#i know i'm wordy i just spend a lot of time thinking about the process of constructing credible arguments

[queerfables]

No, please, by all means be argumentative ;) I love your work as well. I've tried to be respectful in how I talk about this (and I can see you are too) but it's an argumentative stance for me to take in the first place, and I don't mind the disagreement. I hope you'll forgive me, this response got long.

I'm not sure if "fanon creep" is a term people use but "fanon" is a fan interpretation that gets widely accepted as canon even though it's not definitively established. So what I'm talking about when I say fanon creep is the way people's headcanons become entrenched over time, and other fans are forced to either adopt them or specifically challenge them in order to engage with the fandom.

The more entrenched a particular fanon interpretation becomes, the more it's accepted as a fact on par with things that are definitively established in canon, and the harder it becomes to distinguish between these tiers of certainty. It also becomes much harder to explore alternative possibilities which limits creativity, because over time the fanon becomes the expected interpretation and fans either don't consider alternatives or they feel like they have to justify taking a different reading. People coming in new to the fandom get presented with this interpretation as a fact, and without knowing where it comes from or how people arrived at the idea, often repeat it uncritically because they assume the fandom veterans know the canon better than they do. And this is a problem because not understanding the rationale behind the idea leads to the idea being flattened with each retelling. People can't build on it effectively if they don't understand what evidence supports it and what evidence challenges it. People can't come up with alternative theories that fit the evidence if they're confused about what the evidence actually is.

I'm not saying we have to go back to basics and lay out our reasoning every time we want to discuss this idea. I'm saying that when we talk about it, we should talk about it as what it is: a possibility. Lots of meta takes an "if/then" approach and it's still possible to build on this idea while making explicit the assumptions we're relying on when we do. Because while I do think there's evidence to support this idea, I'm nowhere near as confident in it as you are.

The thing is, the theory of evolution is a scientific theory. I apologise for this digression but you've invoked one of the things I'm geeky about, haha. A scientific theory relates to the physical world and we trust it because it's been repeatedly tested and is supported by observable evidence. This just isn't a model that applies to literary analysis, which is based in trying to understand a creative human construct rather than our physical existence. I get that you're saying "it might only be a theory, but it's one with lots of evidence" but the kind of evidence we're talking about is really different. We just can't have the same degree of confidence in our predictions about fiction because fiction is inherently unpredictable.

This is controversial, but I'm not completely convinced Good Omens season 2 is supposed to be viewed as a puzzle box mystery to be solved. This probably ought to be a meta in its own right but I'm here now and it's hard to explain my stance without going into this so I might as well.

Crowley and Aziraphale's conversation about Clues is a Terry Pratchett reference, and specifically it riffs on the beliefs of Samuel Vimes, a no-nonsense police detective who rejects the entire paradigm of Clues.

From Feet of Clay:

Samuel Vimes dreamed about Clues. He had a jaundiced view of Clues. He instinctively distrusted them. They got in the way. And he distrusted the kind of person who’d take one look at another man and say in a lordly voice to his companion, “Ah, my dear sir, I can tell you nothing except that he is a left-handed stonemason who has spent some years in the merchant navy and has recently fallen on hard times,” and then unroll a lot of supercilious commentary about calluses and stance and the state of a man’s boots, when exactly the same comments could apply to a man who was wearing his old clothes because he’d been doing a spot of home bricklaying for a new barbecue pit, and had been tattooed once when he was drunk and seventeen and in fact got seasick on a wet pavement. What arrogance! What an insult to the rich and chaotic variety of the human experience!

From The Fifth Elephant:

Mr. Vimes had told him never to get too excited about clues, because clues could lead you a dismal dance. They could become a habit. You ended up finding a wooden leg, a silk slipper and a feather at the scene of a crime and constructing an elegant theory involving a one-legged ballet dancer and a production of Chicken Lake.

I can't say for sure what Neil intended by this reference, of course, but I do think that maybe we're supposed to take the emphasis on Clues as a little bit tongue in cheek. This is especially true given Crowley's skeptical reaction, and the fact that the Clue ends up being important to Gabriel personally but not very significant in unravelling the mystery surrounding him.

The other thing that makes me think we can't assume there's a big underlying mystery left unresolved from this season is the enormous barrel of actual red herrings cavorting through the opening credits. Maybe it's pointing towards a mystery-genre type reading, or maybe it's telling us to be skeptical about Clues. And this is really my fundamental point: when there are multiple possible readings supported by the evidence, we really can't take anything for granted. There's a certain level of subjectivity involved when we speculate about what's most likely.

That's why I say it's important to be aware of the assumptions we're making. If we assume season 2 is a mystery puzzle that we're supposed to try and solve, then it's reasonable to assume there must be important questions left unanswered. If we assume there are important questions left unanswered, it's reasonable to give extra weight to discrepancies and patterns, like the way Crowley talks about memory. If we assume there's weighted meaning behind the way Crowley talks about memory, it's only sensible to add up all the things he says and consider it through the lense that season 2 is a mystery we're supposed to solve. And when we do that, we get: of course Crowley lost his memory. Only, we started from an unproven assumption. Maybe season 2 isn't a mystery puzzle we're meant to solve! If that assumption is wrong, the whole theory's credibility comes into question. It doesn't necessarily fall apart but the evidence behind it is weaker. And each new assumption we make introduces new places where we could be mistaken. So if we make three assumptions that we don't realise are assumptions when we conclude that Crowley lost his memory, that's three hidden sources of potential error. And if we approach our next meta from a foundation of, "as we know, Crowley lost his memory when he Fell" we're carrying those potential sources of error into our next analysis, still without being aware of them. It leads us to overestimate how confident we can be in our claims and misrepresent them as stronger than they really are. And to circle back to my initial post, this is why I think it's so important to distinguish between canon and interpretation.

