoy the feeling of his thick semen filling you for now; especially since there was little else you could do.

 “Mm…full…” You hummed softly, closing your eyes while you lost yourself in the feeling of his warmth; his deep chuckle the only thing able to stir your mind back into thinking properly once more.

   “That’s right baby and you’re only going to get fuller from here. That was a single, quick round…I have so much more in store for you.”

[hwalloween]

Rainy Days (YuSan X Reader)

Pairing: Boyfriend!Yunho X Reader X Boyfriend!San 

Synopsis: Rainy days weren’t your favorites, but that one took the trophy. Thank god you had Yunho and San to help out. 

Genre: Fluff fluff fluff, a tiny bit of crack

Word Count: 1.7k

Warning: Poly Relationship, just a lot of gushy mushy stuff, mention of period stuff, some swearing, there is nudity but it’s just really UwU

Tag: @galaxteez​ you said you’re in your period so 

A/N: This is the fluffiest I can get before my filfthy brain gets in the way. This is for all the people that are in their period now, I feel you baby 

Rainy days weren‘t definitely your favorites. The thunders and storms, swings on the internet, the inability of going outside and doing something much better than just staring at the TV. Everything about it seemed to make you down. But that rainy day, that was the worst of the worst. 

Laying on the couch, you were in a fetal position, eyes closed, hands together on top of the low part of your stomach, mind too busy to care with anything else but the pain. Oh the pain. If dying inside could have a sensation, you were pretty sure that would be it, a stabbing pain of a thousand knives running through your entire body, concentrating just on your most sensitive part. For your misfortune, you had woken up on your period, and as if destiny had decided to mock your face, there were no painkillers in the kitchen, which made you get even grumpier. The only solution by now was just lay somewhere and cry while the solution didn’t appear at your door. 

But you weren’t suffering alone, oh no, a period cramp is a collective cramp. Your boyfriends were also having a hard time, not by trying to please you, but by seeing you suffering without being able to do much so. Yunho was by your side, gently rubbing your back and frowning each time you moaned out of pain, wondering if there was something he could do. San was long gone, having left the house to get groceries for what was supposed to be a movie night, but had become more of a horror movie itself. Rolling in your back, you stared at the selling with teary eyes, the cramps were undeniably hard that day. 

— Hey, come here - You heard Yunho speak up, groaning just at the thought of having to move a single finger. Chuckling lightly, your boyfriend involved your body on his arms, pulling you off the couch and placing you on his lap, hugging you tightly as you hide your face on the crook of his neck, smelling the fresh perfume he had. 

— I know you’re in pain, San is buying everything you need. But in the meanwhile, is there anything I can do? - His puppy eyes stared at you with worry, hands rubbing your lower back to try and sooth you. 

— I don’t know… - You moaned quietly, putting your cheek against his broad shoulders and looking back at him with even puppier eyes - Can you magically take the pain of me? 

— No… - He said quietly, a sad tone coating his voice. Biting his lower lip, Yunho looked around the apartment, trying to find a temporary solution. As if a light had clicked upon his head, he picked you up, legs around his waist, and carried you all the way over to the kitchen, placing you on the counter top and moving to the shelves. Losing the warm contact with Yunho made you pout, bringing your legs to your chest and resting your face on your knees, they weren’t wrong when calling you their little baby. 

You got curious when you saw Yunho grabbing two mugs, then going to the fridge and searching for something. Just as you were about to ask him what he was doing, a painful cramp hitted you, making you close your eyes shut due to the pain and hug your legs even more, whining and sobbing a little, that was a nightmare. 

— Hey, got you something, I guess - Looking up, you saw your boyfriend holding one of the mugs, specifically your mug, and you could see a little bit of steam coming out of it. Grabbing gently, you noticed that there was hot cocoa inside, the little bubbles popping themselves and disappearing. That put a little smile on your face, looking back at the tall boy in front of you, that wrapped his arms around you and gave you a gentle peck in the lips.  Just as you were about to give a little sip, key sounds were heard, the front door then opening and revealing a soaked San with grocery bags. He waved one of the bags, a little one, a tired smile appearing on his face. 

— Got the painkillers, and some other stuff - He said with a chuckle. The solution had, indeed, appeared in your door. Kicking off his shoes and entering, you could see the droplets of rain all over his jacket and jeans, his hair all wet and sticking to his forehead. 

