#i knew big ben was the clock but i literally needed to google it to make sure i didn't sound dumb

[theres-a-goldensky]

16 + 2 Reddie Fic Recs pt. 2

I’m back and still on my Bill Hader bullshit, so here’s another round of Reddie fic recs, because I can’t stop reading and sometimes sifting through the insane amounts of fic is a nightmare. So if you feel my pain and need some (at least in my opinion) fun stories, then come along with me on a magical journey filled with men crying during sex, hypochondria, and your mom jokes.

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

IT chapter 2 list part one - Reddie

Good Omens fic 

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All my recs are completed, almost all of them are post-It chapter 2. * - denotes a favorite

1. I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - ~10,000 words, teen - The history of Eddie and Myra’s marriage shown through their posts on reddit. The voices here are great, and it really feels like reading the reddit forums, down to the people sleuthing through their past posts and comments to try and figure out if what they’re saying is real or an elaborate troll.

 r/relationships

Posted by u/martymcfly6xo 7 months ago

 My (39F) husband (39M) likes horrible stand-up comedy. How can I stop him from bringing this up in front of our mutual friends?

For the last year or so my husband has been watching a lot of stand-up comedy on youtube. I want him to have something relaxing to do (he works a lot and gets really invested in his ‘hands-on’ hobbies in a way I’m not sure is good for him) but I was very puzzled by this discovery as he likes very crass acts and that is certainly not the kind of humor hubby usually enjoys...

2. all of the kids back home believing much more than you do by eatcheeseliveforever - ~11,000 words, explicit - This is a fix-it fic, which is becoming more and more rare in this fandom as we collectively started deciding that Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t need to be brought back to live, because he never died in the first place, dammit. It has some great pining by Richie. You can really feel his grief and desperation as he searches for a way to get Eddie back. The other Losers are great in this too, especially Mike with his whales.

"A boat, actually," murmured Mike.  "I'm on a whale-watching cruise."

Richie mouthed the words "whale watching cruise" to himself.  Empirically he knew such things existed, that they happened not far away from the coast where he lived, but it felt like several fucking galaxies away from where he was, surrounded by the ghosts of takeouts and blackouts past and the actual ghost-ghosts, who he couldn't step in or stub his toe on at three in the morning, but hurt so much worse.

"He said you've been googling resurrection rituals."

Richie scrounged through his pile of empties, hoping one wasn't.  "Bill talks too much."

"Richie."  A sigh, or a wave, or a really quiet whale.  "You're not going to find a resurrection ritual on Google."

"I've found hundreds," said Richie.  "Funny thing, though, they all seem to call for orgies.  Or virgin sacrifices.  Or sacrificing someone's virginity in an orgy.  I'm hoping Ben will volunteer as tribute."

3. * - you’ve got the answers to my confessions by QueerOnTilMorning - ~17,000 words, explicit - This is the good stuff right here. Richie accidentally sexts Eddie and Eddie is IN. TO. IT. This fic starts with excellent phone sex, there’s misunderstandings and confessions in the middle, and then it ends with super hot sex. There’s a brief part with karaoke that was a bit of a lull in the story, but doesn’t take away from how great the rest is.

     suck on ur tongue  

     show u how much I missd that mouth  

     when u start getting weak in the knees  

     thats when ill get on mine  

 He set the phone aside to unzip his pants, palming himself through his boxers, already half-hard.

 Then he froze.

 The text he had just replied to--it was what he'd expected Travis to say, but it wasn't how Travis would say it. That text began with a capital letter and contained punctuation. That text was from--

 "Oh, fuck, no," Richie whispered, and his phone rang.

 Incoming call: Eds

4. * -  L'Appel du Vide by Mackem - ~92,000 words, teen - I know, I know, almost 100k and no sex, but hear me out! The pining in this fic is so exquisitely beautiful and wrenching. Eddie’s POV is excellent and feels really spot on. The other Losers are well represented, especially Ben and Bev. In fact, the group dynamics here are almost as good as the relationship stuff. The later chapters bring in a subplot about the deadlights that I wasn’t that interested in, but it’s still done really, really well, and that’s only a side plot that doesn’t impact that exceptional story of Eddie and Richie figuring out how to stop being dummies.

