#i know i've done things like this for castor before but I will consider this the nail in the coffin at least for a while

[sammygems]

Things I Have Noticed/Remembered from my MCDiaries rewatch

I will be updating this as I continue my rewatch, currently everything listed is out of order, cause I've started writing this as I am on episode 64 of season 1 and I don't feel like fixing it to be in order, so sorry!

What the fuck was Garroth's "plan" he mentions to Zenix in the first episode 😭

Zenix seems to be younger then Garroth in Diaries, considering the way that Garroth talks about him, but I think in MyStreet, Zenix is either the same age or slightly older then Garroth, so far this is like, the only obvious age difference between the series (besides Travis and everyone else of course)

I forgot how entertaining Brendan's character is, he's far less annoying then I remembered

ZANE AS AN ACTUAL BAD PERSON, I LOVE HIM

I love Vylad, but I legit forgot how much he was in Diaries season 1, I thought he was in it far less

Currently at the stage of Diaries where there is no lgbt+ people, i'm very disappointed by this (we haven't even reached the queerbaiting)

KC's character is....not as bad (racist) as I was expecting, still not great though. I'm choosing to believe that KC is from Tu'lu and Maid Cafes are a thing there, and "Kawaii~Chan" is just a stage name for her work.

Y'all know how Cadenza went missing and she was actually turned into a chicken? Yeah, the way Hayden, Castor, & Laurance talk about her to Aphmau makes it sound like Cadenza is a small child. But then it turns out she's the same age, if not older, then Laurance and Aphmau.

Aphmau should've just made Joh and Hayden lovers, I'm so serious, it would make the whole Cadenza and Laurance being "close like siblings" in season 1 to I think actually being called as siblings in season 2 and in MyStreet a lot easier to understand and make a lot more sense.

Why does Kenmur have like, some sort of romance with all the girls from Meteli??? He was engaged to Sasha and is stated to have feelings for Cadenza.

I love when the episodes open from Sasha's POV, and she goes and talks to Gene and there's just no voices. I love having to pause to read what they're saying. (this point is sarcasm)

The way literally everyone reacted to learning Laurance was blind was....icky. Like, I understand Cadenza and Aphmau reacting as like "we need to find a way to bring his sight back", but the fact that it was literally EVERYONE who decided he needed to get his sight back was so weird.

I don't mind Laurance ACTUALLY getting his sight back, but I wish it was done differently. Like, personally, I'd have him like, have to wash his face with the water of the fountain of Lady Irene.

Emma & Corey, Dale & Molly, and Logan & Donna are very sweet couples.

After Zoey and KC were able to turn Cadenza back to her human form, Zoey mentions that she "recognizes Cadenza from somewhere", but I don't think this goes anywhere???? I'm assuming it was supposed to hint at like, Cadenza's backstory.

ngl, I kinda wish we got more of Zane and Kiki's relationship, I really wanna know what side of Zane Kiki actually saw.

Anyway, Kiki is currently expecting.

Nicole (my beloved) has showed up. I've decided I won't question the logic behind her iron fists being able to break bedrock, and instead say that her referencing her iron fists just made me think of Ace from One Piece and Natsu & Gajeel from Fairy Tail.

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT NICOLE'S FOX, ROXY, AND ABOUT THE WYVERNS IN GENERAL 😭

I need to mention that in one episode (before Aphmau went to Scaleswind and learned about Lady Irene), Garroth says to Aphmau "by the seven", which I think she was hurt, but the use of "by the seven" is similar to how the same phase would be used in Game of Thrones or to how irl lots of people say "oh my god", so I'm really wondering if there were originally supposed to be 7 Divine Warriors instead of 6.

The way when Aphmau found Levin and decided to keep him and Garroth IMMEDIATLY decided he would be Levin's father figure.

The way when Laurance found out that Aphmau had a kid, his response was to play with Levin and say to Aphmau "you didn't tell me you had this little buddle of joy/energy".

That's all for now, I'll like, update when I have more to add.

[xfriki26]

GRABS YOU /silly

Okay so uhh umm uhh Castor and Donovan relationship issues yaayyy

Get ready for a long ass ramble

(I apologize in advance for how much info I'm putting in here)

[Pre-cannibal Castor]

So when Castor met Donovan, he was kinda clingy. Not too much, but just enough to be annoying, yk? Donovan would be cooking food and Castor would come up and kinda get in the way of what he was doing, or would refuse to let go of Donovan when he got up in the morning (Donovan has been slightly late to work a couple times because of that) but other than that Castor was a good boyfriend to him! And usually Donovan just found it endearing anyway.

