#i kind of just yell for a while

[andiv3r]

Sorry for the recent increases of venting on main but here's another one

Why the fuck is it that every time I'm a part of a friend group where the people there start to feel like family to me, something happens where somebody gets pissed at someone else for god knows what reason and it all goes to shit and suddenly I'm looking at a burnt pile of ash where there used to be a house... no, a home, and now instead there's a fucking battleground. Why is that, huh? Is there something fucking wrong with me where I'm... like... doomed to never be a part of a friend group that sticks together? Is that it? Am I doing something wrong? I must be doing something wrong. I've got to be doing something wrong, otherwise this wouldn't keep fucking happening to me. I thought I had found home again. But no, apparently I'm not allowed to feel safe around a group of people for that long. Shoulda fuckin' known.

[lelslizzylebs]

I have two (2) Chilchuck thoughts:

[ryllen]

x

[ambrosiagourmet]

Take this with a grain of salt but I don’t think Izutsumi necessarily MUST be be viewed as canonically aroace. I do not have a problem with that reading at all, to be clear, but I’ve been mulling this over for a while and with how much self-loathing and neglect informs her character it just doesn’t seem to entirely fair in insist on taking the “I don’t have a type” line at face value.

She’s a traumatized 17-year-old girl who thinks she’s unlovable and has never had the freedom to chose what to do with her life. Of course she doesn’t have a type and longs for a mom to love her unconditionally.

[asoulwithadream]

Day 12: Scene (from OFMD) that made you laugh

"So we're having a thing on- OH GOD I'M SO SORRY"

"There's a sock on the door!" "ARE YOU A FREAKING IDIOT!?"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

"Uhm- we're having a thing on deck for Captain-"

"GET OUT!!" "CLOSE THE DOOR!" "Sorry-"

"Hey Jim. Glad you're back!"

[danieyells]

How Much Is An SSR Worth?

Summary: Ren gets Taiga's help. SFW.

----

The Sinostra students looked up at the approaching stranger. Their looks were clearly unfriendly, untrustworthy, and some of them even reached in their blazers as if for weapons(were they allowed to walk around campus armed!?) Ren froze and grit his teeth, looking at the little group of gangsters and at the blood red mop of hair of their leader who didn't even turn around to acknowledge him. He was starting to regret thinking this could work--there was no way this was worth it.

Before he could start to back away, the Captain of the Sinsotra house tipped his head further back, directing a pair of bright yellow eyes at him from where they'd been staring emptily into the ceiling. Ren froze. The slow blink he received reminded him of a cat video he'd seen online, albeit significantly less cute and even less likely to be a sign of affection.

". . .who're you?"

Ren briefly felt like he'd been transported into a mafia movie. It was the gravel in his voice, or maybe the cold look in his eyes.

He floundered for a bit, trying to come up with a way to bring up why he came over that didn't sound ludicrous to a normie. Just looking at this guy, he wouldn't know a thing about what he was talking about or needed--but he knew he might be his only hope right now. Maybe Taiga caught on to that hopelessness, or maybe he was amused by the fumbling, because his dull expression became a curious and interested one.

"Oh. Ain't you one of Harry's kids?" Harry? Did Haru know this guy!? Somehow that made it worse. Taiga spun around in his seat to look at Ren properly, his excited expression showing off his shark-like teeth. Those might be cool, if not for that he followed this question up with, "you here to bring me my lunch?"

"Your lunch?"

"Yeah. One of my guys promised me he'd get me something to eat." Taiga gave a sideways nod to the Sinostra students who were sitting with him. "And Harry's place is full of all that fresh meat, ain't it? You ain't here to deliver anything for me?"

"Fresh--" He wanted to eat the anomalies? Was anybody in this place normal? "N-no, I'm not here to bring you anything!"

"Oh." Taiga deflated and pouted. "So, who the fuck are you then? You got a debt to pay? Lulu doesn't like me doing business outside the casino without him around, but I can still handle that."

This was definitely starting to feel like Ren was in over his head.

"I just. I heard some things."