Two messages, however, are from Stanley, sent to him privately. He opens them, and is met with a picture of Richie, apparently taken without him realising.

It shows him laughing, his eyes crinkled at the corners behind his glasses, and his smile bright and broad as a hand gestures wildly in the air. The other hand is in his hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he tilts his head back, displaying the line of his throat beneath his stubble.

The breath is punched from Eddie at the sight of it.

He stares at it for a long moment, surprised by the depth of his reaction. His stomach is swirling happily, a bubble of excitement growing at the pit, and he cannot help but feel a heated flush build at his cheeks.

It’s probably just because Richie looks like he’s enjoying himself. It’s good to see his friend having fun. That has to be it.

Then he reads Stan’s message.

Stan: He was talking about you. He does that a lot.

5. my love a beacon in the night - by zach_stone - ~4500 words, explicit - Richie is on the road doing shows through Christmas. His friends have a surprise for him. I know it’s almost Valentine’s Day, but it’s never the wrong time for a fluffy Christmas story imo.

 “Yep, just got to my hotel,” Richie says. “Now I’m getting ready for my big Christmas Eve plans.”

 Eddie snorts. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

 “Well according to my TV guide, they’re doing a rerun of The Mistletoe Promise, so I’m all fuckin’ set,” Richie says, grinning when Eddie laughs. On Eddie’s end of the line, he hears the sound of cars passing by, the muffled chatter of people, and says, “Are you outside?”

 “Huh? Oh, yeah,” Eddie says.

 Richie glances at the clock on the nightstand. It’s after ten; Eddie’s not one to be wandering around Times Square after dark. He frowns slightly. Eddie’s been unusually vague about his holiday plans, so Richie has no clue what he’s up to this evening. Not that it’s any of his business. Maybe he’s started seeing someone and is spending the holidays with them. Richie has a sudden image of Eddie, arm-in-arm with some generically pretty woman, taking in the lights and decorations around the city. It opens a pit in his stomach.

6. Coming Back and Coming Out: Richie Tozier's 2019 by Lunatical - ~2000 words, teen - I genuinely adore the mixed media fics that this fandom has spawned. This one is an excerpt from a magazine interview with Richie as he restarts his career.

Slouched on his couch in a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and torn-up jeans, Richie Tozier looks exactly like the manchild he is describing himself to be. Next to him, sitting up straight and dressed in a lovely suit that most people would consider appropriate for an interview, his husband rolls his eyes.

When we scheduled this interview, Tozier insisted we hold it at their house, citing a desire for the interview to be “as chill as possible”—in his own words, of course. He argued that seeing the two of them in their usual environment would help me get a better idea of the kind of relationship they have. After walking into their apartment and seeing the way they’ve decorated the place, I have to admit that I can understand why.

7. baby, there’s no other superstar by kaspbrakziers - ~7000 words, mature - Another mixed media fic that shows the progression of Richie and Eddie’s relationship and Richie’s career through tweets, texts, and interviews. Eddie not knowing how to turn off the capslock on his phone absolutely sent me.

Search history

Today Sunday, 13 November 2016

should i get a divorce? - Google Search

Unhappily Married: Should I get a divorce? - Yahoo Answers

10 Signs Your Marriage Is Over - Buzzfeed

how to divorce? - Google Search

How To File For Divorce (With Pictures) - wikiHow

how to divorce someone without them getting angry? – Google Search

can you divorce someone without telling them? - Google Search

8. Goes on Trips for the Scenery by InkandOwl - ~4500 words, teen - Eddie dies and then comes back to life and tries to get some perspective. I liked the conversations between Eddie and Richie and then way that Eddie starts to take care of himself. The end is really sweet.

If cosmic power and a literal alien space clown’s death wasn’t going to bring him back to life, Eddie was certain that the terrible pain of hearing Richie beg, his tears dropping onto Eddie’s face, probably would’ve done it. He feels sick just thinking about it. About what it all means. “Yeah, Rich, I will.” He could throw a jab at him, tell him something about eating like an adult for once, but he wants to be easy with him right now. Richie deserves it. “You’ll text, right?”