In any case, I highly encourage you to write the meta laying out the evidence for why you feel so strongly about this. Perhaps I'll write a counter meta explaining my doubts, and we can have it out the old-fashioned way like bitter academic rivals (I think the tradition is pistols at dawn?) <3

At this stage, Crowley having lost memories from before the Fall is a theory, not a given. There's some evidence for it but nothing like proof. It's fine to base analysis on the possibility but your argument will be much stronger if you acknowledge that it's an if. If Crowley lost his memories, then - whatever it is this implies or raises questions about.

Maybe I'm being too precious about What's Really Canon but we're only a few months into a hiatus that's going to last years, and I'm desperately hoping we can avoid fanon creep as much as possible. So I'm encouraging us, in all areas, to notice when we're accepting possibilities as givens. We can build theories on top of theories but it's really crucial that we acknowledge which parts are assumptions. Because each incorrect assumption that we rely on takes us further away from the truth. This is such a smart fandom and I love reading everyone's perspectives. I want us to keep all our avenues for speculation open, including the ones that go against dominant fandom readings.

[lollytea]

Do you have a beta reader, and as a writer, do you need one in order for your work to be good? Also, as a writer, how do you know if you're doing enough to finally feel good enough with whatever you're trying to work on?

Do you have a beta reader?

Not at the moment, no. I had a beta for a total of one fic I wrote in December 2022. Everything else has been done on my own. You can probably tell because of all the grammatical errors.

Do you need one in order for your work to be good?

If you're asking on behalf on yourself, I will say that you don't NEED one, but I'd definitely recommend it. If you're referring to writing fanfics and you don't have anybody available to beta for you, then there's no harm in posting them without it. As I said, I do it all the time. BUT if you do have somebody who's willing, then yes, absolutely accept their help. Having a second pair of eyes to catch all the little mistakes helps a ton. Their assistance and corrections will also help you learn, and your work will get better as you go along.

If you're talking about, like, writing original fiction that you're hoping to publish, then it's a little less casual than fanfic. If that's the case, yes, try to find an editor.

If you're asking about me personally, then I'd say that I probably WOULD be a lot better at writing if I had one. As I said, grammar and linguistics are my weak points. My stuff would also be way neater and more polished if I had a beta who was given more creative liberties. For the one fic I wrote that was beta-ed, their job was mostly to comb through these big fat paragraphs and add commas, remove commas, etc. They made a few suggestions about rewording some of my sentences, but they also recognized that I was a lunatic who was very particular about the way I phrased things for whatever reason so they mostly focused on the grammar and punctuation.

If I had a beta that I gave full reign to do whatever they wanted, my work would probably improve by tenfold. Shorter, more straightforward, probably more impactful, less rambly. But my stuff is exhausting to deal with from an editing perspective. Massive and wordy and all over the place. I really could not expect somebody to spend their valuable time wrestling with all of that for free.

So I'm fine tipping along in my usual rambly way at the moment.

How do you know if you're doing enough to finally feel good enough with whatever you're trying to work on?

Well, there's no such thing as being "good enough" to make anything. I write for fun. It's not my job. I have nothing to lose.

I'm still learning. And I think I still have a long way to go. It's okay if I'm bad at it in the mean time.

Everything I write and post is just an example of me practising. Trying to figure out what works. What doesn't work. My writing is always getting better, then worse, then better, then worse again, in a constant cycle, but as long as I'm practising, I'm learning.

Don't burn yourself out. Write little bits at a time if you have to. Don't be scared that your idea is too ambitious for your skill level. Write it in your own way, even if you don't feel like you can pull it off. By doing that, you'll steadily get better. And if you want to rewrite it again in a few years when you finally feel like you have the skills to excecute it in the way you want, then you can always do that.

Even if you don't feel good enough for your own standards, you improve a little bit every time you work on something. That's what's matters.

I find it comforting to focus on the fact that I'm still learning, rather than the fact that I'm still not as good as I think I should be.

I don't think any of us will ever be "good enough" in our own minds. We'll never see ourselves as masters. It's an unattainable goal. But so long as we keep letting ourselves write "badly" we'll probably write a few masterpieces in the process.

[yeyinde]

you write so beautifully and poetically, and your metaphors/similes are spot-on - can I ask how you're so knowledgable and creative with your descriptions? have you travelled a lot? if you read a lot, any good books you could recommend to increase one's writing skills? ❤❤❤❤

thank you so much!! 🖤 this got sooooo wordy - i'm so sorry!! i really rambled a bit, but i don't think anyone has ever asked me about how i write the way i write, just why lmao.

i have travelled quite a bit (mostly spending sporadic chunks of time split between Wales/UK and Canada), but i've also been quite privileged to make friends with a lot of people from different places and i got to stay with their families while visiting so i never had to worry about lodging too much and just got to explore different places and cultures.

other than using my own experiences, i just like pretty things. i don't really know how to explain this, but i'm absolutely in love with the way things fit together, and how they don't. i like to contrast things - particularly people, expressions, and emotions - with nature and the process of nature. i think that's where i draw my biggest inspiration, and where people have often quoted the lines back at me the most.

i guess i just like a brutal assault on all of the senses (taste, touch, smell) when i write, and especially when i read things! sort of like getting yelled at and slapped in the face, and then soothed and comforted by the same hand that hit you. you don't know what to feel, you just do. and i always focus on emotion before anything else.

i also read quite a lot of poetry and there is so much flexibility with being as vague or as descriptive as you want!

i hope you got some time from this!! i'm so awful at explaining myself! but thank you so much!!! 🖤

[pixiemage]

12 & 17

[Ask Game]

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Honestly? Angst and Hurt/Comfort. I used to avoid anything painful like the plague because I can't stand anything that doesn't have a happy ending. But in the past five years or so I've come to really appreciate a good bit of angst. There has to be balance, of course, but when it is balanced it makes the hurt hit harder and the comfort so much sweeter.