"Oooh." Taiga, once again, thinks he's got it and smiles. "You need a loan? You want some illicit goods? You want somebody to turn up in Tokyo Bay?"

"What!? No!! Are you seriously saying all that shit in broad daylight!?"

"Maybe I'm not serious about it at all!" Taiga laughed, seeming amused by Ren's increasing discomfort.

"I don't need things from Sinostra! I heard some things about you! I need something from you!"

Taiga was quiet for a moment, head tilted and eyes wide like he wasn't expecting personal business. Then he pouted again, looking off to the side. "Is Lulu trying to. . .nah, he wouldn't do that. Not without tellin' me. . .selling someone's organs would be a lot more lucrative than whoring me out anyway." He muttered to himself for a moment, while Ren fished his phone out of his pocket and thrust it towards him.

He immediately jumped back as the Sinostra students drew weapons to point at him. Taiga held up a hand to stop them from gunning someone down in the cafeteria and stared dully into the screen.

". . .the fuck is this?"

"I don't have a lot of resources and I don't have a lot of time--and I heard your luck is incredible, and I just need you to press this button here."

Ren pointed at a confirmation button on the screen, careful not to tap it. Taiga stared at it as if it weren't two sentences worth of text and it was taking a long time to read.

He reached forward and tapped the screen, then snatched Ren's wrist when he tried to pull away and protest being taken out of it. A few colorful characters appeared from behind the darkened screen of the confirmation popup. The link advertising rates immediately caught Taiga's eye, and he tapped at the screen, scrolling through the numbers with increasing interest.

The rates for the most artful of characters were insanely low, and a quick tap of the gems in the top of the screen said they cost a pretty penny. He idly committed the prices and numbers to memory(where they were lost as soon as he moved away from the screen) to calculate the value of.

"What're you doing!? I just--you just have to do the pull! You don't need to look at anything else!"

"This is gambling!" Taiga said cheerfully. "Some real shit odds at that! What, you're going for that one? It looks kinda like you, kid!"

He pointed at a character near the top of the rate screen. "No, I pulled that one already, somehow. . .it's the topmost one I'm after. Everybody says it's completely overpowered and all of the new meta's based on this unit, not to mention the art--"

Taiga nodded along, the gacha having had drawn some of his interest as a gambler. Way less fun than a game with anything of interest on the line, but it still seemed interesting. Not the characters or units or anything of that sort, but the act of pulling for things of value. . .he supposed it was named after gachapon machines. But the virtual nature of it meant less limited potential. . .so the artificial scarcity was formed by limited time features like this.

Quite the business tactic. Romeo might like it.

"So you just need me to press this button here, yeah?" Taiga navigated back to the gacha as though he'd been playing the game since release. He was almost invested now. "And you want me to get you this thing or whatever."

"Yes!! If you can!!" Taiga sneered and popped open the confirmation menu.

"Kid, I don't lose bets--"

Once again guns were pointed at Ren as he grabbed Taiga's finger before he could do the pull. Not appreciating the contact, Taiga smacked his hand away, and he winced at the feeling of his rings colliding with his palm.

"You--" he swallowed, trying to ignore the threats. The look on Taiga's face almost made him want to call it quits again. This was already way more effort than it was worth. . .to a normal person, anyway, but this pull could be the true beginning or the end of his playing this game. "You need to hold down on the screen, after you press the button. It doesn't seem like it does anything, but I swear I've gotten better pulls that way--"

"I don't need your superstitions, brat."

With that, Taiga tapped the button without even looking at the screen, glaring uncomfortably into Ren's face. At first, he was frozen, before the audio cue prompted him to spin the phone screen to face himself. "Wait, you did a single pull!? You were supposed to do a ten, the rate is higher that way!"

"Don't need it."

"But if I don't get it that's a waste of my--!!!"

Ren's jaw dropped as the screen flashed a multitude of colors. The gacha music faded out, and a new track began to play, a popular voice actress' recorded line playing accompanying the subtitled dialogue being spelt out across the screen. His eyes went wide as the SSR's unique animation played, and he watched on as his desperately desired pull came through on a single, effortless shot from a stranger.