— Just in time, Y/N was about to drink something - Yunho said, looking at you with a little smile. God you loved your boyfriends. San came to the kitchen, placing the groceries by your side and then stuffing his hand inside the small bag, pulling out three medicine boxes. 

— I didn’t know how much you needed, so I grabbed three just in case… - The younger said shyly, handing over one of the boxes to you. You grabbed his arm as he did, pulling him lightly and then giving him a loving kiss, thanking for his effort and thoughtfulness. Popping one of the pills out, you put the medicine in your tongue, giving a big gulp of the hot cocoa and swallowing everything together. It burned your throat lightly, but was worth it to feel no more pain in the next couple of hours. 

— Gosh, I think I need a shower - San commented, looking at himself. He was, indeed, soaking wet, which you would normally think was hot, but in that context, could get him a cold. 

— I could make a use of one too… - You mumbled, sipping on the drink and thinking. Maybe a shower could get all the yucky feeling off of your body. 

— Let’s all go together, this way the bill is smaller - Yunho concluded, using his strong arms to get you off of the counter top. 

— Can we all fit in the bathtub? I mean, the shower barely holds tw- - San began, but Yunho fastly shushed him, putting a finger on the younger’s lips and shaking his head. 

— We can fit there, that bathtub is more powerful than you think - You and San looked at each other questionly, then looking back at the tall boy - I’ll go grab the clothes, you two to the bathroom, now.

Without missing a beat, both you and San moved to the bathroom, a shiver going down your spine as soon as a little bit of clothing started to come off. It was rather cold that day, so your skin had goosebumps all the way over to your toes, hands slightly shaking as you took off your pajamas and placed them to the side. San, on the other hand, was already naked, checking the temperature of the water, making sure it was warm and nice for you. No matter how many times you saw them without clothes, San’s and Yunho’s body still amazed you, the fine lines and curves of them being more than eye-candy to you. Sitting on the rather large tub, the dark-haired boy motioned for you to come, guiding you to sit on his lap. 

— Harsh day? - He asked, placing his chin on your shoulder, arms sliding around your waist and holding you dearly. You confirmed with your head, letting yourself rest against his body, hearing the door opening again and a tall figure come in with some comfy clothes. Yunho joined both of you in the bathtub, the warm water tickling your skin and bringing a good sensation — Y/N - You looked up, facing San’s sweet gaze - Can I wash your hair? 

It wasn’t much before San’s fingers were massaging your scalp, making you feel sleepy as you slumped against him, feeling Yunho massaging your feet and legs on the other side of the tub. If heaven had a feeling, it probably was that one. You heard some giggling, looking back at the tallest of your three and seeing that he was holding back a laugh, putting his hand over his mouth to conceal the sound. Yunho must have seen how confused you looked, so he motioned back to San, who was also holding back a laugh. 

 — Yah! Why are both of you laughing? - You said, earning more laughs from both your boyfriends. 

 — Maybe you should look in the mirror, Y/N - Yunho said, grabbing a hand mirror that was in the sink close to his side. When looking at your reflexion, you finally saw what was the fuze about, and you hitted San’s chest, making him laugh even more

— Why did you make horns with my hair, San?! - You splashed water on his face, seeing as he stopped laughing and throwed water back at you, accidentally hitting Yunho and starting a water fight. If the bathroom was clean, it wasn’t anymore. Your faces were all wet, and bubbles were flying through the room, the pain you had on your body was long forgotten as your hands fluffed your hair, taking off the horns. Yunho was the first to leave the bath, offering you a hand and helping you out, while San also got up and put a towel around your figure, making you warm again. Yunho placed you on top of the sink counter, giving you a kiss on the forehead as he grabbed the clothes, unfolding them and helping you to get yourself on them. 

Warm and comfy, you three directed yourselves to the living room, grabbing the rest of the bags San had brought on the way. The boys opened the couch, and you guys plopped yourselves on it, throwing a blanket over everyone and cuddling all together. On the bags, there were various snacks and sweets, everything your mother would absolutely prohibe to eat on the daily, so it was even yummier. San grabbed the TV control, deciding to put on some random movie, just to have something to do. You yawned, feeling the sleep starting to hit you after a long and painful day.