I still have a hard time with bad endings and permanent character death, because I still need that positive closure at the end of a journey, but - well. For anyone who's read my stories, you all know I've definitely taken a liking to emotional turmoil, haven't I? xD Just know my fics will ALWAYS have a happy ending! I'm incapable of writing any other way! <3

(Also some of the more animal-based traits that a lot of MCYT characters have. I used to think that kind of thing was weird when I was younger, but I've read so many stories since then with non-human characters that the hybrid players of the MCYT 'verses are basically normal to me. Give me birb boys and moss creatures any day of the week!)

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

Buckle up, because there are two and I'm a wordy bitch when I get excited about a story idea. One of them is Marvel, which might not be your cup of tea, but I'm rambling about it anyway. (If you want to skip it, there's also MCYT rambles below this one lol.)

Stark Boys AU | This one scratches the ol' Iron Dad itch that I don't think I'll ever get rid of. A Marvel buddy of mine and I created this entire AU over the course of a few months last year(?), in which Tony happens to meet the Parkers not long after the events of IM1. Peter is still just Peter instead of Spider-Man because he's so young at this point. He's a genius of a kid who's still processing the loss of his parents. For multiple reasons, Tony and the Parkers end up keeping in touch, and as the years go by Tony becomes a father figure for Peter. (Because of this he ends up taking better care of himself sooner and a lot of things change a little in the timeline, but that's beside the point.) When he meets Harley Keener in IM3, Tony figures out that the kid's practically an orphan. After having Peter in his life for so long the logical next step - of course - is to adopt this Harley kid who's got the same spark of genius Peter has and is close to Peter in age. They two end up growing up as something akin to brothers, with Peter living with the Parkers and Harley living with the Starks and both of them spending weekends together at one home or the other. This means both boys (and May and Ben) are part of the story through all the Avengers films, which changes things in a lot of interesting ways. Peter shows up in Siberia in Civil War, Harley starts work on his own suit like Tony's, there's this running joke that they claim they're twins when they're not. Harley crushes on, dates, breaks up with, then forges a lifelong rivalry with Harry Osborn, which lasts all the way through college. There's a whole thing with Peter coming back after the snap and the blip as a kid instead of a teen, which is just - my favorite thing. This AU also inspired a bunch of SPINOFF AU's - SB Mafia AU, a Parent Trap AU where Harley and Peter are actually twins, an SB Hogwarts AU with Flash as a rival-turned-friend, a Supernatural AU where Richard Parker and the Starks were Men of Letters and where May and Ben run a roadhouse for Hunters - so this, uh. This story and its extensions live rent free in my head. I've never listened to The Pheonix by Fall Out Boy without thinking of it.

BUT BACK TO MCYT

2. Traffic Life Witch & Familiar AU | I've talked in depth about this one over on this post, but I freaking adore this concept. Witches and Familiars is a trope I love in every universe. I think I found it first through Supernatural (and started writing a fic for but never finished, oop) and the whole idea is soooo good. And with the concept of witch/familiar bonds that I've seen in numerous works, it parallels so well with the soulbond mechanic from Double Life. If people want it I'd gladly write it, it just wouldn't be in a chapter-fic form and it probably would be at the bottom of the list until some of my other MCYT fics are finished xD Lord knows I have a lot I'm working on already!

3. (And here, a secret third thing, but spoilers for recent DSMP lore: I made a joke post about it the other day, but remember how I mentioned in another ask that I love the Hermit!Tommyinnit trope? Well forget the old “Tommy somehow ends up on Hermitcraft during exile” trope, how about “Tommy somehow ends up on Hermitcraft after the DSMP gets nuked but everyone is still trapped on Empires so it’s sort of a ghost town except for like five people and one (1) traumatized and potion addicted teen”? Like - it would be an absolute catastrophe and I love it. The only people left on Hermitcraft right now are, to my knowledge, Hypno, XB, Beef, and Wels. Etho is somewhere and Mumbo is still on hiatus, so Tommy just - appearing in a near-empty server with four people who would have no idea how to deal with a traumatized and chaotic teen? Absolutely glorious. And then Mumbo would come back and be the most capable man in the room because he deals with Grian on a daily basis, and that's a stretch. Hypno would be the only one present with admin status. So Xisuma and Grian and the rest come back and the server is just on fire because nobody knows what to do about the new intruder who probably just really needs sleep and a hug, and - glorious, glorious chaos. <3)

OH AND SOMEONE SHOULD DO AN EMPIRES AND HERMITCRAFT SWAP where the Hermits each have their own Empire and the Empires crew are the ones who live in a chaotic world of RP shenanigans. Or maybe like, a partial cast swap because lord knows there are so many more Hermits by comparison. Nether Prince Tangoooo my beloved.

[rudy-sport]

Haii hsi hai :-). I see you post a lot abt ADMIN and Mango, but I'm curious on what their story is? I don't think I ever was here to see their story or anything and I'm curious :-0. LIKE, uhmm, what exactly is Mango or ADMIN? Their relationships? How they met? Unless that stuff is a secret or something.

FINALLY. THE BIG QUESTION.

Okokok

So I haven't actually gone in depth about the story I'm so fuckin glad you asked me this. This is gonna be wordy

So the story is abt two women [Admin and Mango] and just generally their lives, both before and after meeting.

Mango is a worldwide phenomenon. Her creator/parent, Derrick Lewis, was 16 when he received government funding for his experiment on creating a sort of human life using just a fruit, which was a mango for him. He had 9 trials with varying amounts of a certain chemical mix. He got his hand bitten off by one of the mangoes with the most of this mix, and his blood accidentally got into Incubator 5, and that is the incubator that formed Mango due to the added component of human blood.