Richie looks down at the prepaid cricket phone in Eddie’s hand and laughs, “There’s no fucking way that thing gets texts.”

“It does.” Eddie grins, “You could call too.”

The fight drains from Richie, his shoulder slumping and he sighs, “Yeah, Eds, I’ll call.”

9. cause i'm about to blow that back out by thotgreeves - ~5000 words, explicit - Here, have some porn. Eddie wears lingerie and Richie loses his goddamn mind. Features submissive top Richie and his unending boner for Eddie.

Richie really should have learnt to never underestimate Eddie Kaspbrak by now. It had come close to killing Richie once, but Eddie might actually be trying to finish him off.

Because the other perk of always letting Eddie go ahead of him was that it gave Richie a prime view of Eddie's ass. Eddie knew about this part and was okay with it. He was wearing a high-waisted pair of slacks that Richie was pretty sure came from the women's section, slightly loose in the legs but nicely filled out by his ass. Richie had been very vocal in the past about how hot they got him, which signaled that Eddie definitely wanted to have sex tonight, and that was already enough to make Richie's dick twitch in excitement. He hadn't been prepared for the finishing blow.

Richie's eyes were fixed, pendulum-like, on how Eddie's slacks were hugging his butt perfectly with every step he took, tight enough to show off the outline of his underwear. Only the folds didn't sit where Richie had expected them to. Instead, Richie realized, his mouth going dry, that in the absence of boxers, there was only a V-shaped crease running from Eddie's hips to between his asscheeks, which could only mean-

Eddie was wearing a thong.

10. * - I’ll Be Homo For Christmas by Amuly - ~15,000 words, explicit - Bill and Audra get a divorce, so Bill moves into Richie’s house with him. Eddie, watching all of this from New York, where he’s still married to Myra, is super, super ok and fine with it in every way.

Except then Richie started posting.

Just stupid shit, mostly with Bill. It wasn’t even real. Eddie knew Bill wasn’t gay and him and Richie were just fucking around ‘for the ‘gram!’ But the more posts Eddie scrolled past on Richie’s Instagram—

 Bill in the kitchen swatting at Richie with a spatula.

 Richie and Bill at the pound, Richie rating dogs on adoptability, Richie begging Bill to adopt a dog with him.

 Richie in the morning with bedhead, smiling blearily into the camera as Bill…

Well. Eddie couldn’t even remember what stupid thing Bill was supposed to be doing in the background of that photo because his eyes couldn’t get past Richie’s bedhead and shirtless torso, chest hairs creeping up towards his collarbones and the little dip at the base of his throat.

Eddie hadn’t thought he was homophobic. But he must have some unresolved issues with it, because he got a stomachache every time he looked at that photo of Richie. Eddie popped a Tums and resolved to talk about it with his therapist.

11. A High-Five is a Hug You Can Hit by Amuly - ~26,000 words, explicit - This fic shows us times throughout their friendship when Eddie and Richie would invent reasons to touch each other without even knowing why. This author feels the same bone deep conviction about Richie crying during sex that I do, and I greatly appreciate that. Plus, all of their stories are fantastic, including this one.

“You know, one of the symptoms of hypothermia is feeling like you’re warm. So like, your body gets so cold that it gets hot, and then you start taking off your clothes-”

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Eddie?” Richie shot back at him without turning around.

“Why don’t you ask your sister how much she liked it last week!” Eddie hollered up at him. Richie just flipped him off without looking. That kinda… bugged Eddie. What the fuck did Richie think he was doing leading up the group with Bill? Why was he stuck back here with Stan? Eddie glanced over at Stan, who was trudging tiredly through the woods alongside him, breath puffing out in little clouds of smoke.

“Okay, Stan?”

Stan glanced over at him, confused. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, fine. Cold.”

“Well that’s better than feeling warm.” And now Eddie was back on track. “Because, if anyone starts feeling warm, they should tell the others immediately. That’s a sign of hypothermia. And we have to warm you up. But you have to do it gradually, you can’t just jump in like, a pot of boiling water-”

12. * - fall apart of stay intact by kaspbrak_kid - ~19,000 words, teen - A more melancholy take on the Christmas fic. This story takes Richie’s self-esteem issues and mental problems and amps them up in a way that feels entirely realistic. The gang comes together to celebrate Christmas, and everyone is walking on eggshells because last Christmas was a bad one for Richie. Also, Eddie moves into the house literally right next to Richie’s, and I find that detail endlessly charming.

