#i knoooow it's not confirmed or anything but I Want To Believe

[mndvx]

THE DEFENDERS OF EARTH in ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE (2021) ››› Julian Lewis Jones as King Atlan ››› Francis Magee as The Ancient King of Men Arthur Pendragon ››› Connie Nielsen as Queen Hippolyta

[waywardtravelerfart]

OK I JUST HAD ONE HELL OF AN EMOTIONAL AND METAPHYSICAL ROLLER COASTER OF A NIGHT SO GET READY FOR RANT MODE.

You want to know why I will never pray to the fucking monotheistic-entitled Abrahamic deity of Jewish/Christian/Islamic/whatever fucking else ever again?!?

BECAUSE IT IS THE NEXT LEVEL DEFINITION OF BEING A PHILOSOPHICAL FUCKING PUSSY.

You know what the abrapussies believe started everything?!? Fucking Yahweh/Hova or whatever he wants to be called was just sitting in some deep as shit fucking water (this is real shit, look at the first page of bible studies factsdammit) and said, “you know what, let’s make a universe of lesser sentient beings to have my metaphysical dick sucked.” So he can say this shit and the universe is just him and some mixed up crap. It’s easy, “God” just catches you soul wherever the fuck your shattered soul/mind/consciousness goes and assigns you a place based on his inexplicable mood which can be based on some rapidly aging trussed up socially tyrannical incel who we are forced to admit has more in common with this cookoo metaphysical tyrant than we would like to admit. The universe is its own self assured fucking safety net. Fucking sure.

Take a look at that and compare that with the truly realistic panicky clusterfuck that is the origin story of the Hellenic “Pagan gods.” The outright absurdism of nobody having any goddamn clue what the fuck came before Gaia, who is dead set against the relatively most rational guy of the literal third generation of actual conscious entities in what is understood as all existence, is an undeniably self-evident fact. Like, she’s the closest thing to an actual moral center of fucking anything the “universe” will ever get, and she is officially declaring any semblance of law or order of the factdamn window by dreaming up a lovecraftian magma-animal-continent-rapist (I forget what the thing was actually called) to shoot out of her figurative-tectonic-plate-vajayjay at whatever fast enough speed to freak out an apparent WMD of a being and his supposed-power-equivalent siblings into running the first chance they get.

So yeah, reality as a concept was fucked to the core of its fucking self at this point. But do you know who managed to make there fucking concept undeniable in the face of all this and actually be the one most likely responsible for reality in the Hellenistic sense actually making sense again by whatever fucjing sense that makes despite the concept of absurdism bring absolutely confirmed?!?!?!?!?!?!?

HEPH. FUCKING. PHEASTUS.

(AND YES, I AM COUNTING HIM AS BRING PART OF THE LATER TITANOMACHY AGAINST THE MAGMA-CONTINENT RAPIST, BECAUSE HOW FUCKING ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN HIM MAKING PANDORA FOR EARLY MAN. THATS HOW YOU KNOOOOW THAT HELLENISTIC BELIEFS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE MORE ACCURATE AT LEAST AS A RELATABLE CONCEPT. BECAUSE LIKE TUCKER MAX OF ALL PEOPLE FUCKING SAID, REALITY DOESNT OWE YOU ANYTHING LIKE FUCKING SENSE.)

This guy was literally disowned by his shitty imperialist/fascist dieties of parent in favor of his lunatical-sociopathic twin brother, whether right out of the womb or as soon as he disagreed with his super-in-charge-of-everything-like-some-other-inherently-irrational father. The point is, did the let his now established separation from the gods by actual deformities which could easily be traced back to said shitty parents, decide the fucked up fate of everything?!?!?

FUCK. NO.