Derrick was 17 when Mango was fully formed and basically a discolored person with no external nose or ears. She also lacks pupils, but can see exceptionally well.

She was raised like any normal person would be raised because Derrick saw her as that. A normal little girl.

Admin is a different thing. Her father, Robert Charleston, had reluctantly allowed his daughter Aliyah to move away because she didnt want to continue his works, as they were immoral.

Robert is narcissistic, and he cloned Aliyah. Without Aliyah's permission, at that. Robert's wife discovered what he was doing and tried to sabotage it by stealing a vital organ stabilizer.

That caused the clones skin to turn grey, and for several things like her heart, lungs, and brain to start shrinking. Robert couldn't fix the skin, and later hair greying, but he could at least find electronic substitutes for those organs. This did involve switching out the clones eyes so that they could properly connect to the digital brain and process images.

Thus, Admin was created. She looked weird, as she also had no nose or ears externally, but she also lacked pigments other than shades of grey and blue.

Robert wanted an obedient daughter and didnt send Admin to public school, nor did he let her have typical childish fun, like running around playing tag.

He essentially wanted a drone and didnt get that out of Aliyah.

Skip around to when Mango is 9, and Admin is 8. Derrick attempts to gather information about Admin so he can tell Aliyah because Robert kept it secret for this long. He disguises it as playdates between Admin and Mango.

Mango liked being around Admin, but Admin needed time to process Mango's childish mannerisms because she didnt know that kids were supposed to act that way.

Mango taught admin how to be a kid, and that started issues for Robert. He eventually resorted to punishing Admin anytime she expressed any hint that she was a kid trying to be a kid.

Skip to when Admins 18, Mango's 19 [10 year skip]

Derrick finally contacts Aliyah. She's pissed, because her dad fuckin cloned her. She's 37, and she finds out theres a person just like her in genetic composition, that's half her age.

Aliyah travels to see Admin and turns out. Admin didnt know she was a clone until the day Aliyah showed up. Mango grew really close to Admin and was the one to break the news because she knew for a while.

Now, I should preface this, at 15 and 16 [Admin, Mango, respectfully] the girls decided to date in secret kind of. Derrick and his friend Mason were the only ones who actually knew.

With this situation, Mango suggested they run away. Admin was quick to agree and mango decided to let Derrick and Aliyah know because they're the people who could keep it a secret til they're gone.

Derrick agrees and Aliyah suggests a good city bus that'll take the girls far away.

Derrick gives them money

And they girls leave while Derrick and Aliyah distract Robert by. yelling at him about how what he did was shitty.

The girls make it to a city, and they just. Start making a living for themselves, they find jobs, and then they pay for a decently sized place to live. Eventually they agree to have a kid and theres the whole bone marrow baby situation because Admin has bones and Mango had a reproductive system [she doesnt have it anymore. Their daughter quite literally was the reason the whole thing had to be taken out bc otherwise, Mango would rot since shes still very much a fruit.]

As of current timing, Mango and Admin, as well as their daughter Moder-Ator, are virtually immortal until killed.

Derrick and his friend Mason have developed a romantic relationship.

Robert is alone. He spends his days blaming everyone else for his shortcomings in life. He refuses to take the fall for anything.

Aliyah visits the girls to check in since, it turns out, Admin didnt have the luxury of having a companion other than mango, so Aliyah just kind of. Claimed admin as a sister. She is Mod's godmother, should ANYTHING happen to Admin and mango.

Moder-Ator has a partner, its name is Leonard. It lives in a taco bell dumpster. It's an agender lesbian who met Mod and offered her a chalupa supreme.

TL;DR: guy makes a mango person. another guy clones his daughter bc hes selfish. the girls meet. they form a relationship. they run away after it comes out one is a clone. the girls form a life together and live happily ever after eternally.

[antikate]

Ashamed of wasting your time, but I'm following your works since Hell of his own making, and I admit I honestly admire both your plot-building and your pacing, which is not hasty nor slow, but perfectly on time with the action or dialogue or internal monologue happening. And of course, the words choice. So I hoped to ask you about your writing routine, basically your crestive process, because it's an amazing thing to understand while reading.

Hello Trickster!

This is absolutely not wasting my time and thank you so much for the lovely words about my writing!!!! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH COMPLIMENTS BUT THANK YOU AGAIN!!!

And here’s a rambling answer under the cut so, you know, proceed with caution.

It was really nice to hear you enjoy my plotting as I am both obsessed with plotting and also really struggle with it. I find it hard moving a story to an inevitable but unpredictable conclusion, one that feels right without feeling obvious.

Anyway, I don’t know if I have a “creative process” so much as a “groping around in a dark room lack-of-process” but here’s my answer:

have an idea (usually who the characters are, what they’re doing, the mood, a few scenes)

obsessively think about this idea for days/weeks/months

write down rough sketch of the idea and any scenes I’ve thought out

attempt to outline (I am not good at outlining as I am a discovery writer at heart, and often have to go through the mechanics of writing to figure out what I am trying to say, which is super tedious sometimes as it means a lot of rewriting). That said I usually have a very clear idea of how I want my stories to end, but GETTING there is often a battle

start writing in a fairly linear fashion because writing out of order sucks my will to live

get stuck a thousand times

keep going

more of that

onwards

nearly done

hello Wordhippo my friend, we meet again

oh shit this is BAD what am I doing

ok maybe I can work with this

nope

try again

then once I have a draft I usually let it rest for a while

after it has had a nap, comes rewriting and editing. On a creative level I try to focus on emotions at this point, because I have a habit of shorthanding emotional responses when I am first writing just so I can get through the mechanics of a scene

on a technical level I try to get rid of excessive dialogue tags, find all the expletive constructions and the “he was sitting” type wordy sentences. I also have to find all the sentences I stopped writing halfway through and the notes that say LIKE THIS BUT GOOD

finally get so sick of it I either publish or send to my beta

find a whole bunch of errors and clunky sentences when it is published and spend a frantic hour fixing those and then go hide 

So that’s it really. I only started writing fiction again about two years ago so I feel like I’m still figuring out what works for me, and what doesn’t, and right now I’m trying to master the art of outlining to spend less time in writing cul-de-sacs.