“Five minutes ago. I called you, and you didn’t answer. Because you were outside, apparently, fucking...stargazing in December! With no hat on!”

“It’s about the Vitamin D!” Richie says. Now that he’s moved a little, he can really feel the cold—his ears are aching, and his face is numb. “Reflecting off the moon, or something. I have seasonal depression, you know!”

“You have seasonal stupidity,” Eddie mutters, audibly rubbing his hands together. “Just get inside.”

“Yours or mine?” Richie jokes.

Eddie doesn’t get the memo. “Mine, obviously. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

“Oh,” Richie says, and sits up. “Um. Okay, be right there.”

“Oh, thank god,” Eddie says, and hightails it to his back door, cursing about the cold.

13. evidence of a happier future by lagaudiere - 23,000 words, mature - I am here, leading the Jealous!Eddie revolution. Why aren’t there more fics about this. Have you SEEN Eddie Kaspbrak, can you IMAGINE him jealous? Make this happen, fandom. Anyway, in this one, Richie has a boyfriend back in LA. Eddie has trouble dealing with that as he tries to figure himself out and pick up the pieces of his life post-Derry.

“It’s not gonna be like Mike’s announcement, don’t worry,” Richie says hastily. “And it’s not like, a huge thing, so don’t make it a huge thing. But you guys are like, my best friends, and I just wanted you to know that I’m, uh. Gay.”

He turns up his palms and raises his eyebrows in a gesture that suggests a magician presenting his audience with an empty hat after making the rabbit disappear, and Eddie says, “Are you joking?”

“What? Jesus, no, Eddie.” Richie’s face falls, and Eddie instantly feels guilty. “I’m trying to be sincere here.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says immediately, feeling all of their friends looking at him with reproach. “I was just — if you weren’t, I wouldn’t think you should… joke about it.”

“Well, I am,” Richie says. He sounds slightly put out — and who wouldn’t be, Eddie scolds himself, by that ridiculous response. “I have all the gay credientials. I have a boyfriend, partner, whatever people say. I don’t really tell people because of the whole, stage persona, thing. But yeah.”

“Richie!” Bev’s voice breaks through the awkwardness, and she reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thank you for telling us. Really.”

And the others all join in, a chorus of voices telling Richie they love him and they’re proud of him, and Ben is saying, “I wanna see a picture of the guy!” and Eddie’s throat feels like it’s closing up.

14. The ‘Do Not Fucking Touch Me’ Tour by MellytheHun - ~23,000 words, explicit - It’s Richie’s comeback special, and he makes it a big one. This...isn’t really a comedy show, but the author lampshades that. It’s an excuse to have Richie talk about how much he loves each of his friends individually, and it’s extremely entertaining. Richie doesn’t know that Eddie is in the audience watching it all.

“Hey, uhm… Eddie… he couldn’t reschedule his thing? He - I mean... it… it was really that important?”

She feels awful for him immediately, but not wanting to spoil what would ultimately be a lovely surprise, she tells him, “I’m sorry, Rich. He said it was urgent. He was really sorry about it.”

Her phone buzzes with a text from Eddie right as Richie curses under his breath, missing the noise. She clutches her phone more tightly in her fist, knowing Eddie is wondering where his seat is going to be; she bought him a separate ticket, elsewhere in the theatre, so Richie wouldn’t catch him sitting among them, as he will absolutely, inevitably look over to the Losers for most of the show.

“Okay,” Richie surrenders sadly, “Uh - I guess he’ll see it eventually, right?”

Smiling forlornly at him, she pats his arm, and tells him, “don’t worry, Richie. Your genius will inevitably be forced upon us all.”

He smiles at her, gives her a kiss on the cheek, and when Bill jokingly asks why he didn’t get one, Richie flips him off, and reminds them to treat themselves to the bar in the lobby.