"Holy shit you got it." Taiga grinned, looking over Ren's shoulder at the new unit, completely unaware of what it meant. At most, the art was kind of nice. Ren looked like he was holding in tears--or maybe a scream. "You actually. . .in a single pull!?"

"Gyahahaha! Told you I don't lose, kid!" He threw an overly friendly arm around Ren's shoulders. Ren looked at Taiga like he was a hero. Of course he did, until Taiga said, "hey. . .you ever heard the expression 'there's no such thing as a free lunch?'"

For a moment, Ren remembered all of the things Taiga mentioned before. Debts. Deaths. Illicit substances. His face fell, and Taiga gave him a squeeze and a friendly shake and a smile that was more sinister than sincere. For a moment, Ren wondered if he'd gotten himself into something he couldn't get out of. Did this single gacha pull just pull him into a life of crime? Was he about to be some sort of drug runner for the local organized crime house? Did he need to kill somebody? Could he kill somebody?

". . .What do I owe you?" It was just a gacha pull! Why did he go to the guys who look like the mob for a gacha pull!? What a stupid idea, just because he overheard that the captain of Sinostra had some unbelievable luck. The triumphant music playing from his phone and the animated character on the screen offered him no comfort and Taiga bore his sharp teeth in a grin.

"I'm glad you asked! Lulu throws a little bitchfit whenever I do somebody a favor without a price, even if it's a personal favor and not a Sinostra one." He leaned his cheek against Ren, tapping painted nails against his chest. "And I'd guess you'd ordinarily need to do a lot more than just one pull to get what you wanted, yeah? Maybe ten, maybe even a hundred?"

Ren nodded stiffly. The rates for this game were abysmal. But it was addictive.

"So the value. . .it's way more than just one, isn't it." He couldn't remember the numbers he'd seen earlier exactly, but he could do some calculations in his head. If he bothered to. But he knew enough people with gambling addictions to know how Ren's mind worked. This service was nigh invaluable to him. "And I saved you money. That's practically worth interest."

"W-wait a second!" Ren pulled away--or, perhaps Taiga let Ren pull away. "This didn't cost you anything but a few seconds, maybe a couple minutes! The gems you spent on the pull, they weren't even 1,000 yen in total! I could pay you that out of pocket and--"

"Y'know what? You're right. It didn't cost me a thing, what'm I even saying!" He laughed and smiled in a friendly way. Ren didn't trust the sudden change in attitude in the slightest. He'd let his guard down. But it couldn't stay down. "Hell, it was even kinda fun. All the flashy lights and pretty sounds--and you got your little drawing out of it, right? Not to mention, you're one of Harry's kids, aren't'cha!"

"Eugh. I am not his. . . ." Ren stopped himself, then grit his teeth. This could save him. Haru could be of use for once. "Y-yeah, I uh. . .he's a great. . .father. . .? Anyway, if you had fun and I got what I wanted, then we're even, right?"

"Sure, sure!" Taiga clapped Ren on the shoulder. "Hey, you got more of those things you want? It was pretty fun, I wouldn't mind helping you out again if you ever want more!"

This appealed too heavily to Ren's sensitivities for him to stay on guard like he wanted. ". . .really? If you don't get results, I'm not asking you again."

"Yeah, really! I'm waiting on my lunch anyway, what else've you got?"

". . .and I don't have to pay?"

"Nah, no cash. No crazy favors. Don't even worry about it."

That specific wording should have tipped him off that he wasn't entirely off scott free, but the idea of more free SSRs in his account catalogue enticed him too much. Taiga looked at his phone screen and tapped through to the gacha again.

". . .well. . .the unit gets stronger if you manage to pull it a second time--or, up to five times. So we could try pulling for it again. And there's another unit I wanted to get--oh, and in a different game--"

Taiga went along with Ren's increasing excitement, tapping away at the screen. Ten-pulls glimmered with high rarity units and supports even as games were switched. A few times Ren even asked Taiga to perform actions in the game for him, cheering quietly when he got him through difficult story missions that had been keeping him stuck in place for weeks.

