#i know i'm probably more crying cause i'm overtired and my period's coming (which might have exacerbated the issues i had last night)
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you've heard of anxiety attacks now get ready for guilt attacks
#mk.op#i feel. so. fucking. bad#listen i don't like my dad as a person really esp with his far right beliefs and general...assholery towards my mom#but of course have to have that like complicated familial love thing even though he's my stepdad lol#but apparently he called my mom on her way to work this morning something he NEVER does#calling her telling her how we were going to watch csi later--my favorite episode at that which i think i mentioned earlier tags#and even when i left this morning he was like 'we'll watch nick later!'#at which point i was still in immense pain and miserable and tired and was just hoping that i'd feel better#and i do#but halfway through the day i told him to just go ahead and watch it if he wants (he's retired so he's home all day) without me#and i explained when i came home that was up for an hour and a half last night in pain (which apparently he heard me being up)#he's like yeah ok maybe i'll watch it later#but then my mom tells me how excited he was and now i'm sitting here crying cause i feel so terrible#fuck!!!!#i know i'm probably more crying cause i'm overtired and my period's coming (which might have exacerbated the issues i had last night)#but still. i hope he not really as upset as i'm making him out to be in my head#edit: i reached a compromise...told him we can watch it tomorrow
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