Once he’s backstage, Beverly takes her phone out, and emails Eddie his ticket, explains that she’s already convinced Richie he’s not coming, and to make sure he doesn’t show up too early, or Richie will notice.

15. The List by cissues - ~7000 words, teen - Eddie finds a list he wrote as a teenager. Richie tries his best to fulfill them all. This is very sweet.

‘ All the things I want. Everything I’m not allowed to have. A perfect summer. ”

The words hit gentler than he thought they would, but they still hit and he finds himself blinking away at a wetness at the corner of his eye. He wipes at it and sniffles and Richie peers sidelong at him to make sure he’s okay. He is, he’s fine, and Richie never dotes on him when things are, generally, okay. Only when he needs it, which is one of the many things he loves about what they have now.

“This is… this is like a fucking  bucket list  for the most repressed child in the world.” Richie says, breathless.

Eddie rolls his eyes to hide the sting. “You’re looking at him,” he says, bitter. Richie frowns at him but turns back to the paper. Another thing Eddie loves, Richie never takes his trauma-induced bait. His knee-jerk reactions developed over years of what he’s now comfortable enough to call abuse.

16. Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions by DeadpanMage - ~2000 words, teen - This is a short one, but the transcript of this popular YT video format with Richie felt spot on in terms of characterization and Richie’s voice.

[Back to the text screen: “So WIRED asked Richie Tozier some of the internet’s burning questions.” Cut back to Richie, now holding a poster board with several Google autocomplete searches half covered.]

Richie: I’ve undergone something of a rebranding in the past year, so I wonder how many of these questions are going to be super irrelevant-slash-embarrassing. Probably all of them. Let’s get started! [He tears the covering off of the first question.] Alright, that’s not bad. “How to pronounce Richie Tozier?” Well, we’re only on question one and I’ve already said it like a hundred times so there you go. And that’s “Richie Tozier” spelled J-O-H-N M-U-L-A-N-E-Y, so if you’ve got any complaints be sure to send them that way. Next question!

You can check out a larger list of stories I’ve enjoyed in my AO3 bookmarks. And finally, if you’re interested, here are the two fics I’ve written:

1. Waiting For a Sign - ~6000 words, explicit - Eddie meets Richie again and comes to the startling realization that he totally wants to hit that.

Maybe if Richie wasn’t famous, Eddie could have found a way to let it go. A couple furtive jerk off sessions in the shower after he got back to New York and the image of Richie’s big hands and wide smile and improbably flattering stubble would fade from his mind.

But Richie was famous, and the internet never forgot.

Eddie lasted three days before giving in and typing ‘Richie Tozier’ into the YouTube search bar. Just seeing Richie in the thumbnails was enough to make Eddie’s heart thud, what the fuck. He had to scroll past a bunch of news videos about Richie's supposed mental breakdown, but after that he landed on some old stand-up.

Before he clicked on the first video, he got up and made sure that the door of his study was locked. Then he turned off the lights and put on a pair of earbuds.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It - ~21,000 words, explicit - It’s that totally relatable situation where the man you’re secretly in love with is a celebrity who just came out and now needs a fake boyfriend to keep himself in the spotlight. Eddie offers to help out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s insanely fucking jealous.

Eddie froze, breath catching in his throat.

Richie looked...really good.

Bev’s influence was obvious. His hair, which had been unkempt and shaggy, a perfect match for his stoner permakid schtick, was cut much shorter and neater. His formerly unruly stubble somehow now emphasized the sharp cut of his jaw instead of obscuring it.

He wore new glasses, Eddie noticed. Slim silver metal frames instead of his giant, clunky plastic ones. The fitted black sweater and dark blue jeans were simple, but made his shoulders look impossibly broad and his legs miles long.

Fuck everything and Beverly Marsh in particular.

LINK TO MY FIRST SET OF REDDIE RECS 30+ FICS

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #209 & #210

Hello! If you clicked the “John Bryne” tag, well, this is his first stint as penciler. If you want to get to the stuff where he’s taken over the mag entirely, feel free to skip to #232. I’ll drop a link here once I’ve written that issue up.