— Go to sleep, sweetheart - San said, getting even closer to you and allowing your heart to rest better on his shoulder. 

— We’ll be here if you need, now rest - Yunho completed, making sure that the blanket was covering you nicely. Both boys gave you a little peck, eyeing on you as your own eyes started to close and you quickly drifted off to dreamland. 

Rainy days weren’t definitely your favorites, but at least you had your two favorite boys in the world to make it better. 

[fishmongeringstudies]

the year i turned twenty i stopped waiting for someone to save my life and started eating more vegetables

in the winter of 2018 i got a root canal done on the molar in the upper left-hand corner of my mouth. it had been on the verge of death for a while now; two years prior to that a visiting government-sponsored school dentist had taken a look at it, frowned, and then spent the next two hours wheedling all the rot out of that tiny black hole with a drill. unfortunately the solution he imposed was both extremely painful and temporary, and so two years after the initial incident i found myself once again at the dentist's (this time at a clinic; school dentists don't like to deal with the extra-gritty stuff and are not paid enough to do so). they stuck a needle in my gum, numbed three-quarters of my mouth, then drilled a hole through the center of my tooth and ripped the withering shred of nerve-tissue right out of it.

my dentist helpfully explained all of the above to me during our consultation session in the same office in which he would rip the top half of my tooth off a week later. he was a balding, smiling man whose speech did not, unlike many medical professionals i had met over the years, have an edge of condescension to it. i liked him. i would have liked him more were he not planning to essentially castrated my tooth.

several weeks later i went to another dentist who specialized in helping people in post-root canal limbo, and she stuck a shiny metal crown on what was left of my molar. we then scheduled a series of check-ups to ensure that the crown had not flown off its liege while i attacked an ice cube or something similarly bad for my teeth and mental health, which stretched on for so long that she became, more or less, my primary dental care physician. at first the check-ups were a month apart. then two. time passed. her hair grew longer and our conversations less awkward; she was beautiful and snarky and looked like she would shoot god without hesitation if he stepped into range of her gun. she wore her hair short, red tinged with gold, in a pixie-cut that fell over half of one eye. for a while i thought i was in love with her.

'do you floss?' she asked me on my second check-up.

'no,' i said.

'well.' she broke off a length of dental floss and began to wind it around her fingers. it looked like a death threat and she looked ready to kill, though her eyes were smiling. 'you should.'

for the first year after having an utterly destroyed tooth brought back from the brink of death via a grisly temporary solution that would, at best, buy me one or two decades of peace, i didn't. i didn't floss because when she did it for me in her tiny examination room my gums bled so much it took hours for me to wash the bitter taste of iron out of my mouth. blood is a nice concept and a nicer motif in writing. but it smells awful, and it's worst on the tongue. so i didn't floss my teeth, and i went through life with the kind of casual detached disinterest with which i had approached most things up until then. at my next check-up she asked once again if i had been flossing and i lied that i had. after poking and prodding around in my mouth for a few minutes and taking a scan for good measure she gave me a look and said dryly, 'you haven't been flossing at all, have you.'

disappointing your parents, your favorite high school english teacher, or even your best friend is nothing compared to the sheer embarrassment that comes from knowing your beautiful dentist asked you to do the bare minimum, and you failed to deliver. her voice was arid but we had known each other for long enough by then for me to detect a thin undercurrent of disappointment. i had done it. i had lost the support of the only person in my life who could be counted on to support me. because i paid her for her services. and she was also very funny in a quiet sarcastic way. and she was beautiful.

having had my ego wounded beyond description i resolved to floss from then on and succeeded in dragging my poor aching gums past the bleeding stage to a point where they were merely post-workout sore. then i lost interest and forgot about the white, sterile-smelling clinic that was a fifteen minutes' drive from my house and the little pack of dental floss on the bathroom counter faded into obscurity. two weeks before my next appointment in 2020, an alarm on my phone went off to inform me of the approaching day of judgment. i panicked.

'have you been flossing?' my dentist asked as i lay back in the faded green chair and she put on a pair of new gloves.