Donovan would kinda treat Castor like he didn't know what he was doing sometimes. He would always have to be careful with Castor when he was starting to freak out, but when Castor got better at controlling himself Donovan would still treat him like a child a lot. He almost never let Castor do stuff on his own, and would insist on either helping him or doing it for him. Castor found it annoying, cuz he's a full grown adult and can do stuff on his own. He just needed to be taught how to use electronics sometimes and he would be able to get it by himself after that.

["Uh oh I'm considering cannibalism" Castor]

So yk how I mentioned before that Castor got better at controlling himself eventually? Well, he did, but at some point Donovan noticed that he was going back to his old ways all of a sudden. Being very fidgety and often worrying about bad things that could happen once more. They would be watching a movie on the couch and Castor would suddenly worry about someone breaking into the house, Castor would be afraid that his food was poisoned, etc, just like when Donovan first met him. Keep in mind this was around the time that Bob hired Castor at Boys & Grills.

Castor was also starting to bring up his past a lot more, how much guilt he felt about what he had done, even though he wasn't in control of his own body when those things happened.

Donovan knew something was wrong and tried to get Castor to him, but Castor refused to tell him. He wasn't communicating his issues, and that made Donovan worried.

(Cannibal Castor)

Castor started saying things that were really concerning. He would tell Donovan things like "You knew I'd never hurt you, right? I just want you to know that you're safe with me" or "I'm a bad person. I am a really bad person, please tell me that you'll stay." and things along the lines of that. Donovan was scared and confused, why was his boyfriend saying this stuff? He had enough of the worrying, and started desperately trying to get the information out of Castor about why he was acting like this. Often yelling at him, which he regretted and apologized for afterward. He just loved Castor and wanted to find out what was wrong so he could help.

But THEN Donovan caught Castor eating human meat one day. They had a whole argument about it, and Donovan made Castor leave the house.

Donovan couldn't bring himself to call the police on his boyfriend, because he was convinced that Castor was still fixable deep down. That he could undo the damage Bob had done and get him to stop killing people, on purpose this time. He loved him and wanted to get the old Castor back

So currently they keep breaking up and getting back together again, with Donovan trying to go through the exhausting process of getting Castor to go back to the sweet (but a little messed up) guy he was before, the one that would never hurt another person on purpose.

Yaayyy that's it sorry for the multiple paragraphs LMFAO I've just been wanting to talk about this for a WHILE

GRRR, GRRRR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES MAKE ME GO

Donovan, my boy, I dont know if your boyfriend is fixable at this point...

GOD, THE "I'm a bad person. I am a really bad person, please tell me that you'll stay." Castor knows this shit is WRONG but still wants Donovan arround and doesnt want to loose him aughhhhh...

The horrible process of wanting to help someone but he just keeps going back to the wrong habits, ashdfgakhsdgflahsjlghf.

Dont you DARE apologize for the long text, it FED ME GOOD /pos

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek- Strange New Worlds Season 1 to finale

In case you missed it at the end of the last message, I'm changing up the way I do these. The stream of consciousness thing wasn't very readable and I'm not feeling like I can watch while I work because I want to pay attention. So instead, I'll just compile my thoughts a couple times each season instead of an episode by episode list.

Starting with 1x7, it seems like you should never trust a new character who just happens to have a lot in common with you, but what a needlessly overly complicated ruse. There had to have been a simpler way to kidnap Spock.

The Elysian Kingdom: I know the 'raid the studio for costumes' episodes are fan favorites, and I understand the appeal. The over-dramatics, particularly from La'an's actress are hilarious.

Although his name was Caster in the subtitles (and thus a little on the nose for a wizard), I should have seen the Pollux name drop. I remember using Castor and Pollux in a mythology assignment in high school, about Face/Off, and whenever they pop up in media, it's like

All Those Who Wander- This one I really liked. A distress call, a scene of carnage, the separation from the 'reinforcements', a warning not to come that was too late to heed, and then the horror vibe. Considering part of why I want to watch these is for inspiration in my D&D games, this was a goldmine, even if it was a fairly straightforward take on classic tropes. I also lol'd that Pike's command code is 2-4-6-8-10.

I wasn't expecting the Gorn to be so... bestial. I was expecting humanoids. I wonder if I just missed that before because I wasn't actually watching.

A Quality of Mercy- First thing I thought when they said 'a different captain might have done differently' was 'is this something we'll see happen on screen in TOS?'