Thank you again for the lovely ask and I hope you are warm and staying safe.

[dailyhowl]

how do I not get mad at myself when I write the first draft? like for some reason, I rage quit when I know it's not supposed to make sense, it's fresh and new, yet I'm like "Nah, no, terrible." Now I have like 10 unfinished works because of my other belief the story is supposed to be perfect at the start, even though I know this isn't true. Sorry, this is wayyyyyyyy to long

Hi anon, I’m very flattered you came to me for advice! 

It can be very hard to be kind to yourself when writing, as it is to be frustrated by a story not taking shape like you would hope. It sounds like you have great ideas, but just a little trouble being patient enough to work through them. I gather that deep down you know ‘this is supposed to be messy at first’ but it’s frustrating to be in that state for ‘too long’? I think it would be best to really tell yourself that it’s important for your work to be sloppy at first! Let yourself just get into the zone of ideas and mood/theme, let yourself explore these things without the constraint of expectations of the quality at first draft.  Maybe an overdone metaphor, but one I like nonetheless, is that you have to treat your writing like you’re painting a canvas. Layers upon layers. You can change and manipulate the paint as you go, as you see fit, and it will only be building your skills and understanding of the art as you go. I think to even just visualise that process helps a lot.

Take note of the things you do like about what you have written INCLUDING the things you’ve written that you don’t like YET. For example, you’ve written something, and the concept is good and you sort of like how it is, but it’s not detailed enough and doesn’t convey the mood properly. Concentrate on what you want to improve on. You’ve already got the good ideas in place, you just need to bulk it up a bit. So, what’s missing? Character details? Character motivations/mood? Environment building? Just keeping layering! Similarly, if you’re reading some dialouge you’ve written and it seems too wordy/awkward, you can pause and think about how you can communicate the same thing different, while keeping what you do like about if there.

So, for example, let’s say I’m a character in this story. Originally, I write that I say “I’m really embarrassed about spending so much time admiring John Lennon’s thighs.” You can refine it and improve it by considering the voice of the character and what they are trying to communicate. It’s handy to have the original piece of writing because it’s the groundwork for what you want to build up on and refine. 

So it becomes “John Lennon’s thighs are incredible, aren’t they? I’m kinda... obsessed, actually.”

Maybe not the best example, but hopefully you know what I mean. Most important is that you be kind to yourself and be patient, work with what you’ve got and sculpt as you go, because it’s actually really great to work with the skeleton of something rather than nothing at all!

Best of luck, I hope that helps!

[thelastspeecher]

Hi! So like five months ago I sent you an ask about applying to grad school and you gave me a super amazing answer. And I'm back now because holy shit I got into grad school (CalArts for Creative Writing) and in the last one you said there was a whole 'nothing list of tips if you actually get into grad school? And I got in and I'm curious what the tips are? If there's anything you've learned in the last few months that changed your perspective on grad school? Thank you so much!

First off, congrats!  That’s a big accomplishment!  Grad schools in general are competitive, and big names like CalArts even more so.

So, you want my advice, eh?  Okay.  Let’s do this.

First step is getting organized.  You start in the fall (I’m assuming), so you have plenty of time.  Find out where important locations are on campus, familiarize yourself with the area you’ll be spending most of your time in (I’d focus on figuring out where the closest bathrooms and places to get food are, personally), and invest in a planner.  Keep that planner handy.  Use it.  It’s easier to stay organized if you start the semester that way than it is to try to organize yourself halfway through the semester.  Make a monthly budget.  Decide “I will spend X amount on groceries every time I go shopping”.  Keep track of the money in your bank account (a lot of banks have mobile apps that make this very easy).  Put some of your paycheck into a savings account every time.  You never know when you might need a nest egg.  Stay up to date on your medical needs (prescriptions, flu shots [for the love of god, get a flu shot], dentist appointments, yearly physicals).  You can definitely find resources at your school to help you with some of these tasks.  There is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to find a workshop on keeping a budget or other adult skills.  Attend workshops for new grad students.

Second, look into different support systems for students.  That means student-led organizations, departments that exist to keep the university complying with federal non-discrimination laws, and general resources.  Get a support system set up right away, particularly if you are going to be far from family.

Student-led organizations will be able to help you adjust and provide you a sense of community (particularly if you belong to a minority community).  Other grad students will be able to offer advice faculty or staff might not be able to.  Don’t isolate yourself!  That’s what I’ve been doing and it sucks!  The only reason I haven’t driven myself completely insane is because I have a roommate who happens to be my best friend.  If I could start over, I wouldn’t do what I did and avoid everyone because I was intimidated.  I would stroll into rooms with purpose and confidence that I am the baddest b*tch there.  Confidence gets you far in life, particularly in grad school.

“Departments that exist to keep the university complying with federal non-discrimination laws” is a very wordy way of saying the Title IX office, disability services, offices for students of color (schools typically have different offices for different racial minorities; find out which one is best suited for you), the LGBT resource center, and the like.  If you are part of a demographic minority, find out where you can locate help immediately.  If something goes wrong related to your status as a minority, you need to nip it in the bud RIGHT AWAY.

General resources are things like mental health services, university health services, survivor services, etc etc.  If you have any history of mental health issues or have been in therapy at any point in your life, I recommend jumping into counseling immediately, even if you feel like you don’t need it.  Just talking to a neutral party will help you more than you think.  Most schools offer free counseling for students, too.  If they don’t, then that’s really fucking weird, but they should be able to help you figure out a method for you to adjust smoothly without it being too much of a drain on your wallet.