All the while, Taiga insisted there was no charge.

But he didn't say anything about no debt.

And he may have said that Ren didn't have to pay, but that didn't mean he wouldn't extract value from him in other ways. In a few weeks Ren would be staring into the pen for some anomalous animal, wondering how he would get it all the way to Sinsotra without arousing suspicion, and trying not to think of the way he saw Taiga eat raw meat and bone that day, complaining to the student who'd brought it for him that it wasn't fresh enough but it'd do.

He refused to blame himself for all of this though. It's not his fault the guy with improbable luck was a mafia boss. It's not his fault the mafia boss was an underhanded carnivore. And it sure as hell wasn't his fault he was assigned to the house full of animals!

And it wasn't his fault that the gacha rates were so low he went this route either. It's capitalism's fault! It's the fault of companies preying on gambling addictions! He's not to blame for this! He refused to be!

[fox-guardian]

[ID: An MSPaint comic of OP, a person with a topknot, heart-shaped sunglasses, and long elf ears with earrings, driving in a car. The first panel shows them driving normally labelled "going to work". Then someone goes "YOOOO" from outside the car, and OP goes "wh-" as they look, confused. Someone in another car driving next to them is holding up a red phone, and they are still going "YOOOO". Red text pointing to the phone reads "RECORDING ME". OP looks deeply uncomfortable as they look at the person and quietly say "... why". end ID]

~~~~

so i got recorded while driving to work the other day

[bacchuschucklefuck]

oh fuck I got class swap fabian I think. I kiiinda know what I want him to look like now

[weaverofink]

I like to think that the northern tribes are actually relatively normal and it's just York that acts this way & everyone let's him because he's very large and very strong

[polycrews]

ddcds. for u (hopefully ur day will b a bit better!)

had to take a second to respond to this because dear GOD this made me lose coherent thoughts. ahem

[ganondoodle]

why does it seem so impossible for theory people .. or any people really to even consider that rauru isnt the firstest of the first kings of hyrule, its been remade so many times already and the 'forgotten era of myth' might as well have included hyrule being forgotten; instead its always messing with the old titles and timeline and im so TIRED

is it rly some sort of complex to HAVE to connect the new stuff to the old titles somehow?? again i get that theorizing and all that can mean anythign but i havent seen anyone even bring up the fact that maybe, this is just a new hyrule and rauru was just the first guy on this one to call himself king, maybe the name hyrule survived but it didnt connect back to a kingdom so hey jsut thought thats a neat old name lets call it that, hell, maybe it was a surname of sonia even so he literally just called the kingdom after her not knowing its been called that since the beginning of time, wouldnt that be a cool coinsidence!! and also rly sweet of him!! like him being called rauru!! like a guy loooong long before him that no one knows of bc its been so long its long been forgotten he ever existed! isnt that cool and somber connection!

id also love if someone could just kinda ... consider botw/totk(uhg) as their own thing, like, i love the old titles, but i also love them as being done, their era has ended, this is a new era, what if we could just ... view this new era as their own thing without having to chain every little bit of dialog to the old titles

i really wish rauru/sonia never said they just founded hyrule, and zelda(i think) never called him the 'first' king bc apparently some people are unable to think oh this is a new hyrule and he was the first king of this one like i did but instead go into a rampage trying to make everyone believe totks past is somehow canonically right after fucking SKYWARD SWORD; like ... some people take every line of dialog like wayyy to literally, rauru probably THOUGHT he was the one who founded this kingdom bc he literally couldnt know any better with everything of the old stuff being so loong forgotten already, hes just some dude and not literal god who knows it all, characters can be wrong even when they believe they are right!!

(yes i am annoying about this bc i hate this on a personal level)