Side note: I hate Spock's pronunciation of sensOrs.

So Burnham fucks up by trying to show strength to the Klingons and starts a war. But Pike fucks up by trying to make peace with the Romulans and... starts a war.

I feel like this bit about the Romulans is very much geared toward fans of older serieseseses. Like showing that they look like Vulcans is an in joke with none of the payoff to new viewers. I've learned through cultural osmosis that there was a lot of to-do about them being different and then turning out to be a subrace of Vulcans, and changing through the different eras, but I don't know the details and having the characters be like 'we've never seen one!' and then seeing Vulcans felt... underbaked. Like it wasn't for me. Lip service to something expected by others so that they could then do a face-to-face for maximum emotional impact.

[way-to-the-future]

Combat Mode: Castor

★★★★★★★★☆☆ —  strength ★★★★★★★★☆☆ —  offense ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ —  defense ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ —  speed ★★★★★★★☆☆☆—  durability ★★★★★★★★★★ —   accuracy ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ —  agility ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆ —  stamina ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ —  teamwork ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ —  stealth ★★★★★★★★☆☆ —  close combat         ★★★★★★★★★☆ —  bladed weapons ( swords, dagger/s, lances? ) ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ —  blunt weapons ( club/s, staff/s )   ★★★★★★★★☆☆ —  ranged weapons ( archery, gun/s ) ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ —  magic ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ —  traps/setups ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ —  medic

–Overview–

Castor typifies the sword and pistol fighter - versatile, agile enough to aim on the run and wield a long sword one-handed, but lacking in defensive capabilities outside of his capacity to dodge and a few protective spells. He follows more or less a single tactical plan with variations as necessary: unload all six of his specially modified and maintained single shot hand cannons in a matter of seconds, and then close and finish what needs finishing with his sword. In a more protracted or long range engagement, he makes sue of a scoped repeater rifle; he also has a number of small explosives in his kit for use in dire straits. In and out of combat, he can call on a minor mending incantation, purge toxins from his system with magic, or form a protective shell of aether around his body for a few seconds - though any of these will sap his limited aether reserves to a varying degree.

–Any lasting combat injuries?–

Castor is one of the exceptionally, exceptionally lucky few who has... mostly recovered from the injuries he’s sustained over the years. He’s been shot, cut, beat up, and burned, but the worst he’s come away with are some very deep, ugly scars and a few instances of mostly short-term ceruleum poisoning. He swears by his health, though - even if he racks up quite a bill from the Phrontistery. 

–Fighting Style–

commander / duelist / honorable / dishonorable / would have others do their fighting /  stealthy  / long-ranged / melee / technological / sorcery / superhuman abilities / has fought in an illegal tourney / a lover of fighting / a hater of fighting  / cowardly /  reckless / strategic / uses underhanded tricks  / renowned for their skill / trained (sword and shield) /  untrained  / keeps skills secret / won a battle / lost a battle / ruthless / merciful

–Traits–

╳   flaws

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | liar | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky

♔   strengths

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | loyal

Tagged by: @placesyoucallhome​ (thanks bud!)

Tagging: Hm, let’s go for it @seenovistaprint​ @ffxiv-sunderedsouls​ @yshai-tia​ @blue-hazewhite-light​ @sharlayanwanderer​ @twofaced-xiv​ @poppi-fields​ @meandering-mind​ @shieldbcund​ (if this aint your speed no pressure! and if it is your speed and I didnt tag you, revenge yourself upon me by tagging me in the version you do!)

[batoo96]

Thoughts

Since the beginning of the year, I've lost the girl I loved and my zest for life. She, lost a person who genuinely loved her to give what she can never take back to a guy who made fun of her and threw her away like a piece of shit (it shouldn't be the case, but knowing that really depress me).

I can win back what I lost and I have no more contacts with someone who doesn't appreciate me at my worth and who openly disrespects me and slanders me.

I won't use my computer skills to see what is hidden on her private profile on FB. I think the trick is the same for IG, I'll try with my sister's account out of curiosity if she allows me to. Same for the IP address tracking with emails or phone number. I wonder if the sites I tested during my BTS are still active? I want to respect her will to cut off all contacts.

The human being becomes a monster when he feels he has "power" over someone. I'm very proud that I didn't take advantage of this "power" when I had it over her, a good part of March to end of April. I still have the messages, I try not to regret letting her "her dear freedom", that she was ready to give up "for my happiness". Considering the suffering she put me through from the next months on and enjoyed inflicting on me. I have honor, contrary to what she thinks. The "old her" from before knowing him, knew that fact very well. Unless what I known was a mirage.