Instead, he literally invented the ideas of smithing, or making something that just is into something MORE, HOLY SHIT. AND BE USED THAT VERY CONCEPT TO FORCE SPARKS OF FIRE TOGETHER INTO THE. NEW. FORCE. OF. FUCKING. ELECTRICY?!?!?! WHICH IS EVEN. ORE I PRESSIVE WHEN YOU THINK OF WHERE HE MUST GAVE GOTTEN THE MATERIALS FOR THAT NECESSARY ANVIL. HE FORGED/MOLDED IT OUT OF HIS FUCKING MONTROUS HANDS IM FUCKING SURE OF IT.

And. Only. Then. Did he proceed to make sure everyone had the tools (Zeus’s bolts, Posideons’s Trident, etc.,). Only once he broke the existential fuckiness of reality itself out of sheer force itself.

Look, I’m going to be comparing Midoriya Izuku to him somehow, I’m sure, but right now I need sleep. The point is;

IF THE UNIVERSE HAD A FUCKING CONCEPT OF WHAT A HERO IS, ITS FUCKING HEPHAESTUS.

[vohalika]

“Ioun is quite a goddess though, and she doesn’t respect secrets.”

Aka yes, I am going to be that person.

 Ioun does not like secrets. Which is why the entire quest to gain her favor involved getting a book that was locked away. Which is why you sought her out to find out about a ritual that had been kept secret. Which is why she locked herself away in secrecy.

Which is why she chose someone who quite frequently lies, deceives, and uses his knowledge to run a criminal organization, who fucks around with memories for personal gain or amusement as her champion. Yes. All of this adds up.

And yes, maybe I’ve spent too much time talking about this to see it clearly at this point, but like... Man. I feel like this was more due to Matt’s perception of how certain classes are supposed to be played rather than how the characters actually are played.

Yeah, sure, Bards are supposed to carry and impart knowledge and pass it on and tell your story. But as someone else aptly pointed out, Keyleth lives on to tell the story, Tary writes the Ember Island Players version, and Scanlan writes the porn parody.

The character of Scanlan as played so far is not a lore bard, he’s a troll bard. Nothing wrong with that! But also, wasn’t it part of his crisis that he always felt like the teller of stories, but never like part of it? Or is confirming the characters’ worst fears about themselves just what gods do at this point? I mean, Vex felt unworthy there for a second, and Percy has just been gobsmacked in the face by two goddesses now.

And I knoooow he seems fine. He says he’s fine. Vex says she’s fine with what Scanlan said to her before he left, too. This kind of reads the same?

And especially after Ioun just brought up redemption seconds before choosing her champion, this just... Yeah, sorry Percy, you’re unworthy of this, too, you secret keeping mad man, you. Of course Percy would take that in stride; it’s what he’s always believed about himself to begin with.

This sucks even more considering that they apparently really have to get going now. The trip to Kord was just turned down flat. No one even brought up Melora, or a suitable god for Percy. Maybe Moradin might be something to look into, but, you know, that’d be kind of weird. Taking the god of dwarves for anyone non-dwarven. I can see that work out for Grog, though, given his dwarven beard and hammer, because random loot is now totes relevant when tying people to gods.

Ugh. And I know this will be a none-issue. I knooow. Still.

And I hold that it doesn’t really fit Scanlan, either. If anything, Ioun represents what a bard is supposed to be, even though there should be a separate god for music and performance. If you wanted to make it about his character and his journey, give him a god of family or something. It’s like back when the quest for Scanlan’s vestige involved solving a riddle. Which was ultimately solved by Percy.

Also, secrets as the disqualifying thing? Just. No. I did the math. When you go by secrets, Percy and Scanlan lie and keep to themselves roughly the same amount of things. Just that most of the time, Percy has a good reason, whereas Scanlan just wants to fuck with people. Gah. I’ll probably write all of this out properly at some point, I’m just really kind of upset by this.

(Sprigg saying goodbye to Percy with the “I’m going to think of you when I read these books.” kind of moved me to tears, though. And Percy and Keyleth talking about fuck the gods and fuck destiny was perfect.)