#i know for a fact they didn't expect people to bring the flags to concerts that's for sure

[bandzboy]

so one of the organizers of that flag project at the txt concert talked about it and it was mostly to clear the fact that some people were trying to diminish their efforts because they bought tickets anyway even tho bringing flags, posters and signs and qr codes for donations and etc to concerts and events is part of the boycott efforts too but that's a whole separate subject i wanna touch on this thing they said in their thread

a hybe staff approached them and asked about the flags even tho it's more than obvious the staff was aware of what was happening. they also said that the hybe asked what country that flag was from and basically acted oblivious to it but he didn't stop op or anything but he just kept watching them the whole time

i'm talking about this to underline that, yes, hybe is very aware of what we are trying to do and i honestly found this instance very insidious to me. i think they didn't actively stop anything because they knew they would get severe backlash from it but i want people to be aware of this because it does seem important

[savetooru]

you want a revelation

my supposed last term in college, i ended up failing a class and falling into academic purgatory for months. i try not to dredge up the past but looking back, it's not that the issue was a matter of effort. sudden losses in the family and a general fear anyone else i cared about would fall ill aggravated a condition i was largely unaware of into rearing its big, ugly head. those days i'd lived not knowing 120 bpm was my resting average. and then the waitlists. and the forced leaves. and the absurd changes to curriculum. hard not to fault myself for ignoring my health. i mean, i was and still am obsessed with seeming invincible. who else was supposed to notice something was wrong? but at the very least, i probably would have graduated on time had the world not been actively folding in on itself at the end of 2020. before all that, i was a single decimal point away from bringing home a near-perfect gpa. you couldn't say i wasn't diligent. so it wasn't the medal i mourned. mostly i hated the reality check losing it served so plainly. everyone knows this, though up until that point i was great at pretending it wasn't true: no matter how hard you work, sometimes things fall through. facing the facts meant expecting the worst quickly became a habit. for a while i did everything to cut my losses. but that didn't stick. somewhere along the line, i realized i do better in a fight. never before but exactly during. i've always been a stubborn dog, a busybody— picking myself up is muscle memory. i'm convinced the bulk of my confidence stems from being first pick on everyone else's crisis management team. don't get me wrong. i can see that the years haunt me. like, it still unsettles me when things are good. i've been braced for impact constantly for who knows how long. but i don't want to go back to who i used to be. that's a version of me living more carefree but with far less tenacity. here i'm anxious to get taller. to prove i'm bigger on the inside. i used to flag desire as righteous naivety, but now i see it as a kind of revenge. things fall apart. let them. i'm a sore loser. i'll come to the cutting room as many times as it takes for something to give. lately i've been doing my best to solidify intent. by which i mean i made plans to watch a concert with a friend and bought us tickets early. i set up a fund for an electric guitar in march. i've been putting on a costume once a month to psych myself up for a convention where other people can see me. my most fitful sleeps come after dreams of falling. the more i stack on my plate the less i feel wobbly.