like .. i cant be the only one who thinks botw to be of a new era so long after all the old titles its basically a new world entirely, with no direct links to anything in the past, with references and callbacks from all old legends, but still a new world, without chains to the old, reoccuring names and happenings haunting it just the same as it did all the ones before them yet not being aware this has been happening over and over .... .. and, after it was said that oh rauru was the name of the 'first' king of hyrule, immediately thought oh shit he founded this new hyrule coolio (lets ignore how much i grew to dislike totk in general, i was hopeful still at that point) (lets also ignore how many problems totk alone has with its own damn lore for this ok, its its own mess that dragged botw into its mess but that doesnt mean it ALSO has to drag literally every single other game into its mess too)

[alchemiclee]

i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.

[carbon--14]

not putting this on the art blog cuz it’ll probably never get finished but re: that other post, WOE. STEVEN GRANT BE UPON YE

[femboty2k]

I dont think you should be able to use the phrase liminal space until you've worked a soul crushingly depressing office job, preferably overnight, and wandered around a little bit on a bathroom break and witnessed endless hallways of nothing but cheap electronic equipment and boxes stacked everywhere because no one can find the time or pay enough people to unpack them. The space is and always will be in between instances of use. No one settles in, it is rented, it is used, it is moved out of.

[marimeeko]

Remember what Best Jeanist said about your hero name? How it should be like a promise, or your vow as a hero is something like that?

... If Katsuki just made Kacchan his hero name to the world....

[wormshirt]

Thirteen and yasmin are insane because watching the show it feels like the doctor is genuinely incapable on some level of truly loving yasmin- even to the extent that she fell in love with previous companions.

Hear me out, (this is a bit of a crackpot theory) something about this regeneration, something in the way she seems to be built as a direct reaction to twelve's late-season unabashed emotionally vulnerability- the way he held onto the pain and emotions and held on HARDER when they hurt, and now thirteen wont even pick them up.

Somewhere in those few seconds of regeneration, the regeneration itself must have latched onto the previous doctor's lingering thoughts- all those thoughts, a whole lifetime thinking about how much everything HURT- of much EASIER it would be to just AVOID all of that to just IGNORE it how he didn't HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT. But regeneration is a bit of a tricky process isn't it? You're usually lucky enough to get the right amount of arms and legs. You'd probably have pretty poor luck if you tried politely explaining"I'm just kind of grieving pretty hard right now and my life sucks ass usually and my desire to not suffer and irrationally blame my emotions themselves for this is actually a pretty common response so please don't overreact and make me incapable of proper emotional expression and connection with the people in my life please that'll actually make this WORSE not BETTER." I mean seriously good luck trying to explain those concepts to splitting timelord cells, I can't imagine they're great with conversation.

So the twelth Doctor's dying and one of his last thoughts is "man if I cared about people less I'd suffer less" and the thirteenth doctor is born (in a sense) woth that thought at the forefront. And she still cares!- so, SO much, but... it's.. different. It's not quite CLICKING. anymore. Things that WERE easy or at least DOABLE before just AREN'T now. Or at the very least they feel WRONG. Like walking around in someone else's shoes. In an old coat that doesn't quite fit. In an old face. And then the universe dumps the doctor right into the lap of 3 new companions with no clue about space or aliens or the doctor or any of that. No idea of what the doctor was like before- of what she is capable of now or WAS capable of before, and she doesn't tell them either.

And so she's walking around and she's keeping this ravine of distance between herself and everyone and everything in a way she never has before and there's no one there to call her out on it, but she pretends! She pretends it's not there! And she's really, REALLY good at it this time- maybe because twelve regretted not being better at it himself, even (but that's a different thought). And sure the companions call her out on it, yasmin in particular calls her out on it A LOT, Ryan, too- but they still don't realise the EXTENT to which the Doctor is (failing? refusing?) to connect with them because they have ONLY EVER met THIS DOCTOR and so they don't realise how drastic the difference is. They lack the proper knowledge to REALISE what is even truly going on with the doctor. But the doctor is still the doctor aren't they. And these are still their companions. And frankly, they're still kind of a dick.