Third, learn from my mistakes.  Good lord, learn from my mistakes.  I had a disastrous first semester at grad school.  I was overwhelmed, completely out of my depth, and the one thing I thought I was doing right I discovered I was actually completely fucking up.  I entered my second semester on academic probation and probation as a TA.  How do you learn from my mistakes?  A few ways.

The first time you TA (most grad students TA at some point), insist on someone observing you.  The department should automatically observe all TAs, particularly new ones, but it’s possible to slip through the cracks.  That happened to me.  The head TA was too busy to observe TAs my first semester, and I didn’t find out that I was a shitty TA until I was in a meeting with department and university head honchos, who were effectively accusing me of hating my students and hating being a TA and sucking in general.  That’s paraphrasing, and definitely not completely accurate, but that’s how the meeting felt to me.  I got by only because I explained to them “I am autistic, I struggle with new social situations”.  The extenuating circumstances in my situation allowed me to try to TA again, but this time with some accommodations and outside assistance.

Related: If you are disabled, disclose it to the department.  Disclose it to the higher-ups and the professor who will act as your advisor.  You don’t need to disclose it to anyone else, but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to tell the people you will be working for.  Even if you have amazing coping skills, disclose it.  I’m damn good at pretending to be abled.  But my disabilities still bit me in the ass.  New situations and stress have a tendency of exacerbating symptoms.  You can’t expect everything to go smoothly.  And you can’t expect the department to hold your hand or even recognize what’s going on with you.  I’m the first diagnosed autistic grad student my department has ever had.  They had no clue how to handle that.  You’ll be going into a field that tends to be a bit more liberal than STEM (like my area of study), so you might not run into the issue of “uh we don’t know how to help you, please talk to some people at the office of equity”, but it’s best to find out sooner rather than later.

Related: If you are disabled, get your ass down to the disability services office and get accommodations.  Immediately.  Start the process over the summer.  Larger schools might have a more complicated process to get accommodations than smaller schools, so you need to get the ball rolling right away.  Even if you haven’t felt like you needed accommodations recently, get the ones you had in the past.  Don’t assume you’ll be fine without extra help.

Don’t take too many classes your first semester.  And make sure the ones you do take aren’t all super difficult.  I fucked up my first semester, bc I took three upper-level classes, two of them in chemistry.  Yeah, three doesn’t sound like much.  But when you’re juggling adjusting to grad school, starting up your thesis, and being a TA, three classes is a huge fucking amount of work.  I’d recommend two classes, maybe one of them difficult, the other one sort of medium difficulty.  Of course, you have to talk to your advisor for what works best for you, but I highly HIGHLY recommend starting off with a light class load your first semester.

When things start going south, bc they probably will at some point, don’t just keep your head down and try to force yourself through it.  Talk to the family members you are closest to (I’m very close with my parents, so I talk to them when I’m having issues, but it could be a sibling or an aunt or uncle or cousin).  Talk to friends.  Talk to a counselor (PLEASE get a counselor your first semester).  Talk to your advisor.  Talk to the other grad students in your department.  You should be able to find at least one shoulder to cry on, if not a whole bunch.

I said this before, but don’t isolate yourself.  Please don’t.  It’s easy to avoid people when you’re stressed.  Don’t do that.  Reach out to other grad students in your department.  Make friends.  Go with them to coffee shops.  I wouldn’t recommend starting out by going to bars, bc that can be a slippery slope, and you shouldn’t have friends who only have fun while they’re drinking (that’s not a healthy behavior).   My grad school has a really nasty drinking culture that contributed to my avoidance of other grad students, but hopefully yours doesn’t.  And even if it does, you should be able to find someone who won’t want to always go to the bar.

Fourth, be confident.  I said that before, but like the “don’t isolate” thing, it’s important.  I’ve always been a confident person.  I took a huge blow to my confidence when I started grad school, bc I felt like I was surrounded by people with more experience (which is an objective fact, but doesn’t always have to be a bad thing) and more knowledge and more accomplishments and who had their lives together.  I was intimidated, for one of the first times in my life!  I’ve always been a top-tier person, cream of the crop, A+ honors student, go-getter, award-winner.  But in grad school, literally everyone else is that, too.  And that’s not a bad thing!  Sure, some people might be braggy, but other people will be more humble.  Having all this experience in one location is good, bc it means you have more help.  You have people you can talk to who have connections, who have run into problems you might run into, who can offer a unique perspective on things.  That is SO GOOD.  And if you’re still intimidated, think of it like this: You got there, too.  You’re just as good as the other grad students, otherwise you wouldn’t be there.  You have just as much potential, even if you don’t have as much life experience.  You have something unique to offer to the school.  If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been accepted.  And it’s not like everyone else actually has it together.  Some people might, but most of the other students will be as lost and nervous as you (esp other first year students).

Fifth, toot your own horn.  It’s related to being confident, but not quite the same.  Talk about your accomplishments.  Tell people what you’ve done.  Try not to come off too braggy, but don’t hide your light under a bushel.  You have to promote yourself if you want to get anywhere.  You’ve already succeeded at it once, since you got into grad school.  Keep it up!  Oh, and don’t be afraid to toot your own horn when someone else is making you feel intimidated.  I was at a thing where one guy kept going on and on about how he’d been to this country, and that country, and tried this wine and that food and yadda yadda yadda.  I got sick of it, so I cocked my head and stopped him in his tracks by asking him if he’d ever been to Kosovo.  He hadn’t.  He’d been to a million places, but there was one that I had him beaten on.  That was a huge confidence booster.  You have your unique experiences.  Share them.  And don’t be afraid to use them to stop a braggart from controlling a conversation.