I hope that her friends have come to help her. But without wanting to be slanderous, I'm sure she won't even appreciate the help they will give her. She would even be able to send them to hell despite their support. She'll end up losing everything if she doesn't change...

She doesn't want to remember our good memories, they're legions ; like our Hannibal Lecter rant, our meetings at her flat laughing around her table and on Skyrim, "blazer Cushing", her thing - with her baes - that I had found kinda cute, when she translates me what her grandfather had told her and that she had recorded, the first time she came sleeping in my room (when she came sleeping besides me at the end of the night), when she came discovering RDR II and my brand new bed, our first vacations at her house and seeing the place she grew up, meeting her family and her friends, the Bavarian restaurant, the Black Forrest cake making, this trip in the small village inside the Black Forrest, our attempt to go in the casino, Constance, our day long video calls until her return, our German learning sessions, us trying to find new exercises for her students, Quincey's story, Edwin and his chicks, Little Big Man and "Peau de la vieille hutte", Charlie in front of the TV waiting for his kibbles, Yuki's "fffffff", our hugs, our laughter, the Halloween pumpkins we made, the snowman, Mumble, Castor, my eggs that weren't always perfect, our birthdays, her smile when I offered her Custer letters for Valentine's Day, when I accompanied her to the station where we didn't want to let go of each other's hands, our last kiss before she got on the train, when she dressed up and made up as a man, and more and more other great memories.

We started to argue from the moment he appeared in our conversations. She ruined everything, for what in the end?

I hope she will realize this, one day. I really wish her to live in happiness.

At what I know now, she lied a lot to me since March. I won't write a list but who was the more Machiavellian of us? Me who was only scared of losting her forever or her with her own reasons hidden behind her lies and games?

She blames and hates me for finding out things, for not being obedient to her whims but at least I never tried to make her feel bad and sad on purpose. I could say easy and humiliating things about her, out of anger, but I prefer to calm down and let wisdom guide me.

I saw what I did wrong, and I indeed did things wrongly, but I also know what I had never done. It was useful to reread our thousands of messages. I could saw what I wasn't able to see before, because of love. It also made me grow up and I just wanted to share this new knowledge with her, my "last rose" before buried my love in a coffin. But...

I think she really wanted me to think forever that he was the respectful-careful-sincere-holychristian-honorable-soldier man who wasn't interested at all in having one night stands with her and that she would get married... As if she was a trophy to won. She isn't a trophy, she is a flower that deserves to bloom. All I wanted was to have the privilege of growing old beside her, to encourage all her projects, to be the shoulder she could lean on, to listen to her talk to me all day long, to remember the little "insignificant" details that made her who she is, to try to please her with little gifts or small attentions, to go see her parents once in a while, to see her blossom through her studies and her art, and finally to see her smile and to be immersed in her eyes until my last day.

It hurt so much to realize that I had literally lost her for nothing, while I thought and hoped she was swimming in happiness. It hurt so much to know that he didn't care about her feelings. It hurt even more to realize how much she despised me when she called me. But it was with that call that I realized that she could no longer have the upper hand on me.

But as I said, I'm tired of arguing with her. Whether literally or figuratively, she's deaf. I'm not going to fight windmills.

I promised her I would never give up on her, she promised me the same thing. I always keep my promises. She's the one who's leaving, while she maintained that it was never her who let others down.

If thinking I only was a asshole, helps her moving on and starting a whole new life, away from "those men", so be it. I don't care what lies she tells to herself, as long as she doesn't do anything stupid that puts her life or health at risk.

Everyone has the right to do the wrong choices. We're human and imperfect. I don't blame her for having made mystakes. I will never do. I only blame her for being a liar and manipulative. I'm sorry that she's hurt, I perfectly understand her feelings. It's what we call having ampathy. But she has indeed disappointed me, that's a fact, I feel it when I reread what I had written earlier on my blog. I forgive her now, even her disrespectful behavior, but I'll never forget what she psychology done to me. I loved her so much that I started to see in her the one with whom I wanted to form a family. I don't abandon my family. I don't hate her and would be willing to support her if she asked. Coco told me to stay a good man and not let this experience destroy me. I would stay that way, but not so naively anymore. I think this paragraph is perhaps the only important thing to remember.

I really need to stop writing paving stones. I even write them to myself... But I can improve my English that way.