So despite their sudden inability to connect with their companions on a level the doctor has never experienced before, and despite these new companions personalities being so unique and their journey with the doctor being so hectic that the doctor and all of them keep chafing and slipping out of the same old Doctor-And-Companion molds that the doctor keeps trying to shove them all into, the doctor wont stop trying to make these old molds fit! And honestly that never ends up being a huge problem for any of them. It's just kind of an interesting aspect of the doctor- a fascinating way that they sort of dehumanize their friends, by just plopping them in a mold and replacing them when they wear out. Because of course you still care for them! But by giving them a ROLE in your life that can just be REPLACED as opposed to letting them exist as a PERSON in your life once they're gone? That makes things easier. That makes the grief easier to bear.

ANYWAYS. back to the yasmin thing. If you remember the Yasmin thing. So. Yasmin falls in love. Of course she does. And the doctor notices. Of course she does. She's old and more people have been messing with her head than usual but she's good with noticing things no matter what else changes about her. And she doesn't say anything. Because she's a timelord! And Yasmin will die, or fall in love with someone else, or turn into a cyberman, or experience one of the infinite possibilities of horrors or wonders in all of time and space that will tear them apart and the doctor will be left alone again, so what's even the point!

Except then Ryan and Graham leave. And then the Timeless Child arc happens. And it wouldn't hurt to feed into it a little would it? Just to keep Yasmin around? Just to keep her from leaving? It wouldn't hurt right? I mean Thirteen could love Yas! She does! Of course she does! Yas is her fam! Her companion! The only one who's stuck with her through it all!- who keeps calling her out, coming back for her, saving her, taking care of her, helping her- and she's grateful! And she cares about Yas! That's not so different from love, right? And love would make Yas stay! And it'd be easy! It'd take what?- a date? Two? Probably! Humans like dates! And romance! And flirting! She can do those! In all honestly she HAS been doing those- (She gets incredibly posessive of anything that becomes part of her tardis, her world, her home, and well, yasmin has been there a long time. And flirting is fun! And a sort of socially acceptable way of staking a claim isn't it? Not to mention the doctor isn't great at denying themself anything that gets another being to feed their ego.) So she leads Yas on a little. Drops hints here and there. She doesn't really know if she means them or not but she knows that she wants Yasmin to stay, that she can't even imagine Yasmin leaving. And that's love right? Or close enough anyways.

So she decides that she loves Yasmin and that she and Yasmin are "together" in a way and decides not to question it further. Because she's placed yasmin in a new companion mold and herself in a new doctor-companion relationship model, and everything's as it should be! and yasmin has no other point of reference for the doctor, so she settles for what she's given. Decides "this is all she can give. She abandoned Ace and Tegan seemingly without a second thought and didn't even apologize- I guess this is how it's always been, with every companion. That's fine! I can handle this! It's worth it for her." And in the meantime The Doctor is sitting there on the other side of the console fully aware of the fact that this is in fact NOT the limits of her affection, but she's HAPPY, or at least as happy as she will allow herself to be with Yasmin.

Yasmin though. Yasmin WANTS more, she DESERVES more and Thirteen KNOWS this, but Thirteen puts her own desire to both keep Yasmin at a distance and avoid desciphering her own feelings above Yasmin. Eventually, Dan calls the doctor out on this. Pretty much just telling her "You KNOW that she likes you. Do SOMETHING about it." The doctor doesn't say anything but does, in a later episode, sit down on a beach and make a wish with Yasmin. "I wish this would go on forever" both meaning she hopes yasmin stays with her forever and that their relationship never progresses. She has everything she needs from yas- which, for the doctor who with previously loves (i am intentionally NOT specifying romantic interests) became OBSESSED with them to the point of not just self-destruction, but universe destruction? Potential INTER-universal destruction in the case of Rose? How could THAT doctor- because YES this is a DIFFERENT DOCTOR, but this is still THE DOCTOR- ever be satisfied with the disconnected relationship she has with Yasmin if she was in love with Yasmin? If she felt THAT WAY about Yasmin? Like she had for all those comapnions that had come before Yasmin that The Doctor had fallen in love with?