'yeah,' i said.

five minutes later, she removed her army of dentistry equipment from my mouth with a satisfied hum. 'i see that you have.' her eyes were smiling. 'your teeth look fine. i'll just clean them a little for you.'

i celebrated impressing my favorite dentistry professional in singapore by forgetting to floss for the next two months. soon after that i got on a plane to america, and then two more for good measure in case i hadn't grown sick of sitting and burning in my own skin already, and then twelve weeks of insanity ensued, the details of which we are surely all acquainted with by now. late nights, walks in the forest, afternoons spent in the sun. mismatched footsteps and strange acquaintances. an elaborate circus act staffed entirely by misguided but well-meaning teenagers. a ring of fire.

two weeks ago i bought a box of dental floss for ninety-nine cents. i think this might be what the anthropologists call 'adulthood'. i was at target with a friend and we were getting toothpaste, which we had both nearly run out of, when i saw the little flat box of dental floss hanging from a hook on the wall. my teeth weren't particularly disgusting (they haven't been, not since i learned how to brush them properly), but they weren't beautiful. it had been a while since i had been on my own mind. for the last three months, others' pain had been my main priority, and now that we had eliminated most of them from the picture, i found myself with more time in the mornings to stare at myself in the mirror and wonder how, exactly, i was doing.

how are you doing? i asked. and the answer was i felt like shit.

while i've stayed in dormitories before for extended periods of time i always got out of doing laundry by either submitting my dirty clothes to an on-campus service which disappeared them into a hole in the fabric of reality and returned them to you a day later, cleaned and folded outside your room so the first time i did laundry by myself in america, a week after arriving on campus, i felt invincible. buying an iced chai from the cafe on a thursday morning and then settling down to work on my laptop until my first class started at noon, i felt like a character in a career advisory ad, like someone who knew where they were going and how they were going to get there. standing in front of the bathroom mirror of my summer dorm, winding a strand of dental floss around my fingers, i felt like i had aged fifteen years in the span of just one, and that just this once, it was for the better.

according to my adult friends, no one ever fully feels or recognizes that they are an adult. adulthood is an ideal that all grown children strive towards the way body-builders aim for more and more muscle mass until there's nothing left of them but a pair of well-toned biceps. there are several industry-approved ways to be an adult, but there are no suggested ways to feel like one. this is part of the gaping maw of inadequacy our generation has fallen into. this afternoon i melted butter in a pan and beat two eggs, milk, salt, and garlic powder together in a bowl. pouring the egg mixture into the pan i began to scrape the edges frantically towards the center with a spatula. the whole process took no longer than two or three minutes. by the end of it my hand was shaking.

according to my adult friends you just wake up one day and start looking for ways to re-organize your pantry and that's when you realize: i'm getting old, aren't i? and i'm getting old, aren't i? twenty's just the start of what a friend recently told me her parents refer to as 'the decade of pain'. but the beginning of something is included in the timeline of its accomplishments, too, and it takes more blind faith to start something than we give ourselves credit for. i have never used a saucepan up until today. in my younger years i often boiled broccoli or cauliflower in a small pot over an electric stove. but the butter, the eggs, the smell of fat sizzling on a pan- this is new to me. this entire life is new to me.

leaving the familiar warmth of your family home, it suddenly occurs to you how fragile life is. how everything your mother has done for you until now has kept you on the path forward, and now you have been given the keys to the basement you have to remember to buy laundry detergent before you run out. it all comes together like this: the humming laundry machines, the hand towels, the fridge full of fruit and cheese. it keeps you alive.

and it's awful. our generation doesn't know what self-care is because we're too busy trying to care for a world which tries, time and again, to kick us off the carousel of life and move on without its ephemeral teenage charges. we are bad at this 'living' thing because we often forget that we are alive at all. look out the window and the world's burning. look into the kitchen, and- quiet. this past year has done nothing to improve the paintings on the wall. we've all known hopelessness. we've all known what it's like to wake up and feel nothing at all.

and yet my flatmate has a new york times cooking subscription that she says we're welcome to borrow if we want to look up a recipe for something like paella, brownies, whatever. the other day she made shrimp scampi and when she knocked on my door and said 'i made food, if you'd like some' i remember thinking living with other people was worth it if you could sit around a table and twirl pasta noodles around your fork in silence. tomorrow i think i'll go to target again and see if i can find more acai. i miss it. i miss singapore's overpriced acai places and their stupid too-high chairs.

and i am living life clumsily, but who cares? a life is a life; all you have to do is live it. the rest can come later, after the dust has settled on the windowsill.

06.09.21