Sixth, stay healthy.  Mentally and physically.  Walk most places (that’s how I get my exercise), bike, do yoga, jog, whatever.  Get some exercise.  Eat well.  Make your own meals, keep track of whether you’ve had a vegetable today.  See a counselor, vent to friends, write in a journal.  Most schools offer wellness workshops where students can learn how to keep themselves healthy.  Look into that, particularly if you struggle to eat well or keep stress down.

Seventh, take a short break if you need to.  Grad school culture is intense.  People work way too long for way too little recognition.  Stress kills.  Burn out can make you question your path.  Say no to a third side project your advisor wants you to do.  Take a day off, or an afternoon.  Take a long weekend.  Make sure that things won’t fall apart while you’re gone (in my case, I would get lab work done the day before), let your advisor know you won’t be coming in today for health reasons (you can keep it vague), and then spend your day doing anything but work on your thesis.  Don’t give in to stress and burn out.  It will wreck you.

Eighth, enjoy yourself!  Grad school can be hell, but it can also be fun!  You’re here to learn and gain experience and, hopefully, not hate every second of it.  My own grad school experience has been roughly 92% hell and 8% fun, but I wasn’t prepared when I came.  I did the opposite of hit the ground running.  I tripped and skinned my knees and my face and I’m still trying to catch up with everyone else.  Being prepared, reaching out to people who can help you adjust, those things will ensure your grad school experience goes more smoothly than mine.  Just don’t expect everything to go perfectly right off the bat.  It’ll take some time before you feel like you truly can enjoy yourself.

…That ended on a weird note, but I hope it was helpful.

You’ve got this!  Best of luck!

[darapnerd]

G33k HQ Presents: MC Front-A-Lot Interview

Interview Questions From G33K-HQ & Darealwordsound (Wordy): Nerdcore Interview Collaboration Questions

MC Front: Thank you for bearing with me! So sorry to continually drop the ball on this. Here you go.

Wordy: What was your first creative outlet? MC Front: I seem to remember kindergarten involving a lot of drawing. First and second grade had poetry exercises sometimes. But the way we played D&D between 2nd and 6th grades was how my imagination really got fired up. We didn\'t like dice and maps that much. We\'d take turns DMing and just sort of freestyle the stories to each other at recess. Wordy:  What was the first rap album you ever purchased? MC Front: It was also my first CD. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, He\'s the DJ, I\'m the Rapper. Wordy: Who are your biggest music inspirations?

  MC Front: Tom Waits, Public Enemy, Bjork

Wordy: Describe your studio to us.

  MC Front: I have an Ikea desk that\'s been out of print for 10 years so I get fussy when anyone leans on it. Creaky, cheap old thing. It\'s the only one where you can bolt the rotating side shelves at any height. Perfect for the near-field monitors and re-aiming them for any version of the stereo field. I mix there in my bedroom which isn\'t treated, but I\'ve been in there so long that I can work around most of the room effects. I have a coat closet fully treated, very dead and dry, for vocals. I keep some buttons in there to engineer myself, but everything\'s still happening on the studio computer. My pre-amp and mics and monitors are satisfactory. I could use a better ADC/DAC.

  I will record occasional hand percussion, etc, in that closet booth, but very little fits in there. For other acoustic capture, I\'ll rent time at a real studio (any time I\'m tracking my drummers) or I\'ll go field-record strings at someone\'s apartment.

  A solid two thirds of the non-vocal sound on the albums is electronic, and I can get keyboard performances or work on drum machine material in the project studio without worrying about the ambient noises of Brooklyn.

  Wordy: Describe your ideal home studio if money wasn\'t a problem.

  MC Front: A proper treatment of the mixing room would be great. I guess I\'d have twenty of these Avalon pre-amps and a little drum room, as well as a booth big enough for upright bass or cello. There is almost unlimited fanciness available in the hardware market... I guess I\'d have to make a hobby out of shopping. I\'d still use Reaper as my DAW, though -- the least expensive version of that kind of software, and also the best. I could probably spend sixty grand on plugins.

Wordy: What is your creative process for writing and or producing a song?

MC Front: Baddd Spellah, my Canadian beatsmithing partner, has been kind enough to work on grooves with me for the last fifteen years. Usually I will start with something he\'s been kicking around, or he\'ll take a pass at some live drum that I\'ve been chopping up, and we\'ll add keyboard material from Gm7 (Gaby Alter), my longtime music co-writer. When there is a verse-appropriate groove that is in pretty good shape, I\'ll leave it on loop and write. Once in a while, I\'ll write a hook over a groove that feels like a chorus, and start from there. After I\'ve got most of a lyric, I\'ll put down a scratch vocal so that Spellah and I can build a full song arrangement. Then I\'ll record too many takes of the final vocal, and spend too many months dicking around with the comp, the mix, and all the instrumental details. Finally I\'ll listen to it on as many different devices as I can, fine-tune the mix, and stay up for a week and a half making increasingly bad decisions about everything on the album, leading up to the mastering appointment I foolishly committed to several months prior.

  Wordy: What is your happiest On-Stage Moment?

  MC Front: I think a PAX crowd demanded a second encore once. That makes you feel like a superstar.

Wordy: What was your favorite song to write or record?

  MC Front: Maybe Stoop Sale? But that might be because the video came out so well. For the most part, my happiness with the process relies entirely on the result: it makes me happy to listen to a track if I don\'t just hear a barrage of fuckups that it\'s too late to go back and fix. But there aren\'t very many of those. Of all my lyrics, I\'m probably proudest of Two Dreamers from the Question Bedtime album. I feel like I worked out every bit of the story and then obscured it just enough that the listener\'s careful attention is rewarded.

Wordy: What advice do you have for aspiring artists?

  MC Front: Practice a lot, develop your talent. Get the skills you need to properly communicate with whoever your creative partners are. Take the craft seriously but give yourself a break for not having mastered it -- that is a lifelong process with no actual end goal.