Sun Sep 8 2019 [01:43 PM] Wack'd: ...huh

[01:44 PM] maxwellelvis: HERBIE! [01:44 PM] Wack'd: I knew HERBIE eventually made his way to the comics but this is a fast turnaround [01:44 PM] maxwellelvis: 😃 [01:44 PM] Wack'd: Also, yes: adorable [01:44 PM] Umbramatic: ben you are indeed cute [01:44 PM] Bocaj: .................... what would A-type be? [01:45 PM] Wack'd: A control freak [01:45 PM] Bocaj: fair [01:45 PM] Bocaj: ALSO: "I was out of town when the contracts needed to be signed" [01:45 PM] maxwellelvis: And much more tolerable when he's not taking Johnny's spot on the team in a cartoon where Reed defeats Magneto with "A WOODEN GUN?!" [01:45 PM] Bocaj: i'm besides myself. What a great stupid handwave [01:46 PM] Wack'd: The real explication is that Marvel had already licensed Johnny to a different company for a live-action film that never materialized [01:46 PM] Bocaj: hahah [01:46 PM] Bocaj: marvel's rights nonsense has always been nonsense [01:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Hard to believe that before She-Hulk and Deadpool, it was the Fantastic Four that were the Marvel heroes who prodded at the fourth wall the most. [01:47 PM] Wack'd:

Ben: Just tell me this, Stretch: he gonna talk back ta me like that cartoon show creep? Reed: HERBIE is a functioning analog computer. I didn't design a robot with a sense of humor.

[01:47 PM] Wack'd: :( [01:47 PM] Umbramatic: pfft [01:47 PM] maxwellelvis: They've always had a touch of that, as writers can't resist using the Four's status as celebrity figures as an opportunity to comment on the comics industry and merchandising and stuff like that. [01:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Like the probably infamous Free Comic Book Day comic [01:48 PM] Wack'd: hahaahahahahaha yaaaaaay

[01:49 PM] Umbramatic: rip ben [01:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh no, he's gone rogue! [01:49 PM] Wack'd: And so the Four and HERBIE set out to find Galactus [01:49 PM] Wack'd: The only being powerful enough to stop Sphinx [01:49 PM] maxwellelvis: SPHINX! [01:49 PM] Wack'd: You might remember the High Evolutionary turned him into a giant brain [01:49 PM] Wack'd: So this'll be tricky [01:50 PM] Wack'd: R'Klll's evil plan was just to shoot him in the back? Kind of an anticlimax

[01:51 PM] maxwellelvis: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. [01:51 PM] Umbramatic: oof [01:52 PM] Wack'd: I love funhouse mirror space travel

[01:52 PM] Umbramatic: WE'VE REACHED LUDICROUS SPEED [01:53 PM] maxwellelvis: MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET! [01:54 PM] Wack'd: "Oh, Johnny. Just do what I did--take a hiatus until a new writer shows up, half-forgets why you left, and pretend you had a bunch of character development off-panel!"

[01:55 PM] Bocaj: Pfft [01:55 PM] Bocaj: Also Galactus is a giant brain now? [01:55 PM] Wack'd: Also, our first big time-retcon--Johnny was a junior in high school when the team formed [01:56 PM] Wack'd: But now he was "barely out of high school", bumping his timeline up two years [01:56 PM] Wack'd: @Bocaj : Yes. [See issue #175] Though I doubt it's made him any smarter [01:56 PM] Wack'd: This is literally the first time the Sargasso of Space has been mentioned but sure

[01:57 PM] maxwellelvis: Watch out for Space Russians testing new weapons, and for Space Ghost Pirates [01:57 PM] Wack'd: Ben: So this is where the Battlestar Galactica went to die. [01:58 PM] Bocaj: There was something like the sargasso of space in a silver surfer book I read [01:58 PM] Bocaj: But there was a lot of dust and stuff so it was really hard to navigate [01:58 PM] Bocaj: Like a nebula but weirder [01:59 PM] Bocaj: Englehart Surfer [02:00 PM] Wack'd: So it turns out there's a survivor on one of these ships--a guard on a prison transport. He dies almost immediately and begs the Four to stop the escaped prisoners. Ben takes it personal because the guard looks like this

[02:01 PM] Wack'd: "I owe it to him--one monster to another!" [02:01 PM] Wack'd: Never mind that he species probably just looks like that [02:01 PM] Umbramatic: "rude" [02:01 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey the criminals are all also this species [02:02 PM] Wack'd: So there's no thematic point here at all, just dragging out the plot [02:04 PM] Wack'd: One of the criminals makes a break for the Four's ship, but when the Four catch up with him he's already dead. HERBIE denies responsibility, arousing Ben's suspicions. [02:04 PM] Wack'd: Ah, here's the point. It was secretly a Johnny story all along!