Wordy: What project do you feel best describes you as an artist?

  MC Front: The Nerdcore Rising documentary probably says more about me and the band than I\'d ever be able to, and in kinder words. Of my own projects, I like the Zero Day and Solved albums as a window into whatever it is I\'m trying to say about nerdcore.

Wordy: How do you feel about the disconnect between \"Nerdcore\" and \"HipHop\"?

  MC Front: Well, hip-hop is a cultural movement with very specific origins and elements. Rap is a formal music style that emerged from hip-hop. Any \'variation\' or \'new perspective\' that someone brings to rap is fine -- if meaningless. It might matter that you came up with a new thing to say, but the fact that you chose an unusual form for your expression should be the least interesting thing about it. You can write a march for your peace movement, even if marches come from military music, because the march itself is just a formal style of composition. You\'d be smart to note the ironic relationship there, or you\'d be dumb to suggest that there isn\'t one, or that your choice to use a march as an expression of pacifism somehow reaches backward and affects the origin of the form. Anyone who thinks they\'re \'expanding\' or \'liberating\' hip-hop from its roots by rapping about things that haven\'t been rapped about traditionally is probably an idiot. 

  My idea about hip-hop was only to observe that it was cool. Like, it was the coolest thing happening in American culture when I was a kid, and it probably still is. Breakdancers were the coolest kids on the playground. Graffiti kids were the coolest outlaws in fourth grade. And rappers were the coolest possible composers of verse.

  To want to compose and perform verse in that formal style without having any direct connection to hip-hop, and without being cool, is the sort of desire nerd kids might express by themselves, away from arbiters of hipness, and share only with other uncool kids. The idea of nerdcore went no deeper than that, originally. I\'m glad that a lot of other DIY rappers have found that resonant enough to expand upon.

  Wordy: Do you feel more \"Nerdcore\" rappers should know about its roots in \"HipHop\"?

  MC Front: Definitely. I remember trying to write a Villanelle in a college poetry class. First, we had to read and dissect a sheaf of them. The professor was of the opinion that we would all flounder in the assignment, because there had been only a handful of good Villanelles ever written. I\'m sure none of us wrote one of lasting value. The point was to learn how formal composition connects works, and to appreciate the complications. You can always just do it anyway. But knowing where it comes from and how it\'s been attempted before teaches you how to try to do it well. I think anyone who wants to compose lyrics within the rap genre should know all they can about how raps have been composed so far.

  That doesn\'t even begin to address the cultural issue. Some artists misidentify nerdcore as comedy music, and worse yet, think the joke is \"it\'s rap, but white kids are doing it.\" I think that outlook leads to the weakest possible songs, and is generally disrespectful of hip-hop in a way that concerns me and offends anyone who cares about American culture. Of course, not all of the nerdcore rappers are white, but all of the schticky ones are. I wonder if a delve into hip-hop\'s history would cure them of that impulse, or at least afford them the humility to hush it up.

Wordy: Are you involved in any philanthropy in your local communities or abroad?

  MC Front: I try to do something in support of Child\'s Play every year. I\'m going to contribute to the upcoming Worldbuilders album project.

Wordy: Can you freestyle? Meaning rap off the top of the head? If so, can we see you drop a few bars next time live?

  MC Front: I never do this! I think I\'ve conditioned myself into a certain kind of vanity. Almost everything on the albums is rapped in complete sentences, with rhymes that I\'ve never used previously. Freestyling doesn\'t work that way. I\'m too ashamed to let anyone see me freestyling about the frog, on a log, in a bog, who got sog-gy.

Wordy: Do you consider yourself a “GEEK”?

  MC Front: Of course.

Wordy: In your own words, describe what the word “GEEK” means to you?

MC Front: I decided at some point a long time ago that geeks are all direct descendants of the side-show geek, whose job was biting heads off of chickens. They weren\'t special in any way, except that they were willing and able to do that thing, and it was a fairly extreme thing to do. But because nobody else at the carnival was willing to go to that extreme, the geekery came to seem like a highly specialized skill.

  That\'s why you can be a geek about anything. You just need a topic where your knowledge or expertise is so specialized that it seems distastefully extreme to non-geeks. You can geek out about fantasy novels or about robot AIs. But you can also geek out about car engines or cooking. You don\'t have to be a nerd to geek out.

  Nerds are almost always geeks, and their subjects of geekery are often recognizably nerdy. But a nerd is something else, a person who was already too weird or too smart, and felt alienated, and embraced geekery as an alternative to whatever broader pursuits the cool kids enjoyed.

  Wordy: What is your earliest geek memory?

  MC Front: I was a Star Wars geek starting at age three and a half when the first one came out. It was the only thing I wanted to do. I made adults take me to see it 11 times before Empire came out (I kept careful count). I collected the Kenner figures obsessively until they stopped making new ones a year or two after Jedi.

  Wordy: What is your \"Geek\" hobby? Do you collect comic books? Anime? Video games?

  MC Front: I do still love comics, but I own too many. Video games take up less space. I spend more time gaming than I do working on music, occasionally 70 or 80 hours in a week. It\'s as much an emotional self-medication as it is a hobby.

Wordy: Who are your Top 5 emcees dead or alive?

  MC Front: In no order: Busdriver, MF Doom, Del, Q-Tip, Chuck D

Wordy: When is your next show or tour?

  MC Front: When I get the dang old album done! Maybe spring 2017 for tour. PAX South is the soonest lone show.

Wordy: Do you have a new album coming out?

  MC Front: It\'s called INTERNET SUCKS, and it is going to have a heavy \'get off my lawn\' vibe. Everyone will be mad at me, yet secretly agree with every word on the record. Watch for it to take your feeds by storm.

  http://frontalot.com

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