[02:06 PM] Wack'd: So hey, incidentally, a thing I should mention: [02:06 PM] Wack'd: This is John Bryne's first Fantastic Four issue! [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Huh [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Wolfman's still writing and Bryne won't be taking over that role for another couple of years [02:07 PM] Wack'd: But it's interesting to note [02:08 PM] Bocaj: oh shiz [02:08 PM] Wack'd: There'll be some stopovers at guest artists but he's gonna be our main dude for the next year or so, pencils-wise

Sun Sep 8 2019 [02:09 PM] Wack'd: A day has passed since last issue [02:09 PM] Wack'd: We're taking this ticking clock with the Four aging pretty seriously [02:11 PM] Wack'd: So they're trapped in a meteor storm. Sue and Ben are batting away the meteors. Reed decides they need to jump back to warp but Ben figures they won't make it without him defending the ship and refuses to come back inside [02:11 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny does the only thing he can think of--shoots himself out the airlock without a helmet, forcing Ben to rescue him [02:11 PM] Wack'd: These guys are pretty dumb sometimes [02:12 PM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:12 PM] Umbramatic: oh [02:13 PM] Wack'd: Behold: the only accurate definition of a parsec in sci-fi history. (I googled it)

[02:13 PM] Umbramatic: amazing [02:13 PM] Bocaj: "My calculations must be accurate. Otherwise we're fucked" "Thats... thats not actually a guarantee" [02:14 PM] Wack'd: So, uh [02:14 PM] Wack'd: Apparently eating Poppup caused Galactus to have enough organic matter to rebuild his body? I guess? [02:14 PM] Wack'd: So that's solved [02:15 PM] Wack'd: In the time it took to find Galactus' ship another day passed. We're at 29 hours [02:15 PM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:15 PM] Wack'd: Reed's hair is getting greyer but besides that everyone seems fine [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Women live longer than men. It would make more sense for literally anyone else to get fatigued

[02:18 PM] Wack'd: Galactus refuses to acknowledge them even when they throw stuff at him [02:18 PM] Wack'd: So they go for Plan Curly

[02:19 PM] Wack'd: FREE ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE ZOO [02:19 PM] maxwellelvis: HAHAHAHHAHAHA! [02:19 PM] maxwellelvis: They forgot the tiger stripes [02:20 PM] Wack'd: I dig the hell out of these creature designs

[02:21 PM] Wack'd: Also Sue privately exposits that Storms always die young which is why she'll be the first to go. Fine [02:22 PM] Wack'd: So! They get the attention of Galactus [02:22 PM] Umbramatic: i also dig these creature designs [02:23 PM] Wack'd: And Reed cuts a deal: if Galactus helps them defeat Sphinx, Reed will release him from his vow to never again attack Earth [02:23 PM] Umbramatic: oh [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Galactus agrees, on the condition they retrieve the new Herald Galactus has picked out [02:24 PM] Wack'd: And he teleports them away to complete this task [02:25 PM] Bocaj: FFS REED [02:25 PM] Bocaj: Apparently Dan Slott forgot this story because he has Reed call Galactus out for attacking Earth when he promised not to [02:25 PM] Bocaj: And Galactus is like 'fuck you' [02:25 PM] Wack'd: Maybe that vow gets remade later [02:26 PM] Bocaj: Maybe [02:26 PM] Bocaj: I pity anyone that tries to seriously uphold all continuity [02:26 PM] Bocaj: Its tangled nonsense [02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Galactus is also like "okay this is obvious bullshit and you're gonna stop me from eating Earth again but I have some pride bound up in this so I'm just glad I have the opportunity to try again"